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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #41311
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    I'm not really in to those sappy girly films. I watched the clip and thought, "Oh, I love that top Keira Knightley is wearing; I wonder where I can get one?!" LOL. Speaking of movies, Rich has brought home The Hobbit to watch...I've heard a lot of people say it's horrible, but since he brought it home, I must watch it to form an opinion now. I really want to read the book to Travis but Rich says he thinks he's still a little too young yet; even though, we did read him the full version of Pinnochio and that has got some pretty wacked things in it like the cat that rips its own paw off to sell for money, then Pinnochio getting hanged from a tree by the cat and fox and then Pinnochio being eaten by whale....

  2. #41312
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Wait. Wait. They changed your degree requirements after seeing your official transcripts? Who was responsible for that decision? And what policy makes it ok for them to just move the goal line on you like that?

    I'm sorry that you have to saddle up for battle while you're pregnant & uncomfy, but you really have to get to the bottom of this, and I hope there's some way they can change the requirements back for you. Or maybe by some fluke they have a different interpretation of the requirements and you won't have 3 more classes afterall.

    Hugs, girl!
    Oy, I forgot I was on my APA sebatical during all the hoop-la so you ladies didn't get the benefit of THAT issue. I'm a little calmer now, so hopefully I can explain a little better. I was in 'mini freak out' mode earlier.

    Turns out, when I completed my Associates, in 2009, I was never awarded my Associates Degree. I assumed that I must have messed up and never filled out the application (though with the issues I've had with them this year I am questioning that, but blame is pointless at this time). I filed for my degree at the beginning of this past school year.

    Saint Leo had my official transcripts, all this time, what they didn't have was transcripts showing an Associates Degree being awarded. So, they've been using just my credits to do my program evaluations, which according to my advisor, should not have made any difference. The only reason they needed the new transcripts was because they could not allow me to apply for a BA when I was never officially awared an AA.

    Ok, so, I applied for the degree at the beginning of the year and was told (verbally) back in October(?) they (my previous institution) would re-send my transcripts. January, my advisor calls me and tells me he hasn't received them. So, I submit the request, call to verify said request was received, it was. Call advisor, inform him requests are being re-sent. APRIL rolls around, he calls to tell me he hasn't received them. So, rinse and repeat previous scenario, with some harsh words when I called to verify the transcript request had been received.

    So, all that, and now he's received the transcripts, I've applied for graduation, and NOW he notices that I won't have a total of 120 credits when I complete my degree requirements. Yes, I am aware of that, BECAUSE I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT THIS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR.

    Advisor - "Who did you talk too about it?"
    Me- "You, I told you I would not have 120 credits when I finished my requirements and you said that was not a problem, that as long as I completed the required courses the total credits didn't matter"
    Advisor - Silence
    Me - "Well, I guess that doesn't matter NOW, does it?"

    Oh and my advisor has been changed and she has been "notified of the situation". You mean notified that you F'd up and now I have to deal. Thanks, thanks a lot.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  3. #41313
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    Oh Christina. How disappointing!

    Suja, thanks for the compliment. I'm not sure how I am. I don't really have a preference for personalities as long as people are nice. I have had great friends that most others thought were 'b1tchy' or whatever, but it was just that they were more particular about what made them laugh or smile. It didn't mean they weren't nice. Just like me laughing a lot or often doesn't really mean I'm a ditz.

    I like intellectuals and straight-shooters, but I also like people who are just...themselves. Not everyone is comfortable with that, and that's ok.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #41314
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    Oh, Christina, I would be livid! Can you take this higher? Do they have an ombudsman (is that the term?) or something that you can take your complaint to, and ask for a hearing?

    It shouldn't matter whether or not you have an AA, though. I never got one.

    I don't know how I come across in person. I don't do well in large groups, like parties. I tend to have no idea what to say and clam up. I assume people think I'm either deadly boring or stand-offish. At work, I'm very chatty and get along well with everyone. I'm good at making conversation with random families I meet every day. I think I just need to be comfortable. Once I'm comfortable I'll even over-share (and then that can also scare people away!) But it just depends on my environment. I'm a big chameleon some of the time. Which is probably why I'm able to maintain friendships with very different groups of people.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #41315
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Oh, Christina, I would be livid! Can you take this higher? Do they have an ombudsman (is that the term?) or something that you can take your complaint to, and ask for a hearing?

