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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #36721
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    Myles that sounds like a fun place to work!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #36722
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    I saw something on fb today about a proposed IVF tax credit. They have an adoption tax credit, so why not an IVF tax credit? Sounds like a great idea to me. A whole bunch of people were commenting on it saying it would be a huge waste of money and people who want kids "that badly" should "just adopt" because there are so many children who need homes. Jerks. I so want to ask them if they have bio kids and if they did, why didn't they adopt instead since so many kids need homes. ugh. It's kind of like asking men about abortion, in my opinion. If you had no trouble conceiving, just shut your mouth.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #36723
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    The people that comment on those articles are just trolls looking to stir crap up. I'm constantly amazed at the level of judgement and jealousy people express online. I say jealousy because why else would they care if you or someone else got a IVF tax credit? I mean really, THAT isn't going to put us over the edge financially. Allowing the super rich and corporations tax breaks to the extent where they not only pay 0 federal taxes, but also get a refund, in BILLION DOLLAR PROFIT years is what is killing us financially.

    Why is that concept so freaking difficult to understand?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #36724
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I saw something on fb today about a proposed IVF tax credit. They have an adoption tax credit, so why not an IVF tax credit? Sounds like a great idea to me. A whole bunch of people were commenting on it saying it would be a huge waste of money and people who want kids "that badly" should "just adopt" because there are so many children who need homes. Jerks. I so want to ask them if they have bio kids and if they did, why didn't they adopt instead since so many kids need homes. ugh. It's kind of like asking men about abortion, in my opinion. If you had no trouble conceiving, just shut your mouth.

    Yeah drives me crazy as I don't think men should have so much a say in an issue regarding a woman's body and body parts they do not have.

    As for the adoption tax credit....as of right now it's set to expire and will only be available for special needs adoptions. I hope that changes. I know I can claim what we have paid in 2011 on our 2012 returns. We have paid about 1/3 of the suspected total costs so far. I am lucky in that my job also will give me some money but that is after the adoption....but will cover about another 1/3.
    I guess that the thinking is that this helps families give homes to kids who need them and helps more families be able to afford it.

    IF treatments paid out of pocket (which some states do cover) would probably fall under the medical tax credit. I think my sister will be able to do that as she pays out of pocket for pretty much everything when she does the IUI next year and she's on the lower income scale so probably would hit the what, 7.5% of income thing.

    Yeah there are a lot of kids who need homes.....if you are able to care for special needs, older kids with lots of baggage. Many countries that have a lot of kids who need homes are not open for adoptions internationally. And if you want a healthy US infant....well those are in high demand. Not like there are orphanages full just waiting for you to go and pick one out. Really I think that most people don't have a clue about adoptions or what that involves unless they have been affected by it personally. I am lucky that my family has several adoptions in it already and the rest of our family and friends are supportive.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #36725
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    Agreed Chrissy!

    And with the adoption credits....OMG the stories I have heard. People have to submit that in paper because you have to submit a ton of supporting paperwork. And than they hold it up and hold it up and most I know takes months to get it processed. Often they ask for even more paperwork. To make sure we aren't cheating......but when they looked back, found little to no fraud with the adoption credits. Now why don't that give that kind of scrutiny to those getting the major refunds and loopholes is beyond me. it's not the small number of people who adopt and took the credit that is breaking the bank.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  6. #36726

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Agreed Chrissy!

    And with the adoption credits....OMG the stories I have heard. People have to submit that in paper because you have to submit a ton of supporting paperwork. And than they hold it up and hold it up and most I know takes months to get it processed. Often they ask for even more paperwork. To make sure we aren't cheating......but when they looked back, found little to no fraud with the adoption credits. Now why don't that give that kind of scrutiny to those getting the major refunds and loopholes is beyond me. it's not the small number of people who adopt and took the credit that is breaking the bank.
    I agree with both of you.

