It's such a helpless feeling to be unable to comfort your child.
Is there a way to give a 2 year old alone time? Mine are all like leeches on my at that age. Who are these children people speak of that are calm and mellow? None of mine are like that. You'd think out of 3 I'd have one sweet quiet little cherub.
Bridget, I missed that you were reading to her from that book. That's cool! Maybe I should try that with Josh, see if he relates to any of it. I'm glad it's helping both of you understand her.
For the past 6 months or so she has been coming to me when I am reading and asking me to read it outloud to her. Luckily, lately, it's almost always curriculum, or Richard Dawkins, or parenting stuff so I'm fine to share. A few days ago I was reading the section in my curriculum book about teaching economics in the first grade and I ended up reading most of it aloud to her. She was like, "You don't have to do any of those activities with me mom. I totally understand it already." Lol. It's always gotta be her way.
Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks?
Hopelessly Devoted
R. has been driving both me and dh crazy lately. It doesn't help that he has been the only person in our whole house that hasn't been sick this week. But today I called in sick to work again, and the twins were off from school, so I took them out to a playground to meet some friends. They ran around and played and had a lovely time. Then the friends left, we had some snacks, and R. took off and ran where I couldn't see him and wouldn't return. I don't like this particular playground for the reason that it's not enclosed and it has a lake right next to it and because R. tends to run away and hide. Anyway, I followed R. and he and C. climbed trees for a bit, and then I said it was time to go. I started walking to the car, and R. ran off, away to the lake again.
Many times when R. runs off, I either hold his hand for a while ("You have to stay close to me"), or he would be given 1-2 warnings and then we would leave. Now, though, it often happens as we're leaving so it doesn't matter if we leave. He also talks a lot about wanting to be a spy when he grows up, so he tries to be super-sneaky and hide or dart about. Nothing seems to work with him.
Today, I asked him why he ran away. He said it was because he didn't want to leave. I told him that his actions didn't make a difference in whether or not we left. It just made a difference in how I felt when we were leaving. We left a minute later than I wanted to, with me being disappointed in his behavior and with him showing a pattern of not being able to listen to my directions. I talked to him about how I would like to be able to take all 3 of my kids to really fun places like the Monterey Bay Aquarium, or the California Academy of Sciences, or other fun museums, but I find it impossible because of his pattern of running off. I told him that we can only go to those places when I have other adults to help me, so we can't go as often. I talked to him about how his brain lets him know that it would be really great to stay at the park, but that there is another smarter part of his brain that should be telling him to think things through, and think about what would really happen if he ran away--would he get what he wanted, or would he get in trouble?
After all that, he told me he hoped I would die so he wouldn't have to follow my rules. I told him he would still have to follow rules, but they might not be my rules. They might be other rules, and he might not have as many nice things without me. Then he told me, "You're not the boss of me!"
We are both so discouraged. The last time I went to a large museum, I had 4 adults with 3 kids. I had my mom shadowing R. since S. was newly potty-trained and I was taking him to the bathroom a lot, and she said it was too difficult to keep up with him. DH has suggested giving him a little bit more freedom, but that has not helped. He just runs farther and faster.
------------------
Oh, and Bridget, Sawyer's fit-pitching sounds really familiar to me.
Last edited by 3andMe; 02-01-2013 at 09:50 PM.
Our baby is 3 years old already!
Aw, thanks all!
I, obviously, loved Rainbow Brite as a kid. Honestly, though, I think part of why it became such a favorite was that we made up all sorts of stories with all the characters we watched (like Maiya and I do now!), and one of our favorites to use was Rainbow Brite- and her made up sister, Not So Brite. Even now I crack up thinking about how ridiculous our stories were!
