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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #39271
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    Oh, how I love S.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #39272

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    Ah, S, enjoy this time, when you can be so painfully blunt and not get slapped... When you're 20 and tell your GF that, you may just regret it!

    I can't say much, though, we play a game where we tell Maiya we want her "little one xyz" and she can have our big one. It's a game my dad and I used to play, now they play it a lot, and I play a little with her.

    For example:

    I want your little one belly, you can have my big belly!
    No, the little belly is mine, you have the big one!

    So... I'm setting her up for failure, haha. But no worse than my dad did with me...



  3. #39273

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    L, that's so funny. I love that he really knew what he wanted to say and insisted on it. That's a good quality.
    I got that while sharing a shower once from I when she was around 5. I mean, to her, my butt probably did seem really big. It was right at eye level.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  4. #39274

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    LOL, Lydia. If you name a kid after Kierkegaard, he's bound to one day try to illustrate that "truth is subjectivity".


    My "big butt outing" came in a stall at Casa de Fruta (a roadside farm w/ a restaurant and kiddie rides) on our way back from LA one weekend. Bodhi and I had waited in a long line to use the toilet, and there was still a long line out the door, when Bodhi screamed out "Mommy, why is your butt so fat?!?" I think he'd heard it from some older kid at school (another reason I'm glad we're picking him up earlier nowadays...before the big kids show up for the after school program) and was just repeating it to amuse himself, because, as much as I carry extra poundage on the top half of my frame, my butt is rather on the small/flat side. Still, I noticed more than a few women smirking and checking out my ass as we washed our hands.

    Can I also just say there isn't an uneducated one in this bunch. Every single one of you has downright startled me with an insight at some point or another. I love this group. You ladies stretch me.

    On the topic of writing, I used to be a "writer" too. At least I fancied myself one. I wrote for a couple years out of college for The Berkeley Guides travel guidebooks. Then later, I did indie film reviews for a free weekly in SoCal called Campus Circle, edited an IT newsletter called "Techtalk", and had a humor/local politics column in the local magazine of the town where our house is. The column was called "A Mylah Minute". Mostly, what I called "being a writer" meant journaling a lot and having a lot of writer friends who read a lot, tried to be witty with words and made a lot of writer-ly observations. Two old writer friends reconnected with me via FB last month, literally within two consecutive days, and both asked me if I still wrote. (I love when "to write" is used as an intransitive verb). They both said they strongly remembered me as a writer. That sounded so odd to me because I realized I no longer self-identify as a writer, when I guess it used to be a big part of who I was back in the day. Maybe it's the hundreds of pages of dry technical specs I've written over the last 15(!) years, but i just son't have the urge to write anythin anymore. I told them both all about you guys, though - how I write freestyle to this amazing group of women who share at least one very similar outlook, and I'm not just writing, I'm really talking to them about life and exchanging ideas. It dawned on me that our little kabal in here has served as my outlet as a writer too. Know what they both said when I told them about you ladies? They were jealous that I had you to talk to. Please take that as the compliment it is. They both recognized how rare and special this group is.

  5. #39275

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    Oh, also, Gretchen, I meant to say that I can totally relate to having your religious mom in the house to put you on the spot and make withering comments from a place of judgment you don't even subscribe to. It's so maddening! I'm sorry that she lied, though. That must have felt like a serious betrayal.

  6. #39276

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    Ah, S. Hopefully he realizes sooner than later that telling a woman she has a big butt will rarely end well!

    I hope it didn't seem like I was trying to score compliments. I think technically, I probably have the least formal education. If I dare say I have any regrets it's that I didn't yearn for knowledge. School was just something I had to get through. I did the minimum. It's part of why I feel so passionate now about finding exciting ways to teach my own kids. All that said, thank you Kate and Chrissy, for your kind words. I couldn't agree more in that I have been learning so much from all of you since we started this net. I feel very lucky to have you all in my pocket to offer insights about life. Speaking of insights, I MISS ERIN!

