Secular Confessions

[Cosmosmom]

Oh we want to visit Seattle. Actually considered it for our vacation this year but DH decided he wanted to drive there and from where I live, that turns it into a two week vacation. We don't have enough time for that right now.

We wanted to stay within a drive from our families but had a list of yes states and no states when we were looking for jobs. He had a couple of interviews in Philly and NJ but they contacted him back after we accepted my job. Plus that kept us in WI and only about 5 hours from family......so we see them each a couple of times a year (they come up, we go down).
The thing with TX for us was while it was Houston and great pay....he would have been away in trailers for weeks at a time. Leaving me alone in a new city. Wasn't the lifestyle we wanted....it's bad enough if I go for two or three nights to a conference.
We ruled out super hot states....a lot of his job would have been working outside and we are not heat people. And really crazy red states (like South Dakota) because we are very liberal. WI isn't acting very blue right now which is annoying but at least it swings back and forth.

L, I agree, you don't see like a Chicago person. I like their museums but otherwise am not much a fan of it or the people there (generally).

I do like where we live now....pretty safe place, low traffic, not too far a drive from the Twin Cities if we wanted to do something big city. My ideal would have been Madison though.

[Cosmosmom]

Bridget that really sucks because it's obvious that it isn't something you would do since you would have many kids always with you and are used to having kids.

Didn't this happen more than once in WI though? But maybe the other times the child didn't die? I want to say that it's come up in the news more than once.

I have personally known two people who have forgotten their kids...once was after the first was born and a few months old and they weren't thinking and left for a walk. The other was a grandpa watching the baby and forgetting and leaving the house. At least those were both in a house, safely in a crib and couldn't really move or go anywhere.

[daylilies]

I can't remember if I ever nearly forgot Josh somewhere. I think he's always been so noisy he's impossible to forget. LOL

Well, when he was a newborn he did sleep a lot in the car.

It doesn't make you a terrible person, Chrissy. I can totally see if someone's a tired parent or they're doing something different from routine, like you don't usually have the kids at that time, how someone could forget. Sometimes we forget we have a dog. We leave him in his crate when we go downstairs in the morning or we forget he's outside. He barks if he feels lonely for too long though!

One time a few months ago I left him outside when I went out. DH came home not long after and found him outside. Poor Bo.

[Suja]

I confess I nearly left Jesi in the car when she was a newborn. I suppose that makes me an awful person...but I can relate to how easily a person can become so distracted they 'forget' they have a child with them. I would think the chances of forgetting when you're with someone else's child would be even greater.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...022701549.html (Tough read; proceed with caution)

It happens to good people, good, responsible parents.

[raspberry]

Kate, good luck on your procedure. Bladder stones sounds painful.

Florida was *never* on my list when I thought about moving from Alaska. I never wanted to live on the east coast. I almost went to college in Arizona or Calif. Seattle was also on my list. It's funny how life happens. My brother moved her in the mid 90's, when I was tired of AK, I made the leap and moved here too. Now all my siblings live here, something I thought would never happen. It is a beautiful place- but the people aren't very friendly and our city has a high cost of living.

[dana_renay]

It's funny, sometimes I work from home and DD goes to daycare. But at lunchtime, I might watch Netflix while I eat or something. And every once in a while, I'll get a freakout feeling for a split second of 'where's dd???' because I forget I DON'T have her, lol.

I lived in Dallas for a while in my early 20's. Not a fan. Great food, but everything else....like I said, not a fan. I did find a group of other non-Texans to hang out with (who also were not really big fans of Dallas, lol). I do love Chicago, but I don't know if I would love living there. Same with the CA coast...DH's sisters live in LA and we've been out a few times. Last time we drove from Carmel, down through Big Sur and all the other gorgeous towns, back to LA. It was so beautiful, but I feel like living there would make me feel constantly inadequate. I have no explanation for why I feel that way.

I watch very little TV since DD was born. I used to prefer reading most of the time, although I would go through spurts of watching LOTS of TV. But I will sometimes read a book and watch TV at the same time. I have a weird brain. DH and I don't have similar taste in TV shows a lot of the time. I'm glad he doesn't get offended when I don't want to watch with him.

[dana_renay]

Suja, I wish I had not read even a little bit of your link. Tragic.

[Suja]

Kate, hope your procedure goes smoothly.

If I could, I would love to live in Suburban NYC. I love everything about that city, the vibe, the pace, the suspicious/rude people, just everything. DH would hate it though. He's so bad, he commuted from Philly (daily!) when he worked at a Wall Street firm. As a compromise NoVA works. DC is there for all the artsy, cultural stuff, The Smithsonian Museums are awesome (and FREE!!!), and while this place is not exactly the culinary capital of the world, it is up and coming in that department, and there is very good food here. Now that Mira is older, I'd love to get her into shows and performances and concerts. I used to go to off-off-off-off Broadway productions of Aristophanes plays, and kitschy knock off of Broadway shows, and such. It was a riot; I really enjoyed watching live performances, especially when I was sitting so close to the stage I could count the zits on the actors' face.

