Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

Oh Bridget, I can only image

I'm alone on Christmas Eve and didn't even realize it till a friend mentioned it. He thought I'd be sad, but I'm not really. I mean, now that he brought it up of course I wish I were snuggling in watching Christmas movies with the kids. But I know I'm going to be with them first thing in the morning and I'm really excited about that. Even Bobbie is going to her dad's and we'll all be together. And this year with Kaleb too. I'm really at peace with how our lives are now compared with last year.

[Suja]

Chrissy, I had awful teeth as a kid, probably inherited from my dad's side of the family. I even had to have molars pulled because they were so far gone. My adult teeth are fine. I don't even have a cavity. I once had a nurse at the hospital I volunteered at ask me if those teeth were mine (A true WTF moment; whose teeth would I have in MY mouth?). Hope his adult teeth wok out fine.

[daylilies]

I'm sorry Bridget, I know you miss your mom

The tooth that Josh is about to lose is the one that he damaged a couple years ago. I was actually worried about it recently because it seemed to be getting darker (it got discolored when he fell and hit it on the stairs) but now that it's going to fall out I guess I don't have to worry about it.

[missychrissy]

Chrissy, I had awful teeth as a kid, probably inherited from my dad's side of the family. I even had to have molars pulled because they were so far gone. My adult teeth are fine. I don't even have a cavity. I once had a nurse at the hospital I volunteered at ask me if those teeth were mine (A true WTF moment; whose teeth would I have in MY mouth?). Hope his adult teeth wok out fine.

Good to know, thank you. You're the 2nd person I know that had bad baby teeth but perfectly fine adult teeth.

and wth about asking if your teeth were yours?! lol..people!

I'm sorry Bridget, I know you miss your mom

The tooth that Josh is about to lose is the one that he damaged a couple years ago. I was actually worried about it recently because it seemed to be getting darker (it got discolored when he fell and hit it on the stairs) but now that it's going to fall out I guess I don't have to worry about it.

I remember when that happened. Glad everything worked out fine. Yay!

[Suja]

Merry Christmas! Hope y'all have a fun and family filled day!

[AmeriBrit]

Merry Christmas, everyone! I'm listening to the kids play with their new toys and missing my own parents a little!

[Cosmosmom]

teeth are definitely genetic. I brush and floss as much as DH does and he has a lot of issues and I have never had a cavity. I totally got my dad's teeth....big and strong. I had to have my wisdom teeth extracted before they even started to think about coming up and it's pretty tight in my mouth making flossing sometimes hard. My sister has our mom's...small teeth, never even had all four wisdom and the two she had never came up...just tiny little things that stayed in her gums (mom was the one who still had a few baby teeth as an adult...just wasn't an adult tooth to push it out...I think that is pretty rare but because of her genetics, she took us in all the time even for baby teeth because she didn't know if we would be like her).

Even in dogs....Cosmo is awful and we take her in every year. She could even go in more often and DH brushes her teeth. His mom's dog at 14 had never had his cleaned, never brushed and they were still perfect looking.


Christmas is definitely a lot more boring without a kid. We don't exchange and only have a few things for the girls to "open". Didn't drive down to my parents this year and nobody came up this year. So we will just play a few games and watch TV. Next year his mom wants to come up. We are all hoping that maybe next year it will be a baby's first christmas one.

[Gwenn]

Christmas is definitely a lot more boring without a kid. We don't exchange and only have a few things for the girls to "open". Didn't drive down to my parents this year and nobody came up this year. So we will just play a few games and watch TV. Next year his mom wants to come up. We are all hoping that maybe next year it will be a baby's first christmas one.

