Secular Confessions

[Cosmosmom]

I feel really safe in my current town and generally the couple murders a year are domestic violence related. Some crime by the university...thefts mostly. Probably the safest place i ever lived. Where I grew up was ok when I was little but as a teen we used to get gangs marking the garages in our alley and dad had to repaint it a few times. One house away was a drug house. Wasn't the worst in town but was kind of ghetto. My parents moved from there when I was in college. Surprising in their new subdivision, they have had more police involvement than they did with the drug house. Lots of neighbor issues for a few years and dad even installed a camera system around their house that records everything.
Than I lived in Milwaukee...well technically one of the burbs. In my expensive apartment there was one time the person down from us pounded on our door and said someone just came in his apartment and held a gun to his head (three apartments on our floor). We aren't sure if it was drug related or made up. They didn't live there that much longer though and it was mostly quiet except the people upstairs who kept throwing bigger and bigger parties. Once people started coming down the balconey onto my patio and throwing beer off it....I started calling the police. Pretty sure it was teens who had a single parent that worked nights.

I grew up between Milwaukee and Chicago...and since we got both TV stations for each city, grew up watching really scary news. It was a bit of culture shock moving to my current city where the biggest portion of the news is high school sports and not recapping the murders of the day.

[3andMe]

My realtor once told me the best home to buy was the worst house in a good neighborhood, if you have the wherewithal to fix it up. A house can change a lot more easily than a neighborhood can. She was talking about flipping, because obviously neighborhoods CAN change, but that will give you the most return on an investment.

I'm not particularly scared about the crime, but I'm paying a lot more attention to what I'm doing and being cautious. There have been a lot more attacks by small roving gangs of people grabbing cell phones and laptops and purses by people distracted and walking to their cars, talking on their phones, or even in coffee shops working on their computers. It's not just where I live. Where I work there have been a number of warnings issued about people being attacked. You can't drape a diaper bag or purse over a stroller and turn your back to look at something on a shelf. As far as the home invasions and drive-by shootings, I figure there just isn't much I could do about that, so I can't live in fear.

[Cosmosmom]

Awww Rainbow Brite!

[Suja]

I used to live in The Bronx, and went to school for 6 years in the middle of Harlem, back in the bad old days, before NYC got cleaned up, and Harlem went upscale. We actually had one of our lecture halls held up at gun point, and one of my instructors (a really cute one) was mugged by a druggie and beat up, although he gave up his possessions without a fight. Da Burbs don't hold anything that scares me. One of the advantages of living where I live being poshy-poo is that crime is low. Reading the week's 'crime news' is mostly funny.

[Suja]

The friend I mentioned earlier, this write-up involves her, and her heart dog, Solo : http://www.sfweekly.com/2007-03-07/n...cho-dogs/full/ The article is interesting from a purely science perspective as well.

[3andMe]

Interesting article, Suja! Especially since part of it takes place in a building where I have had plenty of meetings. And partially because I have a cat that is phobic. I have had no difficulty renting in places that only allow two cats on occasion, despite having 3, because my third cat is so freakishly scared of everything that he hides all the time. He sometimes comes out in the evenings, but if DH sneezes or moves, he runs away again.

[AmeriBrit]

Janet, I love the Rainbow Brite bedding! Where did you get it? I need some!

We obviously don't have much gun crime at all. Most murder cases around this part of the world are family related. There have been some knife deaths at some night clubs downtown recently. The worst thing that most people have to fear is travellers who steal things. Last year we had our lawnmower stolen and a case of beer that was in the detached garage. After that, we made sure to lock things up properly.

[AmeriBrit]

And, oh, I am trying so hard not to type a very sarcastic reply to my brother on Facebook right now! He just posted something about waiting at the tax place to have his taxes done. The other day he rang my mom when I was on the other end, asking her for money and hung up on her when she told him she didn't have any spare to give to him.

[Bridget]

What jerk!

