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I'm not sure that surfer mom sounds like a totally nice person. She must have great qualities, since she's your friend, but that sort of thing would bother the heck out of me too. And I would have done the same thing and tried to take the blame as well, even though really it should have been surfer mom who reached out since it was her changing the plans.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I'm gonna be a Gramama!
Myles, I can see why that would bother you. I would have communicated with everyone involved from the start, too.I know what you mean about the sense of humor. I have never gotten into Jillian Michaels. I'd guess based on the work she does with people that she's very intense.
Myles, that situation would bother me too. I hate weirdness caused by lack of communication. Totally avoidable. Do you think surfer girl didn't want to hang with the new friend anymore and that was her way out of it? Thanks for the encouragement about Oregon. I know i would like it there too.
Mandy, you are the only reason that Arizona holds a glimmer of hope in my book. I just can't imagine hot all the time. I like change in seasons but maybe not so drastic as WI and AZ.
Well, it's not hot all the time. We had snow this weekend, although not right in the city center - still, 30's isn't exactly hot. It's pretty much May through September that's hot-hot, but the weather the rest of the year is great.
And my city is really quite granola in spots.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
More total randomness... Someone posted this on FB:
The URL belongs to site that discusses the bible. The "Pets Are Delicious Meat" link leads to some Word document that I really don't quite know what to make of.
Right. I haven't quite figured out if she's that inconsiderate just a real space cadet... or if being a space cadet is even an excuse for being inconsiderate.Originally Posted by missychrissy
Hmmm. Poll to come.
Myles, I fully confess to being a space cadet myself, and it's not ill-intentioned. But I do get a sense with Surfer Girl that she was trying to remove your new friend / running partner from the equation, which strikes me as manipulative and rude.
But tell me you'll all forgive me for being a space cadet!
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Bridget, is it possible that, rather than being manipulative, the kid was just scared for some reason? Not necessarily of your kid, but maybe just having a bad day, and was feeling over whelmed and over stimulated and took it out on the nearest innocent bystander? It seems like he may be going through a rough patch... Like you, I hate to use "manipulative" with kids, so just trying to think it through... But he is old enough, that could be the case! I'm so soryr you are having to deal with that...
Suja, that is so sweet that she calls them brothers and sisters! Maiya is the same- she would LOVE an older brother. I'm not even sure I can give her a younger silbing (though I'm almost done with this BC, then on to another IUI *if* my body cooperates this time, yay!!), an older one is obviously imposible. Despite the heart break now, it's great she has older cousins and can have "surrogate siblings". Maiya only has one, and he's younger... And no worries, I'm sure that 24 hours of sleep will come soon! Not soon enough, of course, but soon-ish, at least...
Sorry I can't add much to the technology converstaion... I don't even know what Windows I'm using! I know I'm on IE, though...
Happy 11th Ky!! Wow, they grow so fast... Hope he feels better soon. And I read that in under two mins! Sorry about your stupid computer...
Bridget, hope that secular homeschool works out! What screams secular? Probably that you're nice, accepting, and logical... Oh wait, did I just imply that???
Mylah, well, first of all, why am I calling you Mylah and every one else calling you Myles?? I feel so lost! But really... Yeah, that situation seems very odd. Space cadet is one thing (I totally am!), but contacting only one member about a change in plans of a regular occuring event? That is fishy... I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of it!
Update on us, 'cause I know you all are dying to hear about our potty success! Maiya had her first ever out-and-about accident. "Luckily" it was a well contained poop, and she seemed to feel really bad about it. No accidents since! But, I'm worried she might be coming down with something. She's been much crankier than usual this evening. We went swimming today, and she seemed totally fine, but a few hours after coming back, she started acting "off". I feel so bad, like she must have been carrying something when we went, and maybe the cold made it worse...???
