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Thread: Secular Confessions

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    So ... Question. Have any of you ever seen a depressed three-year-old? In the absence of a major incident such as a death in the family?
    No. But, if it is physiological, then it should be possible at any age.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    So *that* is what set it off! I totally missed it, and I'm normally part of the grammar police. Half the people don't even know there is a difference between percentage and percentile.
    I know lots of people don't know the difference. What struck me about this thread was that no one used the terms correctly, and one of the posters I know was a pre-med major from other posts I've seen her make. She should know what a percentile is.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    No. But, if it is physiological, then it should be possible at any age.
    I'm concerned about abuse but have absolutely nothing to stand on in stating that. Just a gut feeling (my partner has the same gut feeling).
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I know I don't have a degree, but I did study psychology/sociology and worked in that environment for many years and never saw that at that age without some underlying issue. I was depressed at 3, but that was when my mother first went psychotic. There was a reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I know I don't have a degree, but I did study psychology/sociology and worked in that environment for many years and never saw that at that age without some underlying issue. I was depressed at 3, but that was when my mother first went psychotic. There was a reason.
    That's kind of my experience, too, Chrissy. I don't want to share anymore in here, though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Maybe I went off and became a lying con-artist. Stranger things have happened. .
    Perhaps if you had done so, you would not have this issue:
    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Ugh-I just want to have one aspect of my life that doesn't have any ick in it.
    Pepper, I totally get feeling all angsty about the bible comment. I still remember an event from over 20 years ago, when a group of guys pushed themselves into my apartment that I shared with a girlfriend, despite being told we didn't want their company. We ended up leaving them out in the living room, where they drank our alcohol and hung out for too long, and we went into the kitchen and talked passive-aggressively about how we wished they would leave. Eventually they left, and said sarcastically, "Thanks for being SUCH great hostesses." I felt really terrible about that, and realized that I was a bad hostess. Even after talking to myself over and over again and reminding myself that they essentially were halfway between unwelcome guests and a home invasion, and had no business asking for any courtesy except a straightforward, "Leave or I'll call the police," I still couldn't bring myself to stop ruminating on the comment.

    Things like that have happened a couple more times. Not similar incidents (thank goodness I've gotten more assertive), but similar in that something completely ridiculous derails my sense of self-respect and I go around and around in a morass of wondering why I couldn't have been more whatever, except that I'm not whatever, so why did that person accuse me of whatever? Luckily my DH stops me after the first few sentences and tells me that the whole exercise is futile and I should just stop thinking about it, and I try really hard and often if I can stop dwelling on it soon enough, it doesn't stick with me long term.

    I'd better post this before I lose it.


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    Hmmm...excellent point L. Maybe I should reassess my values in life and consider the con artist lifestyle.

    I've found myself stuck like that too...that whole thing with learning about my grandfather's death on FB, and yeah I did rant strongly about it on FB as well, but my cousin tried to turn it around that I felt guilty and that's what my post was really about. Um, no, I didn't feel one bit of guilt at all, but that comment still stuck a little and I wasted energy it didn't deserve thinking about it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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    Umm, you all still love me even if I have grammar issues? I actually did know that it was supposed to be one space and not two after a period though. I mix up than and then I think a lot...I mean I know the difference but just don't think sometimes. I also know a percentage vs percentile. But I'm sure that I make a lot of grammar mistakes. I was actually never taught much in the way of grammar. It seemed like every year the teacher thought we learned it the previous year. Just sort of the basics I learned until I took French class. LOL
    I am not a fan of formal writing. Thank god I had Dh in college to correct my papers for me. It was one of the bigger reasons I didn't go for the PhD like I was thinking....I just do not enjoy writing papers. And the funny part, I HATE citations. I mean I HATE doing citations with a passion. All the stupid punctuation in the right places....omg I almost always lost points on my bib page. Course as a librarian I now use citations daily. LOL I just don't have to write them. So annoyed that the new version of word that formats citations for you came out my last semester of grad school.

