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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #37141
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    Cost of living is my one reservation. Wondering if it is worth having DH earning a salary and whatever I would earn adjusted for cost of living, vs. living here for less on one income only. I suppose it all depends on what salaries the both of us would be looking at. Now that I'm being paid the going rate I don't know that I would earn substantially more there, but probably worth it to have him working.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #37142
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    I'm willing to bet that you will be paid more here. Everyone does, it seems. Worthwhile looking into some sort of salary comparison tool.

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    Oooh and eventually one of these days DC is very high on our places to visit list.


    I for one care deeply about hair. Yeah it grows back but it can take a long time! I can't see without my glasses and I take them off when I get my hair done. Good thing because I couldn't see her chopping mine off until it was too late. She did two sections since it's a fairly thick hair and when I saw those long ponys sitting there, I felt kind of sick. I was ready for some to go...but had I not been donating, I would have cut maybe 4 inches or 5 tops. Not the 11 or 12 that she took off. That took me something like 4 years maybe to grow out because I did go in every other month and get the ends trimmed to keep it healthy.
    Now that my hair is sitting on my shoulders, I don't care for it as much. I think this is the shortest I have had it since I was like 18 months old. LOL I need another 3 inches but will just grow that out.

    Just got our refinance papers in the mail and OMFG....they really need to do a better job at making those things easier to understand. DH almost majored in math and we both have MS degrees. I still barely understand the numbers and he thinks he does after looking at them for like an hour.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  4. #37144
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Oh, and Chrissy, I think it's probably the most expedient solution to have people manually re-enter everyone's calendar entries for now. It'd be way more costly to get to troubleshoot it properly when you're just going to be upgrading the whole thing soon anyway.

    BTW, I got a Win8 personal laptop last month, and can I just say I am not impressed with the OS? Since I got certified on NT eons ago, everything up until now felt familiar, since it was built around the same structure. I knew where to look in the guts of the system to find things and tweak them. Now with Win8 I feel like I'm wobbling around on it like a newborn fawn. Have you had to support Win8 yet as part of your job, Chrissy? I hope you don't have to.
    Win8 is in our future. I think we have a trial license for us to poke around and learn, but no one has any time. I don't even know where it is and now Brandon is gone.

    And yeah, we're definitely rebuilding the rooms. The admin assists (well their bosslady) can just suck it. I'm not answering helpdesk calls about stuff disappearing for the next 100 years.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Speaking of Travis, he used the F word tonight! And in proper angry context! DH and I don't swear very much at all and certainly don't use that word, so I wonder where he's picked it up? I didn't say anything to him. I think I'll let it slide unless it becomes a habit.

    I'm still waiting to hear if I've got through to the interview stage of the post-graduate program...waiting, waiting, waiting!
    Good luck!!

    And I would have probably lol'd at Travis. I'm really bad about that. I don't mean I say it around the kids often, but when they were little if they came out with a naughty word it would crack me up. I'm actually surprised they didn't grow to have mouths like sailors.

    Mandy, if it's Win8 I have no idea. If it has Programs and Features, you'd go there and just remove/uninstall the program.

    Rich brought Conner down tonight and my overhead ceiling light was on, so it was very bright. He sat across from me while we were talking and he suddenly said, "Oh my god! Your eyes are black!" He was actually very concerned because I look like hell. I'm not exaggerating-this job is aging me fast. I can feel it and Rich even noticed it. :/

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #37145
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    Chrissy. I'm sorry you are under so much stress.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  6. #37146
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Chrissy. I'm sorry you are under so much stress.
    Thanks. Emotionally, I feel better than I did last year so that's progress. They just expect far too much of us at work, and then it's compounded by a sh1tty attitude from almost everyone. I've had people walk back to our area and state flatly that they didn't want to bother with the helpdesk email because they didn't know how long it would take to hear from someone. Another person came marching back and demanded to know how long she should expect to wait because she'd sent in a helpdesk email TWO hours ago! There weren't crisis situations...they were "I can't print from Adobe Reader" (that one had Adobe Pro and COULD print from that so...?) and someone else that had to walk literally 10 paces further because the closer printer wouldn't work. Stupid stuff. And they're getting bent out of shape about it.

