Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

Yes Kate, they're very religious and pray frequently in school. And in everything they do.

And I totally agree with you Bridget. I focus on the gun control simply because that seems to be where people are putting up the biggest fight, but it's much, much more than that. I'd add armed security or police officers in every school while they have students in them to your metal detectors as well Bridget.

[Bridget]

Yup, I'm down with that. Because I don't agree with those who say that these things are rare. They are common now. And, sure, yeah, it's great to focus on the good in the world so that these sorrows don't drown us. But the good does NOT outweigh the bad when the bad is unspeakably BAD. We protect our children at all costs.

[missychrissy]

Yup, I'm down with that. Because I don't agree with those who say that these things are rare. They are common now. And, sure, yeah, it's great to focus on the good in the world so that these sorrows don't drown us. But the good does NOT outweigh the bad when the bad is unspeakably BAD. We protect our children at all costs.

Yes.

Rich is a hunter and has guns and even he's saying this is too much. He'd give them up to prevent something like this from ever happening ever again. Remembering our early-years debates about guns, this is huge. He loves hunting above anything, but he'd give it up in a heartbeat to protect children. It's hurt him like it has any of us.

I don't understand anyone thinking otherwise. Sure, I get it the criminals don't follow the laws (duh) but I don't get not having that instinctive desire to want to do something-even if it means changing a fundamental aspect of your life. I think believing otherwise is incredibly selfish, to tell you the truth. It's like saying, "My right to bear arms is more important than the lives of those children."

And again, I know it's not all about the guns. That's just one piece of it. The selfishness in society needs to go away too. And we need to have better access to mental health care as well as physical health care (there really shouldn't be a distinction, since mental health is based on a brain, which is an organ, but I digress). For the last 20+ years, mental health services has been cut. That, along with the easy access to guns is a dangerous, explosive combination and we as a society are paying dearly for it. Just to save a few bucks and cling to our guns. It's unreal.

[Bridget]

Everyone is so blinded by this eternal divide between democrats and repulicans that people aren't using common sense anymore. We need to knock this **** off and fix what's wrong. If mainstream media could just stfu for a little while and stop brainwashing everyone we might have a chance.

I should get off the computer. I've had wine and I'm feeling loud but I'm alone in my living room with no one to talk to.

[missychrissy]

I should get off the computer. I've had wine and I'm feeling loud but I'm alone in my living room with no one to talk to.

I've had wine too. You should have downloaded skype. We could have ripped together about the demise of society. Two heathens judging our world. It'd be fun!

[Bridget]

That is so what I need right now! I think we have skype but lack the camera. We used to skype with mil but the camera broke.

[missychrissy]

Maybe Santa should bring you a camera.

[Bridget]

Well if Santa is real I want a porthole to a tropical island I can beam myself to after my kids go to bed. With a baby moniter, obvi. If he can make reindeer fly, he can do this for me. I've been really good. He can check his list twice.

[missychrissy]

LMAO Bridget! You nearly made me spit wine all over my laptop.

But just in case he's listening, I want one too Santa. B & I can hang out there and we'll port right back home in the event one of our kids need us.

[Bridget]

Oh yeah, I totally meant the island was inhabited with y'all. That was my whole point! Glad you assumed that, C.
I just got this email from my mil:

Between Dec. 20 and 24, please keep the children close to you and don't drive unless you have to. It's the crest of the entire line-up of stars and brings new magnetic fields that can bring out the best or worst in people and in weather patterns. Just stick close to home with the kids and keep them safe. I worry about what is happening in this world that my grandchildren are going to have to live in. But there is always hope that good wins over evil. We only have to feel positive and send those good and loving vibes out into the universe

I mean, I'm all about the law of attraction and the more good you send out the more good that comes back but this...I dunno.

[missychrissy]

Uh....how do you even respond to that? I mean, I'm laughing but I don't have to deal with her.

[Bridget]

I am not going to respond at all. Just going to pretend like it never happened. Just like when she was here visiting and I walked in from the backyard to her all redfaced on the computer that she got reliable confirmation that Obama was not born in the usa. Lol! I had to resist the urge to shake her and say, "DONALD! IS THAT YOU?"

