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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #35671

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    Oh, what are your thoughts about the twins having just started school? Will you keep them there?

  2. #35672
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    It depends on how far away we move. We are looking as far away as Crow Canyon Road in Castro Valley. Obviously it would be impossible to keep them in the same school. And you can see what I mean about the commute, right?


  3. #35673

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    Lydia, that is so exciting! I can't wait to hear all about your search and see your new house!
    Chrissy, I'm so sorry. That sounds so intense.

    Dbf is home and sleeping in I guess. Well, he got up to eat breakfast and went back to bed. Whatev.
    Savana and Kai told me a few weeks ago they'd like to read the stories about Noah and the Arc and Jonah and the Whale (darn veggie tales). I found a book at a garage sale this week that is bible stories for children. We are reading them now and they are clear that they are just stories like Snow White is just a story. When we finished reading last night I said, "So these are the stories that many people believe to be real. There are other stories that others believe to real too. Sometimes people fight about whose stories are real and that is what many wars are about. Can you believe that?"
    Kai - "Yes, mom. I can believe it. Do you know why I can believe it? You've told me a THOUSAND MILLION TIMES!"
    Lol

  4. #35674
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    Kai is too darn cute! How is he doing? And you know what, as a story the Arc and Jonah and the Whale are pretty good. I remember being fond of them but even as a child I took that as just that-stories.

    There was an interesting tidbit on the History Channel about the flood. They were by the Dead Sea? Red Sea? I can't remember but there was evidence that the area flooded suddenly during the period when Noah should have built his arc. The expert was speculating that 'the world' did indeed flood. At least the world as they knew it, but not literally the entire world. I mean, they still believed the earth was flat back then. So anyway...it made a lot of sense to me. I believe that there is some truth in all these stories...it's just between translation, being retold through generations (anyone ever play telephone?), and some creative thinking to add in magic, the Bible ended up being nothing more than a compilation of fairy tales. With some truth at the root of most of the stories. At least that's my own opinion on it. I'm not so married to that idea that I'd debate it though.

    This whole thing with Bobbie is really killing me. I'm torn between being gravely concerned for her because I know how she is. She's probably a mess and feeling like the world is over, but she's not going to talk to me unless it's to tell me again for the trillionth time how much I suck and how I've always sucked. And I'm pretty sick of hearing it. The other part of me is trying very hard to understand how she could have become so spoiled and expect so much to be provided for her and yet still feel the need to complain it's not enough. And when I say complain, I mean screech at the top of her lungs.

    I've been in 3 physical altercations this year. My brother, my husband, and now Bobbie. I'm not proud of it but I cannot think of what else I could have done. When Bobbie went at me last night, scratching and biting, it was like instinct kicked in and before either of us knew it I had her on the floor. I didn't push her or anything like that and I tried to take her down without hurting her...but still. I'm feeling just awful about the whole thing. I want to hide in my bed all weekend.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #35675
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    Ah, Chrissy, I feel for ya. I just can't imagine what I'd think. I hope that Bobbie can realize all that you do for her and not take so much of her pain out on you. It must be so hard.

    L, house hunting sounds exciting! I hope you find one that you love!

    Bridget, Kai is so funny. I'm surprised that Travis hasn't asked me more religious questions. The only thing he's asked me recently is why do gran and grandad go to church? And I told him it was because they liked to go singing with the other misters and ladies. I don't think anyone at the church knows that my FIL is an atheist, but they absolutely adore him because he has such a beautiful singing voice.

    And speaking of singing, I'm out tonight for a "curryoke" night. It's a charity thing where we've paid for a meal (the curry) and have to get up and sing karaoke. This should be interesting since I'm not much of a singer myself!

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    It sounds like fun Ash! I can't carry a tune in a handbasket, but I love to sing kareoke. And for charity?! Awesome!