I loved rainbow brite when I was a little girl. I wanted that doll for xmas so badly. I asked 2 years in a row. She must have been expensive because we were poor and my mom would have gotten it if she could I am sure. It was funny she gave it to me as an adult when one of my aunts found it at a garage sale. I sure wish I still had it but I cannot remember what I ever did with it.

We are going nuts inside. Like, seriously it's making us a little insane. Today for some reason we're all singing everything we say. I keep thinking if someone had a hidden camera in my house they would think we were completely wacked. lol

[missychrissy]

That's ok B, y'all are. In an absolutely adorable, good way that I love

I'm staying here where the taxes are too high. At least our "most wanted" list is 99% DWIs that skipped out on bond and other mundane 'crimes' like that. Tri-county wide, most the murders that happen around here are domestic or drug related. Not that that makes it better, but I figure as long as I'm not involved in an abusive relationship, I don't have much to worry about. Except the serial killer that lives next door.

I really should stop saying that. He's probably a very nice fellow. He just happens to resemble Gary Ridgeway in an uncanny way that freaks me out.

[Suja]

Go with your instincts, Chrissy. There are lots of serial killers on the loose, several whose victims aren't even known.

Bridget, we do that here too! Mira absolutely listens/responds better when we make a game of singing our conversations, instead of talking. She doesn't tire of it easily, but I do! We can't both be whacked, so....

I have no idea what Rainbow Brite is (me and my deprived childhood), other than to say, that bedding looks adorable!

[Cosmosmom]

I get it chrissy....I feel a LOT better about a domestic violence crime than I do about some random one. I know I'm not married to a violent man so feel safer that way. But a random crime....that feels so much more like it could happen to me.


I really need to do my taxes soon so I know what my refund is. Because I keep mentally spending it. My wish list is bigger than what I suspect it will be! Like this is one thing that I am looking at getting. And I want a sprinkler system for the yard. New lazy boy for the living room. I am really hoping for a big refund! LOL

http://www.babysdream.com/ProductBro...hure_small.pdf

[Cosmosmom]

Here ya go Suja http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_Brite Definitely something that most girls who were kids in the 1980's knew. Her, Strawberry Shortcake, and the Care Bears.

[daylilies]

I had a Rainbow Brite doll but I honestly don't remember ever watching the show or anything. I wonder why I had the doll. Probably a random present from someone.

[missychrissy]

I didn't like Rainbrow Bright. I know...we can all no longer be friends now, can we?

[Cosmosmom]

I liked her but not as much as Care Bears or She-ra Princess of Power.

[3andMe]

The part about growing up without a tv made me only familiar with all of those products very remotely. I know the names, but that's about it.

[Cosmosmom]

That is so hard for to imagine....growing up without a TV. I didn't watch it all the time when I was kid and didn't have my own until the teen years but I did watch some. I used to love this one show on Nik called Today's Special. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Today's_Special
Actually I don't remember really ever living without cable or a VCR. My dad likes techie toys and tended to be ahead of the curve....it's also why I'm the only person I know in my age group that doesn't know how to use a record player because we got CD's in our house when I was 6 or 7.

that said, summertime we were always outside playing and I did a ton of reading. It was a good balance.

[Bridget]

We only watched tv at friends houses but we were visiting neighborhood kids daily. I remember sitting on the front stoop of a friend's house because 3's company was on and my mom said that show was inappropriate. lol My big brother stayed in but I didn't tell on him. I watched tons of Nick at Nite during babysitting gigs.
I actually didn't know any kids who stayed at home watching tv all day like I see now. It was just different then.

My grandma bought me a strawberry shortcake doll when we were at a garage sale together. When we got back to her house I mentioned how it didn't smell anymore because the doll should have had fruity smelling hair. My grandma sprayed lemon pledge on it! I was very happy with that and the smell never went away. I bet that was great for me to be huffing at 8 years old.

