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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #41371
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    Conner wants a little brother too. He's very excited about Jesi being pregnant. He's hoping it's a boy because 'we have too many girls'

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #41372
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    Aw, is Jesi going to find out the gender at one of her u/s?

    We went out looking at cars today; I am so excited. I might have a nice car to drive around when I start my teacher training!

  3. #41373
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    Buying a car is exciting!!!

    Yes, Jesi plans on finding out the sex. I can't wait!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #41374

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    I can't wait either Chrissy! What week do they usually find out the gender? I can't remember.

  5. #41375
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I can't wait either Chrissy! What week do they usually find out the gender? I can't remember.
    Pfft...I can't remember either. 20? 25? I dunno Not soon enough!!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #41376
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    Gender u/s is around 20 weeks? Could be a little earlier or later, IIRC. Have you guys talked names?

  7. #41377
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    Jesi hasn't mentioned any name preferences to me at all. I'm not sure if she's waiting to find out the sex, or if she's keeping it a secret for some other reason.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #41378

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    Hope you get a boy for Connor. I'm somewhat biased towards little boys.

    I'm "sleeping" in the 3rd bedroom tonite, supposedly to get some rest. But I can't sleep and have to get up in 3 hours to run 7.5 miles. Aargh. Stupid sugar.

  9. #41379
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    I had u/s biweekly with the twins starting at 12 weeks because they had to be monitored closely. They first time they looked for anything was 16 weeks. There was no mistaking what I was having. Lol! both the boys had everything on display at every appointment!

    My dr said they look. Between 18-20 weeks. I dunno if if varies between an MFM to a reg OBGYN though.

  10. #41380
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    I thought maybe 16 weeks, but it also seems like they told me at that age it was harder to tell and the chances of being wrong were greater. I remember being 16 weeks with Conner and many moms were feeling their babies kick and I wasn't Not that that has anything to do with the price of eggs in Phoenix, but ya know...pregnancy talk makes me think tangentially.

    I'm going to the bf's tonight. And next weekend. Life is really feeling very, very strange. But in a good way.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #41381

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    Well, I think it's official that the new women next door are snubbing me! It's an interesting situation over there as my neighbor is in her mid-90's and widowed with no children. Since we have moved here, the same guy about my age has mowed her lawn and come over a few times a week for visits and maintenance. He always told Mark the house was going to be his when she died. Well apparently he has bought it from her now possibly because she was struggling financially be we are not sure about that. Either way, the deal is that she wants to stay in the house until she dies, but it's his so he has started to remodel. They added a new room, new roof (as you may remember) and just doing a lot of different things. ANYWAY, it's this guy, his girlfriend who is pregnant and they have a 5 year old son. So now there is a lot of hub-bub over there between them and their friends hanging out and working on the house while the kids and wives sit in the yard and smoke cigarettes and drink beer. The guys seem friendly enough although they cuss and drink like crazy but the wives won't even look up when I am near them (and our houses are feet apart so impossible for us not to run into each other especially since me and mine are outside pretty much sun up to sun down) I wave and smile and nothing. The kids and husbands talk to me and I make a serious effort to make eye contact with the women and...nothing. I mean, I know I look strange sometimes and my clothes don't match and I wear my bandana pirate style (it keeps the tics off my head!) and I sit in the teepee and eat lunch with my toddler and my kids are loud and talk about bugs a lot and don't go to school. But I'm NICE gulldurnit! I'm sad that they are going to be my new neighbors and don't seem to even want to smile at me. I will admit feeling really foolish walking down the street, all of us with walking sticks for a whole block and half walk to the place where we can put our feet in the water, and the kids with flags they made and waving at them and not getting a response. I've been trying to remain positive and hopeful about the whole thing because I'm actually bummed about having active neighbors. I love having this little spot to ourselves since she's been so quiet and the neighbors on the other side are summertime weekend only. *sigh* And....my enter button still won't work in here!

  12. #41382

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    Bridget, it's perfectly obvious to me that you are awesome and they are lame. Probably they are so lame they just don't comprehend your awesomeness, or they are intimidated by it because they are boring mouth-breathers who just like to sit around drinking beer and smoking while you are out with your kids in the tepee having fun. You make them look bad, and their kids are probably melonheads.

    That said, maybe with time things will thaw and you'll get to know the woman who lives in the house and it will turn out she's just shy of new people. Or she is terribly embarrassed because of the hullabaloo the guy was making on the roof at you, and she doesn't know how to say so. Or she just really hates being pregnant and she's miserable in the new house and she's putting up a good front with her friends who visit but she doesn't have the bandwidth to be friendly to anyone else because she might just burst into tears, especially because you have a kind face.

