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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #38281

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    OMG, I am going crazy. Puppy came up to me 20 minutes ago asking to be let out. I put him out. 5 minutes later, DH came by wanting to know why he was still outside (because he hadn't asked to be let back in yet). So I told DH to let him in if he wanted. He did, then went back to his computer room (which is gated off so the puppy can't reach). Now puppy is pestering me again to be let back out.

    Seriously. Just let him stay out until he's ready to come in. Or take him back out yourself every five minutes. Because I'm not here to let the dog out all night for five minutes at a time. We have a 6' fence and he can't get out. He's fine.
    Aw... Tell hubby to take the dog out and play with him for awhile and THEN let him back in! Typical male, wants you to deal with consequences of his actions...

    We have a term for a similar situation- when the dogs want out, then want back in two minutes later, then back out, and then in... Sounds like your pup isn't quite doing that, since he didn't ask to be let back in, but it reminds me of it all the same... We say "Dog out wants dog in, dog in wants dog out..."

    Our dogs are spoiled in door dogs, but we have one of those screen doors that has magnets, so it opens when you walk through it then closes itself, to keep the bugs out. Since, if I remember, it's not too cold for you guys right now, maybe you should think of getting one of those. I guess it won't help hubby feel better about him being outside, but then at least if he could let himself in and out, it would mean you didn't have to!


    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Krystal, I'm so glad you joined us.
    And I agree. Tread lightly, I say all the time. We don't kill bugs either. In fact, I've gone to crazy measures to save a freaking bug around here because my kids make me. I haven't delved too much into animal cruelty regarding food production because Savana is uber sensitive about stuff like that and I don't want her to have to think about how awful it is. We have talked a bit about making sure animals get to live a comfortable farm life, with room to roam and proper food. We were getting our eggs from a great local farmer but I stopped because she uses corn feed in the winter and the gmo stuff scares me.
    Me too!

    Haha, yes, we've done the same with Maiya. She's so young that she's still in the "That baby spider needs to go back outside with his Momma!!!" phase. I don't like bugs, but in order to try to raise her to respect life, I try to catch them and "reunite baby spider with Momma spider- OUTSIDE"!

    And, yeah, I haven't gone in to animal cruelty AT ALL (she is only 2...), regarding food or otherwise. But, we have been to farms, and only ones where the animals are treated (relatively) well. I mean, I know it's not the same as being in like, an animal preserve with acres and acres of land, but they are well taken care of. She "knows" that, for example, chicken we eat is the same as the chickens she pets at the farms, but I don't know if she really understands it.

    Where the "treat it well even you eat it" comes in to play is actually in regards to our dog... When we take him out on his walks, he often times goes "crittering" and she has seen him chasing all sorts of animals. He never gets them (he's well behaved and comes when we call, but she still sees the animal and sees him chase it), but we still explain why he does it. Then we explain why we don't let him eat it- because he has dog food at home, and you never kill anything unless you NEED to eat it.

    But then when she plays at home, she has, for example, the wolf eat the rabbit (because she knows that's what happens), and I make sure that she treats the rabbit well and is nice and says thank you and all... And she never "kills" the rabbit, it's very G rated, heh.



    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Lol Mandy! Why does he care how long the dog is out?
    Krystal I am smacking myself in the head right now that all the times that dbf and i have discussed getting chickens, neither of us once mentioned the CATS. Wth? I think our cats would be scared of chickens though.
    Oh yes! Cats and chickens don't get along... "We" lost quite a few chickens to the neighborhood cats (or neighborhood somethings, we never did see anything). I am sure my cat would be scared of the chickens, too, but still, it's definitely something that needs to be thought about!



    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Because he is ridiculously overprotective. Fine, but puppy needs to run around like an idiot and I'd much rather he do that outside than inside!
    Aw, that's sweet, though... Just tell hubby that if he wants to protect pup, that HUBBY needs to help him get his energy out!! Get a chuck it and throw that ball a few times for him... They'll both be safe and happy playing outside together!