[daylilies]

I wasn't allowed to watch tv much. I watched the Smurfs on Saturdays and I watched Sesame Street and Mister Rogers for a long time. When I got older I started watching sitcoms with my parents like Family Ties (and thus my lifelong crush on Michael J Fox was born, LOL)

As a teen I still didn't watch a lot of TV. My mom would watch My So-Called Life with me. I'm sure that was awkward at times back then but I look at it fondly now. We also watched The X-Files together until it became all about aliens. I liked it better when it was about other supernatural phenomena.

[Gwenn]

My realtor once told me the best home to buy was the worst house in a good neighborhood, if you have the wherewithal to fix it up. A house can change a lot more easily than a neighborhood can. She was talking about flipping, because obviously neighborhoods CAN change, but that will give you the most return on an investment.

We bought a run-down house in a nice neighborhood. Would have been great if we'd managed to remain a two-income family. Instead we just look like trailer park people and I'm sure all our neighbors hate us.

Here ya go Suja http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_Brite Definitely something that most girls who were kids in the 1980's knew. Her, Strawberry Shortcake, and the Care Bears.

I had Strawberry Shortcake and Care Bears - but I want to say I was a tad too old for Rainbow Bright. Or maybe I just wasn't into her but I was into dolls for longer than most of my friends were. I remember when Cabbage Patch Kids came along thinking how much I wanted one but I knew I was technically too old for them. Apparently all my friends wanted one, too, because we were all part of the huge craze they had! Somewhere my mom still has mine at her house. Loved them.

I wasn't allowed to watch tv much. I watched the Smurfs on Saturdays and I watched Sesame Street and Mister Rogers for a long time. When I got older I started watching sitcoms with my parents like Family Ties (and thus my lifelong crush on Michael J Fox was born, LOL)

LOVE Family Ties!

[Ky'sMom]

We only watched tv at friends houses but we were visiting neighborhood kids daily. I remember sitting on the front stoop of a friend's house because 3's company was on and my mom said that show was inappropriate. lol My big brother stayed in but I didn't tell on him. I watched tons of Nick at Nite during babysitting gigs.
I actually didn't know any kids who stayed at home watching tv all day like I see now. It was just different then.

My grandma bought me a strawberry shortcake doll when we were at a garage sale together. When we got back to her house I mentioned how it didn't smell anymore because the doll should have had fruity smelling hair. My grandma sprayed lemon pledge on it! I was very happy with that and the smell never went away. I bet that was great for me to be huffing at 8 years old.

\

Too funny Bridget!! You lemon pledge smeller lol!

Strawberry Shortcake made me sneeze. I didn't like her. I also didn't like Rainbow Brite. I had a grandma though that was pretty well off - we used to say she was rich but really she wasn't rich, just upper middle class. My mom was a big disappointment to her in that she got PG at 15 and acted pretty crazy and embarrassed the family but grandma always made sure that us kids (she made my mom move out at 16 when she got PG with me when my older brother was only 3 months old, but she did give my mom a house to live in and paid the utilities for the first 6 months until my parents took over the responsibility) had very nice Christmases. We got TONS of toys for Christmas. She even used to tell me how she beat up someone in 1984 for the last cabbage patch doll lol. She told me that I had better keep it for the rest of my life since she think she gave a "young girl" her term for a 20-30 year old, a black eye over that doll! I was so mad when our movers lost it 6 years ago. But that year I also got Rainbow Brite and some My Little Ponies and even a Care Bear. I didn't like any of them as I was a tom boy, but I did love the cabbage patch, mostly because I thought of her as really rough and cool since my grandma gave someone a black eye to get her for me. She was the only doll I played with until Iw as 12 and started playing with Barbies.

Erin... Interesting you say you were never scared. I'm seldom scared of meeting people face to face, but what if it were your car they stole? Just because they are nice to you doesn't mean you're exempt from them robbing your house, does it? Well, I'm glad you're not worried about where you live, that is what matters!

Maybe my problem is the same as why L said... Our area is really going down hill, FAST. I was born and raised in the small town I'm living in, and in the first 30 years of my life, there was ONE murder. In the last less than 2 years, there have been FOUR. One in particular was very gruesome. One was a block from where I grew up, and block from where I live now. Literally right next door to my aunt's house. The home invasions (serious, 5 armed gun men) have increased, the car thefts have increased, the petty theft has increased...

