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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #36001

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    One nice thing about British politics is their campaign period is weeks! Like it's done in 7 weeks or something. I am assuming it's still the same way.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  2. #36002
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    Just caught up with browsing the forum. Erin, I do love you.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #36003
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    I wasn't competitive and I'm still not. I'm only competitive with myself. Maybe that's why I did well in gymnastics. Sure, only one girl could win the blue ribbon, but it was only me trying to do better than I did the last time so I could move up to the next level. I'm like that intellectually as well and I do think I work better solo than in a group. I will let others lead and if they're domineering or argumentative, I just let them have at it and don't speak up. I guess that also depends on what it is--school work I was absolute NOT interested in debating anyone so I let my group do wtf ever they wanted. I refused to argue my point and I still wouldn't. imo, it's simply not worth it.

    However, when I worked in mental health and got the clueless micro-manager boss (I knew the state mental health laws better than he did) I absolutely would speak up and debate with him. Usually I had a group behind me though.

    In our 'team meetings' I often defer to what everyone else wants to do. Even though ultimately everything is up to the bosslady, she does ask for ideas about future plans (we want to get away from our current f'd up backup system). I'll let Faye, Ted, and Brandon decide/argue that. They have more experience and in any event, I'm not as emotionally attached to our backup system.

    I'm starting to team up with Faye about the junky ultraportables that we're supposed to be offering to our major gift officers. I beat my head against the wall all day trying to make it behave right, and we finally convinced the boss to send one of the 'heavy' (not even 6 lbs I don't think!) E6320s until we can get this ultraportable figured out and behaving right. By late morning I was calling the machine an a$$hole.

    Anyway, my point is I don't like being on a team but in certain circumstances I can join forces when I need to. I prefer working alone though...one on one with my user is fine. But I don't want another technician there with me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #36004
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    OMG, don't talk to me about teams. Day from hell and primarily because we had 10 people involved in this "evaluation" this morning. They all decided to take over and I couldn't get anything done. Absolute disaster.

    ETA: normally I'm really good in a team, at least at work.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #36005
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    It sounds like a nightmare to me Mandy. I'd hate to have to work in a team on a regular basis. I mean, we are on a certain level as we all have the same goal, but we each have our own individual responsibilities...which I love.

    Forget about team sports. I was never interested and wouldn't play any now if I were paid to. Nothing attractive about it to me at all.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #36006
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    Normally it's the preschool teacher and I, with input from the nurse. Sometimes the OT and PT as well. Of course, the parent and the child.

    Today, we had: me, teacher, parent, kid, kid's teacher from EI, the OT, the hearing impaired teacher, the vision impaired teacher, the audiologist, and the nurse. And the HI teacher decided to bring TWO other HI teachers to observe. By observe, apparently she meant interview the parent tangential questions they came up with on the fly and derail the parent into a totally unnecessary direction, so I could barely get a word in edgewise. While the VI teacher asked me to go copy documents for her out of the file. Apparently she mistook me for the secretary. I was supposed to be the case manager for this child, and never even got the opportunity to direct the discussion because none of them would shut up, even when I cut in. Then G had to tell them to be quiet because they were having a side conversation in addition. Oh, and I am the ONLY one who actually tried to get the kid to do anything - the rest of them spent the time complaining about the fact that they had no prior medical reports so they didn't have to do their own evaluations. I was ready to scream by noon today.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #36007

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    Mandy, that sounds horrible.

    I did not know any of this stuff about the British government. Something got me thinking a while back about whether it would ever come to the point where we would have another "revolution" and then thinking about GB and wondering how they transformed from the true king-rules type monarchy that existed during the American revolution to the current system where parliament runs the country and the monarchy is more symbolic (this may not even be true, but it's how I perceive it from my very narrow american-news-watching p.o.v.). Maybe I just did not pay enough attention in school during the part where they discussed that! I feel that I am strange for thinking about and wondering about these things.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  8. #36008
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    If you were I the same classes I was, they really didn't discuss that. I like history though, so I have read up on some of that and it really is interesting. A lot of it happened during the 19th century, especially during the reign of Queen Victoria, I think.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  9. #36009
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    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    ...wondering how they transformed from the true king-rules type monarchy that existed during the American revolution to the current system where parliament runs the country and the monarchy is more symbolic (this may not even be true, but it's how I perceive it from my very narrow american-news-watching p.o.v.). Maybe I just did not pay enough attention in school during the part where they discussed that! I feel that I am strange for thinking about and wondering about these things.
    This is an excellent point...and honestly nothing I even thought about until you brought it up. How did that happen? And am I the only one that has wondered if we'd be more European today (i.e. extended maternity leave, medical care from birth to grave) if we never had the revolution? I mean, I am glad we're our own nation but there's a part of me that has wondered what if...?

