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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #36511

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    I'm trying to think of what POF is...LOL
    Yeah the thing with online is that they can hide whatever they want about themselves for a pretty long time. Well I gotta go to bed.

  2. #36512
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    Oh, it's just Plenty of Fish. One of a million dating sites out there.

    Have a good night. Thanks for listening to my rants on demisexuality. It really is kinda a big deal for me...I'm never going to wonder why porn doesn't do anything for me or why I'm not interested in 'hooking up' like many people seem to think I should be. It's a relief of sorts.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #36513

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    So I met up with my son's nina. She was very supportive and had a feeling he was. It felt good to get it out and I even cried a little. If we hadn't been at Starbucks I probably would have been bawling. I realized I didn't actually say to my son that I love him no matter what and I support him. He actually said to me that he knew I loved him no matter what and supported him. Kind of reassuring himself. But before I could feel guilty she stopped me and said then go home and do it.

    I do thank you all for being supportive. It's really nice.

    Oh and this area does move kind of fast. But I'll try to pop in every now and again.
    Anna Mommy to 4 boys!! 16 yrs., 14 yrs., 7 yrs., and baby.
    Mean people produce little mean people!!

  4. #36514
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    (Hugs), Anna. It is a big thing that is happening with your family. Just take your time to process it all. You'll be fine in the end, I'm sure.

    L, that is a beautiful photo of you and C!

    Katy, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle and how your stepmother has been. There are no words for how some people are.

    We went to see a comedian last night; he's probably not known in the US, but he's called Michael McIntyre. He was hilarious. I laughed til my stomach hurt and I had tears streaming down my face. We had a great time. It was nice to be out and laughing. We went out with my SIL, her husband and one of his brothers and his GF. His other brother and his GF were supposed to go as well, but both the brothers got in to an argument earlier in the week, so the older brother did not show up. Everyone was miffed about that. The tickets were expensive and my SIL had bought the oldest brother his tickets and he hadn't yet paid her for them, so that was a waste of money! That's family for ya, though. Someone is always going to be arguing or upset over something. Well, it seems like that in most big families I know.

    Any how. The clocks went back an hour last night here. Today we have a Halloween party to go to. There's been an "arctic blast" here over the weekend. It's 33 degrees outside right now. I have grown to dislike English winters, but I'm going to try to stay cheery this year. I'll be breaking out the mulled wine before long to get in to the Christmas spirit! That's usually what gets me through these dark nights! It now gets dark here around 4pm!!!

  5. #36515

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    Katy, i'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. I have some peope in my life whom I feel lead "tortured lives" and I only hope for them that they will find peace someday. As for your stepmom, I am at a loss for words. What could be her possible motives for that behavior? She just does not sound like a good person.
    Chrissy, I am so glad that finding you are not alone in your feelings and needs finds you some comfort. It's always nice to know their are people out there that really get it.
    Lydia, where did you get a dress like that? So beautiful!

    Oh Erin, where are you? Dbf has been offered a job in Atlanta. I can't tell if he is seriously considering it or not but I will keep you posted. We'd likely rent a house and keep ours here for now too just in case things did not work out.

  6. #36516
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartmyboyz View Post
    So I met up with my son's nina. She was very supportive and had a feeling he was. It felt good to get it out and I even cried a little. If we hadn't been at Starbucks I probably would have been bawling. I realized I didn't actually say to my son that I love him no matter what and I support him. He actually said to me that he knew I loved him no matter what and supported him. Kind of reassuring himself. But before I could feel guilty she stopped me and said then go home and do it.

    I do thank you all for being supportive. It's really nice.

    Oh and this area does move kind of fast. But I'll try to pop in every now and again.
    I'm glad you had someone to talk to. It helps a lot. I know you will get through this with your son just fine. Once the initial shock wears off, it's really a non-issue for you personally. You will get to a point where you don't even think about it any more. You always worry about your kids but you're going to no matter what their sexual orientation is. I know no cure for that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #36517

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    Popping in... Katy... huge hugs!!! That was a sad end to life filled with pain. I hope he found some comfort during his time as a Moonie. I knew a couple in college, and at least they looked after their own. I totally get why you'd feel relieved for him. I think about people who don't know much else but suffering, and I always hope they are able to find little moments of happiness - or what seems like happiness relative to the rest of their pain - here and there. Your former step mom sounds like she was a stepmonster. I'm sorry this forced you to relive the day of your dad's death all over again. You're right. She'll always be a selfish jerk.

    Bridget, sorry about Kai's allergy results. Have you heard of the book The China Study? It makes a huge case against casein as the cause of all kinds of public health evils and probably has some good dietary pointers for someone in Kai's shoes. What about gluten? Is he in the clear to begin eating it again?

    More later. My gran's 95th bday today.