And I want to travel to the left coast. Definitely visit SF. In addition to the lovely APA ladies, I also have a cousin that works there, and DH has tons of classmates in the vicinity.

[Suja]

Suja, I wish I had not read even a little bit of your link. Tragic.

Sorry! Maybe I should have put a warning.

[Bridget]

I stated before that I can see how it could happen with a frazzled parent. Dbf and I have even discussed, and he's admitted, that he/we could see it happening with him if he took Sawyer out because he never does. So he's been making a habit of always looking in the back seat when he gets out no matter what. Looking at each carseat, even if he's "sure" the kids are not with him. And I remind him of it all the time, he tells me he does it. We started this ever since that guy went to work without dropping the baby at daycare. That story really hit us hard. (Don't know if that's the one you posted, Suja)
But when you run a daycare it's standard protocol to account for each child in your care at LEAST every half hour. Me, if I'm even in my front yard with kids I am constantly counting them, probably every 10 minutes. And especially when travelling, each child must be accounted for every time the location changes. In the vehicle. Off the vechicle. Inside the destination site. Coming out. On the vehicle. Off the vehicle. Back to home base. All those times someone should be accounting for each child. When I worked in a center, two of the Head Start teachers left a child at a park. They didn't even realize she was missing until the mother showed up to pick her up. She was found by the police wandering down a sidewalk alone. She was non-verbal so had to go to the hospital for a full exam to rule out abuse of any kind. These teachers were not even fired! They just implemented a new rule of taking attendance every 15 minutes. I'm sorry but any provider that doesn't do that without being told is seriously lacking judgement.

Suja, thanks for the compliment. You warmed my heart.

Kai was so cute this morning. He came in my room and said, "Mom, I still miss J." (stepbrother)
I said, I know, that I did too. Then he said, "He didn't stay long at all."
I said, "Yeah, it went by really fast. It's like they always say, 'time flies when you're having fun'" and Kai said, "Next time I'm not going to have any fun at all so time moves really slowly." Lol. I feel so bad how much he misses him. J would play for really long stretches of time all these games they invented about zombies and he was clever about the way he played with them, he let them wrestle him, whip their stuffed animals at him, things that I don't really enjoy doing with them. I told him when he left that he put me to shame and I can't compete with his play skills!

[missychrissy]

You're obviously cut out to be a daycare provider, Bridget. I don't think everyone is...hence the need to create rules and alarms for things you just take for granted as common sense.

Suja, I didn't even dare look. I've made a new rule for myself that I will not read about any bad things happening to children. I just can't. I was a mess for a long time after Sandy Hook...I've gotten to the point where I prefer to be oblivious.

[AmeriBrit]

Tonight was night 1 of 3 where myself and some other colleagues are learning how to defend ourselves from violent students/parents. We learned how to release ourselves from a hold if someone grabs you by the wrist. Next week, we'll learn some more moves. We're also learning what is legal and what is not. It's an interesting side to the job....

[3andMe]

I've had some of those classes when I was a nursing student at a VA hospital. The hair grab is a fun one, too. It's nice to have a few basic self-defense techniques.

Suja, I knew without even having to look what that article was, and I've read it at least twice before. It's been posted on APA before as well. It is very sad, and does make for strong emotions. It is so easy to believe that it could never happen to anyone who is a careful and responsible parent, but it happens often enough. I could easily see it happening to a sleep-deprived parent who is out of the normal routine, with a quiet child in the back.

[raspberry]

It is so tragic. Sadly, it happens here nearly every summer. About two years ago, a father picked up his toddler daughter from daycare, took her to the doctor and then forgot her, he went to work and discovered her 5 hours later. He was a father of three that just simply forgot her. He speaks out now how it can happen to anyone. I don't recall it happening in Alaska.

[missychrissy]

Ash, that sounds awful! I mean, it's probably good to know but just thinking that they feel it's necessary for you to learn that is alarming.

I'm feeling hypersensitive lately. I wanna cry, but can't. Again. I went through this last year. Maybe it is seasonal affective disorder.

[raspberry]

Chrissy does it help if you watch a sad movie? Sometimes a good cry is all you need.

Are you still planning a trip to AZ?

[missychrissy]

I probably have reason enough to cry...I just can't.

The trip to AZ is on hold. Unexpectedly, my long-lost cousin invited me to her wedding in St Louis, MO so if at all possible I want to go there. Her father (my uncle) had commit suicide when she was 4 and her brother was 1. Shortly thereafter, her mother moved them down south and we rarely saw them again. I think the last time I saw Heather, she was 10. She's 31-ish now. So it's kinda a big deal. I am looking forward to that and I'm sure my blue mood will be long behind me.

[Ky'sMom]

Hi people!

And special "hi" to Myles and Shelley since we haven't seen you in a while.

I know I haven't been on much. I usually log on at work the most during lunch/breaks and guess what????? They fired me because of some fabricated reason. They haven't given me a separation notice yet so I don't know the reason. My boss said it came from her boss in our corporate office, which is out of state and I do believe her since they are some assholes lol.

