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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #40411

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    That sounds like a fantastic trip! Just my kind of vacation right there.

    Ok, I promise to stop with all of this soon but I am tripping right now! I texted my dad to thank him yet again for driving mil to the airport for me. Get this! She told him the story about Kai! And pretty much blamed the whole incident on Kai being rude. She said, "I told Kai that I was a guest in his home and he was being very rude by asking me to leave the room that I was staying in." My dad said he just started laughing. (God I love him!) and said that it's crazy to try to "explain: something to a child when he in the midst of a tantrum. And I know he wasn't telling me everything she said but he told me that he wanted to be honest and tell me that he really let her know that the way he sees it, I am raising the kids alone and that if there is a problem it's that. That to critisize me, or the kids' behavior, is just avoiding the obvious. That he loves dbf, he's family, but he doesn't pay attention to his kids, that it's blaringly obvious to anyone that spends time with us. I was crying during this conversation because it did hurt to hear my dad say it, and the blaringly obvious bit was like a punch. Anyway, I think he was afraid I was mad but not at ALL! So glad he had my back.

    On a side, my dad often gets hooked on phrases and one liners, using the chosen one as often as he can for a period of time. His most recent is, "Awkward!" and it came in handy several times during the breakdown of their conversation. So he had me laughing through my tears.

  2. #40412
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    Awww, I just love your dad. He's a very wise man Bridget. And I'm glad he told her what's what about dbf. He may have his positives (I'd be hard pressed to list them aside from the fact that he's good looking), but being an involved father or strong SO for you aren't on the list.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #40413
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    Oh, speaking of your dbf, I saw a guy that looked just like him when I took Jesi to work yesterday. Very good looking, but when it made me think of him I was immediately turned off. lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #40414
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    Go Bridget's Dad!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #40415

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    I know. So much has been revealed to me about my dad since my mom's death. He sort of let her have the spotlight, I guess. She was very loud and assertive so I suppose that allowed him to just sit back and...let her be! lol

    The more I think about it, the more upset I feel that she would talk to my dad about any of this anyway. I mean, he's MINE, you know? That would be like me talking to dbf's sister about mil. They are super close and see each other every day so her loyalty would obviously be with her mother and I would never try to sway that. Wft? Who does that? She comes to my home where I cook for her every day and pretty much let her have free reign with my kids and my house and try SO freaking hard to be respectful and kind no matter what and she walks away carrying a grudge for Kai??? The thing about that whole exchange between her and Kai, is that after she stormed out of here, both Savana and Kai stayed shut in their rooms for almost an hour. They didn't even come out when my dad got here and they usually meet him in the driveway before he even gets all the way out of his car. I bet it was very confusing and hurtful to them to see their gma so little and have her be so clearly agitated. Poor Kai.

    Dbf keeps saying that's just his mom, it's how she is, blah blah blah and I'm thinking, I bet she doesn't get away with treating other adults like that in her life! I'm nearly 40 years old, not a child! This is my house and my family. Love it or leave it.

  6. #40416
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    Bridget, father of the year. Seriously. And clearly I'm not talking about DBF.

    And your MIL is insane. I actually am feeling sorry for poor DBF. What a childhood he must have had! It explains a lot.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #40417
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    You're right B, she was highly inappropriate, unappreciative, and tried to be catty with your dad on top of it all. She takes the cake.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #40418
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    Clearly, MIL doesn't know your dad very well. I'm glad she got schooled, although it is probably too much to hope that it would lead to some introspection.

  9. #40419
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    I have no doubt she's telling herself she knows where Bridget "gets it" from, and whatever category she has her pigeonholed in, she's also stuck her dad.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #40420
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I have no doubt she's telling herself she knows where Bridget "gets it" from, and whatever category she has her pigeonholed in, she's also stuck her dad.
    As she should! That's exactly where Bridget gets it from! He's as awesome as she is.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #40421
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Your dad is completely wonderful, Bridget, and it makes me feel so happy that he's sticking up for you like that and so sad that he needed to.


  12. #40422
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    As she should! That's exactly where Bridget gets it from! He's as awesome as she is.
    Of course! But I'm guessing her tone isn't the same as ours when she says it to herself.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #40423

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    Hahaha! She is SO refined. Gag. That was one of the things I was screaming inside my head at least daily, "For all of your refinement, you are so EFFING rude!