    I'm not convinced Bobbie is just taking her anger out on me (us). I think this is just who she is. She wasn't ever this vocal about it, but she's always been a 1/2 empty kinda girl. I remember when she was about 8 or 9 and we'd just spent an entire day setting up one of those blue, rubber, round above ground pools. Back then they had just come out and were quite pricey (especially for us). It was around $400, which for us was a great sum of $. Anyway, we spent the day setting it up, leveling it, filling it...it was a lot of work and I was so happy I could give the girls something they had wanted for quite a while. I don't remember what it was, but something set her off and she stomped down the hall wailing, "Every day is such a bad day!" That was the first time I felt a flash of anger inside...I mean, there was simply nothing anyone could ever do to make her be happy. She's the only one that's made me feel that way, and she's gotten a lot worse about it as she's gotten older.

    I know it's not about material things. I've spent far more hours talking to her, listening to her, or chatting with her on IM than I have with Jesi & Syd combined. Bobbie is more emotionally needy and I get that. I've always gotten that and have tried very hard to always be there for her. Yet, she'll say I never talk to her. She says I'm always too busy. I really don't get it. Her perception is very different than mine. I consider 2-3 hours of straight one-on-one talking to be talking at least sometimes. And we've done that A LOT. But she insists I "never" talk to her. I'm at the point where I just want to give up...throw her out to the world and say, "you think I didn't talk to you or do anything for you? Well now I'm really not gonna." I won't--it's just how I feel right now.

    Ugh. I need to get off this because I'm just going to make myself crazy over it. I really hope she doesn't give up her job. I'm suspicious that she's stopped going to college because she hasn't been doing her homework that I can see. She works 5-6 hours 2-3 days a week and then she's either sleeping on the couch or out with friends.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #35677

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    Chrissy, that sounds awful. My stomach was in knots just reading it. I can only hope that Bobbi will outgrow it eventually. It doesn't make the 'now' any easier.

    I sound great when I sing in the car. My music teacher in high school, who was 60+ with blue hair, told me singing with the radio is the worse thing for your voice. ha! Have fun at karaoke Ashley.

    We are having a quiet weekend here, ds is with my sister this weekend, dh had day surgery yesterday, so I am tending to him. We are about to watch Pride Prejudice with Keira Knightly. I also got The Jane Austen Book Club movie. My dh can't exactly get up and run away. I am sure after those movie he will want to watch something loud with a lot of car chases.
    Last edited by raspberry; 09-29-2012 at 01:37 PM.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  8. #35678

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    Oh Chrissy, I'm sorry you had such a big fight. It must have taken a lot out of you. I hope she'll come around very soon.

    Have fun Ash!

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    She did come get her car, so I hope that means she'll be going to work. I know she loves it there and I don't want her to give that up. And I sent her a text saying we'll have a good talk in a day or two after we've both had time to decompress a bit. She responded with 'ok' so...at least she didn't tell me to f.o.a.d.

    I've had a busy, productive day. I rearranged my living room to get my tv & Conner's computer away from the heater. I'm tired and settling down and hope to have an extremely quiet evening.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #35680
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    I'm so sorry you and Bobbie are going through this, Chrissy. I know what you mean about that half-empty thing.

    My maternal grandfather died this morning. My mother is out of town at my paternal grandmother's memorial service, and everyone has been trying to get in touch with her, since she was out of cell reception. I had to pass a message on to her that her father had died, which felt awful, but it needed to be done. Her mother and sister were frantic. So she now has to go to Madison for his funeral on Tuesday, after being out of town for six days and planning on being in Wyoming for six days next week. I have been trying to contact work to ask about adding on to my time off to make this a complete two-week stretch of days off, since I don't have any alternate arrangements. I've been thinking about other things to do, but dh doesn't like any of the things I've come up with.

    And then I was thinking about how if I did have this time off anyway (hopefully work will get back to me), maybe I should take the kids and go to Wisconsin. Maybe we could go to the funeral and then Bridget and I could hang out and our kids would surely hit it off. Right? I especially thought Kai and Ro would love each other. Then I looked at the price of plane tickets for four of us. It would have been so cool. I was already trying to figure out how to explain to the extended family how it would be easier for everyone if I hung out with a friend outside of town instead of imposing on all of them.


