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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #38551
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    That really is incredibly frustrating L. I don't know what I'd do if I had a runner to that extent. That's really scary.

    Have you cleared your cache? Restarted your computer? Is it just on this message board that you can't make paragraphs?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #38552
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I cleared my cache last night and turned off my computer. This morning I couldn't do paragraphs. I haven't tried writing on other sites - and I have to go to a business meeting now.


  3. #38553
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    Hmm...are you using a special color forum, or the default one? I looked (briefly) for other settings but couldn't locate any.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #38554

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    Janet, I second the Potette. It's been a lifesaver for us on a number of occasions when she was newly trained and terrified of big public restrooms. I've carried it to the fair, seaworld, fisherman's wharf, the zoo... it's light, compact and discreet.
    And big congrats to Maiya!!!
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  5. #38555

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    Paragraph testing...Yup, seems to be working okay. Sorry you're having issues Lydia!On second thought, it looked okay until I hit post and then it got rid of my paragraphs. Odd..We are hanging around watching tv and playing games and stuff. DH is darn near intolerable.
    Last edited by daylilies; 02-09-2013 at 02:08 PM.

  6. #38556
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    I'm drinking strawberry cider and watching Source Code. We just had some Chinese chicken and noodles (it's the new year tomorrow!) It's been a looooong day!

  7. #38557

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    Sorry, Kate, about dh. And Ash, about your long day.We went to a winter fest with sleigh rides and sledding. It was cool but for Kai who was unspeakably grumpy. That boy was working to keep a scowl on his face.Lydia, is it cruel to even suggest you take out the other two children so that R truly feels as if his behavior is causing him to miss out? Perhaps it does not feel as if he is losing anything if no one goes.

  8. #38558

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    No paragraphs for me either, apparently.

  9. #38559

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    L, I like Bridget's idea, as cruel as it seems. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. How incredibly frustrating and stressful.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  10. #38560
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    I've had to leave Conner behind because he wasn't behaving well in stores. We're just now getting to where he can go with me on occasion. He's not perfect yet, but he's gotten better.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #38561

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    I'm sorry L. It sounds like he doesn't see how dangerous it can be. I wouldn't know what to do about that either. I'd probably try to get as much as possible done without him. I had to do that when Josh was in a phase where he'd always melt down in stores. I think he was 3 or 4. I had to get everything done while he was at preschool so I wouldn't have to take him.

  12. #38562
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Well, R. would benefit from being left at home alone with either my mom or dh, or even (last place) me. He likes 1:1 attention, and he also likes alone time when he isn't bothered by his siblings. So even if we did something fun without him because he runs away, he would not feel like he was having natural consequences bestowed upon him as a punishment, and would probably enjoy it. Even if he had to stay in his room.---------------------------------New Paragraph------------------------ The other thing is that despite how infuriating it can be, dh reminds me that I should try to think of it as a lack of impulse control and that he may just really be unable to help it because he really cannot see the consequences. He (dh) gets really frustrated sometimes too, but he said it might be helpful for me to think of it as a neurological problem, and a lack of brain function/development, rather than just an unwillingness to behave. And it's probably true, to some degree. Executive function often develops later with boys, so it's easier to compare a 5-year-old boy to a 4-year-old girl in terms of attentiveness and organization. But again, with that in mind, and the idea that he just may not be able to help himself at all, and doesn't care about anything we do (I've reminded him again and again that we can't do fun things as a group when he runs away, and often that means that we have to stay home or go to 'safe' places because I don't have anyone else to watch him at home or be the second on duty on an outing), it feels like any actual discipline we do might be unhelpful or mean. And any strategies I try to use with him are useless because he doesn't seem to be motivated about NOT running away, despite the loss of privileges and the peer pressure from his siblings about the lack of fun activities. We also praise him when he does listen and he does stay nearby, of course, and when we do have successful outings.


  13. #38563

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    Thanks everyone! I am so excited. I really didn't think she was this close. I knew that when it happened it would be fast, but I expected a few more months. I even just bought a new stash of toddler sized cloth diapers just a few months ago! They haven't even paid for themselves in savings yet, hah.

    I am a bit worried about her pooping. It's been 5 days now, and she pooped once in the potty, and once in her diaper in the middle of the night. I'm hoping that will just take a little more practice, too...

