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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #34471
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I really like the name Ruby, but LaRue is the same last name as this passive-aggressive co-worker I used to have, all smiley on the surface and all stabby behind the back, so that's all I can think of. And it does kind of sound like a stripper, sorry to say. I can't remember your DH's last name.

    Are you at all inclined to keep with the theme? If so, I like Tenzin and Anjali.


  2. #34472
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I forgot to add in my excitement over Mylah's baby names that today was just a yucky morning, with me feeling sick and then S. throwing up on me and then DD *yelling* at me, "YOU RUINED BREAKFAST, Mommy!" because I put diced pears from our pear tree in the pancakes and then bursting into tears when I asked her to leave the table until she could behave more politely. I had to do errands because my MIL is coming into town tonight and I need groceries and we're almost out of milk. The children tried to refuse to go with me. They told me I should just take them over to grandma's instead, or not do the errands and stay home and play. Anyway, not a great morning.

    I told them that I needed to talk to them about how we were all part of this family. That I don't like running errands either, but that they have to get done if we want to eat and have supplies like soap and toothpaste and markers. Fun and games are important, but we can't live on those alone, and everyone in the family needs to help so we can all play. Errands go faster when everyone works together and we are all happy, and a happy Mommy in particular is more likely to listen to requests about buying things and not say no automatically.

    They got the hint. They scrambled to get their shoes on, and we left. We had to do two stops, and at the first store (a pet shop), a mom with a couple of kids similar to the twins' age stopped me and said how wonderful my kids were. She said that they seemed to be full of a child-like wonder and appreciation, and they just seemed happy. They actually did seem happy. They were not just faking it and trying to be good in order to get a reward. They were all helping put things in the cart and being cooperative, and it was a complete shift from the morning. At our Target stop, they each asked for a box of Bandaids with a different character on it. I can always use Bandaids, so I was pleased to say yes. I feel kind of weird about bribing them like this, but I can't imagine how the day would have gone if I hadn't talked to them about how a happy Mom is more amenable to requests. They did ask for more things, and I said yes to some (orange juice) and no to others (popsicles), so I guess it's not too different from a regular Target trip except I was more explicit.


  3. #34473
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Mandy, try to find /System/Library/Fonts/

    See if sticking them in there make those fonts work. You may have to restart your computer.
    Tried the above and couldn't locate /system/library. Did a search of the hard drive - surely something should come up? That was how I eventually found the fonts folder.

    It's kind of complicated. I actually did stick the font in the right folder, because when I load Word I can choose the new font and it types out all the regular letters of the alphabet when I press the appropriate key. The problem is, the reason I need the font is specifically to access non-alphabetic characters (like the ones in this chart here) http://www.ic.arizona.edu/~lsp/IPA.html that most people don't use. They aren't standard alphabet characters and most of them aren't even in the standard list of special extended characters you find in Insert/Symbol. This particular font includes all the special characters I need as an extension but to get them you need to install an additional keyboard layout program that helps you find and type them as needed. The font part I did eventually figure out - it's the keyboard extension part that's giving me the difficulty.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    We're currently redecorating the playroom and our bedroom. I just bought these curtains for my bedroom:
    http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/3307721674...84.m1439.l2648

    Our bedroom walls right now are just plain white, so I'm thinking of doing one wall in a hot pink color and maybe leaving the rest white.

    The hubby and I can't agree on a color scheme for the playroom. Well, we're hoping to sell the sectional couch that we have in their right now to buy a dining table and change the room from a playroom to a dining room and to convert half of Cash's room to a play area. I'd like to find some curtains for that room and then decorate around them, but I'm having a hard time finding a pattern that I like. As you can see from the bedroom curtains, I like lots of color! The husband likes purple, but I haven't seen any purple curtains or wall colors that jump out at me.

    Travis is being very challenging this morning already. DH has already said to him once that if he keeps this kind of behavior up that he's thinking of sending him to boarding school. (That really makes me roll my eyes that he says that, but I know it's out of frustration since he just doesn't know how to cope with Travis' behavior). Well, in all honesty, I don't know how to react to him some times. Like, he's so full of anger for a little 4 year old boy. For example, the other day, my SIL was at my MIL's and had made her kids some dinner and asked Travis if he would like some, and he just started almost hyperventilating and shouting, "NO, I DON'T WANT THAT!!!!" And this morning's behavior is him going around saying, "I want this, I want that" and when he doesn't get it, he starts screaming and kicking things. I seriously wonder if I should send him to a child psychologist.

  5. #34475
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    Oh, and Myles, I really like the name, Ruby, too. That's my maternal granny's name and my niece's middle name.

  6. #34476

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    Ash, I do no want to diminish your concern over his behavior and you should for sure follow your instincts but I will say that children have very little control over their emotions at this age. i have been left totally speechless at the amount of anger my children have expressed over various situations.

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    I agree with Bridget, Ash. If I had done that, Mira would've seen a shrink by the time she was a year old, I think. By the time she's all done, I might need one, however.

