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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #35761
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Bridget, is taking Kai to a university hospital out of the question? I feel strongly that you're likely to get to the bottom of this if you took him some place like that, where all the specialists, knowledge, equipment is concentrated in one spot.
    This is a good point. Didn't Jennifer say you are close to Madison? Don't know how close, but the UW Madison is a highly regarded research university and there ought to be excellent facilities there.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #35762

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    Suja, you are right. My dad said the same thing. I will head in that direction if I don't get what I need from the dr's that fall under our insurance. At this point paying out of pocket would be really difficult for us so I'd like to see it covered but of course we will do what we have to do and I know my dad will help us out with things like that in a heartbeat.
    Dbf's new job will give us insurance (the kids at least, not sure about me since we aren't married) but I haven't seen the paperwork yet so I'm not sure of the plan.

  3. #35763
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    Is there any possibility he's somehow getting glutton loaded foods at school? Snacks from a friend, perhaps?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #35764

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    I don't think so. He is very careful. My dad brought brats over the other night and I couldn't find any information on whether or not they were gluten free and Kai said he wasn't going to eat it if he didn't know for sure. He knows it makes him feel like crap. I wonder if there is anything else like cleaners or something that could make a difference.

  5. #35765
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    I didn't really think so either...but it was worth asking. Ugh. If only it were that simple, right?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #35766
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Maybe schedule an appointment with both, and see who you can get in with first? I'm inclined to say urologist first if I had to pick one, though.

    That is exactly what I would do. Some of them might take a while to get in....and honestly I would probably just take him down the UW system and look into peds specialists there.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  7. #35767
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    Well, it's official. We are bringing kitty home tomorrow. She is supposed to be extremely shy and skittish and I hope she and puppy can be friends. As far as puppy is concerned, I have always had cats and will continue to - so he's better off learning about them young. I hope kitty can adjust to the change, though.

    I had a nice day with my mom. I'm on fall break, which is a new thing this year. So I had a nice lunch with Mom, then we went to the pet store and I bought a ton of stuff for kitty - new carrier, litter box, food bowls, and bed! And Mom looked longingly at the shelter kittens they had for adoption. I suspect she's going to go home and convince my dad they need a kitten. After all that, we went to see a movie at the cheap theater. It was only $3 total for both of us! I haven't had a day out with Mom in a while and I enjoyed it.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #35768
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    Mandy, that sounds like a wonderful day. Does kitty have a name?

    I've told my brother that he can bring his cat down (we're taking one of the cats that would otherwise end up in a shelter) the next time he comes. I've been doing a lot of research on litter and litterboxes and just got confused. I'm just going to wait a bit and then re- visit the issue. I did get a small cat condo and some scratching stuff, and that's pretty much it.
    Last edited by Suja; 10-02-2012 at 09:33 PM.

  9. #35769
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    I have tried just about every variety of litter under the sun and I can't say I'm in love with any of them. I ended up getting the pine litter this time around because it's natural so if the dogs get into it they won't be eating any weird clumping chemicals at least. My dearly missed kitty Cosette had a skin issue and the traditional litter got stuck between her toes when she had a breakout. I'm leery of it for any cat for that reason. The vet suggested the newspaper or pine variety. Tried the corn litter and it just got everywhere underfoot and was really difficult to clean up. It's kind of a no-win product.

    Kitty's name is Bosco, although we will likely change it. She's a delicate little girl kitty and I just can't reconcile the name.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 10-02-2012 at 10:25 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #35770
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    Awww Too funny about your mom convincing your dad to get one...has she had luck yet? That's great you got to spend time with your mom. I haven't been able to spend a day with my mom doing 'fun' stuff in quite a while. We went out a few months ago and stopped for lunch, but that was the first time in years. Literally.

    I am very excited to be going to see Glen Campbell with my dad. I'm not sure it's someone I would go see on my own, but my dad was a huge fan when I was growing up and he never does anything fun. It's literally been years since I did anything with my dad alone. I can't remember the last thing we did. It was probably when I was pregnant with Bobbie and she's 19.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #35771

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    L, I am sorry about your grandmother.

    And Chrissy I hope your grandmother is doing well now.

