Sorry for the long post:
My uncle died last night. He has always been lost, did a lot of drugs in his teens and then when he was 19 he joined the Moonies. He spent the next 20 years in the cult and when he came out it was almost like he was impaired: he simply never grew up. Since he left the Moonies in 1986, he just drifted. He drove a taxi here in town for a while, but was fired for being high on the job. He sold carnations on the side of the road. Any gig he could get where it didn't matter if he was high. He told me once that he rolls his own cigarettes that have about 25% pot in them and that amount keeps him high enough to feel good but not enough to keep him from functioning. He lived in the garage apartment of my grandmother until she died and since then he has lived in a variety of places, including a storage shed on some land his father owned (no running water or electricity). He lived with us very briefly right after he got out of the Moonies. After a month, he declared undying love for my step-sister, saying that because they weren't blood-related it was okay. It's like his brain wasn't connected to reality at all. So he's just been creepy sad Uncle Steve since then, floating around with no ambition or direction or reason. Just nothing at all. He had a good heart I think but was just too damaged.
He had a friend here in town who told him that he could crash at his place whenever he needed to and that he would leave the third-floor window open for him to climb up into. Late last evening he was found on the sidewalk in front of this house with multiple head wounds. He later died at the hospital. The guy who lives in the house told the detective that he thinks Steve was just climbing up to get in the window to sleep there last night. There were no witnesses to what happened. My brother thinks that he was actually beat up because he doesn't think that you could get those kinds of injuries just from a fall. I don't know what's going to happen with that, but he is going to call the detective on Monday. And the autopsy should at least reveal all the injuries and make it more clear what might have happened.
I was almost relieved in a way to hear of his death, simply because he has always been so unhappy, so unable to live a straight life, a rebellious teenager who never outgrew the rebellion - it just doesn't work as well for a 60 year old man. I feel sad for my aunt, who has now lost both her brothers in freak accidents. I know that she must also feel a little relieved because she and her husband have been basically supporting him for about 10 years now. They gave him the money to get his Microsoft certification and he spent it on drugs.
I am completely freaking out though about this: he didn't have anything to indicate next of kin and somehow the police tracked down the number for my stepmother who had changed her last name from my dad's last name when she married again a year after dad died so I don't know how it happened that she was the first one they called. So she knew yesterday evening that MY uncle died but I have yet to hear one word from her. I would probably be mystified and hurt about it anyway, but get this: she did the same.exact.thing when my dad died. My dad crashed his plane at 11:00 a.m. I was calling him all day because we were renting out his photo studio to another photographer and I was trying to find out something for them. I tried all day long but he wasn't answering his phone. Finally after the other photographer left the studio, I tried my dad's house thinking that surely he was home by 7:30 p.m. When I called, my stepsister answered the phone and when I asked for Dad, she just said "Ummm..." and then my stepmother came on the line and told me there had been an accident and that dad was dead. So here's the thing: she has known since probably NOON that my dad is dead. I called the house at 7:30 p.m. That's 7.5 hours that she knew. She had time enough to call her own kids to get them over there to her house to comfort her. Yet I had to call the house and ask for my dad before she thought to tell me he was dead. I wonder when or even IF she would have ever told me! And of course there was no appropriate time to ask her what the delay was about, why she didn't tell me or my brother, or anything. Because she was the grieving widow and I was all in pieces myself. I haven't ever talked to her about it, but after this I am really tempted to send her an email asking her for an explanation for that behavior as well as this most current shocking omission.
Anyway, this is a super-long post and I'm sorry for that, but I am feeling like it's Groundhog Day for sociopathic behavior.
Also, I have to cancel and try to reschedule Jo Jo's birthday party which was scheduled for Saturday at 3. So I have to drive four hours on Saturday to attend the funeral and then turn around after the reception and drive back another four hours home. I think I am going to try to have the party the next day Sunday afternoon- my in-laws are going to be in town and this is the last weekend before Christmas that I have open. Oh, I am just getting tired thinking about the next week.
Last edited by girlwonder; 10-27-2012 at 08:36 PM.
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov