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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #40891
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    Oh, and call me bad mom of the year. I just realized last night I'm going to miss Conner's opening day I'm a bit sad about that. It's his first one ever. I told Rich to make the kids take lots of pics for me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #40892
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    Erin nice to Ďseeí you! Glad you were able to get your internet fixed!

    Bridget that is fantastic news!! I hope they get their butts in gear and get you paid ASAP.

    We donít have a dirt guy, but we do have a mulch guy. He brings up truckloads of mulch whenever we ask (speaking of which) and DH is his stucco guy DH will do repairs for him for free generally or work for cheap depending on how big the job is.

    We donít have choice in utility provider (which I think is ridiculous). Luckily we live in an area where our electric company is a cooperative. The rates are lower than most and we even get a rebate back on our bill at the end of the year depending on the organizations profit margin (usually almost a months worth of electric).

    We have a well and most of the places Iíve lived in growing up have. I couldnít imagine having to pay for water; the concept is SO foreign to me. Our garbage is relatively cheap 37ish every 3 months. Honestly they tend to get paid like once a year since I always forget to send the bill until they call me and are like ummmÖ. Were going to stop picking up your trash. Whoops

    I love to garden, er I would if I ever had time. Iíve been wanting to do something right along the front of the house for theÖ. 5+ years weíve been living there I donít even know where to start. Itís grass/weeds so Iíll have to kill them off and than under that is basically sand, so Iíll have to put in good dirt, etc. I get overwhelmed when I start getting things together to do it, so than I put it off cause I just donít have the time to invest in it like I should.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  3. #40893
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    We are remodeling the second room right now. Our plan is to move Nolan in there, since it is bigger, and put him in a toddler bed so we can use the cribe for the new baby. Though really we don't need the crib for a while since I just keep the baby in the bassinett/in the bed with me, but we want to get Nolan transitioned before than just in case it takes him time to adjust and we (meaning DH) isn't getting up with a NB and Nolan at the same time.

    The project is getting pricey. I mean, my hubs is absolutely awesome at the handy man stuff. He is a talented guy and does GREAT work and has amazing ideas - that in consequence are expensive as all get out. He is already over budget and we are not done yet. Sigh. He's so set on the room being like this awesome thing for Nolan. He's wanting to rope lights inset behind trim about 6 inches from the ceiling with a space border on top. Like this http://images.meredith.com/diy/image...CTC_150_10.jpg with this border http://www.brewsterwallcovering.com/...ts-border.aspx

    I love it and know its going to look awesome, but I think he might be going a WEE bit overboard. He's been in overdrive since I asked him what the best day to make the gender u/s would be for him. Anyways, do I have a point? No. Just babbling, carry on with your lives

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  4. #40894

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    A bunch of our neighbors use chem lawn, but there is no way in hell I'm putting a bunch of chemicals out where my kids and dog play. I'd rather it be bare dirt.
    AKA Lisa724

  5. #40895

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    I'm sorry you're going to miss Conner's opening day. Do you mean for baseball/t ball? We missed the registration for that...again...but Josh has never really asked to join so I don't think he'll miss it. He's still bugging me about karate. One of the other moms at church said she could get us a free month and uniform at a place her kids go to so I'm probably going to contact her about that again. I hope Conner has a great time!

    We we moved in there was already a raised garden bed, but it was totally overgrown and so was our grass. The woman was renting out the house to college students and she didn't take good care of the land. It was actually one of our requests that she get the lawn mowed before we moved in and she even fought us on that but we were pleasantly surprised when it was move in day and it had been mowed. So we planted grass seed, weeded the garden and rebuilt the wall around it and now our whole yard looks pretty nice.

    We don't do anything about the dandelions in the yard but we spray stuff on our driveway and path when weeds pop through. Bo doesn't go out front because there's no fence and Josh doesn't play on that side either so I don't really worry about the chemicals.

  6. #40896

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    Quote Originally Posted by MashedUp View Post
    A bunch of our neighbors use chem lawn, but there is no way in hell I'm putting a bunch of chemicals out where my kids and dog play. I'd rather it be bare dirt.
    Ditto!

  7. #40897

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    We are involved in the project of redoing our back yard to put in some grass right now. That's what dh used the excavator for the other weekend -- tearing out the 50 year old crap that was there. Then we rototilled and threw in a driveway full of compost. This weekend we used a trencher and a pickax to dig trenches and lay a sprinkler system. Yesterday I spent the whole day digging out the rest of the trenches with a hand spade while dh laid the pipes. We are seriously broken people at the moment... the manual labor is a killer. Hopefully we'll finish the sprinklers by next week so we can lay the sod. It'll be nice to have a place for the kids to walk and lie around. Lying in grass looking up at the sky is one of the best things about childhood, imo.
    And, ironically, the excavator totally killed most of the grass in the FRONT yard, so now we have to try to fix that. We put in seed but it's not doing much so far.

