I'm glad her ninja class is going well!
I do not believe in physically picking up a child to put them in the water and that happened to Savana at her first lesson ever, after dbf had specifically told the teacher not to and that she may just sit on the side and watch for a bit. Then the supervisor came along and dragged her in as Savana was actually fighting her! I've since enrolled them at the YMCA which has gone well but they also had the kids all hanging onto the edge as the teacher would take one child at a time and it was very unnerving to me that if a child let go, it would HAVE to be a parent to notice since the teacher couldn't avoid having his back to the kids during several moments. Suja and L, I feel upset just reading your accounts. While we were swimming last night I also chastised myself for not getting the kids into lessons since last winter but they do seem to be teaching themselves...
I'm glad that the party went well! I took Savana and Kai to Aladdin today, theater production, and we had a really good time. They were asking me on the way there if it was going to be disney version or book version since we read the orginal Aladdin story which is very different than the disney and I told them I wasn't sure. About 15 minutes into it Kai said, "Oh, it's movie mode, Mom". That cracked me up and he was right that it was more the disney version but still very good. Dbf kept Sawyer with him and all went well even though he acted like it was going to be so difficult that I actually texted my dad to see if he could hang out with Sawyer instead, forgetting he already had plans.
I really had such a good day until I came home and dbf started making passive aggressive comments about the playroom being messy and he's sick of the house being messy. Which, by the way, hasn't been but was today because I was GONE all day and he was here but does no housework ever so of course breakfast dishes were still out and such. Also, this added to a comment he made yesterday, that has been eating away at me, about how "my way doesn't work" because Kai still puts his mouth on weird stuff like shopping cart handles and bites on broomsticks and things of that nature and I don't yell at him for it. Well, I lost my cool. I yelled at him and cried and basically became a bit maniacal. I told him if there was any balance whatsoever, meaning in the division of duties OR in his comments by way of sometimes being thankful for the fact that I take care of the kids and the house completely on my own and then once in awhile complaining...I might be less inclined to flip out when he is critical. Now he's all sorry and I don't care. I'm very angry. It's hard weekend for me already, missing my mom so much and I don't expect a darn thing for Mother's day but I at least wanted to be relaxed and joyful and he took that away from me.
Last edited by Bridget; 05-11-2013 at 08:49 PM.
I'm terrified of J drowning. She is a good swimmer but much more confident that she should be. She starts her first round of swim lessons next week and will probably do at least two more. They are so stupid expensive but I really want her to know how to swim because she is around water so much.
Glad your party went well, L.
We had two birthday parties today and then our neighbors' daughter got married and we went to the reception with J. It was pretty cool because they are from Mexico and don't speak any English at all. We have gone to both of their daughters' quinciñeras and now the first wedding. Each one of these events is huge, with hundreds of people and the best barbacoa and cabrito and tons of beer. The dresses are amazingly huge and everyone gets so dressed up that we feel like country mice next to all the glitter! They had a huge poster-sized wedding photo at the door next to the guest book and then after the two hour long dinner with strolling six-piece mariachi band they turned down the lights and showed the wedding album and then the wedding photo shoot movie! The wedding cake had eight smaller satellite cakes. Everything was turned up to 11. It's always fun to go to those things though no one sits with us because we don't speak Spanish - I can't imagine having to pay for an event like that every couple of years. Lavish and over the top!
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov
B - I don't see any reason why you should feel bad about losing your cool. He sure does have it easy and doesn't seem to have any trouble criticizing all the work you do. I don't know that I would thaw out any time soon, especially since he was pulling this on mother's day weekend when you are missing your mom. And I'm sorry, but they are his kids too and that S can be that old and he still feels like spending the afternoon with his child is so much work that you call your Dad to do it instead?!? No. Is he ever going to man up?