  2. #38282
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    I was wondering who was going to break it to Janet that Gwyn/Gwenn is really a Mandy.

  3. #38283

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I was wondering who was going to break it to Janet that Gwyn/Gwenn is really a Mandy.
    And Light-o-my-life. ;)

    But I'm still trying to figure out who here goes by what names on here. I think some go by their username, some go by their real name, and some go by one letter (like L!), and some have nicknames (like Myles / Mylah!). So I'm making it up as I go along. There are a few I don't know their real names for, but I'm trying... In fact, Suja, I don't know if Suja is your real name or just a user name!



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    LOL! It's my real name. Actually, it's Sujatha, but nobody calls me that.

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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    We have Walking with Dinosaurs and Walking with Beasts and Chased by Dinosaurs in our Instant Queue on Netflix. Ro's favorites.

    Bridget, you can tell Kai that death does not look so much like sleeping. In a way, it does, because the person is not moving or talking, but it's really obvious if you're close that there is a big difference and that there is no life anymore. Obviously, there are times right in the midst of things when it can be a bit muddled, but when someone is not alive, a caveman would not be confused any more than death is confusing to anyone.

    I wish DH's fear of getting older was a mid-life crisis, but he's been worried about it as long as I've known him, since he was only 23 or so, and according to his friends, it's been going on longer than that. Turning 40 is just another nail in the coffin for him. Interestingly, a bunch of people sent him birthday wishes today, but everyone, even his own family (except for his mom), communicated them through me. Nobody talked to him personally. He's been that grumpy or uncommunicative with everyone. I've told him that I want to broaden our social circle and develop more of a network in the years to come, as we get more time. First us as a couple, a tiny step at a time with a few hours every few months, and then we develop and maintain and rescue forgotten friendships. Gretchen's posts about happiness made me start thinking about the whole picture.

    I made him brownie pops and bought four different kinds of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. They had a new flavor I had never tried, called Cinnamon Buns. It was tasty. S. screamed from dinner through to bedtime because he wasn't as good at hiding how crappy he was feeling as the rest of us.

    Gretchen, congrats to your dh for the award, and how cool that he's taking your daughter. That will be a lifetime memory for her.

    R. came home from a playdate the other day saying he believed in heaven after all because his friend told him he'd seen it with his own eyes. This is my only child who doesn't believe in Santa Claus and swears by the scientific method. DH took him into the bedroom for a little talk.

    I'm so glad I have the day off tomorrow. I just hope some of my children are well enough to go to school.


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    Yes, I think you all need to call me Light-o'-my-life. Spelled out with all the punctuation. Even if you're on a touchscreen keyboard.

    Suja, may I ask if you pronounce your name as it is spelled? I ask because I read it that way (j as j) and recently I was at my mom's and because we're geeky we were both on our iPads. (How cool is my 70-something mom to have an iPad, really?). Anyway, she saw something you had posted on my newsfeed and said your name as Su-ha, as you would in Spanish. I told her she was wrong and then realized I had no idea! But I suspect I'm right anyway. ;).

    And is the TH a "th" or a "t"? I need to know these things. Deep in my soul.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 01-28-2013 at 11:06 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Y'all talk a lot. (says the post-ho)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I just remembered something I wanted to tell you guys. Kai asked me the other night what the very first humans thought when they saw the very first human die. He wondered if they thought the person was asleep and how they could understand death if no one could tell them and they couldn't read about it. He totally caught me off gaurd with that question and a few seconds passed while I was formulating my answer and then he said, "Oh, i guess they saw plants and animals die so they probably knew what was happening."