    It shouldn't matter whether or not you have an AA, though. I never got one.
    I really don't know. I've been depending on my advisor, obviously not a very good one, to tell me what I needed to do. I'm thinking this turned out to be quite a debacle being that it warranted my advisor being changed. He kept saying the situation was 'unique' and than apologizing. I don't think my situation was unqiue at all, he screwed up and didn't want to say as much.

    I'm trying to stay positive, and focus on the fact that it is presenting me with the opportunity to switch back to a major in Accounting, instead of the minor. I only switched to the minor because, according to him, the major required a few more classes and honestly, I am ready to be done. So, I'll be calling my *new* advisor for some clarification and input to make sure I understand everything completely. Probably tomorrow, I don't think I can do it a not-want-to-cuss-you-out mode at this time though.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  6. #41316
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    Sounds like maybe it will work out for the best, if it means you end up with the major you wanted anyway. Still ... it sucks. I'm sorry.

    We got the following email from leadership:
    Let's meet in the library at 2:30 (on X date). If you have specific questions, please email them to (director) and I.
    Okay, question #1: What is the topic of this meeting? That MIGHT help me figure out what questions I may or may not want to ask!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #41317

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    Wow, C'tina, just wow. So he gave you bad advice, which you went forward with in good faith and now he's just saying... "Oh, sorry about that." What the?!? Do you have any documentation, any published school policy, e-mails between you and your counselor, or anything to back up the way you'd understood the credit requirements? Does it boil down to your word against his? Oh, hisssssss... I'm very frustrated for you right now. And of course, sorry. Big hug, mama.

    =========

    I don't know how I come off. People who like me really like me, and people who don't... DON'T. I do know that some people treat me like I'm an alien freak, and I never completely figured out what social etiquette memo I didn't get, but clearly there's something I missed because I get that response consistently enough. However, I don't mind it because I tend to let people underestimate me at first, so if it's by way of thinking I'm a social freak, fine by me. People are more quick to show their true colors when they don't know yet what you're capable of.

    I'm not a blunt person. I tend to be overcritical in my head - even judgy - and I think if I really said everything I thought, I'd be insufferable. So I just try to be constructive. It's the best that I can do.

  8. #41318

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    Christina, also, since you suffered thru one miscommunication already, after you meet with your advisor, maybe you could send an e-mail summarizing to him/her how you understand your discussion, ending with, "Please reply with any corrections to my understanding if something was missed or misstated." That way, you'll have documentation on your side in the event something like this happens again. Good luck talking to your new advisor!
    Last edited by demigraf; 05-15-2013 at 04:32 PM.

  9. #41319

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    LOL Myles! I agree...he was definitely infatuated with her. I guess what I want is perpetual infatuation. LOL
    Oops, I forgot to refresh before I replied. I missed a whole page of posts. I'll catch up tomorrow.
    Last edited by daylilies; 05-15-2013 at 08:01 PM.

  10. #41320

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    Christina, that is so frustrating. I'd be very upset as well. I hope you can push through, but gosh, SUCKS you have to think about all that while caring for your new baby!

    Kai has been tantruming a lot lately and I can't figure out why since it appears that he is getting enough sleep. Although, he's not eating so well. Still complaining of the elusive stomach ache that no dr can figure out. Yesterday in the car he lost his sh!t because I gave them the choice between 2 parks and he picked one, Savana agreed. So I turned down the road we'd take to get to that one and when we were almost there he changed him mind. I told him we weren't going to change course now, that I was about to pull up to the one he picked. He just freaked out. I told him if he didn't calm down and stop screaming that we couldn't go at all and he called my bluff and said good let's not go. I HATE it when that happens! I was frustrated and said, "Kai, you are about to be six years old. I do not think you should be throwing temper tantrums anymore. Six year olds do not throw temper tantrums."

    "You threw a temper tantrum at Dad. I heard you. You cried and yelled just like I am."
    Holy touche, batman.

    I pulled into the next lot, which happened to be the bridge to the dam in our town. I was speechless, you guys because he was RIGHT. I did throw a tantrum. And he was in the next room. So I told him he was right and that I didn't handle that situation very well or set a good example for him about how to deal with angry feelings. But that we should all try really hard not to throw tantrums in the future. Then as a compromise since we couldn't go to the park, we walked the bridge and the river and just chilled out for a bit. Man, this kid is giving me a run for my money.
    Last edited by Bridget; 05-15-2013 at 08:46 PM.