    Congrats on the kitty Mandy! Share some pictures please. I would love to have a kitten or two. But dh is allergic. I wonder if we kept the cat out of the bedroom and I vacuumed everyday, he would be okay. Oh and he could never touch the cat. When I met dh he had 3 cats, and I thought oh yes he is a cat lover. Now he's allergic. ugh. On Friday dh had day surgery-repairing a belly button hernia. His recovery has been slow, I don't think he was expecting it to take this long or hurt this much. And next month he is scheduled to repair a torn tendon in his right shoulder. That recovery will take awhile I am sure.

    Bridget, you have my vote for homeschooling the kids! It seems like it is the best fit for your family. I feel so badly for poor Kai. I really hope you get some answers. I know you won't stop until you find the answer, but I know how stressful and hard it is on you.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  12. #35772

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    Chrissy how is Cramer doing?
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  13. #35773

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    So glad you had a good day with your mom Mandy and congrats on the kitty!

    Hope you have a good time with your dad at the concert Chrissy and ugh about your family woes, extended and the altercation with Bobbie. I am upset for you on that front. I hope she really appreciates you and can look past herself to see that you are a person with feelings as well. I do think it is her age and hopefully she'll mature, but the way you describe her sounds similar to my DH who is still rather self centered and it is a big pet peeve of mine about him. He is like the center of the world in his mind lol. I think I embarrass him often with me complimenting on how a lot of the things he says and does are all about him and how he will get upset if we, mostly I don't do something he wants done, the exact way he wants it done, when he wants it done. It is really ridiculous.

    On our trip to Chicago he got a small spell of what I call his "Chicago-mania." Basically everytime we go to Chicago he is trying to do to much, he gets overwhelmed and then gets mad at me about something ridiculous, and a situation that never would have come up if he'd not been in Chicago. This time, it was because 1- he wanted to cook everything for his party. I had told him that I'd cook all the side dishes and he could just go over his brother's house, where we were having the party, around 3pm and BBQ the meat, as the party wasn't starting until 8pm and we had 8 racks of pork ribs and they take a long time to BBQ. He didn't want me or his mom making the food, he wanted to make it himself (he eventually was in the kitchen until 6:30 and only finished one side dish, he is horrible at time management with cooking) so I ended up spending the whole party finishing the cooking. 2- After I spent most of the night cooking, without complaints or nagging mind you as it was his birthday and I didn't want to get into a heated debate with him about anything, he got kind of drunk with his friends, which I expected so no big deal. I have told you ladies that DH is a pretty nice drunk, if I was a horrible wife, I'd encourage him to drink more often because we get along better when he has had a few drinks in him. One of his friends was super annoying, he also didn't want to leave with the people he came with. My DH is one of those guys who has to be the last person at a party so when it was 4am, I had to force him to leave the party, only this one annoying friend was left and since he didn't go with his ride, he asked DH's brother to take him to the L train to go home. I was nice and didn't want my BIL, who was a sweetheart to host DH's party in his new house, to have to leave at 4am and take this annoying guy to the L so I told BIL, I'd take him on the way back to my MILs house where we were staying. On the ride back, the annoying guy kept telling me I should just take him all the way home. He lived in a west suburb of Chicago, and he kept saying it would only be 20-30 minutes. DH then jumped on this bandwagon and was going on and on about how I should take this guy home, what a great friend he was, just gushing about the guy in his sweet drunk way. And I got super pissed about it and told both of them they needed to STFU cause it was 4am and I wasn't driving to any suburb and he should be happy I was taking him to the L and if he didn't shut up I'd force him out of the car to wait on the bus. So annoying guy shuts up but after I drop him off, DH goes on and on about how mean I am and how I should think about him and his birthday (see self-centered here) and make sure all his friends have a good time and get home early. I had to remind him of how I don't like parties (he knows I don't) how I cooked all night when I could have done it earlier in the day, how it was after 4am by that time and that the kids would be waking up soon, and Elle especially would be waking me up at 8am and I was freaking tired and he needed to stop being so self-centered. Then he got mad and went on and on and even said he was going to drive back to the L and get his friend and take him home - he was VERY drunk and he has done things like that before so we got into an argument about this in the car. 3- The day after his party, we had a lot of food leftover so we had an "after party" and invited more people to come and eat it up and drink up most of the alcohol that DH bought - he bought a ton. DH didn't want to leave even though I told him that we would leave by 3am, no excuses, he agreed to that but then didn't want to leave. I could tell BIL and his wife, wanted us to leave. DH then started trying to insult me by saying I wasn't "street smart" lol! Because one of his friends recently (one of his loser friends) came over looking for him at our house and the friend called him by a different name and since I know this friend is a heavy weed smoker, I figured he was at the wrong house or confused or something - he called my DH "Terrance" which is nothing like DHs name and I told the friend he must have gone to the wrong place because no Terrance lived with us. The friend then called DH by his "street name" which is "Helluvaguy" lol, he is one hell of a guy if you cant tell from this drama, so I knew then that he was speaking of DH. DH has a few "street names" btw, but Helluvaguy is one that his loser friends call him the most. Street names are so people don't know your real name. I have one as well but it is an old nick name and also have a regular name I use when I don't want people to know my real name. Evidently "Terrance" is the name that DH uses as his real name when he doesn't want people to know his real name. We have been together 13 years and I did not know this and DH was going on and on at his brother's house about how un-street smart I am due to me telling this loser friend that no Terrance lived at our house. Basically trying to insinuate that I have no common sense and trying to speak ill of me in front of people, which got me really upset, because actually DH is not very street smart when it comes down to it, he is too self-centered to be, and he had a lot of issues dealing with people growing up and is very naive and gullible and easy to get to do things he doesn't want to do - IMO that is poor street smarts. Then he tried to imply that I had no common sense due to me not being from a big city like Chicago. He was just in a different world.

