Secular Confessions

[Suja]

Trying to think logically. Flu is believed to be spread by sneeze/cough/talk droplets from the sick person (or carrier) landing on someone uninfected. If a child can remain contagious 7 days after starting symptoms, then the oldest would likely be non-contagious by Monday, and the youngest, by Wednesday. IF you decide that they can come back, be sure to have them wash their hands immediately upon entering, so that they aren't touching infected surfaces and passing it along to your household. It isn't unreasonable, IMO, to ask that they not come back until everyone in the household is better yet again.

[Suja]

On a completely unrelated note, our niece, who is applying to colleges in the US (she lives in Singapore) is coming to visit in February. Well, she is doing campus tours, and we're 'home base'. It should be interesting, because she's going to University of Michigan, University of Chicago, Northwestern, and Carnegie Mellon, in February, and there is probably going to be something like a 100 degree difference between where she's coming from, and where she's going.

She just might decide, to heck with Academics, she'd rather be warm and go to University of Florida.

[missychrissy]

How exciting for her! But man, I wouldn't want to go to school in any of those cities! TOO COLD!!!

On a somewhat related note, one of my 'users' Keith, took this video of kids on campus the other day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6cAFQ-u4Tw We got a chuckle from the one that said he's going back home to Africa.

[Suja]

LOL! I love the tagline at the end. This young lady is in for a rude awakening. She was talking about wearing skirts and formal shoes. She has NO IDEA what cold really feels like.

[missychrissy]

I just got one of the benign dreaded phone calls of a kindergarten mama...Conner had an accident of the worst kind. He had diarrhea in his pants at school. And as if that isn't bad enough, the nurse explained it was down to his socks and while she was doing the best she could, he'd need a shower or bath immediately.

I'm so worried about how embarrassed and upset this might make him. My poor baby. I'm also concerned because obviously he has a belly ache and isn't feeling well, but what could be worse than having that happen in school?

[missychrissy]

LOL! I love the tagline at the end. This young lady is in for a rude awakening. She was talking about wearing skirts and formal shoes. She has NO IDEA what cold really feels like.

Yeah, that was pretty clever. Keith sits a couple cubes down from me & is a very funny dude.

[Suja]

Poor Conner! It is bad enough, being sick. Do you/Rich get to pick him up right away?

[missychrissy]

I called my brother and he's going to pick him up for me.

[Suja]

And I'm off to pick up Mira, before we're hit with snowmageddon! If you don't hear from me again, you'll know that we got eaten by the massive, 1" snow drifts.

[missychrissy]

And I'm off to pick up Mira, before we're hit with snowmageddon! If you don't hear from me again, you'll know that we got eaten by the massive, 1" snow drifts.

We'll wait with bated breath for your safe return.

[Cosmosmom]

the inch of snow (maybe even two) didn't eat me!

far as cold goes, chicago area isn't that bad. They tend to stay mostly in the teens or above most of the time. My MIL is in that area and she often runs about 20 degrees higher than we are.

Poor Conner! I have heard that there is a lot of that norovirus going around.

[missychrissy]

The nurse didn't say he was vomiting...? But what do I know. Maybe they don't always have that symptom? I've been thinking about everything he ate at my house last night and I'm drawing a blank on that being the culprit.

[demigraf]

Had a talk today at work with parents of a little guy who has undiagnosed autism - parents have absolutely no idea their son has anything other than a "speech delay" which is what they all say - but they were talking about dealing with their him having a breakdown in stores and everyone around them feeling the need to give them parenting advice. I just feel so strongly that it is so not okay to judge a parent and their handling of their children's tantrums. Sometimes, and especially with a child on the spectrum, talking is the worst thing you could possibly do. Backing off and giving them space while ensuring safety is the only way to handle it because the more you say, the worse it will get and well-intentioned passersby who want to give advice about what works with their typically developing kids does absolutely no one any good. And no one knows what is going on with someone else's child.