  11. #41321
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    How very observant of him. And good for you for owning it Bridget. Man, if we could all be 1/2 as honest with ourselves, much less our children, as you are.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #41322
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I think it's definitely more infatuation, and they never show what happens after the couple gets together and rides off in the sunset. One of my favorite quotes from "The Mirror Has Two Faces" is when the professor played by Babs says: "This thing that we call a wedding ceremony is really the final scene of the fairy tale. They never tell you what happens after. They never tell you that Cinderella drove the Prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle, cause she missed her day job, right?"

    Definitely agree. I had a class in college called Philosophy of Love and my prof made this exact point when we were talking about different kinds of love like eros, philia and agape. That there is a reason most movies end with the couple getting together and riding off into the sunset.


    And Christina...OMG, that is awful news! I am really hoping that they figure it out and don't make you do those classes. I would be crying too!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #41323
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Wow, C'tina, just wow. So he gave you bad advice, which you went forward with in good faith and now he's just saying... "Oh, sorry about that." What the?!? Do you have any documentation, any published school policy, e-mails between you and your counselor, or anything to back up the way you'd understood the credit requirements? Does it boil down to your word against his? Oh, hisssssss... I'm very frustrated for you right now. And of course, sorry. Big hug, mama.
    Pretty much. I mean, really, I don't know the technical in's and out's of how everything works, so I was just taking his word for it. That's what they are there for right? STUDENT ADVISORS. I couldn't even base anything off of my evaluations, because of being a transfer-in a lot of the 1st and 2nd year requirements were different for me (Catholic university so a lot of religious classes and the like).

    I probably could make a big stink out of this, since we did communicate a lot via e-mail, but I do not believe it would change the requirements. If I can find it, I do want to pull one specific e-mail conversation that I remember having with him (in regards to the total credits) and I plan on submitting that portion, specifically, because that is what really caused this whole upset. Also, will be issuing a complaint about the fact that I am going to a PRIVATE University, paying out the wah-zoo for such a fact, to be given the most horrible service and information. Even with the credit requirement mix up, this could've been clarified had he gotten back to me in a reasonable time frame when we were having issues getting my transcripts. How does it take you 3 months (3 different times) to notify me that you did NOT receive them. Than, I bring the blame back to myself, maybe I should've kept calling and bugging him

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Christina, also, since you suffered thru one miscommunication already, after you meet with your advisor, maybe you could send an e-mail summarizing to him/her how you understand your discussion, ending with, "Please reply with any corrections to my understanding if something was missed or misstated." That way, you'll have documentation on your side in the event something like this happens again. Good luck talking to your new advisor!
    This is actually fantastic advice. Thank you for the suggestion. It almost makes me want to keep all of our conversations via e-mail to prevent any confusion. I might e-mail her today, wait for a response, than follow up with a phone call. It is hard for me to find time to call them being that our work hours are paralell to one another.

    Oh, and of course lets add to the pile o' fun. Yesterday was Florida's deadline for having had your FAFSA processed. I submitted it last night (which it'll take a week to process, so missed that deadline) meaning that I won't qualify for state aid now. Federal I am still well within the timeline, which thankfully is a much bigger chunk in comparison to the state. Just sucks though that I'll be loosing that bit of extra fudning, which just means more student loans - YAY!

    ----I am sorry for being a debbie downer, I feel like I am dwelling, and I thank you ladies for humoring me - I really do. My little 'yay go me!' moment from being SO close got shattered yesterday and so I'm all gloomy and annoyed. So, again, thank ya'll so much
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 05-16-2013 at 08:36 AM.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #41324
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    You're not being a debbie downer. This is a very stressful situation. I wish we could do more to help.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #41325
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    Isn't there a book, or a series of books about after the 'happily ever after'? It's driving me nuts that I can't remember more.

  16. #41326
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  17. #41327

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    Bridget, your conversation with Kai hit home for me too. I don't always handle my feelings well either, so why do I expect a 6 year old to? Because he should know better? Yes, but so should I.

    Before I had Josh I liked to watch those nanny shows where the woman comes in and tries to help you sort out the parents' problems with raising the kids. It always struck me that the kids were mirror images of the parents. I'd be yelling at the tv "Of course your kids don't listen to you! You don't listen to them!" That has certainly come back to bite me in the ass.

  18. #41328

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    Oh, (TANGENT ALERT!) I love stories that reinterpret well-worn classics. I think that's why I like "Once Upon A Time" a lot (corny as it may sometimes be) - even got DH into it. And the musical, "Into the Woods" is a dark/comic take on fairytales too and my intro to Stephen Sondheim, who is a lyrical genius in my book. I enjoyed the book "Wicked" (never saw the musical), and there's also this great novela called "Was" by Geoff Ryman that was a sad twist on the Dorothy of Oz story. So many good ones. Outside the fairytale realm, I tried getting into the Jane Austen fan fiction, but OMG is it bad. I love the stories, but when people try to write in her old world tone, it just comes off as sounding cheesy.