Wish I had a good answer for you, but this is left over from when I was a kid! I had SO MUCH of the Rainbow Brite stuff, I was so spoiled. We were relatively poor- mostly because my mom LOVES to buy people stuff. Even now she's horrible at it... I mean, she's super super sweet and wonderful and all, but she just likes to give people stuff. Needless to say, I ended up with this comforter, a blanket, the Starlight doll, the Rainbow Brite doll, the toothbrushes, the phone, the Christmas record... I don't still have them all, but we do bring out that Rainbow Brite Christmas record every Christmas!Originally Posted by AmeriBrit
It's just funny, because I'm trying really hard to keep "characters" out of our house. We have no main stream character anything, except for one Hello Kitty pair of PJs her other Grandma got her this last Christmas. But, I'm ok with non-main stream ones, so my old Rainbow Brite stuff and some from Japan, like An Pan Man, are ok with me. Is that weird?? I just don't want her innundated, ya know. So the PJs are ok, because no one else sees them. We don't have strangers on the street telling her "Oh, that's Hello Kitty!". She can refer to the kitty as Petunia if she wants, and no one will try to "correct" her. I guess that's my pet peeve!
So, do you mind if I ask where you are? Sounds like a decent place!
Oh, we are the same way!! If we have to stay inside, we go nuts. Especially Maiya. In fact, just the other day I posted a video to Facebook that went something like this:
Maiya: I'm probably not happy.
Me: Why aren't you happy?
Maiya: I think I need to get out of this house.
Yup, that's my two year old!!
Why are you stuck inside? Weather? Busy? Sick? Hope you get out soon!
I've never been a big TV watcher. Rainbow Brite as a kid, and X-Files as a teen / young adult / whatever age I was at the time. I can't even remember now, hah. And I COMPLETELY agree with you. In fact, I just watched it last night (yay Netflix!), and it was the Lazarus Bowl one... Good times, good times!
You ladies have any good plans for the weekend? I think we're going to redo Maiya's crib (which is currently side carred, she's never EVER slept in it as a crib) in to a toddler bed. She never knew it was separate, until I pulled them apart the other day. I mentioned it's her big girl bed, and she went NUTS. She LOVES that thing now, and it's identical to how it's been her whole life!!
So, we're going to show her what it can be, and let her choose what she wants to try. I'm actually worried it might mess up her sleep, and she's not a great sleeper, but there's a chance it could be good for her, so we'll take the gamble. Wish us luck!
Last edited by Krystal5; 02-01-2013 at 11:17 PM.
Man, took me too long to write that last response, you guys are active and I missed a lot!
Bridget, I'm sorry S has been so rough. Maiya does need alone time, but she does not like it- until I pretty much force it on her. She usually has a bit of a fit, but then will start playing very happily, and come back happier. For example, I tell her, I am... doing the dishes, or whatever, she can either help nicely or go play by herself. She often will want to "help", and ask me to play with her constantly, until I tell her "No, go play." But then she will get bored and go play, and we're all happier for it. I find I have to be doing something REALLY boring and allow her to try to do it with me, before she will move on to her own thing. Could you try something like that?
L, that's heartbreaking, I'm so sorry... The most I've got from Maiya is "Go away Momma, I want you to go away." I think I will cry the first time she says that to me... I'd tell you the whole spiel about "they do love you, their emotions are just too strong... Yada yada yada", but I think you know it... Doesn't make it any easier, I'm sure. Especially with being sick on top of it all... R is really a sweet kid, you are doing great job raising him. He's just a typical kid, and mom always gets the worst of it...
Maybe try a shock collar???
Oh, speaking of collars... Jennifer, I think you mentioned something about my 50+ ticks comment... Trust me, that is rare! And we generally know when it will be bad (if he goes through the thick brush during the height of tick season), so we are relatively prepared. Still gross, though!! I just don't let it stop us from going on our hikes. Partially because I was in search and rescue, and *I* had to go through that so often, they just went hand in hand, and it wasn't a big deal. I'm not active now, but I hope to join again when Maiya is older and I have more time.
But yeah, between the ticks and poison oak, we have NO dogs on the bed, EVER!!
Last edited by Krystal5; 02-01-2013 at 11:18 PM.
Janet, I live in northern England. I grew up in Arkansas but moved to Yorkshire when I met my husband 10 years ago. I love that the idea of guns here is so foreign. I cringe at the news lately when they've been showing gun enthusiasts screaming about how they'll die before anyone takes their guns away.
I'm sorry to hear about all the troubles with little ones running away and being defiant. I am all too familiar with that!