    Mandy, I don't know how you do it. I know I've said that before, but what you described doesn't sound like a proper evaluation could possibly be done in those circumstances. What nerve the two that were invited to sit in and 'observe' had to totally disrupt the flow.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #36010
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    Oh, and I also didn't know England didn't have a constitution either. Interesting. The way Americans carry on about ours, you'd think it wouldn't be possible to have a nation without one.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #36011

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    The word team actually makes me anxious. Because of my medical issues I was/am really bad at coordination and any kind of physical activity, really, but I wasn't lacking enough to really be excused for gym. I think I was excused from certain strenuous things like the mile run, but everything else, I had to suffer through.

  12. #36012
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Oh, and I also didn't know England didn't have a constitution either. Interesting. The way Americans carry on about ours, you'd think it wouldn't be possible to have a nation without one.
    Of course you could have a nation. Just not our nation!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #36013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Of course you could have a nation. Just not our nation!
    I'm tempted to say, "That might not be such a bad thing" but I might get deported.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #36014

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    I assumed GB had one, too, because I knew they were a "constitutional monarchy", even though I obviously didn't know what that meant. I'm actually pretty embarrassed at my lack of knowledge about the basics of foreign governments because I think we Americans kind of assume that the rest of the world is aware of and cares about all the little details of the US's gov't doings, but clearly, we aren't really interested in others'. Ever wonder if, to the rest of the world, we're like that super-insecure girl who always thinks everyone is staring at her?!
    And Chrissy, yes I do sometimes wonder what if the revolution never happened. I think it would make for an interesting speculative/alternate reality fiction novel, at the very least.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  15. #36015

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    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    I assumed GB had one, too, because I knew they were a "constitutional monarchy", even though I obviously didn't know what that meant. I'm actually pretty embarrassed at my lack of knowledge about the basics of foreign governments because I think we Americans kind of assume that the rest of the world is aware of and cares about all the little details of the US's gov't doings, but clearly, we aren't really interested in others'. Ever wonder if, to the rest of the world, we're like that super-insecure girl who always thinks everyone is staring at her?!
    And Chrissy, yes I do sometimes wonder what if the revolution never happened. I think it would make for an interesting speculative/alternate reality fiction novel, at the very least.
    Lol! I love that analogy.

    You all are making me feel like an ignorant fool! I just stayed clueless for so long. I really only cared about things that directly impacted my life. I used to tell people, in my early 20's, that I "chose ignorance" because I just didn't want to deal with all the bad stuff. I never watched the news or read the paper. Now that I have children it all just matters so much more to me.

  16. #36016
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    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    I assumed GB had one, too, because I knew they were a "constitutional monarchy", even though I obviously didn't know what that meant. I'm actually pretty embarrassed at my lack of knowledge about the basics of foreign governments because I think we Americans kind of assume that the rest of the world is aware of and cares about all the little details of the US's gov't doings, but clearly, we aren't really interested in others'. Ever wonder if, to the rest of the world, we're like that super-insecure girl who always thinks everyone is staring at her?!
    And Chrissy, yes I do sometimes wonder what if the revolution never happened. I think it would make for an interesting speculative/alternate reality fiction novel, at the very least.
    oooo...if only I were clever and had imagination! That really would be a great book/movie combo.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Lol! I love that analogy.

    You all are making me feel like an ignorant fool! I just stayed clueless for so long. I really only cared about things that directly impacted my life. I used to tell people, in my early 20's, that I "chose ignorance" because I just didn't want to deal with all the bad stuff. I never watched the news or read the paper. Now that I have children it all just matters so much more to me.
    I chose ignorance as well...mostly because I did not believe that voting made a difference. Don't ask me where I got that idea from. But then I worked for the county and learned first hand how votes could directly impact the poorest in the worst ways...and best, if voted in.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #36017

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    We did not learn about English history too much in high school. Due to me being an English major in college and having to take 1 lower and 2 upper level British Literature classes, we had to learn quite a bit about English history as the history of the period in the Norton anthologies that we used supplied us with a pretty good synopsis of the history of the British Empire from the times of Old English through the modern period and post-colonialism.

