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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #39001
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    We bought something (flat bread & beans? Go ahead, laugh I can't remember!) that was to die for in the parking lot too. Yum!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Fry bread. Yes, it is to die for. I like it with honey as a sweet food - personally I can't stand refried beans. It's a texture thing. But it's just as good that way, too.

    I'll have to take you to some really awesome Mexican food in the barrio while you're here. You'll thank me.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Yes, that's it! With refried beans. Now I'm hungry! I can't wait

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #39004

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    It would be fun to go to Tombstone, especially since DH was so into the history there.

  5. #39005
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    I always wanted to go, ever since I was a young girl and learned the town was still there and essentially the same as it was back in the day. It's really worth the trip for any American History buff. I'd love to go again but I'm not going to be able to manage it this trip.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #39006

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    I went to Tombstone too when I visited my old roommate who lived in Tucson and was getting her Masters in Speech Pathology @ the time. She's around mine/Mandy's age, so I'm still shocked Mandy, that you & she never crossed paths, but then again, she was in school to get to a second career, and you were prob'ly well out of school by then. So Tucson was fun. One of the photos in one of my FB album is of me up in the Tucson mountains with her. I saw one of the famed wild pigs along the path, and we also went to a bar in a historic old hotel in Tucson that was cool too. I am starting to feel like I'm retelling a story I've told at least twice already on here.

    For the record, I wrote up a couple paragraphs on my phone earlier today, but then accidentally hit the Back button. Argh!

    I was just saying, Erin that I would feel very similarly to you and your DH; unwelcome guests - especially familial ones - are always a stressful situation. I hope everything can be resolved without too much love lost.

    Oh the subject of funny names, my random, slightly-related tale about that goes back to the time that I was barely out of college and I was working as a telephone operator for a private bank. I found one of my besties at that job, and we agree it was one of the lamest, and simultaneously one of the most awesome jobs we've ever had. we sat around and shot the sh*t while occasionally answering calls to schedule teleconferences (this was before the time of automated conferencing). Anyway, we had huge lists of names to work with. So we developed a list of our own... of names that just "went well" together. So B. Minor was paired with C. Major. We wanted T. Herman to marry K. Muenster (so she could change her last name to Herman-Muenster). T. Paulie with R. Esther (to make Paulie Esther). D. Cutters went well with G. Sisserly (scissorly, get it?). Mr. Pyles went with Mr. Heaps. And so on and so forth. I wish I could remember more. We literally had 2 sides of an 8x11 sheet filled with these bank couples.

    Suja, I've never heard Mayamalam. Can you speak Hindi/Urdu at all, and are any of those languages related? How many languages do you speak anyway?

    Very cool that Maiya is getting the hang of potty training!

    I am sick and trying to heal up for when we go on vacation. The last couple weekends have been spent with me spraying permethrin on our clothes (then washing them once) to make them bug repellent. One of my old college friends, Josh, just got back from Nicaragua himself. I didn't even know he was going until he started posting on FB that he was there. So we connected over the phone and he scared the bejeebus outta me by letting it be known that some bed bugs hitched a ride home with him. So I'm paranoid and have activated the anti-bedbug protocol. I am a one-woman anti-bedbug taskforce. Everything that could have eggs laid in it has been sprayed down. I bought some diatomaceous earth for our return. Everything that was with us will be treated with the DE (thanks for clue-ing me in on it, Bridget!). Nothing that has been with us will be allowed in the house. When we return, we are entering only once we've stripped down to our birthday suits and leave the clothes we wore home in the pile to be treated. We will change into some clean clothes left in the garage. Am I paranoid? Yep!

    Some pretty exciting developments for hubby, though I don't want to exactly celebrate just yet. There is an old recording studio. It's been defunct for quite a few years now. Anyway, DH was the technical chief of another old studio down in LA. Long story short, the owner of his old studio is partnering with a couple of other old music industry folks up here and they are going to re-open this studio up here. DH is definitely going to consult on the project for now, and once it's operational, they want him to be the chief. Nothing is set in stone at this point, but I'm even flattered for DH that his name is the one on everyone's minds. He met with one of the money guys for lunch today, and was told his name was circulated by people that didn't even talk to each other beforehand. He's going to get to work with people that he was very fond of, who have never even worked with each other themselves, so he's really excited and this feels like a bit of a "This is Your Life" moment for him. His other biggest client is also up on that side of the bridge (a.k.a. Pepperlu Territory), so maybe we'll all be spending a lot more time up there in the future. It's an exciting prospect, to say the least. I'm feeling very proud for him right now.
    Last edited by demigraf; 02-26-2013 at 12:09 AM.