    I thought that was incredibly deep for a five year old and I had to share it here because when I shared it with dbf he gave me a look like it kind of freaked him out that Kai would think about that. I thought it was cool.
    Kai is incredibly insightful and perceptive. What a brilliant question. He makes me proud!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I am watching "Vegucated" on netflix right now and oh. my. god. Break me heart watching the way these chickens are treated. On an organic farm, no less. A factory farm is a factory farm is a factory farm. I really, really really want to get some chickens.
    Bobbie must have watched that. She's been a vegetarian for years (since she was 16) and has suddenly started talking about never eating eggs again. She talked specifically about how even 'organic' chickens live in deplorable conditions. She was up all night again (3rd night in a row that I know about), still awake watching Netflix on her computer. I don't know how she's paying for it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    OMG, I am going crazy. Puppy came up to me 20 minutes ago asking to be let out. I put him out. 5 minutes later, DH came by wanting to know why he was still outside (because he hadn't asked to be let back in yet). So I told DH to let him in if he wanted. He did, then went back to his computer room (which is gated off so the puppy can't reach). Now puppy is pestering me again to be let back out.

    Seriously. Just let him stay out until he's ready to come in. Or take him back out yourself every five minutes. Because I'm not here to let the dog out all night for five minutes at a time. We have a 6' fence and he can't get out. He's fine.
    Men really can be just like a child themselves. This is a classic example.

    Quote Originally Posted by Krystal5 View Post
    And Light-o-my-life. ;)

    But I'm still trying to figure out who here goes by what names on here. I think some go by their username, some go by their real name, and some go by one letter (like L!), and some have nicknames (like Myles / Mylah!). So I'm making it up as I go along. There are a few I don't know their real names for, but I'm trying... In fact, Suja, I don't know if Suja is your real name or just a user name!
    My real name is just Chrissy. Well, it's Christina but most my close friends and family call me Chrissy.

    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    We have Walking with Dinosaurs and Walking with Beasts and Chased by Dinosaurs in our Instant Queue on Netflix. Ro's favorites.

    Bridget, you can tell Kai that death does not look so much like sleeping. In a way, it does, because the person is not moving or talking, but it's really obvious if you're close that there is a big difference and that there is no life anymore. Obviously, there are times right in the midst of things when it can be a bit muddled, but when someone is not alive, a caveman would not be confused any more than death is confusing to anyone.

    I wish DH's fear of getting older was a mid-life crisis, but he's been worried about it as long as I've known him, since he was only 23 or so, and according to his friends, it's been going on longer than that. Turning 40 is just another nail in the coffin for him. Interestingly, a bunch of people sent him birthday wishes today, but everyone, even his own family (except for his mom), communicated them through me. Nobody talked to him personally. He's been that grumpy or uncommunicative with everyone. I've told him that I want to broaden our social circle and develop more of a network in the years to come, as we get more time. First us as a couple, a tiny step at a time with a few hours every few months, and then we develop and maintain and rescue forgotten friendships. Gretchen's posts about happiness made me start thinking about the whole picture.

    I made him brownie pops and bought four different kinds of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. They had a new flavor I had never tried, called Cinnamon Buns. It was tasty. S. screamed from dinner through to bedtime because he wasn't as good at hiding how crappy he was feeling as the rest of us.

    Gretchen, congrats to your dh for the award, and how cool that he's taking your daughter. That will be a lifetime memory for her.

    R. came home from a playdate the other day saying he believed in heaven after all because his friend told him he'd seen it with his own eyes. This is my only child who doesn't believe in Santa Claus and swears by the scientific method. DH took him into the bedroom for a little talk.

    I'm so glad I have the day off tomorrow. I just hope some of my children are well enough to go to school.
    Conner loves those shows too. I think he and Ro would be great buds.

    Your dh's preoccupation with death really makes me sad. I can't help but feel that it has robbed him of joy. That's my biggest issue about religion in general...I don't believe there's an afterlife most days, but sometimes I admit to not knowing what we don't know. But still, just in case this is it, the final picture and our one and only shot-what a freaking miracle life is in and of itself. We'd be foolish to waste it waiting for something better at the end. And really, whether we were created by something or by some freak scientific accident, life is a miracle.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Yes, I think you all need to call me Light-o'-my-life. Spelled out with all the punctuation. Even if you're on a touchscreen keyboard.

