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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #35161
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Maybe we're rarities, but we end up bringing Bodhi to restaurants in the $40/plate range pretty frequently, as that's fairly normal cost here in SF and along the coast. He's usually welcomed with a Kid's Menu and owners that go out of their way to greet him, accommodate us and make a buffer between us and guests without kids. We do use Yelp to find places that are kid-friendly, though. If Bodhi were misbehaving, we'd remedy it by either pulling him outside or distracting him with a toy or book. My expectations of his behavior don't have anything to do with what my tab is going to be at the end of the night. Whether we're eating at a cheap lunch counter or at a 5-star, we're conscientious of the people around us.

    That said, I don't believe it's an immediate social faux-pas to walk into a pricey restaurant with a kid just because the child might act up. It seems like the expectation from some is that, due to kids' volatile natures, parents should not bring small children into high-end establishments EVER. (And there's the perrennial debate over whether toddlers should be allowed to fly in first class.) I am a paying customer, and for all intents and purposes, Bodhi is too. So as long an establishment will take a parent's business - not ban it with a sign at the door saying "no children allowed" - then my expectation is that they cater to me and everyone in my party. If people expect a child-free zone, they should patronize establishments that expressly forbid children. If Bodhi shouts during his meal - because as a 3 yr old, he just may, I'll take him out, but I don't appreciate dirty looks from other patrons on my way out the door, as they chose to eat at a place that allows children, kwim?
    Well said, Myles!

    L, that Lord of the Flies/Ring story made me smile....much better to be a hobbit than a wild boy!

  2. #35162

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    We don't go to $40 a plate places but I'd bring my kids in a hot second and expect the same behavior from them there as at the diner where are total bill is $40.

    L!! Finally! Thanks for your advice. I did ask the dr we saw to do a scraping but he said no. I don't think he felt it would be helpful to him but perhaps a derm would feeldifferently.

  3. #35163
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    Oh I don't think that kids shouldn't go out to places and eat.....I would just appreciate better behavior than I generally see. Or at the very least the adult in charge as least trying to get child to behave and look like they feel badly about disrupting others.
    I really doubt that we have any places in town that don't have a kids menu...maybe the steakhouse pub place doesn't but they also have burgers and I would take my kid there. I'm in a smaller upper midwestern town that is generally very family friendly....and really fancy here is the steakhouse pub and that runs 15-30 a plate unless you get a burger which is under 15.

    I do think that some of the assumption is that kids will not enjoy fancy places so why spend the money or force them to do something really boring for them that they will not like. Shoot I even have a hard time sometimes finding something on the menu my picky self will eat. I know for the vegas show we were shocked to see kids in front of us for two reason...one the price of the show and two the show wasn't a kid type show (wasn't dirty or anything but wasn't The Lion King either).


    L, glad that he wasn't playing Lord of the Flies either! LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  4. #35164

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    Awwww, but R would look so cute holding the conch shell!!

  5. #35165

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    I never think about price in regards to restaurants and my kids either. We have been to some fancy/smancy places with the kids but I just expect them to behave. I have never seen behavior that you describe Jen. I would have said something the first time and probably suggest that the parents change places with the kid. That is really rude to be bothering someone in a restaurant IMO.

    L, I'm also glad the kids weren't playing Lord of the Flies lol! I would have been concerned hearing that one! I have also heard Charlize has a potty mouth. I don't mind that though as I think it humanizes celebrities to know they do rather normal things and profanity doesn't bother me that much, even though I hardly ever curse IRL. Oprah Winfrey is a known sailor mouth as well. I knew someone who was an intern at Harpo and they said she was very aggressive and cursed a lot but that she was usually cursing at or about something/someone that deserved it lol! I have always thought highly of her as well. Our CEO has been known to curse at work too and I like him okay.

    Erin

  6. #35166

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    So my MIL had to bring her springer spaniel in last night. He was going to be 14 in Dec. Knew it was coming because of age but in the past few weeks, he had been doing pretty well. Last night he was totally fine eating dinner and wagging his tail. By 9pm, she said he had clots of blood coming out of his nose and eyes and eventually mouth. Got him in as quickly as she could but it all happened very quickly and he pretty much would have not lasted more than a half hour longer at home anyway.
    He didn't act like he was in a much pain and we are hoping that was the case. It's just been shocking how quickly it went down. He had started falling a lot recently, most the hips giving out. But that was really about it.
    I have never heard of that happening to a dog before and wonder what it was.