And, I've gotta share this somewhere! Maiya's latest thing when she pees is to sing "Who let the pee out, who, who who who?" CRACKS ME UP! I taught her the song, of course (I can't help but sing it every time we get to the "climb the ladder to... a dog party!" part of "Go dog. Go!"), but I did not ever associate it with peeing... She also just named one of her babies "TP House". To be fair, I don't know if it's T.P. like toilet paper, or teepee like a dwelling, but still... Entering the stage of potty humor already??
Whoo! Maiya is doing great on the potty training, and well in advance of the age Bodhi was at when he started. You go, girl! Really. Go now. Before you have an accident. LOL.
(Janet, my dad and a few other friends call me Myles, though you're right about my real name. It just makes me feel more comfortable online to go by Myles since my name is so distinct, and you'd easily find me if you Googled my name + Bodhi, so that's the name I tend to use. As well, it happens to be the name I give when I order a coffee at Starbucks because they would otherwise screw up my name. Oooh, reminds me I have a funny coffee house story, but it's too late. I'll tell it next chance I get. : D )
So, if you didn't already notice, I posted the Space Cadet question "out there" as a poll, but then I got an error when I actually went to create the poll, so it wasn't a true poll. I just thought it might be fun to start posting some of the ethical stuff we talk about in here out there to - y'know - liven things up a bit. Ethics are a lot more interesting to me when you have to base them on human reasoning and you're not guided by what's written in the scripture of the belief system you follow.
I kinda sorta wondered that too, but it was weird to me because those two seemed to have more of a connection than I had with Other Mom. It was just bizarre. And I confess...one of my half-hearted takeaways from the whole thing when it happened was the observation of how liberating it must be to be Surfer Mom and just not have it cross my mind that I should include Other Mom in the plans, and I kind of found myself wishing that I could be genuinely unconcerned about other people too.
Meh, but I am who I am. I can't help it if I'm the sexy empathetic beast that I am. LOL.
This. I see that situation as being more than space cadet.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
Myles - that wasn't space cadet behavior - that was rude. And I don't like how it left you holding the bag. It would be nice to have no guilt about how you treat others, but that would make you a not very nice person. ******Bridget - I can see you in Oregon in a hot minute! Or Arizona, but I can see you all duded up in fleece and muddy boots a little easier than desert wear. ********Happy birthday, Ky! I hope he feels better today. **********Go potty, Maiya! ***********I had lunch with another artist on Monday. We have talked about getting together more often to talk about goals, etc. But somehow whenever I talk to her about everything, I come away feeling panicked, negative, not good enough, not organized enough, etc. I don't think it it her, but my own reaction to what she is talking about. It just occurred to me that the problem may be that I am not fully committed to being an artist the way she can be right now. I am also taking web design and illustrator this semester in order to add web design to my resume and I also have a daughter (she is childless) so between those two, the amount of time I can devote to creation, thought, sketching, marketing, networking, photography, etc. is maybe four hours a week. There is simply not enough time to do it all. I guess I need to scale it back. I know I talk about doing that all the time, but then I have a show coming up or some other even that I need to get ready for and I can't seem to put it aside for long. Ergh. The only think I came away with that I can actually implement was that I need to put a door or curtain in the doorway of my studio that leads to the kitchen so that I don't actually have to see the dirty dishes that are three feet away that need to be done when I am in here trying to think! Of course now I need to decide whether I want a plain white curtain or patterned or colored, transparent or heavy, tension rod or screw-in fixture. There is just too much to think about in everything I am doing - too many details so I end up not doing anything at all.
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov
It's difficult when you have to juggle a household with a child in it, Katy. Your friend's life is luxury compared to yours. I think, if you continue to get together to talk about goals with your friend, you can still get something out of it, and - from the sounds of it - I think one of the recurring goals will be that you want to create a different routine/workspace for yourself that will help you to form new habits that lead to more productivity on your part. I think that's an admirable goal for anyone. Now to figure out how to implement it. Scaling back is one way. Are there any other efficiencies you can implement around the house to make it so you have less to do? I don't know - just spitballin', but can you bulk cook on weekends? Can you find a friend or two to swap meals, like a sort of a cooking co-op? Can you share childcare with a friend with a child J's age, so you'd watch her child with Jojo on some days, and your friend can watch J on other days? Those are just some thoughts.
