Chrissy I hope you feel better soon.
Yeah I think that we are all just sort of thinking out loud from personal experiences to maybe trigger or spark something that maybe wasn't tried or thought of or that worked for someone else. Just different perspectives. I will say that I DID get harsh. I think Dh would have gotten really bad if I hadn't been bossy and basically forced things. I really think I might have left him over it had he refused to do anything. I made his appt, drove him there a few times at first, told him he HAD to clean the house while I was at work (I was working full-time and in grad school part-time....he was doing neither so least he could do was the housework and errands). I praised him for everything....what a good job he did and how much it made my life easier. Said he had to get dressed and leave the apartment at least 5 days a week. He had to come out on walks with me and Cosmo when the weather was nice. I really believe that my taking a harsh approach with him helped snap him out of it and didn't allow the depression to get as deep as it could have.
Bridget, I kind of had a feeling that was the case. It's definitely sad for those kids but at least they have your cousin and aren't ending up stuck in foster care.