    So I know a bit about the magna carta, a document our constitution is loosely based upon and the 2 civil wars in England as well as the Great Revolution, which relegated the British monarchy to a more symbolic role but they do still have a place in the role of governing I believe, but nothing like prior to the wars. But I don't know all that much about it. We mostly loosely discussed these goings on in relation to literary texts, and literature from the Romantic and Victorian periods, especially in regards to Darwin's Origins of Species and the evolution debate that is still going on today. Lots of Victorian literature focuses on the dilemna faced by lay persons who were trying to reconcile biblical history with Darwin's scientific theory. And Romanticism really isn't literally about "romance" as one thinks about it in relationships, but more about the love of enjoying life and especially the freedom and innocence of childhood. I liked both those periods and especially colonial and post-colonial studies moreso than the war based stuff, which took place I believe in the late 17th century so before our country gained independence Parliament was basically running the empire back then too.

    I'm sure Ash knows more than me though and it has been a long time since I read those passages even though I still have the books (they were REALLY expensive so I will never get rid of them) and I'm sure something I said wasn't right about it!

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 10-11-2012 at 08:42 PM.

  18. #36018

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    I feel like I need to take basic US and world history again. It wasn't much fun in high school but I think I'd have more of a grasp on it now.

  19. #36019
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    Ironically, the most I know about history I learned while reading historical fiction books. Some are better than others, but the ones that really got into the nitty gritty of the period resonated with me and I read them over and over again. I'd be reading some smut book set during a certain period and find myself looking up the 'facts' the author used in the story. Sometimes it was off, and sometimes it was spot on. In either case, I learned the history by looking it up in addition to the story I was reading. I loved doing that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #36020

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    If we were still ruled by England, we would say things like 'maths'. Do you know my BIL and my MIL's snooty friend wanted to start an argument with me about how wrong Americans are for using the word 'math'. I can still hear the friend saying well the word is mathematicS. I was like dude, either way you spell it, I can't do it! who gives a rip. I got up from the table to nurse a then 7 month old G. I think they thought I was mad or something, because later BIL apologized, ha I really didn't care. I didn't even know England called it 'maths' until that day. Or that Brits say "zed", first time I heard that I was completely clueless.

    Anyone ever read the book 'lies my teacher told me" it debunks a large chunk of the historical lies that the US history books have taught us all over the years. I saw my local library has it, I am going to check it out. I am actually looking forward for G to start school so I can read along with him and educate myself on things I didn't care about then. Now how do I make G care "now".
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  21. #36021
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    I've heard of that book but haven't read it. I'm intrigued.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I think that every country thinks that they are IMPORTANT, but the US just turns it up a notch. I know that my family in India is always surprised by the lack of coverage of the world in the news here (for instance), and specifically that whatever big important thing happened there is given no coverage here.

    We didn't grow up doing a lot of British history either, despite colonialism that only ended fairly recently.

  23. #36023
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    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    I assumed GB had one, too, because I knew they were a "constitutional monarchy", even though I obviously didn't know what that meant. I'm actually pretty embarrassed at my lack of knowledge about the basics of foreign governments because I think we Americans kind of assume that the rest of the world is aware of and cares about all the little details of the US's gov't doings, but clearly, we aren't really interested in others'. Ever wonder if, to the rest of the world, we're like that super-insecure girl who always thinks everyone is staring at her?!
    And Chrissy, yes I do sometimes wonder what if the revolution never happened. I think it would make for an interesting speculative/alternate reality fiction novel, at the very least.
    It's been done. Not very well, though. Could stand to be done better.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #36024

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    Just this week I decided that I needed to have a better grasp of American history and the best way I could think of was to read biographies of all the American presidents. Just checked out "His Excellency George Washington" on Tuesday. Going to start it this weekend I hope. I figure that's the best way I can make a story out of history, instead of the dates and battles taught in high school. And I think I need to do it in order so I can keep track of who did what when. I'm really spotty on history. I'm embarrassed to say I find it pretty boring. I hope the bio's help.

    Mandy - I don't know how you didn't just stand up and quit or at least take the kid outside to play while the grown-ups had their useless grown-up pissing contest. ugh.

    Just watched the debate (as much as I could between Jo Jo not going to sleep!). Ryan looks uncannily like Eddie Munster. They were playing to their own audiences and nothing new. I thought the questions toward the end were insipid and ridiculous, but then I am a secular gal and think that religion shouldn't have anything to do with the way someone governs.

