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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #40321
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    Could you taste the orange in there? I have always just done cranberry vodka and nothing else. And have never tried a slushie before. I have company coming next weekend and want to have some good drinks....we will be playing some games and one has one aspect that is charades and well that is just way fun with some drinks. Dh isn't a drinker but tends to like more "girly" drinks....I'm thinking this might something he would like as well. He doesn't like at all the brandy/diet 7ups his mom and I like to drink. And getting out the blender to make fruity drinks is a bit too much work. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Some of these look pretty tasty: http://www.marthastewart.com/274402/...il-hour#229252

    I used to make some pretty fun drinks, but I was always a fan of the mojito myself.

    I took the twins to their annual physical the other day. They started noticing how much litter there was around the hospital, and picked some up to throw away. In typical whimsy, Claire told me that she wants to spend some time this weekend doing her civic duty and making the city more beautiful by picking up garbage along the streets and sidewalks. R. chimed right in and said he wanted to do it too. So they chorused together, "Can we pick up garbage this weekend, Mom? Please, please?" I felt so weird saying that I would have to check the calendar, but I wasn't sure, and then I looked around to see if anyone thought I never let them do anything actually fun. You know, if you never go to playgrounds or play with bubbles, you might think picking up garbage on city streets is the epitome of enjoyment. Gah.


  3. #40323
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Could you taste the orange in there? I have always just done cranberry vodka and nothing else. And have never tried a slushie before. I have company coming next weekend and want to have some good drinks....we will be playing some games and one has one aspect that is charades and well that is just way fun with some drinks. Dh isn't a drinker but tends to like more "girly" drinks....I'm thinking this might something he would like as well. He doesn't like at all the brandy/diet 7ups his mom and I like to drink. And getting out the blender to make fruity drinks is a bit too much work. LOL
    Yes, you can taste the orange. What I love best about these drinks is they're not time consuming or difficult. I'd make them the day before you plan on drinking them. The recipe said to put in the freezer for 2 hours, but mine took overnight. And I used a disposable roasting pan so it would be slushy to the middle.

    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Some of these look pretty tasty: http://www.marthastewart.com/274402/...il-hour#229252

    I used to make some pretty fun drinks, but I was always a fan of the mojito myself.

    I took the twins to their annual physical the other day. They started noticing how much litter there was around the hospital, and picked some up to throw away. In typical whimsy, Claire told me that she wants to spend some time this weekend doing her civic duty and making the city more beautiful by picking up garbage along the streets and sidewalks. R. chimed right in and said he wanted to do it too. So they chorused together, "Can we pick up garbage this weekend, Mom? Please, please?" I felt so weird saying that I would have to check the calendar, but I wasn't sure, and then I looked around to see if anyone thought I never let them do anything actually fun. You know, if you never go to playgrounds or play with bubbles, you might think picking up garbage on city streets is the epitome of enjoyment. Gah.
    That's funny.

    I have to say-what a good mom. You have your young children begging to do their civic duty. I have a nearly 20 year old that I have to fight to do the dishes 3-4 times a week, and she does nothing else.

    Yesterday was payday, which also means bill day. I always pay my bills manually because I was burned badly with the auto-pay years ago. One bill 'accidentally' took out 3 payments instead of one and it took nearly 3 months to get my money back from them. I'm bad at math, as I've said a billion times, so pay/billday is always an extremely stressful day for me. I have a system and it cannot get messed with or else I will end up 900 in the hole. Don't ask how-I just do it all.the.time. So I stick to my system to avoid that.

    But when I say everything must happen in exact order, I mean everything. Like, I better not even have to go pee in the middle of paying bills or I'm f'd. Yesterday my landlord emailed me and 'kindly' offered to pick up the rent. She know when I get paid and I always pay it out of the first paycheck of the month. I think she's hurting for $ or something because for no reason she's started really hounding about it. She's asked me twice in the last 3-4 weeks if I was going to be paying today. I wasn't happy about it, but I agreed to hand her the rent check at 7 last night. That's one of those things that can wreck havoc on my billpay system. It's outside the norm. My brain simply cannot cope.

    To compound that, Rich dropped Conner off earlier than normal. He knows how I am when it comes to paying bills and usually brings him down after I'm done. He didn't even warn me. Just showed up and said, "I don't have time to visit. I have to go shopping" and left. So Conner's demanding food. My bills aren't paid and the landlord is coming. THEN-I learned I didn't have any checks in my billpay account. I only write checks for rent and how I used the last one and didn't realize it is beyond me, but that's what happened. And that bank is in Ithaca, 30 miles away. I don't know if my local bank will allow me to withdraw my rent (my billpay bank will). My local bank has a $300/day limit and i didn't know if that would apply to my Ithaca bank or not.