  7. #39007

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    Cool, Myles, about your dh! I'll be hoping for you guys. I am paranoid about bedbugs too. Whenever we go to a hotel I strip the beds and look for signs. I have heard the mattress will have rust colored stains in the creases from them pooping. I also make dbf leave his suitcase in the garage when he comes home. This stems also from an article I read about the germs in an airport bathroom where they swabbed the bottom of someone's suitcase and found not only e-coli but clamydia! I'm sure I spelled that wrong but I'm not going to google it. The last thing I need is that ad showing on on my facebook page. lol

    I am finally catching up on my housework, just scrubbed all the floors and now I am looking at 3 loads of laundry to fold which I should be doing instead of typing this post. Sawyer has an awful cough now, Kai getting a little better but still having a heck of a time at night. Croup sucks!
    Hi Erin! Miss you!

  8. #39008
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    Myles, that is so cool about your DH! Sounds like a dream for him.

    I knew you had been to Tucson, but didn't know (or forgot?) that your friend was in my program here. This was actually my second time around in college, so I was an older student. Have you ever told me her name? Maybe I know of her if I don't know her. What year was it?

    I don't even want to think about bedbugs.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I don't even want to tell you about the living purgatory we have gone through with bedbugs. All you people who know me will probably get the heebie-jeebies, but I am guessing that casual contact would not have done anything since we had my mom's house tested and it was completely clean and she hangs out at my house 12 hours a day, 3+ days a week. It made me a little reclusive and depressed at $3000 poorer for a while, though, since diy treatments are no match for them. I have gotten DH to stop putting his suitcase next to the bed and not unpacking it for a month, though. It was not that long ago, and this is the first time I have talked about it publicly. Apparently it's an epidemic around the Bay Area, and many other places.
    FYI, Myles, just put your suitcases in the garage, or outside the house to unpack them, or wrap them in plastic bags if they must be stored inside the house. Wash/dry everything asap. Putting things through a dryer with the heat cycle will kill bedbugs. If things are dryclean only, often they can be put through a dryer as long as they're not wet first.


  10. #39010
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    PS Congrats to your DH, Myles! Awesome news.


  11. #39011

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    Thanks for the info on bedbugs, L. I was just sitting here wondering if having dbf leave his stuff in the garage, and then putting it directly in the wash/dryer was enough. I am so sorry you had to deal with them. I have heard they are a biatch to get rid of. And I know what you mean. When we had scabies here, I became a different person.

  12. #39012
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    Myles, how exciting! Hope the deal goes through for DH.

    There are a whole bunch of languages in India, and thousands of dialects. Some are more closely related than others, and knowing one will will help with others. Hindi is one of them. Because it is the national language, we had to learn it in school. Because of that and watching too many Hindi movies, I know how to read, write, and understand, but cannot speak. I mean, I know enough that I can ask really simple questions, but it won't come out right. Urdu, I haven't had much exposure at all, and cannot understand at all. I also know a little Tamil, because where I grew up abuts the state where it is spoken, my mom can read, write and understand, and from watching Tamil movies, but I don't read at all well, cannot write, and don't speak much at all. The other 30 or whatever languages in the country, I know nothing about. But, because some are related to Hindi, I might be able to pick up a word or two, here and there.

  13. #39013

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    My favorite horrible name story is one directly from my dad. He worked at our local school district, and went to all the schools (they have a lot), so he heard a LOT of names. The "best" (aka worst!) story was of twin girls. Their mom had to name one of her girls Virginia, and she wanted the twin to have a similar sounding name. So she named her Vagina. Yup.

    Oh, I love the movie Tombstone, too, and would love to go there in real life one day!

    Hi Erin, good to see you!

    Oh, Myles, I hate when I lose stuff like that! And I never have the patience to rewrite it...

    And thanks about Maiya!

    I hope all your anti bed bug actions work!! I am worried about that when we go to Hawaii... The closer the trip gets, the more I think about implementing all those protocols, too...

    Oh, that sounds very exciting about your husband!! That would be awesome, and as you said, is flattering. Go him!!