Wow, that was some really great insight, Mandy. Thanks for sharing it!

Gretchen, the offer you got from your friend was incredible. Is there a way you could take you daughter(s) with you if R can't get away from work? I, in particular seems like she'd be more than helpful on a flight like that. *Hugs* for all the uncertainty you're dealing with. We thought my dad had hemachromatosis for awhile, so I'm aware of what it is. We have liver/blood disorders on his side of the family in general. I thought it didn't show up in women until much later in life (60+) due to the fact that we menstruate. I don't know that much about it, though, admittedly.

[demigraf]

Chrissy, poor Conner! You're lucky to have your brother on hand to pick him up. Now Conner can spend some time with his Uncle, while you can finish off your day knowing that he's in capable hands. I hope the little booger feels better soon.

Suja, have a good slog in the slow! We'll be here when you get back and feel like chatting. We should have a video share next week, where we post videos of our kids/pets taken over the weekend. Just because.

Oh, and just an update on the job thing. I sent the message to the sister manager last night, and she replied quickly:

M, check out the req online via xxxxxx.com and send me your résumé if you are interested. We certainly will need to arrange w D if things work out.

<Job ID: xxx>

Let me know.

M

So there is definitely a real job out there for me to go for. My DH feels strongly that I should loop in my manager, D, now, and I agree with him. There is a chance she's going to say, "Heck no! We on-boarded you less than 3 months ago, and you want to take off now?" I'm a little scared she's going to say that, actually. It's something I would think/say if in her shoes. Anyway, I'm thinking of forwarding her the full exchange with her sister, and casually asking: "Would you mind if I threw my hat in the ring for this? I wouldn't want to create a hardship for you, but I am highly interested in a stable, fulltime position for the sake of my family." I was even considering throwing in a vague mention of the fact that we could use the medical insurance, and let her think there might be a medical issue in the family. LOL. I could use your thoughts on this again, please, ladies.

[daylilies]

Oh poor Conner

[Cosmosmom]

For food poisoning, you have to look back at everything he ate for a couple of days.

[missychrissy]

Chrissy, poor Conner! You're lucky to have your brother on hand to pick him up. Now Conner can spend some time with his Uncle, while you can finish off your day knowing that he's in capable hands. I hope the little booger feels better soon.

Suja, have a good slog in the slow! We'll be here when you get back and feel like chatting. We should have a video share next week, where we post videos of our kids/pets taken over the weekend. Just because.

Oh, and just an update on the job thing. I sent the message to the sister manager last night, and she replied quickly:



So there is definitely a real job out there for me to go for. My DH feels strongly that I should loop in my manager, D, now, and I agree with him. There is a chance she's going to say, "Heck no! We on-boarded you less than 3 months ago, and you want to take off now?" I'm a little scared she's going to say that, actually. It's something I would think/say if in her shoes. Anyway, I'm thinking of forwarding her the full exchange with her sister, and casually asking: "Would you mind if I threw my hat in the ring for this? I wouldn't want to create a hardship for you, but I am highly interested in a stable, fulltime position for the sake of my family." I was even considering throwing in a vague mention of the fact that we could use the medical insurance, and let her think there might be a medical issue in the family. LOL. I could use your thoughts on this again, please, ladies.

That's the only downside to commuting in on a bus...I'm stuck here. Yeah, there's 'emergency' transportation, free of charge to me, where I can call for a ride to my car or wherever I need to go, but it would take far too long. The quickest the transportation dept can get to me is 20 minutes on a good day, and Conner is still nearly an hour and a half away from me once someone from transportation shows up.

I think your initial email sounds fine. It's too bad you weren't closer with your boss or see her more regularly. It could be something you bring up conversationally just so you can see her reaction for yourself. If she instantly looked dismayed, you could quickly point out that you're simply curious and weren't even looking, that you wouldn't have even known about it if her sister didn't approach you.

