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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #40261
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    I feel kind of dumb for living right outside Chicago and not knowing about the schools closing. Maybe I need to watch the news more or something.

    Bridget - I am similar to your mil with the noise but wouldn't expect someone to cater to me in order to help me. I can't even get my own house quiet. LoL

    L - I hope that you are doing a little better today. I would recommend taking something. I know I have a point where trying to work it out myself just becomes too overwhleming. I am glad that you had some time to decompress today.

    Mandy - I have no idea what I would have done without the care that I consider to be "Cadillac" at our school. Cameron has made huge improvements in the last two years and may even no longer need an IEP.

    Also, thanks Mandy for your thoughts. I am trying to keep myself together. Having both kids at home with me has been crazy. I don't think I'm single mom material. I am exhausted! Parker is eating every two hours so he will gain some weight. Then I went back to work and keeping up with everything is a lot. I am considering placing my dogs into a new home because I just can't care for them the way they are used to. I'm also looking into a new job because I think I need to be somewhere that people aren't constantly asking me assinine questions about Nathaniel. I could probably benefit from a visit to my therapist here and there but who has the time? I'm trying to get myself into a routine I can manage and maintain.

    Kate I meant to say that Cam is a lot like josh and sometimes I have to hold my tongue because she is so sensitive over things that I find incredibly stupid. But I'm not 6. I've gotta look at who I'm talking to. Or more accurately, talking at, since she never seems to hear me.

  2. #40262
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    I honestly feel the same way. I've considered seeing a therapist and just can't justify the time it would take out of my working day. I have X amount of work to do and Y amount of time to get it done. Time off means bringing work home. And that would interfere with my random websurfing time. Which would be a tragedy.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #40263
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    Bridget, hand MIL some earplugs, and ask her to deal. She's an adult. She can start acting like one.

    I took Mira to the martial arts place to pick up her uniform. First, she wasn't willing to go, was mopey, and had to be carried. There was a toddler class going on, and she watched, and then cried about wanting to go there with the other kids, and doing the running, jumping, etc. Now, we are back to not wanting to go. The reason being that she doesn't want to wear the uniform; they should have those things in pink and purple, with glitter, sequins, and a few bows or something. Coming on top of refusing to wear denim this morning (that she had picked out last night), acting like she has never been in her classroom before, and a myriad of other tantrums, I kind of lost it. I told her that if she doesn't want to go to school, her ninja class, her swimming class, etc. I'm going to unenroll her, and she can sit at home while everyone else gets to have a good time. Anyway, we seem to have come to a compromise about Friday's class, but I can pretty much guarantee that there will be more tantrums then.

    I am this close to just saying to heck with it all, and running away to meditate in the Himalayas. It has been one of those days.

    Oh, and I think we know what is going on with her frequent urination. Yeast infection. I started treating it externally, and will call the doctor tomorrow. The doc had checked yesterday morning, and everything was fine. But, it doesn't explain why she can hold it just fine during the day, and go every 30 seconds at night. I'm wondering if it is something positional, that lying down somehow makes the urge worse.
    Last edited by Suja; 04-09-2013 at 10:59 PM.

  4. #40264

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    L, I'm glad to hear that your day off did you some good, and was productive. I am a little annoyed at my own MD right now, so I am all for getting a new one.

    Bridget, I don't know who bothers me more - your neighbor, who really screwed things up for you, or your MIL who apparently gets a case of the vapors if she even comes with 5 ft of a child speaking at a typical volume. I'm not really clear on why she's there then. I'd presumed it was there to spend time with her grandchildren (since I assume your DBF is on the road?), but if she's acting like they're a nuisance right in front of them, then why come and visit at all? Don't suppose you could slip her a Unisom or Tylenol PM to help her get some zzzzzzs??

    Erin, it's nice to hear from you. I agree with Mandy. You're probably exactly the mama that Ky needs.

    Gwenn, the story about your school sounds like it could be the subject of an investigative report. I'm sure all this "dirt" you could dish on them would raise more than a few eyebrows if the public got wind of their callousness towards the very people they're supposed to be helping.

  5. #40265

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    And I just posted a question "out there" in the general Secular area. I was going to ask it in here - just curious about the subject and am interested in your thoughts - but I've been liking the banter outside this thread, so I've released the question into the wild.

  6. #40266
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    G suggested that I contact the teacher's union. The problem is, they aren't doing anything illegal or in violation of the consensus agreement. Just callous and in questionable ethical and managerial judgment. But what's new about that?