    Bridget, glad Kai is starting to feel better, hope Saywer doesn't get any worse, and that he's recovering soon, too!

    L, ugh! That's awful that you went through all that. So far we are fine, too, but I feel bad for you!

    So, I shared with you all how excited Maiya was to be able to pee on the grass like the dog... EVERY time she has needed to go pee since then, she tells me she wants to go pee on the grass now. WHAT?? I was mostly able to get her on the toilet, except once... She was playing outside on the grass, then, out of no where, said "I REALLY need to go pee right now!" Dropped her pants, and proceeded to pee right then and there!!! Does that count as an accident??? Ugh. I do NOT think she "couldn't hold it", I think she just didn't want to. Boy, I hope this is a quickly passing phase...



  14. #39014

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    There are a whole lot of languages/dialects in the island nation I come from too - thousands - about 1 per island, basically. (Those who even casually know me on FB know where I come from. I don't talk about it because it's just another identifying characteristic for me). Not as many as Indonesia, which also has about 1 per island and is made up of about 10,000 islands. How many of the thousands of languages/dialects of my native country do I speak? Zilch. It's kind of a sore subject for me, but my parents didn't put much value on my learning it, and they totally made fun of my accent when I tried. It was also tough for me to learn because I moved here at 15 months, so it's not like I had a chance to immerse myself in the old tongue(s). I really wish I could speak it. I can understand much of it conversationally because my parents spoke it in the home, but it always surprises me to see it written because I have no idea how to parse sentences up into words. A sentence like "this house belongs to a dentist" sounds like "thishousebelongstoadentist" to me.

    I read back on what I wrote above about DH, and I'm going to edit some of the details out because I just realized that total strangers can put things together. My DH has made me hypercautious about sharing information about the specific projects and people he works with. I know that's a little paranoid. Sorry!

    BTW, Abbeysmom... I've lost track of you and I don't even know if your contact information is still valid. If you still check in here once in awhile, let this post be a beacon. Been trying to reach you. I hope it's all super well for you and your family, and that you've been away from us because your life is just way too awesome and you don't have time post on here.

  15. #39015
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    L, that sounds like hell. But good to know how to minimize our own risks. It really is a big deal. NYC has been dealing with it for years. When I stayed there last year, I was paranoid about them because they seemed so prevalent. Unfortunately, hotels are the perfect place for them...so many international travelers coming and going. They're often transferred from one guest to the next before the hotel even realizes they have them. It's illegal to sell used mattresses in NY because of bedbugs, but you can donate them. :/

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #39016
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    It seems really common for those of certain generations to have not wanted to teach their language to their kids I think. My friend was pretty annoyed with her dad for that. He's Mexican and didn't speak spanish with any of the kids. But now I think she understands it better as they were going to raise their daughter differently...her husband is Indian and was going to only speak Hindi to her. They did for a while but eventually he found himself talking to her in English.
    I am also paranoid about bedbugs. I do check hotel rooms before staying in them and do not put my suitcase on the floor. This is pretty helpful in knowing where to look http://www.vdacs.virginia.gov/pestic...entify1.pdfAnd this is also helpful http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bed...3/METHOD=print

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  17. #39017
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    Oh and Janet I think that will pass. I remember my little sister was recently potty trained and had to pee in a cup at the doctor. She thought it was so great that for a while she kept asking for a cup every time she had to go. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #39018

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    I think since she knew she had to pee and and didn't just do it in her pants, I wouldn't count it as an accident. Josh has a hard time peeing places he shouldn't. We're still working on getting it in the toilet, in fact

    I love the name stories. I haven't known anyone with a particularly bad or funny name. I think it's interesting how people work so hard to give their kids names that can't be made fun of and kids will still find a way!

    I had a dilemma at church on Sunday and I'm not sure I handled it right. They were having an intergenerational service which means there are no classes for the kids, so the kids come to the service. It was supposed to be geared towards children so I brought Josh and I let him bring a few small toys to play with quietly if he got bored. Turned out the service was in the auditorium so instead of pews they just had folding chairs set up. Josh found a friend and sat on a small bench at the back of the room. I sat in one of the chairs near the back. Soon, a lot more kids Josh's age and younger showed up and they all joined Josh in the back. When the service started it became obvious that even though they were playing quietly the noise was just carrying too much. So I felt the best thing was to take Josh and his toys out of the equation. I wish I could have just taken away the toys, but I think they would have been bored. Now I know that Josh is probably too young for these types of services. I had just pictured him playing alone in a pew at the back of the sanctuary which is much bigger and nobody would have noticed him. I wish I'd remembered that it was going to be in the auditorium!
    Last edited by daylilies; 02-26-2013 at 11:08 AM.