    Did you give up on coming to NY Mandy? Whatever happened to that?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #37147
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Thanks. Emotionally, I feel better than I did last year so that's progress. They just expect far too much of us at work, and then it's compounded by a sh1tty attitude from almost everyone. I've had people walk back to our area and state flatly that they didn't want to bother with the helpdesk email because they didn't know how long it would take to hear from someone. Another person came marching back and demanded to know how long she should expect to wait because she'd sent in a helpdesk email TWO hours ago! There weren't crisis situations...they were "I can't print from Adobe Reader" (that one had Adobe Pro and COULD print from that so...?) and someone else that had to walk literally 10 paces further because the closer printer wouldn't work. Stupid stuff. And they're getting bent out of shape about it.

    Did you give up on coming to NY Mandy? Whatever happened to that?
    So frustrating.

    The NY thing went away when I got a 15k raise. The increase in salary wouldn't cover the difference in cost of living, at least not in the rural area DH needed. I could have made substantially more in the NYC metro area but that wasn't where his offer was and there is no way I was going to commute to work in an inner-city school. Add the licensing crap that NY adds just because they love bureaucracy, and the fact that I got zero response to my application because I'm not NY licensed and it wasn't worth it. Really, NY, I've lived there and you aren't all that. I'd have preferred GA with the equally higher salary and lower cost of living. I'm going to look into obtaining VA licensure tonight.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #37148
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    NY is nuts. As much as I would have relished having you close, I didn't think it would be a smart move.

    You know my brother has paid all his fines from that felony accident 5 years ago and he's been waiting over 6 months to hear if he can just get his license back, or if he has to start from the beginning and get a permit. He doesn't care either way...he just wants to know which. If they'd responded from the beginning that he'd need to start over, he'd have his license already.

    But that's NY for you. I don't know any way to hurry them about anything. And, most people pay as much, if not more, in property taxes every month on their home as the actual mortgage. There's that, too. Ugh.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #37149
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    Yeah, no thanks. Ugh.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Property taxes are worse downstate too, where you were looking.

    I could never consider buying a place in the county where Cornell is (Tompkins). They're the 4th highest taxed county in the state. The 3 that "beat" them are all down by NYC. My favorite coworker/friend Faye has a house there and her property taxes are just over 10k a year. Her house is just a simple, 4 bd, 1 1/2 bath cape cod with a doublewide in the back. The doublewide was first put there to care for her sick mother, and then her paraplegic brother. After they both passed, she decided to rent it out but she said between the mortgage and taxes, she just breaks even. They have just under 3 acres.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 12-06-2012 at 07:12 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #37151
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    Oh, Bridget - I meant to tell you my coworker and I were discussing charter schools today and I was telling her about your experience. After three incidents, she asked, "WHY did she keep her kids there?" I told her you didn't!

    Just thought you could use the affirmation.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #37152

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    Chrissy I also am sorry for all the stress they are putting you through at work. Black eyes!! Ugh....that is just horrible. I hope something else opens up for you in another department.

    Myles thanks for the insight on Notre Dame! I am going to go ahead and apply probably next week. I am working on UPenn and U of Chicago applications right now. I will have to find another recommendation provider though because one of my former professors is being flaky. She still hasn't submitted one for Emory yet, which was due on the 3rd. I am worried I won't be considered due to her flaking out like that. Luckily I have most of my old professors on FB but I had this lady for 3 classes and aced all of them and she even helped me get a 5K scholarship in 2007. Maybe something personal is going on with her. I told her that she didn't have to do it if she didn't have time as I felt I gave short notice (about 3 weeks out for the first application, the others aren't due until the 15th for UPenn and Chicago and then January for GSU and Notre Dame). I am upset that I will have to give even shorter notice for one of my other professors.