    Suja, I am so sorry for all the meltdowns. I can really relate (a tiny bit, at least). This morning, after a long, sleepless, and infuriated night, I wound up with a kiddo who completely and toally shut down when I tried to deal with him (he's Mira's age pretty much exactly). He talks fine - I heard him use 3-4 word sentences and some rather advanced vocabulary talking to his mother - and the problem isn't social skills either. He just.plain.didn't. want to talk to me. He was very hard to understand - but he's so young that I really, really have to justfify qualifying a child his age to work on speech sounds. And he wouldn't open his mouth long enough that I could determine any sort of pattern or need for intervention. And the mother is sitting here asking me to evalute him and tell her what I think!

    Couldn't even get the kid to point to his nose when I asked (again, something laughably easy as compared to what would be his observed skill set). Even the magic "say this word and I'll blow bubbles and you can pop them" - a trick that works on 99.999999999% of children I know - did nothing.

    Maybe he and Mira could have a play date. Could you imagine?

    So of course, after having my ego completely trampled on last night, I come in to work to find the one kid all year that I just have to hold up my hands and say, "I have no idea what is going on with this kid." That really strokes the ego.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #40267
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    Mandy, you've run into a version of my neighbor's daughter. To hear mom describe it, she went and sat there, just stared at the SLP, and said nothing. For weeks on end. Finally, they just decided to troubleshoot the problem based on mom's observations (not being able to pronounce certain sounds - kangaroo came out tandaroo). She totally worked on it at home, and was fine.

  8. #40268
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    That's called fronting. We have a word for it. And it is within the developmental norm until three years and three months. Any earlier and I wouldn't even recommend therapy for it. Depending on how old the neighbor's daughter is.

    Honestly, that was exactly what I was thinking about the whole thing. So if I qualify him - what is he going to do for the poor speech pathologist who has to work with him? And asking the parent/insurance/school district to pay for that? Not much point IMHO. But of course this kid has an Early Intervention SLP and of course he works just FINE for her.

    I seriously ended up sending the mother home with a copy of a test and asking her to get his current, familiar SLP to do it. I have NEVER had to resort to that. EVER.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  9. #40269
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    She was older, Mandy. I want to say 4 or 5 (she is 13 now).

    Can you call his EI SLP? Maybe it was a month before he started talking to him/her. If he has one already, why are you seeing him?

  10. #40270
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    Because he ages out of EI when he turns three. We do a transition and have to evaluate to establish eligibility.

    He qualified for EI because at two years, he had no words. Now at 2;9 he talks in 4-word sentences - so EI worked. What qualified him in the first place isn't an issue now. But now mom is concerned that no one understands him. Even his father, apparently, needs her to interpret.

    I don't think that's all that unusual at two, though? A mom who spends more time with the child understands him while dad doesn't get it all?

    We have all her reports, but they were done back when he was 2;0 and nonverbal. So they don't much apply to the current situation. He sees her tomorrow, supposedly, so I'll get feedback from mom and the SLP after that visit. But I still need to make my own observations. Argh.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 04-09-2013 at 11:34 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #40271

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    How frustrating to have tried every trick in the book, and not have one if them work. I'm sorry that brought your day down even more, Mandy. You don 't need this right now. :/ Do the EI's reports show whether he was cooperative in the beginning off the bat for her? I'm hoping he just has to warm up to you, will be better rested, and next visit will be more productive.

  12. #40272
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    Actually the report showed him with good expressive language (what he said) and low receptive language (what he understands). This is highly, highly unusual. And nine times out of ten means you couldn't accurately assess receptive because when you told him to do something ... He didn't do it. Most kids understand as well as they talk, or if there is a difference, they understand more than what they will say. If you really don't understand ... How do you learn to talk at all?

    I suspect he was doing this all along. Who knows, maybe he never really needed EI given the gains he has made.

    Unless you have Autism. Then all that goes out the window.

    Oh, and it's a one shot deal. Second time is all about paperwork and finding a school site that works. We have to have the assessment completed prior to that.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 04-10-2013 at 01:10 AM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #40273
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    L, I am glad that you are feeling better. It made me smile that J was looking after you and having you watch some tv. We have just recently switched doctors as well as our previous one was useless. I felt like I had to Google stuff to diagnose myself before talking to him.

    Myles, I'm going to check out your other thread.