    One of my mom's first cousins adopted 3 kids last year from foster care. She didn't even know about the tax credits until she went to file her taxes and was completely surprised lol. So I don't see how fraud with adoption credits or IF credits would be able to occur since they are so easily able to prove.

    On another note, maybe not another, since tax credits are a result of elections - I went to vote this morning and was happy that the line wasn't all that long. I meant to go early vote last week but forgot. When I told Elle I was going to take her with me to vote she said "Oh Mommy! We talked about voting in school!! Are you going to vote for Marack Abama or Mitt Rodney?" LOL, it was too cute. They gave her an "I voted" sticker that she took to school and so she was happy.

    Erin

  7. #36727

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    Is it usual for places not to check ID's when you vote? I googled and I can only find the fact that you're supposed to show ID the first time you vote...but what about subsequent elections?

  8. #36728
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    Marack Abama!!! I love it!!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #36729

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    Josh says he'd vote for Romney because he thinks other people should be given a chance. I explained to him we like Obama because he thinks people should be able to marry whoever they love and Josh said "Yeah but you guys can still stay married right?" I love his little bubble of a life LOL

  10. #36730
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    He's so sweet!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #36731
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    No we don't have to show ID for voting. Only for registering. And in WI you can register the day of voting at the polls.

    DH was bummed as we didn't get the I Voted stickers.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #36732

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    I don't know that I've ever shown an ID. And today, the woman in front of me had a mark next to her name saying that she already voted, but she told them some story (I didn't hear it) and so they crossed the mark off and let her vote today.
    AKA Lisa724

  13. #36733
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    I honestly don't remember if I've shown ID or not.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #36734

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    Seems kind of sketchy, doesn't it?

  15. #36735

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    Here and in many southern states it was a big deal that we had to prevent "voter fraud" lol. So they created a law that we have to show ID every freaking time we vote. I never had to show it except upon registration in Ohio. It is a PITA to show it every time.

    Then I have people complain to me, because they know I have some conservative views, about black people and other organizations (the NAACP Legal Defense Fund is fighting a lot of these laws) objection to the new laws and they try to use me as proof that "black people can get IDs if they want them." But I am a fiscal conservative and so then they will get an attitude problem when I tell them how much waste it is, these IDs. Here in GA the law was approved only because the state of GA said they would provide free IDs to those without a license and they would also give them a ride to the ID making location. So in my fiscal conservative mind, I see that as a waste of money. Voter fraud is statistically irrelevant and now we have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in this state to give people ID cards and on gas and state vehicles to get them to the places they need to get to in order to obtain those IDs. Just stupid and wasteful IMO and I lost a few close associates by debating about this with them lol. I try not to be controversial except with DH most of the time but I got carried away, same as I just did now because those IDs get on my freaking nerves! It also makes the voting process longer as we have to fill out a form and then show ID and then have them compare the ID to the voter registration computer and so on and so on. Very drawn out process I tell you.

    Erin

  16. #36736

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    Kate, I think the voter ID laws vary pretty widely state by state.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  17. #36737

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    Not a big deal, I guess at least they check off your name so you can't vote twice, but then what if someone claims their name was checked off in error?

  18. #36738
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    I don't even remember if I showed ID when we registered. I know we had to have a pay stub or a bill with our names and address on them (recent ones).
    Than today I went in and gave my name to the lady with the binder, she finds it and asks for my address and I give it to her. I sign the box and get a ticket that i give to the ballot people.

    When I was little, it was cool as I went with my parents into these booths that had curtains that pulled around them. There was a board inside and they would flick the switches and when done would pull a handle, like on a slot machine.
    I grew up voting with my parents...one would take me and the other my sister.
    Now I just get the ballots where you have to draw a line with a black marker.

    One of my volunteers has been working the polls for years and she doesn't think this whole vote fraud thing is really anything, has never seen it happen and believes that it is rare.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #36739

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    It probably is rare. It just makes it seem so unofficial, I guess.