Anyway, I got offered the job with my former boss anyway so I will more than likely take that one. I spoke to them today about salary and will try to get about 10K more than what I was making. Funny to me because my boss and my atheist co-worker who I adored said they were going to beg to see if I could come back for 2 weeks at least and convince corporate to accept my resignation, but really I don't want to go back. Other than a couple of my co-workers, they were really getting on my nerves and stressing me out. I am looking forward to the new job or grad school. Someone asked about that, can't remember, but they usually don't give responses until the spring, the earliest I believe is March, but usually April so there is still some time to wait.

I also have had a lot going on. My aunt moved in and her bedroom is my office, so I can't get on my computer as much. She is such a sad and frustrating person to me. Right now she is in jail about a traffic thing. Her son backed into a car and she took the blame for him. Instead of making her son pay for the ticket, which was $150, she just let it slide, then went to court and they put her in jail and told her she has to do 20 days unless we pay the nearly $500 fee. So tonight I will be out probably a couple hours at the jail. Here in Atlanta they will put you in jail over very trivial traffic things, most people who move here from other areas, especially the Great Lakes region are usually surprised about it. They will put you in jail for an expired tag even. I did tell her this when she moved here and she has not been listening to me. I am about to go and get her and tell her that she may need to consider moving back to Ohio. I think her sons, both of them but especially the older one who got this ticket when he knows his mom is out of work and he actually had a job making $12 an hour and not giving his mom any money, is just plain selfish. They are disrespectful of my aunt. She is really a sweet person but really did spoil her kids - let them walk all over her, not listen to her, do whatever they want, never demand or ask anything really of them. So I do see it as kind of her fault. So I am off to sit at the jail and see what kind of lies they have told me. They said I need to bring a money order, but on their website it says "cash only." Here in Atlanta people lie all the time, it is one of the things I hate here, so I have a feeling I will go down there with a money order and they will tell me that they do not accept money orders and that I need cash. So I'll be sure not to fill out the money order.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Oh my god Erin! I cannot believe they just fired you like that and you don't even know why! It sounds like you're taking that news far better than I would be. My heart aches for you though. How rotten of them...and you know what, I hope they DO ask you to come back even if you have no intention of ever going back there. The jerks.

About your aunt, that's indeed very sad. It sounds like she's still spoiling them, however, because she took the blame for her son hitting that car. At some point, they're going to have to be accountable for themselves. She really should put her foot down.

[Gwenn]

Erin, that's crazy! About your job, your aunt, Atlanta, all of it! I missed you though, so I hope you are back at work in the new position soon so I can see your posts again. And other stuff, too, you know.

Chrissy, I do think it's fairly common for parents to forget a kid when they are out of their routine. The difference is with childcare - that is their business. They were hired specifically to watch that kid. Meaning, watch it. And keep it occupied productively. Not to do whatever else they were doing and bring the kid along. It's like our janitor who never cakes the trash out if he can help it. I won't pretend I'm perfect about taking my trash out, but dude. You're a janitor. You are on the clock and being paid to take the trash out. Go take it out! If that analogy makes any sense at all!

[Suja]

Been a long day. When we got home from picking Mira up from school, we found Khan in a panic, and he was having his second (the last one was a year ago) episode of vestibular disease. We took him to the vet, on an emergency appointment. They were awesome. The room was ready, the tech came in promptly, the BP device worked like it is supposed to and his BP was normal, she got a blood draw in one shot (it has been years since that happened), his vitals were normal, and he had calmed down significantly.

Confirmed vestibular disease, central, not peripheral, we'll wait and see if he improves. While we were there, the vet got his urine sample, and sure enough, he has a UTI. Came home with Gabapentin and Amoxicillin. He is eating and drinking, and keeping it all down. The problem right now is that he is off his feet. At this stage of the game, he can't be off his feet for long.

On the way there, Rajesh and I talked, and decided that if there is no improvement in 72 hours, we will let him go.

Kind of mentally tired. Will catch up later.

[Gwenn]

Oh, Suja! I hope he improves soon!

[missychrissy]

Oh Suja. I'm sorry. Wishing for the best for you.

[Bridget]

Oh, Suja. I'm so sad to read this. I will keep you guys in my thoughts tonight.

[raspberry]

Erin, I am sorry about your job. That is just craziness.

Suja, I hope Khan recovers. Sending good thoughts your way.

[Bridget]

,How is Khan this morning?

Erin, I am in total shock that your job did that to you!

[missychrissy]

today is interview day! wish me luck. :-)

[daylilies]

Good luck Chrissy!

Erin, I'm sorry you got laid off! I was shocked too!

I could not read that story about the child who died-I got one paragraph in and already had tears in my eyes. DH is home-maybe I will read it next week when I'm home alone and can have a good cry.

Thanks for the well-wishes on the procedure. Lucky me I got my period yesterday so I feel like hell.

Suja, I'm sorry you're dealing with that

[Bridget]

Good luck, Chrissy!

[raspberry]

Good luck Chrissy!!!!