Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

It sounds like fun!!! Some day we'll do the same together!

I'm sure you can compose a short, sweet, to-the-point note. I think giving them an opportunity to reconsider their position is the 'right' thing to do. Who knows, maybe it would open the door of communication and you may be able to give him another chance....? I guess that would depend on how much of your trust he's broken, and whether or not he can regain that trust. If you send the letter, the ball would be in his court. If you are even interested in entertaining that idea, that is.

Just my 2 cents. You do what you feel is best. Of course you have my support either way.

[Bridget]

A letter sounds more appealing to my pansy arse. lol

[missychrissy]

Actually, it's not even about being a pansy. I think a letter is more formal and they'd be more likely to take it seriously. A phone call can easily be dismissed, a message lost, or not taken seriously at all. With a letter, there's a greater chance the message would be relayed to whomever made the decision to not test Kai. It's a real medically neglectful thing to do and I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and believe they didn't intend to be. Someone should be talked to or reconsider their policies in these scenarios. I do believe a note is more likely to accomplish those things.

[Gwenn]

Okay, I know I'm pg. I just heard DH's car and started crying.

[daylilies]

Gwenn, I've been meaning to ask you if you told DH yet!

[missychrissy]

Awwww!!!! Get used to that. It only gets worse. I cried to Johnny Cash's Family Circle song. In front of people. lol

I'm nearly giddy this morning. I've been friends with a few of 'my therapists' on FB for a while now and one wrote to me and asked if I'd like to join their book club. They meet 1 Sunday a month and it's in the afternoon so there won't be any issues with the kids...Conner is generally back at his dad's by that time on Sundays. Anyway, I'm excited that I'm going to get to see some of my favorite therapists again. I cannot wait!! Oh, yeah. And I'm gonna get to read more.

What's really nice is they don't all read the same book-just whatever book they want and discuss it. Sometimes they watch a movie and they've even done sleepovers. I feel like a little kid that just made a new group of friends...even though they've always been my friends, I haven't seen them since I left mental health/alcohol & drug in December 2004. It's been a long time.

[Ky'sMom]

That sounds fun Chrissy!! I hope you enjoy the book club, sounds more like a fun ladies club IMO lol.

And Mandy, I agree to get used to the tears! I am not very emotional usually but when PG I used to cry over radio commercials lol. I mention radio because TV commercials would totally have me bawling, depending on the commercial. I couldn't watch those ASPCA commercials at all and even baby commercials with happy babies would make me tear up as I'd think of how fast the babies would grow up and not be babies. LOL, I was an emotional mess when PG. I remember really crying about a Johnson and Johnson commercial that they run on PBS between shows and it says something like "I always wanted to fall in love with a guy who was tall, dark, and handsome. Who would have thought the love of my life would be short and bald." And they show the baby getting a bath in the sink. That commercial actually came on when Ky was a baby, and I'd think of him being my short, bald, love. It came on when I was PG with Elle and I would cry thinking of how tall and not fat, and how much hair he has now lol. I was a trip. But it was nice to cry, I just wish DH wouldn't have thought me a foreign object lol.

One of my best friends was really weepy last year while PG because of her son's having a fever. And she was talking to me through tears and I had to give her a hug and she cried some more because she thought she was making me sick by me hugging her lol. We laugh about that now, but I so understood how she was feeling because I was so emotional while PG - sadness and anger too BTW so warn your DH!!

Erin

[MashedUp]

I'm a little late to the party, but YAY!!!! So freaking excited for you!!!

[daylilies]

That sounds so fun, Chrissy!

[Cosmosmom]

Bridget....at the very least you should get copies of all his medical records for yourself and for the next doctor.
What I did with Cosmo....back when her vets did NOTHING for her eyes and blew me off (and than claimed I never made an appt for that according to their records....which is true I didn't ever make a specific appt just for that but I asked at every appt including annual exams).....ok back on track. Anyway what I did was walk in there and said to the front desk, I want copies of her medical records and I want them now and I will wait for them. And I was very pissed off looking. They asked if there was a problem and I said yes, the vets here missed a serious eye condition for years and the new vet took a look and sent us to Minneapolis to a vetinary ophthalmologist and she was diagnosised with scleritis.
They gave me the papers quickly and no more questions....guess they didn't want this going out to the other people waiting. One of the vets (and the kicker is we saw a couple of them and NONE of them did anything about it) called me at home to apologize and said that they were familiar with the eye condition.....but than tried to blame me saying that they were sorry to have missed it but according to their records we never mentioned it. OMG, both DH and I have mentioned it many many many times and were just told it was just not enough sleep or allergies.
I am still so pissed about it. I am angry at myself because I knew something was not right and I didn't get her treatment sooner. And at the vet for trying to blame me and trying to say I didn't mention it. I tell everyone I know in town about it.
The new vet (which is much closer to where we live AND cheaper!) took a look and said, nope the eyes don't look right. Looks like glaucoma and did the pressure test. When that came back fine, she said this is beyond me and I recommend seeing the vet ophthalmologist in the cities. He was fantastic and worth the drive. A steroid drop in each eye has cleared up so much of the redness and the swelling is down and she isn't squinting at me all the time....poor baby what I read said that untreated can feel like a migraine.