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    One of my amazing coworkers has been off for a week to be with her sick mom. They found out two Fridays ago that the reason for her mom's back pain is a growth in the spine. On Monday they found out that the growth is actually growing inside the spinal column, the vertebrae was at the point of collapse, and they'd need to do surgery right away. She reacted badly to the Fentanyl she was given, so the surgery didn't get done until Thursday. Her condition is still touch and go, and they found out yesterday that the tumor is malignant :-( I feel SO bad for her; I can't imagine hearing something like that about my mom.

    Feeling kind of helpless, and it's not even my mom.

  20. #39020

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    So sad Suja,

  21. #39021

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    Suja, that's horrible. That level of illness makes my insides twist up to think about. It's terrible when it strikes someone you care about. I'm sorry to hear that news.

    Kate, did you mean you took Josh home because of the noise level? I don't think you handled it badly in any case. I probably would have done the same if there was no other alternative than to let it escalate into a bigger scene. Nothing you said you did sounds out of line. At a funeral, I ended up playing outside with Bodhi while the service finished, but I'm guessing it was too cold for that in your area. I think you're alright.

    BTW, I'm going ahead and interviewing for that job that the sister mentioned to me. Since my vacation is coming up they want me to do it this week. I don't really know if I want it after all, but I'm just going to talk to them and find out. It's another 4 hrs of interviewing. We'll see. There's really a lot of change going on. I few weeks ago - dunno if you remember - I said I was bummed out about some news I'd gotten that I wasn't ready to talk about. Well, the news was that the owners of the home we live in are thinking of selling it, which would mean we would have to move out. We thought about buying it, but agreed we're not in a position to make such a big purchase that would strain our resources with another mortgage, and we're not ready to plant roots here when other things are still up in the air. We do love the house, though. I was really depressed when I first learned we might have to move, but then I decided it was just a house and I'm just being ruled by my feelings of attachment to it. We've been incredibly lucky in that we found this space that works well for our family, where we really like our neighbors, and it's a STEAL. So I realized I was just pouting - not because something really terrible has happened to us, but because our luck may have run out, and we'll have to face the normal challenges that any other family has to deal with ... like finding another equally pleasant place to live that may actually cost what it's worth. On the bright side, they might NOT decide to sell. The owners are coming in March from upstate NY to decide if they want to move back here or back down to San Diego. And the other silver lining is that we may end up living somewhere I can actually grow tomatoes because the yard isn't entirely heavy shade/filtered sunlight.

  22. #39022

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    Yeah, I felt like I couldn't just take the toys away without causing a scene. He was already starting to get really upset about the whole thing and I knew we were past the point of him settling down enough to enjoy the service. I was hoping it would be geared more towards little kids but it was probably better for kids at least a couple years older.

  23. #39023

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    Oh and Myles, that is interesting news, and you're right, it's not all bad. And good luck with the interview!

  24. #39024

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    Myles, congrats to your dh on his work news! That sounds fantastic -- it's so great to get reassurance every now and then that you're really valued for what you do, and it sounds like whether this pans out or not, he's getting that. So cool. And I'm not just saying I hope it works out so that you can spend more time on my side of the bay ... but that would be great too!
    I'm sorry about the house stuff, but you're right. Seems like sometimes those things happen just at the time you need to make a decision about putting down roots. I hope it works out in the way that is best for you. Ditto on the work situation. Good luck with the interview!

    L, your bedbug story -- while not graphic -- nevertheless gave me the shudders. I hate dealing with bugs of all kinds, especially the stubborn bloodsucking sorts. Good advice about how to handle luggage and clothes when you come home from a trip. We've never done anything like that, but now I'm thinking it's a great idea.