    Dana - yay for you! You will do great! Maybe like Suja said, just tell him that you require his support and he should supply it whether he actually feels it or not.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


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    If the kiddo hadn't been blind, hearing impaired, and unable to walk or crawl there is no doubt I would have just taken him elsewhere and done my own thing. Unfortunately we really did need to either ask the parent questions or ask her to try to get him to do things. It was just a mess.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #36026

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    Katy, that is a great idea about biographies. I hope the ones you picked up were well written. I am making Ky read a lot of biographies. He has read one about George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin - who is one of my favorite founding fathers because he was very funny IMO. I read his autobiography as a part of American Literature and he was just cracking me up. Like with Neil de Grasse Tyson's autobiography I told you ladies about, I feel like Ben is my friend after that book. He spoke about deciding to be vegetarian in one section and being vegetarian until he went on a voyage to Europe and then decided he would be a pescatarian and while in Europe decided that it was unhealthy to be a vegetarian lol. The way he described it was so witty. I just loved him. He also spoke about the regret of not vaccinating one of his sons for smallpox who subsequently died of the disease. I never knew until reading that and another texts in World Literature that was about a British lady (her diary) living in Istanbul and experiencing life there as a citizen by being covered in the hijab, that vaccination was such an old thing in the history of the world. Her voyages took place I believe around the same time as Ben was alive and she also got innoculated against small pox back then.

    I want to find some books about John Adams, who is also one of my favorite founding fathers because of letters I read that he and his wife wrote to each other before the signing of the Declaration of Independence. She was trying to implore to him to include women in the Declaration and constitution, as he and Thomas Jefferson basically wrote the constitution and their ongoing discussion about it and her trying to get other members of the congress to sway their opinion on both slavery and women back in the 1700s.

    Ky has also read biographies of Einstein and George Washington Carver for scientific reasons as well as Neil de Grasse Tyson. He also read Booker T Washington's autobiography and a biography of Frederick Douglas and one about Cesar Chavez. He told me he wants one about Lincoln and I am thinking of getting him that one that has great reviews, I think just titled "Lincoln" but it is REALLY long and I think he would be frightened by it. I may buy it for myself though and I was super excited to see the new movie about Lincoln to counter attack that Lincoln vampire killer movie, which I thought was disrespectful.

    Watched the VP debates and I must say that Biden trampled over Ryan tonight IMO. Almost everything Ryan said, Biden put a beat down on him lol. Basically Romney/Ryan will have an anti-abortion administration if elected and seek to make abortion illegal, they are not committed to withdrawing from Afghanistan by 2014, they do not know what loopholes they plan to close to support their 20% tax cut for all Americans including people making in excess of $1 million dollars. Ryan didn't like the stimulus but sent a letter to the committee Biden was on who doled out the money and asked the committee for money for job creation, even though Ryan said the stimulus didn't create jobs lol. Biden laughed a lot during the whole thing. I laughed too because some of the stuff was pretty ridiculous. I especially thought it funny that Ryan felt that Romney would be able to "reach across the aisle" to Dems because he'd done it in MA and felt that it was Obama's fault this hasn't been done over the course of the last almost 4 years. Biden reminded him that he was one of the Dems who worked with Reagan and that Dems are willing to work with others whereas Republicans are not, hence their 7% approval rating lol. It was pretty funny. I also loved the moderator. She really kept them in line and tried to make them answer the questions she was asking.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 10-11-2012 at 10:32 PM. Reason: mixed up my theirs/theres

  27. #36027

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    SCUBJIA!

    Gwenn, when you say that story's been done before, were you referring to "Pastwatch" by Orson Scott Card? It's actually not an alternate reality of the revolution not happening, per se, but about a group of time travelers sent back to avert it. Of that weirdo author's books, I'd say it's one of his better ones. Not Ender's Game-level good, but I enjoyed it. Some of his other books were absolutely dreadful.

    I'm still on the Cape. We've had rain every other day, but today was beautiful. I've been working this whole time, but getting out of the place we're staying as much as I can.

    I really want to read Erin's comments in the political thread, but I'm not sure I'm up for reading something someone else might have written that will irritate me. I spent dinner tonight next to a group of loud, 60-something couples at the next table in a restaurant who were going on and on about how our president was a Muslim and referring to the "intolerant liberals". I don't label myself as one, though I'm sure I lean more left than conservative. But even though I call myself a moderate, I was so tempted to walk over and point out that not all liberals were intolerant because I tolerated their mean and stupid drivel all dinner long. Anyway, I've been within earshot of a lot of downright offensive things people are saying about the election these days, so I'm taking a pass at heated discussions where they might cause my blood to boil. I have enough going on, thank you very much.