I used to feel SO safe here, but I just don't any more... And it terrifies me that I'm raising Maiya in a place where I no longer feel safe.

I'm sorry, Bridget.

I do think it would be different if the neighborhood was getting worse. But ours is actually getting better. In 1997 even though only 10% of the population lived in this neighborhood, it accounted for over half of all the violent crime in the city. Today it only counts as 10% of crimes and most of our crimes are not violent. The only violent crimes are usually domestic situations. The last murder I remember happened last year when two domestic partners (men) got into a fight over one cheating on the other and one of them shot and killed the other during the altercation. I didn't know those guys but knew some guys who knew them and they said they were always fighting and everyone thought that eventually one of them would kill the other since they were really violent people, but only with each other.

We don't have a lot of car thefts period over here. I actually have a dodge caravan, which is one of the top stolen vehicles in the country and my car has been stolen once and attempted theft twice in the past year. None of them happened in my neighborhood. The only crimes that happen to me usually are when I am visiting someone else or at Ky's school and the places I go have much better reputations, but those areas are actually getting worse while our area is getting better.

It is also funny to me that our neighborhood characters, even crackheads and heroine addicts (our neighborhood is known for a place to score heroine) will look out for us regular residents. They like me and my DH, DH especially as he is a character in his own right in many ways. We both are really respectful to people and crackheads appreciate people treating them like people and not crackheads. Once a college student was nodding off on heroine and totaled my DH's classic 1988 Monte Carlo SS (that he is still crying over) and the college student - not a resident of the neighborhood, but from a very rich suburb we found out - tried to do a hit and run and sped down the street and the crackheads ran after him and some even jumped in front of the car, one of the drug dealers wrote down the plate number and one of the heroine addicts, who says his name is "Bike Man" got the car to stop and told the police what happened and the person got cited for the ticket and DH got reimbursed for the car. I honestly feel if we weren't as nice to people around here or treated them bad or didn't talk to them at all due to their lifestyles and appearances, they wouldn't have gone out of their way like that for DH. They look out for our house to most of the time and will tell us anytime someone came on our porch when we weren't home and that they warned whoever it was about our dog lol. So in a way all the eyes on us make me feel a bit safer. If there were drive bys or people breaking in every week though, I would be on edge. But I used to live in Detroit and IMO Atlanta is nothing compared to Detroit when it comes to criminals as there are a whole lot of crazy, violent people in Detroit in certain areas and I would not even drive down specific streets there during daylight.

Erin

[Suja]

We only got TV in my part of India when I was 14 or so. It had rabbit ears, and picked up about 3/4 of a channel. When the transmission would fail. Someone would have to go to the roof antenna and mess with it until the picture came back on. The shows would start at 6:00 PM (all day programming on Sundays) and there wasn't much good on until 7:30 or so. One of my fondest memories from that time was staying up with mom on Saturday night, and watching Hitchcock movies. I remember being heartbroken when we were at the climactic part of a movie, and the transmission cut out. Never found out how it ended, until I came here years later. A little different from all your experiences.

[Cosmosmom]

I heard that when I was 2 yrs old and "helping" threw away the VCR remote and nobody realized it. My parents spent $200 for a new one back in either 1979 or 1980. OMG.

I didn't have rainbow brite but a friend did. I had a light bright at my grandmas house though! I also had a cabbage patch doll....my parents won it in a lottery and I remember going over to ace hardware when it was time for our number and picking mine out. Pretty sure it's in my parents basement.

I feel really lucky to have had such a great mix growing up. Tons of playing and pretend with my sister and friends (a couple of families on my block had girls my age or my sister's). I got to watch some TV. I got to play outside and I was taught to love reading. And I got to grow up watching Disney (shh but I had Disney movies on tape before they started selling them on VHS). that and Peanuts....still love them today.

