Secular Confessions

[demigraf]

Erin, you know, I always think of Elle as an October baby? Because you were one of the first people be kind and dialog with me on this site (and Kate too) so I noticed you from the the get go, and if I remember correctly, you were in an Oct births room. Unless my memory is totally failing me. ;)

Chrissy, I wish Rich had invited you for that too. Hopefully it was just a forgetful moment and not a conscious attempt to shut you out of a big occasion. In fact, I'm pretty sure it was just a lapse on Rich's part. It still must have hurt, though. *hugs*

And Mandy I can imagine how mixed up it must make you feel. Even I have pangs when I see another friend make a pg announcement, and I'm not yet actively TTC and haven't STC'd in the past. It's natural for you to wish something so awesome were happening for you too. And even harder if it's something you've longed for with some frustration. You still have a good heart even if your feelings are mixed. Your human.

[demigraf]

Ahem. I mean YOU'RE human. Sorry, Ashley.

[missychrissy]

Ash, that really sucks. I'd be angry.

[AmeriBrit]

Ahem. I mean YOU'RE human. Sorry, Ashley.

I am not a grammar nazi, man! I would have seen your error and thought tsk tsk but would not have pulled you up on it!!!! Even I do the 'they're their there' some times that drives me batty.

[demigraf]

Oh yeah, and 7 out of 8 of DH's siblings are August babies. His dad always explains it as "cold Novembers".


Shelley, I was sorry to hear about your friend's husband. That is so sad to lose a spouse, especially at that young age. I hope your mammogram was just routine. And not too painful.

You guys, I'm cracking up about the comment I made yesterday about my mom being scared of dogs, remembering this one time, we were out for a walk on a beach. We were on vacation, and the most ADORABLE litter of 7 pugs came bounding up to my mom and jumping up her shins, yapping. She started dancing around like Jennifer Beals to "She's a Maniac" shouting "I'm afraid of dogs! I'm afraid of dogs!"

My dad just sat there laughing while the owner herded them away. When we got back to my sister, my dad arrived ahead and told her in this somber tone, "I have some bad news about your mom. She was attacked by dogs..." My sister started to react, "Oh no! Is she ok?" My dad gets a gleam in his eye, holds his hands 8 inches apart..."And they were THIS BIG!"

Poor mom. It's one of those eggs my dad never let her wipe off her face. ;)

On dogs...my overshare for the day is how I'm embarrassed about an exchange I had this morning related to my dogs. I was at the coffee house down the road from home with Bodhi. We'll be out of town early next month. We have our usual dog/housesitter lined up for all but the first & last days we're gone. So I get the idea that the lady at the coffee house might want extra cash since she's always trying to pick up hours at the cafe. We're on a first name basis, and she's always nice to Bodhi. She's gruff and very masculine, but always likable in my book. Anyway, I approach her and start by mentioning the dates we need someone and the fact that our house is just up the road. She immediately bristled and started pointing to a dogsitter's flyer on the cork board, saying she didn't even have time to let her own dog out. I didn't get the chance to even say it was a paid gig and easy money at that -just let the dogs out and spend a few minutes with them for well over hourly minimum wage. I don't know if she assumed I was asking her to do it for free. I was so surprised by her closed-off refusal that I didn't want to point out that we were offering to pay; at that point I couldn't tell if that was going to offend her more. Truth is, I had already planned to ask Bodhi's babysitter/teacher who has a key to our house and has also dogsat for us before, but thought I'd offer the gig to this woman first as a way to help her cash flow.

So I said a goodbye to her that included some awkward eye contact. It was one of those moments where I was so tempted to turn around and spend 5 minutes really explaining what had been going thru my mind, but that would have made too big a deal of it. It was just one of those times I had to say to myself that I knew my intentions and if she wanted to make the wrong assumptions and get offended in any kind of way, that was more her problem than mine. Still, it felt icky. In hindsight, I could have easily smoothed that all out with a casual laugh about how we wouldn't have made her rich, but were totally willing to pay for her time. But I wasn't quick enough.

My consolation was that I knew I was going to come here and lick my papercuts with you girls.

I'm at the gym now on a recumbent bike. I was up working til 2am so the morning is mine. I just ran into Santi's daddy, and he asked me to watch S for a couple hours tomorrow. They've watched B before, but never the other way around. That really cheered me up, the feeling of community it gave me. I love that our boys are growing up together.