    Thank you all so much for listening to me whine and making me feel better.

    It is supposed to be almost 60 here today!!!! So excited about that!

  14. #40424

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    She is such a piece of work, Bridget! What a nutjob. Xtina, Glad you got to see your active little bean!!

    I want to go camping there, that sounds so fun!
    AKA Lisa724

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Awwwwww. Xtina, I'm so glad you got to see your little swimmer. Yeah, if s/he's flipping around like that, s/he's got a heartbeat.
    Definitely

    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    Hooray!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    That's wonderful!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    That is just the best news!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Awww Christina...what a great picture! Stinks not hearing a heartbeat but it must be a huge relief to see so much movement going on in there!
    Thanks ladies! Definitely made both of us feel better

    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    Christina that is great news!! yay for your little gymnast! When are you due?
    Before the tech started I told her that my cycle was kind of funky the month we found out and we were hoping to get confirmation on my DD, unfortunately our little flipper didn't allow her to get but a couple measurements (head and femur I think), so we're sticking with my 'unofficial' DD of October 19th as of now. Though after seeing the baby, compared to Nolan's U/S around the same time, I am thinking I might be a little bit farther along or this baby is just a chunk.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  16. #40426
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    B your dad sounds awesome and I am so glad that he told MIL what's what. Though, I don't know that with her attitude it'll lead to any sort of reveation about the whole situation. Honestly, if it were me, I don't think she'd be welcome to stay in my home. Family or not, gma or not, she could go stay in a hotel and come visit the kids. She has NO right to disrespect you or your home. That just makes me sad and angry for you

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  17. #40427
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    Christina, YAY for jumping bean! What a huge relief it must've been! I get the feeling that this LO is going to be keeping you on your toes.

    I was listening to NPR this morning, and heard this story: http://wamu.org/programs/morning_edi..._to_high_court It's so tragic, especially for the adoptive parents.
    Last edited by Suja; 04-16-2013 at 07:51 AM.

  18. #40428
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    It is supposed to be almost 60 here today!!!! So excited about that!

    Rub it in. It's 35 on my side of the state but we are supposed to get into the 40's. But might get some accumulating snow Friday. They were saying we have had over 73 inches of snow this year. Average would be upper 40's. I think even the twin cities has only had 50 some inches.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #40429

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    Bridget, your dad is the coolest. And now I think he should have a little talk with your DBF, I really do. He certainly handled your MIL like a pro.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Hahaha! She is SO refined. Gag. That was one of the things I was screaming inside my head at least daily, "For all of your refinement, you are so EFFING rude!
    You just reminded me of my crazy Aunt D. All the years we were growing up with her, she'd go around pronouncing this and that as "classy" or "classless". I think it's why I hate those words now. Anyway, she is the rudest woman I've ever met! One time, in my early 20s, we were in a souvenir shop on vacation, and I was trying to bargain down a price on a chess set with a shop owner who happened to be pregnant. My aunt barged into the negotiation, yelling at the woman, "Why don't you go any lower than that?!? Look at you! You're pregnant and you need the money!" I was so mortified, I stopped at whatever last price the woman had offered.

    Shelley, that place sounds heavenly! I would love to have Gilly over to play with Bodhi any time. I'm so jealous of all the mommies who recently got to go camping. My trail pack is itching to go out for a spin!

  20. #40430
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    You just reminded me of my crazy Aunt D. All the years we were growing up with her, she'd go around pronouncing this and that as "classy" or "classless". I think it's why I hate those words now. Anyway, she is the rudest woman I've ever met! One time, in my early 20s, we were in a souvenir shop on vacation, and I was trying to bargain down a price on a chess set with a shop owner who happened to be pregnant. My aunt barged into the negotiation, yelling at the woman, "Why don't you go any lower than that?!? Look at you! You're pregnant and you need the money!" I was so mortified, I stopped at whatever last price the woman had offered.
    Oh my god!!! How rude!!! I think I'd have died right there.

    I went for a little run tonight. Feeling good.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #40431

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    Oh Bridget! She sounds so horrible!