I don't think I told you guys I'm taking Josh to rehearsals for a local kids production of the Lion King. They're doing shortened versions of the songs and doing a little story to go with it (it's close to the actual story but much more basic and I don't think they're portraying Mufasa's or Scar's deaths). Josh got the role of Scar. It's been a little challenging to help him learn his lines because he can't read fluently, and his song is pretty difficult, but he's doing a great job.
Last edited by daylilies; 02-02-2013 at 08:21 AM.
Wow, Kate! That sounds really exciting! What a good part to have! That's really cool that Josh is in to theatre. I think as Travis gets older, he'll be more in to choir and theatre than sports.
Senior Geek
Hopelessly Devoted
I have no idea. I'm sure you've tried everything. Do you think he needs a nap at that point? Or just skip the story with him altogether. Lay down with him and get him sleeping before reading to the others? Just tossing out ideas...
L, that's incredibly frustrating. I think you're doing the right thing and really, the only thing that will finally get through to him is continuously reminding him and talking to him. Either that will soak in, or the phase will eventually pass anyway, but it will end.
Conner told me he wasn't my son any more because he had another accident while playing a game and I told him I was taking the computer away for a whole week. They have an instinct, I think, about which words can wound the most.
I did some geeky tweaking and got that HP Touchsmart fixed with Windows 8 on it. I loaded a profile for Conner, configured his game server, and he just took off. It's "laggy" because I had to use an old driver for the graphics card. The updated one crashes the computer. It's a known issue with this model, but apparently HP isn't doing anything about it and the NVIDIA driver that is available from their site isn't compatible with any HP machines. HP kinda sucks, I have to say. The computer is probably 5-6 years old but the hardware is still pretty good. It was at the high end 'back then' so it should be sufficient to do anything we'd want to do...if only there was an updated driver I could use so the graphics didn't freak out.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I'm gonna be a Gramama!
Dh and i were watching x-files for a while but there was one in I think maybe season 3 that was with a ton of spiders and we got grossed out and stopped watching. Yet we have no problems watching Dexter. LOL
I am reading this book that just came out...it's the last of a YA trilogy called Shades of Earth. I loved the first two books but I REALLY love this last one and that I cannot predict it.
Bridget, are you getting outside today? Sun is out and it's not windy! I just came in after taking the dogs out and was thinking that it felt fairly warm....and checked the temp and realized it was a whole five degrees out there. Felt like 25 after the -35 wind chill we had the other day. LOL It was great to get the girls out and let them run around a little while....especially for Molly. Now she's sleeping by the fire and nice and quiet while DH is sleeping (he had to work last night).
I don't know how you all with multiple kids do it. I was talking to MIL for 90 minutes last night about how we are concerned about taking care of one baby. I work days and DH works nights. We cannot afford full-time day care and that it's ideal anyway. She said don't worry, if we need her, she's so here. Quick brief for our new friends...my MIL is about to turn 62 and lives in Chicago but her husband asked for a divorce two years ago. They are still married but live apart because the house is a bit underwater and she can stay on his health insurance. Grandpa is 92 and lives alone in Milwaukee. He has two sons who also live in Milwaukee that are retired. they think MIL should move to Milwaukee to take care of grandpa and her one brother that never married. She lived most her life there and has friends there. Dh is her only kid and she really wants to be with us...we are about 4 hours from Milwaukee and much closer to the twin cities. We have talked a lot about one option being that she moves in with us. Our basement is studded and plumbed for a family room, bedroom and bathroom. it's also already insulated and has two full size windows so it wouldn't be too bad to finish it off.
anyway we are thinking that it might be good to have her here to help take the baby so DH can get some sleep during the day sometimes and just help out.
Now my puppy is growling at the wild turkies outside....don't blame her as one is almost in her yard. Such a little hunter....is only she would go after the gopher this summer!
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
Jennifer, I always thought that 2 kids were going to be harder than having one, but actually now that they are older and playing together more, it's actually a lot easier than having one. I have a friend who has an only child and he always needs her attention (because he has no one to play with) whereas my 2 ask each other to play and I can get quite a bit done around the house. It's great. I am glad I decided to have 2, even though going through the sleepless nights and diaper changes is hard!
