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Thread: Secular Confessions

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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I took the twins on a bus ride about a year ago. DH wouldn't go. He shuddered and asked "WHY?!" But they really wanted to go. They learned a lot of new words that day. Luckily they didn't remember them. We transfered down by San Pablo Avenue where you can buy a lot of illegal stuff for not a lot of money. They had to use the bathroom when there wasn't one nearby. It was quite an adventure. They loved it.


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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    I took the twins on a bus ride about a year ago. DH wouldn't go. He shuddered and asked "WHY?!" But they really wanted to go. They learned a lot of new words that day. Luckily they didn't remember them. We transfered down by San Pablo Avenue where you can buy a lot of illegal stuff for not a lot of money. They had to use the bathroom when there wasn't one nearby. It was quite an adventure. They loved it.


    I'm getting the 404 occasionally too.

    Your mother in law sounds thoughtless.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Thanks Lydia, I forgot I know a thing or two about cooking, too. LOL I made a gravy tonight, actually. I made chicken meatballs and we had turkey gravy but no chicken gravy. I have jars of beef and chicken "better than bouillon" that I use to make gravies if I don't have stock on hand. You just add a teaspoon per cup of water and you have broth and you make the gravy from there. I do take a lot of short cuts. Sometimes I feel like a bad cook for not making everything from scratch, and I totally could, because I have the time, but with DH getting home from work so close to dinner sometimes I just don't have the ability to plan out everything from scratch if he calls and he's 20 minutes from home. When he's home early I tend to make nicer things, and I'll be able to do that more often now because his schedule is changing to the earlier shift, so he'll be home to have dinner with us.

    You know how I mentioned things were really bad between us-well I've noticed he's trying which is interesting because I was honestly thinking of leaving if things were still bad in a few months. Now he's trying and we'll see how long it lasts.

    I get the 404 error, but it still has all the tabs at the top of the page including one for the forums. I click that and it errors but if I click it again I can get in. IDK, I don't visit the rest of the APA site besides the forums, so maybe I'm using a different way from you all.

    I hate how the paragraph breaks go away if I edit a post!
    Last edited by daylilies; 03-11-2013 at 04:34 PM.

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    I receive emails when someone responds to this thread. I click that link and get the error. Go back to email and the 2nd time it works.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    DH is watching a Rottweiler puppy episode of the Dog Whisperer (I know, I know, I don't like him, either). I'm actually pleased to note that M is SO much better behaved than these puppies. We have been doing a thing or two right with him. I can see if we hadn't started early to train him not to bite, he would be totally out of control now.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I know we discussed this before, and I get why his show is kinda hokey...but I'm not sure I understand the intense dislike of Cesar Milan himself. I can't help but think he must know something of what he speaks of, since he has so many former strays of varying breeds all running around in 1 fenced in area. That cannot be an easy task to accomplish.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I read some articles about him when I was looking for puppy training books. The general consensus is that there are gentler techniques to use that are easier on both dog and owner and less risk of harm to a novice dog trainer if they backfire and the dog doesn't like what the owner is doing and decides to bite/hurt the person.

    He gets results, though - nobody argues with that. It's pretty much the spanking vs. positive behavior support argument, but with dogs. Not quite that extreme, but you get the idea.

    I don't think everything he does is bad - but he does have a tendency to lead with dominance rather than to shape behavior in a more positive way.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    http://www.urbandawgs.com/luescher_millan.html

    Millan's techniques are almost exclusively based on two techniques: Flooding and positive punishment. In flooding, an animal is exposed to a fear (or aggression) evoking stimulus and prevented from leaving the situation, until it stops reacting. To take a human example: arachnophobia would be treated by locking a person into a closet, releasing hundreds of spiders into that closet, and keeping the door shut until the person stops reacting. The person might be cured by that, but also might be severely disturbed and would have gone through an excessive amount of stress. Flooding has therefore always been considered a risky and cruel method of treatment.
    Most of the theoretical explanations that Millan gives regarding causes of the behavior problems are wrong. Not one of these dogs had any issue with dominance. Not one of these dogs wanted to control their owners. What he was right about was that calmness and consistency are extremely important, but they don't make the presented methods appropriate or justifiable.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I read some articles about him when I was looking for puppy training books. The general consensus is that there are gentler techniques to use that are easier on both dog and owner and less risk of harm to a novice dog trainer if they backfire and the dog doesn't like what the owner is doing and decides to bite/hurt the person.

    He gets results, though - nobody argues with that. It's pretty much the spanking vs. positive behavior support argument, but with dogs. Not quite that extreme, but you get the idea.

    I don't think everything he does is bad - but he does have a tendency to lead with dominance rather than to shape behavior in a more positive way.
    Interesting....maybe shaping behavior in a more positive way is nearly impossible with an older dog that's already established bad behaviors/dominance issues?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #39370

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    I get the 404 error the first time I click my bookmark, and the second time it goes through. What a weird problem.

    Ashley, that is so sweet about T! So glad he's in an upswing behaviorally. I love it when those things seem to click. Your weekend sounds so nice.

    DD1 thinks it's great fun to ride the bus, the train -- pretty much all public transport. Since she's been taking the bus over the bridge into the city occasionally to visit dh at work, and N's gone with me to take her to the bus stop, now N really wants to ride the bus sometime too. I think it's a fun adventure.

    I remember once when dd1 was 8 or 9, we were in the city and taking muni (the subway, not the bus). It was crowded, and I ushered her onto the train and then a man pushed on between us, and directly after him the doors started to close. I freaked out, tried to keep them open, and people on the train tried to push the emergency open button, but it didn't work and the doors shut ... taking my 8 year old child away on the subway in downtown SF without me. I was terrified! Luckily, the next train was in 5 minutes. I jumped on and hoped frantically that dd had been smart enough to get off at the next stop. When we pulled up, I saw her standing there waiting for me with a grin on her face. Took years off my life, but she was so proud to have ridden all by herself.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


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    Josh loves to ride the train. He still talks about the day two years ago when we went to see Joey McIntyre perform in Boston (it was a quick, outdoor thing) and we took the train in. He fussed almost the whole time we were there but he still talks about it fondly! <p><p>

    Speaking of dogs, does anyone know how to get a dog to stop "giving kisses" (ie licking our faces)? DH really hates it. I don't love it either but I can put up with it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Interesting....maybe shaping behavior in a more positive way is nearly impossible with an older dog that's already established bad behaviors/dominance issues?
    Harder, of course, but I certainly wouldn't say impossible. And as the Vet who wrote that article said, a lot of times the issues Cesar says are dominance issues aren't.

    It's not so different from preschoolers. Usually what people call bad behaviors is really something else. Getting to the root of the matter makes a lot more sense than asserting your "dominance" over the child. And it seems like preschool teachers try that one, too, unfortunately.

    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    I remember once when dd1 was 8 or 9, we were in the city and taking muni (the subway, not the bus). It was crowded, and I ushered her onto the train and then a man pushed on between us, and directly after him the doors started to close. I freaked out, tried to keep them open, and people on the train tried to push the emergency open button, but it didn't work and the doors shut ... taking my 8 year old child away on the subway in downtown SF without me. I was terrified! Luckily, the next train was in 5 minutes. I jumped on and hoped frantically that dd had been smart enough to get off at the next stop. When we pulled up, I saw her standing there waiting for me with a grin on her face. Took years off my life, but she was so proud to have ridden all by herself.
    Oh, how terrifying! I can't even imagine.

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Josh loves to ride the train. He still talks about the day two years ago when we went to see Joey McIntyre perform in Boston (it was a quick, outdoor thing) and we took the train in. He fussed almost the whole time we were there but he still talks about it fondly! <p><p>

    Speaking of dogs, does anyone know how to get a dog to stop "giving kisses" (ie licking our faces)? DH really hates it. I don't love it either but I can put up with it.
    We've been working so hard to teach "no biting" that when he licks instead I'll take it. It's getting annoying, though. I'm going to have to tackle this one soon, too, so any tips would help.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post