    My parents were in town over the weekend too. I love my parents dearly but it is a bit tiring to have them around. they are really good parents BUT my mom especially I think has to bite her tongue a bit. She is used to be the boss and is opinionated. And generally thinks her way is the best way. Which I do agree that she tends to be right more than not and DH and I are very similar in lifestyle to them. So I was showing her some stuff I had gotten and really thought she was going to say cloth diapers are stupid and that is too much work. I did get instead, oh people can make those and I saw the material at the store....I had thought about them for you but decided it was too much work. Ok so that went better than I thought. But she did tell me I am buying too much baby stuff and that I am going to jinx it. Ugggg. I mean you don't tell the lady that is 8 months pg that she better not buy stuff or she might jinx a healthy labor and delivery. She thinks we should wait for a match....even though there are still generally 1-3 months for things to go wrong and fall through. I mean I have absolutely NO reason to believe that we will not eventually get a match if we are patient. The agency has a long and good rep. They match their birth moms with their birth families and provide counseling. Their fees and when fees are paid are ethical. They limit the number of families they have waiting at any given time. And when a safe haven baby comes up, the family waiting longest in that region is asked first. Dh and I have a nice home, college degrees (they say birth moms tend to value education), long stable relationship, and we are cool enough. The one downfall is weight....but a LOT of the waiting families have weight issues and it's not so bad that it affects our health or lifestyles. but yeah my buying diapers and some things for the room is going to jinx us.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Awww, Jennifer that was in sensitive of her. My mother's side of the family can be quite superstitious and I could see them saying something like that.

    I loved it when I switched to my computer degree. Everything was written matter of fact, no personality, no passive voice. Very 'staccato' sounding. Like a robot, actually...It's carried over and I'm afraid it makes me sound witchier than I really am, especially if I'm trying to make a point and keep emotion out of it. It's just BAM, BAM, BAM with no tact. I can rub people the wrong way. I can probably cause the grammar police to have a seizure. lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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    Pepperlu, as far as the Bible comment - my mother is very involved in her church. She participates in a bible study and a prayer group and a book club and volunteers in her church library regularly. And I know for a fact that she doesn't own a concordance. So even if your mother had presented that accurately - that you didn't have a concordance, rather than you didn't have a Bible - it still would have been just as ridiculous as what she did say.

    I actually try hard to stay away from the grammar police (although I did have a slip-up with calendaring!) I know a lot of brilliant people who don't spell or type well, and linguistics really emphasizes the differences between prescriptive grammar (telling people what to say, which is what grammar teachers do) and descriptive grammar (describing what people say, which is what linguists do). Descriptive grammar is a lot more useful to me in my daily life. So I do try to stay out of the grammar-police stuff, especially for casual writing on forums (fora, if you are a prescriptive grammarian), but I actually am hypercritical when I read professional reports. I figure those people need to know what they are doing and if they don't, I don't trust their findings.

    That %ile comment has been brewing for several years now, though, and I just couldn't hold it in any longer.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 03-04-2013 at 08:25 PM.
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    I agree, if it's a professional document, it should be written correctly. When it comes to FB or here, I'm not worried about my grammar at all. Only marginally about my spelling. I do cringe when I read back what I wrote previously and see I've misspelled something, and once I actually used the wrong their/there. I couldn't believe it!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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    If a child is inoculated against whooping cough, can they still get it?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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    I think there is a time limit on the effectiveness, but I thought it was 10 years? And I think it's possible to get a mild case of something you have been vaccinated against.
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    Oh I don't think that my mom was meaning to be insensitive or anything. It's just how she is. And I know that once we get that call, she would do anything for us. Let's see if I can do paragraphs yet without HTML.don't even know what a concordance is. I mean isn't a bible a bible? LOL OMG I like to check the news but am so sick of all the pope stuff. Chrissy yes it is still possible but it's much less likely and if so it should be a much milder case. Not sure what limits are on current ones but I know that the one we got as kids they found wears off.....it's why DH and I got new tdaps in September....we knew we could have an infant at any time and wanted to make sure that we wouldn't be passing it on. Actually my Dh got all the vaccines as a kid...and still ended up with a mild case of measles and a mild case of mumps. He is just gifted that way.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I think there is a time limit on the effectiveness, but I thought it was 10 years? And I think it's possible to get a mild case of something you have been vaccinated against.
    It's going around at school and Conner was just vaccinated prior to starting school, but Rich says he has a cough so bad he can't catch his breath. Since I'm not there, I'm worrying. i told Rich to call me if it gets any worse.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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    Oh Jennifer, I didn't think she was being insensitive on purpose. I know myself, I've said things that later I thought were insensitive...without meaning to. I would imagine she'd say that with the best intentions towards you. Of course she wants you to have a baby! I'm betting she's as anxious as you are. It's hard for me, way over here, to watch you wait so patiently sometimes. I do wish I could just give you one...not that you'd want my nutty genes, but you know what I mean.