    Suja, may I ask if you pronounce your name as it is spelled? I ask because I read it that way (j as j) and recently I was at my mom's and because we're geeky we were both on our iPads. (How cool is my 70-something mom to have an iPad, really?). Anyway, she saw something you had posted on my newsfeed and said your name as Su-ha, as you would in Spanish. I told her she was wrong and then realized I had no idea! But I suspect I'm right anyway. ;).

    And is the TH a "th" or a "t"? I need to know these things. Deep in my soul.
    Meannie!

    You would want to know, Mandy. You and that pronunciation issue you got. You act like it's your job or something. But now that you bring it up, I've been pronouncing it in my head the same way you were, and now I wanna know too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #38288

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    Has anyone ever seen return to oz? It's FREAKY.

    Not that I want to rush time, but I'm looking forward to my kids being a little older to be able to explain/discuss all these things with them. I'm slowly starting with M. She is completely refusing to poop on the potty, so we had a big discussion about how poop is the leftover food your body doesn't need and that it needs to be recycled just like all the other stuff we don't need. So hopefully today she will recycle her poop into the potty, LOL.
    AKA Lisa724

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Yes, I think you all need to call me Light-o'-my-life. Spelled out with all the punctuation. Even if you're on a touchscreen keyboard.

    Suja, may I ask if you pronounce your name as it is spelled? I ask because I read it that way (j as j) and recently I was at my mom's and because we're geeky we were both on our iPads. (How cool is my 70-something mom to have an iPad, really?). Anyway, she saw something you had posted on my newsfeed and said your name as Su-ha, as you would in Spanish. I told her she was wrong and then realized I had no idea! But I suspect I'm right anyway. ;).

    And is the TH a "th" or a "t"? I need to know these things. Deep in my soul.
    Weren't you considering changing your handle? Maybe it should be 'Light-o'-everyone's-life'. I would love to see people try to do that one on a touchscreen keyboard.

    You are right about how my name is pronounced. The 'j' is a 'j'. I have heard all sorts of variations, though - Suha, Suya, Sooha, Sooya, Sunja, Sinja,.... The 'th' is also a 'th'. It is pretty much pronounced exactly as it is written.

    I should tell you guys about this. When DH goes to wake Mira up, Pan (dog) and Finn (cat) go with him. So, now they're her 'posse'. Specifically, the cow posse and the tiger posse. The other day, she woke up by herself, played a little, and then wanted to know where her posse was.

  10. #38290

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    I like Return to Oz. It is so creepy and good. It might be more of a nostalgia thing though. I saw it when I was pretty young. I have seen it since then and it's not quite the same. But still good

    You guys can call me Kate, if you remember, or just daylilies, I respond to that too 3andme likes to be called L so her real name can't be traced back to here. (she also uses the first initials of her kids's names for the same reason)

    Krystal is that your real name?

    It takes me a while to get everyone's real name, too. I only remember AmeriBrit's name is Ash because she referred to herself, or someone else did, as Ameri-Ash once. LOL

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    I'm Lisa. MashedUp is combo of my kid's names, Macie and Asher. And it's how I feel most of the time, LOL.
    AKA Lisa724

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    I'm Jennifer.

    Way back when I was in college, I had a philosophy of technology class (I was a philosophy major...super useful degree! LOL). One of the things we discussed was if it was ethical to eat meat if you weren't willing to kill the animal yourself. I just normally try to not think of it too much because I'm unethical like that. I work with a people who grew up more rural and on farms....and think that it's totally not a big deal to kill a chicken. My boss's family was raising pigs, even named them and than sent them over to be butchered. The whole thing kind of shocks me. Most people where I live (I'm in northern WI and not far from the northwoods area) are into hunting and fishing. People were asking DH were he goes hunting...he was like I like to hunt at the local grocery store. If it came down to it, we would have to go vegetarian....we like meat but don't like to think about being an animal or looking like one on our plates.

    And I'm totally about killing bugs, especially in my house. Outside I try not to and hate that I have to do it BUT I will be putting down bug killing stuff on the lawn come May. We have a huge problem with japanese beetles locally but the biggest problem is ticks. We have one of the highest tick populations with lyme in the US. I was pulling them off the dogs all the time last year until we treated the lawn. And even with doing frontline, I still pulled an attached tick off Cosmo in Nov.
    On the other hand, as irritated as I am with the gophers in my yard, I will not put poison down their holes.