    Your big ole puppy sounds so sweet Mandy!! All worried about his bed. I hope she sleeps well tonight. And good luck on the prospect of moving to DC Metro. From what I gather from my cousin, who just recently moved back to DC, like Suja says they usually pay more in that area. She is working on a government fellowship right now and is having a good time as she just got a MPA and couldn't find a job in our hometown. She went to undergrad at Howard in DC so is familiar with the area and knew she would be able to find something there. She says the job market is one of the best in the country in DC Metro and I also was looking at moving there due to being knowledgeable in government procurement as there are a lot of jobs in my professional field out that way. But DH doesn't want to move there. I didn't know the Smithsonian was free though!!! I've never been to DC and hope to also go one day, maybe in the next 5 years I will go.

    Erin

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    Having worked with some wonderful professors, I can vouch for the fact that they are easily swamped and many remarked how difficult it was to get recommendations written (even if they do have a form one stored for generic recommendations). They simply don't have the bandwidth to do it. Tenured professors have a lot of expectations, and some don't rely heavily on the TAs to teach their courses for them. I know our English professors were expected to publish so many books within a certain time frame. The better professors are the ones that are easily overwhelmed with all the tasks they take on.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Erin, I don't know if you saw but I mentioned you in a link I shared on fb. I wanted to tag you but since it was about grad school I wasn't sure if all your family knew you were applying so didn't want to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. If you haven't seen it, it's cute.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Looks like in VA I can obtain unrestricted license to practice (equivalent to my AZ license) through verification of my current AZ license and confirmation that I have been working in the field for 3 of the last 5 years. That's all I need. No teacher's certificate is required. Take that, NY! And take that, AZ, making me pay to keep both.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Looks like in VA I can obtain unrestricted license to practice (equivalent to my AZ license) through verification of my current AZ license and confirmation that I have been working in the field for 3 of the last 5 years. That's all I need. No teacher's certificate is required. Take that, NY! And take that, AZ, making me pay to keep both.
    Heh. I was just about to post that we have reciprocity in your field. I took a quick look at salary.com for SLPs, and median salary is 76k, which I don't know how it stacks up to what you are currently making. And depending on where you and DH will be working, if you can live in Prince William County, it will be slightly less expensive.

    What does DH do anyway?

    Oh, and did you see this? http://m.monster.com/Speech-Language...s-VA-116221647
    Last edited by Suja; 12-06-2012 at 08:27 PM.

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    That's awesome Mandy. VA rules. I'd love to live there too.

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    Hey thanks for the affirmation, Mandy. I need that! I need it more that I'd like to admit sometimes. It's a lonely homeschooling world over here I did buy us a membership at a nature center in madison that offers classes for homeschool children. They are one time half day classes. The one thing we are lacking so much right now is other kids to play with. I just want to meet some other families that we can get together with once a week or so. It's really so important to me and them that they have friends to see regularly.
    I'm watching Ethos. Have you guys seen that? Decent. I like Woody H. When dbf is gone I can watch documentaries. He's normally not into them and gets bored. Next I may watch Surviving Progress but i'm afraid it will bring me down too much. Stuff like that eats away at me when I start to think about it. The state of our civilization scares the crap out of me.

    Erin, I just read through the facebook thread and checked out that Scratch site you mentioned Ky playing on. Kai will love that when he learns to read a little more. In the meantime, i may just do it with him. I've decided to relax a little on my avoidance of media. They are older now. We are going to try computer time twice a week instead of once. I've also been letting them check out magic schoolbus videos at the library to watch pretty much whenever they like. They ask all the time to watch stuff or play computer so I feel I should not be always pushing against what they want. It's not like they're laying around watching Spongebob all day.
    This is not an easy transition for me but i do feel it's best for me to mellow out on that a bit and let them have more freedom in this area.
    Last edited by Bridget; 12-06-2012 at 08:52 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Heh. I was just about to post that we have reciprocity in your field. I took a quick look at salary.com for SLPs, and median salary is 76k, which I don't know how it stacks up to what you are currently making. And depending on where you and DH will be working, if you can live in Prince William County, it will be slightly less expensive.

    What does DH do anyway?