    Sawyer had a very rough night. I really hope he's better today. His cough is just wearing him out. And I am going to need some sleep eventually here. I'm trying to figure out how I am going to Kai to his karate class today since he has already missed a week and he loves it so much. Dbf is home but apparently it's really important to him that he goes snowmobiling today. When I even approached the idea of him helping me out with this situation, he was very put out. Mmmhmmm.

  7. #39277
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    Yes, where the heck has Erin been? The only thing I've thought seriously about writing, and by seriously, I mean not really...is an autobiography. Mostly regarding my childhood and mother. It could have been a Lifetime movie before they started only playing movies where people die. Sorta on the subject of cancer, did you realize that the new guidelines say women only need paps every 3 years, and after 30 or 35 (can't remember, too lazy to Google) only every 5? I was a bit taken aback by that, but when I researched it, it does seem to be the trend in European countries as well. Since they're doing it, and do most medical things way better than we do, I figured that was ok. It still makes me nervous and I have no doubt the insurance industry here really pushed for that, but whatever. It is what it is. I skipped 5 years myself. But what totally freaked me out is my last pap at Planned Parenthood in early Oct 2012 came back abnormal. They told me to return in a year. When I returned in February 2013 their guidelines had changed and they told me I wasn't due for 2 more years, even though my last pap was abnormal! I nearly freaked...I got very anxious but I was insistent that they were going to do one right now, darnnit! I told them I wasn't waiting 2 more years to see if it was just a fluky abnormality, or if something serious was brewing. The NP did 'allow' me to have it done since my insurance still covers 1 every year, but she warned me that would likely change. I was prepared to pay full expense, out of pocket. No way was I going to wait 3 years after an abnormal pap. But I thought about it---what if I didn't have insurance or the money to pay, AND if something had been seriously wrong? My last one came back normal, as I really expected it to, but there's always the chance that there are precancerous cells. They really want women to 3 years? THREE YEARS? It blows my mind.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #39278
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    uh...I used the < p > (without spaces) and I still have no paragraphs? wtf?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #39279

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    Bridget ... if I could teleport, I'd be on your doorstep this morning asking to have a few words with your dbf. Grrrrr.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  10. #39280
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Sawyer had a very rough night. I really hope he's better today. His cough is just wearing him out. And I am going to need some sleep eventually here. I'm trying to figure out how I am going to Kai to his karate class today since he has already missed a week and he loves it so much. Dbf is home but apparently it's really important to him that he goes snowmobiling today. When I even approached the idea of him helping me out with this situation, he was very put out. Mmmhmmm.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #39281
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    Oh Bridget! I don't know how you can stand it!

    Yesterday, we got home from the playground, and found a giant box, a belated birthday gift for Mira. An easel/activity center type thing ( http://www.amazon.com/Step2-Flip-Doo...esk+with+stool) Thing is, she already has one, so now we have to figure out how to return this. The kicker - the niece who was here a couple of weeks ago on her college tour, and stayed with us for a week? She was the one who told her parents that Mira definitely does not have one. Teenagers!

  12. #39282
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    Chrissy yes definitely some countries started using evidence based medicine/practice before we did. Especially the UK and Australia. When they started with the yearly screenings, it was just a number that was pulled out of their butts. Come to find out through research that yearly isn't really necessary for most cases. Though I agree with you that I would want an abnormal one still rechecked. The crazy thing is that they still think we should go in for an annual exam, including a pelvic. But yeah I don't do that yearly. For a couple of years I had them up in my business way too often.

    Janet I don't know if this helps or not but I didn't feel at all different after the trigger shots. So hopefully the fatigue is a good sign!
    I hated that feeling you described Mandy. I am in the same way, I want an education and I got it. I wanted to be married and found my DH. I wanted a house and had it built. I want a puppy and go out and find one. But this is the one thing that I have not been able to get when I really wanted it and tried for it. I just cannot handle the roller coaster of STC.....even now I have not much interest in getting together with DH because if we do, I cannot help but think just maybe. It's easier when I know there is absolutely zero chance. Even though I know really, it's not happened once in 6 or 7 years that I have been off birth control...still is a tiny hope since we are unexplained IF.