    Needless to say, I had too many Chicago-mania incidents this trip. Also, I wanted to go to Frontera Grill (a restaurant owned by Rick Bayless a guy I watch on PBS on his cooking show, I wanted to try some things from there and his fancier place Topolabombo, as both restaurants are attached and I wanted to go see a play that one of DH's friends invited us to that we didn't get to go to) and DH told me that we would go on Saturday and instead I had to go to that after party where he tried to insult me in front of people (please know, he ended up being the insulted one because I told some factoids about him and his lack of "street smarts" that would rival any suburban-not-knowing-what-street-smarts-is person, so he ended up embarrassed and the butt of jokes, but still I was just shocked he would try to speak ill of me in front of people that is not something that he has done in literally YEARS!).

    But other than DH's erratic behavior and Chicago-mania, we had a good time. Elle's party was nice and I got some good pics and got to see some of DH's family I haven't seen for a while. I was especially happy to see that his little cousin, who is now 3 and was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 15 months and had to endure surgery and chemo, is doing REALLY well and he was just the sweetest little guy. Elle loved him and his little brother and told me "I like my little boy cousins, they are cute and sweet and fun and do what I tell them to do" LOL at her. I hope she doesn't end up self centered like DH.

    Bridget I am hopeful that you can find what is ailing poor sweet Kai. I would probably go to an endocrinologist to rule out any sort of hormonal imbalances as well as an urologist. Since you got the allergy prick from the other doctor, I would just wait on those results and not waste my time with another allergist unless something comes up as a result of the prick. My aunt, who is an RN always tells me she only goes to a neurologist for any sort of mystery so that is also an option, them and an endo. Her oldest son had a horrible skin condition and she did as Suja suggested, took him to a teaching hospital, one associated with Ohio State in Columbus, she lived in Toledo mind you but was sick of Toledo doctors not helping him, they went to an endo and he got some sort of medication and has the most beautiful skin to this day. They gave him an oral med and some skin cream that looks like tar. She still has that tar jar and uses it for her eczema even though I'm sure it is overly expired as he was like 6 or 7 when she took him there and he is 18 now lol!

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 10-03-2012 at 07:39 AM.

  14. #35774

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    Erin, I have no doubt you are street smart, what is your dh thinking?! It sounds like maybe it's a good thing your dh did not get the job in Chicago. yes? Or do you think he was acting this way because he is ticked off he didn't get the job. His attitude would have driven me insane. I cannot stand being around selfish people.

    I am glad that Elle had a good party!
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  15. #35775

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    Bridget, do you think he has an usually small bladder maybe? Do you remember if, when he was a baby, you had to change wet diapers really frequently?

    I know from my own experiences that there can be tests done to see if he is emptying his bladder-e.g. you take him in and have him pee at the doctor's office and then they do an ultrasound to see if there is any urine left in his bladder. I'd contact a urologist.

  16. #35776

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    oh and Jennifer I blame you for mentioning Snickerdoodle cookies! G didn't go to school yesterday and we baked them. He had fun rolling them in the sugar and cinnamon. "these cookies are the best I ever had in my life, cause I helped you mommy"
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  17. #35777

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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    oh and Jennifer I blame you for mentioning Snickerdoodle cookies! G didn't go to school yesterday and we baked them. He had fun rolling them in the sugar and cinnamon. "these cookies are the best I ever had in my life, cause I helped you mommy"
    Aww!