    Oh, and did you see this? http://m.monster.com/Speech-Language...s-VA-116221647
    Thanks, Suja. I make in the middle of that salary range with just over 5 years' experience. Which might mean they would offer me less than my current salary, which would be a no go at the moment. I will take a look around.

    DH is actually unemployed at the moment other than his part time national guard work. A contact of his was awarded part of a government contract working with the military and has contacted him about some of the work. No guarantees and I also don't completely trust this guy, but the contract is real. We don't know the details of the position or salary range right now. At the moment he is looking to fill part time positions but there are full time ones upcoming. Some money may be better than none, honestly, if it leads to something better.

    Potentially I would stay here for a while and he could see if things panned out before I made a big move.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 12-06-2012 at 09:55 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Technology is good B In all seriousness, I think you're handling it very well. I know you cringe and would be perfectly happy without it in their life right now, but the truth is the majority of kids their age already are on them. Yours will be just fine because they won't be seeing a computer for the first time when they are adults. I say that jokingly, but you know there are some extreme parents that are that limiting.

    I just wanted to throw this out there...studies show that children that learn programming between 8-10 years old are actually far better programmers as adults. Even if they only take it for those few years and don't go back to it till they're in their 30's, that foundation is there and they can learn it far easier than someone that never took any programming classes till high school. It's really like learning a 2nd language and children's brains are better equipped for that sort of learning than an adult's. Not that an older teen or even middle aged adult can't learn it, but chances are good they won't learn it as well as the 8 year olds. ha ha!

    MIT has Programming with Alice that's available to download for free. It's geared for anyone wanting to learn and I've heard children actually do take to it really well. It's like a game, but it plants those seeds for programming. http://www.alice.org/

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Chrissy, that looks awesome! I might play around with that myself some time. I had a computer at 10 (in 1983!) and I definitely consider myself to be a digital native. I truly believe the brain is wired differently in kids who were raised on computers, and good or bad, that's the direction the world is going. I also "get" the concerns about too much screen time but at the elementary school years I don't think it is as much of a problem as when they are younger. And Bridget, you certainly provide a balance.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Ash, I ended up having a super-busy day what with getting the Christmas tree and then trying to put it up and decorating it and all. All of the ornaments are clustered in the middle.

    I did not end up having time to get my recipe out and copying it over, but this is kind of what is was like, although I think I pre-baked my wontons a bit. I just searched for mini tacos in wonton wrappers in Google: http://theclothspring.com/2012/10/easy-wonton-tacos/ In my search I found the cutest little mini Shepherds Pies and custards, though, and now I want to bring appetizers to a party instead of all the main dishes.

    Now I have to run to bed because I still have to brush my teeth and everything and have to get up in less than six hours. If you're not in a big rush, I can try to write it for you tomorrow.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Chrissy, that looks awesome! I might play around with that myself some time. I had a computer at 10 (in 1983!) and I definitely consider myself to be a digital native. I truly believe the brain is wired differently in kids who were raised on computers, and good or bad, that's the direction the world is going. I also "get" the concerns about too much screen time but at the elementary school years I don't think it is as much of a problem as when they are younger. And Bridget, you certainly provide a balance.
    It is fun. I wish I had time to play with it.

    I slept like crap last night. I don't get it...as exhausted as I am, I simply cannot fall asleep. Again, Rich had to come down to wake me up and get Conner up. I know I need to do something about this, but I'm worried the dr will insist on a sleep study. There's no way I am gonna be able to sleep with people (even if it's just monitors) watching me. And if I need that machine thing, forget it. It'll never happen. I want a drug that will help me fall off to sleep at a reasonable hour (9 or 10) that isn't habit forming, won't make me drive my car naked while I'm asleep, and that won't make it too difficult to wake in the morning. Is that asking for too much?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Chrissy, I had a sleep study at home and I just had to put a little probe on my fingertip. It was easy. I also thought I would not be able to sleep in a strange bed around other people.