    Anyway, I rush out the door asking Bobbie to call and order us a pizza and write a receipt for the rent payment I'm going to be giving in cash. On a happy note, my bank did allow me to withdraw what I needed to pay the rent, but Bobbie wouldn't answer my texts about what time the pizza was supposed to be done. I even tried to write her on FB because she was commenting on my status there. I finally called her and she said it would be ready at 7. Same time the landlord was supposed to show up. fml. I'm telling ya, it doesn't sound like much, but this stuff STRESSES ME OUT on a level that I cannot articulate. I NEED to be able to sit alone, in the quiet, and just pay my bills. Period. NO distractions.

    7 rolls around and I leave the receipt Bobbie had written with the envelop of money (I counted it twice and had Bobbie double check me because that's something else I can never seem to do accurately). I told her to make sure the landlord signed the receipt and off I went to get the pizza.

    When I returned, I pulled up my street behind my landlord. She was going to the door and I saw Bobbie coming out. On the phone and empty handed. She brushed passed the landlord and told me she was going to talk to her friend. I'm carrying two pizzas and....where's the money? The receipt? I had to invite the landlord upstairs and have her wait while I got Conner a piece of pizza (he was so demanding! acting starved and everything) and found the rent on the couch. While the landlord counting the rent out (I encouraged her to), Bobbie pops back up the stairs and said, "Mom, can you grab me two slices?" I looked at her and was like NO! In the end, the landlord was paid but here's why I'm f'n irritated.

    Bobbie knows how stressed I get about bills and how much I need to be left alone to just do them. She saw me carrying the two pizzas and knew the landlord needed to be paid yet she went to chat with her friend who had pulled up in their car at the curb. She's 19 years old and didn't think she could just handle that rent transaction for me OR take the pizza's and get her brother his dinner. Nope. She's a kid herself without any responsibility whatsoever. If Mom is around, Mom can handle everything.

    I did jump her about it last night. I didn't get my bills paid or my rooms for my trip booked till after 8:30. I was exhausted and I still don't know if I ended up forgetting something or paying a bill that isn't due for 2 weeks (how I usually get myself in trouble). I told her she was self-centered and childish and still acted like she expected her mommy to take care of her. Because it's true. I cannot depend on her to help in even the most minute way. My stress level isn't even on her radar. Her friend was there and she went skipping along to chat with him/her without a care in the world.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #40324
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    I know you're not supposed to compare your kids, but I can't help it. I've had similar situations with Jesi and if Jesi had been there, she would have been on the phone with her friend, had the envelop of rent and receipt in hand, and probably would have taken the pizza's from me too. Of course I wouldn't let her, but that's Jesi. Multi-tasks and she just does things without being asked.

    I did try to talk to Bobbie as we passed each other..."Where's the rent?" "Upstairs! My friend is here!"

    Just to add to it-SHE told me when I got home she'd turned the heater off because it smelled like something was burning. As a coincidence, the smoke detector was beeping like the battery was low. I didn't have any on hand, and FORGET about me stopping somewhere to buy one last night! I pulled it. All this happened earlier. But I did point out to Bobbie that she left her 6 year old brother upstairs alone knowing full well she thought something was wrong with the heater and the smoke detector wasn't working. She also knew I'd turned it on myself to try to determine what she was talking about. I never smelled anything...but that's not the point. The point is she believed something was burning and that's why she shut it off. Then left her brother alone with it.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 04-12-2013 at 06:26 AM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #40325
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    Oh, wow, that does sound very thoughtless of Bobbie. Does she treat everyone like that or just you? I mean, is it her personality to be a little oblivious? I have to work really hard at making sure I am noticing everything around me as I can be "away with the fairies" as folks say over here, but that just sounds blatantly obvious walking past you when you were struggling with the pizzas with the landlady right behind you and Conner upstairs waiting to be fed. I wish I had some awesome advice for you, but I don't....just sympathy. I'm sorry the bills cause you so much stress. We keep ours detailed on an Excel spreadsheet and pay 90% of things by direct debit.

    I was going to sit and do a long post, but Travis has now demanded my attention. I must now go and pretend to be Peppa Pig!

  6. #40326
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    Ugg Chrissy that sounds so frustrating. I don't pay the bills at all because DH has some system and he generally does it when I'm not home because he doesn't like being interrupted either. I know he doesn't do auto bill pay either....only thing that is done that way is withdrawals for the Roth IRA and my student loans...that one gave a discount in interest rates for that and we have no intentions of paying it off early. Any extra goes to the house or the van loans.

    L that is so cute and sweet that the kids want to pick up litter!

    We were able to get the van picked up yesterday. It has a new starter. The winter storm wasn't as bad as thought and there was a break in it yesterday. Snowing again this morning though. I think that we might end up skipping spring. We should be in the 50s and some 60s right now. Not the 20s and 30s.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Chrissy, that's tough! She's old enough to know better. As it is, you've cut her a lot of slack, and it seems like the easier you are on her, the more advantage she takes.