  14. #40274
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    Mandy,

    That sounds exactly like Cameron. We had TWO DAYS of evaluation with the special education district for our county and she didn't speak until the last 10 minutes. The poor speech pathologist didn't know what to do. She followed the instructions for the other testing, but sat mute through it all. Of course she never stopped talking at home. I felt terrible that it was so difficult to get her to talk!

  15. #40275
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    Big hugs, Lydia. I hope you can get to a place where you feel more balanced. It sounds like you are doing so much all the time on no sleep and finally all systems gave out and forced you to take a break. Is there anything in your budget for sitter to come once a week or once every two weeks to take the kids to the park or just SOMETHING so you have some time to be still and quiet? I worry about you. I'm appalled that your doctor refused to prescribe anti-depressants. I hope you can find someone who will help.
    L, please do get a new GP. I too was appalled to read yours refused to prescribe you something. Do any of your specialists have any recommendations for who might be a good GP to see?

    I'm so glad your husband forced you to relax some. You really needed that. I think you need a day like that every week. What about a mother's helper? I'm worried about you.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #40276

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    Oh L, I'm glad your DH was helpful. I hope you feel much better really soon.

    This morning Josh woke me up at 6:30 (I usually encourage him to stay in bed until 7) already dressed and said "Mom I want you to get dressed too so we don't have to stop what we're doing later to get dressed." Then he didn't want to do anything with me. We found a couple nature shows to watch. I am just not usually up for anything too demanding first thing in the morning.

    Also, last night he came into my room crying. It took me a minute to wake up-I must have thought the crying was part of a dream or something. Anyway, he didn't know why he was crying so I laid with him in his bed for a few minutes and he fell back asleep.

  17. #40277

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    Kate, it sounds like you had a pretty intense morning! Are you tired from it all (I'd be)? I hope you're having a restful morning after all that.

    You guys, I have to share my silly warm & fuzzy feeling this morning. We'd already filed our taxes thru our tax lady of 4 yrs, and ours are pretty complex because of our rental property set-up and DH's business. And since this year was the first that he was filing under his LLC, we paid double what we normally paid her to do our personal income taxes and the taxes for his business. Anyway, last Sat, I found an additional 1099 income form that I'd forgotten about. So when I found the form, I got this sinking feeling that I was going to have to pay her a bunch to re-do at least our personal taxes all over again and send in the amendment. I sent her a copy of the form I'd found, and crossed my fingers that it wasn't going to be a huge expense to re-do. She wrote me back today and said there was only going to be a relatively small amendment fee, and she was going to waive it because she saw that I'd given her company a 5 star review on Yelp!

    Wow. That sounds even sillier to be so happy about it when I write it out like that. I was just so touched that she was going to waive the fee (and I guess relieved that it wasn't going to be a huge expense all over again). I told her I was going to insist on paying the amendment fee and almost signed off my e-mail with "Hugs". That would have been a little excessive, wouldn't it?

  18. #40278
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    I'm so behind... It doesn't take long in here!

    L, I am so so glad that your DH (for lack of a better term) forced you to have some down time. I know that you needed it and I hope it was just the thing to help you recharge a bit I also agree with Chrissy, a mothers helper sounds like a fantastic idea!

    I think that is really sweet of your tax lady! People really appreciate it when you give positive reviews, they are so rare in the customer service area. 9.5/10 it is negatively based, not positive.

    Our school system makes me sad, it really does. Education is lacking, severely. My Highschool was labeled a 'D' school when I graduated, quite depressing. I keep hoping that I can get Nolan into our local Charter school. I can not afford it by any stretch of the imagination, but they do 'lottery drawings' every year and I keep hoping we'll get lucky. The Elementary school we are zoned for, I adore, but beyond that the middle/high schools in this area are awful. Ultimately I want to move anyway, if I can convince my husband, we'll be doing that in the coming years.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  19. #40279

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    Christina, you turned out a smart cookie, though. So even with a bleh kind of high-school, you can still break past the limitations. Anyway, high school is a long way off. You might move before then. Or maybe they'll have invented the "PhD in a pill" by the time Nolan gets to middle school.

    OK, I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this link or this one. So I'm giving them both to y'all. You're welcome.

  20. #40280
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    Thanks! Though, speaking honestly, I never really tried that hard in school. Grade school and my associates were annoyingly easy. My bachelors has been more straining, more due to time restrictions than being academically challenging (though a few classes have been challenging).