[3andMe]

Poor Conner! I think a lot of the GI illnesses in kids are related to viruses and not foods. It is more likely something contaminated that he touched with his hands and then secondarily his mouth. Something that sickened hundreds of kids here in San Francisco last year was one contaminated door handle at a school from one child throwing up on it in the morning. It was cleaned up, but not sufficiently, and not with bleach. By the end of the day, kids were lined up in the hallways throwing up into trash cans laid out for that purpose. It turned out to be a norovirus, and tons of people ended up getting sick from it, from both ends.

Mylah, I think your new email is fine, but I would definitely not allude to needing health insurance or make vague hints about unspecified medical troubles. It's obvious why a full-time benefitted position is superior. Of course it's nice to have benefits, and it's not just for health insurance. If you have a serious medical condition, it would make you a less desirable employee, but it would also be unethical for them to base any hiring decisions on that. So leave that out of it. There are reasons why people want to do temporary work, but a lot of people use it as a bridge to more permanent positions.

[Bridget]

So I guess that Dbf and I have gotten into quite the routine after Savana and Kai go to bed. He has a beer and I have that or a glass of wine and we eat popcorn and hang out on the living room couch playing scrabble and watching a show or movie. Sawyer usually hangs out with us for an hour or two longer than Savana and Kai stay up.

Well, we just cracked a beer early to enjoy with the fish chowder I made since we are in for the night and he just finished all his work. The second Sawyer heard that bottle pop he ran into the kitchen yelling, "Popcorn! Popcorn!". It took us a second to figure out why he was doing that. So funny.

[Gwenn]

Hey, a full moon is a full moon, after all!!

Wow, nice, 80s??? I guess you're not jealous of our mid-60s! If you don't mind my asking... Whereabouts do you live? Need any house guests??? ; )

I'm in Southern AZ. The weather has been pretty strange here - up and down from a high of 48 to a high of 80 a week later. Today it was in the 70s and next week the high is supposed to be 57 on Tuesday. My poor body is so confused. Make up your mind, weather. What season is it? But I'm definitely jealous of your lovely cool summers and the moisture!

Yes, where IS Erin? We miss you sweetness!!!!

I remember Erin saying she mostly got online from work and now that she is at home all day she will be spending much less time online. I miss her too. Erin, just peek your head in to let us know you are still around! Love you, girl!

BUT, there is one problem. Not insurmountable, but not small. I have a pathological, debilitating fear of flying.

My BFF is the same way, and she has never been able to bring herself to get on a plane. Which meant she missed my wedding and I didn't get to have her as my maid of honor. I forgave her. So I do understand what you mean.

So funny.

So cute!!!!

I am seriously, seriously annoyed right now. (Did I mention seriously? Because I'm not just a little annoyed. I'm seriously annoyed).

I took the afternoon off work because I had a dentist appointment at 2:00. I ended up leaving a little earlier and meeting a good friend for lunch and then went over at 2:00. Only to be informed that my appointment was at 1:00 and the hygienist had left because I was her last appointment of the day and I wasn't there at my scheduled time. I pointed out several times that my appointment was at 2:00 and was treated very rudely with multiple comments about how I wasn't there on time. I tried to find the appointment card in my purse but couldn't find it so I wasn't quite sure if I was wrong or she was, but I clearly remembered discussing 2:00 when I scheduled the appointment. She wanted to reschedule me the next week and tried to get me to leave work early again and I told her I would not be leaving early, she would need to find a time that was convenient for me. Eventually we found a time that would work.

When I got home DH asked if I was wrong, or the office was, and I told him I wasn't sure. So I checked the messages on the house phone (which I never use these days and is pretty much just a message machine since I never answer it and don't always even check the messages). I have a recording of the scheduler letting me know she had a cancellation at 1:00 and asking if I could come earlier than scheduled, and leaving a call back number. I never got the message so certainly did not respond. Somehow they thought it was okay not only to change my appointment time without confirming, but also to send the hygienist home because I wasn't there an hour early, and then treating my rudely when I told her my appointment was at 2:00!!!