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    Jennifer, a concordance is like a Bible reference book. It lists passages under different themes and you can cross-check where certain concepts appear. So I wouldn't call it a Bible exactly.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I've never heard of one either.

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    O.M.G. - This is too funny.

    When we acquired Vampire Kitty, she came with a bag of dry cat food (Friskies) and a big case of canned food. We switched out her food and put the Friskies in the cabinet as an emergency stash. Yes, I know you're supposed to mix it...I didn't. Okay, moving on.

    DH was just looking through the cabinet where we keep the cat's dry food and the rest of the pet stuff. He found the Friskies bag, which had been in the back of the lower shelf, ripped open and empty.

    Little bugger! She's been sneaking back there and eating Friskies! She eats the Blue, too, but perhaps that explains why she never seemed to eat very much...
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Oh that's too funny! The sneak! Now that it's gone, I wonder if she's going to feel like she's starving? Little bugger!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    For Chrissy:

    Effectiveness of the Vaccine

    The DTaP vaccine is 95% effective in preventing all three diseases that it immunizes againstódiphtheria, tetanus and pertussis. It is 59-89% effective in preventing pertussis, while the protection rates for diphtheria and tetanus are higher. Pertussis occasionally occurs in children who have received the pertussis immunization, but it is less severe and has fewer complications.

    From http://www.immunizationinfo.org/vacc...whooping-cough

    So yes, you can get it if you have had the vaccine.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 03-04-2013 at 11:51 PM. Reason: Added *&^%!@ paragraphs


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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I know lots of people don't know the difference. What struck me about this thread was that no one used the terms correctly, and one of the posters I know was a pre-med major from other posts I've seen her make. She should know what a percentile is.
    I tend to get uptight about some grammatical things, but that one didn't bother me so much, mostly because I knew what they meant and because %ile looks strange in conversational typing, as opposed to journal papers. But then I had to go back to the thread and try to pick which one was most likely to be the pre-med major, and I couldn't.

    Have you ever heard the podcast Grammar Girl? I've only heard it a few times, but there was an interesting discussion about how to change one's grammar style to fit into one's surroundings. She wasn't saying to not be inaccurate, or dumb down, or to not be true to yourself, but the same way you wouldn't wear a tuxedo to hang out with your buddies, or wear sweat pants to your prom (examples approximate to the best of my recollection), it is possible to alter one's style of speaking without sounding fake and without being inaccurate. And she emphasized that language is a living, evolving, creative process, and following certain grammatical rules can sound artificially stuffy (such as never ending a sentence in a preposition), and if you are just hanging out with your friends you can take a lot more liberties than you would at a job interview or when writing a paper. "With whom did you go to the store?" just sounds strange nowadays, although there is one person around whom I will always be careful when speaking, since he is extra critical of grammar and does not hesitate to reprimand me.

    I do tend to notice a lot of grammatical errors in general, but for some reason, unless someone's post is just a complete unreadable mess or the user has a trend of being very lax in correcting their mistakes, I tend to go with the flow. I figure with phones and babies and what-have-you, people have a hard time.


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    I don't know Grammar Girl, but she does make a good point. It's a perspective most people will take away from an introductory linguistics class, although I admit pre-linguistics I was very judgy when it came to grammar.

    Code-switching (adjusting your speech to suit your listeners) is actually a sign of high-level language skills.