  18. #35778

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    Kate, Kai did pee a lot as a baby. I remember when I used to leave him in a cotton diaper with no cover was when I first realized how much he was going. I'd say to dbf how I couldn't believe he peed so often.

    Gilly is so sweet. I miss baking. I don't do it as often because gluten free stuff is so easy to screw up and then I have to throw away valuable ingredients! I've perfected the pancakes and waffles so I make those pretty much every morning.

    Erin, I cannot believe you dh! Well i can because he sounds so much like dbf. He just cannot see past his own needs. I find it hilarious that he would call you out on street smarts. I think it's so obvious that you've got 'em. I get so mad at dbf when he tries to call me out in front of people on things I know he knows I know. I alway say, "You don't want to go there. Trust me." and that usually quiets him really quickly.

    Today I am really entertaining the homeschool idea and pulled out the book i'd planned to center our learning around. It's this one http://www.amazon.com/Nebels-Element.../dp/1588208923 and I really like it. I'm going to read it cover to cover before I start planning. I started it way back when but then shelved it when Savana started school last year.

    So I'm looking for a urologist and endocrogologist today and lying and saying my dr referred me. Hope that doesn't turn around and bite me. I've left our dr 2 messages today saying that I need the referral but he hasn't called back yet.

  19. #35779

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    Erin, that party did NOT sound fun for you. I'm sorry you had to work so hard and put up with so much on your time off.

    Kate, we're on a plane about to fly to MA right now. I'm working during the week and we'll be in Cape Cod, Dennis Port this time. I've been thinking if how we might be able to hook up. Still brainstorming...

    Mandy, yay for Bosco. Between Kramer and Bosco, we have a growing Seinfeld crew of pets. Elaine would make a good dog's name.



    Doors closing!

  20. #35780
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    Yeah I think that those are great ones for little kids to help out with. Snickerdoodles are our favorite!

    B...I have never really said anything about referrals. I just call up whatever specialist I want to see and go. I only thought a referral was needed if it was for insurance purposes and your insurance required them like an HMO or something.

    Erin, I remember when you posted about the brain tumor....that is such fantastic news that he is doing so well!

    I know nothing about cat litter....but if anyone wants to know about doggie litter, I can help there. Not something for bigger dogs but sure is handy for little ones. Cosmo is 31 lbs and Molly is 23 lbs. Both go outside when I can or when I feel like it....but if it's raining, the box it is for them. Or it gives them the ability to go on their own when they way. Like yesterday I didn't get up fast enough so Molly just ran for the box and did her business before I was out of bed. Cosmo will often ask to go out, Molly doesn't yet. In fact sometimes when she is out, she is distracted and will not go potty and goes right after we get back in the house.

    I am back to thinking that after Cosmo goes, getting a second puppy again. Only took a year. LOL I swore I was only a one dog family after this try with two but I think Molly will want a buddy again.
    I'm thinking maybe of a Westie. I also suggested a collie to DH but I have a feeling that he will not go for a big dog. We are too used to litter box being available and he likes a dog he can pick up and hold and carry.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  21. #35781
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Mandy, yay for Bosco. Between Kramer and Bosco, we have a growing Seinfeld crew of pets. Elaine would make a good dog's name.
    Mustn't forget Cosmo! LOL!

    Erin, your "tales of DH" crack me up. Although I would have been very upset in your shoes. Yuck.

    Bosco is here. She yowled loudly the whole way home. She's been home now for 45 minutes and hasn't come out of her carrier yet. I'm about to go give her a treat and see if I can bribe her out. Shelley, i'll post pics for you all later.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #35782

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    Shelley, DH just acts like that lol! It doesn't have to do with that job, it is just his personality and how he gets out of character when he is trying to do too much at once, especially on little sleep. He was exhausted when we came home and he was especially sad that he had forgotten about me wanting to go to Frontera and sad that he didn't go to the play as the friend who produced the show was in it and acting/movie making/producing theater are his profession. He has a community theater that involves local teens and is really involved in the community so I wanted to go and support him. This guy is also DH's old mentor and music teacher from when he was 12 through 18 so a close friend and the guy was upset DH stood him up and gave DH a piece of his mind, which was when DH remembered me wanting to go to Frontera. He apologized for being so selfish in that instance.