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    Yipes, Chrissy. I have to say I don't have half the stuff you have going on, and I still have trouble sleeping at night. I have to wonder if I'd ever sleep if I had higher amounts of stress in my life. And mine is relatively low-stress. But there I go again, making it all about me.



    Bobbie does sound like she has a 1-track mind. It could be just the way her brain works, but that's still not an excuse. Maybe you should point her to the "Inconsiderate people vs. Space Cadets" thread in our forum. It seems we all came to the conclusion that inconsiderate space cadets need to try harder.

    Speaking of 1-track mind, I listened the other day to the Radiolab podcast about the musician with the 4-track mind, who could listen to 4 separate symphonies in his head and focus right in on one instrument in 1 symphony, and how he drew a visual map of the orchestras in his head to visualize the sounds he was hearing. It was fascinating. Katy & L, I've been meaning to thank you for introducing me to Radiolab. It's one of my favorite things to listen to when I'm driving or just walking.

    L, wanna bring your good citizens down to the beach on 4/20 for the Earth Day beach clean-up, sponsored by the beach coalition? There's something very satifying about walking around in the sand with your kid shouting "Cigarette butt!" whenever he spots one. If it's a windy day, there's a high likelihood you'll be chasing your garbage bag down the beach, though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Oh, wow, that does sound very thoughtless of Bobbie. Does she treat everyone like that or just you? I mean, is it her personality to be a little oblivious? I have to work really hard at making sure I am noticing everything around me as I can be "away with the fairies" as folks say over here, but that just sounds blatantly obvious walking past you when you were struggling with the pizzas with the landlady right behind you and Conner upstairs waiting to be fed. I wish I had some awesome advice for you, but I don't....just sympathy. I'm sorry the bills cause you so much stress. We keep ours detailed on an Excel spreadsheet and pay 90% of things by direct debit.

    I was going to sit and do a long post, but Travis has now demanded my attention. I must now go and pretend to be Peppa Pig!
    I think on some level she is a bit more oblivious than her sisters, however it's particularly apparent in regards to me. In her mind, I am Mom. I have no feelings. I do not get stressed; I'm just a b!tch who likes to complain a lot. The concept that I might have feelings always seems to astound her. And then she retorts with, "Well, you're the one that decided to have kids!"

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Yipes, Chrissy. I have to say I don't have half the stuff you have going on, and I still have trouble sleeping at night. I have to wonder if I'd ever sleep if I had higher amounts of stress in my life. And mine is relatively low-stress. But there I go again, making it all about me.



    Bobbie does sound like she has a 1-track mind. It could be just the way her brain works, but that's still not an excuse. Maybe you should point her to the "Inconsiderate people vs. Space Cadets" thread in our forum. It seems we all came to the conclusion that inconsiderate space cadets need to try harder.
    Maybe that is why I don't sleep And you can go ahead and make it about you any time you want to because it always makes me feel better. I don't want everything to always be about me either. Although, I am taking the 10 minutes of my lunch that I have left to talk some more about myself.

    I would share that thread, but I don't want her getting curious and poking around and wind up here.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Grrrr, Chrissy. That would have me very upset. I am so sorry she treats you that way.

    I am just home from my tooth extraction. It's ugly. And it hurts.

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    Chrissy, could you reply back to the well you decided to have kids with...well you are NOT a kid anymore. It is just unacceptable for her to treat you like that. A mom isn't a personal slave.


    Bridget. Can you take any pain killers or no because of nursing? How long until the new bionic one gets put in?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #40332

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    I'm going to avoid the narcotics both because of breastfeeding and just because I avoid them in general. Not very conducive to keeping the house running! I don't know about the new tooth. I have to go back in 4 months to see if the bone regrew(?) at all. Apparently there was a lot more bone loss than they originally thought and if this doesn't take then we are going to have to take bone from somewhere else to replace. *shudder*

  13. #40333

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I would share that thread, but I don't want her getting curious and poking around and wind up here.
    Cut and paste it.

    Bobbie does sound like she has a case of special snowflake syndrome. Maybe you should point her to that link, at least.

    Bridget, for enduring the extraction and dealing with it without painkillers. I'd think you deserved a little bit of bourbon or something to deal with the pain. Maybe you can have shot or two after the kids go to bed and do a pump-and-dump?

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    Ha! Myles, I will being having a stiff one or two. My dad texted me to see how I was doing and I said, "Liquor diet for the next 24 hrs. Or did they say liquid? Eh, I heard what I heard."
    I don't pump and dump either when I have 2 drinks. He'll sleep for a few hours.

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    I was wondering if you could at least have a drink. I love that liquor diet. I think that they said liquor and not liquid too.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Aw, Bridget. That really sucks. I hope your liquor diet helps a little bit.