    Glad that we saw him labor day weekend....when he saw my DH walk into the house Irving started running around looking for Cosmo. He LOVED Cosmo, didn't care about the puppy but nothing made him happier than obsessing about Cosmo.
    Poisoning or head trauma are the only two things I can think of that would cause that kind of bleeding to come on suddenly. I am not a doctor or veterinarian or anything. Regardless, an awful way to see your pet go. I'm sorry for your MIL.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  7. #35167
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    I'm off to bed now; I've just been reading over my script for tomorrow. For tomorrow's English lesson, I will be dressed as one of Henry the 8th's wives, and will be pretending to write a diary entry, waiting to be executed...then, the teacher is going to come in to the classroom, put a bag over my head and drag me out of the class, screaming and kicking. LOL. Tomorrow is going to be a fun day at school.

  8. #35168

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    I would never let G act that way in a restaurant. When he was at the screaming age, we didn't go out to eat at all. Actually now, we rarely go, but still he would not be acting that way.

    Jennifer, I am so sorry about your mil's dog

    Ash, that sounds like so much fun!! What age kids are they? That reminds me we need to watch The Tudors on netflix. Anne Boleyn is about to lose her head!

    And speaking of cursing. Last night G said full of sh!t. Apparently he heard it from my sister. She denied. Oh sure. LOL.
    Last edited by raspberry; 09-12-2012 at 03:13 PM.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  9. #35169
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    Jennifer, so sorry about MIL's dog. I'm wondering if he didn't have a form of cancer. Nero was falling a lot in the last few months. He was bleeding internally when we had him put down, but the tumor was on his spleen so we didn't see the blood exit the body. Vet said it would just stay in the abdomen because he was bleeding to fast for it to absorb and he was in shock from blood loss. Wonder if MIL's doggie had a similar form of cancer, just located somewhere where the blood had a path outside?

    L, too funny about Lord of the Flies! I can just see R.

    Ash, we need pics or video. Seriously. It's your big break!

    I agree that I expect not to have my chair physically moved by a kid, as well as other basic behavior, regardless of the price of the restaurant. I don't care if it's a fast food place - children do need to learn to be aware of others in their environment, for safety if for no other reason. But it does seem you don't see as many kids as the price and fanciness of the menu increase.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #35170

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    We can barely take Josh to any restaurant because he doesn't sit still, is a little noisier than is expected in a restaurant and doesn't eat his food. It's not really disruptive to other people as it is for us and it is just not much fun for anyone to have to keep asking him to calm down. I'd rather just eat at home if we're not able to relax in a restaurant and he ends up not eating anyway.

    DH and I have probably never been to a place that's $40 a plate, let alone brought Josh. LOL

    Sorry about MIL's dog Jennifer

    Josh's teacher called just now and said she wasn't aware of the little girl saying those things while waiting for the bus, as Josh suspected. She said she has been working with the girl, who has been having some separation issues I hope that it'll blow over after a while. She moved the girl's seat so she's not next to Josh-IDK if she's only targeting Josh for some reason or if she'll just be mean to the next kid she sits next to. She told me that when Josh told her about it, she asked him if he wanted to switch seats and he said "No, I'm okay." She switched them anyway, under the pretense that she just likes to have people sit next to different people sometimes.

  11. #35171

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    That's awesome she called you! Josh is such a sweetie. He reminds me of Kai as they both seem like the kind of kids that don't let much phase them. They can move on quickly which I think is a great trait to have.

    The only place we ever go to eat now a days is a mexican place in our town. It's nice because Kai can eat the corn tortillas with cheese and Savana loves the beans and rice. We are usually the only ones there outside of the family who owns it and their kids who are running around acting crazy so we certainly don't have to worry about ours being too much although we do expect that they stay at the table sitting down. Lately I've been making up mad-lib stories for Savana and Kai whenever we are in a position where we have to wait. Did you guys do those when you were kids? It's always good for a few laughs and also teaches them about verbs, nouns, adjectives.
    The people who own the place are great to us and dbf actually made a flyer for their restuarant and is trying to help them promote the place since it's always so slow and that it is area of expertise these days.