    Christina, you still deserve a "Yay, go you!" for hanging in there and being positive about this annoying snag.

    ====================

    Ummmm... I think my "friend" from Saturday may have crossed a line. I'm not quite sure. I'm trying to decide what to do about it or how to respond. Basically, it was a letter full of embarrassing compliments and this sort of open-ended "you do what you want with this information" at the end. But then again, it was just a letter full of embarrassing compliments with an open-ended "you do what you want with this information" at the end. KWIM? Like I can't tell if it should be read as an invitation to a torrid affair, which I'd find kind of insulting. From a karmic standpoint, at the very least, I think it exceeds my transparency guidelines, where I wouldn't be comfortable sharing the note with DH, and I think his wife would be sad to read it. Maybe I'll share it today off-APA with you girls, and ask you to help me think this through. :/
    Last edited by demigraf; 05-16-2013 at 10:43 AM.

  19. #41329

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    Bridget, Kai is a perceptive little soul. I wanna hug him. It's always a pleasant bonus to learn something from your own child. I'm also glad to read how you handled the park situation after he lost the privilege. I've replaced something I've taken away from B with something kind of equally distracting/fun but not the thing I've taken away, and I wasn't sure if I was losing the lesson. It's good to know I have some of the same reflexes as a wise mama like you. Also, it must be hard when there's more than one kid and the other has to deal with the punishment too, so I'm glad Savana got to spend time at the river and have a little R&R anyway.

  20. #41330
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    I am a sucker for those as well. Poor hubs hates when I get in the mood to re-watch "10th Kingdom" which is ridiculously long, but I fell in love with it years ago and it never ceases to make me laugh. I love, love, LOVE "Once Upon A Time" though I am sure I am quite behind on it, I believe I've only watched through Season 1 so far. Also loved the book "Wicked", read a couple other Gregory Maguire variations as well, including "What-the-****ens", "Son of A Witch" and "Confessions of an Ugly Step Sister" - I need to finish up that group one of these days when I read for leisure again.

    I wish I had some advice regarding your friend, but if it is something I would be uncomfortable showing DH - than in my mind it automatically gets thrown in the inapproriate category. I am sorry you are dealing with this, what an uncomfortable situation

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  21. #41331

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    Oh man, I love OUAT. Did you guys see a spinoff is coming out called Wonderland? That looks good too.

    I am a huge fan of Wicked the musical, in fact my husband got us tickets for my birthday. I think this is the third time we've seen it and I'm getting a little tired of it, but it'll be fun. LOL
    I've heard of Into the Woods, but never seen it. I probably should! And also read Was. I love the whole Oz world in general.

    Myles, without having seen the letter he wrote you, my gut reaction is to put an end to it now. If you get sucked into this it could get very bad.

  22. #41332
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    YAY! for Into the Woods! I'm big into musicals, and that one was appealing. Also, you haven't lived until you've seen WAY-off Broadway production of 'Little Shop of Horrors'.

    Mira wants me to read The Little Mermaid to her. She wants to know about the witch. The only one I have is the original, non-Disney-fied version. Too much for a 3 year old? I'm a little bit afraid she'll go share the "real" story with her classmates, some of whom just adore TLM, and pretend to be her and stuff, scarring them for life.

  23. #41333
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Ummmm... I think my "friend" from Saturday may have crossed a line. I'm not quite sure. I'm trying to decide what to do about it or how to respond. Basically, it was a letter full of embarrassing compliments and this sort of open-ended "you do what you want with this information" at the end. But then again, it was just a letter full of embarrassing compliments with an open-ended "you do what you want with this information" at the end. KWIM? Like I can't tell if it should be read as an invitation to a torrid affair, which I'd find kind of insulting. From a karmic standpoint, at the very least, I think it exceeds my transparency guidelines, where I wouldn't be comfortable sharing the note with DH, and I think his wife would be sad to read it. Maybe I'll share it today off-APA with you girls, and ask you to help me think this through. :/
    Oh man. I think I'd either ignore, or write back a sarcastic, "And pray tell, do what with it exactly?" And I'd definitely show DH. No matter what you decide. He may have a different perception that you do over it, or he may decide he's not completely comfortable with you spending time alone with him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I wish I had some advice regarding your friend, but if it is something I would be uncomfortable showing DH - than in my mind it automatically gets thrown in the inapproriate category. I am sorry you are dealing with this, what an uncomfortable situation
    I agree with this too..