  8. #36518

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    Ash, I'm glad you had a good time at the comedian!

    To get back to Myles' question about intro/extroverts needs, since you said Bodh is mainly extrovert, here are some highlights of what they need:
    Time with people
    Feedback (positive reinforcement)
    People to help them think (thinking by talking, having someone to bounce ideas off of or talk through problems)

    Where on the other hand introverts don't need as much outside encouragement or approval. This is also where I feel I have an extrovert trait. I really need to be told my efforts are appreciated.

    Introverts are tired after being around a lot of people but extroverts feed off it. And introverts are likely to think something through on their own before even mentioning it to someone else.

  9. #36519

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    Happy birthday to your gran! Awesome

  10. #36520
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    What do you ladies know about manufacturer's warranties on vehicles? I've never owned a newer one, so I don't know if the seller or dealership is supposed to do something to transfer that or not. My '07 Suzuki XL7 was supposed to have a 7-year, 100,000 mile transferable drivetrain warranty on it...and it looks like I have a problem with my cam shaft or timing chain(s). The only information I can garner from the Googles is the seller can transfer warranty with little effort. That's not helpful. I have no clue if that warranty will still cover my car because I'm the 2nd owner or not. It IS less than 100,000 miles. And it's only 5 years old. If I have a serious issue like that, I cannot afford to fix it and am essentially screwed. I'm hoping I can take it to a Suzuki dealership and if that is indeed the problem they'll just fix it for me.

    My brother is already on the horn talking to his buddies to see what this might entail for him to fix it if necessary, but we've known since I bought this bugger that if I had a major problem it might be difficult for him to fix inexpensively since so much it computerized and ties in with various sensors all over the place. He thinks one of his buddies already has a reader that will both read and reset mine after it's fixed, so I may be freaking out about nothing. But still...I was doing ok stress-wise and now I'm thinking worst case scenario and getting myself all worked up. Of course all the Suzuki dealerships are closed since it's Sunday so I can't just call one and ask and I want to know right now! lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #36521
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    Chrissy, when ours are under warranty, we just bring them in and they fix it. I am thinking that the dealer could probably look up the vin number and get the info there?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #36522
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    Did you buy them used? Were you given any warranty information when you bought them? Because I didn't get any warranty information...I was told (verbally) it just had the standard NY warranty, which is useless and won't cover this.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #36523

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    Now I want to read that book, Kate. I feel Savana is most definitely an introvert. We went to a halloween street festival yesterday and as excited as she was to get there, once we started walking along the sidewalk where store owners were super friendly handing out little freebies and candy, she buried her head in my side. She wouldn't talk to anyone or accept any treats. Soon she was sobbing and telling me she was afraid and wanted to go home. I told dbf to take the boys ahead and I pulled Savana to a side street. I told her that we weren't leaving because Kai and Sawyer were enjoying themselves but that I would hold her hand, try to avoid crowded areas, and that she didn't have to speak to anyone. Then dbf hollered from across the street that there was a man with a tarantula. Well that perked her interest. She talked to him about his tarantula for about 20 minutes and then was like a totally different person. I was happy for her that she was able to overcome her anxiety and enjoy herself. Dbf of course said that maybe she should be in school so she can learn to get over it. But I don't believe that's the answer at all.

    Myles, I'm quite sure gluten is still a no. It wouldn't have come up on the test since we cut it out several months ago. She said we'd need to reintroduce it for it to show a positive result. I left it up to Kai and he opted no. His symptoms from eating gluten are pretty immediate and obvious so we aren't going to worry about a test for that until he decides he wants to do it. I think at this point he knows it makes him feel like crap so he's not going to eat it.

  14. #36524

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    I think you are right Bridget. I mean introversion isn't something you get over. I can totally relate to her being intimidated by a crowd of people but able to connect with someone one on one. I think that's one of the trademark traits of an introvert. It's not that we're antisocial, it's just that we get along better in small groups or one on one with someone who has something in common.

  15. #36525

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    I'm the same. People that knew me in my 20's would never call me an introvert but I drank heavily and had to have a few drinks in my before I became "social".
    I actually found it quite sweet how she was able to talk to the guy with the tarantula. He was clearly marching to the beat of his own drummer so maybe she felt a kindrid spirit.
    The thing that sucked the most is that I could see it in the eyes of the people offering her things that they thought she was a rude a child. At one point these women were offering balloons and the first time they offered her one she just hid her face. Kai took one. Then she said she wanted one so we went back and tried again but she chickened out again and I said, Ok thank you to the women and the one said to Savana, "Hopefully we don't run out before you decide to get one" and it wasn't in the friendliest of tones. Grown ups should be more understanding.
    We also saw the teacher that the kids had at the charter school and that was when Savana was in the midst of her anxiety so she didn't say hello. I mouthed to her teacher that we would find her later and she was sweet and gave me a thumbs up. Sure enough, once Savana was feeling better she said she hoped we saw her again so she could say hi so I scoped her out and we got to go say hello.