Kate I love Michael J Fox too! Alex P Keaton....such a crush that his smarts overtook his republican side for me. My parents didn't limit TV that much....nothing really scary or R rated but I was allowed to watch Three's Company and grew up watching General Hospital with my mom.

[raspberry]

When I was little, my dad was a logger in Idaho. One time he found three teeny baby chipmunks that we too young to be alone, their momma had died. He brought them home, and built a cage and they were our "pets" until they escaped one day. Of course they were called Alvin, Simon and Theodore.

This is my favorite Rainbow Brite http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofRF5vpFpl0

My town is pretty safe, but the city 30 minutes north has had recent shootings and I hate hearing the news. The national news wigs me out, that I avoid watching it. When I do see the news, I still think we need to move to England.

[daylilies]

Jennifer I think I was even too young to really get his political side. I just thought he was so funny.

[Bridget]

Whaaaah! I just accidently threw away half of the dark chocolate I was going to sit down and enjoy now that the kids are finally asleep. I just cleaned out my fridge and dumped a bunch of leftovers so there was no salvaging it. What a BUMMER.
Dbf called earlier tonight and was all frantic saying his plane was delayed for mechanical difficulties and he was going to miss his connecting flight and have to spend the night in detroit. Doomsday I'm telling you. I asked for details and it turns out it had only been 15 minute delay and he had a 1.5 hour stopover. I said well you don't know yet that you'll miss the flight so why don't we just wait and see what happens. He's all whatever you don't understand and basically hung up on me. Lol! He's such a drama queen!! Sure enough a bit later I got a text saying, "Gonna make it." Made me laugh outloud.

[missychrissy]

Oh my goodness B!!! That's TOO FUNNY!

[Bridget]

I know! It really is funny. Like my dad says, "All you can do is laugh."

Sawyer is getting WILD on me. He screams and yells and throws things. We all have to protect ourselves. He is the worst when I am reading bedtime stories to S and K. I mean, we totally include him. He gets to pick a book. I answer every.single. "WHATSAT??", he sits right in the middle, on my lap. He tries to grab the book and then gets angry when I have to take it back and then he screams. I am talking blood curdling, red faced. Just over and over again. We try to ignore it and then I will tell him he has to go out the room if he is going to scream like that. So he runs out for like 2.5 seconds and then runs back in and needs comforting and then it's basically all over again. He won't be involved in anything else either. It's very draining.

Remember how I said I was reading to Savana from Raising Your Spirited Child and how she is an introvert and gets her energy rejuvination from spending time alone? Well, we've been discussing that a bit lately. I asked her if she remembered when I was doing full time daycare how she would have tantrums every.single.day. Huge ones. Part of that was her age I am sure but I told her I was sorry I didn't realize that she probably just needed time alone. Kids here from the moment she woke up in the morning until dinner time most days. Poor little introvert! If I'd known I could have saved us both a lot of heartache.
Anyway, tonight I was on the phone with my brother for like 8 minutes and I could hear things getting wild in the living room so I got off and came in and Savana said, "Mom, I think I need to go be in my room alone for a little while because I'm feeling really angry at Kai like I' want to yell at him or hit him and really he's not doing anything to me, just being loud."
Ohmylord I hugged her so tight for that. I mean, honestly, before she would have just pinched him or something. Yay her.

[missychrissy]

That's really wonderful.

As for the pitching fits, maybe S needs some alone time as well? Just a thought.

I remember Conner went through a horrible (over a year, maybe even 2 years?) phase where he'd get home in the evening, after sleeping/riding in Daddy's truck for 15 miles, and pitch a holy-hell-raising fit for 2-3 hours each.and.every.night. He needed a nap, but getting him out of the car would wake him up and absolutely nothing would coax him back to sleep. I would cry right along with him feeling so helpless. Attempts from Mama to comfort him just seemed to enrage him further. It was so frustrating. I was actually just remembering that phase this evening, still wondering if there was anything I could have done to help him through that period.