  11. #35681

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    I'm sorry L

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    I'm sorry for your loss L. And so sorry that plane tickets are so expensive.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #35683

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    I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that plane tickets are so expensive. Are you sure you can't afford it? I'm sure it would be a fun and restorative visit.

    Chrissy - I'm sorry about the fight. I can't image how you must have felt afterwards.

    We just got back from seeing "The Master." It was really good, but I can't really tell you why or what it was about or what really happened. But it was riveting. I guess if I had to say, it was about an ambiguous relationship between two men. Whatever - It was really good. I told my dh that I want to go to a film study class in 20 years where they look at the films of the early 21st century - I think it will be interesting to find out what they were about!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  14. #35684
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    Syd & I watched Katy Perry. It was about Katy Perry. I actually rather enjoyed it. It humanized her to me, for sure, and made me adore her even more. I got a little teary eyed when she was really struggling with the heartbreak of the failure of her marriage and all dressed up seconds from appearing on stage and just losing it..but somehow she just snapped it together, pasted on her big, fabulous grin, and did it. A-maze-ing.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #35685

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    You know, performing can be a really wonderful vacation from being yourself for a while. You have to concentrate so much on the performance that you don't have to think about the rest of your garbage. I don't know how I feel about Katy Perry except that I feel like she is a lot more in control of her person/mind/career than most of the younger famous girls out there. Watching Amanda Bynes slowly disintegrate for the past few weeks is really disturbing. KP seems like she has some depth and strength of character.

    Oh, and speaking of disturbing: L and anyone else who listens to Radio Lab - did you listen to the latest one? I would be interested in someone else's take on it.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  16. #35686
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    You know, performing can be a really wonderful vacation from being yourself for a while. You have to concentrate so much on the performance that you don't have to think about the rest of your garbage.
    That may be true, but she did a solid year-long tour and didn't have any time whatsoever to deal with what she was going through. Ignoring/burying problems can be extremely damaging to a person's mental health.

    It was really sad...and yes, she has tremendous character. Her story is really remarkable.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #35687
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    L, i'm very sorry to hear your news.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  18. #35688

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    Oh, man L. I am so sorry for your loss. And at the same time I got really excited when I read that paragraph about coming here because I missed the part where the tickets are too much? Would it help at all for you to stay with me? I'd LOVE to have you all. I really, really would. Big hugs to you.

  19. #35689
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    Well, I still haven't heard back from work about whether or not I get the days off next week. Tickets for the four of us would be over $2K, and that's not counting car rental. The least expensive flights start around 11 or 12 PM and involve layovers in the middle of the night. And I know that a big part of my motivation would be seeing Bridget and family, and I would be torn about spending time with my family and supporting them and wanting to just be there for the events and otherwise run away to Bridget's and letting our children run and play and having a glass of wine with Bridget in her house next to the lake. Aside from that, I'm still supposed to be finding a house in the next two weeks. My dad skipped his own mother's memorial service to work on this. So it was just a dream, really, but a nice dream until I started getting practical about it. It wouldn't be a good idea. Oh, and plus the twins woke up this morning with hacking coughs.

    The twins have been asking a lot about death and what it is to be old in the past day, and they are making comments about who is old and who is not.

    Katy, I had to actually go look on the Radiolab website to see which episode was the latest one, because I finally broke down and bought the app and have been listening to a lot of the older episodes as well. I've listened to probably five episodes in the past week. The app is terribly buggy, but it does eventually sort of work. Anyway, there are a lot of comments on the site about the episode, and I assume you are probably referring to the Yellow Rain segment, since that was the most emotionally wrenching and confusing part of the whole thing. Hearing someone else cry is always upsetting, and hearing them cry because of rightful anger and sadness for an entire people is even worse-- I was glad they ended up talking a bit after that, and each presented their points of view, but since it was edited after the interview was over and the emotional part was done, it seemed excessively calm and didn't show any comforting or calming they might have done to their guests. I found the segment interesting, since I hadn't known anything about this mystery, but I didn't like the way they went about it and edited it. There were a lot of angry comments on the website about it. I just read the Wikipedia entry about Yellow Rain and found that fairly informative.