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    Dbf and mil took the older kids out for sushi so at least I get a little rest. Sawyer is easy when it's just us. I also realize in my earlier post that when I said, "He'll sleep for a few hours", it may have sounded like I meant he'd sleep for a few hours if I got liquored up so I wanted to clarify that is not what I meant! lol
    The pain has actually subsided quite a bit with just the ibuprofen so I think I will manage just fine. It's just so ugly, I don't like to look in the mirror!

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    Just wanted to pop in and say have a good weekend ladies!!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Dbf and mil took the older kids out for sushi so at least I get a little rest. Sawyer is easy when it's just us. I also realize in my earlier post that when I said, "He'll sleep for a few hours", it may have sounded like I meant he'd sleep for a few hours if I got liquored up so I wanted to clarify that is not what I meant! lol
    LOL!! it kinda read that way at first.

    Have a good weekend yourself, Xtina!

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    Thanks, Christina! You have a good weekend, too!

    We're supposed to have good weather this weekend, so I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow is a free day for us, and wehave a birthday party to go to on Sunday.

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    I am just so sick of my kid being the only one that acts like she's being skinned alive, and all she's really doing is sitting around, watching the other kids have fun She just cried and pitched a fit, and the other kids were having SO much fun. This is after we went there to watch on Tuesday, and she cried when I told her she couldn't partiipate and it was time for us to leave. I've done nothing but talk about it for a whole entire week, and she told me that she'll try to listen to her teacher and have fun, and then of course, she just has to have a meltdown. And I had bought all these special little treats for her; I guess I'll save them for when she's 40, and finally decides that her life doesn't suck quite so much.

    You have a relaxing weekend, Christina.

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    Gah, Suja. She really reminds me of Savana. She wanted to dance so I signed her up and it was freaking nightmare. We'd talk about it all week and then when we went, just as she was to be walking into her class, she'd fall out and panic. Are you signed up already paid? I feel your pain.

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    Yeah, it's all paid for. It's through the parks department, so it has to be paid up front. I honestly thought that once she saw what the other kids were doing, she would have fun, but nope. It's like this for every darn thing though, and I'm just so tired of it all. It would be so much easier to just sit at home and do nothing, and I don't even know why I bother to try any more. Given how this is going, I can pretty well predict that her next swim class is giong to be loads of fun. This is the first time it's not a 'mommy and me' type of class (which she also had to be cajoled into, but ended up loving), and I specifically did it because this was the only one that would let us stay and play after the class is over. It's a no-win situation. If I choose the mommy and me, she'll have a fit after the class is over, because she can't stay and play. If I do choose the one that will allow that, she will pitch a fit in class and won't participate. Like I said, I should just give up and sit at home.

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    I just started 'Raising your spirited child' and started crying. It's like she has a camera installed in this house.

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    That book helped me a lot.

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    Would you ladies who have read the 'spirited child' book recommend it for a teacher? I wonder if it's something I should put on my reading list because I'm sure I'll have some little firecrackers when I get my own classroom before too long.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I guess I'll save them for when she's 40, and finally decides that her life doesn't suck quite so much.
    I don't know. Judging by me and DH, that may not be the best time to have a 'life doesn't suck so much' reward. Maybe around 30-something?

    Suja, whenever S. starts getting really awful, I try to remind myself of that article that said preschoolers who are very dramatic tend to be more emotionally mature in elementary school than most. And I can tell you that I can't imagine S. taking classes without a parent. Sometimes he is great, and sometimes he clings to me, and that is even at places where he knows everyone. He tends to be really gung-ho about joining activities--like yesterday, we went to a picnic in the park near the twins' grade school, and everyone was doing a tug-of-war. S. jumped right in there with the 5th graders and got knocked down and dragged with the rope a couple of times, but he still did it. He thinks he's a big kid. Still, in a formal setting, with a teacher talking to them, he might feel really shy. He sometimes hides behind me when I point out a mutual friend and ask him to say hi.


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    It's kind of frustrating, and I'm still fuming from yesterday. Do you know that she is the only kid in class that cries and clings to me at drop off time? And that includes the new kid that started last week. I feel like we must be doing something wrong for her to be that way. Or that we should be doing things differently, because what we're doing is clearly not working.

  29. #40349

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    Suja, Savana was always the only one too. Still is on occassion but we try to push through and learn from each experience. On the plus side, she's perfectly lovely in every other way. Some things about our children we just can't change so we have to accept it. I used to cry all the way home from dance, along with her, as she promised through her tears she would do it next time.

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    L, I can see how that would be true, about dramatic kids being more mature later. I already see Josh being very mature about some things. Have you all seen that video by Pink and Nate Ruess from fun.? Josh came up with an elaborate, mature story about the video and the song and it made me cry.

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