Yeah, I hear what you guys are saying about the rudeness on the part of Surfer Mom. It's tough to know when to draw the line, but I do freely admit that my feelings changed about her after that incident. And now with the Jillian Michaels endorsement, I really don't know. LOL!
I do Jillian Michaels workouts at home during the winter months. I do like her workouts but she bugs the hell out of me so I keep it on mute and listening to her in a podcast would be like nails on a chalkboard. There was one case where I found her endearing and that was an article about how when her and her girlfriend had kids that she finally realized how stupid she sounded when she used to chastise her clients for putting their kids needs ahead of their own.
I'm way behind on the chat here! You all have been chatty cathys as usual.
Erin, I hope that Ky is feeling better! Did he have a good birthday?
Bridget, I read your choice of states, or I should say your dbf's choice of states, and I think out of those, I'd go with Florida. I think as I sit here looking out the window at the snow on the ground that I could use some tropical weather for a few years to balance out the bleak English weather that I have endured for the past 10 years. Hey, it will be 10 years in May that I've lived over here. I think I'll have to throw together a little party to celebrate. Another expat I know just threw a costume party for her ten year expativersary and people had to dress as famous Americans/Brits....maybe I'll do the same!
Cash is finally over the sickness bug, hallelujah! On Tuesday, Trav's school rang to say we needed to collect him because they thought he had an earache because he was holding his ear and looking sad. When I got home from work (MIL had collected him from school for me), we discovered that what it actually was was a scab in his ear at the top where your ear meets the rest of your head. I asked him how he got a scab there and after telling me 3 different people's names who stabbed him in the ear with a pencil, he confessed that he had stuck a pencil in his ear and it cut him. He really is in to story telling lately.
Myles, your surfer mom friend sounds like someone whom I don't think I could tolerate very much. Small doses, maybe.
Oh, and Bridget, that is really cool about the secular home schooling group. I think people can kind of tell when they have met someone with similar views. She must have known by how cool you are.
I am really tired today. The snow has been falling and we had a crazy day with the kids at school. The snow makes them crazy like a full moon does. I'm off all next week for what we call our half term, so I am looking forward to a week with all the boys. We've got lots of plans for the week, including a night away just DH and me.
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I was hoping our calendaring issues would be fixed today-they're not. In fact, we had another high-level exchange server guy remote in to see what was going on because he just couldn't believe what we were telling him, and despite telling him step-by-step what I was doing and his colleague standing right there agreeing I was doing it right, he insisted it just couldn't be possible. So he remoted it and did it himself...and got the same results. He asked, "How is that possible?" and I retorted, "That's why we're on the phone with you, so you can tell us. And fix it."
Long story short, after accusing us of going into the management tool and somehow associating an incorrect email address with our rooms (I don't even think it's possible for us to do this), they don't know whether it's worth it to try to fix the new rooms as they are, or start fresh, again. And this time not attempting to import any data but instead have our users go in and recreate each and every meeting that they have in these rooms.
In case you're not aware (and why would you be?) these 6 rooms are heavily used. There's barely 30 minutes between meetings for the next six months, and many meetings recur at least a year (a practice we're going to try to get them to stop).
I was absolutely flabbergasted and appalled when he tried to pin it on us. I asked, "Are you kidding!?" in my most snotty tone and walked away from the meeting. I didn't return for a good 10 minutes I was so pissed off. THEY created these rooms and manipulated managed the associated emails. The mistake was on their end.
On top of a 3rd horrible day (angry admin assists calling and yelling at me they need to schedule meetings right now!), I come home and Bobbie is all grumpy because apparently my dog got into the garbage and strung it all over the apartment. She's never done this before and I don't know why she'd start now, but really? So Bobbie didn't feel she had to do the dishes all day because she cleaned up the garbage. We had a huge row about that one. I didn't sit for a minute and barely had 20 minutes to wolf down my soup and I get to come home and do her dishes so I can cook myself dinner? Just because she had to spend 20 minutes picking up garbage?