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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Chrissy, I had a sleep study at home and I just had to put a little probe on my fingertip. It was easy. I also thought I would not be able to sleep in a strange bed around other people.
    If my dr suggests that, I'll do it. But I'll never sleep with one of those masks on. I'll suffer the way I've been suffering for the rest of my life first. I've made it this far.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Aw hell, the kid really is sick. She has vomited two more times. Friday is her favorite day - PE with her most favorite teacher, music and Spanish. She was really upset about having to stay home and miss all that.

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    Chrissy, you only would need a cpap machine is you were a snorer and suffering from apnea. Sounds more like your case is insomnia.

    I'm not great at falling asleep either. I have a hard time turning it off in my head. What they would suggest would be things like room is dark (NO TV), cool. Times of going to bed and getting up are consistent. Exercise but not too late. Maybe a warm bath. Reading before bed. Stopping caffeine early in the day.
    Does something like nyquil or unisom help you out?
    I really think it's probably work that is stressing you out and that is the big culprit.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Darnit, Suja. Hope the weekend gives her a chance to recover.
    I can fall asleep really easily and I am thankful for that. Dbf is like you, Chrissy. He really shouldn't even eat chocolate in the evening as it keeps him up. I think that is part of what keeps me semi rested even though I'm up (and have been for years) several times a night with one child or another. I can fall right back to sleep.

  29. #37169

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    Awwww, poor Mira. I hope she feels better.

    And Chrissy, my dad wears the cpap with the mask, we joke he looks like a monster with it on. He has apnea so would wake up and snored like crazy. Loud snoring is a sign of it. I am worried I may be developing it as DH said I have started snoring lately and I haven't been feeling rested, but I honestly think I am similar to you and it is stress about my job. I also haven't been taking care of myself like I should, mostly because I am so tired.

    And Bridget, Ky loves Scratch. He is making a project on it about static electricity for school right now. I think both Kai and Savana would probably love it. I don't mind kids using technology, but prefer it after age 5 and not before as I think they need to learn to walk, talk, you know, do stuff humans need to learn to do lol. Elle is not all that into technology except for TV. If she shows an interest I will let her try some things. I am getting Ky a Lego NXT Robot for Christmas. It is my substitute for a video game system as I just know too many boys hooked on video games and I so don't want him to become like that. I had promised him he could get one at 10 so I had to apologize about changing my mind and the Lego Robot was a compromise. It costs more than most gaming systems, but I feel it is more interesting and educational. Ky really likes computers and technology and electrical things. He says he wants to be an electrical or biomedical engineer biomedical after going to a STEM camp at GA Tech and learning about what they do - he wants to make a robotic eyeball so blind people can see! I think it is ambitious but he's a young kid still so I want to keep him interested in things and hope for the best as his testoterone rises as he enters adolescents. I am so hoping he will be a tech geek lol! The stories DH tells me about being a young tween and teen boy are kind of scary the things he said he did and thought about mostly because he wasn't doing anything else. So I want to put a lot of interesting stuff in the way of Ky's hormones and am stocking him up. I'm also going to look into getting him an electronic playground which is like a circuit board where he can make projects based on electricity - like create a radio or make a strobe light. I am trying to decide what kind to get and am also going to get him a soldering kit, even though I am afraid he will burn something up lol. FWIW, they also have robot kits that are relatively inexpensive that younger kids can make with the help of adults. I will have to get the site address I bookmarked at home but you can probably google robot kits for kids and see what come up. Ky has one that is a dinosaur that I bought for him a while ago and some other animals as well.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 12-07-2012 at 10:34 AM.

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    I have actually been looking at robot kits for Kai this year and most of them for 8 and up so dbf really thinks I should wait. Although, I do think if I sat and did it with him he would be fine. I'm the same as you, Erin, in that it was important to me to wait until the kids were at least 5 before starting regular technology. And they won't be playing video games until they are at least 10. I just saw something on that fb page called I effing love science that showed how a part of person's brain actually shuts down while playing killing games so that they can sort of desensitize themselves to it. I thought that was interesting.
    I hope Ky stays interested in his robotics too, Erin. I think there is a good chance that will happen since you are so proactive in following his interests and providing opportunities for him to expand his knowledge and have hands on experience with it.
    Last edited by Bridget; 12-07-2012 at 10:44 AM.

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