    I remember once when dd1 was 8 or 9, we were in the city and taking muni (the subway, not the bus). It was crowded, and I ushered her onto the train and then a man pushed on between us, and directly after him the doors started to close. I freaked out, tried to keep them open, and people on the train tried to push the emergency open button, but it didn't work and the doors shut ... taking my 8 year old child away on the subway in downtown SF without me. I was terrified! Luckily, the next train was in 5 minutes. I jumped on and hoped frantically that dd had been smart enough to get off at the next stop. When we pulled up, I saw her standing there waiting for me with a grin on her face. Took years off my life, but she was so proud to have ridden all by herself.
    Oh dear god, I can only imagine how you died a little inside when those doors shut and the train started to take off. That really was smart of her to get off at the next stop.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Don't put your face in their face. Can't lick something they cannot reach. And eventually they do learn with enough no's who they can kiss and cannot. Cosmo learned that quickly but even she will try to sneak a kiss on others. Not my mom though...she hates that. Molly is learning that but she's half beagle and that side of her is strong and tends to make her a lot more stubborn and persistent than Cosmo.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    How do you stop a Rottweiler whose head is at the level of your waist from licking your hands, arms, pants, socks, shoes, shirt, etc? I can't remove my body from his reach without locking him out of the room! And when I'm sitting down, there isn't an inch of me he can't reach.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Ok got me there. I see that cute little guy in your siggie and forget he's a monster now. LOL That works a little better with Bo (who is closer in size to my girls) than your big boy! Though really just saying no eventually works. MIL's old springer was OCD with licking.....everyone except me. I hated it because he had a big sloppy tongue and I only like licking from my babies. he would try and I just always said no and pushed his head gently away or removed what I could (my hand/arm usually). That dog had a screw loss because he was always a strange one and we swear he was OCD....we used to call him sir-licks-a-lot.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I was reading these comments to DH and he suggested I cover myself from head to toe with Sriracha hot sauce. Although I'm not so sure even that will work!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I've seen spritz-bottle stuff that is supposed to prohibit dogs from chewing furniture...wonder if that would work for licking if you spritzed yourself? If I'm not confusing it with something else, it's supposed to smell like bitter apple. Or maybe it was taste? I think you should test it out.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Honestly, I do think Puppy has a bit of an oral fixation. He knows he shouldn't bite, but he still wants to so desperately. Licking really is a replacement behavior for him, and if I let him lick long enough, he will still mouth. I'm not used to a 90lb 7 month old. Not sure, but he's likely still teething.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I've seen spritz-bottle stuff that is supposed to prohibit dogs from chewing furniture...wonder if that would work for licking if you spritzed yourself? If I'm not confusing it with something else, it's supposed to smell like bitter apple. Or maybe it was taste? I think you should test it out.
    You and DH are thinking on the same lines. He suggested bitter apple first.

    I can just see myself at work. "Oh, do you have a new perfume?"
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    <p>
    <p>
    Technically, you wouldn't need to wear it at work. Unless you're having issues with someone there licking you too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Whoa--are paragraphs working now?

    Can we edit our siggys?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post

    <p>
    <p>
    Technically, you wouldn't need to wear it at work. Unless you're having issues with someone there licking you too.
    No! I was just thinking of getting out the door in the morning!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I've tried that kind of stuff with my cats to stop them from chewing plants. The frequency of reapplication made it so I couldn't keep up with it.

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    ^^ automatic paragraphs!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Whoa--are paragraphs working now?

    Can we edit our siggys?
    Some features seem to be back, and others aren't. I noticed smileys and text editing are back up.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    No! I was just thinking of getting out the door in the morning!


    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    I've tried that kind of stuff with my cats to stop them from chewing plants. The frequency of reapplication made it so I couldn't keep up with it.
    Oh wow...it must evaporate?

    Multiquote is even working! Oh, happy day!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I was reading these comments to DH and he suggested I cover myself from head to toe with Sriracha hot sauce. Although I'm not so sure even that will work!
    Unless your dh is a bit of a freak, you'll have a hard time getting that loving feeling from him after the Sriracha dousing. Hot sauce is hell on mucous membranes.

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    This is primarily for L, but anyone who wants to jump in, please do.

    I'm kind of freaking myself out. We keep M's pen in our living room near the front door, and DH has it anchored with kettle bells to keep puppy from pushing the pen all over the house (Nero did that as a puppy - pushed his pen, with him inside it, through a doorway, reached a pair of DH's pants with his wallet inside, and ate $30 out of his wallet! so we worry). DH came home from his NG weekend last night and M really missed him. He was waiting at the door and I could hear DH talking to his friend who dropped him off, but he didn't come in so I went to the door to check if he had his key. M flipped the heck out with excitement, and knocked over a kettle bell, which landed on my leg.

    I have an enormous bruise - seriously, several inches across and it sticks out about an inch from the rest of my leg. Hurts badly, feels like a burn.

    As you may or may not know, my cousin died at age 24 from a pulmonary embolism, and shortly before she died she was moving and her dad dropped the end of a couch on her leg and she had a horrific bruise.

    So I'm freaking the heck out that I'm going to have a PE. I took a low-dose aspirin this morning. Will one daily pill for the next couple of weeks be enough? Should I take more? Something else? Call my doctor? Part of me suspects (knows) I'm being irrational but I just can't help but worry.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 03-11-2013 at 09:30 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Unless your dh is a bit of a freak, you'll have a hard time getting that loving feeling from him after the Sriracha dousing. Hot sauce is hell on mucous membranes.
    Unfortunately, that wouldn't change much - but point taken.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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