Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

Ash, that really makes sense to me. In certain forms I typed up in mental health, they did it that way for some reason. I can't remember in what circumstance now, but forever after it's something I have to think about when I quote and it feels 'wrong' doing it the American way. Or "normal" way? And as far as double-spacing after a period, my font-of-choice happens to be Courier so maybe that's my justification for keeping it...but the truth is, I can't stop double-spacing. It would take me so much time to actually stop and think about it, and I'm already preoccupied with when to put the punctuation after a quote. I'd never complete a sentence if I had to keep thinking about everything.

Shayla, that's great she loves school so much! And funny she'd go twice if she could. Is K full day there? Conner is in K and his is all day. He also loves school but is a bit preoccupied with all his 'girlfriends'.

[AmeriBrit]

Oh, and I just had to share with y'all cause some of y'all are sci-fi geeks like I am-the other day my MIL bought some little Star Wars Lego characters for the boys (my 2 and SIL's 2) and when they opened them, one was Han Solo frozen in that block of whatever it was supposed to be, but SIL picked it up and was like, "This isn't even a Star Wars figure; it's just some boy frozen in something." She looked at me and I was smiling, so she was like, "WHAT?" I said to her, "You've never seen Star Wars, have you?"

We're watching a mini-series called Black Mirror written by Charlie Brooker. He's quite clever. I like most of his tv shows that he writes. This one is a lot like a modern day Twilight Zone. Y'all should check it out if you get a chance.

[Gwenn]

I drive myself crazy sometimes at work because I am, to this day, confused about how to write a sentence like the following:

Student was observed to use several phonological processes, including fronting (t/k, "tat" for "cat," age-appropriate until 3;6), stopping (t/s, "tun" for "sun," age-appropriate until 3;0), and final consonant deletion ("ca" for "cat," age-appropriate until 3;3).

I was taught to put the punctuation outside of the quotation marks, so I write it that way but it doesn't seem to make sense. Of course the sentence is pretty complicated and run-on anyway, but I can't just throw out words like fronting and stopping without explaining what the heck I am talking about so I always put examples, but then I don't like putting the comma inside the quotes. Then throwing in the parentheses makes it even worse, because those go the other way. The British way would make more sense. Oh, and I always have another sentence explaining what the heck phonological processes are, too. There is a tricky balance between writing a report that is parent-friendly but contains enough professional terminology that another therapist could make sense of it without thinking I had no idea of what the actual terminology is.

Yes, this keeps me awake at night.

[AmeriBrit]

See, I would have written that sentence just as you put it in the quote, Mandy, but it would be incorrect here because they would have written "cat", and "sun",

Stuff like that keeps my brain awake at night as well! I even texted the teacher I work with at 11 at night last week because I was so consumed with the subject!

[missychrissy]

I have a situation I really don't know how to deal with. One of my bookclub therapists that I've been particularly close to actually called and accused me of stealing and using her credit card. She wasn't really nasty about it, but quite adamant and let me know she shut it down through the bank. I heard this on a voicemail and immediately called her. We talked and I assured her I would never do such a thing. She admitted she felt bad as soon as she left the message and by the time I called her she knew I hadn't. But I'm not sure I believe her. And I really don't feel good at all about the fact that she'd even think I was capable of such a thing. The only reason she suspected me was because I was the last one in her house at the last bookclub, and it was after that that she discovered her credit card was gone.

I've witnessed her misplace her keys-both house and car-and she's getting to the age where it's not uncommon for people to lose things and accuse others of stealing. I'm trying to be understanding and forgiving, but frankly-I don't think I want to be alone in her house ever again. And I'm wondering if she's said anything to the other bookclub members and if so, wth could they be thinking? I'm new to the group (although we all worked together years ago and they know me). Could they wonder if I changed in the 8 years since I worked with them? Wonder if I've become a con artist and a thief? Apparently the thought crossed Judy's mind.