    Kai's rash is worse and I was so relieved tonight when his nurse called and said she set us up with a derm for tomorrow morning.

  12. #35172
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    Bridget, I'm glad you have an appointment so soon. Sorry his rash is worse, though.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #35173
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    I'm so sorry about your MIL's dog Jennifer How sad. How is she doing?

    Kate, that's awesome the teacher took that step to separate them and is aware that the girl is having separation issues. I'm sure it'll blow over. Josh is such a sweetheart.

    Bridget, I'm so glad that Kai has an appt in the a.m. Keep us posted! Poor little guy

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #35174
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    The funny part is that I'm a heavy person so it's not like my chair is easy to move. So you know he had to be majorly rocking his chair to have it affect mine like that. I think Dh and I have bad luck in restaurants because it happens to us a lot. Enough that we often go at odd hours to eat and places have a lot of space and seat that way.


    I'm sure that he probably had some kind of cancer. In the past six months he was starting to have a lot of trouble swallowing and would choke fairly often....but was still eating. A lot of seizures even with being on meds (less of them but still had them). If he had been younger, I know she would have done testing on him but when he's 13 and the breed average is 12-14....just didn't make sense to do a bunch of testing knowing that it would be cruel to do treatments or surgeries. Top it off and he's spent almost 14 years living with 1-2 smokers, including in the car with him.
    Dh and I weren't even together a year when his family got him....he was a such a cute puppy. Major PITA as an adult....big time whiner but we loved him anyway.

    Bridget, I'm glad that he's getting into a specialist and so quickly is great. I hope that he goes in and it's one of those where the doctor takes one look and knows right away that it's Blah and the treatment is quick and easy.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #35175
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    She's hanging in there. In the past two years her husband asked for a divorce and moved out (they are still married but are looking at a divorce in the spring....he has a girlfriend but she said he was really helpful last night....it was his dog two for close to 10 years). Than last year her mom died of COPD....they were very close. Her job cut her pay $4 an hour. She got a really nasty eye infection and almost needed a cornea transplant last year. And now her baby is gone and he was very needy so she's going to be lonely. It will be a lot better once she gets the heck out of chicago and back home to Milwaukee or up by us. All her family and friends are in WI.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #35176
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    Poor woman. Will she be able to move soon?

    When Harley first having seizures, we discussed having him put on seizure medication but the vet said that as long as they're infrequent it was best not to as the side effects from the drug are often tougher on the dog than the seizures themselves...and they can cause all sorts of diseases and ailments after years of use. I wonder if that contributed to your mil's poor doggie?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #35177

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    That's awesome she called you! Josh is such a sweetie. He reminds me of Kai as they both seem like the kind of kids that don't let much phase them. They can move on quickly which I think is a great trait to have.

    The only place we ever go to eat now a days is a mexican place in our town. It's nice because Kai can eat the corn tortillas with cheese and Savana loves the beans and rice. We are usually the only ones there outside of the family who owns it and their kids who are running around acting crazy so we certainly don't have to worry about ours being too much although we do expect that they stay at the table sitting down. Lately I've been making up mad-lib stories for Savana and Kai whenever we are in a position where we have to wait. Did you guys do those when you were kids? It's always good for a few laughs and also teaches them about verbs, nouns, adjectives.
    The people who own the place are great to us and dbf actually made a flyer for their restuarant and is trying to help them promote the place since it's always so slow and that it is area of expertise these days.

    Kai's rash is worse and I was so relieved tonight when his nurse called and said she set us up with a derm for tomorrow morning.
    Yeah, I used to love mad libs! That's a good idea.

  18. #35178
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Poor woman. Will she be able to move soon?

    When Harley first having seizures, we discussed having him put on seizure medication but the vet said that as long as they're infrequent it was best not to as the side effects from the drug are often tougher on the dog than the seizures themselves...and they can cause all sorts of diseases and ailments after years of use. I wonder if that contributed to your mil's poor doggie?
    I don't know. I do know he didn't get on them until later in his life....we have Cosmo on them as well and the biggest is the weight gain. She only had two we know of but one was really long...like over 8 minutes (I had the timer on for dinner so we are certain on time) and lost her bowls and everything. She's on a fairly low dose and it's kept them away.