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov
L, S's party sounds awesome!! I'm sorry we couldn't be there. I know Noe would have loved to come and I would have liked to, too. I saw the invite while out getting ice packs and an inflatable donut and I thought, Oh, maybe we can do that, and then I promptly forgot about it in the hecticness (is that a word?) of the weekend. And it turns out I couldn't have done it anyway because I had a phlebotomy appointment this morning that was an hour-long snafu ending with no phlebotomy at all. But anyway, his party sounds lovely and it was a very nice day for it. Happy birthday to S! I can't believe he's 3 already, either.
I also can't believe what a hard time people gave you about the parties -- the Mother's Day thing astounded me the first time I heard it, and even more today. I'm glad you worked it all out to everyone's satisfaction, but the fact you even had to do that would have had me really annoyed. You handled it so well. I'm kind of speechless about your co-worker and the themed birthday cake. Really, a 3 year old needs a themed cake now? Ugh. Isn't anything we do good enough? I'm sure S was more than happy with his blue frosting.
Speaking of swimming. My mom took Nolan swimming for the first time yesterday while hubs took me maternity shopping. She said they started out just sitting him on the edge with his feet in so that he would get used to it and as soon as his feet touched the water he started laughing and splashing! He had SO much fun and cried after an hour or so when they went to get out. Mom said while they were in the water he kept asking to 'get down' cause he couldn't understand why there was no floor under his feet
I hope everyone is having a fantastic Mothers Day! We went to the flea market and yard-saleing this morning, just being out in the hot sun wears me out these days. So I am vegging finishing up a bit of my assignment while Nolan is taking his nap. Maybe I'll get lucky and get to take a short one too doubtful, but I can hope!
Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely ladies...I already had my day back in March.
I'm glad Nolan liked swimming, Christina.
Suja, that is terrible about what happened to Mira in her lesson. I hope you get an apology and that Mira isn't scarred by what happened. With Travis' swim lesson, there were 5 kids in the water along with 2 swimming instructors and all the parents as well.
Travis made me laugh today. I told him I loved the color of his skin because he's got the best tan going on from the little bit of sun (and you can see where his glasses should be when he takes them off because he has white lines!) I said something like, "The sun has really given you a nice skin color," and he said, "Yeah, mummy J and K at school both stayed out in the sun for quite a long time and their skin is really brown." (They are 2 mixed race kids). I couldn't help but to laugh and tried explaining to him that that was not due to the sun but because of their parents color.
I'm sorry, Bridget I know you're thinking of your mom more than usual today and you deserve to have a relaxing day.
I too had a sort of meltdown at DH the other day because he was harassing Josh for not eating, when I try not to make a big deal out of not finishing what's on his plate and I have discussed with DH that I do not want to make a battle out of that. He has a hard time letting it go because he grew up poor and was always taught not to waste food. Whatever he didn't finish was saved for the next day and I think that is a rather nasty practice and that kids shouldn't be punished for not being hungry. But anyway, I may have gone off the deep end a little because I feel like with both DH and Josh all I do is repeat myself and nothing ever changes.
DH bought me a new radio/iphone player for the kitchen. My old radio was falling apart! Mom and her boyfriend came over and gave me my birthday presents since it's on Tuesday. Almost all the presents were wine and cheese related, LOL. She also gave Josh this really neat rainbow maker that's solar powered and when it's all charged up the crystal on the bottom spins around and rainbows go around the room It's really pretty already, even though it hasn't gotten enough sun for the crystal to spin yet.
Last edited by daylilies; 05-12-2013 at 05:10 PM.
I hope you have all had a wonderful Mother's Day.
I have officially reached the point in STC where Mother's Day feels like Valentine's Day used to when I was in high school and didn't have a date. Not bittersweet, just bitter. But at least my puppy loves me and knows I am his mommy.
So here is a brief run-down of how I have spent the last 30 minutes. Sunday nights my big event is watching Mad Men. It comes on at 7:00. At 6:58, I turn the TV to the correct channel, pause the DVR, and go to the bathroom. Having planned ahead to meet my toileting needs, I go into the kitchen and get myself a bowl of potato chips. Take the potato chips out to the living room, where I have to sternly turn away an interested Rottweiler. Three firm "nos" and he backs off. So I decide to go back into the kitchen for a drink, start to walk toward the kitchen, to hear DH ask "Where are you going?" As I turn, I realize there is a large Rottweiler eating my potato chips. Yell at Rottweiler as I remove potato chips from his reach. He looks contemptuous of me. Take bowl into kitchen, where I throw away potato chips while Rottweiler watches with great interest from outside the baby gate. When DH complains that I am wasting the potato chips, explain to DH that I am not eating the potato chips, and I am not going to feed them to the Rottweiler simply because he failed to listen when I told him not to eat them. Re-fill the bowl of potato chips and get myself a glass of limeade. Go back out. Turn on my show, eat potato chips. Rottweiler is 2 feet away, watching my every move. Finish bowl. Rottweiler looks sad. Decide to reward Rottweiler for not eating the second bowl. Pause DVR again, go to shelf where we keep dog treats. Rottweiler excitedly runs into his pen (because we get him to go to his pen by rewarding him with a treat). Have to call his name to get him to realize he doesn't have to go into pen, he can just come and get the treat. Rottweiler launches himself into the air and grabs treat from my raised hand. Laugh hysterically. Go tell the whole story to DH. Hear suspicious noise in living room. Return to find Rottweiler sniffing around empty potato chip bowl, and that he has somehow changed the TV channel in his snouting around. Meaning that all the pausing I did is totally gone because it wasn't recording and now the channel has been changed. Changing it back means I will have missed 20 minutes of the show.
Good thing AMC airs Mad Men back-to-back three times in a row! Guess I'll be watching the 8:00 showing! This time without potato chips.
Last edited by Gwenn; 05-12-2013 at 08:41 PM.
Although I can't help but be excited to hear that there will be a new season of Mad Men in my future sometime!!!!!
We just finished watching The Borgias (season 2) and now we've just started watching John Adams, a 3-disc HBO series. Both are worth watching, in my opinion. The Borgias had a lot of sex and violence and intrigue in it, which might be a bad thing or a good thing, depending on who's counting.
I'll have to check out them both. I'm glad to hear it's the Borgias that was filled with sex, violence and intrigue, rather than John Adams. But who am I to say?
Mandy, I'm sorry the day is so hard on you. And sincerely hope that this is the last time it is so.
You've somehow missed your Rottie sacrificing himself for your health and well being, so your arteries wouldn't clog and such. Poor puppy!
I should say there was some brief full frontal nudity in John Adams, but it was a prelude to tarring and feathering. Not sexy, and not very violent. And Paul Giamatti just does not do it for me, despite his intellectual arguments in the statesman's role (I'm a sucker for a well-spoken man), and all the puritan garb and wigs are fairly off-putting. Hard to believe I come from a long line of protestants. The only thing that is at all appealing to me is the stark bareness of the houses. No clutter whatsoever. Just plain furniture and wood floors and a few obedient children, one of whom is destined to be a president. Not even a decoration or two.
The Borgias, on the other hand... that reminds me of my days doing historical re-creation. Beautiful hair, magnificent gowns, fabulous bodies. And the women were beautiful as well. Sigh. Utterly sumptuous.
Ack, I came back to edit to add that I cannot watch any historical piece without thinking about the presence or absence of bedbugs in the surroundings. So in the frosty New England town, I instantly thought, "Wow, no bedbugs there" and in the Italy of the Borgias, I thought about plague and bedbugs and all the other pests and pestilences there were at those times. I also have thoughts about how much people smelled and how often they washed clothes and brushed their teeth and what bathrooms were like in different time periods. I love history, but it's so hard for me to just think that everyone was the same as they are now, but just hundreds of years ago.