[missychrissy]

Aw Myles. She was kinda rude to assume you'd ask her something like that for free anyway.

[demigraf]

Right, Chrissy. That's what I think too.

I saw this on someone's wall on FB. It was all I could do to not be a snark:

292937_10151164085974680_1407039024_n.jpg

Well, see, it depends. Are your opinions hateful and intolerant? Then, duh. I mean, sure, we all have freedom of speech. So it's also anyone's right to call a bigot a bigot in response. I'm not certain the concept of free speech is gelling for some people.

[demigraf]

Double post

[AmeriBrit]

Ugh, Myles, on that FB picture. Someone posted something on FB the other day about America being great because everyone is free to practice their own religion; I had to stop myself from posting something like, "and it's great to be free from religion as well!"

[Ky'sMom]

My mom is odd. She's afraid of dogs, but had no problem tackling the rattlers that would show up in our garage. My dad would chase 'em out with a broom, and my mom would chop off their heads with a shovel.

For some reason, I just noticed this and think it is pretty hilarious and reminds of a Modern Family episode when Gloria came out and chopped off a snake's head with a shovel and her husband and kid were looking at her all afraid LOL! Now it is extra funny hearing about your mom being "attacked" by the puppies. That is cute!

Oh, Elle was due on 10/1 but I knew she would come earlier than that due to a repeat C/S, but I joined Oct due dates back then because the Sept room was already "full" IMO and so I wanted a new room. I really miss my Oct peeps here but speak to them on FB every once in a while so you still have a sharp memory!

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

I sooooo would have said something like "yeah, my freedom of speech is more tolerable than your freedom of speech" LOL!

I actually do agree with the picture. I know a lot of my extra liberal friends were upset at me because I wouldn't boycott Chick Fil A over what their CEO said. I figure he can have whatever opinion he wants and as long as he's not discriminating against gay customers or employees, then I don't care what he thinks and if I want a Chargrilled Chicken sandwich, I'm going to get one.

Erin

[demigraf]

I totally see your point of view, Erin, but I personally wouldn't support Chick-Fil-A because I try to vote with my pocketbook. I'm sure I unintentionally support all kinds of bad causes with uninformed purchases here and there, but when I have the conscious choice to enrich a man who's made openly bigoted statements or spend my money elsewhere, I'll go with the latter.

What I don't agree with in the picture is the straw man argument it contains. (For our lurkers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man ) The premise of the card - by the way it contrasts free speech with bigoted opinions - is an argument against a false position that bigoted opinions are not protected under the first amendment. No one's making that assertion; no one is saying people shouldn't have the right to say derogatory, stupid and mean things targeted at specific groups of people. And yet the underlying statement of the card is essentially: "I have a constitutional RIGHT to make bigoted comments, and by calling me intolerant and hateful, you are suppressing my constitutional right to make these comments, so therefore I'm not intolerant and hateful", which is just plain wrong and illogical. It makes no sense, and is a dumb way to defend yourself against being called a bigot. That's where I'm coming from on that matter anyway.

I do want to get some grilled chicken now... mmmm.

[demigraf]

For some reason, I just noticed this and think it is pretty hilarious and reminds of a Modern Family episode when Gloria came out and chopped off a snake's head with a shovel and her husband and kid were looking at her all afraid LOL! Now it is extra funny hearing about your mom being "attacked" by the puppies. That is cute!

Erin

Funny. My mom has some similarities to Gloria. I mean, not in the voluptuous department, but she's always been a bit of a ditzy spitfire. My DH is IN LOVE with Gloria. I'm sure I'm not the only one here in that club.

[daylilies]

This is why I never want to know the political leanings of any entertainment, or food business, etc. It just doesn't belong. The CEO should have kept his mouth shut.

[daylilies]

Funny. My mom has some similarities to Gloria. I mean, not in the voluptuous department, but she's always been a bit of a ditzy spitfire. My DH is IN LOVE with Gloria. I'm sure I'm not the only one here in that club.

I've only seen a couple episodes of the show, but she's hilarious.

[Ky'sMom]

LOL Myles! Yeah, my dem people (what I call my friends who are heavily involved in the democratic party, a lot of my work associates are very involved in politics and I know quite a few people who are elected officials or who work for campaigns and they are always trying to have some sort of political discussion, which I don't mind but I think I upset them when I won't agree with them) were pretty upset about me eating chicken sandwiches lol.