    I'm sorry your peaceful quiet spot has been invaded. I hope eventually you can become nice neighbors together, if not friends.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  13. #41383

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    I said the same thing to dbf this morning, that maybe she is just shy. I've been accused of snobbery before, when I actually just didn't know how to join the conversation as it takes me awhile to feel comfortable. But then today, her friend's son was talking to me while I was weeding the garden and him mom came over to tell him they were leaving and he started to tell her about our conversation, "Mom! Do you know she has chickens and they get into her strawberry garden?" and I smiled at her and said, "All kinds of excitement over here." and she just told him to come on and didn't even respond to me. I just felt like that was so blatant. But you are right, there could always be circumstances I am unaware of. I have figured out that it's her husband, btw, (the friend's) that is the obnoxious roofer. The other very strange thing is that the 3 kids I've been taking care of for years, their mom tells me that these are all her really good friends. So I feel like they have to know of me through her....

  14. #41384
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    The obnoxious roofer husband has been doing all kinds of things to get your attention and the wife doesn't really want to talk to you? AND you're the super-awesome mom that she's been hearing about for years? Despite the fact that you hang out in a teepee, and you have interesting attractions in your yard and you're totally hot and you have your own style and wear it well, I can kind of see why, in normal-land, she would be a little hesitant about being friendly with you.

    Yay! I got my internet back! It's been almost a week of agony. And I was right about the band-pass filter on the pole outside needing to be switched because of the frequency change by my ISP, and nobody at my ISP, not at the office (which I visited twice) nor during any of the 6+ hours I spent on the phone with various tech support, NOBODY had any clue that this was done or was an issue. I can't believe another mom from the kindergarten was a better tech support than my ISP over 8 hours of escalation.

    Anyway, I have to go to work tomorrow and it's late now, so I can't write too much. But I've missed you. Needless to say, my first act was to write a letter of complaint along with a demand for a refund for those missing days of service.


  15. #41385

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    I know for Maiya, we got the "big" u/s at 20 weeks 4 days, and it was obvious she was a girl. Clear shot! But at the 13 week u/s we also had a very strong suspiscion she was a girl, it was just too early to bet on, yet.

    Aw, Bridget, you are very nice! Unfortunately, some people can't handle that. I think L has the right idea, she's probably jealous of you. I hope, though, no matter what the reason, that she warms up to you!

    Ack, L, that's awful about your internet. Hope they give you a full (or more) refund.



  16. #41386
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I said the same thing to dbf this morning, that maybe she is just shy. I've been accused of snobbery before, when I actually just didn't know how to join the conversation as it takes me awhile to feel comfortable. But then today, her friend's son was talking to me while I was weeding the garden and him mom came over to tell him they were leaving and he started to tell her about our conversation, "Mom! Do you know she has chickens and they get into her strawberry garden?" and I smiled at her and said, "All kinds of excitement over here." and she just told him to come on and didn't even respond to me. I just felt like that was so blatant. But you are right, there could always be circumstances I am unaware of. I have figured out that it's her husband, btw, (the friend's) that is the obnoxious roofer. The other very strange thing is that the 3 kids I've been taking care of for years, their mom tells me that these are all her really good friends. So I feel like they have to know of me through her....
    Um, wow. That was actually rude of her.

    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    The obnoxious roofer husband has been doing all kinds of things to get your attention and the wife doesn't really want to talk to you? AND you're the super-awesome mom that she's been hearing about for years? Despite the fact that you hang out in a teepee, and you have interesting attractions in your yard and you're totally hot and you have your own style and wear it well, I can kind of see why, in normal-land, she would be a little hesitant about being friendly with you.

    Yay! I got my internet back! It's been almost a week of agony. And I was right about the band-pass filter on the pole outside needing to be switched because of the frequency change by my ISP, and nobody at my ISP, not at the office (which I visited twice) nor during any of the 6+ hours I spent on the phone with various tech support, NOBODY had any clue that this was done or was an issue. I can't believe another mom from the kindergarten was a better tech support than my ISP over 8 hours of escalation.

    Anyway, I have to go to work tomorrow and it's late now, so I can't write too much. But I've missed you. Needless to say, my first act was to write a letter of complaint along with a demand for a refund for those missing days of service.
    She's clearly jealous of you B.