    But yeah, that is just the way DH behaves. He is only like this when we go to Chicago, hence why I call it "Chicago-Mania." It was worse before he got that job prospect.

    He still wants to move to Chicago and is looking for other employment there. I honestly don't think he'd be so bad if he lived there full time due to him not having to rush around and get flustered about everything, which is what causes all these incidents when we travel there.

    Oh, forgot to mention too, the whole mania started off in the car!! DH called the people who were supposed to board Bruno while we were there and he was basically yelling at them via phone and really being rude so the people told him that they wouldn't board Bruno. Before they told him that, I was telling DH he was being unprofessional and that I was afraid to leave Bruno with them in case they did something to him over DH's poor attitude.

    DH started talking about going over there and breaking their window out. I have never heard him speak so crazy before! It was both funny and frightening and I made sure to tell him that if he did something so stupid and got arrested that I'd leave him and drive to my mom's for the rest of my vacation. He didn't do it and instead listened to me and called around for other options. He remembered one of his childhood friends' parents owned a pet shop that boarded animals and called them up. They remembered him and gave him a great deal - only $13 per day for Bruno's board. The other place was $25 a day and they wanted to give Bruno some boosters since we do them ourselves and don't have a vet record so it would have been about $175 for the stay at the other place. It was about $45 total at the pet shop and so we ended up getting a good deal and DH didn't break anyone's window.

    This sort of behavior is the reason why I say that I will eventually get sick of him. He just does and says some dumb things sometimes, like he has some sort of issue. He has told me before he thinks he may need to see a psychiatrist and I agree with him but then he decided he is just himself and doesn't have any issues so he gave up that idea.

    Erin

  23. #35783
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    Oh Erin! I too would have been HOT at him trying to call you out in front of people. Any time I see that, I think the guy (it's invariably a guy, but women do it too) I think they look like an ass. But in your case, 'cause he started it, I would have been happy to see you put him in his place.

    I'm glad you were able to have a great time despite that and the guy wanting you to be his personal taxi at 4:00 a.m. Talk about nerve!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #35784

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    Myles, it would be neat if we could meet up this weekend. I had kind of hoped to go to Carver this weekend. Both King Richard's Faire (a ren fest) and Thomas the Tank engine are going to be there (two different locations, but close to each other) I checked and Carver is about 45-50 minutes from Dennis Port which is actually closer than where I live. Do you think you could fit one of those in? The kids might have more fun at Thomas but it's up to you guys. Sunday, I think it is supposed to rain but Saturday might be decent.

  25. #35785
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    Ooh, a secular meetup!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #35786
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    Mandy, how is Gwennie doing with her new little brother?

    I vote for Thomas the Tank.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  27. #35787
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    Kitty or puppy? Kitty is a girl with a boy's name LOL! Gwennie is really interested in kitty and sniffing around a lot. She is used to cats so she just wants to get to know her, I think. Really, kitty is much less foreign to her than the puppy because she was the youngest so never had a puppy to raise before. It's a whole new world. So I think she'll do great with Bosco.

    She and Marcus are doing well, too. The other day, they were out in the yard together. Because of her separation anxiety, she really prefers to be with us and has always come the instant her name is called. The other day she refused to come - because puppy was around the corner and she didn't want to leave him unsupervised! He is getting to the point of pushing boundaries, though. He has gotten a little too nippy with her and she lets him know when he's gone to far, but if she snaps at him they both "make up" after with lots of sniffing and kisses from Marcus. It's very cute.

    So far puppy was interested in all the meowing from kitty, then went to take a nap. He isn't as curious as Gwennie is - I guess because he's still a baby and still learning what "normal" is around here (if you can call it that).
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #35788
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    Aww...they all sound so sweet. I'd love to see them interact together.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #35789

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    Speaking of animals, I came home the other day to find one of the cats sitting in Bo's bed. After she left and Bo was sitting in it he kept rolling around, biting and licking the material as if to get the smell out

  30. #35790
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Speaking of animals, I came home the other day to find one of the cats sitting in Bo's bed. After she left and Bo was sitting in it he kept rolling around, biting and licking the material as if to get the smell out
    LOL! Too funny.

    Even funnier, first time I read Bo's head not Bo's bed. So I had to go back and try to make sense of it. They were both funny visuals!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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