This Christmas was rough for us. We didn't get a tree because of the puppy. DH and I are really trying to carve out a way to enjoy Christmas as a family ourselves. Every Christmas we end up spending at my parents' house sitting around with my parents in their 70's and us. My sister and brother and their families never spend Christmas with us so there are no nieces/nephews/grandkids to get in the holiday spirit with. At home DH and I can relax and we buy gifts for the puppies and spoil them as much as we like, but my parents insist on having us come over to "open gifts" with them and we all just end up sitting around uncomfortably and we can't really relax and enjoy ourselves. This year, DH and I decided we wanted to go to the Chinese buffet for dinner and ended up inviting my parents as a way of getting out of having to go over and sit around. Now they want us to come over after dinner for dessert and opening gifts. DH and I open our gifts together at home as a family. My dad is giving us help with kitchen repairs for Christmas (paying for the electrician and some of the parts) and told us not to buy him anything. So since they aren't getting us anything to open, what are we supposed to go over and open? It really seems like without children, it is really hard to get anyone to believe that we are a family ourselves and I will be the youngest child for the rest of my life. My sister and brother haven't spent a Christmas with my parents in the last 20 years.

I really don't want to complain - I love my parents and enjoy spending time with them. But spending Christmas with no kids and a couple in their 70's is incredibly awful.

In more happy news, M got developmental toys for Christmas - LOL! - and kitty came out and enjoyed her gift too. I took some videos and am going to try to post them to FB.

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy I can see fairly well where you are coming from minus the parents part since I'm the oldest and mine are still in their 50's. When we go back home, my cousins usually come over part of the time and they are little at 8 and 10 yrs old but we don't buy for them....they have almost everything and a rich grandma on my aunts wife's side. But it is a 5 hour drive to go back home and trying to get down around work and Wisconsin winter weather isn't that fun. and we were down for Thanksgiving. Least next year my MIL is planning on coming up and she is easy to get along with. Will watch movies with us or play games......and her and I like to drink brandy 7up together.

Yesterday DH and i were making the cutout sugar cookies and of course some of the break either in transferring to the sheet or getting them off the cookie sheet. We were both swearing at them and than realized that when we are doing that with a little dude....no saying effing cookie (really it was more like effing angel since that one broke the most and we have ONE that made it). Today we need to still frost them.

It is weird to try to come up with traditions.

And I really get you with the no tree....we didn't do one last year because Molly was like 13-15 weeks old. Even though we did one when Cosmo was that (both Sept babies we brought home in Nov).....but I had more energy when Cosmo was little and Cosmo learned faster. LOL A year makes a big difference because Molly has been totally fine with the tree.

So what toys did M get? The girls got a stuffed turtle, a stuffed tigger (which Cosmo loves) and a round rawhide that Molly loved but it's put up for now because she will get obsessed with it. I have to admit that we were really excited to see Cosmo playing with the toys this morning. She was really into them and was scratching at the wrapping paper. It's not even been 2 weeks on the pills and already she has a lot more energy and spunk to her and seems to be acting more her age. And we both think she is thinner but not sure how much yet. Only bad thing is we will see her jumping or running around and suddenly stop and start limping a bit like she forgot that she is 9 yrs old and has been inactive for a while. Hopefully it's like a person who hasn't worked out in a long time.....you are just kind of stiff and sore until the muscles are used to it again.

[Gwenn]

M got this shape-sorter like toy and a doggie jigsaw puzzle that he figured out how to open before we even put food in it. Literally as soon as I set it down on the floor, he had the thing opened. Took him longer to do it with food inside because he was distracted by the bag of food sitting on the table!

Gwennie got a soft chew toy that she loves and a glow ball for playing outside, and her favorite stuffed pig was washed and clean for her. And kitty got a feather toy thing and she seems to really like it.

Oh, and DH got a couple of things, too.

[Gwenn]

I'm glad Cosmo is playing more. Hopefully as she starts to feel better she will be able to play for a little longer at a time.

DH got me a wireless keyboard for my iPad. So I can actually type a response without it taking 20 minutes. But unfortunately, it doesn't seem to bring up autocorrect so L, I apologize that my strange word substitutions may decrease now that I am using my new keyboard! LOL!

[3andMe]

I really liked having the option to go "holiday light" before my kids were older. Now I feel kind of obligated to get a tree every year. I used to do it some years and not other years, depending on whether I felt able to, financially and time-wise.