[Suja]

That's awful, Chrissy! Yeah, I would have trouble dealing with her after that.

[daylilies]

Oh Chrissy I'm sorry. Hopefully she didn't share her thoughts with anyone else in the group.

[Gwenn]

That's awful. Honestly, I don't know that I would go back to someone's house if they accused me of stealing.

[daylilies]

To be honest I'd probably go back. I think if you back out it looks like an admission of guilt. If I had the nerve I know you have, I'd probably confront her and maybe even ask for an apology in front of the group especially if she shared her concerns with the rest of them.

[missychrissy]

Oh, I'm not quitting the book club. I just don't think I'll volunteer to help Judy out when it's her turn to host again. I've even been up there and worked on her computer, for free. It really hurt my feelings that she thought I'd be capable of such a thing. I even started crying when I said that if I was hurting for money that bad, I'd ask before I took from anyone.

[daylilies]

Oh okay, I assumed it was always hosted at her house.

[missychrissy]

Our next one is next Friday and we're supposed to spend the night at Jill's house. I was looking forward to it so much but now I'm afraid the whole experience is simply going to be ruined for me. Even if no one brings it up, I'm going to wonder if Judy said something. And I'm going to wonder if Judy believes me. I tried to talk her into calling the police and reporting it stolen. I told her I'd feel a lot better about it if she did because I knew I didn't take it and when they found out who did, it would clear all doubt from her mind. She said she wasn't going to and she didn't think I did it after all. :/ I also pointed out that someone did steal from her and they deserve to be punished for it. But she was not receptive at all.

[daylilies]

That really sucks.

[missychrissy]

I might be a mess in so many ways, but one thing I'm sure and certain on, I'm honest and I don't steal. I pride myself on the fact that anyone that knows me knows I'm a trustworthy person. This really has me rattled. I don't think I've ever been accused of stealing before...except that time I was a teenager and my paternal grandmother accused me of stealing her diamond. It turned out my cousin had gotten it caught on a bracelet (it was in the jewelry cleaner) and took it home to Colorado with him by accident. Even then, I was just pissed because my grandmother ALWAYS treated those cousins better than my brother and I, and of course if something came up missing it was automatically one of us.

Ok, I'm rambling now. It is what it is. I know I didn't do it and I cannot help what she thinks. I'm just going to have to let it go.

[Krystal5]

Oh, whoops, Chrissy, I hope you didn't take offense to my statement! I had these headaches with a particular IT department. I won't get started, but I certainly didn't mean to have that come out wrong!

I always do two spaces, too. Well, not always, if I'm on my cell using Swype, I let it do its auto-thing, and it only does one. And, well, it drives me CRAZY that the auto feature only does one. I want it to do two!! According to that link, "they" recommend one, because it looks better. I don't think it looks better, I like it with two! Makes it more distinctly the end of a sentence...

And as for quotes and punctuation... I learned that the punctuation goes outside the quote, unless it's part of the quote. For example, I would write: Maiya likes to say "Neens", but she can say "Quincy". But I would also write: To quote Maiya, "T-Cat is a real cat who can turn in to an elephant and a building and a tree."

Chrissy, I'm so sorry you were accused of that. Some people don't think things out, they just jump to illogical conclusions. It speaks more about HER character than it does yours! I would probaby also be sure to not be alone at her house...

In my news... I was a little late on my progesterone today due to a sick, cranky girl who fell off the bed. I rushed through soothing her when I realized I was cramping... Now I'm freaking out that I've ruined my chances this cycle. It seems I need to take this every 12 hours, with only a +/- 5 min window... Makes me believe I did kill my last baby, because I was VERY late taking that progesterone (I was working then). I need to keep a positive attitude, though, every says it's more likely to work if I'm positive about it. It will still work, it will still work...