  20. #36740
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Not a big deal, I guess at least they check off your name so you can't vote twice, but then what if someone claims their name was checked off in error?
    They have procedures to follow if that happens. It actually did to my mom during our recall election earlier this year. She has a commn name....first and last (why I took DH's name because Jennifer is so common and my last name was too....it's on basketballs). Anyway another woman in the district had her name and signed my mom's box. So they had to do a bunch of special stuff in the binder and called the head election place in town. My mom did get her vote in.
    In this case I think that it was an accident and not fraud.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  21. #36741

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    Voter fraud happens in less than 1% of votes in an election. Last I read was .04% of the time. Also, fraud usually happens with absentee ballots and then it is usually with the names of a dead person casting a vote and not a duplicate of a living person lol.

    Erin

  22. #36742
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    We have a law here requiring ID to vote. I don't have a problem with it. I have to show the same ID to use my credit card at a lot of stores, to ... Honestly it's right in my purse and it's not hard to show ID. It was a hugely controversial law in AZ. Honestly, though, they have a variety of things they will accept if you don't have a driver's license or state photo ID, including a utility bill or even a cell phone bill. We ask for verification of address at work and people are able to come up with something in every case I have seen. I would have a problem with the free ID thing, like you said, Erin.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  23. #36743

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    I am so glad I voted last week during early voting. I was out today and the traffic was crazy. I voted in the small village where dh works, total population 500, I didn't have to wait in line at all. It was so nice!! our ballot was 4 pages too. We had to show ID for the first time and they also needed to match my siggy to the one on my ID. ha! when I sign those cc screens I just kinda scroll it along, I could be signing my name Betty Rubble for all they know. The woman made me do it twice lol.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  24. #36744

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    There are 34,000 people in our town and there were only like 5 people in front of us when we went to vote around 8:30. I'm guessing most people went on lunch or after work.

  25. #36745

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    SCUBJIA! I'm here but tearing my hair out busy. Funeral went as well as you could expect. JoJo's birthday party the next day came off without a hitch, so that's good. I'm tired, but this weekend begins my art fair season so I am jumping right into planning for that. It's a good one because it is a studio tour, meaning that it is in my house and so all I have to do is clean the heck out of my house, set up in the living room, clean my studio, price and arrange the eggs, and make sure I have all my supplies. So really pretty easy. I have this tour for the next two weekends, then Thanksgiving, then the next weekend an outdoor art fair and then the weekend after that my last art fair of the season! Yay! Fall just flies by like a lightning flash for me from Halloween to mid-December is just gone.

    I found out this week that I am probably not going to be paid for the mobile websites I worked on in September. I sent an invoice Oct. 1 and got nothing, then sent another one on Nov. 1. During that month on facebook, my friend kept posting about staying at different spas and crazy expensive and exclusive hotels here in town, going shopping in the expensive area of town, getting pedicures, etc. Yesterday I heard from the husband of my friend (an old high school friend, more of an acquaintance who I have always liked) saying that she moved out a month ago, leaving him with their two kids. She has a boyfriend and is planning on buying him out of the business. I found out from another friend that she is having a sort of manic breakdown, spending money she doesn't have and saying that her husband was beating her and the kids (which no one really thinks is true). Her parents are paying for her to stay for one month in an extended stay hotel, but other than that she has no income. Apparently she is looking for an investor for her business and if she does find one then she wants to hire me on to do what her husband was doing. The whole thing is a disaster, and she is apparently going to be coming by my open studio with her new boyfriend sometime in the next couple of weeks. I have no idea how to deal with her or what I am going to say or anything!

    Hey Erin - I thought of you when I saw this: http://frugaltraveler.blogs.nytimes....sand/?src=dayp Was it you whose mother was looking for a Caribbean vacation? It's a crazy deal! I want to go.

    Hope your first week at your new position has been good, Myles.