    However, if anyone would like to cut and paste some of the highlights of Erin's comments in this thread, so I reap all the benefits and none of the pain, I'm sure that would make my day. (Just kidding. I'll get over to that thread once I gather the strength.)

    Speaking of a lot going on, it was confirmed this week that my contract is up at the end of the month. It's actually made this time with my family more meaningful in a way. It's odd, I know, but whenever I'm somewhere that's naturally beautiful, the beauty is always amplified if I'm a little bit sad. Anyway, I finally shed a few tears over it tonight with DH. For the most part, I have it all in perspective. I've chosen to be a job-shopper for a career, I started contacting recruiters and I have 2 good leads already. It's just that when I first got wind of the possibility of losing this contract, I was fighting the urge to cry by telling myself, "You're just scared." which is perfectly normal for someone who is the primary breadwinner in the family. Tonight, I guess I finally acknowledged that in addition to being scared, I'm also disappointed and it hurts. A part of me was looking forward to being hired and knowing I'd have a job that would work with having another baby without the financial stress to go along with it. I know I want to stay home with the next kid, the way I stayed home with Bodhi for 2 years. It's hard for me to imagine alternatives, although of course I know there are others out there.

    Anyway, the people I currently work for swear up and down they'll bring me back either on another contract as early as May 1 when I'm eligible again, or as a full-timer in January whenever the budgets unfreeze. Obviously I'm not counting on that. (Little good it did me to have hope last time), but there's a glimmer in the distant future. In the meantime, a masochistic part of me enjoys the "recruit crap shoot" as I call it because - minus the nagging money worries - I enjoy the job-shopping process. I like the interviews, the tricky questions, the possibilities. But ack... ask me if I still feel that way if I'm still out of work on New Year's. I tried to confide in DH about my disappointment, and I'm sorry I did. He kept trying to talk about the company I work for like they were screwing me over. I don't believe that at all. I feel they really went to bat for me and, in fact, since I'm a consultant, they have no obligation to give me any advance notice of my termination. And besides that, they're getting royally screwed by this 18 month policy as well, since I have 3 big projects in-flight with them at the moment. So if they wanted to make my life hard, they made their own lives hard along with it. Anyway, I think DH might have been trying to be supportive in his own way, but I just don't want to feel bitter about the people I've been working for. I feel pretty crappy about the situation as it is without that added bit of negativity.

    Oh, I wish I'd caught the debates. (I'm also sorry I missed the Stewart/O'Reilly "Rumble in the Air Conditioned Auditorium".) I confess, Erin, I thought the Lincoln-Vampire-Hunter book/movie sounded clever and interesting, although I haven't seen it yet. I'd heard good things about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by the same author.

    I'm reading "The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" by Junot Diaz right now. It's fun and thought-provoking and chock-full of pop-culture references.

  28. #36028
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    Myles, I was thinking of The Two Georges by Harry Turtledove And Richard Dreyfuss.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #36029

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    I forgot to mention that Bodhi is a "comparer" of himself to other kids too. He gets mad at other kids for beating him in footraces and such. I agree that it's important to teach them to enjoy themselves just by participating.

    Lately he's been really vocal about his preference for me, and DH is taking it very personally. He told DH today that Santi & I were his best friends, and DH wasn't. Overall, B has been pretty difficult lately. He seems to get so easily frustrated these days. He gets upset if he draws a stripe that turns out too fat. If we tell him it's time to eat lunch while he's mid-play, he throws a tantrum. If there's the tiniest bit of tomato on his plate, tantrum. If I'm driving and don't look at him when he tells me to, he tells me off. He interrupts us all the time, and then gets super angry if we interrupt him. If he wants us to repeat "Hoo-wah" after him, and we say "Hoooooooo-wah", he'll throw a crying fit. I never believed he was going to become this intense and this irrational. He says some pretty awesomely irrational and imaginative things too, but I do hope his crazy little inner totalitarian dictator goes away for good very soon.

  30. #36030

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Myles, I was thinking of The Two Georges by Harry Turtledove And Richard Dreyfuss.
    Ah, I'm sorry you say it was bad. It sounds like a good premise for a book.

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