She's seriously pissed at me because I made her do them. She asked if she had to do the pots and pans and I yelled at her that yes, she did, so I could cook! So she only did the pots and pans and left me 5 glasses, one coffee cup, and 4 bowls. Yep. Picking up garbage was so stressful on her she couldn't manage to finish up that little bit.
I'm beyond ticked off at this day.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Yikes, yikes, yikes, Chrissy. Bobbie is sounding a little bit bratty and entitled from what you describe. *Hugs, mama.* The sullen years will pass. I had some similarities to Bobbie at that age, and all I can say is... she will come around once she gets to feeling like she's more in control of her life. Then get ready, because she'll realize just how awesome you've been all this time. But that day can't come soon enough.
You also don't need the admins getting all up in your shorts about their calendaring mistakes. What wusses. I'd be so annoyed too if I were you.
Ash - "expativersary"? I love it! That's my new favorite word of the day. My most recent favorite word before that (which I picked up at work) is "pharmacovigilance".
Bridget, I'm actually really curious about Jillian Michael's workouts, since I know people who do them, and they're mentioned in the same league as workouts like "Insanity" and "P90x". So I don't know anything about her workouts. I'm sure her abilities as a trainer are to be looked at separately from her public persona. Thanks for the reminder to clean those podcasts off my iPod. LOL.
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Oh it's not their mistakes. Our system has been fubared for a good, long time. "They" (exchange team) were going to fix it for us by creating new calendars for our conference rooms, but "they" made it worse. My admins still need to schedule meetings....everything we do is centered around donors to the university, some of them high level, multi-million dollar donations so it's a big deal to them when they thought they had a room reserved (along with catering and all that jazz) and then find someone else is in 'their' room.
And they haven't been able to schedule anything all week, but they still have the pressure to arrange these meetings. It's the focal point of our business and everyone is nearly crippled without access to the calendars. Screaming at me, however, isn't going to fix it any faster. :/ I don't think they fully understand what we're dealing with though.
Another user pissed me off because I only had one other tech available to handle calls and the normal help desk tickets that were coming in. He was in a remote session with someone and the phone rang. I was waiting for CIT to do something, so I grabbed it quick. The user admitted she'd just spoken with Randall and if he was still available she had a question. I informed her that he was currently busy but I'd give him the message to return her call as soon as he could and she said, "Oh, that's ok, you can probably help." I said, "No, actually I'm in the midst of a crisis right now so if you could wait for Randall that would be great." She asked me her mundane question that wasn't urgent anyway, and so I curtly said, "Randall can help you with that. I'll let him know you called." and I hung up.
What part of "I'm handling a crisis right now" is unclear?
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Oh, man, Chrissy. That is bad.
I'm about to beat my head against a wall because - OMG - I did something different at work! Like, I didn't do things exactly the same way we do them for every other child, and apparently nobody can deal with it.
Legally, I am required to make placement decisions based on what is called Least Restrictive Environment (LRE). For most kids, LRE is a regular classroom placement. Resource support is more restrictive, but for some kids that is their LRE that will allow them to benefit from their education. For more involved kids, a self-contained setting might be LRE for that child - but we have to start with what is closest to "typical" and gradually work away from a regular classroom. But for preschoolers - there is no public funded preschool here so LRE is whatever that kid's typical environment might be. For some kids, LRE is their daycare or preschool (private or something like a Head Start). Other kids are at home all day and we might offer just a weekly session with the speech therapist. Other kids might get a preschool special ed classroom, depending on their need.
Saw a little girl recently who is in a special preschool for children with a language delay. It's actually part of the university's training program for SLPs so there are speech therapy grad students on site providing therapy, and also many of the teacher's aids are undergrad students hoping to be accepted into the program. The staff are all have degrees in early childhood education. It's a great preschool, and the little girl I saw is making good progress. But continues to need speech therapy.