    And yay for interwebs!!!! It's shocking you went that long without it and so many were clueless about why.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #41387
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    Generally the ‘big’ ultrasound is scheduled around 18-20weeks because they can get the most accurate measurements during that time. My next appointment is next Thursday (30th) and we’ll be scheduling the ultrasound than. So more than likely it’ll be more like 22 weeks before we get to do ours I tried to convince DH to do an elective, but he said I was being inpatient

    B, I definitely think she’s jealous of you or possibly intimated by you. It sounds more to me like she is being purposefully rude, but it is hard to really tell sometimes with people. I am not buddy-buddy with my neighbors but at the very least I smile and wave when we pass each other, etc.

    L, I am glad your internet back but I am sorry it has been such a hassle! I hope they refund you for the days of service that you missed.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  18. #41388
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    Ok, so time for a babble....

    Most of you know my relationship with my father, is well, barely a relationship.... I see him on Sundays, for one purpose, because that is his standing date(?) with Nolan. He comes Sunday morning and spends a good chunk of the day with him. They go to the park to feed ducks, etc. Nolan loves it and I told my dad that it could continue for as long as he didn't show his a$$ and did not come to my house after he had been drinking.

    Well, we kept Nolan home Mothers Day weekend to spend with us. I had told dad the weekend before that I wanted to skip that Sunday and it was no big deal. Told him we'd seem him the following Sunday (this past weekend). Well, Sunday morning comes and hubs is trying to call him, the phone keeps going to voicemail.

    DH drove down to my dads place (which is right down the road) and my dads Jeep was there, with no tag, and DH said it didn't look like anyone had been there in a few days. ((((btw my dad lives in a box truck, in an old friends of his yard))) So, anyway. I thought he would stop by at some point during the day and give some excuse (working or whatever), but he never did.

    Should I be worried? On one hand, I'm not. I mean he's grown, he's perfectly capable to taking care of himself. BUT we've been having this routine for about a year now and he's never missed a Sunday with Nolan without calling or at the very least stopping by (when he didn't have a phone).

    I thought about maybe having DH stop by over there this week and maybe taking some leftover dinner like he does sometimes, to make sure everything is OK without it seeming like we are checking up on him. I don't know, I feel silly for even worrying about it, I barely tolerate the mans existence so why should I care if he drops off the face of the planet Sigh... anyway, random babble from me and it'll probably turn out to be nothing.....

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  19. #41389

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    Hmmm, so what you are all saying is that you can see why they don't want to be friends with me!! I don't think that makes me feel better! lol Christine (Sorry for the lack of paragraphs here, no enter key) I think I would be worried. And I'm sorry that you have to be, and that you have such conflicted feelings about him. That must be difficult.

  20. #41390
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Ok, so time for a babble....

    Most of you know my relationship with my father, is well, barely a relationship.... I see him on Sundays, for one purpose, because that is his standing date(?) with Nolan. He comes Sunday morning and spends a good chunk of the day with him. They go to the park to feed ducks, etc. Nolan loves it and I told my dad that it could continue for as long as he didn't show his a$$ and did not come to my house after he had been drinking.

    Well, we kept Nolan home Mothers Day weekend to spend with us. I had told dad the weekend before that I wanted to skip that Sunday and it was no big deal. Told him we'd seem him the following Sunday (this past weekend). Well, Sunday morning comes and hubs is trying to call him, the phone keeps going to voicemail.

    DH drove down to my dads place (which is right down the road) and my dads Jeep was there, with no tag, and DH said it didn't look like anyone had been there in a few days. ((((btw my dad lives in a box truck, in an old friends of his yard))) So, anyway. I thought he would stop by at some point during the day and give some excuse (working or whatever), but he never did.

    Should I be worried? On one hand, I'm not. I mean he's grown, he's perfectly capable to taking care of himself. BUT we've been having this routine for about a year now and he's never missed a Sunday with Nolan without calling or at the very least stopping by (when he didn't have a phone).

    I thought about maybe having DH stop by over there this week and maybe taking some leftover dinner like he does sometimes, to make sure everything is OK without it seeming like we are checking up on him. I don't know, I feel silly for even worrying about it, I barely tolerate the mans existence so why should I care if he drops off the face of the planet Sigh... anyway, random babble from me and it'll probably turn out to be nothing.....
    I don't think it's ridiculous to be worried. You might be aggravated over his behavior, but he's still your dad. On some level, there is caring there. It wouldn't hurt to stop in during the week and see if he's around. It's strange (to me) that there weren't any tags on his Jeep. Unless he got another vehicle and he was gone somewhere in it when your dh stopped on Sunday?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Hmmm, so what you are all saying is that you can see why they don't want to be friends with me!! I don't think that makes me feel better! lol Christine (Sorry for the lack of paragraphs here, no enter key) I think I would be worried. And I'm sorry that you have to be, and that you have such conflicted feelings about him. That must be difficult.
    Um, no...we don't really see why they wouldn't want to be friends with you. But we're secure and don't feel threatened by your awesomeness.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #41391
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    Christina, please check on him. If something is wrong, you will regret not doing so.