  16. #36526
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    I wouldn't have been able to resist a jab at dbf about him getting a normal 9-5 job so he could 'get over it' or something like that. I thought he was on board with the whole homeschooling thing? It didn't take him long to make a nasty comment about it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #36527

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    Yeah, he can't help but be the voice of dissent in every conversation. It wouldn't bother me if he knew what he was talking about. For certain things I will take his opinion but some things it's just so obvious that I am the one who has put more thought and research into it and he's just throwing out random counterpoints that don't even require a lot of thought. Just recently I let him know that I was going to purchase a new carseat for Sawyer since he is still in his infant one but just recently I noticed that he is getting too tall. Anyway, he said I should wait a few days and let him "do some research" which I know he would only be checking prices. He has no idea how much Sawyer weighs, how tall he is, what the difference between any of the seats are, whether or not they can rear face, be converted into boosters, etc. So I just said no thank you that I would purchase it and that it would be expensive but we wouldn't have to buy another one likely for the duration of the time that he needs to be in a carseat. So he says, "Yeah, I've heard that one before." Ummm...yeah, you did. When I bought the other ones and they are still in them!! lol. ""Ohhh, I guess you are right" he says.
    Thankyouverymuch

  18. #36528
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    ... ""Ohhh, I guess you are right" he says.
    Thankyouverymuch

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #36529
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    I've just finished writing my first draft of a personal statement that will be going along with my application to enter a teaching program for next year; would one of you ladies scan over it for me and tell me if it is any good? I'm all good with the grammar bit, but I sometimes am too mechanical and my tone is not human enough. Would anyone want to volunteer to read it? It's only about 600 words long (one page in Microsoft Word). If you wouldn't mind, pop me your e-mail address on PM and I'll send it through...if no one's interested, that's OK...I have a few people I can ask!

  20. #36530

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post

    Oh Erin, where are you? Dbf has been offered a job in Atlanta. I can't tell if he is seriously considering it or not but I will keep you posted. We'd likely rent a house and keep ours here for now too just in case things did not work out.
    I am here!! Sorry, I don't really have much time to be online on weekends. We were pretty busy this weekend.

    Exciting at the prospect of you moving here!! A new person to visit would be great! I saw this earlier and got all giddy lol. Keep me posted on the prospect. I don't know if you all would like it that much down here, it is okay but just different from "up north" as the southerners call everything north of KY lol. I am still not used to it.

    So sorry to hear about your uncle Katy and the way you were made aware. Ugh....at dimwitted semi-family members. I also hope JoJo isn't too disappointed over not having the party as scheduled.

    L I LOVE that pic!! It is just beautiful. I also think C looks a whole lot like you! Great pic.

    Chrissy, I am similar to your demisexuality, if that is a word lol, the post box is telling me it is misspelled so maybe it's not. But I would rather have an emotional attachment for sex and I have never gotten into porn. DH gets mad because I will commentate like a sports journalist about the goings on in porno flicks and provide background information that makes the flick not as sexy or arousing and more amusing than anything else. Also, I just find them VERY artificial and kind of silly. But I have had sex before just because I hadn't had any in a while and I did enjoy it and if DH and I ever break up I have already decided that I will not want to be bothered with another relationship for a while and would not decline a FWB situation with the right kind of guy.

    And Bridget, that sucks about all of Kai's allergies. I truly hope he will outgrow them at least. But at least you have more info to help him medically, and kids adjust pretty well IME, and Kai seems like he really wants to feel his best and grow the best he can. He has such a good attitude, but of course most kids like cheese and I'm sure that would be difficult to give up.

    We had a long soccer day on Saturday and I had a horrible headache for most of the day. DH also wanted to go to a pumpkin patch because he wanted to make some jack o lanterns so we went on a ride, with him driving, I usually drive. And he got lost, which is why I usually drive, and took a long time and didn't think about how there are a ton of football games on Saturday where we can get stuck in traffic. We live about a mile from Georgia Tech and about 2 miles from the AUC (Morehouse, Spelman, and Clark Atlanta University). GT, Morehouse, and Clark all had football games on Saturday, it was Morehouse's homecoming so traffic was pretty horrible with that and GT who always have a ton of traffic since their stadium fits about 30K people. Morehouse only fits about 10K but a lot of people just camp out for homecoming at the AUC schools so it causes a lot of havoc in regards to traffic. Then once we got past all the traffic and on the freeway to the country, DH passed the exit and then when he got on the freeway to go back to the exit he missed, he went the wrong way on the freeway, and so when we went to turn around again, I saw a little veggie stand that had pumpkins so I said we could just go buy pumpkins there, which we did. It was a nice little store and I think I'll go back again, cute little place with fruits and veggies and homemade jams/jellies/preserves along with a lot of plants for landscaping. We got 5 pumpkins but the kids were disappointed since they didn't get to go to the patch and do a hayride and the corn maze and all that jazz. On Sunday we carved the pumpkins and everyone was jealous because I got done first. I carved a witch that looks like this:Pumpkin_20witch_small.jpg

    DH carved a pumpkin to look like Jack Nicholson from The Shining and Ky and Elle (me as Elle) did some basic jack o lantern faces, but not the traditional triangle face. All of them came out pretty good.