    Bridget, we eat dandelion leaves in salads, but for some reason I'm loathe to eat the ones that grow as weeds in our yard. I don't know why. It just seems weird somehow.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  8. #40898
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    Oh I love that border Christina! What a great theme for his room. You will have to post pictures when done too. I don't expect our nursery to be done until at least sometime in July.

    We did a lawn service one year but after that we have done it ourselves. I'm not thrilled using chemicals but I will do it. Especially the stuff to kill the ticks. I have fields on two sides of my yard and live in a heavy tick area. I would rather do chemicals and just keep the dogs off the grass for a day or two than get ticks. There are at least 3 diseases that ticks carry in my area and I know many people who have had them or their dogs have had one of them.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #40899
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    Quote Originally Posted by CamaLamaMama View Post
    Suja - I have a Dachshund and a Chihuahua. My ex tried to crate train them when we first got them. We had some success with that, but they never only went outside. When he moved out they got worse. I started over last summer with the crate and taking them out on a leash, lots of praise for going outside. I admit that once I started getting more pregnant I was too tired to stand up long enough let them go potty and they still needed me to be there with them.
    I'm back to working on it now, but sometimes keeping track of them and the kids gets to be overwhelming and the kids come first.

    I am praying I can housebreak them before Parker is mobile. If not I am prepared to find them a new home. I really would like to avoid that, Cameron loves her doggies. The Doxie and her are inseparable, it's sweet.
    Those are two tough breeds to housetrain. And potty training issues are the #1 reason small breed dogs lose their existing home. It requires A LOT of persistance and patience, not to mention, due diligence.

    In your shoes, I'd rotate the dogs, so you're only dealing with one at a time, and can focus more on it. It will take more time, but will likely be more effective in the long run. Take dog out for a short walk. Reward heavily for doing their business outside. And this should be THE BEST REWARD EVAH! Hot dogs work very well for food motivated dogs (nuke 'em after cutting them into small bits, so they're not slimy, and easy to handle). So, dog goes potty, you say 'Good potty!' and give a treat. Every once in a while (you determine the frequency), you jackpot the dog. Meaning, you give him extra treats, loving, play, whatever motivates the dog. Once the dogs are reliable outside, you can phase out the rewards. If you go out and they don't produce, they go back in the crate. My preference, when someone is home, is for them to be tethered to the human (put leash through the belt loop), but in your case, it might be difficult, or you can try attaching them to something, like furniture, that would limit their movement. The idea is to restrict their opportunity to have accidents inside. If you catch them in the act, interrupt with an 'Uh-uh', and take outside, and reward for going outside. If they have an accident, clean up with a good enzyme cleaner.

  10. #40900
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    I agree with Suja. We use Natures miracle from petsmart. I think other places carry it too though.

    With two small dogs like that, you might want to think about a litter box. It's a bit of a pain to buy litter and change it out but it is so handy to just put the dog in there instead of having to leash up and go outside. When I was training Molly, I put her in there pretty much every 20 minutes....or if I thought she might have to go (hard to tell with a beagle nose always to the ground!). Now both dogs will go on command OR will go on their own. like huh, i have to go potty and will run in there and go. I do have the box in the laundry room because sometimes they miss and at least the floor is vinyl in there.
    This is what we use http://www.doglitter.com/ We have used it since Cosmo was a baby so 9.5 years. My dogs are 25 and 33 lbs so at the top of the range of what I would put in a litter box. Smaller dogs are much easier because they pee less so it doesn't soak the liter up quite as fast.

    Now I am not sure what we will do with a baby crawling. I can close the laundry room door and only leave them access when we aren't home or at night. As it is Cosmo will mostly ask to go outside instead of using the box. Pee soaks into the litter....both girls generally will use the same spot each time so we clean that spot after a few days and rotate the stuff in back to the front. Poos need to be picked up.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #40901
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Oh I love that border Christina! What a great theme for his room. You will have to post pictures when done too. I don't expect our nursery to be done until at least sometime in July.
    Thank you! DH and I both are obsessed with the space theme. It matches the comforter I have for him almost perfectly! He's been obsessively workin on the room lately, so it might get done sooner than I anticipated. I can't wait til your nursery is done The Snoopy theme is going to be to die for, I know it!