L, have you ever read the novel The Doomsday Book? It's filled with rats and fleas and plague germs and influenza and time-travelers from the future being totally freaked out by the experience. You'd love it. Seriously, though, the best part is how she really shows people in the 13th century as being shaped by their times, of course, with different circumstances but very real passions and emotions that are so recognizable despite the differences. Really worth the read.
Last edited by Gwenn; 05-12-2013 at 11:28 PM.
You guys are making me glad I never signed my kids up for swimming lessons...and making me wonder how Missy's been doing without me there. I miss her! She really is another child to me.
I'm heading home tomorrow. Not really ready for the cold (it was a nice 100 today in Phoenix!), but I miss my kids dearly. Rich is bringing Conner & Syd to the airport so they can give me my mother day gifts there. I wish Missy could come in & wait too.
I loved swimming lessons as a kid! I started around 3 or 4 with going in the water and mom was outside it. Mrs Mac was our teacher. I'm a floater, even as a little kid so getting me under the water was always a trick. If we do have a kid, I would like to start lessons asap. I need a suit first though. We don't have much opportunity to swim and my suit is a like 4 sizes too small.
I haven't seen the Borgias, but loved John Adams. It really brought that period of our nation's struggle to life for me. I watched it again later with DD1 and she liked it too -- it was great to show her that people like Jefferson and Washington and Adams were real people, and how they had to work to create these things we take for granted, like the Constitution. It was also a great portrait of life in that era, although a lot more realistic and not as glamorous as some of the other shows.
Ladies, apparently, Travis has been a hellion at school for the past few days. My SIL says she thinks it's just the rock n rolldom of his birthday week that's just past. I hope that's all it is. He is usually a very helpful little angel at school and saves all his devilish ways for home...what am I going to do with him if he all of a sudden just lets loose at school? Ugh. I've e-mailed his teacher for details of the naughtiness since it's just been passed to me from SIL since she picks him up for me from school. We'll see what teacher says!
Ash, hope you get to the bottom of whatever is up with Travis. Hopefully, it's just a passing blip.
I called the aquatics director, but she is conveniently out today. So, I sent her a long-winded email. Hope she calls me back.
Hope she calls you back and kisses your butt, Suja.
Ash, your interpretation of Travis' rock'n'rolldom feels right to me. And I think there's nothing wrong with letting him ride that wave for a little bit. You can deal with his naughtiness in time, but I hope whatever correction happens doesn't quash his spirit. Because I can totally relate to Travis right about now. (I'll tell that story some other time.)
And I'm all caughts up on you ladies! Phew!
Bridget, I seriously don’t understand how M can’t figure out that you’re pretty much doing an impossible task all by yourself - an unreasonable task, at the very least - and that you deserve to be celebrated for it, and not critiqued. Is he just dumb? I ask this in all seriousness, because, I mean, I don’t know him, but I feel I know you well enough to know that you’re articulate and can lay out a case for yourself. So my question really is, WTH is he not getting? He’s starting to seem like the elevator doesn’t go all the way up with him. Sorry to say.
Gretchen, what a bummer (no pun intended) for Inge that she got a fracture. How are she & R doing? I did have a near-fracture of my coccyx once when I was rollerblading in Venice Beach down a big hill straight into traffic. I threw myself down to stop myself onto rough asphalt, and I’m pretty sure my bone landed on a rock that was jutting out of the asphalt. It hurt like Aitch-EE-Double-Ell. My doctor wouldn’t xray the area because she didn’t “want to irradiate my ovaries”, and since I was still fully mobile, there was little more that she would have done anyway even if it had fractured except keep me on ice. I had it on ice for a good month. It was a bummer too, because I went to Tahiti just a few days after the accident and had to sit on a donut on the plane to keep the pressure off of it. This was pre-911, so ice packs were allowed on board the aircraft. Lots of things about that trip were uncomfortable because of my butt. So I somewhat can feel her pain. Anyway, I hope you’re able to keep up with your charges while they heal up, and that they heal up quickly.
