Originally Posted by
Bridget
Haha, google is such a double edged sword.
I think I am a pretty sexual and being and I do like sex a lot. I think the issue for me right now is that certain things are attractive to me and certain things are ugly to me and they have nothing to do with looks. I know that I don't have to love someone to have sex, and dbf and I normally continue to have it even when are relationship is rocky but lately he's been pissing me off so much that I can't believe the audacity of him to just think that he is entitled to it without even having to try.
I hope Savana had a good birthday. I try to keep things low key and we don't go crazy with spending, just try to get a few special things. I always get panicky that I'm not doing enough and they won't remember their birthdays as being special.
Super cute story last night we went to eat Sushi (Savana's fave) and the restaurant had this huge wall mural of a mer-man in the women's bathroom.
Backstory is that we've been listening to pirate stories that use "idjit" or "idiot" A LOT. I tell Savana and Kai that I trust they are old enough to understand that even when we hear these words in a story, we do not use them in our daily life. Well, Savana asked me to come with her to the bathroom as she had gone alone the first time since I could see the bathroom from our table and we were the only ones there at that time. Then she showed me the painting as I had not see it and said, "Mom. I have to tell you something and it's bad." I was like all ready for something earth shattering and then she said, "That mer-man really creeps me out. When I was in here alone I felt like he was staring at me so I wanted to say something brave to him and I couldn't think of anything. All that kept coming to my brain was 'idjit'. So I looked at him and called him an idjit over and over until I was done going potty. I'm so sorry I used the word you told me not to."
OMG could she be any sweeter? I had to force myself not to laugh because she is so sensitive to that. I told her that I think she did that because she understood what I meant when I said I trusted her not to use that word in daily life. Being alone in the bathroom and using the word toward a creepy painting (which it was) because it makes her feel better is totally ok with me. I told her no one can control the thoughts in her head but her, nor would I ever want to and she should try not to feel bad about things she thinks because that is just the way human's sort through things. She was so relieved! My little rule follower!
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Her sweetness really touched my heart this morning and I have tears pricking my eyes.
I sorta used the ex-boss about a month ago. There's still some lingering emotional connection there as well, but it was more a case of it having been a while and it seemed like a fun thing to do that day. He said something about me using him and I actually got the impression he was slightly hurt by that. Not that it prevented him from participating. 
I'm trying to refrain from it altogether though because I still think I'd date him if he'd get some things straightened out in his personal life. He won't be motivated to do so if I'm available. If he doesn't get motivated, that's fine. Someone else will eventually come along. I'm ok with my life and how it is at the moment.
I feel for you girls that have to go through that.
For reference, she works at Petsmart, so I'm sure that's what triggered it. 