    I always feel like such a snob when I say that. I don't generally mention it. I feel like I'm given too much credit for my accomplishments though and feel guilty.

    and "PhD in a pill"

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  21. #40281
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    OMG Myles....I'm thinking about sharing that first link with my boss.

    I had a fun morning. Went to leave for work after we got 2.7 inches of snow last night and my van wouldn't start. DH was able to bring me in so he had the fun of calling AAA. Turns out not the battery so van was towed to the dealer. I have since talked to them and a bolt was not totally tight on the starter so they are replacing the starter. Part isn't one they have so it will not be done until tomorrow. I probably will not pick it up until Friday I think. Mostly because we are under a WINTER storm warning....and they are predicting 4-12 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow. Of course the van is the much better snow car....get more than 6 inches and the pt cruiser isn't that great in snow. 8 inches and it will not be able to get out of our subdivision. Good chance I might need to take a PTO day tomorrow.
    My van is 7 months old with about 3500 miles on it. This is the second time something really uncommon has happened to him. And we are supposed to be taking the van on a road trip next month. I really really really love my van.....I just wish we had gotten a different one that didn't have issues.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #40282

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    OMG Myles! I am gagging at my desk at the first link! And I saw the second one the other day and laughed my a$$ off. Poodles! HA!
    AKA Lisa724

  23. #40283
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    Just reading the title on the eel one was enough for me. No way am I gonna play it!!

    I made a boo boo. I thought Conner's tball was asking for volunteers on Saturdays from 12-12:30 to open things up at the concession stand. I sorta thought that was late, but it's been a few years since my girls played softball and maybe things changed. I immediately wrote back saying I could do it. She quickly responded with "great! Thanks" and when I reread the initial message, it said "from open until 12-12:30 every Saturday"

    I am not a morning person. I love sleeping in on Saturdays & Sundays more than anything else in this life. I'm afraid it's going to be 8:00 a.m. or something and yes, that will be a nightmare for me. I thought briefly (like for 2 hours!) about writing back and explaining that initially I'd thought she meant just 12-12:30 and due to 'other obligations' (er, sleeping in!) I wouldn't be able to after all. But-I can't. I want to be a part of Conner's tball experience. I loved volunteering at the concession stand when the girls played. I'm making a tremendous sacrifice.

    Anyway, Little League doesn't last very long. Right?!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #40284
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    Oh, Chrissy. Better you than me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Oh, Chrissy. Better you than me.
    children make us crazy. I'd never do this for anyone else. I'm sure I'll regret it and b1tch in my head a lot about it during, but once it's over we'll both have happy memories. He'll never know how much I hate getting up those mornings...unless later he puts it together how much mommy loves sleeping in on Saturdays. But likely not!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #40286

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    It wasn't bad, Myles. I don't mind sleeping in his bed actually. I used to do it a lot when he was young especially for naps. I kind of miss it. As far as the early rising went, he's always up between 6 and 7. He can get up at 7 at the latest to be ready at 8:20 for the bus because he really likes to take his time!

    Those links...I'm going to pass on the eel story too. I did see the one about the ferrets and it made me LOL. They don't even look like dogs! Did you guys see the one about the dog that was shaved to look like a lion? People thought it actually was a lion, except it's cub sized and it has a full grown lion's mane, so...

  27. #40287
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    I wish Conner would sleep with me again.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #40288

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    When Josh came in our room crying I tried to pull him into our bed but he resisted. I'd rather sleep in our bed with him because he only has a twin size. But I'm short, so it works.
    Oh, DH says Josh came into our room crying at a different time that night and that DH went and slept with him too! I must have slept right through that because I don't remember a thing. I said, No...I took him into his room. And DH kept insisting that he did. It was very strange until we realized there must have been two different events.
    Last edited by daylilies; 04-10-2013 at 09:36 PM.

  29. #40289
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    DD came into our room last night crying and said she couldn't go back to sleep in her bed, so she slept with us, but she is terrible to sleep with. I let her sleep on me from midnight until 3 AM, but she had her elbow in my throat most of the time, except when she was turned and had her chin in my shoulder or her knee in my pelvis. I love love love snuggling with her, but at night she is all angles and motions.


  30. #40290
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    So...would I be insane to apply for a job on the Apache reservation? It would mean a move. To a reservation. Like, a real one. And a pay cut.

    Balanced against one of the most beautiful areas in the state, snow, and a much lower cost of living. And a much more laid back way of life!

    Would anyone consider that?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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