    Suja, I'm sorry about your co-worker's mom. I too hate hearing that kind of news. It gives me a stomachache even when it's just a stranger ... I can't imagine how sad and scary it would be with a family member. Just not knowing what something is is scary enough, as I know from recent experience, and to find out bad news... ugh. I hope she pulls through and is able to fight the cancer successfully.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  25. #39025

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    Mandy, can you remind me of the resource you referred me to when I was seeking advice about the 10 year old boy on the autism spectrum that I was caring for. I recall a system that broke down "offenses" into seriousness. Does that makes sense? I thought I had bookmarked the info and now I can't find it. I need to come up with a system for Kai. He is really struggling with reading people's body language and just flat our listening to kids and adults when they say stop. He's such a sweetheart but dang I can see he is annoying other kids and he doesn't get it. I take care of 6 year old boy in the morning before school and Kai adores him. He is a good friend to Kai and very sweet natured but so often Kai will totally invade his personal space and the kids is cowering away from him and/or just walking away and Kai doesn't get it! He keeps at it. He does the same thing to Savana and it has gotten to where she will go in her room and shut the door to get away from him and he is so hurt by that but I'm like, "You aren't listening to her. You aren't stopping when she says stop!" and he just hangs his head and says, "But I thought it was funny!" Then today he was helping me clean the playroom and I asked him to put a stuffed tiger on the loft. Pretty soon I heard Sawyer crying his little heart out and I saw Kai ripping it out of Sawyers hands. I said, "Oh, you can just let him play with it." and Kai continued to fight him for it. Poor Sawyer was red in the face and I had to yell for Kai to stop and he's like, "But you SAID put it on the loft!" I tried expaining to him that we must use our heads and do what feels right. So I gave him a couple of scenarios where you may be about to do one thing, or told to do a certain thing but then different variables come into play and what should he do? He answered every one in the way that I wished he'd actually handle those situations but to actually follow through is a different story. Long story short (now that I've already made it long) is that I really need to focus on helping him understand that stop means stop when he's playing with his friends. Immediate stop. Or no one is going to want to play with him anymore.

  26. #39026

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    Myles, sorry about the house. I know I like change myself but thought of leaving my house always makes me sad and anxious. I hope you either get to stay, or grow your tomato garden.

  27. #39027
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    Sorry about the news Myles. I wish you felt better about your career prospects at the moment too.

    Work sucks. Beyond sucks. Too much more crap went all wrong, wasted time, and a manager that should have been a gravedigger for a living because she clearly loves to bury people. We're migrating to the awful Office 365 tonight. I'm supposed to drive in (normally ride a bus for 30 miles) in sleet, freezing rain, and snow and be there 1 hour before my scheduled time. Poop.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Bridget, I'm not sure of the site I linked you to but the strategy is called The Incredible Five-Point Scale. There is a book with that title.

    At work today we were talking with a parent of a little guy who doesn't really respond to what you say and he is a "runner." My partner was talking to the mom about strategies at home to teach him that "stop" means stop - for example, marching along the sidewalk and chanting walk-walk-walk-STOP! hop-hop-hop-STOP! jump-jump-jump-STOP! Saying the words along with the actions, and physically taking him by the shoulders and making him stop at the right time. Make it a game and practice it a lot - so when you ask him to stop and it matters, his body has experience reacting in the right way. At a higher level, I could see that working with Kai.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Suja, I'm sorry about your bad news. What is the prognosis for her condition?

    Myles, I hope it all comes together for you in the right way. I know you really love where you are living so I hope, if change is necessary, that it is for the best.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  30. #39030
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Bridget, I'm not sure of the site I linked you to but the strategy is called The Incredible Five-Point Scale. There is a book with that title. At work today we were talking with a parent of a little guy who doesn't really respond to what you say and he is a "runner." My partner was talking to the mom about strategies at home to teach him that "stop" means stop - for example, marching along the sidewalk and chanting walk-walk-walk-STOP! hop-hop-hop-STOP! jump-jump-jump-STOP! Saying the words along with the actions, and physically taking him by the shoulders and making him stop at the right time. Make it a game and practice it a lot - so when you ask him to stop and it matters, his body has experience reacting in the right way. At a higher level, I could see that working with Kai.
    There is a Ralph's World song that goes "Marching Marching Marching Marching Hop Hop Hop Hop Hop Hop Running Running Running Running Running Running Now we STOP Now we STOP" and it's pretty fun to break up walking along city blocks to those rhythms. R. always goes right along with me with all of that, though, including the STOP, but he is still a runner.

    http://www.songlyrics.com/ralph-s-wo...medley-lyrics/


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