I called back and asked to speak to the office manager and was told she was unavailable. The same idiot receptionist kept saying she wasn't sure where the confusion came from (I pointed out that there was absolutely no confusion, it was clear what had happened) and telling me she had made it up to me by finding me an open appointment next week. I tried to point out the flaw in that she had already given me the open appointment before she ever knew what she had done and asking to speak to the office manager just to be told that she would be "in and out." I told her I expected a call from her before the end of the day. It is now 15 minutes before they close and I have yet to hear from her.

Looks like I will be in the market for a new dentist.

[pepperlru]

I so would enjoy living in California with all you ladies. I think dh would like it, too. When we talk about living in the USA, he says he thinks he would be bored if we lived somewhere that he couldn't be in a band and play at bars. I cane imagine that we'll ever leave England any how.

If you moved to the Bay Area, he could be in a band with me. There are lots of bars in San Francisco.

[pepperlru]

That's pretty awesome! I used to work at the NIH, and the people that work there are top notch. If you do manage to make it here, I would love to meet you. Bethesda is not far; 25 or 30 miles from where I currently live.

Fear of flying truly does suck. My ex-SIL also has severe anxiety associated with flying (she has general anxiety issues as well), and it was horrific for her, flying to India (24-ish hours). I do hope that the UCSF hematologists can get to the bottom of this, so when you do fly here, it won't be to go see a doctor.

I hope so too! And if I do go to Maryland, it would be fantastic to meet you! One of the fun things about APA is knowing that wherever you go, there's the chance of being able to meet someone in person that you feel like you already know.

[pepperlru]

The four year old broke out in fever wed afternoon. Last night she was running 104. I'm just worried the oldest one will and the middle one will be fever free and she will want to bring them but they could still be carrying the virus since it's still in their house, you know?

I can see that. That's a tough one. I imagine having to set and enforce rules like that is one of the hardest things about caregiving. There's only so much you can do to protect yourself, but I'd want to be cautious too.

[pepperlru]

I'm so sorry about Conner! Poor little guy. I hope he's not too embarrassed. It happens to the best of us. Hope he heals fast too.

Mylah, I think what you're considering sending is very good. I'd definitely clue in your boss now to ask what she thinks, but it's totally reasonable to let her know that full-time + bennies is attractive to you. She will hopefully understand.

Re my HH, you're right about the prevailing idea that women don't get it until later in life. I have a strong family history of the disease -- my dad and my uncle both have it, and are symptomatic and in treatment. When my dad was dxed several years ago, they told us that my brother should be tested, but for my sis and I not to worry. So, I didn't worry. A year ago, I went to my GP with ongoing fatigue and major pain in the fingers of both of my hands (a classic symptom of HH). She told me I was just getting old and probably getting arthritis. She never mentioned testing my iron levels, despite my family history. The frustrating thing about that is that if I'd been dxed back then, when my platelets were still ok, I could have had simple treatment and would be avoiding a lot of the worry and complications now (not to mention the damage that may have been done to my body by the excessive iron). So, while it is true that it is less common for women, and especially less common for younger women to get it (I joke a lot about being in the Old Men's Club), I'm living proof that it happens.
When I had the genetic testing, it showed that I am homozygous for an HH gene mutation. So I have two copies of the gene that causes HH, which is why I am symptomatic at a young age.

[Bridget]

Mandy I would PISSED.

[Gwenn]

So it gets weirder. The office manager did finally call me back shortly after closing time. She said my appointment time was for 1:30 - not for 2:00 or for 1:00 - and that they took a patient who arrived at 1:50 but didn't take me. If the hygienist went home after I didn't get there at 1:00 - how did they take the 1:50 patient? And why doesn't anyone seem to know what my real appointment time was? Although it apparently wasn't 1:00.

[demigraf]

Thanks for your advice again, guys.