So I argued that she was thriving in her current setting and should stay there. We want to offer speech, but the preschool won't let us sent our staff in there - because they are a training program and provide their own speech services on site, they won't let us on the property. So I argued that she should go to her school for speech and for PT (she doesn't walk well, either). The PT said that was fine, no problem.
EVERYONE has been giving me grief about this. Another kid with similar issues would have had a place in our special ed preschool. I am arguing that by pulling her out of where her parents chose to send her, we are violating her LRE (against the law). We don't make decisions about LRE based on what services she might need - we make them on a case-by-case basis. Nope, people keep wanting me to put her in our program. Sorry, not LRE. Not to mention that by moving her to one of our preschools, she would lose access to the speech therapy services she is getting there because they run at the same time.
Then we argue back and forth about who is in charge - since she has no "classroom" she doesn't have a teacher, but the speech therapist can't be her case manager because she also has PT. Figure it out, people. Then we argue about place codes. Again, figure it out people.
Have the meeting, mother is THRILLED she will stay where she is, and happy to drive her over for speech and PT. Thrilled. Thanked me multiple times and kept shaking my hand. (I won an argument with my partner on that one - who thought we should offer our preschool because it would have been free. Not what parents wanted. They have money).
Then we get a call from our our staff who checks compliance. "Wait, why is she getting speech and PT at her neighborhood school? Shouldn't she be in a preschool program?" She is. Her parents' choice.
Then I get another call from the nurse. "Is XXX going to the preschool at Dxxxx?" No, she's going there just for speech and PT. "Put we can't provide PT in that model." Yes, we can. I checked with the lead PT. "So she's at XXXX and then comes to us for speech and PT?" Yes. "Oh, that's what it says right here." Yes, that's what it says right there. That's why we wrote that, and not something completely different.
Seriously - I make one decision that is based on a child's needs and everybody comes to a screeching halt because they can't figure out how to deal with it. It's called the law, people!
Last edited by Gwenn; 02-13-2013 at 05:58 PM.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Myles, that's so funny. I have, like, a pathological fear of being a b!tch unintentionally. I regularly ruminate on what it must be like to be one of those people who just does. not. care. They must feel so free by not worrying about other people's feelings. Man, wouldn't it be nice to just not give a crap?
But I could never do it. Even if I convinced myself at the time that I could, I'd end up waking up in a cold sweat at 3 a.m. some night 20 years in the future, guilt tripping like crazy. I mean, I still feel bad about the time I was 8 and I told my aunt Alma that we already had the game she gave us as a present.
-- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09
Mandy, don't you just want to shake people sometimes! I find so often people who want to make the simplest matters so complicated!
Well, it seem that Albuquerque, New Mexico is now on the list. Dbf gets really manic about new ideas so he is basically obsessed with this right now. I hear him on the phone about it with the guy he'd be partnering up with and it's all he talks about. I do not start to think of it as a reality right away the way he does because it's kind of always something with him. He has to have a big "thing" to focus on. I am open to moving but I keep telling him that he better keep me in the loop for cripes sake (ah! My dad always said 'cripes sake!') I hate overhearing conversations on his end, things we haven't discussed yet.
This four year old girl I take care of is such a trip you guys! She has this baby doll and first of all it's huge so she puts Sawyer's clothes on it. They are too big but she says that is fine because her baby will grow. She takes it everywhere with us. It has to come to the table and sit with us and often needs a plate. She nurses it when I nurse Sawyer. When I carry Sawyer on my hip, this baby is on her hip. When we were at the nature center yesterday she said, "This baby is getting so heavy. I am going to need to bring Sawyer's stroller next time." Lol! I don't even bring his stroller for him! I told her maybe if she doesn't want to carry her baby she can leave it with our coats and she said, "Or she can just learn to walk." Hahahaha! She is such a hoot.