    Bridget, we know you're awesome, and like just how awesome you are. Maybe they will come around to the same POV later. Although if the behavior is based on how the roofer dude was totally making an ass of himself over you, that might not happen.

  22. #41392
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Hmmm, so what you are all saying is that you can see why they don't want to be friends with me!! I don't think that makes me feel better! lol Christine (Sorry for the lack of paragraphs here, no enter key) I think I would be worried. And I'm sorry that you have to be, and that you have such conflicted feelings about him. That must be difficult.
    Well, your hawt, your an awesome mom, have gorgeous children, I see a lot of reasons to dislike you without having met you

    and thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I don't think it's ridiculous to be worried. You might be aggravated over his behavior, but he's still your dad. On some level, there is caring there. It wouldn't hurt to stop in during the week and see if he's around. It's strange (to me) that there weren't any tags on his Jeep. Unless he got another vehicle and he was gone somewhere in it when your dh stopped on Sunday?
    Sigh, yes. I prefer not to care, its easier most of the time, especially since he is on an obviously self destructive path.

    My Aunt stopped by on her way to the airport Sunday night and mentioned that my dad called a week or so ago and mentioned having issues with his truck (belt or something), but what I can't figure is *how* he would've gotten another vehicle, but who knows....

    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Christina, please check on him. If something is wrong, you will regret not doing so.
    You are right. Last thing I need is more guilt on my head, my parents are good at that.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  23. #41393

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    Christina, I was gonna say what Suja said. Go ahead and worry now, and you can always reprimand him later if he was just being asshatty yesterday. Either way, I'm sorry, lady.

    Bridge, remember how I said last week that, when people don't like me, they really seem to dislike me? I was talking mostly about women like your gal next door. I used to take the female "freeze out" so personally, but then I started to notice that it mostly came from catty, immature females who don't have a lot going on for themselves and are easily threatened by the sight of someone who has a genuine passion for things in life besides outer appearances. So I wouldn't worry too much about her, although if you decide that's how she really is, I'd avoid like the plague.

    I don't know. Some people are just so focused on other people that they make themselves unhappy. I kind of feel sad for them.

    Beyond that - and this is now me waxing about me and not your situation anymore, Bridget - I've realized that a good connection with someone else is a rare thing. So in the past, I used to feel like something was wrong with me if I walked into a room and couldn't start a conversation with anybody. It's particularly tough when it's a social type of club and everyone knows everyone else and you're expected to angle your way into someone's chat circle. But I guess it just hit me one day that a 1% connection rate is pretty darn good, like, I'd be lucky to find 1 person out of a hundred that I'd enjoy talking to, never mind who'd enjoy talking to me. And so, in a room of 30, I'm cool if my 1 connection isn't in that room at just that moment.

    I'm not sure if that made any sense.

    Anyway, as I got older, it became a comfort to know there are people I actually can easily converse with and on a deep level, because if it doesn't flow like that, I don't try to force it. I don't even pretend to expect it to be a connection.

    Like yesterday, DH and I were walking down the street and this bike messenger stopped him by yelling "Steve!" It turned out to be one of the former valet parkers from his old studio in LA. They had a really warm exchange, were excited at the coincidence, but then just shook hands and said goodbye, happy to leave it to fate to bring them together again. A younger me would have felt like I needed to take his number and at least say "Let's keep in touch." Now, I'd be fine with walking away like DH did.

    And that's why I've started unfriending old high school people from FB. Lol. One was the son of a bonafide rock star (I can share who off-APA if you're curious). I unfriended him yesterday because he friended me 5 yrs ago and hasn't said a word to me since I accepted his invitation. I don't just want to be in his collection, kwim?

    DH & I saw the new Star Trek last night, btw, and my new crush is Benjamin Cumberbatch with the deep voice. DH was kind of offended that I didn't choose someone hunkier. I think he thinks that if I don't find hunks attractive, he must not be a hunk himself.
    Last edited by demigraf; 05-20-2013 at 11:25 AM. Reason: Correcting autocorrect

  24. #41394

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    BTW, my run was super fun yesterday ("Bay to Breakers" is more like a 7.5 mile street party than running event). Even the ride in on the train was exciting, pulling up to each platform and seeing what was walking onto the train next (alligators, clowns, glam rockers, etc...). I'll be sharing pics shortly. I ran the whole thing in a golfy/Andy Capp hat and a moustache. Saw the requisite naked people and slapped a whole lot of high fives. DH had parked 1.5 miles from the finish line (closest parking he could find) and jogged up with Bodhi, and so I ended up running all the way back to the car with them too. So I ran 9 miles in total yesterday. On 3 hrs of sleep. Oy!