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #41334

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    Does high school count as way off Broadway? I was one of the doo wop girls. There were some really talented kids in that show, including the guy who played the dentist, who was really quiet and blew everyone away by pretty much ad-libbing all his lines.

    I have hesitated to read original fairy tales to Josh. I think he'd love them but at the same time they are a little much. I like to indulge him in the creepy stuff since he seems to be totally into it but at the same time I don't want him to grow up and think I'm a terrible mother because he's suddenly plagued by nightmares about witches that cut your tongue out and he finds out I'm the one who introduced him to that stuff.

    I'd probably read her a book of the Disney version since that's probably the one she wants to know about.

  25. #41335

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    Christina, wow. How frustrating! That seems so unfair. You must feel like Sisyphus at this point, with your stone rolling halfway back down the hill as you watch.

    Hmmm, Myles. That does seem awkward, and I agree with the others that if you're feeling uncomfortable with the idea of showing it to your dh, that's a red flag. Not that that should be the only criteria -- your life shouldn't be determined by what makes your husband comfortable -- but it's something to think about. I think, personally, I'd have a hard time really respecting a man who could treat his wife disrespectfully (even if she doesn't know about it) -- and yes, that opinion bears the marks of my own baggage, but I do expect the people I choose to let into my life to have good character, and I'm not sure what your friend is showing here. Although perhaps he shouldn't be completely faulted, as you are surely difficult to resist, you Siren.*



    *Odysseus himself might have been tempted ... and okay, okay, enough already with the Greek mythology.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  26. #41336

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    We read all of the original fairy tales and all kinds of mythology from around the world. Some of it is off the chain strange and creepy but they, especially Savana, LOVES it. We just finished a great book called The Land of Stories about 2 kids that end up inside the book of fairy tales their mother reads to them and they are the original stories. It's definitely geared toward older kids so I had to edit some teenagery stuff that I wasn't ready to answer questions about.
    Kai said something interesting to me last night when he was telling me that he has nightmares sometimes and I asked him what they are about and if he thinks that watching the Harry Potter Movies causes him to have nightmares. He said no way, that he loves dreaming about harry potter and actually aims for it. "Those are great nightmares" he says. I tried asking him what the bad ones are but he had grown tired of the conversation by then!

    Myles, I'm very curious as to what he said and also quite sure by the way you describe that it would be best to cut ties.

  27. #41337

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    Bridget, how do you get around the teenagery stuff? Do you pre-read everything or when you see it coming do you just skip it?

  28. #41338
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    Myles, without question I would cut ties. It doesn't seem that a casual friendship is what he is after, and you aren't after anything else.

    I LOVED Into the Woods. When I was in my music major days, I actually worked production for that show. It's the only time I ever worked production on a show I wasn't in, but if we wanted to be in shows we had to do a certain amount of production as well, and I signed up for that one to get the credit out of the way. I was the perpetual chorus member (other than my brief moment of glory when I was cast as an understudy to the fourth daughter in Fiddler on the Roof, a character with only four lines total. But the fifth daughter only had two, so at least I wasn't her understudy!) and Into the Woods didn't have a chorus so I didn't get in. LOL! But seriously, Sondheim is a genius. My favorite Sondheim is West Side Story, though, and that isn't really considered a Sondheim work because he didn't write the music. Leonard Bernstein did. But WSS is the perfect marriage of faultless music and faultless lyrics. Although it is wayyyy dated, but I don't care.

    Once again I will bring up the fact that I was reading the Pete Townsend autobiography, and apparently after one of the first shows where they performed Tommy, Leondard Bernstein had been in the audience. He walked up to Townsend, shook his hand, and said, "Do you realize what you just accomplished?" Just reading that, I was so amazed. Bernstein is like, a THE composer of the twentieth century as far as I'm concerned.

    Okay, WHO is off topic here? Back to your regularly scheduled thread.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 05-16-2013 at 03:28 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #41339
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    I LOVE Once Upon a Time. So does DH. And we have tickets to see Wicked in Milwaukee next month with my sister and her gf. We are looking forward to that.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #41340

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Bridget, how do you get around the teenagery stuff? Do you pre-read everything or when you see it coming do you just skip it?
    I just see it coming and re-word or skip it. I'm not always very smooth about it so then I just pretend I lost my spot.

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