And in Maiya news... She is becoming quite the little story teller! I already quoted her about T-Cat (she named this imaginary cat. She also named one of her real monster toys TP House. She seems to have a thing about "T" names!). The story she told, pretty much all on her own with only a little prompting, was that of T-Cat (who is a really big super cat that likes to give people rides) going to work on the BART train, and then going to the theater to see my Dad and our theater friends, and not singing her favorite song because she was too silly... I love her little imagination! Not bad for a not-yet 3 year old...

[Gwenn]

NO, you did not take it too late. It will be FINE! Stop worrying and be positive (and yes, I know how hard that is).

And as for quotes and punctuation... I learned that the punctuation goes outside the quote, unless it's part of the quote. For example, I would write: Maiya likes to say "Neens", but she can say "Quincy". But I would also write: To quote Maiya, "T-Cat is a real cat who can turn in to an elephant and a building and a tree."

Interesting! I am going to have to research this further. I guess what troubles me is that I'm writing a list of items in quotes. Your way would do it differently. Makes a lot of sense.

And I agree that it looks better with two spaces! I still do it that way, too.

[demigraf]

I love Maiya's imaginative little mind.

Claire is gonna get a whole lot of what she wants out of life. That's for sure.

Chrissy, you're so good-natured. I personally, would have let that woman have it for her baseless accusation that she had to know was hurtful (she's presumably a psychiatrist?). What kind of a dummy leaps to the conclusion that the last person alone in the house is the thief? Did she review what was purchased with the stolen card? Did any of it sound like something you wouldn't buy? Bet she didnt even think that far. You def wouldn't want someone like her on a jury.

[AmeriBrit]

I love Maiya's imaginative little mind.

Claire is gonna get a whole lot of what she wants out of life. That's for sure.

Chrissy, you're so good-natured. I personally, would have let that woman have it for her baseless accusation that she had to know was hurtful (she's presumably a psychiatrist?). What kind of a dummy leaps to the conclusion that the last person alone in the house is the thief? Did she review what was purchased with the stolen card? Did any of it sound like something you wouldn't buy? Bet she didnt even think that far. You def wouldn't want someone like her on a jury.

I agree with Myles! What kind of person goes and accuses a friend of doing something like that with no evidence at all. If it were me being accused, I would have maybe called some of the other people in the book club and let them know what's happened so that I could vent to someone who knows us both. What a shame she did that.

Sending sticky baby vibes your way, Janet!

I forgot to mention to y'all about the swimming yesterday. It was family fun hour, so they had all sorts of floats and things for the kids to play with, but there was one guy who was trying to do laps while his older kids swam by themselves. Our kids kept nearly crashing in to him on their floats because he was just swimming away, not really paying attention to the kids around him, so I saw a lot of him. Afterwards when I was in the changing room (the men's and women's changing rooms meet in the middle for families to get changed together), I could hear that Travis had wandered from the showers where he'd been with Rich and was looking for me. I stepped out of the cubicle to direct Travis to me (having only my bright pink Kermit the frog knickers and bra on) and who happened to walk by and catch a glimpse of me-the weirdo awkward guy! Eek.

[missychrissy]

Oh, whoops, Chrissy, I hope you didn't take offense to my statement! I had these headaches with a particular IT department. I won't get started, but I certainly didn't mean to have that come out wrong!I always do two spaces, too. Well, not always, if I'm on my cell using Swype, I let it do its auto-thing, and it only does one. And, well, it drives me CRAZY that the auto feature only does one. I want it to do two!! According to that link, "they" recommend one, because it looks better. I don't think it looks better, I like it with two! Makes it more distinctly the end of a sentence...And as for quotes and punctuation... I learned that the punctuation goes outside the quote, unless it's part of the quote. For example, I would write: Maiya likes to say "Neens", but she can say "Quincy". But I would also write: To quote Maiya, "T-Cat is a real cat who can turn in to an elephant and a building and a tree."Chrissy, I'm so sorry you were accused of that. Some people don't think things out, they just jump to illogical conclusions. It speaks more about HER character than it does yours! I would probaby also be sure to not be alone at her house...In my news... I was a little late on my progesterone today due to a sick, cranky girl who fell off the bed. I rushed through soothing her when I realized I was cramping... Now I'm freaking out that I've ruined my chances this cycle. It seems I need to take this every 12 hours, with only a +/- 5 min window... Makes me believe I did kill my last baby, because I was VERY late taking that progesterone (I was working then). I need to keep a positive attitude, though, every says it's more likely to work if I'm positive about it. It will still work, it will still work...And in Maiya news... She is becoming quite the little story teller! I already quoted her about T-Cat (she named this imaginary cat. She also named one of her real monster toys TP House. She seems to have a thing about "T" names!). The story she told, pretty much all on her own with only a little prompting, was that of T-Cat (who is a really big super cat that likes to give people rides) going to work on the BART train, and then going to the theater to see my Dad and our theater friends, and not singing her favorite song because she was too silly... I love her little imagination! Not bad for a not-yet 3 year old...