Senior Geek
Hopelessly Devoted
I second that, it's actually easier when you have 2 than 1. I don't know why, but that's how it worked out for me.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Thanks Ash, I hope he likes it. He hasn't really been into the sports we've put him in and I just want him to try everything. I'd love it if he were into theatre and chorus and stuff because that's what I was into.
I can see that. I wouldn't be worried if I knew one of us could stay at home a while...or even if we were 10 years younger. It's the lack of sleep that is scary and I think DH might get the worst of it being that he sleeps during the day AND is a light sleeper. Daycare is out as it would be about the same as my house payment....we do alright but don't have that much extra each month (and don't have a lot of areas to cut like cell phones and extras). Plus I know my health insurance will almost double going to the family plan. Dh works in manufacturing and they haven't had a raise really since 2007 and had actually had a decrease so we cannot count on that. I don't want DH to get hurt at work because he is too tired. It will definitely be helpful if his mom came up.....we don't have any family around right now and don't like it.
I had always planned on two kids but was supposed to be done about two years ago. Life had other plans I guess because we are almost certainly just having the one.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
That sounds like fun Kate! That is a good idea to try out different sorts of things and see what he likes.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks?
Hopelessly Devoted
I have 8 tabs open on my browser with summer camp listings, and I am freaking out. I had a reminder on my computer calendar at the beginning of January to start looking into summer camps, but I've been too busy and sick and overwhelmed, and thought I had a little more time. Anyway, I just emailed the other parents in kindergarten to see what they were doing and some of them are already signed up and I found out that the early-bird discounts are going away either today or this week for a lot of the camps. Some of the more popular ones fill up by the end of this month.
That's not the worst of it. Looks like they are about $300-$350 per week, per child. That's from 9 am - 3 pm, not including lunch. I knew it was expensive, but I don't think I really did the math before. In another few years, I'll need to add a third child to the summer camp costs, and any sibling discounts that are offered are really minimal, like $10/week.
This isn't like the summer camp I did as a kid, where I went away for a week and lived in a cabin and had a teenage counselor living with us and roasted hot dogs by the fire. This is summer camp to be an activity to take the place of school, so that my kids are cared for all day when I am at work. It's like day care but it's more structured (usually) and can be general or have a theme, either sports or outdoors or science/nature or performing or visual arts, or there is zoo camp where they can learn about animals, or robotics camp, etc. My mom is too busy to take care of the twins all day when I'm at work, and they need more stuff to do or they'll just needle each other endlessly.
Bleh.
Our baby is 3 years old already!
Senior Geek
Hopelessly Devoted
I remember our town had a free day camp available here for a number of years, but the kids had to be dropped off at 9 and picked up at 3 and I didn't have anyone to do that for me. I didn't have a job where I could leave to transport them to another provider either. I always regretted that my girls didn't have the opportunity to do it. Now that I could get someone to transport Conner to/fro, it's no longer there.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I didn't know they filled up so fast. We're not sure if we're doing summer camp because we might go away over the summer. I was talking with some other parents during Josh's Lion King rehearsal and they like to do a camp that is run by the town rather than things at the Y because they're cheaper.
I kind of like having Josh home during the summer though, because it's nice out and there's a lot to do around here in the summer.
Yeah that was another thing stressing out my DH....what to do with the little dude in the summer once he/she is in school.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
I am in the same boat L! I am stressing about it too. Our county has summer camps through parks and rec that sound good. I was talking to some other mothers at work and they mentioned they go to the water park. That freaked me out!!! G doesn't know how to swim. It's so hard to let him go with other people. Around here the sign-up hasn't even started yet. In fact I am having a hard time finding the info for this year. So frustrating. I am thinking I will send him to the preschool/daycare near our house that takes children up to age 5. He really likes the place he is at now, but the rooms are small and the outside area isn't shaded, not a good idea around for keeping them busy during the hot summer days.