  25. #41395

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    Christina, I agree with everyone else. If you check on him, and he's fine, you can just be annoyed with him. But if you don't, you might feel bad later. I hope he's okay. Ugh - it's ridiculous how parents can still trip us out even when we're adults, isn't it? From just what you've mentioned, you've been incredibly generous to let him spend Sundays with Nolan. What a gift to give them both, even if it's hard on you. So impressive.

    Myles, I like everything you muse about friendship, and it's good food for thought for me too -- but since I can't really process it that quickly, all I can say is that Benedict Cumberbatch is great. DD1 and I both like him a lot, especially in the Sherlock series from BBC. Have you watched those? They're SO good, and he's fantastic. We've been dying to see him in Star Trek, but had too busy a weekend to fit it in. We will soon, though. Did you like the rest of the movie, too? I'm hoping it's as entertaining as the first.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  26. #41396
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Bridge, remember how I said last week that, when people don't like me, they really seem to dislike me? I was talking mostly about women like your gal next door. I used to take the female "freeze out" so personally, but then I started to notice that it mostly came from catty, immature females who don't have a lot going on for themselves and are easily threatened by the sight of someone who has a genuine passion for things in life besides outer appearances. So I wouldn't worry too much about her, although if you decide that's how she really is, I'd avoid like the plague.

    I don't know. Some people are just so focused on other people that they make themselves unhappy. I kind of feel sad for them.
    Right or wrong, that's always been my deduction as well. Since I was 14. I always assumed women (girls) that instantly didn't like me were just jealous. Not that I 'got it' or anything because I don't think I'm all that, but it's definitely been an issue. It's much easier for me to connect with and make friends with guys. Always has been. I don't worry about it. Mostly 'cause I'm lazy

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #41397

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    I'm going to try to share a pic here, but not sure it's going to work: Can you see it?



    This is a shot of the runners going up Hayes Hill yesterday (well, runners mostly on the left, walkers on the right), and it's not even that good of a visual to show just how many revelers there were out in the streets yesterday at 7am. There were 30,000 registered participants in this year's race. It's only my 2nd year doing it, and I'm in love with this event. The energy you get from all these happy people is amazing.
    Last edited by demigraf; 05-20-2013 at 12:01 PM.

  28. #41398
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    Yes, I can see it and Wow that's alotta people!!! How fun!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #41399

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    I mentioned on FB, Myles, but I thought of you yesterday driving through the city. Saw some fantastic costumes. Gotta love Bay to Breakers! I remember one year taking the subway in the city with DD1 and being face-to-face (or face-to-crotch, depending if they were standing while we sat) with some superheroes, mexican wrestlers, and other fabulous folks. What a party!
    And I am seriously impressed about you running 9 miles, especially on so little sleep. I get winded just running to the end of the block. Way to go, girl.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  30. #41400
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    I have never gotten along with other women, I always thought it was because I was raised with a bunch of boys. I tend to be pretty oblivious when poeple like me and even when they don't. I generally just don't care. I do love the ladies I work with and have gotten very close with them, so there's that.

    I am most definitely not one to be jealous of, so that is a non-issue here.

    M I am so glad you enjoyed your run, that sounds like so much fun!! I have been slowly, but surely, getting rid of 'friends' on facebook. It takes a lot of work doing it and I am pretty lazy about it What's funny is that they keep re-friending me after I delete them

    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    Christina, I agree with everyone else. If you check on him, and he's fine, you can just be annoyed with him. But if you don't, you might feel bad later. I hope he's okay. Ugh - it's ridiculous how parents can still trip us out even when we're adults, isn't it? From just what you've mentioned, you've been incredibly generous to let him spend Sundays with Nolan. What a gift to give them both, even if it's hard on you. So impressive.
    That is a very kind thing to say, thank you. The whole situation makes me feel like crap and they (both of my parents) are quick to point such things out. My dad thinks that I should allow him to come over and interact with us more and my mom is upset with me because I told her I can't keep paying for her car insurance when it comes time for renewal (despite the fact I've been footing the bill for almost a year). How much am I supposed to give before it is OK for me to say no? Sigh....

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