    I'm really a chameleon when it comes to my spoken language. I pick up on what I hear from someone and go with it. So I will speak completely differently depending on my audience. I do it in writing, too, I notice. I can write in a very high-brow, formal style but most of the time I'd rather write the way someone would speak when having a chat. Much more natural.
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    For Chrissy: Effectiveness of the Vaccine The DTaP vaccine is 95% effective in preventing all three diseases that it immunizes againstódiphtheria, tetanus and pertussis. It is 59-89% effective in preventing pertussis, while the protection rates for diphtheria and tetanus are higher. Pertussis occasionally occurs in children who have received the pertussis immunization, but it is less severe and has fewer complications. From http://www.immunizationinfo.org/vacc...whooping-cough So yes, you can get it if you have had the vaccine.
    Thank you L.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    I tend to get uptight about some grammatical things, but that one didn't bother me so much, mostly because I knew what they meant and because %ile looks strange in conversational typing, as opposed to journal papers. But then I had to go back to the thread and try to pick which one was most likely to be the pre-med major, and I couldn't. Have you ever heard the podcast Grammar Girl? I've only heard it a few times, but there was an interesting discussion about how to change one's grammar style to fit into one's surroundings. She wasn't saying to not be inaccurate, or dumb down, or to not be true to yourself, but the same way you wouldn't wear a tuxedo to hang out with your buddies, or wear sweat pants to your prom (examples approximate to the best of my recollection), it is possible to alter one's style of speaking without sounding fake and without being inaccurate. And she emphasized that language is a living, evolving, creative process, and following certain grammatical rules can sound artificially stuffy (such as never ending a sentence in a preposition), and if you are just hanging out with your friends you can take a lot more liberties than you would at a job interview or when writing a paper. "With whom did you go to the store?" just sounds strange nowadays, although there is one person around whom I will always be careful when speaking, since he is extra critical of grammar and does not hesitate to reprimand me. I do tend to notice a lot of grammatical errors in general, but for some reason, unless someone's post is just a complete unreadable mess or the user has a trend of being very lax in correcting their mistakes, I tend to go with the flow. I figure with phones and babies and what-have-you, people have a hard time.
    That's a really excellent analogy about not wearing formal wear to just hang out. I like it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #39236

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    SCUBJIA!

    Chrissy, how is Conner today? Sawyer is very sick and i keep going back and forth on if I should bring him in or not. I am waiting for a call back from our dr now. Yesterday he coughed so much and so hard that he was throwing up, mostly phlegm. This is not the same thing Kai had at all. The mom of the children I care for is very sick and has pnemonia, which is not contagious right? But the virus that causes it is? Today he is coughing less but running a fever and will NOT let me put him down. Thank goodness I did not give up my moby wrap yet. I pulled it out of the donation box to wear him today and he's sleeping on me now as he will be all day I imagine. I would hate to have to put him in his carseat (which he already hates and will hate more being sick) and drive him to the dr in this inclement weather. What would you guys do?

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    I'd wait and see what the dr says. I'm like you, I never know whether to go to the dr or not.

    As far as I know, Conner only has a cough and sore throat. Rich wants us to take him to the dr tonight because he's had a cough on one level or another for over a month. It's transitioned into a coughing fit where he has a hard time catching his breath. Whooping cough is going around at his school, which is why I asked if it's possible to get that when you've been inoculated against it. I'm in agreement with Rich that it's probably time we took him in. When I say he's had a cough for a month, it hasn't been steady but seems to ebb and flow...but this time it's way worse. It might not even be the same thing, but we should have it checked just in case. It's been a hard year for Conner. He's never been sick and now he's almost constantly sick.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #39238

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    I have to admit since I started hanging around you guys I've been trying to polish up my language a little bit. That's why I stopped writing so many LOL's (although I may have slipped lately). I feel like the uneducated one in the bunch. Not that that's a bad thing-I just feel like I can't keep up sometimes, so while you guys are going on about IT and medical issues and things I do read along but I sometimes don't comment for a page or two. I actually feel like a complete dunce hanging around most people. I think I've gotten so used to communicating online that I've actually forgotten how to communicate face to face because I obviously don't speak the way I type. Since I have all this free time now I feel like I should be taking classes or doing something to put myself out there.

  29. #39239

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    I'd take him in, Bridget. JoJo had pneumonia last year and the only thing besides a fever the day before was that she threw up in the morning. Even if it isn't pneumonia, maybe your dr. can prescribe something to ease the cough. And for Connor, too. I hope they both feel better soon.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  30. #39240

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    Josh had a cough for almost 3 months at the end of last year into this year. It wasn't pneumonia but they found out that his sinuses were almost completely blocked and dripping into his throat which was making him cough. It was terrible! It took us 3 tries to get them to send us to the hospital for those x rays. I would bring him in, just so they can have everything on record.

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