    Yay for the flippy bean, Christina! LOL

  22. #40432

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    Crazy Aunt D and mil would make a fine pair! I can't stand when people look down their noses at others. It's like, Yay you. You know all the right cutlery to put out at a dinner party. But you can't be nice so having manners doesn't mean SH!T!! The thing is, on paper we hold similar beliefs. We are both really into healthy living and concious consuming, difference being that she is digusted by fat people (her words) and I couldn't dream of thinking something so, well, disgusting. Also, we are both atheists but she thinks that religious people must be stupid (as she told my MOM, who was religious!) I think I told you guys about the first time she visited us and dbf sat down and started eating before we are all seated at the table and such. She started scolding him and I said it was fine, with the kids being young and being that we aren't a formal household, we just serve up and eat when our plate is ready. And then she said, "It's NOT fine. It's not proper and everyone knows that." I told her then that I wasn't raised like that so clearly everyone doesn't know that."
    Then she came out to dinner with my family and I when the waitress brought out only a couple of plates at a time she said to my parents, "Go ahead and start. Apparently Bridget wasn't raised to wait until everyone was served before eating." Ohhhh, SNAP!
    Luckily I had already told me mom and dad the dinner story and both of my parents tried to hide their laughter but were shaking with it. I think my dad even snorted. He still jokes to me about how he hopes she never sees our family tear into a whole baked chicken. We've been known to just get forks and dig in. I was PISSED. It's rude to start eating before everyone sits but it's not rude for her to purposely offend my parents??? Grrrr.

    I have to share this story with you guys. We went to the park this early evening and there was a family there, the two moms were sister in laws because I chatted a bit with them. Anyway, they had a mixed age group of kids from toddlers to teenagers. Most of the teenagers were being loud and crazy on the equipment (not rude so I wasn't much bothered but it does kind of bug me when big kids play on the toddler equipment but whatevs). Anyway, one child, about 14-15 was mentally handicapped in some way and was very child like. He was very enthralled with Sawyer and talking to me a lot about his baby brother. Savana and Kai were climbing on this big metal turtle structure across the park and I watched the boy go over to them and was playing with them for quite some time. I wondered if they would notice anything different about the boy and have any questions or observations. When we were driving home, this was the conversation we had.
    Kai: Mom, I thought that big boy was kidding but he was serious when he was telling us that we were hurting that turtle and we shouldn't jump on it. That's what it's for! Why did he say that?"
    Savana" Because Kai, he's not like the other big kids.
    Me: What do you think was different about him.
    Savana: I don't know. Something. He was babyish. He's the kind of boy that other big boys boss around I guess.
    Me: Were other big boys bossing him around?
    Savana: Just one that was like his brother or something. They were a family. The other big kids were being all rough and playing spies and guns and fighting with each other and that boy was just skipping along all happy. You couldn't wipe that smile off his face.
    Kai:You couldn't wipe the smile of his face even if you had a million towels
    Me: Do you think that boys brain works differently than the other big kids?
    Savana: Yeah. His brain works gently. That's what's different.

    GAHHHHHH! I couldn't possibly love them more! You think you need to explain things to them sometimes and you just don't.
    Last edited by Bridget; 04-16-2013 at 08:41 PM.

  23. #40433
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    Bridget, your kids are just so lovely. I want to give them a big hug and a kiss.

  24. #40434
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    Awww Bridget.


    OMG though about your MIL. I am going to hug mine extra tight when she gets here on Friday. Yours is lucky to have you and she doesn't even know it. I don't think I would be able to hold my tongue and not tell her off....and really I don't mind some drama online but IRL I'm not confrontational generally.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #40435

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    wow - she works to find the kindest way

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  26. #40436
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    Bridget, just when I think I've stopped crying for good (I swear, I've been nothing but happy for days and days), each and every post you do makes me cry. You are just tugging at my heartstrings.

    Christina, I'm sorry I didn't congratulate you on your flipping baby (that isn't as sarcastic as it looks). I was too distracted by all the rage I was feeling at Bridget's MIL posts. But I just knew you and your baby would be okay, even weeks ago.

    I had to pull Claire back in after she ran into the street and I put her in time out for a minute while I loaded the other kids into the car yesterday. During the drive home, she said sweetly, "Mom, I want to be just like you when I grow up." I sighed and smiled, and was going to reply, when she continued, "Only I'm going to be nicer to my children."