I'm hoping it's not too late and have my for you.

The quote example you gave is how I remember the therapists doing it when I typed up their assessments. Perhaps there are different rules for medical related documentation? I never asked, just typed it as they wrote or dictated it.

Ash-that's too funny about the weirdo getting a peek. It's likely the biggest thrill he's gotten in a long time!

I don't feel comfortable bringing up Judy's accusation to the whole group. I've only attended two so far. I'm a relative newcomer, so I don't want to start right off by starting drama. They have such a nice, cozy, comfortable group that's been established for years and while they were all my closest friends when I worked with them, that was a different relationship than this. And I realize too it wouldn't be me 'causing' the drama, but you know what I mean. It would be uncomfortable for everyone and we're supposed to have this big sleepover this coming Friday. I really don't want everyone feeling an undercurrent of anything negative. I've debated whether or not to call Bernie, the one who initially thought to invite me in. I'm probably closest to her of all of them in the group. But I'm not sure what that would resolve except to make myself feel better.

Judy is (was) a MSW-R. A social worker. She was a great one but she's around 70 now. It really is likely age related. I know my mom's side of the family does that as they get old, especially the women. My great-grandmother ended up with dementia and I think this can be a very early sign of that. She would give things away, forget and then see them in her family's house and accuse them of stealing them. I can't be angry or yell at her because I'm so confident this is out of character for Judy, it must be related to her age. Whether she has early dementia or not, there's clearly something going on. I just really wish she'd report it to the police. She may have left her card at a cash register somewhere and if a clerk stole it, they'll likely do it again to someone else.

Since she reported it to her bank, do you know if they'll investigate what happened? Or do they simply stop one card and start another and never look into it? Does anyone know?

[Bridget]

I don't think the bank will initiate an investigation. I feel so bad for you, Chrissy. I was accused of stealing once as a child and it was awful. I cannot imagine being accused as an adult, and by a friend no less. I do think it speaks so well of your character that you are able to see that this could be related to senility and, being that it may, trying to let it go. You are a good person.

[missychrissy]

Maybe I just want it to be related to her age because the alternative is just too much for me to deal with. :/

[Bridget]

It would be for me too. But what you are saying makes sense in relation to her age. I would wonder if anyone else has noticed.

[daylilies]

I've lost my card before and AFAIK there hasn't been an investigation, just a stop to the old card. Maybe it would be different if she knew who did it, like if she reported being mugged or something. I don't know.

[missychrissy]

She said it was definitely used by someone else. You'd think that would trigger an mandatory investigation...but what do I know? Banks probably don't give a rip and won't look if you don't push it.

[daylilies]

Oh, I've gotten calls about fraud on my card too but I never hear what goes on at that end-if it's pursued or not.

[girlwonder]

Chrissy - that's a terrible accusation to make. I was unjustly accused of theft three times in my life and it still makes me so angry and upset to think about it. I would have a hard time being around that woman again. I might check in privately with the woman who initially invited you to let her know what's up, see if perhaps this kind of thing is normal and let her know why you might not want to do the sleepover thing.