    I am on the chemicals in the yard bandwagon. Florida = Bugs = Me spraying whatever is neccesarily to kill the fleas, ticks, ants, etc

    We have a Chihuahua (mix) and he was impossible to train. We got him as an adult from friends that moved where they couldn't have him. They couldn't find a home for him and we couldn't bare him going to a shelter (we really didn't thik anyone would adopt him, so we know what happens than....) They never appropriately trained him and at 5+ years old, DH and I failed miserably to change his ways. We crated and than walked for a while, but he kept going in the crate and I couldn't handle the smell anymore. We tried letting him go in the fenced in yard and he kept digging out Now he's on a runner, with a lifted dog house, and that's how it has to be unfortunately. We still have the crate set up in case the weather warrants him needing to come in (you know those one or two days a year that are cold here )
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 05-01-2013 at 11:06 AM.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #40902
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    Dogs that cannot be toilet trained are pretty much unadoptable. It works in their favor a little that they're small, but chances of them finding a home that will keep them is exceedingly low.

  13. #40903
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    I am utterly grumpy right now because of the tendonitis in my left wrist. Ugh. Maybe holding the plank position for 3 minutes wasn't such a good idea afterall at boot camp on Monday. I might have to revert back to swimming as much as I hate it. Swimming doesn't leave me feeling crippled. I thought exercise was supposed to be good for the body? I feel
    Like my body just says no to exercise.

  14. #40904
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    I'm going to rant a little. Next week is teacher appreciation week at Mira's school. And Monday is school supplies day. As in, we're supposed to provide the classroom with something by way of supplies. To me, this is just a way for the school to further 'cheap out' of providing stuff for the classroom, by making the parents, who already pay a hell of a lot of money, to shell out even more. Her former teacher had told me that their classroom budget is $25/month, but I'm fairly certain this one said that they don't have a budget for the classrooms anymore. How about the school actually uses some of what would be their profit to buy pencils and whatnot for the classroom? As it is, we're working with no budget on putting together International Day, and I've bought lots of supplies for decorating the classroom and crafts. We are fortunately in the position where we can afford to do this, but there are lots of parents that are cutting corners as it is to send their kids to the school. This just pisses me off.

  15. #40905
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Dogs that cannot be toilet trained are pretty much unadoptable. It works in their favor a little that they're small, but chances of them finding a home that will keep them is exceedingly low.
    Exactly. Which is why we took in the little bugger. He's not overall a bad dog though. He's really good with Nolan (we let him run loose when we are outside), but he is easily exciteable and gets nervous around too many people. We liked him well enough and couldn't handle the idea of him being put down. We kept up the search for another home for him in the beginning, but it didn't take long to see that it wasn't going to happen.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  16. #40906
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    That's the way schools seem to be going. Our classroom teacher uses so much of his own income to buy supplies for kids. We no longer have a budget for a language teacher either, so they expect teaching assistants like myself to do the language lessons. You should see me teach French. It's ridonkulous!

  17. #40907

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    I'm sorry your wrist is acting up. I don't like swimming either but I can see the appeal.

    How do you teach a language you don't know, anyway?

  18. #40908
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    How do you teach a language you don't know, anyway?
    Awkwardly. LOL

    We have a French lady who comes in for half an hour, so she does the pronunciations while I dictate the lesson. It's stressful. I hate doing it.

  19. #40909

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    I read something somewhere about how - when Martha Stewart was in prison - she collected dandelion weeds from the prison yard to put in salads so she could get the extra nutrients. It kind of endeared me to her, even though I find her so grating. Dandelion greens are a superfood for sure, but so bitter to me.

    Ash, could you just modify your plank to this? It's not only easier on the wrist, but on the shoulders as well:

    plank1.jpg

    My boss is driving me nucking futs. You can't win with her. I told her in writing that I was taking off an hour early to make up for having to join an offshore call this evening and she complained I was oversharing and that I don't need to notify her when it's just an hour here/there. Then in the next minute, she complained when I was out of the office (with my medical emergency) last week that no one knew where I was when I was hurrying on the way to the doctor and that I should have written it onto the group calendar (that I was rushing off to have a medical emergency).