My sister, BIL, and mom just left. I made brunch. The best part was when the twins gave each other the presents they had bought for each other. My aunt and uncle had given me Target gift cards last summer for their birthday presents, and I had just held onto them. DD wanted a Barbie, and I still wasn't sure if I wanted to get her one, so DS volunteered to get it for her. I first asked, "How will you get it? You don't have any money," but then I remembered the gift cards. So they each got each other what they wanted with the cards, and they were so happy and hugged each other in delight.

[Gwenn]

L, that is so adorable! Love that they were so pleased with each others' gifts.

[Bridget]

L, that is so sweet. It gave me chills. Sweethearts.

My kids are ecstatic over everything they got and telling me over and over how happy they are with their gifts which just makes my christmas.
Dbf got me a Kindle Fire! I was so surprised. I'm all thumbs lol. A lot to figure out and get used to. I'm used to my heap of a laptop.

[Gwenn]

How exciting, Bridget!

Just overheard from DH: "Can't find my pants. I was wearing them." LOL!

[missychrissy]

I nearly didn't get a tree for my apartment, but Syd kinda felt bad when I said I wasn't going to. So I bought a ridiculous one (fake) from the Family Dollar. Rich bought two trees for his house! It's a small house anyway. With two trees in it, there really isn't any room. He put on a really good dinner and we had a good time with the kids. Kaleb proposed to Jesi and gave her a real diamond ring. It's small, more like a promise ring, but he's been wanting to make it official for weeks now.

I think Syd was disappointed we didn't have a bday cake for her, but I'd been talking about having a slumber party at my apartment for her and her friends in January. I assumed she knew she'd get her cake then.

Rich bought me dishes and mom got me towels. I'm happy

[daylilies]

Chrissy, congrats to Jesi and Kaleb

Even before Josh was born we've always been into the holidays. We get a tree every year, put out Christmas decorations in the house (no lights outside, but sometimes candles in the window). DH loves to go gift shopping, more than I do. He gets thoughtful gifts and I'm the one asking for a wish list because I'm not great with creative ideas. I was proud I came up with a couple things that weren't on his list this year.

[Gwenn]

DH and I used to enjoy the holidays together. It's something to do with approaching 40 and still STC that is really making holidays awful.

I also think not having Nero is bringing things down, too. Nero really enjoyed Christmas and loved our Christmas tree. DH and I are both really missing him today.

[demigraf]

Just a quick SCUBJIA to tell you girls Merry Christmas and that I love you. I continue to be thankful each day to have you in my life.

[daylilies]

I'm sorry to those who had a Christmas that was missing something, or someone I thought of you guys all day even through the craziness and I hope all of you found a little happiness one way or another.

[missychrissy]

I definitely thought of y'all throughout the day. I really don't know how I'd have managed the last few years without everyone here.

[Bridget]

same here. love y' all.

[dana_renay]

Hi, all you wonderful ladies. Haven't posted here in a while. I couldn't take the shooting talk at all, sorry. I decided to be an ostrich about it. I read the last page or so, but I won't be catching up any further back than that, so I guess this isn't SCUBJIA...just JIA.

I think I've posted before that my DH is culturally Jewish, but an atheist. I'm an ex-Christian and atheist. Since leaving christianity, the winter holiday time has always been the most difficult time of year for me in terms of really wanting to celebrate a holiday but never finding that middle ground. For the past 12 years that I have been with my DH, we have done nothing to mark the holiday, apart from two extended family celebrations. Most years, I have bought him a gift and he has not reciprocated. A few years, we have gone on vacation.