    So I talked to her about how I need to keep her safe and it's always been a rule that they can't go into the street. And then in a less-than-mature Mom moment when we got home, I said to her that I wished that I could have a child just like her, only one that would be nicer to me. She was totally shocked. And I told her that I loved her very much, and I said that it didn't feel very good to hear things like that, and it wasn't very nice to say that. I apologized to her. And then she apologized to me. She really is pretty good to me.


  27. #40437

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    Aww, L. I've apologized to Bodhi in the past for saying something I regretted. I'm sure she knows her mama just plain loves her and was parenting from the heart in that moment.

    Bridget, that conversation w/ Savana & Kai was precious. Savana has to have a gentle mind herself to be so perceptive.

  28. #40438
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    Ouch L! To be fair to C, I think we all intended to be 'better' than our parents and no one is perfect. lol

    B- I just love your kids too. You mil sounds like a real winner. Not.

    Work is still utter chaos and the stress is really getting to everyone. We're all upset about the same thing (Office 365 and what that means for technical staff, not to mention the users) but there's nothing we can do about it. Cornell bought it, we're stuck with it. We had a real b1tch session this morning though and some of it was angry-towards-each-other venting. As stressful as this job has been, my team has essentially remained an intact unit. I was dismayed by the conversation this morning. I hope it doesn't end up with us fighting with each other.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #40439

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    L, Sorry I made you cry! You know, one day for about an hour when Kai was in his really super sassy phase (as opposed to his sort-of sassy phase right now), I responed him in the way that he was responding to me. So if he asked for water I would scream, "NOOOOOOOO! I'M BUSY!" the same way he would scream at me if I asked him to pick up his toys. Or he brought me a picture and I screamed, "I WANTED A YELLOW ROBOT!" the way he would scream at me when I put his lunch in front of him. Luckily, he has a pretty mature sense of humor so he saw where I was going with that right away and was sort of bashfully asking me if that's how he really sounded. It worked for a minute or two lol.

    Chrissy, I too hope your team can stick together. When your job is barely tolerable, you need good co-workers.

  30. #40440
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    Oy B. Your MIL is a real piece of work. I think I would be OK with her not liking me, my religious husband, or for that matter - my FAT a$$

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post

    I went for a little run tonight. Feeling good.
    Woo! I was SO motivated to start walking this week (MW suggested since my BP is creeping up already). I even bought new shoes, but Nolan is sooo sick I can't justify sticking him in the stroller to sweat while I walk

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Yay for the flippy bean, Christina! LOL
    Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Christina, I'm sorry I didn't congratulate you on your flipping baby (that isn't as sarcastic as it looks). I was too distracted by all the rage I was feeling at Bridget's MIL posts. But I just knew you and your baby would be okay, even weeks ago.

    I had to pull Claire back in after she ran into the street and I put her in time out for a minute while I loaded the other kids into the car yesterday. During the drive home, she said sweetly, "Mom, I want to be just like you when I grow up." I sighed and smiled, and was going to reply, when she continued, "Only I'm going to be nicer to my children."

    So I talked to her about how I need to keep her safe and it's always been a rule that they can't go into the street. And then in a less-than-mature Mom moment when we got home, I said to her that I wished that I could have a child just like her, only one that would be nicer to me. She was totally shocked. And I told her that I loved her very much, and I said that it didn't feel very good to hear things like that, and it wasn't very nice to say that. I apologized to her. And then she apologized to me. She really is pretty good to me.
    Awww thanks L.

    and your convo with C - how old is she? 16?!
    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Work is still utter chaos and the stress is really getting to everyone. We're all upset about the same thing (Office 365 and what that means for technical staff, not to mention the users) but there's nothing we can do about it. Cornell bought it, we're stuck with it. We had a real b1tch session this morning though and some of it was angry-towards-each-other venting. As stressful as this job has been, my team has essentially remained an intact unit. I was dismayed by the conversation this morning. I hope it doesn't end up with us fighting with each other.
    Ugh, I am sorry it is such a mess at work! It is really hard when there is tension everywhere. We are dealing with a lot of implemented changes (on top of a new manager) so its been a bit stressful at my work as well. I know that I get a lot of excitement when I announced my pregnancy because everyone was worried I was leaving this summer after I graduated (which I intended on doing) and are happy that I'll be sticking around a litte bit longer now that we're pregnant (not exactly awesome job huting material with a baby bump).

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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