    Then she reiterated that she'd like to see me "come out of my shell". I told her flat out that she makes me uncomfortable when she says that because I feel I've been myself, and her saying I need to "come out" just makes me feel like she wants me to change the person I am. She back-pedaled a bit and said, "what I mean is, sometimes we just want you to come with us to lunch, and we can never find you." That's mainly because I work out in the middle of the day. Am I supposed to change my workout routine and just let myself get (more) out of shape just to satisfy her? I told her I don't get the chance to exercise much in the mornings/evenings because I have a small child and so I take the opportunity to use the gym facilities here during my midday break. If it's a lunch I know about in advance, I'd be happy to join them. Anyway, I'm pretty sure she wasn't 100% happy with that answer. What can I do, right?

  20. #40910
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    Myles, that is the style of plank I do already. We did that and the side ones. I think it's because I held it for so long. I didn't do myself any favors. Every time I sneezed today, I felt like my abs were going to burst out of my skin. LOL.

    I can see why your boss is driving you futs. That's ridiculous what she's said. Maybe they can all join you at the gym if they are that desperate to hang with you?

  21. #40911
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Oh for Cry-Yi, as my grandfather used to say. It's one thing to socialize with your co-workers, and another thing have business lunches, but to have LACK of lunching together as a negative on your evaluations? Really, I like my co-workers a lot and I sit in the same lunch room with them at lunch time, but I will deliberately turn my back to them and get on the computer, because it's the only time during the day that I have to check my email and not have to converse or be polite. If your boss expects you to socialize regularly as part of your working there, then your lunch should not be considered your free time and that should be an expectation up front. That really chaps my hide. I don't think there is really any reason you should have to justify taking your lunch break by yourself, and I would be getting more and more annoyed if I were you and feeling more and more defensive about this amorphous personality issue that she keeps bringing up. If this is the objective performance improvement she wants to see, I would ask what exactly the expectation is for how many times lunch socialization is per week or per month, and if you need to do after-work activities as well, and when you can expect a re-evaluation of your performance. GRRRRR!


  22. #40912

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    You guys get it. Thanks for growling for me, L. This woman says some pretty outrageous things (like, she's talked smack about one of my peers, saying he's "just a kid", so basically, she'd never consider him for the open position on her team). Very unprofessional. So, anyway, I know I don't want to work for her on any permanent sort of basis. I'm just going to live up to my own performance standards and put up with the occasional snark about how I keep too much to myself (for as long as I hold out here).

    So while I'm at it, here's one more thing that came out of my productive () discussion today (feel free to gloss over; I'm just venting at this point ):

    I'm working 2 projects for the same system, developed by the same team - we'll call them Projects A and B. Project B has to be put on hold because it's not getting the approvals it needs. So anyway, the system lead person got both projects confused and asked me to confirm that they should hold off on making the code changes for Project A. It was not my mistake. I am in no way confused as to which project is on hold and which one is a go. My boss been copied on my messages about it, so she knew I'd stated it was Project B that was affected. However, because my manager saw the lead's confused e-mail asking about it, she used her blaming tone of voice with me today, as though I was the one who'd misinterpreted things and hadn't been the one to report the Project B delay to her in the first place, and she was like, "I just want to make sure you're absolutely clear on the fact that we need to move forward with Project A." Well, duh! *stomping off to growl and snarl with L now...*
    Last edited by demigraf; 05-01-2013 at 07:11 PM.

  23. #40913

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I read something somewhere about how - when Martha Stewart was in prison - she collected dandelion weeds from the prison yard to put in salads so she could get the extra nutrients. It kind of endeared me to her, even though I find her so grating. Dandelion greens are a superfood for sure, but so bitter to me.
    I am a HUGE Martha Stewart fan, something most people who know me think is crazy but I just love her for some reason. I was sooooo pissed off when they took her show off of NBC like 5 or 6 years ago and put that stupid Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb show on. Martha provides so much more information and is so much more informative IMO, she is like a robotic super woman or something and I am in envy of her "schedule" where she gets up at 5am and doesn't go to bed at until like 11pm and still looks so fresh, even though I know it is TV magic.

    She spoke about her prison experiences quite a few times on that show. I do remember her speaking of collecting dandelion for consumption. She also started a couple classes for the ladies in prison and her retelling of situations and conversations that occurred with some lady with a ghetto name like "LaShanTaNiQua" was so hilarious to me because she told them so seriously and even said something like "one young woman with the most beautiful and unique name - LaShanTaNiQua....." and went on to tell about how she (ghetto name lady) was upset about some sort of craft they were doing and how she and Martha had a conversation and worked things out was just so hilarious to me. I also remember she was speaking to one of the ladies from Desperate Housewives, the redheaded one I think, though it could have been the one who played Susan, and the housewife asked Martha as they were making something with a Kitchen Aid mixer "so Martha, what should people do at home who don't have a Kitchen Aid use to make this recipe" and Martha, being Martha said "They need to save their money and get a Kitchen Aid" lol. So cruel but I just love her for some reason. I am so happy she is back on PBS on 2 shows no less teaching about baking and emulsions. Even DH is enamored with her since I make him watch PBS cooking shows every Saturday morning.