    So snowmobiling cannot be worked around his kid's karate? OMG.

    Definitely I have learned some things too in here and changed perspectives. I mean without you all I wouldn't be going for cloth diapers.

    Bridget, I would limit audiobooks. To me they are basically almost the same as watching TV. It's not even close to actually reading books alone or together...and all the learning that occurs with those activities. But I also admit that I am NOT a fan of audiobooks. They are popular in my library and I have tried some but really dislike them. My boss loves them in the car when we travel to another site or conference and it drives me crazy. I would rather just listen to some music. I do believe that once the weather is better though that she would play outside more.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #39283
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    Suja....still thinking about that house? How much snow are you supposed to get? I saw that the fed govt is shut down today for the snow. Gosh it's rare that we do that here! Would have to be expecting closer to 2 feet for that I think. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #39284
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    DH is away (we'll see if he can return today), so we haven't talked about it, but the house is worth a second visit. We'll probably go this weekend to take another look, and if something doesn't hit the market in the next few days, we'll likely make an offer.

    There are issues with the house for sure. The yard is a lot smaller than I was hoping for, it sits off a fairly busy street, there is no hardscaping to speak of, there is something going on with the sun room/one of the bedrooms, where they have their own wall unit for heating/cooling, and there does not appear to be any unfinished "junk" space in the basement.

    I think we're supposed to get something like 7 or 8 inches. We shut down for like 1/4" of snow, so this is not a surprise. Thing is that people here tend to be transient, so a lot of them have no idea how to drive in rain, never mind snow. Plus, we don't have the resources necessary for clearing the streets efficiently, and lose power at the drop of a hat.

  15. #39285

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    Love the butt story--I've gotten comments on that too. I know I'm getting fat and lately Josh has said things like "Oh, you're so big!" He's truthful and I understand that and I always try to point out that it's not nice to talk about how people look because everyone looks different.

  16. #39286
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    Mylah, I actually have thought that I'm expending so much of my "writing energy" in this room that maybe I'm just not feeling a need to be expressing myself in other ways. Maybe you are feeling that too!

    That and the technical reports. I agree, after writing six nearly identical speech reports a week it just starts to lose its charm.

    I will confess, though - my dad published a science textbook when I was five years old. He dedicated it to my mom, my siblings, and I. I got such a thrill seeing my name in print that I have had a goal of getting a book published with my name on the front ever since. That's my deep dark secret! Well, one of them. ;)

    And I also confess - I bought a bag of Friskies today. Don't plan to make a habit of it, but money is tight and it is SO cheap. I still bought blue for the dogs, though. I hate to say it, but Vampire Kitty is something of a second-class citizen around here. Sad to say.

    Oh, yeah, and I MISS ERIN, TOO!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  17. #39287
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    Is Friskies THAT bad? I mean she seems to really love it and is healthy enough right? My parents tried blue and their boys didn't like it that much. I had mine taste it and Cosmo didn't like it. So I have stuck with the taste of the wild. But there, I tried the fish flavor and Cosmo actually spit it out. She takes after me and momma doesn't like fish either! Molly ate it but Molly will eat poo...and even there I could tell she didn't like it much. So I went back to the fowl version. They both seem to like it and Cosmo wags her tail while eating (that is just too much coordination for molly LOL). But they don't love it so much that they gorge on it. They are cute when eating, I just fill the dish and most of the time it is full (only will fill twice a day) or has some in it. when one eats, the other often does and they take turns eating. One is getting food while the other chews what she just got.
    I think my sister would put her dog above the cat too and she loves both of them.