I guess Chick Fil A doesn't bother me though because they pay their employees well. I like companies who pay well. They are consistently voted one of the best corporations to work for in the country. They give scholarships to their employees for college or management training. They are very much involved in the community here in Atlanta in particular. And they have good food. All that equals - okay to buy from them, in my book. Also, I have known quite a few gay people who worked there and they were never discriminated against. One of my good friends is more of a...I'll say stereotypical gay man, but he was excellent at his job and in customer service at the restaurant he worked in. He was an assistant manager and they paid for him to get an MBA and he still works for the company. So I guess I see them in a different light that what is shown in the media. Plus each franchise is independently owned, and you never know what views the actual owner has versus that of Dave Cathy.

There are some businesses though that I won't go to. There is an openly racist place in a suburban city I used to live in here in metro Atlanta. They actually put up racist messages on the marquee in front of the restaurant. They have an "Obama Burger" that is a bun with bologna on it (they have a paicture of him looking like a monkey next to it I hear with big pink bologna lips). They recently had a message on their marquee that read "I heard the whitehouse smelled like fried chicken and collard greens." They also have horrible things about Asians and Hispanics on their marquee. I would never go there because the actual owners are racist. But due to our first amendement gifts, they can say what they want and I won't get upset at other people going there if they want to. That restaurant has done things like this for years, like 30-40 years and are still in business.

Erin

[AmeriBrit]

Totally random, but I wanted to share a poem I wrote with y'all; tell me what you think of it. It's a Sestina Poem. You'll see the pattern if you don't know what that is (I've never thought of a title for it, but I wrote it after I visited Ann Bronte's grave at Scarborough, England):

As a college student,
I thought I would never marry;
I would write brilliant poetry
about life's march to the grave
like Longfellow. To be alone
was not a problem-it was the answer

I was looking for. Not an answer,
really, more of a college student's
explanation for being alone.
I loved poetry; no need to marry
some man to follow him to the grave,
leaving behind my love of poetry.

Life shone full of poetry,
posing questions to be answered.
I would find them before the grave
called me home. One of life's students-
I set out to never marry.
One knows a poet must be alone.

We all think that being alone
is a shade of blue, but poetry
can be found in dark shades. To marry
is to forget the question that needed an answer.
We forget about our days as a student
and slowly make our way to the grave.

As time has gone by, the grave
existence I had when I lived alone
has disappeared. Now, a student
of love, I have found that poetry
is life. You have answered
my questions. The student who would never marry

has grown into a woman who has married
and will follow her love to the grave;
for life is not so much an answer,
but a question. To never be alone,
to find your heart's match is poetry.
It seems, in life, in love, we are all students.

To have never married, to have always been alone
seems so grave now. There can be poetry
without answers, so the student has found.

[Cosmosmom]

Ash that is beautiful! Seriously. I took a lot of lit classes and advanced english (wouldn't know it by my writing which I know isn't that great) but avoided poetry like the plague. I just was never able to write anything even halfway decent.

[demigraf]

Ash, 99% of the time poetry is woefully over my head, but it can still move me - e.e. cummings, for example. And I really enjoyed your poem. I like the way you played around with the meanings of 'student' and 'grave', and I also like the theme you touched upon - your earlier assumption that there can be no art without alienation. I used to have the opinion that good art necessarily emanated from pain, but as I got older and maybe more mature, I realized that it can come from any source of sincere, strong feeling. I hope your husband is really flattered that you wrote that poem!

[missychrissy]

Ash, I hate poetry and was tempted to skip right over it just 'cause it's never my thing (I never, ever get it or appreciate it and often feel annoyed by it). I decided to skim over it because you're my friend, and then I had to go back and really read it. I loved it and I'm not just saying that.

[missychrissy]

I had another crazy day and right at quitting time I realized everything I did has to be done over again tomorrow...or whenever it is that my sys admin figures out and fixes what went wrong with the imaging process.

I'm not really irritated that I have to redo the machines-it happens. And even doing them twice is still a shorter amount of time than it would be if I'd had to manually set up each machine. What is getting to me is that 3 of the 5 are 'urgent' machines that were pushed to be done ASAP and I've had two people emailing me already about where theirs are. AND the f'n printer woman emailed me directly again about whether that printer issue was fixed (does she know which days are the worst ones to try and contact me?). She totally ignores the fact that she's supposed to be writing the helpdesk and that another technician has been assigned the problem. AND she admitted to me that the person she's inquiring about hasn't even been in our building (she has another office on campus) since the last time she wrote me!! I suspect she's trying to see if she can push me right over the edge.