    I so wish that I had a fenced yard. It's great when we visit my parents and can just let the dogs out and let them come in when they want back in. I take Cosmo out a few times a day but she's not that into outside. Molly doesn't get out every day though (both the dogs can and do use a litter box as well as outside and they are small enough that running around the house and fetch in the living room is enough exericse)....I try to get out when the weather is ok so she can run around. I go out with the dogs because we are not fenced in. Cosmo stays in the yard and stops if I tell her to stop.....Molly being only a year old and part beagle, we have an electronic fence. It does keep her in great but I still go out with them because I worry about coyotes, I'm about 90% sure we once saw a wolf off by the woods (we have a farm field on two sides of us and a woods/creek area behind that). And I know once they wake up, there is usually a bear sighting somewhere within a 1-3 miles from me. Lately the fun has been watching the wild turkies....there is a flock of about 10 or 11 that we see a few times a week out in the field.
    Which I will admit, the first time I saw them, I was all excited about the peacocks out back (I thought they were the brown female ones). DH was like, um those are not native to WI. Well now I know what a wild turkey looks like! LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    This documentary showed absolute abuse. I can b ok with animals being butchered but while they are alive, they should lead a comfortable life.

    Lol about Mira and her posse. How gangster of her.

  14. #38294

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    DH has a rule-if bugs are outside he won't touch them but once they invade our house they are getting killed. Sorry, bug lovers.

    That said, I have scooped spiders out of the car if I am able to pull over safely and get them out. Otherwise they're getting smooshed.

    I'm curious if any of you with kids around 5 or 6 years old still sleep with them? I'm going to guess no, but I thought I'd ask. Josh always asks me to sleep with him. I've tried to explain that mommies and daddies sleep in the same bed and kids sleep alone. I've bought him a myriad of lights, stuffed animals that talk, kept his light on, let him play in his room until he gets tired...but he just wants someone who is alive to sleep with. We've considered moving Bo's crate in there-I suppose that's the next step. We are just tired of the endless dragging out of bedtime, points systems to try to get him to bed smoothly and almost nightly discussions on this for over half an hour.

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    I rarely remember my dreams but wow did I have a vivid one last night. Our social worker was calling me all day and it wasn't going through my cell phone (which my phone doesn't work in the part of the hospital I work in most of the day)...not sure why she didn't email or call my work number though. Anyway we got a match. A younger birthmom named Mary and she picked us because I reminded her of herself. I really liked her and connected really well. Baby was a little boy.
    Not really surprised by this as the adoption has been on my mind a lot lately. We're planning a get together in March with our group we went through the home study with. There is another group on FB that is statewide for our agency of waiting families....found out via there that someone knows a family that had a FIVE year wait (average is more like two years). I can handle two years, maybe three. But not sure about five! Not sure that we would hold on that long. My group started with seven families in it...of those, three have ended up pregnant and either on hold or drop out. Two have gotten matched and have little baby boys at home. So just two of us waiting still.
    And I have been talking a lot about getting the nursery ready.....again. Sounds like almost everyone I have talked to has the room ready or is getting it ready while waiting. They call it paper pregnant....we're expecting but no idea when.

    I have also had a few dreams in the past of a little girl. So not putting any stock into the dream.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Kate, I would let Bo sleep with him. Does he need to be still crated at night? I stopped night crating Molly around a year old. She LOVES to sleep with someone and be curled up or pushed up against them. Cosmo sometimes sleep with us and sometimes she goes off on her own in the office....she loves the futon we have in there. I'm hoping that once we have a child in a bed that Molly will go off and sleep in there.....I have a strong feeling that Molly will really bond with the little dude.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I am so excited for you to welcome your baby, Jennifer.

