In a more general sense, I find that if I ignore something and stay busy I too do better. I do fear, however, burying my emotions and not dealing with them and then later having ______ (something terrible) happen. Maybe I'd grow to a bitter old woman? Do you worry about that L? Or do you think that by staying busy and not allowing yourself to focus on things is 'mentally healthier' for you? I'm trying to figure this out for myself in something totally unrelated to anything we've talked about here. Any insight would be appreciated. When I chose to focus and suffer and cry, I tell myself I'm dealing with it now so that once it's over and behind me, it won't become some other issue I have to cope with in my life.
In regards to the shooting, I did see one psychiatrist recommend parents do cry in front of their kids because that teaches them how to cope with their feelings and not bury them. Of course, that's assuming the kids already know. Since yours don't seem to, that's a non-issue. But Syd told Conner so... I have talked to him about it. And cried very, very hard. Many times and sometimes in front of him. The last time he looked at me and said, "Mommy, is it the little kids again?" I'm still in shock and can't believe this is a conversation I've had to have with my 6-year-old. When Columbine happened I obsessed and cried then and didn't miss one news story about it for at least a week. Bobbie was in Kindergarten and I kept thinking...she's going to be in high school soon (I didn't realize how soon). But they didn't have older siblings so they didn't learn about it for years.
I'm rambling now, but my point is that even though I had my girls when I was a teenager, I thought I had most parenting things figured out. I didn't have any idea about school shootings and 14 years later I'm still at an utter loss as to what the 'right' way is to discuss them, what to say...I feel completely out of my league on this issue. Unprepared and inept and probably doing it all wrong.