    To be honest, he was a health mess. He had colitis, the seizures, hypothyroidism, allergies, and super ear infections where only one antibiotic could kill it and if that didn't work, they would need to remove his inner ear. He was prone to skin sores. And we always all thought he seemed a bit off in his head. Really surprised he lasted this long. It's just how quickly it happened and how it happened that is shocking. I cannot imagine seeing Cosmo go through that.

    Problem is she is 61 so too young to retire but finding a new job will not be easy. And right now she's still on his health insurance....and as someone who's had cancer in the past, not like she can buy a policy. But is too young for medicare. And their house has been underwater so a mess trying to figure that out. Looks like it's started to go back up so maybe they can sell it or she can force him to buy her out and get a few k for the trouble. and until today, the dog was a problem. She couldn't rent a place with him and didn't want to move him from the home he's been in most of his life.
    Hopefully in the spring after she turns 62 she can sort of retire and move or something.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #35179
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    I used to do mad libs too!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #35180

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    another mad libs fan here. I loved to come up with the weirdest word I could think of. My brother and I did them while we drove from Id. to Calif one summer. I cannot wait until G is old enough. I have seen them at the Cracker Barrel store.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  21. #35181

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I'm off to bed now; I've just been reading over my script for tomorrow. For tomorrow's English lesson, I will be dressed as one of Henry the 8th's wives, and will be pretending to write a diary entry, waiting to be executed...then, the teacher is going to come in to the classroom, put a bag over my head and drag me out of the class, screaming and kicking. LOL. Tomorrow is going to be a fun day at school.
    That. Is. Awesome.

    What grade level is this for?
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  22. #35182

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    The funny part is that I'm a heavy person so it's not like my chair is easy to move. So you know he had to be majorly rocking his chair to have it affect mine like that.
    A meaner version of me would have quickly moved my chair out of the way, causing the kid to lose his balance and topple over.

    I do hope your MIL gets out of Chicago and moves back to WI soon. With the bad luck she's been having, a change of scenery will do wonders for her, and to have loved ones close by would make all the difference in the world.

    One of the first little computer programs I wrote in a C programming class was a Mad Libs-style program, and it was a smash. Everyone else was doing the basic "Hello world" program (as in, execute this program and your screen will display "Hello world"), so mine became the one that everyone wanted to play while the students went from machine to machine testing each other's stuff in the computer lab.

    Ash, if we don't hear back from you in the next 24 hrs, we'll know that the scripted scene was just a nefarious plot to kidnap you, so please come back and let us know how the whole getting-dragged-away-with-a-bag over your head thing went in case we need to call in INTERPOL.

    Kate, that's very cool of your teacher to give you call. She's sounding like good people to me, the way she moved the kids around and is trying to help the girl adjust to being at school.

    Bridget, how is Kai doing today?

    Shelley, LOL about your sister, whom I bet is being a little bit full of it herself if she's denying G didn't hear it from her.

    Cracker Barrels! We don't have those out here, and they totally represent the way I eat when I go home to MA with DH to see his family. Gravy & biscuits, white breads and big stacks of pancakes. Nary a vegetable in sight. When DH & his sister headed down to Georgia to start walking the Appalachian Trail, their parents gave them a lift from New England. Their mom's name is Carol. They'd drive for hundreds of miles in silence, then they'd pass the restaurant and out of the blue, you'd hear my FIL point out, "Cracker Barrel, Carol." And then they'd drive in silence for another hundred miles. LOL. So DH and his sister don't just say "Cracker Barrel" anymore. They call it "Cracker Barrel Carol."

    I'm starting to let myself get pulled into random political disagreements I see on FB, like ones about the Cairo embassy tweets and the way they're currently in the spin cycle by both campaigns. (For the curious, I feel that those on the ground in Egypt knew their region and were in the best position to predict the imminent violence and try to head it off using the diplomatic means at their disposal, so no, I do not feel the tweets were disgraceful.) I am getting better at just saying a piece of my peace and walking away. Those discussions can get so involved, and the temptation is always there to dissect what's wrong with every tiny little aspect of people's arguments. One of the big reasons I refrain from getting into debates is the time and care I want to put into crafting my disagreement that I don't have to spare. So lately, I think I'm feeling a little more ok about approximately stating my case, knowing that I'm leaving some of it unfinished and moving on with my day.
    Last edited by demigraf; 09-13-2012 at 01:07 PM.