    Kate, Kai comes into our bed every night. This is just me but I'd never tell him no. If he needs to be with us, he needs to be with us. Luckily, dbf is fine with this too. Sometimes he will come out of his room and ask if he can fall asleep in my bed, even though we aren't in there yet, and I say yes to that too. I will carry him into his bed when I go to sleep but he comes back later. I honestly can't see any harm in it at all, unless it causes strife in the marriage or it prevents someone from getting a good night's sleep. Savana used to crawl in bed with us too but she never does anymore so I'm confident that eventually Kai will grow out of it too. And when he does I will miss him.

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    Jennifer, I hope you don't have to wait much longer. Can't imagine how difficult that must be. And don't sweat about the nursery. Babies have gotten along JUST FINE without nurseries for thousands of years. If you get the call tomorrow, and your nursery is not done, no big deal. Your baby won't care.

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    I'm glad I've been saying your name correctly, Suja! I need to get used to non-English names as the area I'll probaly be doing my student teaching is mainly a Muslim area. I was doing a reading activity with some kids whose reading levels are below average and they all freaked out when they saw the name "Shafali." I would have too if I couldn't even read words like "tractor!" I just guessed at it and pronounced it phonetically.

    I'm not a bug person either, but I do try not to kill them. I am fascinated by them and could go all day searching for bugs in the garden, but I hate when they get in the house. If it's a spider, I try not to kill it or let the kids see that I'm terrified by it, but if the kids aren't around, I will kill them. My mother is allergic to spiders and nearly died when she was bit by one, so I have a grudge against them.

    Kate, Travis tries to sleep in our bed every night, but we usually get up and put him back in his bed, only because he sometimes still wees the bed, and our bed doesn't have a mattress protector on like his bed does. We have recently moved Cash in to his room to try to make him feel less scared about being alone. They sleep in separate beds, but it is helping that they are in the same room. This morning, when I went to wake them up, they were both in Travis' bed. It was cute. My MIL says that she slept in her mum and dad's bed until she was 10 or so. She was an only child.

    I had a crazy day at school today; the teacher was away on a course and I had to teach some of the lessons at the end of the day, and the kids were just nuts. I hate when they don't just do as they are told.

    Mandy, I think Light-of-my-Life sounds like a good name.

    I'm off to have a bubble bath with my Lush goodies. I need to reflect on the day and just chill for a bit.

  20. #38300

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    Bridget, so he does fall asleep in his own bed but then comes to yours later? I would actually have less of a problem with that if he would just fall asleep in his own bed first. Neither one of us wants to go to bed with him at 8:00!

    Jennifer, we do still crate Bo. I guess we're not sure if he'd sleep all the way through the night or get up and get into stuff. We keep our bedroom door open or the heat won't get in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Weren't you considering changing your handle? Maybe it should be 'Light-o'-everyone's-life'. I would love to see people try to do that one on a touchscreen keyboard.

    You are right about how my name is pronounced. The 'j' is a 'j'. I have heard all sorts of variations, though - Suha, Suya, Sooha, Sooya, Sunja, Sinja,.... The 'th' is also a 'th'. It is pretty much pronounced exactly as it is written.

    I should tell you guys about this. When DH goes to wake Mira up, Pan (dog) and Finn (cat) go with him. So, now they're her 'posse'. Specifically, the cow posse and the tiger posse. The other day, she woke up by herself, played a little, and then wanted to know where her posse was.
    That's so cute!

    Light-O'-Your-Life would work too.