    Erin

  21. #36531
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    Hi, everyone. I'm here. So much sadness, Katy. I'm so sorry about your Uncle and everything he went through, and the whole situation.

    Anna, welcome. I know you,love your son and just want him to have an easy path. It will take time.

    L, that dress and pic are simply gorgeous.

    Erin, you always make me laugh! Is that picture the pumpkin you carved? I am so impressed. I could never do that.

    Bridget...oh, Bridget. When will your dbf learn? I agree with Chrissy - it didn't take him long at all.

    Ash, so cold! The weather is just changing here so I need to put a sweater on in the early morning but still warm in the late morning. I don't know how you manage the dark at 4:00 pm.

    You are welcome to email me your statement if you like and I will try to give good feedback.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #36532

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    Hope all our New Englanders are doing okay with this storm. Sending positive vibes your way and check in and let us know how you are doing.

    We had high winds associated with the storm that caused a lot of havoc here as well. Transformers were blowing up and trees went down so we have tens of thousands out of power. Also yesterday afternoon, a 15 month old at a daycare was out playing, it was windy but only partly cloudy skies as we haven't gotten any rain, the high winds caused a branch to collaspe on top of the baby, such a horrible situation. That is the most tragic thing I have heard about so far here.

    Luckily my own house and family haven't been affected. A lot of my co-workers are though as Atlanta is pretty woodsy and trees have been falling left and right so many of them are without power and heat. It actually has been pretty chilly here since Saturday, it went from 80 degrees on Thursday last week to 40 on Saturday and has remained in the 40s consistently. Even though I don't think that is very cold, many here aren't used to dealing with 40 degree weather, especially not without heat so it has been a major inconvenience for a lot of people.

    Erin

  23. #36533
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    It was a non-event for me, other than my county deciding yesterday that they were gonna cancel all buses for today....and then there was a state of emergency for my county. Luckily, my downstairs neighbor also works at Cornell and has an 'essential employee' card that allows her to drive during a state of emergency, so I hitched a ride with her. It's only slightly rainy and windy here. And quite warm (53).

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #36534
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    I couldn't believe that it was even affecting parts of WI! Not my part but my hometown as they were very worried about 20-30 ft waves off Lake MI.

    Chrissy, I think for you they were worried that the storm would maybe hook around and swing back your way. I am glad that it's looking like it's not going to do that!

    Mother Nature wise, I'm lucky to live in a pretty decent area. We do not get earthquakes....though maybe if the St. Louis one goes, we could maybe feel some of that. We do not get hurricanes. We do get tornados but really pretty much most states get those. Blizzards and cold....but even a bad snowstorm is usually only 1-2 days to dig out. Even freezing rain isn't that common....we get it but it's rarely like you would see in the middle of the country.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #36535
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    It's supposed to get windy again this afternoon (probably the tail end of the storm) and then rain every day all week long, so we're not totally out of the woods as far as flooding goes...but I'm not worried about it. Last year we'd had Irene, which didn't hurt us, but the ground was still saturated and the river and creeks were still up when Tropical Storm Lee dumped 8-10" on us. That's what caused all that flooding.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #36536

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    Just popping in again to wish safety for all those in Sandy's path.

    Erin, your DH's Jack Nicholson pumpkin sounds awesome. Did you actually carve the one pictured? It's cool!!

  27. #36537

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    Mandy, I also want you to know I'm thinking of you, and have been watching your threads in the STC forum, hopeful for good news. Huge loving hugs and positive vibes coming your way from Cali.

  28. #36538
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Mandy, I also want you to know I'm thinking of you, and have been watching your threads in the STC forum, hopeful for good news. Huge loving hugs and positive vibes coming your way from Cali.
    Me, too, Mandy! I've been hoping to hear good news from you soon! Fingers crossed!

  29. #36539
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    Too soon so far...I won't test before the end of the week at the earliest. However, last night we went to dinner and DH had a pickle on his plate and it looked so good! I was laughing because even if I am pg, it's way too soon for pickle cravings.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  30. #36540
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Me, too, Mandy! I've been hoping to hear good news from you soon! Fingers crossed!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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