Thanks for this, Myles. I am so fortunate to have such supportive friends in here.
Originally Posted by demigraf
I am not sure I am really articulating my problem well. My mother is certainly overprotective but I do have strategies in place for dealing with that - I really do take steps back when I need to and I don't let myself get overwhelmed the way some of the ladies on APA in general seem to. And she certainly isn't pushing me to have kids although I know it would make her extremely happy. It's just that she is a mother to the core (which she should be!) and I think my own issues of having that role denied me are making me impatient with that role if that makes sense. I wonder if there is some inner part of me that resents her having that role with me when I don't have it at all. The whole Christmas stocking thing I posted in Random really sums everything up in a nutshell - DH and I would like to have our own Christmas together as a family. He's in his 40's and I'm nearly there and just because we are the "kids" in the relationship doesn't make us any less a family of our own. But my parents just as much want to have that parenting role, (my mother much more so than my father), and I think the fact that my sister and brother live on the other side of the country makes it even more intense. It's just hard and I think holidays in particular bring all of those issues to the fore. In particular I think DH and I both resent that we don't have our own kids to open presents with in our own house Christmas morning and we resent being forced to continue to play that role for my parents.
You are right, Myles, and I am a grown woman and I DO have a family of my own, kids or no kids. It has no bearing on my independence. It is just hard. Thanks to all of you for letting me vent about it.
My mother can be - not judgmental exactly, although she is to a certain extent - but really more of a gossip about family issues and concerns. She spends a lot of time discussing how others live their lives even though she is a very accepting person for the most part, especially considering her generation. But she puts family first, and she has complained to me that I place more emphasis on my relationships with long-distance friends (you guys ) than I do with my cousins and other extended family. I love my cousins - but you guys are my friends. And that takes priority for me over distant cousins who, honestly, haven't extended that interest to me any more than I have to them. Not that I love them any less, but we are in different places and there are too many issues in the way with some of these relationships.
Topic change - Shelley, that weekend sounds like a blast! Let us know how it goes and I would love to see pictures of your outfits!
And Ash, that's great that Travis is doing so well with reading. I had no doubt he would be a great reader with you as his mom.
Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12