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I'm curious if any of you with kids around 5 or 6 years old still sleep with them? I'm going to guess no, but I thought I'd ask. Josh always asks me to sleep with him. I've tried to explain that mommies and daddies sleep in the same bed and kids sleep alone. I've bought him a myriad of lights, stuffed animals that talk, kept his light on, let him play in his room until he gets tired...but he just wants someone who is alive to sleep with. We've considered moving Bo's crate in there-I suppose that's the next step. We are just tired of the endless dragging out of bedtime, points systems to try to get him to bed smoothly and almost nightly discussions on this for over half an hour.
    I'd love for Conner to sleep with me, but he refuses. Rich, however would prefer if Conner slept in his own bed, but he refuses to do that and insists on sleeping with his dad. Kids have oppositional defiant disorder built in, me thinks. They do the opposite of what you want them to.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Kate, is it just that he needs someone with him to fall asleep, or does he want to sleep with you all night? I had to lay with my older dd to help her fall asleep until she was pretty old -- like 8 or 9. She just had a hard time falling asleep and had separation anxiety. We would read together, then turn off the light and I would lie next to her until she fell asleep, then sneak out. She was generally ok in her bed for the rest of the night. If she woke up with a nightmare or needed me in the middle of the night, I'd generally go in and lay with her again until she fell asleep. That way we both still had our own sleeping space, but I was with her when she needed me.
    If it had been more a middle of the night coming into my bed thing -- I would probably still have let her. Like Bridget said, if he needs it he needs it. They do eventually grow out of it. DD is now quite self-confident and would not dream of wanting to sleep with me.

    Noe, on the other hand ... still sleeps with us. She starts the night out in her own bed (like with DD1, one of us lies with her until she falls asleep, then leaves) but she always wakes around midnight and we bring her into bed with us for the rest of the night. I know she'll grow out of it soon -- probably a lot sooner than DD1 did.

    But if you'd really rather not get into the habit, I think seeing if he'll find comfort in Bo is a great idea! How about leaving his door open so he can see/hear you guys... or does that keep him awake?
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Jennifer, I hope you don't have to wait much longer. Can't imagine how difficult that must be. And don't sweat about the nursery. Babies have gotten along JUST FINE without nurseries for thousands of years. If you get the call tomorrow, and your nursery is not done, no big deal. Your baby won't care.
    Oh I know that. The room is for me and DH. Seriously we actually had a fight about it last week. I was ok with just getting a crib that matched my baby dresser but it's dark wood and he doesn't want it because the office next door has dark wood. OMFG. I agree with what the ideal color would be for the furniture but cannot seem to tell online (one picture looks right but next one does not of the same set). DH is super particular about how things look.....I moved a few knick knacks a bit in one place and he moved them back to the "right place".
    Plus we need to paint the room....right now it's grey and it's not right for the decor set I bought two years ago (I basically bought it all...wall paper border, valance, bedding (even though I know half the bedding cannot be used), rug, lamp, light switch cover....I bought it all.

    I also bought a pack n play already....showed MIL it over the weekend and she was just amazed how easy it was and how cool it is. Been 36 years since she's had a baby around.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    The twins would love to sleep with us, and still ask about it, but they end up using each other for pillows or pointing in various ways on their bunkbed. DD in particular thrashes around all night. She cannot stay in one place. We would not get any sleep with them in our bed. We have a hard enough time with the constant interruptions from S. crying, and the few times a night one or the other one of them wakes up and tiptoes in to talk to us. But at least they have each other, and they do go to sleep without us.

    They go to sleep pretty well with bedtime stories and then white noise or stories on CD. DD likes things like Curious George or Frog and Toad, and DS likes King Arthur or Robin Hood or Galileo and the Stargazers. But once we start letting them in to cuddle with us on occasion, they start doing it more and more and more and pretty soon they start coming in at midnight to cuddle and staying all night and they're back to sleeping with us.


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    Syd used to frequently come to our bed in the middle of the night. She stopped once Conner was born. Except during thunder storms. She's 14 and I wouldn't be surprised to find her in my bed after a bad night even now. She's cute.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Mira doesn't come into bed with us, but I usually end up in her bed anyway. DH's snoring bothers me (and her), so I end up moving in the middle of the night. Either that, or she'll wake up and ask for me. I do lie down with her until she falls asleep as well. I like looking at her when she's sleeping. All sweet and innocent, no tantrums, no tears, no screaming, hitting, breaking down over every small thing....

    Jennifer, a toddler is going to drive your DH crazy, if he likes everything just so! Mira is very good about not making/cleaning up her messes, but things get moved around A LOT. Just being curious, and investigating stuff.