    L, when you say I can probably have it, does that mean S still uses it? If so, don't worry about it. But if you aren't using it, sure, I would love to try it! Either way, thanks for the offer.

    Ashley, sorry about Travis... I agree with ignoring. Or, can you pinpoint a reason he's acting up? Over tired? Understimulated? Stressed about something? Maybe just ask him? Maiya is normally very very friendly and social, but if she isn't at her peak, she does a lot of stuff like that. She also sticks out her tongue "to be silly" and can't yet comprehend that it is rude, though, so who am I to give advice??

    L, I know R is older, and maybe I'll be lynched for even suggesting this... But have you tried a leash? Not a harness type back or something that would be easy for him to take off, but even just a rope tied around him?? Maybe not at school where he would be humiliated in front of his peers, but maybe just as reinforcement of the idea. Even with what your husband said about maybe he just isn't able to control his impulses yet, maybe something like this would help to keep him safe until he can. I don't know, I only have a two year old who LOVES her harness back pack... Oh, and I've trained a bunch of dogs, who, if they run off, I put them on leash...

    So far, as I'm typing, my paragraphs look fine, but we'll see what happens once I hit submit reply!



  14. #38564
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    L, I agree with your DH. I suspect R can't control his impulses yet, and running away from Mommy is so - much - fun!

    Have you tried turning things around, and rather than negative consequences for running, giving him positive consequences for NOT running? Sometimes that can make all the difference. You mentioned he isn't motivated to not run away. With enough positive motivation, possibly things can change.

    Oh, and the amazing news - it SNOWED here today! After all my bragging about 80 degrees. I don't think any fell at my house, since I woke up to raindrops on the ground around 8:30, but several local friends were posting comments and pics about snow here. I think it was mainly just outside of town at a slightly higher elevation, but right here in the city center I didn't see any. Still - SNOW!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #38565

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    No paragraphs for me either!>>>>>>>>>>>Hey! popping in to say hello! Staying up far too late working on JoJo's valentines for next week. It's a hack of a pinterest idea- I will have to post a photo of it when I am done. Cute! >>>>>>>>>>L - a runner like that is scary. I might invest in one of those monkey leashes that cause debates on here - better safe than sorry. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>The in-laws are in town this weekend. Not too bad at this point. J is sleeping at the hotel with them so I am going to sleep a little late tomorrow so feel like I can stay up until 2 am tonight (even though I shouldn't). I have been working on my classes (Adobe Illustrator and Web Design) and at the same time I am trying to get ready for an Easter show. A guy who came by for my open studio show in November bought a goose egg (more expensive) and then contacted me again at Christmastime saying he was going to be in town and wanted to look at them again so he came by with his partner and a friend of theirs and they bought a couple more expensive eggs. Then they asked me if I would be interested in doing a house show with them - they are inviting 100 of their art buying friends to come to their house to view my art. They will provide all food, drink, etc. and pay for printing the invitations and mailing them and I will give them 25% of pre-tax earnings. It's a great deal for me because I get exposure to a large art buying crown in Houston, where people actually spend a lot of money on art, and I only have to give them 25% (most galleries charge 50%). So of course I am feeling like I don't have enough good eggs and need to make some more and could have done a lot of good work tonight but instead I have spent the past few hours designing the packaging for JoJo's valentines.It's 1:20, so I really do need to go to bed or it will be 3 a.m. and I will be way too tired tomorrow! >>>>>>>>>>>>>I hope everyone has a great weekend.
    Last edited by girlwonder; 02-10-2013 at 01:24 AM.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  16. #38566

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    Oh and maybe instead of looking on it as a punishment to keep him home then just go with it - he gets some alone time with the other parent and the other parent gets a less stressful outing. I know you can't do it all the time, but it seems like it would be less stressful for everyone. Then in a month or two give it another try and see how his neural development has come along. It's not punishment, just a recognition that he isn't at that level yet.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  17. #38567

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    I really should make an effort to post in here more often. Janet I'm so happy for Maiya! I can't believe she PT'd so easily!Lydia, I don't know what I would do if I had been in that situation. M ran off at a thrift store the other day. We were the only people in the shop (it was a very small one) and she just kept running and hiding in all the clothes and stuff from us. I got onto her real bad but it scared the **** out of me.No paragraphs for me either...
    Karen (28), DF (28), DD (3), DS (2 months)