    Awww, that is sweet Mandy! DH did that in thesis too (though only copy that others can see is at UW-Milwaukee where we did grad school). I remember getting really annoyed that he thanked not only me, his fiance and his mom which I could see but also his grandma.....that bugged me. It wasn't like she paid for school or did anything to support him other than say go to school. And at that point, grandma and I didn't like each other.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #39288
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    It's not so much that she is a cat, as that she and I are definitely not feeling bonded. Cosette was an amazing cat and has set a pretty high standard, and if VK doesn't develop some socialization skills I don't see her really being part of the family.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #39289
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    My dogs definitely prefer Blue over other brands we have tried, but they've made it clear they don't care for fish. We rotate between favors but I don't buy fish flavor because they just don't like it. They'll eat it, though.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #39290

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Molly ate it but Molly will eat poo...and even there I could tell she didn't like it much.
    Hahahahahaha. Just spit out milk laughing.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  21. #39291
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    That was pretty funny!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #39292

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    Last night JoJo pointed out to me that my boobs were not only big but kind of hanging down, too. Thanks.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  23. #39293

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    Friskies and the other store brands of cat food are usually a lot of carbs and filler sprayed on the outside with fats to make them seem yummy and meaty to the cat. There really is a huge difference, but cats being what they are I am sure that anything will do.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  24. #39294

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    double post
    Last edited by girlwonder; 03-06-2013 at 09:01 PM.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  25. #39295

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    We have to buy expensive cat food or Pawprint' s farts will clear a room. For real. Even Sawyer would gag and he was just a baby.

  26. #39296
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    Conner tells me my butt is big all the time and I'm a size 6 at 5'8" My butt is big compared to his and his sisters maybe, but I'm a grown woman so it doesn't really bother me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #39297
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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlru View Post
    Hahahahahaha. Just spit out milk laughing.
    Crazy thing is I am serious! It's so disgusting. We have tried everything and hoped it was a puppy thing but she is almost 1.5 yrs old! Just when we think it's done, bam we catch her snacking again. Never her own, only Cosmo's. Of course we try to limit access and clean up after Cosmo right away but both girls do use a doggie litter box (and both will go outside). So Cosmo sneaks in there and we didn't see her, sometimes Molly finds it first. She gets in trouble and I think that she knows it's not good....but I guess the lure of it is too much and she is a stubborn little thing. We told her she has sh*tty taste. Saw online that pumpkin and pineapple is supposed to make it taste awful (not that it's good tasting to begin with????)....but Cosmo didn't like either. In fact she got some pumpkin in her mouth and went to her water dish and actually washed her mouth out!

    In case you were wondering, Cosmo is the black and white dog. She is 9 and pretty much perfect. I call her momma's princess because she is a very girly girl and super clingy to me....acts a lot like Lady from Lady and the Tramp. She is a cocker poodle mix. Molly is the brown white and she's a beagle poodle mix. We call her Poogle. She is more a goofball and really a pretty good dog minus a few flaws we are still working on. But cute personality. I joke that they could be a disney movie....The Princess and the Poogle. LOL
    Last edited by Cosmosmom; 03-06-2013 at 09:34 PM.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  28. #39298
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    Well pretty sure that I have y'all beat in the big butt department. So if mine says it's big and I have hanging boobs, nothing to do but agree. It is big and they do hang being DDD's. LOL But of course I remember thinking my mom was REALLY old. I was 12 already when she was 34 and I no longer think of 34 as old at all! Kids have such a different perspective of reality. Remember being little and a week felt like such a long time.....a week goes by so quickly now.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #39299
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    Mira doesn't comment on my butt generally. She does want to know if she can have big nipples when she's a big girl.

    I think that she caught a stomach virus. It was only a matter of time, really. It has been going around for weeks, and the assistant in her classroom was sick yesterday. There was puke on the bed, the carpet, the bathroom floor, my clothes, her clothes... pretty much everywhere except the sink.

  30. #39300

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    oh no! i hope she feels better soon. I hope that you don't catch it too. Wash hands all the time!!!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


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