    Myles I feel you on the silly co-worker stuff. At my new job they thought I "didn't like them" because I don't sit and eat lunch with them everyday. My boss and co-workers order out nearly every day and I have been trying to change my eating habits and especially not eat so much take out or fast food so I bring my lunch. I also don't like eating in the same general area where I work all day since I sit on my butt all day as it is, I like to get out and take in some different scenery, even if it is just in our breakroom at work and my boss and co-workers were really tripping out about my lunch habits like it was a personal insult to them so now I actually do eat with them once every other week and will be sure to tell them that me wanting to get out of the office has nothing to do with them. I want to tell them to quit being so full of themselves but that wouldn't be appropriate work behavior so I allude to that in a nicer, work-type way.

    Erin

  24. #40914

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    Erin, if you like Martha Stewart, then listen to this podcast of the NPR news quiz show, "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" where she was a guest contestant, and was pretty hilarious, although I don't know if it was intentional on her part. It's a pretty funny episode in all because I think it's a "best of" recap.

    I'm excited because I have a ticket to see the semi-live recording of the show tomorrow night. Well, it's live in Chicago, and it'll be beamed to movie theaters around the country. I actually didn't have anyone to go with so I sent a message out to my mom's club to see if anyone wanted to join, and someone I've never met before is going to meet me there. I imagine that if she likes "Wait, Wait" we're going to be best friends, but I didn't say that because I don't want to put any pressure on her or anything. ;) Only problem is, DH is out tomorrow, and my neighbor with a 3 yr old girl is going to watch B for me. And B has been throwing serious bedtime tantrums lately, the kind where I fear the neighbors will think I'm beating him because he's screaming so loud. So if he seems at all punchy when I pick him up tomorrow, I may have to pull the plug on going out. I just can't leave my neighbor to deal with B when he's like that. :/

    Bay Area mommas, btw, the activity group that I co-lead for the mom's club is going Stand-Up Paddleboarding/Kayaking in the harbor in Half Moon Bay on Sunday @11am, and maybe grabbing Cinco de Mayo margaritas afterwards. Would any of you care to join? Let me know, because I will have to reserve the kayak/board for you. They have double kayaks for families and all gear/wetsuits/lifevests even for the kids is included.

  25. #40915
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    The twins are doing a behavior/development study at Berkeley that day for one of the labs, so I can't make it. The same one that the happiness newsletter comes out of, actually. I like helping them with their research.


  26. #40916

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    How do you volunteer for studies like that? Josh and I happened to be at a children's museum a couple years ago when a group of college kids was doing a study on children. They asked Josh to be a part of it and I thought it was really interesting.

  27. #40917

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    Oh man, Myles, that sounds awesome! I'd love to go kayaking (and have always wanted to try paddleboarding). We are pretty messed-up physically at the moment though due to the yard remodel, and will be spending the weekend finishing sprinklers and laying out sod. That sounds like an awesome thing to do, though. Your moms club sounds great (and obviously having such a cool activities group leader). I couldn't even keep a playgroup going in our moms club. I want to live by you.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  28. #40918
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    Appointment this morning and we were able to confirm that the 'maybe' movement I've been feeling is definitely the baby. She wasn't able to find the heartbeat until I showed her where I thought the baby had been hanging out I think he/she was sleep, heartbeat 143

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  29. #40919
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    I don't like eating lunch with coworkers either. I do it probably 7 times a year when we got out for someone's birthday or something. I just eat really slowly and never can finish when they do and hate holding people up. And I like to read at lunch. And I really eat slowly if I'm also expected to talk.

    I also like Martha Stewart. And she has some cool craft products....I used two of her punchs while making my xmas cards this past year and thought they were pretty nice.

    I agree with her Erin, everyone should have a kitchen aid! I just last night mentioned to a friend at dinner that we generally make homemade pizza. She asked what crust we use and I was like um, flour, water, yeast, oil, salt and sugar. I said it was really easy to do and asked if she had a kitchen aid. She said no and I was like, oh then it's not as easy to do. LOL
    And I don't even have the attachments for mine and still love it.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #40920
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    Yeah Christina!!!!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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