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    Does Bo behave pretty well when you are all home? he's been with you about a year? I have found Molly doesn't leave the bed usually unless she has to potty but she pretty much stays put all night most nights. We do still crate if we are both leaving the house but I am thinking of testing her out soon with a few small short trials.
    She has one awful behavior that is why she hasn't gotten left out yet....just when we think she's given it up, she will eat Cosmo poo. So disgusting and other than that, she is a great dog. So we cannot leave her out because if Cosmo happens to go when we are not home, she would probably eat it. I'm thinking about trying to trap her and spray some with bitter apple...what we used when she chewed on my couch and it worked. Right now the plan has been to limit access and punishment when caught in the act.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Oh I drive him nuts as it is. LOL I like to leave water bottles in every room. And he's gotten so much about about the dogs toys...he used to constantly pick them up and he doesn't mind as much now when they have a trail of them all over the house and only picks them up once a day. They kind of have a lot of toys.

    Thankfully most of the knick knacks that could be moved are up higher.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Yeah, he has been with us about a year. I thought it was less but I have early pictures of him on facebook from Feb. 2012. Crazy! We have tried leaving him out of his crate when we go out but when we come back if we aren't careful to close everything up before we leave, we find he's gotten into some food or one of Josh's toys he leaves lying around. The same thing would probably happen if we were at home asleep.

    I think Josh just wants to fall asleep with one of us. That's what we used to do when he was a toddler. It eats up a lot of time and I usually ended up falling asleep with him and DH would come in later and wake me up. I really don't want to get into that again. I don't know if it's a separation anxiety because he's fine at school and other activities without me. He does complain that he doesn't get to spend enough time with me. We do a lot of separate activities when he comes home, but that's not for lack of trying. I always ask him if he wants to do something with me and he usually says no, but then he acts like he's starved for attention when he goes to bed.

    DH has become a real brat about the parenting. Every time Josh wants something that inconveniences DH even a little bit, I can see the temper on his face. It's gotten so bad that I told DH last night to just not bother if he's going to be like that. I'd rather he sit in front of the computer and let me do everything if it's going to come down to Josh sensing that he's being an annoyance to DH. He claims he's too stressed out about work. Well I say that's life, but of course I can't think that without looking like a hypocrite because I don't work. But one of us has to. He has to work and help raise his kid. But I guess if he can't do both I'd rather he do a good job at work.

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    Wanted to say, I agree with Chrissy in that you all talk too much lol.

    I think I have finally caught up from my absence due to illness.

    My name is Erin for those that don't know. Welcome to the newcomers!! Always nice to have new folks around!

    Nothing special about my name. I was named after an uncle so it is just a female version of Aaron. I also like to joke that I'm black Irish lol. I get eye rolls most of the time. Recently an annoying lady at the park told me that I must subconsciously not like being a regular black American because of my joke. I told her no, and thought that was a funny comment but anyway, that is just me on a tangent. I do that sometimes.

    Wanted to put it out there that I am loving my new job so far!! It is so laid back and non-stressful and with our e-procurement system (I do procurement and contract management) it is like I have stepped into the 22nd century!! At my previous job we were really more paper based than this new place and it took a LONG time to get one procurement done. I got 4 done today in about 6 hours. My supervisor was impressed. I think I am really going to enjoy working here as everyone is pretty nice, except one guy who is kind of annoying, but even though he is annoying he is pleasant enough and I'll just limit my conversations with him.

    The only downside is that my assistant has a reputation for not working unless she is told specifically what to do and that is one of my pet peeves in the workplace, people waiting around for people to tell them what to do, since in the field I've been working in for the past few years, there is ALWAYS something to do. If someone tells you to do something, it is probably something extremely urgent that should have been done on "down time." So we shall see if I can work with this lady. I do think I can give her tasks that will keep her extremely busy though. Even though we do an internet based system, we still have to keep paper files and I would like all of the paper files audited and re-organized the way I want them and that will probably take her a month or so. She also has a reputation for being extremely slow, so we shall see.

    Erin

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