    Beanpop's Fluffy Butt Diapers *GRAND RE-OPENING 3/13*

  18. #38568
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    Oh and maybe instead of looking on it as a punishment to keep him home then just go with it - he gets some alone time with the other parent and the other parent gets a less stressful outing. I know you can't do it all the time, but it seems like it would be less stressful for everyone. Then in a month or two give it another try and see how his neural development has come along. It's not punishment, just a recognition that he isn't at that level yet.
    I think this is also a good way of looking at it.

    Katy, that's amazing news about your house show! Good luck!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #38569
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    Katy-that's a wonderful opportunity for you!! I'm so excited on your behalf I really wish I could be there just to bask in the glory of my friend's success. I used Google Hangout for the first time with sandersmommy last night. Kim (her real name) had used it before and put these cute cartoon hats on for Conner. She told me it was the effects so I pulled that tab up. The first screen was just sounds, but Conner came right over and immediately knew to click the arrow to get to the hat choices (and other things). As always, I was super impressed with his computer knowledge. He had a lot of fun with that. And I love Hangout because you can video chat with multiple people at the same time.Oh, and I signed Conner up for little league. We're all excited about that too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #38570
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    And crud, I used to be able to make paragraphs and that time it didn't work. Huh.Test 2nd paragraph3rd

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #38571
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    123

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #38572
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    Wth?!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #38573
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Congrats to you, Katie, on the egg coup (I really wanted to write coop)! How nice to get a private showing.---------------------I have noticed some other people can do paragraphs. I wonder if it's browser dependent. I use Firefox, but at this point it would be a huge pain for me to switch browsers because I couldn't log in when the site first came up and I had to do a password reset and it sent me a jumble of gibberish as a password and I can't go into my settings and change it to something easier to type in. So now I can just log in on my desktop, on my usual browser, where my randomly-generated password is saved.--------------------When we do split up the kids, many times it's R. alone with DH while I take the other two, or the twins with DH while I take S., and if we're going anyplace that has crowds, like a museum or a zoo, I put ID bands on everyone (little velcro bracelets with our phone numbers inside). DD is definitely the easiest, so she often is the second person along with R. or S., since she follows directions and helps with the other ones. The only annoying thing is that sometimes R. tries to dismantle his ID bracelet and remove the phone number from inside, but so far I've only seen him do it in the car. And we've been doing it this way for years. He's always been a runner. C. used to run too, but not for long. The twins used to run in opposite directions as soon as they were able to run, when we were outside. They got a series of time-outs, and it stuck with C, and she also gets anxious now when she doesn't see me. R. just seems to be getting worse lately.


  24. #38574
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    I wish I had some helpful advice. I might be tempted to try the 'leash' but I dunno about that either...he's a bit older. I did use one on Conner. Mostly when we went to AZ. Even though I had the girls to help, he was 2 and prone to run at times. Not only were we in an unfamiliar place the whole trip, but some of the places we visited were not safe for a 2 year old to be running. The cliffs where the Indian dugouts were and a cavern with sheer drop-offs.I seem to have suddenly lost my ability to make paragraphs. It was working just fine for me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  25. #38575
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    Wonder if I can do it?

    New paragraph.

    And again.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #38576
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    Hmm. Works fine for me.

    I'm using Chrome.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #38577
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    WITCH! I didn't do anything except restart my computer. :/Wait-This is my PC. Maybe the last time I posted paragraphs, I was on my Mac? I'm using Google Chrome on both.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #38578
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    Could be a PC / Mac thing.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #38579
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    I used leashes when they were younger, at airports, at Yellowstone, and a few places in Mexico along water. It would be hard to do it after school or in playgrounds. Plus a lot of times he runs right when we're getting in the car, so I'd be taking of the leash at that point anyway. He is old enough to be able to unbuckle it on his own, anyway. He doesn't do it enough to warrant full-time use. He is fine most of the time.


  30. #38580
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    I was thinking it would be hard to use a leash at school pick up, as he could run before you got it on.

    Have you tried working to earn a reward for not running?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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