  20. #35690

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    Ah, it was a really nice dream. All day I've been making little plans in my head about what we would do. Nothing fancy, of course. But Savana and Kai have a lot of little secret spots just in our yard and the field across the street that i know C and R would love. Maybe someday.

  21. #35691

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    I secretly like Katy Perry. LOL
    When her first song "I Kissed a Girl" came out I was like oh, please. LOL But she's grown on me.

  22. #35692

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    I probably wouldn't even know one of her songs if I heard it. I don't know any recent pop music. I either listen to my old school stuff like Dead Prez, lauryn hill, Ani Difranco...OR npr radio. That's if I don't have the kids in the car. If the kids are in the car then I am listening to audio books. My brother is always saying, "Have you heard the new.....?" and I have to put my dork badge on and tell him I have no idea what he's talking about.

  23. #35693
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    I secretly like her, too! LOL.

    I'm sad for both of you, Bridget and L, that you don't get a visit. Although I think I would have been seriously jealous if you did so an immature part of me is glad you can't!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    L, I'm sorry to hear about your losses in your family. And such a shame that you can't meet up with Bridget and her kids as I'm sure y'all would have a blast. I hate that airfare is so expensive nowadays. I really want to see my family next year, but we're saving up for a new car, so we can't do both when they are both so blinking expensive.

    The curryoke thing was really funny last night, but it's made me realize that I'm too old for these late night gigs! We didn't get home til one and I'm suffering for the lack of sleep today! I didn't get to sing anything because I've never seen a crowd so keen to sing. The DJ that ran the machine was like, "people, I can't handle anymore requests." LOL. I did have fun singing along to all the cheesey songs that people sang though.

  25. #35695

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    Josh and I love to listen to music. I like some of the current pop, some 80's and 90's. My mom likes all these eclectic things that I really don't like but once in a while we like the same things, like she mentioned Mumford and Sons in an e mail today and I like some of their stuff.


    My mom sent me an e mail with the subject line "Important news!" so I kind of started worrying, and I opened it and it said there is an article on NKOTB in the Boston Globe magazine. LOL

    Ash I'm glad you had a good time! I've never even been to karaoke but it looks fun. I might even sing if I had a couple drinks.

  26. #35696
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    Oh, I've only just started taking notice of Mumford and Sons. I like that new song they have out; I think it's called "I will wait." And there's another band called Noah and the Whale that are similar in style that are good as well. I like all sorts of music; I don't tend to buy any pop stuff that is trendy in the charts, but that's all they play on the radio here, so I do listen to it every now and then when I'm not listening to a CD. I love everything from 2pac to Gary Allan to Johnny Cash to Kings of Leon, etc.

  27. #35697

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    I haven't bought music in ages. I think the last music I bought was a couple ringtones for my phone!
    (that is not to say I've been stealing it-I honestly haven't ripped or bought any music in a couple years I think)

  28. #35698
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    I loved Katy Perry right from "I kissed a girl and I liked it" I love all kinds of music.

    We had a good day at Conner's party. Chuck E Cheese was a great hit for him!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #35699

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    I'm glad Conner liked CEC!

  30. #35700
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    I like Katy Perry too. Pretty much every song that is on the radio of hers I like. We listen to a lot of music in our house and buy a number of songs every year. We were just thinking that we might have to censor out a bit of once we have a little dude....not too much but we have some songs where the bad words are just way too clear and I wouldn't want a 2 yr old repeating that.

    I HATE audio books. I know a they are very popular in the library and we check them out like crazy...and those are all non-fiction! I have tried them a few times but just cannot stand them. I'm leaving Saturday for a conference in Rochester and I'm almost certain my boss will be playing one in the car. But since he's driving, he can do what he wants. Last time we went to one, we listened to Packing for Mars I think. Least it's only about a 2 hour drive each way.

    I am sad to leave my girls for two nights and told DH I was worried about him taking care of them because he doesn't think to check their water and food like I do. He said to give him some credit....when he knows I will not be there to take care of it, of course he would check for that.
    Plus well it's boring to stay in a hotel by yourself. I think that I will be bring my laptop and some DVD's to watch.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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