God I hate it when doctors or in my case vets just don't take concerns seriously. I have zero tolerance for that.

[demigraf]

Hooray for tears, Mandy! I remember crying when singing the Star Spangled Banner to one of my dogs on a walk. We got to the high part and my voice crackled. It was hilarious.

That's cool about book club, C. What book will you talk about first? Anyone read the new adult JK Rowling novel yet? It got mixed reviews, but it's in my virtual stack.

Today is my first day at the new gig. They're doing a new hire orientation. I' impressed that they even do a a new hire orientation. Mostly it takes me 3 weeks to figure out where to park my car. I got here early and went to one if their cafes for coffee. The silly thing that made me happy this morning was thisoh shoot... can't upload from my phone. will figure out another way. Not trying to be suspenseful here. It's
really not that big a deal. )

Bridget, I like the letter idea and, if you really liked the doctor, you can hope he learns from his mistakes when you tell him about them.

[missychrissy]

I dunno which book I'll talk about first. Not the one I'm reading. It's stupid.

And you're definitely leaving us on a cliff hanger here Myles. Whether you intended to or not!

Yay for the new gig!! I hope you have a fabulous day!

[demigraf]

I'm the only one giggling audibly at the work safety presentation ... where it shows improper use of a forklift (to lift another operating forklift). I'm quite certain I'm the only one who gave the appropriate response.

[missychrissy]

I'm the only one giggling audibly at the work safety presentation ... where it shows improper use of a forklift (to lift another operating forklift). I'm quite certain I'm the only one who gave the appropriate response.

Is operating a fork lift something that may actually become an 'other duty as assigned' for you?

[dana_renay]

I hadn't been on at all this weekend, and came on here to see Mandy finally got her BFP! Congratulations doesn't seem like enough. I am so thrilled for you.

Now back to catch up.

[Suja]

Is operating a fork lift something that may actually become an 'other duty as assigned' for you?

One never knows when Myles is going to be taking one of those babies out for a joyride.

[missychrissy]

I could see it. Along with her screaming, "LOOK OUT!!" Balls to the wall, floored and humming through the warehouse.

[dana_renay]

Myles - Congrats on the new job. dI am 100% certain that the only appropriate response, when confronted with a forklift attempting to lift another operating forklift, is to laugh.

Bridget - I would make a phone call or go in person to speak to him. I get what's being said about a letter being more formal and so on but firstly, a letter can be so easily misconstruted or misinterpreted and secondly if you actually speak to him, you get the pleasure of some type of response. Sending a letter is just going to kick off this whole chain of Was it received? Did he read it? Will he respond? Should you call and see if he got it? I know confrontation is difficult, but in the long run, you may save yourself needless stress by just talking to the guy.

Mandy - I'll tell you, I had gone through the "am I or aren't I" cycle quite a few times...had a few evaps and that kind of thing. But when it was real...I knew. I mean, I almost knew before I even peed on the test. And after that, I worried a little, but deep, deep down, I really just knew that this was it. I hope you have the same feeling.

Jennifer - I do think your time is coming soon. I always did think you and Mandy would go together. But honestly, I always thought you would end up getting pregnant. Possibly right after or while in the process of adopting, lol. Don't shoot me, but that's just been how I pictured it in my head for a long time.

[AmeriBrit]

I can imagine Myles driving the fork lift through the warehouse with her super hero panties on the outside of her jeans (as we all are aware of how she wears them!) It's just what she does.

[missychrissy]

I wish I could like that post Ash!

[Cosmosmom]

LOL

Dana I won't shoot you. It's been a thought we have had as well since we don't totally know what the problem is. Obviously my weight doesn't help but I was about 50 lbs light when we first started trying. And right now I'm not really trying. Not preventing. If it happened now, I would stop the adoption process (happened to 3 couples in my group). If it happened after we were matched, I would probably just keep quiet. I could hid a pg really far along just how my body is shaped.
And my poor DH would probably have a heart attack.
If we adopt and than end up with a bio baby....he's done for sure and will go get fixed.
Dh's mom saw a psychic and supposedly said babies for us and she didn't tell her that we were adopting but psychic mentioned that. DH rolls his eyes at that. I'm sort of a believer....mostly because I went to one with my mom once and my mom gave away nothing and psychic said some stuff that was not general and totally spot on. And my mom isn't on FB or anything so wasn't stuff that came up via google.
I would like a summer baby. Well really any month but I do stress a lot about weather and getting a due date in the winter but would be scary for me. I would worry about traveling and if it's going to snow and all that. So I prefer a birth between April and November. it would make the travel easier for me since we would be needing to travel at least a few times in state.