[raspberry]

Thanks for the good thoughts on the mammogram. It went fine, the tech was very good. The doc called and told me all is okay. yay!

I have been cooking and baking all afternoon. Turkey meatballs, and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I hope they turn out well. They are both new recipes.

G was out of school today and it was actually cooler today, we played outside for hours. I got him his spiderman costume for Halloween and he changes into about 25 times a day to save me from the bad guys. My hero!

[daylilies]

Ash, that poem was beautiful! I really liked the style.
Yay for a good mammogram Shelley! So cute about the costume. Josh is going to be Darth Vader this year. I hope your cookies and turkey balls turned out good!

[Gwenn]

That was a great poem, Ash! Love it!

I was thinking, Erin, that I first remember getting to know you in the TTC room before you were pg with Elle. Wow that she is turning 4 now! I fondly remember posting some silly thing and nobody else "got" what I was saying other than Erin, who agreed with me. I suppose that makes you my longest APA connection! And I still agree with you most of the time!

I'm feeling slightly victorious about something at work, which I'll share now that it has all blown over. Our fearless leader at work came to my partner and I and asked for some paperwork to fax to a parent ... Paperwork that we would never fax because it is always part of a face-to-face meeting. We started asking questions and what emerged is that they wanted to conduct one particular case in a way that essentially was against my understanding of state and federal law. It was explained that the district was going to "waive" its policies in this case and I kept pointing out that this issue was not policy, it was state law. Of course, the signatures would have been mine and my partners, not admin's. We kept being told that this was coming from "above" (who is above? God? What?) Anyway, no one "above" had said a word to us about it. So my partner let our fearless leader (FL) know that we wanted to see direction in writing. We were told shortly after that we would not see that direction in writing, ever. So G stated that we would not do the evaluation as it stood. We were told, in a hostile manner, to take it up with our boss.

So, I emailed our boss and asked to discuss the case on the phone or in person, to which she replied politely that we would. A week or so later, FL arrives to state that they had changed their minds and they would not "waive" the policy after all. OMG, after all that! I don't know who decided this, but I'm glad I know the law as it applies to my job. I would expect FL to, but not so sure she does.

[missychrissy]

Oh wow Mandy! That's just incredible. It's shocking how reckless your FL treats your licensure to do your job...'cause you know darned well who it would have been to take the heat for it if anyone ever caught wind and investigated what happened.

[Gwenn]

Yup. It would have been my signature, not hers. And I would be the one to lose my license and never be able to work again.

[missychrissy]

I'm glad you know the laws so well. Stay up on them. geesh.

[Gwenn]

I probably should know them better than I do, which is what scares me. But I do know that much.

[Bridget]

Ash, I really enjoyed the poem! Nice job.
That is crazy about your job, Gwenn. I'm so glad you and your co worker didn't back down.
I went on field trip with Kai's class today. It was pretty cool. They went to the school forest and some local farms. At the school forest they had a few of the fifth graders teach the kindy kids about what sorts of clues would tell them which animals lived in that habitat. They pointed out some bark rubbed off a tree by deer antlers, some corn stalks knocked over and chewed up by raccoons, some "scat", footprints. I was so impressed by their teaching skills and they have a natural excitement about everything and that keeps the little ones captivated.
But Kai is having a bad reaction to something. Right after the hay ride he started telling me he was itchy and he got a red rash around his mouth. I think if the hay was wheat, and so dusty that is what he's reacting to. I just feel so bad for him. He was miserable all night. I gave him benadryl at bedtime because I know he will scratch his skin right off I certainly don't want to make a habit of giving him that.
Everytime I saw Savana today she was by herself, with her hood up. That surprised me. When I take her to the parks and stuff she is very social and quick to start playing with kids. I asked her tonight what her favorite part of the fieldtrip was and she said, "Coming home". I asked her if there wasn't just one thing and she said in the sarcasm that she has perfected, "Well, it was really, really fun getting yelled at by our teacher at the end of the day about how naughty we all were on the field trip and how disappointed she was in us. That was really fun since I didn't do anything all day but walk along and do what I was told while learning a bunch of stuff I already know."
Oh, this girl. My little six year old with the oldest soul in the world.

[Gwenn]

Oh, Savana. She is breaking my heart.

What is up with Kai? It never ends, does it?