In her defense, she was terrified. She was basically warning me to go the bomb shelter because the usa was about to crumble. On paper, we're similar in our beliefs. Atheist. Obama supporters. She's a little cosmic-y though. Clearly. lol

[missychrissy]

It could be worse I suppose.

So this friend of my dad's that passed away was married to my father's cousin. They were friends before his cousin married her, and came from a very small town. This town, Tioga Center (not even one red flashing light in it) was also where Rich grew up. I met Rich through my mother's side of the family because he also grew up in Tioga Center. What all this means is Rich knew the eldest son, my 3rd (I think?) cousin Brucie. Brucie and I were pretty close growing up. Not only was dad good friends with his dad, but his mom watched my brother and i for a period when our mom was in the psychiatric hospital. Rich went along to the viewing and funeral, as did my mother. My mom grew up with Bruce Sr. We're all connected...small towns will do that.

Anyway, between the school shootings and Bruce's death, it's been a very emotional couple days for me. Late last night I had to call Rich back to my apt to help un-clog my toilet. I just couldn't get it and thought he had a snake. It was 11:30 and I was so tired and emotional and I just said, "Thank you Rich. I don't know what I'd do without you." I guess I shouldn't have been that sweet because he hugged me and tried to turn it into a make-out session. I kept turning my head away or burying it in his chest and he'd smell my hair and whisper, "I miss that smell so much." I was too emotionally spent to rebuff him as I should have and now I don't know what to do. I think he mis-read my signals and the last thing I want to do is hurt him all over again. When he was trying to hold and cuddle me, I felt very trapped and just wanted to break away. There's simply nothing left in that department for me. I feel terrible. I don't know if I should say anything about it at all, or wait till he tries for another make-out session.

[Bridget]

I would wait until he tries for another and break it down then. He had to have felt your vibe, even if he pretended not to.

[missychrissy]

You'd think so, but I was so emotionally spent I don't know if my negative feelings were coming through at all. I guess I'll just wait and see if he tries anything again. I know it's hard for him, but he needs to let go and move on.

[daylilies]

Chrissy and Bridget, your little exchange last night cracked me up.

Chrissy, I think you should wait until the next time and then make your intentions (or lack thereof) clear.

Josh was a sheep in the Christmas pageant this morning. It was a nice service although I couldn't stop thinking about the events in CT when the sheep were walking up-K and 1st graders. It was eerie. We sang some nice carols and it was a good way to celebrate what we have, but I kept thinking of those who were maybe supposed to bring their kids to church today or be in a Christmas play and it was just bittersweet.

[daylilies]

And honestly sometimes I do wonder if the world is going to implode or something, not because God makes it happen, but because people are such idiots.

[missychrissy]

I can't imagine things getting any worse than this.

I have spent the day with just Conner watching silly movies and watching him play games...today it was Family Guy of all things I still don't really know what to say to Conner about all this. I assured him this shooter is dead and thankfully he hasn't thought to ask if there might be more out there because I honestly don't feel like I can tell him he's safe at school. I don't feel he is, although I wouldn't come right out and say that either. The middle & high school have at least one police officer on duty during school hours here, but not in the elementary school. And Conner's school is 15 miles from the middle/high school.

I'm just sick over this, as we all are. I can't stop obsessing. I've cried so much I've given myself a headache. Probably from dehydration.

[demigraf]

I can't remember if I posted this. DH made Mira a bubblewrap "helmet". Not because she had bumped her head on anything, but because he thought she might.



DH also has this whole thing about wasting food. We've solved it by a) serving small portions and b) someone eating what the kid didn't (including cat/dogs). Nothing gets wasted around here, which makes DH happy, but there is no arguing over it either, which makes Mira happy.

I'm catching up, and I'm this far back still. But I am driving/escorting my folks from Vegas to San Francisco (flew down yesterday), so will have time to keep reading up while on the road. I LOVE this adorable picture. Would comment more about how my mom is the extreme when it comes to not wasting food, like, she'll freeze pennies' worth of cooked leftover oatmeal, but it no longer seems timely.

Reading on...

[daylilies]

Myles! Don't worry about being behind...I'd still love to hear people's opinions even if they are not timely.

Have a safe trip to SF!

[demigraf]

I'm all caught up now. Honestly, after all the discussion that happened after what I quoted above, boy, do I sound tone deaf to all the horrors that have been happening lately! I kinda knew i would, at least temporarily. I'm so sorry that you've had to attend 2 funerals, Chrissy. Your kids have seen too much sadness. I agree with Erin that it's remarkable, and if that number of suicides concentrated in one place isn't remarkable, it's even sadder to me.