Chrissy, welcome back. I hope you got tons and tons out of your time spent with friends. I just spent only 2 days with old friends, and – even with the depressing sight of my ailing grandma in the middle of my visit – I feel like I have a new lease on life. So I hope you’re feelin’ groovy and can hang onto that feeling for as long as possible. I tend to make music playlists for myself when I go on trips just so I will have a little something to remember them by. If you have a song from your “soundtrack” of the trip, hope you can crank it up and can catch the buzz from it.
L, blue frosting is the coolest. That is all.
Mandy, I think dogs are totally our babies. I definitely don’t think of Bodhi as my first child. And it totally stinks that Mother’s Day brings bitter feelings with it for you. I hurt for you that STC has affected you so deeply. I can’t believe I’m even suggesting this, because we would be the losers in the long run, but have you ever considered that you might need a break from APA? You’re already around children all the time at work. And then parenting, pregnancy and motherhood are inescapable topics here. I wonder what it would be like for you if you were able to step away and do something that has nothing to do with your struggle. Parenting is a very foreign concept to some folks, and they for their own reasons live contentedly without children. Maybe you should explore what their lives are like, what they’re into, and see if you can heal some of your hurt in the process. Doing something like going on a long distance hike, or going to the mountains and writing your novel... I don’t know… those are things I’d consider doing. As much as it would pain me to not see “Gwenn” pop up in the forums, if I were in your shoes, I honestly would consider immersing myself in something completely different for awhile. I'd hate to think this were true, but maybe we are part of the problem. Even if it’s just temporary, a break from us could be a way to reset your perspective and make it easier to live with your challenge day-to-day.
L, I’m glad you said you were still going to need to catch up on Mad Men. No spoilers from me then. This season is a good one! We just got rid of cable, but are trying to keep up with our shows thru, Netflix, Apple TV and the apps from each of the stations we watch. I may end up falling behind myself.
Suja, what exactly do Ninja lessons entail?
Oh, and all this talk about swim lesson incidents is giving me the chills (and “swimming with the fishes” and “drowning lessons” made me LOL in the office). We are pulling Bodhi out of swim lessons for awhile for a different reason. He’s been taking lessons with the same teacher for almost a year and a half now. This is the same teacher I’d confronted for acting coldly towards him. Anyway, he can swim, but he’s not progressing on earning stickers towards some of the skills he needs to put towards his next ribbon. When I asked his teacher about how I could work with him on earning those stickers, she replied that he can already do all the things he needs to do intermittently, but he just needs to develop more attention and focus before she awards him the stickers (presumably for being able to do the skills consistently). So I decided I’m going to pull him from her class and just let him mature a little bit, or maybe find another teacher. I don’t know. There’s something that really bothered me about her response. I had been asking her for teaching techniques to practice with him on our own, and her response just felt like a slap in the face, like “There’s nothing more I can do.” That’s the only logical conclusion, right? So if she can’t do anything more to help him with the skills, then WTH am I doing paying his swim school tuition for him to not progress?
Last edited by demigraf; 05-13-2013 at 04:44 PM.
Mylah, thanks for that message. I don't think it is you lovely ladies who are the root of my issues, although I am recently a little more selective in my responses to this thread. I get what you are saying - but really I just need to figure a few things out. My life is what it is. Kids are my business (and that will never change) so I will always be faced with issues of child development - and actually I get a lot of insight from you all as to what typical kids are like which helps me out for work as much as personally! So I don't really see myself leaving at the moment, but I can and will take some steps back when I need to. Just all of you know that if I don't respond to something in particular, don't take it personally.
I just have to come to terms with the fact that the life I planned for myself is looking very different from the life I have. But many of us have that, in different ways.
G, my partner at work, had a miserable day yesterday. She has a son and grandson, but lost her older son when he was in his 20's. Mother's Day is sad for her too - but she can't avoid it either because of her son and grandson. It is what it is, and it sucks. At least we relate with one another.