[dana_renay]

I also happen to think that once you *do* have a baby/babies, your DH is going to find himself so ridiculously in love with those little critters that he won't even know what to do with himself. Even though he says so now, I wouldn't completely count on him actually ending up being "one and done"

[Gwenn]

Gwenn, I've been meaning to ask you if you told DH yet!

Yes, I texted him the picture right after I tested. Sad not to see his response in person ... but he is very happy. He wouldn't be going through all this if he didn't want it just (well, almost) as much.

And Mandy, I agree to get used to the tears! I am not very emotional usually but when PG I used to cry over radio commercials lol. I mention radio because TV commercials would totally have me bawling, depending on the commercial. I couldn't watch those ASPCA commercials at all and even baby commercials with happy babies would make me tear up as I'd think of how fast the babies would grow up and not be babies. LOL, I was an emotional mess when PG. I remember really crying about a Johnson and Johnson commercial that they run on PBS between shows and it says something like "I always wanted to fall in love with a guy who was tall, dark, and handsome. Who would have thought the love of my life would be short and bald." And they show the baby getting a bath in the sink. That commercial actually came on when Ky was a baby, and I'd think of him being my short, bald, love. It came on when I was PG with Elle and I would cry thinking of how tall and not fat, and how much hair he has now lol. I was a trip. But it was nice to cry, I just wish DH wouldn't have thought me a foreign object lol.

One of my best friends was really weepy last year while PG because of her son's having a fever. And she was talking to me through tears and I had to give her a hug and she cried some more because she thought she was making me sick by me hugging her lol. We laugh about that now, but I so understood how she was feeling because I was so emotional while PG - sadness and anger too BTW so warn your DH!!

Erin

my emotions about DH have been going back and forth for at least a week now. From adore to furious and back. Poor guy, it's going to be a long road for him! I told my partner at work today since she knows all about my treatments. After I was telling her about my mood swings she said she wouldn't want to be poor DH when I am in labor!

I can imagine Myles driving the fork lift through the warehouse with her super hero panties on the outside of her jeans (as we all are aware of how she wears them!) It's just what she does.

Yes...it's what she does. And fabulous fork-lift wear it is, too.

LOL

Dana I won't shoot you. It's been a thought we have had as well since we don't totally know what the problem is. Obviously my weight doesn't help but I was about 50 lbs light when we first started trying. And right now I'm not really trying. Not preventing. If it happened now, I would stop the adoption process (happened to 3 couples in my group). If it happened after we were matched, I would probably just keep quiet. I could hid a pg really far along just how my body is shaped.
And my poor DH would probably have a heart attack.
If we adopt and than end up with a bio baby....he's done for sure and will go get fixed.
Dh's mom saw a psychic and supposedly said babies for us and she didn't tell her that we were adopting but psychic mentioned that. DH rolls his eyes at that. I'm sort of a believer....mostly because I went to one with my mom once and my mom gave away nothing and psychic said some stuff that was not general and totally spot on. And my mom isn't on FB or anything so wasn't stuff that came up via google.
I would like a summer baby. Well really any month but I do stress a lot about weather and getting a due date in the winter but would be scary for me. I would worry about traveling and if it's going to snow and all that. So I prefer a birth between April and November. it would make the travel easier for me since we would be needing to travel at least a few times in state.

Jennifer, did you ever try Femara? Just wondering if your issue was lining like mine was. My doc also called me "unexplained.". I didn't think of it before.

For me a summer baby is perfect for my work schedule (well, probably April would be better so I could take leave then stay out for the summer). It's so hot here, though, I know I will be miserable!!! Not looking forward to carrying all that around in 115 degrees.

[demigraf]

You guys are making me so sad that I don't actually get to drive a forklift (driving another forklift or otherwise) around the new job site. The orientation was super-generic, which means it was geared towards everyone from janitorial staff to construction crew to scientists to doctors to system consultants like me.

What I was gonna say earlier is that the first thing I saw this morning that made me happy was this in the cafeteria:



Here's to being employed by foodie locavores!