    How is Kai feeling now that he has gone a few days? I saw that his stomach doesn't hurt as much. I wonder if it will have any effect on his bladder issues?

    Sorry if I am missing anyone!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  26. #36746
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    Katy-you're crazy busy! Oh goodness!

    And that situation you're in seem very bizarre. If it were me, I'd try to be friendly but would probably pop out with "Oh my!" when she introduced him. I hate that you're probably not going to get paid. Aside from the fact that I have no artistic ability whatsoever and can't match color schemes to save my life, the other reason I didn't study web design more in depth is because it is a field where it's common for someone like you to put in hours upon hours worth of work and not get paid for it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #36747
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    Oh, and Congratulations ladies!!! I think we're all pro-Obama. If not, I apologie.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #36748

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    I'm going to bed happy.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  29. #36749

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    Thanks, Katy! That would stink if you don't get paid! She sounds delusional. What does she say when you ask her for the money? Does she have an excuse?

    I'm in a somewhat similar boat of not getting paid right now, although I will happily walk away if it becomes too much of a headache. I did a favor for a woman in my mom's club who liked pics I once took of her children at an event. She asked me to do their portraits. I didn't really want to use my volunteer position to pick up paying clients, but I have this vision that I'll be able to pay for a standup paddleboard (SUP) entirely with money I make selling my things on eBay, side jobs like this, and a garage sale I'm doing w/ Santi's mommy this weekend. I don't really need the money outside of my normal income, but it's a matter of principle, since I have too much stuff and a SUP is just another expensive toy. That's why I agreed to do a 45 min session for her at 65% the cost of what the professional photographers in the club charge when they run specials. What I charged her is far below my hourly consulting rate; it's small potatoes to me, but still a significant chunk of the cost of the board I want. So on Sunday, she asks to meet at 10:30. I confirm with her that morning at 9am. She texts me at 10:20 asking if I can do 11:30. Fine, although I know her kids are going to be less pleasant at that point. So the family shows up at 11:48. Her baby is fussy and 3 year old is uncontrollable. And she keeps telling me she has this vision of pics of the kids happily hugging in the grass and I know that's the money shot in her mind. She keeps asking me to shoot close ups of the baby in dad's arms while she pleads with her older daughter to pose with baby sister for the camera. Long story short, I spent an hour trying to get shots in addition to all the waiting I did that morning, but I managed to get some portrait-worthy shots. She hasn't paid me yet (I wasn't clear with her that she should have paid me on the day of the shoot; photo sessions I've bought myself required payment up front). I've spent 3 hrs so far touching up her photos, and she keeps asking me for tweaks, with no sign of payment. I have a feeling she's going to hold out on paying me until she's wheedled me into doing 10 hrs of editing for her. My written agreement was for at least 12 "lightly retouched" portraits. She has now received over 20 heavily retouched ones. I'm going to ask her tomorrow if there's a reason she hasn't paid me yet and clarify that I'd expected payment last Sunday. I'm starting to get really annoyed with her. I'll e-mail her offering to let her pay by Paypal (subtle hint) and I'll cover the fees, and she'll write back with more things for me to do and no sign of making payment. Honestly, I don't think she realizes how much I've let her take advantage of me. Soon, I will let her know.

    Anyway, I actually came here to see if anyone was celebrating the election results. I'm happy. :} I think people are sick of seeing all my Likes of friends' statuses on FB. A lot of partying going on 'round there.
    Last edited by demigraf; 11-06-2012 at 11:52 PM.

  30. #36750
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    The twins did pretend voting in school today. They both voted for Obama, DD because "everyone else was voting for him" and DS because "I like his name and because we have a video called Baraka and because he's already president so he knows how to do the job." I asked him if he liked how the country was running, if he was doing a good job, and DS said, "Oh yes, it's very beautiful."

    Toddler S, just proving my point and showing how difficult he is lately, said he would vote for Mitt Romney. Just because.


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