What's happened in CT has me exhausted from crying and feeling a little depressed about the world, and I have been wanting to avoid where I thought people might be talking about it. My mom is sitting in the car rattling off quotes from victims' parents in the same sing-songy voice that she reads the weather report. I just want to tell her to can it. Seriously. I know she's appalled too, but she's just so nonchalant about it. I don't know if it's that she doesn't have a small child of her own or if she's just being cavalier, but it physically makes something twist up inside me. I agree largely with Bridget that it's really going to take a multi-pronged approach to effect any change in our society that would shift us away from anything like this happening again. I realize there's a high demand for guns from non-violent gun enthusiasts. I personally just wish we were more like cultures that aren't quite so enthusiastic about them, where people would balk at the idea of gun ownership the way one would at the thought of a populace allowed to "responsibly" own grenades or high explosives. I get the idea behind the 2nd amendment, I guess I just wish ours would transform into a more peaceable society where people weren't quite so eager to exercise their rights. In countries like the UK and, I think, Sweden, you aren't even allowed to own a taser, and IMO, they are still high functioning societies, not suffering from individual helplessness or oppression. And at the same time, I feel we should take steps as a society to make strides in mental health and public outreach services that are quickly labeled as "bleeding heart". That's me oversimplifying, but dammit, it's time to dialog about our values.

[missychrissy]

...That's me oversimplifying, but dammit, it's time to dialog about our values.

I don't think that's over-simplistic at all. We have to start somewhere, and it's up to each of us. For my part, I'm going to be more vocal in my opposition to semi-automatic weapons and the related ammunition that goes along with them. I'll vote that way, as well as vote for anyone that is for inclusiveness of mental health services. There's so much that needs to change, but we have to start somewhere.

I've heard the wbc is planning on protesting funerals this week. I've joined a FB group that is organizing counter-protestors to stand between them and the mourners. If I get a chance, I will do that. It's not much, but it's something.

[daylilies]

I feel like it's a vicious cycle, where we talk about other countries where people don't own guns, and then people say well yeah, those countries don't have as much crime though, and then we say "...because people don't own guns."

One of my high school friends on facebook posted a picture saying "People get killed by drunk drivers and they don't make us give up our cars, why should I give up my gun because other people kill with theirs?" There were so many things wrong with that statement, I had to say something.

[Bridget]

Ugh, Kate that makes no sense. I had someone with that Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka saying, "Tell my again how criminals follow the laws" regarding people who want gun control. I'm sorry but this is too serious for that ****.

[daylilies]

I'm sorry that wasn't quite right. It said "people drive drunk" not "drunk drivers kill people". Still.

[Bridget]

It still doesn't make sense. It's not comparable. I mean, almost any tool can be a weapon if you use it as such. But a gun is nothing but.

[missychrissy]

Just because there are other means of killing people doesn't mean we should do nothing. And I look at it like a 'toy' that the 'kids' have abused in some manner. The "children" in society have abused their right to play with guns. It's time to take them away.

[daylilies]

That does make sense Chrissy.

That was the point I made, Bridget, that a car's primary purpose is not to kill people. Nobody else responded to the post. I wondered if his friends agreed with me or just didn't want to argue.

[AmeriBrit]

I've tried to stay off FB the past few days; I don't want to get in to debates with people and I'd rather not read people's political slants on the whole school massacre. I am so thankful that guns are not so easy to get hold of over here; we do have a few students whom I am quite convinced could do some major harm if they were as easy to get here. It's pretty scary working with the public and their children and seeing the mental illness, even when you know they are getting help for it. It's very disheartening seeing a lot of the poorest kids with parents with mental health issues and dealing with their own mental health issues as well. I had to stand back and watch a boy today hacking a worksheet to a hundred pieces with a ruler because he did not want to do it; he then had to be lifted out of the room by 2 adults because he started to throw the tables around the room. Half of our staff have been trained on the correct way to handle violent children; the rest of us are receiving training in January. It's not such a fluffy job, this public school teaching!

[missychrissy]

Oh Ash. That would be so heartbreaking to witness. Those poor kids.