Shelley
L, was the playground next the the lake the one @ Lake Merritt? I used to live in the apartment bldg. across from there, the one that has fake hinges painted on the corners of the bldg. to make it look like a dollhouse. The reason I don't like that playground is that it's covered in goose poop. :/
So, I was going thru Yelp today, looking for a hike at a park with a playground... because we do not watch football and I am sooo looking forward to everything being totally empty today. And I came across this Yelp review. I wanted to give this woman a big wet smooch...
I did day camp once at the YMCA, and I loved the field trips. Then another summer, I spent a week at a Catholic girls' camp somewhere up in the Angeles Natl. Forest. That was fun. We did drama classes, lake swims, crafts and hikes, and archery and sang songs at dinner. Not an awful lot of praying from what I can remember. I totally cried when it was time to leave. It wasn't anything like the summer camps I'd read about or seen on The Parent Trap. My fave summer camp YA story was called "In Summertime, I'm Tuffy", or something like that. I love the idea of sleepaway camp. DH was an Eagle Scout & camp counselor thru most of his teenage years, and - despite the Boy Scout track record with homophobia now - it was mostly about camaraderie for him. I would love to find one for Bodhi when he gets to be that age...that isn't filled with homophobes.Can you believe innocent little me was banned from my Girl Scout troop when I was 9? It all happened here at beautiful Huddart Park on a summer campout, and despite this blight in my otherwise perfectly well behaved life, it hasn't ruined the absolute beauty of the park for me.
I mean, I really don't see what the big deal is about telling a bunch of 9 year old girls that there's no God, and no Santa for that matter. Jeez, kids and parents are sensitive! To rewind a bit, back then, and I don't know if it's still the case today, we had to pray before eating our snacks or our lunch, and at one point, I just refused to do it. The troop leader asked me why I wouldn't participate in this simple expression of grattitude to "our Lord," and I replied, "Because there is no God, so what's the point?" Gasps all around. Many inquires from my fellow Girl Scouts followed like, "Well, if there's no God, who made us then?" To which I replied, "Well, if God made us, who made God?" I was that philosophical at 9 (: This was then preceded by another Girl Scout making the very strong argument that God made Santa, and so therefore, there has to be a God. To which I responded, "There is no Santa either." Horrified gasps and crying all around; evidently you can say there's no God, but saying there's no Santa crosses the line.
They sent my heathen butt home-no more Girl Scouts for me.
Do you think that'd be the case if Bodhi were really far apart in age from his sibling? I just think that m'be we missed a window to have a child that Bodhi would want to play with. :/
Sorry for all the wild little ones that are causin' their mamas bellyaches. Either Bodhi is much better this weekend, or I'm much more patient. I'm single parenting for only 2 more weekends after this and then DH wraps up the recording session he's been working on.
I got terrible news on Friday, and I'm not ready to talk about it. It's kind of a FWP, but I'm still really bummed out.
Mylah, I'm sorry about your terrible news.
Did you find a park with a playground to hike? If you ever want to take a trek out our way, our favorite neighborhood park has some hillside trails to walk. You've gotta sort of forge your way, and watch out for gopher holes and poison oak, but there are lizards and deer and it's a nice view.
L, likewise sorry about your troubles finding a day camp. I think finding the right educational and care situations for our kids can be one of the most difficult things about childrearing. I hope you find just the right place. My heart went out to you when you mentioned what R said to you recently. Inge was really good at that when she was a kid -- so honest about what she was feeling, so blunt, and sometimes really painful to hear. I know you know he's just voicing his frustration, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
I'm also in the camp of two being easier than one, and I only learned that because I did have an only child for 12 years. I was always amazed at how much easier it was to wrangle and discipline two or even a passel of kids than when it was just Inge and me -- something about the pack mentality and a child's notion of fairness. She was so much more willing to go along with a group when it was "kids do this, grownups do that" instead of "her vs. me." Not to mention that entertaining each other is a big plus. It's been tough to be my child's only playmate around the house -- and now I'm doing it again, and it's still tough. It's why I would have loved to have another child close to Noe's age - so she'd have someone other than us to play with. But Ryan didn't want to, so we didn't, and I think now that I've got this health stuff maybe it all worked out for the best. But there is a part of me that's sad to be raising another essentially "lonely only." Not that it's a terrible thing - there are advantages to just one or to big gaps in age! But challenges, too.
-- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09
Oh, and Ryan & his team won the Annie! I live-streamed the show last night in my pjs with Noe sleeping on my lap. I tried to wake her up when they won so she could see Daddy on tv, but she was out like a light.
-- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09
Myles, I'm sorry you're dealing with some bad news
Oh no! Sorry to hear about your bad news, Myles! (hugs)
One advantage of working in education is having almost the same vacation days as the kids. Otherwise, mine wouldbe spending time at their grandparents', aunts' and the school's holiday club.
Congrats to your husband for winning the award, Gretchen!
Myles, I think you've still got quite a lot of time before B will seem too old to want to play with your next baby.
I'll have to post more later when not on my phone. I have a little ironing to finish up so might be on a bit later.
Myles, sorry about your bad news.
Since both our hubbies were working yesterday, a friend and her son joined Mira and I, and we went on our biennial shopping spree. I bought a bunch of size 4 clothes Mira, and the haul averaged about 6 bucks apiece, including two sets of 'flashing light shoes' from Stride Rite, hoodies, leggings, tights, tops, dresses, etc., from Gymboree, Crazy 8, TCP and OshKosh. My friend shopped for her almost 6 year old, as well as her two baby nephews, and she was so thrilled with her Stride Rite/Sketchers shoe deal (original price, $75, outlet price, $45, clearance price, $25, plus, buy one, get one 50% off, so the average was even lower per pair) that she has decided that we will do this together in the future. Our husbands both hate shopping, and heartily approved. Oh, I got a single item for myself, a Coach handbag, my first "luxury" accessory.
The kids did great together, and we took regular breaks (shop, eat, shop, treat, shop, Lego store, shop, play), so they kept each other entertained. Unfortunately, Mira finally decided to be a little daring and jump off something, landed awkwardly, and has an ouchie foot now. I'm not quite sure what is going on, but she started off saying her ankle hurts, but is now walking around with her heel on the floor and her toes pointing up, and says that the part below her pinky toe is what hurts. Earlier, she said that it was the base of her big toe that hurts. Not exactly reliable reporting. I don't know whether to send her to school or not. I guess we'll wait and see.
Senior Geek
Hopelessly Devoted
Sorry about your terrible news.Do you think that'd be the case if Bodhi were really far apart in age from his sibling? I just think that m'be we missed a window to have a child that Bodhi would want to play with. :/
Sorry for all the wild little ones that are causin' their mamas bellyaches. Either Bodhi is much better this weekend, or I'm much more patient. I'm single parenting for only 2 more weekends after this and then DH wraps up the recording session he's been working on.
I got terrible news on Friday, and I'm not ready to talk about it. It's kind of a FWP, but I'm still really bummed out.We're here when you're ready.
I agree, even if there's a huge age difference, most kids want to help with their little sibling and will take time to play with them. When they're still a newborn, the older one will bring Mama stuff and be a 'big helper.'
I've had it both ways...two very young close together (Bobbie and Jesi are only 17 months apart). Not only would Bobbie bring me things for her little sister, but she'd want to hold her and would sit on the floor and entertain her herself while I did the dishes. They really were two peas in a pod though and grew up very, very close.
When I had Conner, the girls were 13, 12, and 7.5. They were all 'little mommys' to Conner. Jesi was the most involved, which was ironic because she was the most vocal about being against the whole idea of a baby my entire pregnancy. But they all adored him and helped in astounding ways.
It might take more work to get two ready to go, especially if it's winter in a cold climate and everyone needs coats, snow pants, mittens, hats and boots...but for whatever reason it just seemed easier after I had two. Or maybe I was more forgiving of myself if x,y,z didn't work out perfectly because I knew I was juggling a lot. I'm sure that played a part in it as well.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Senior Geek
Hopelessly Devoted
Ouchie! She might have just sprained something, even a toe or three. It is kinda hard to tell exactly where that sort of pain is stemming from. I was a gymnast and always had something sprained. Some were worse than others, but most times I was ok to just do my normal thing (even hand-springs) because it wasn't too severe. More like a dull ache than anything.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