Then I took a tour of the campus on a break. It's right on the bay, so it's surrounded by a shoreline park with miles of trail, so I decided to bring a bike to work and leave it here. Even though the company provides bikes for its workers to ride around while on site, I like my bike. And since I am so going to get a stand-up paddleboard before the end of the year, this is the perfect place to paddle out regularly. I'd heard a lot about their famed employee gym, so that was my next stop. I signed up right away, which leads me to the next thing I got excited about - their gym class schedule:



Not that I plan to take Muay Thai boxing anytime soon, but it's nice to have the option. All told, it's a job, and I never know how long I'll be needed, but in the meantime, I'll enjoy creating a new routine around my day-to-day here. It looks like I can work from home at least some of the time, so I'm happy so far - at least as happy as can be while at work on a first day.

I just saw this guy use the espresso machine to make chai tea in a way I'd never seen done before. He poured milk into the steel foaming pitcher, added 2 tea bags, some cinnamon and nutmeg and steamed it all together for about 30 seconds. I would have asked him to show me how he did it, but I think I was making him uncomfortable by smiling too enthusiastically at him. When I complimented him, he smiled nervously, and said "OK." LOL.

OK, I'm taking off. Hope you are all well. Mandy, sorry that K couldn't hear your news in person, but it's fun to imagine it. xoxo

[demigraf]

Those are supposed to be clickable thumbnails above, but don't seem to work on my laptop right now. I'll check them again when I get home. Not that I expect you guys to be too excited about them or anything.

[Gwenn]

I couldn't click them, and "pinching" on my iPad just made them blurry with no more detail. I think I got the gist, though - I would love to see that sign at my work!

[missychrissy]

I love you Myles. Your stories crack me up! And I'm very excited for you and your new job.

[Cosmosmom]

I also happen to think that once you *do* have a baby/babies, your DH is going to find himself so ridiculously in love with those little critters that he won't even know what to do with himself. Even though he says so now, I wouldn't completely count on him actually ending up being "one and done"

LOL I'm not going to hold my breath on that one. Maybe if we were younger but we eventually want to do more traveling and that would be easier with one. Plus we found out something interesting with having two dogs.....we aren't sure about that. We both feel really guilty spending time with just one dog and not giving the other the same amount of attention at the same time. It's more work having two than I thought it would be.
Definitely have the attitude now that we will adopt once and if we get pg so be it, it was meant to be. But not doing anything extra to have a second and certainly cannot afford to adopt more than once.
Dh is an only child....well technically he has a young half brother and half sister but was not raised with them and we don't really know them. Only child is what he knows. I only have one sister and thankfully we get along great but siblings do not always.
I had always planned on two but I was supposed to be done by now. Was going to have one and have the second 3-4 years later. My plans have needed some revision along the way! LOL

I have to admit too that my DH doesn't really want a baby. He's not much of a baby person and doesn't get the appeal. he's much more excited about the idea of a 5 yr old or 8 yr old. I want the baby. DH is a lot like my dad....my dad doesn't like babies either. he likes toddlers and up....once the talking starts.

[missychrissy]

There are lots of people like that. And many that are perfectly content with just one and no desire for more. I have friends that are child-free by choice and love it. Even womenthat went right through the whole clock ticking phase and never had any desire for a child. We're all unique and have our own ideas about what works best for us. I think most people can make any situation they end up in work, even if it's not their ideal. imo, just because I was so deadset on having kids, being child-free because of inability to conceive would be the hardest one to adjust to in such a way that I could ultimately call myself a happy person. I know people do it, but I admire their strength and marval at it.

I never envisioned myself having 4 kids, but of course I cannot imagine my life without any of them now. I don't want more, but if circumstances change I'm sure I could still be a happy person...although, oiy! if I were to start dating, I do plan on being very clear that i do not ever intend to have any children...so my future guy (if he exists) better already have their own OR be one that doesn't want kids of his own.

[Cosmosmom]

Jennifer, did you ever try Femara? Just wondering if your issue was lining like mine was. My doc also called me "unexplained.". I didn't think of it before.

For me a summer baby is perfect for my work schedule (well, probably April would be better so I could take leave then stay out for the summer). It's so hot here, though, I know I will be miserable!!! Not looking forward to carrying all that around in 115 degrees.

No I only did 3 rounds of clomid and than I was done with that. But I had a perfect lining. I did ultrasounds while on it and while not on it and it just gave 2-3 follicles (and a LOT of pain). Actually I haven't been able to really find any info about this but I think that my follicles are too big. I was getting them from 29-31 before the trigger. And I have a short LP. I know even on clomid they were surprised that I was still getting to maybe 12 days tops. but of course the progesterone tested just fine. And I don't have PCOS....did all the tests for that and saw an endocrinologist.
The whole process just stressed me out too much. I knew I wouldn't go far for IF treatments....figured I would try clomid and get tests done in case it was something simple but I just feel like something more complex is going on and maybe I have bad eggs or something.
Course if my insurance covered it.....I probably would have tried a bit more!

Just stay inside when it's 115! At least you don't have to worry about a blizzard stopping you from getting to the hospital or slipping on ice or something!