SO. I really want us to establish some traditions as our own little family. And this year Dae was old enough to be interested in toys and able to unwrap presents, etc. And so I went to the mat, and argued most sincerely that we should celebrate a holiday this year. DH first suggested we celebrate Hanukkah, but I feel no connection to that and he didn't take any initiative to make it happen. We discussed celebrating solstice, but again, neither of us feels any connection there, plus he had made it very clear that he wasn't really on board with holidays in general and didn't seem like he would participate regardless. So I basically informed him that he didn't have to do anything, but Dae and I would be celebrating a secularized xmas. OMG, the drama. He told me it "literally goes against everything that is inside [him]" and said "it feels like you are forcing me to eat a cheeseburger" (he is a vegetarian). So, we argued until I gave up and said fine, we will celebrate nothing, and then he went out a bought a tree. WTF. We argued some more. We did end up doing the whole presents-under-the-tree-on-Xmas-morning thing, but honestly, it just felt hollow. Dae enjoyed it, but DH seemed shell shocked all morning, and it just ruined it. I want to talk to him about it while it's still fresh, so that next year isn't a repeat, but I don't even know what to say at this point. Thanks for listening.

Hope all of you and your families have found ways to have a wonderful secular holiday this year!

[Cosmosmom]

Dana....most of the traditional xmas stuff is secular anyway and often has pagan roots. Nothing about the tree is christian or religious.

[dana_renay]

I definitely made that argument, Jennifer! His rebuttal, basically, was that regardless of how it started, it was all culturally wrapped up in the christian tradition of Christmas now. Which is true I suppose. We both have a lot of baggage on this issue from our upbringings, lol.

[Suja]

I didn't want to say anything earlier, but we had a near miss with Khan right before Christmas. I was half way to figuring out just how bad it would be to bother his vet at home on Christmas so she could come home and do the needful. Fortunately, he has rallied, and as of now, will be around for New Year. He is drinking gallons, and basically has no bladder control. What really bothered me is that he sisn't want to eat, and I ended up hand feeding him. Today's weather is crappy enough I couldn't get a urine sample into the vet, but will try to do it tomorrow instead. Really hoping it's just a UTI and will clear up with meds, but I'm thinking it's his kidneys.

Christmas was otherwise good. Kidlet got a bunch of pink things (Legos, Disney play tent) and I gave her a small acoustic guitar. I have friends coming over tonight with their famous sweet potato casserole. They have apparently picked up "something hideous and pink and you'll hate it, but Mira will love it".

[dana_renay]

Suja - Sorry about your goggie. I do hope it is something that you can clear up. It's amazing how they can rally sometimes. We were anti-pink when Dae was born, but we've already given in to some extent, and she hasn't even begun expressing her own preferences yet. I secretly hold out hope that she will refuse all pink, but I have a feeling that it is not to be.

[Cosmosmom]

Dana, tell him to get rid of his baggage! I didn't grow up religious at all....and you can totally do winter holidays without the religion. You just pick and choose and make your own traditions.

Suja I have my fingers crossed it is just a UTI for Khan.

Umm.....I like pink. Actually I don't know if there is a color that I hate. I like most of them for different things. I like to wear jewel tones myself. I like earth tones in decorating for the most part. Maybe my least favorite is beige? And even that I picked for carpeting in my house. LOL I used to not like brown much at all but am drawn to that more and more lately.

[Bridget]

DAna I hope you can find a way to celebrate that feels right. I know for me that it has been evolving since the first Xmas with savana. This year I did a 25 days until Xmas countdown sort of a spinoff of an advent calender. Each day we either did something charitable or learned something new about the roots of certain traditions. We even talk about buying from local busineases and keeping things simple and Tryhomemade and try not to contribute to the mass commercialism. Then again, find ways to buy one or 2 things we normally wouldn't. Like the barking dogs that wall lol. I am alone in all my effoye so I know how you feel. So sorry for all the typos i am still getting used to this tablet

[AmeriBrit]

With having 2 boys, if I ever had a girl, she would be smothered in pink! I love pink!

I'm typing from my phone, so I can't type a big response, but we had a magnificent secular Christmas and even went to a Church of England service! I'll have to tell you more about it when I am on my laptop next. Right now, I am feeling very fat and merry-it must be from all the chocolate and sherry I've had today!

Mta-I'm gonna go watch the Downton Abbey Christmas special now!