  23. #35183

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    Thanks for asking, Miles. He's worse, and the derm says it's scabies even though she did not even remove his pants to look at his legs, only looked at one spot on his foot. I asked her why the hives from toes to ears and she said that part is from the vax. I am very angry right now, like, boiling inside. She wouldn't do a scraping even though I insisted. She said it's not necessary and actually cruel when it's so much easier to treat him with the cream. Which is poison. And she's guessing.

  24. #35184

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    Ugh. I'm sorry she wouldn't give the help you wanted for Kai. Are you going to go with the cream? (Sorry to hear the double diagnosis of scabies and vax reaction.)

  25. #35185
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    Weird that they didn't do a scraping to know for sure like you wanted. I would almost wonder too if the hives werne't a result of the scabies (assuming that is what it is). Like a person who has a reaction to bees, maybe he does mites? Or maybe a reaction to the sulfer soap? I want to say you saw it, thought scabies and than said you scrubbed him with the soap, right? After that it just got worse and worse?

    Did she say to do anything about the hives? I would still want to talk to an allergist and see about testing him. I mean if it's from the vax, that is something they would want to know for the future.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  26. #35186

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    Yes I thought there was a chance the things I was using to treat scabies caused the hives. Except I stopped all that, per dr orders, and the hives continued to spread. Today it's on his hands and behind his ears and it was not there yesterday.

    ETA: She said the hives are probably from the rash and totally separate from the maybe scabies. I call BS.

    Sorry for my 'tude but I am so upset today.

  27. #35187

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    Bridget - The whole rash situation just sucks. I'm sorry the doctor didn't take more time; she could be right, but it sounds like her flippant attitude really makes you doubt whether she put much thought into her diagnosis. While I fully understand why you don't want to unnecessarily douse your kid in insecticide, if it is scabies, wouldn't there be a huge benefit to treating it asap? I do not envy the position you are in having to make this decision; that is for sure.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  28. #35188
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    I'm not the biggest fan of derms anyway. Took them about 9 years to dx my skin condition. Finally got one in college (and I had to go to Milwaukee for this.....I would really think about seeing a specialist in Madison) who took one look and was like oh that is HS. I was like what??? I took almost 10 YEARS of antibiotics that were not really doing squat most of the time. Only once in a while did a spot flare up and need one....I know what to look for now. Five years alone on cipro....was on that when the anthrax scares were going on and that was what they gave for that.

    I have one here that is really nice but too far a drive for you. It really sucks when you go and feel like they didn't even pay attention to you or care about you. Too bad we can't not pay the bill when getting service like that. If she works for a clinic or hospital system, I would seriously look into filing a complaint. We take customer service seriously here.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #35189
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    Hey, guys, checking in while I can-the beheading went well! LOL. It's a 5th grade class that I work with. They loved my being dragged out while screaming and shrieking for help. It was so funny because I put some earrings and a necklace on and a little shawl and the kids at the end of the day were all like, "Mrs, was that you that was playing Anne Boleyn?" I thought to myself, 'seriously, they're actually asking me this?' so I denied it. LOL.

    Oh, and I got my first telling off on the job...all because I put little lines through my number 7's! (The kids are struggling with their times tables, so with name badges, I wrote a times table on each one so the students became a number for the day). The principal doesn't like the number 7 to look 'too European.' How crazy is that. So, now I know. LOL.

    Bridget, sorry that Kai has scabies.

  30. #35190

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    I'm sorry Bridget, the whole thing sounds so frustrating.

    I have a couple questions-one, is there anything that kids can have that helps a cold sore go away? Every year around this time and through the winter Josh gets them (DH gets them too but he can use the poison to treat them ;)). I've never been successful in finding something to control the symptoms but I thought you guys might know something. He's got a nasty one right now.

    Another thing. Today Josh bonked his head when he got home from school. That and a disagreement over a snack built up into a fit and he went and hid behind the couch. I left him alone to work out his frustration and when he came out his nose was bleeding. He didn't even know, he just thought his nose was running. It was just a tiny amount and when I cleaned him up it had already stopped. Do you think hitting his head was the cause? It wasn't even that hard. I even checked his eyes to make sure he didn't get a concussion somehow and they look fine.
    Last edited by daylilies; 09-13-2012 at 02:44 PM.

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