[Krystal5]

Yes, unfortunately, most banks do not do investigations... I'm sorry you are dealing with this! Keep us updated on what happens.

Boy, it's been slow in here today!

Thanks all for the good wishes. I sure hope this works, because I am a moody, short tempered little thing lately. UGH. I don't know if it's a side effect of all the meds I'm on, or STC-stress related, or because I'm so tired (and I don't know if I'm so tired because of the meds...), but it sucks! Something tells me it is an early bed time for me tonight- about 10:05, as soon as I'm done with my progesterone, which won't be one minute early or late!!

[Suja]

Good luck, Janet! Please don't beat yourself up over the meds. I'm sure you'll do great!

We may have found a house! It's definitely not perfect, but we're convinced that there is no such thing. The really bad thing is that if we do end up with this house, Mira will have to change schools. The current one would be at least 30 minutes away, but there is another branch of the same school about 5 minutes away. Looking at comps now, but have to revisit to see how our life would work in this house.

[demigraf]

Ooh, exciting, Suja! Hope the comps line up (or give you a better sense on what to offer) and te rest all pans out. Kids Mira's age are still so flexible when it comes to changing schools.

Janet, I hope you get some good rest! I wish I could just put myself to bed at 10 and STTN. I really need to see someone about my inability to sleep these days. It's just gotten so pronounced since early Feb. I got less than two hours of sleep last night, got only 5-6 the week preceding, and still I'm lying awake here after having slept for only 4+ hrs. I have some saliva tests scheduled to measure my cortisol, estrogen, progesterone and other neurotransmitters. I'm pretty sure it's going to show my adrenals are off-cycle and probably fatigued. I'm tired and foggy in the mornings (when my cortisol should naturally be highest) and then get this sort of second wind around 10pm at night. I've given up almost entirely on caffeine, don't drink, try not to eat anything too stimulating/sugary before bed, avoid screen time (believe it or not) around the bed unless I'm so frustrated about being awake that I hop on my phone like now. I think it's a combination of unusually high stress (work, sister, uncertainty about where we're going to live), overtraining, and a failed experiment with intermittent fasting, which I'm quite certain caused me to skip a period in January. I'm back on menstrual track now, thanks to seed cycling and making myself go to yoga 3x/wk, plus taking it way easier with my less frequent workouts. But this insomnia is something that's going to take a concerted effort to fix. I'll try what my naturopath recommends when my saliva tests come in, but anytime I've tried various stress-lowering/cortisol-regulating herbs, I've had a serious case of the stupids, as in I can feel myself losing the ability to find words and remember details when on them, so we'll see. I just had the idea to institute a short, early morning run to deliver the cortisol shot I should be making in the mornings in hopes that it normalizes my cycle. I have to start conditioning for a 12k in May anyway. I don't know. I need guidance here. I'll make a regular doctor's appointment too with my Kaiser MD, but she's typically not a digger, sending me off for bloodwork and just telling me I'm normal, which is no help. And I'd be too paranoid to take prescription sleep meds, which would prob'ly turn me into an addict and not do anything about the root cause anyway. I just have to wonder how people with bigger (real-er) problems than me cope. I'm a little ashamed of my insomnia because I kind of pride myself on being a roll-with-it kind of a gal, and my body is definitely not rolling with it. Plus I want to sleep 8 hrs a night because that feels amazing when I pull that off. How are you guys with sleeping these days?

[demigraf]

Chrissy - that's a terrible accusation to make. I was unjustly accused of theft three times in my life and it still makes me so angry and upset to think about it. I would have a hard time being around that woman again. I might check in privately with the woman who initially invited you to let her know what's up, see if perhaps this kind of thing is normal and let her know why you might not want to do the sleepover thing.

I would do this too... and TBH, I'd probably get a little passive aggressive satisfaction out of being able to share my story, gain sympathy, etc.