L, your advice on alluding to a medical condition was good. I wasn't going to allude to my own condition, but point taken. ;) Any condition in the family would be a distraction and thus less of a reason to hire me. I'm actually not of the mindset that fulltime w/ benefits is superior to consulting, which is why it didn't seem as obvious to me. Fulltime + value of bennies is still less than consultant income minus out of pocket cost of equivalent bennies, including unpaid time off for vacation. I'm just a little tired of the jobshopper lifestyle at this point. So the only thing better about being a full-timer is the fact that I don't have to do another sprint to find my next paycheck when the sun sets on my contract. I still prefer the detachment you're allowed to have as a consultant. As a fulltimer, you're expected to be much more emotionally invested in your team and the success of the company.

So on that note, here's what happened: I had a 2:00 meeting with me, my boss and this other person. That person never showed up, which left me alone in a room with my boss, and we talked for over an hour about my projects. At the end, she asked me if I was happy with her team, because she sensed I was still reserved. I've never even met the team, to be honest. She has 30+ people, and the only ones I've met were ones I've introduced myself to if I bumped into them or they sit nearby. My boss herself is always rushing around, so today was the longest I'd ever spent one-on-one with her. Long story short, I told her about the job her sister wanted me to apply for. She said she knew about it, and that she'd told her sister to feel free to approach me. She said, "I'll be honest with you, I told her I know your work is good, but I just don't know you yet. So I told her she could talk to you, but I can't vouch for you on a personal level." She then went on to say that she still is considering me for the open req on her own team, but she's been waiting for me to "drop my reserve".

I really don't know what to say to that. I'm pretty quiet, but cordial. And in fact, I've felt there have been a couple of times that I've been able to talk with her on a friendlier level than I do with most of my bosses. So it makes me a little afraid that she expects me "come out of my shell" more. I've felt like I've been myself since I've been here, and the main reason I've been quiet is that I just have no business reason to talk to other people. Was I supposed to come up to other teammates that I pick out of the online directory and invite them to lunch? Does she really want to see my corny sense of humor? I'm really unclear on how I can give her any more of what she wants and still be myself.

Anyway, she's fine if I just forwarded my resume to her sister, so I'll work on it this weekend.

[Gwenn]

Myles, that is very strange. What an odd thing for her to be concerned about.

[missychrissy]

Well, we just cracked a beer early to enjoy with the fish chowder I made since we are in for the night and he just finished all his work. The second Sawyer heard that bottle pop he ran into the kitchen yelling, "Popcorn! Popcorn!". It took us a second to figure out why he was doing that. So funny.

That is too cute!!!!

So it gets weirder. The office manager did finally call me back shortly after closing time. She said my appointment time was for 1:30 - not for 2:00 or for 1:00 - and that they took a patient who arrived at 1:50 but didn't take me. If the hygienist went home after I didn't get there at 1:00 - how did they take the 1:50 patient? And why doesn't anyone seem to know what my real appointment time was? Although it apparently wasn't 1:00.

They're obviously a very disorganized office. If they can't even figure out the details of one appointment, imagine what a mess they could potentially make of the charts? Just sayin. And even if you'd been mistaken (clearly you weren't this time, but still), there's no excuse for the staff to be rude to you.

Anyway, she's fine if I just forwarded my resume to her sister, so I'll work on it this weekend.

Well, that's something at least. I couldn't guess what she's expecting of you either. If she wanted you to be closer with her team, she'd need to take you around, introduce you, perhaps have a group lunch or staff meeting or something. It sounds to me like you've always been professional...and her vague comments about a position aren't fair if she's not clearly saying, "In 3 weeks" or "months" or whatever timeframe she has in mind. Maybe she wants you to jump up and down and excitedly clap your hands in glee when she dangles that carrot?

Conner is behaving 100% normal although he is a little pale, warm, and has rosy cheeks. He will not tell me where he was when his 'accident' happened in school, but he doesn't seem worried about returning so.... :shrug:

[Gwenn]

Poor Conner. I didn't comment earlier. How sad for him. I'm glad he's okay with going back.