I had a text today from a former parent who took her son out to enroll him in 4k wondering if he could come back here and join our homeschool mornings until the end of the school year. This is the 3rd child that I have had that started 4k only to bring them back. I don't know if I'm more touched that they have so much faith in me or sad that 4k must not be a good experience around here. These are all very traditional families that are amazed that I'd homeschool so I am pretty surprised. And flattered. All three of these kids were under 2 when they started with me! This particular boy was 10months old and one of my first enrollments when i opened.
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Bridget, it doesn't surprise me that they're coming back to you (or trying to!). Are you going to accept him?
Mandy, that is so frustrating! Are they all such sheep that the second someone does something just a wee bit different, their world is in turmoil? You'd think that that situation was clearly the best fit for the child, and after all, isn't that supposed to be their ultimate goal? I'm kinda proud you're my friend. They're the kind of details everyone in that job should know, but apparently most people don't.
Myles, I wouldn't want to be totally clueless about other people's feelings. I'm sure I've inadvertently been hurtful. I think we're all capable.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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I must say, as much as I've whined and complained about my job and how hectic it is, and now it's went into turbo-charged chaos, I'm kinda liking it now. This issue is a huge deal, but I'm in the thick of it and pointing out to our exchange team their mistakes. I started this sh!tstorm. My first email to them went out 8/27 and for 2 or 3 months they tried to deny there was a problem. I insisted there was and kept hounding and houding and got my upper management to go over their heads. It's a big ole mess now, but I was right all along. And I was right this week when I kept saying there were still issues with the new calendars.Go me.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Go you, indeed!
Yeah, I am going to take him. I can't say no! Well, I did say no to the brother who is Sawyer's age. There is just no possible way that I can have another toddler around here. Sawyer is all i can handle. The older kids are easy as far as I'm concerned. And all children who are not mine have to go home after lunch! I'm not doing afternoon care. We need the afternoons to ourselves.
I meant to comment on the comment about being afraid of being beyotch. I am always paranoid that I'm talking too much when I see my friends and even my dad and brother since I don't get much adult interaction. My brother assures me this is not true so I am just going to take his word for it! I wouldn't want to be oblivious to other people's feelings either. I think that dbf is. And not always on purpose. It makes me cringe the way he will say stuff to my dad that would be fine to say to someone else but just not my dad. It's like he cannot acclimate to the company he is in. I can and I am glad for that. Not that I am not myself. But i can be myself quietly.
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For me, it's not even about being able to be myself. I am that with people that really know and love me. For others, I may reserve a thought because I don't want to create an uncomfortable situation for them. It's called compassion. And manners. And all that good stuff.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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Uh...I am taken to a 'page cannot be displayed' page when I try to edit my siggy. I just realized I haven't updated Syd's age to 14 and now I can't.
http://americanpregnancy.org/forums/...=editsignature
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Yes, Chrissy, I've noticed that's another casualty of the site crash.
And thanks so much! I'm glad to have you as a friend, too.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
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Yes, Chrissy, I've noticed that's another casualty of the site crash. And thanks so much! I'm glad to have you as a friend, too.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I feel for all of you who are stressed at work.I kind of get your DBF Bridget in being obsessive about an idea or project. I'm like that...except I keep my DH mostly in the loop. I just really like having an idea I'm plotting out or a project I'm working on. Recent years have gone from building the house, the adoption, the puppy. I'm kind of projectless right now. Only two smaller ones......the nursery and our vacation. Kind of drives him a bit crazy because he gets tired of talking about it and thinking that a subject is finished.....and suddenly I am changing it up again. Speaking of the nursery, I think that I have finally gotten my way. We had been disagreeing so much about wood for the room and stuff matching....I finally have him around to the idea of just going to Ikea and getting everything there. Spend a few hundred instead of over 2K. That way we can redo the room in a few years and he or she can help pick out the room. He was thinking of getting going for real on the room in June because he has a feeling the call will come this summer or fall. We got about 5 inches of snow overnight. It's so pretty as it's the heavy kind that clings to the trees. But the crazy thing is the canceled school. I don't really know why, at least in the city, the roads were fine this morning.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
This no updating signatures and no paragraphs thing is super annoying.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
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