  8. #34478

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    Oh, Ash - JoJo has been driving me 'round the bend this week because of that. Everything is oppositional and NO! and tears and anger if I deviate in any way from what she wants. It's really exhausting and I don't want to spend any time with her because she is so unpleasant. I am trying to formulate some sort of way to deal with this or I end up just getting screamy and it gets worse. Its really really bad.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  9. #34479

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    Chrissy so sorry to hear that you had an unauthorized ACH. Are they going to do the fraud investigation at least and give you a refund since this is a known scam? I don't know if you want to be a b!tch about it, but I would totally go up the chain to talk to someone to get my money back. I have never known a bank not to do a provisional credit when they know something is a scam after you bug them about it, but I am a bugger when it comes to my money and financial accounts and I know that banks don't like to give them out because sometimes the fraud turns out to not be fraud and they lose the money. But $210 isn't all that much and if you bug the right person/department enough I'm sure they'll give it to you. Is this a big bank or a community bank? If it is a major one, they especially should give it to you and if they said no at the branch, I'd call customer service and ask for a manager because over the phone a lot of times they can and know more about how to do certain things that branch workers.

    L your conversation with your kids reminds me of many I've had with Ky lol! I'm glad they were more cooperative after that. I hope they remember it so you won't have to repeat as often as I have with Ky. I had to speak to Elle in a similar fashion yesterday about cleaning up the living room. Cleaning the living room is her chore, including dusting lower leveled things like the TV stand and tables and she didn't want to do it so we had to talk about how we do a lot of things we don't want to do and how we should do them quickly so we can get to things we want to do. She wanted to watch cartoons because I let her and Ky watch TV Fri-Sun only during the school year but since I cut down on my own personal chores, I have delegated certain ones to the kids and Friday is our major cleaning day since I don't like to sit in a dirty house all weekend. She finally got everything clean though and got to watch Clifford and Curious George so all was well.

    And Myles, LaRue actually reminds me of something I read, I can't remember the name of the book, but it was a Madame's name, Madame as in head ho/prostitute. I thought it meant "the street" in French and so when I read that years ago I felt like the author must have used the name LaRue for the Madame due to its connection to streets and the things that go on in the sreet. I actually do like it as a name though but also think Pepe Lapew with Ruby LaRue. I love Ruby as well. It is one of my favorite gems.

    And Ash, as long as he wasn't super upset all the time, I also wouldn't think Travis' behavior was of any concern. Ky still gets into intense instances of anger where he will not talk and will just sit and look like he is about to transform into the Hulk. They are very rare though, maybe once or twice a year. They used to be once or twice a month when he was younger. But I agree with Bridget that you should always follow your instincts.

    On another front, I have been keeping up a lot better with my eating and trying to get into better shape. I kicked up my working out and have stayed under my calorie goal all week and I ended up gaining 1.6 lbs so now I am pretty pissed off. I am hoping it had to do with stopping that water pill they gave me and I just gained back all the water I lost from the week of taking the pill but I worked out REALLY hard this week and really paid attention to my eating so it is a big disappointment for me. I almost felt like crying because my body literally still hurts from the intensity of my workouts. I started weight lifting again after not doing it seriously for about 6 months so I have had to start all over again and I'm not sure if you ladies have done full range squats before and deadlifts, but they render your legs useless for about a week or two after starting. Literally all my major muscles are sore. Today is my "free day" for eating so I am going to make some guacamole and eat some gelato and not weigh myself again for another month. I also have been researching supplements to help with my swollen legs and found pycognel, basically pine tree bark that is taken in France as an anti-aging supplement that also helps with inflammation and eye health so I think I will try it out since it doesn't have any major side effects.

    Erin

  10. #34480

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    to you all. It's so freakin' hard sometimes. I was seriously disturbed by the amount of anger Savana and Kai were showing towards one another for a fight they were having downstairs the other day. I have been trying really hard to let them work things out their own to avoid the constant running to me to give me a report on what the other is doing. They were both red faced, screaming and crying. I seriously just took them one at a time and led them to their bedrooms by the shoulders and shut the door behind them. After they got it all out, the come out all exhausted and it was over. I agonized for days over how they had that much anger inside them!

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    Erin, I'm going to have to call them again. Apparently I was supposed to fill out a form at the branch disputing the charge, but I didn't know that. I told the teller I wanted to close that account and open another one, and why. I did tell him I was disputing the charge, but he must have assumed I'd already filled the form out? Or, he wasn't aware I needed to do that either. It's a community bank.

    And Mandy, I'm sorry, I can't remember if you had made sure to show hidden files? I know you need to do that before you'll see the system fonts.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #34482

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    Erin, I know how frustrating that is and I do hear so many women say that when they first start working out and eating right! So don't get too down about it. Just keep it up and when it's starts coming off it will come off quickly. Good for you for stepping it up!

  13. #34483
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I agree with Bridget, Ash. If I had done that, Mira would've seen a shrink by the time she was a year old, I think. By the time she's all done, I might need one, however.
    Yup. S. is my truly especially emotional child, but all of them have shown a lot of anger. I think about how I feel so much better able to handle things now, at 42, than I did when I was younger, but I still have moments when I feel like kicking something or crying. This is with decades of learning to self-regulate, and people describe me as a pretty calm and mellow person in general. And I still feel like kicking things (or people) sometimes, or beating my fists against a wall, or howling in despair.

    S. has been the worst. He has been hitting me, pushing me, and telling me to go away and that he doesn't like me frequently in the past few days. I think my other two may have done some of those things once or twice, but it took just remaining calm and saying I understood that they were mad but that whatever they were doing was not an acceptable way of handling it for them to change the behavior. He alternates that with angelic looks and the sweetest hugs and caresses, just enough to stay in the net positive.


  14. #34484

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    Yes Chrissy you have to fill out a dispute form any time there is fraud. Without that, the investigation will not start and they will not be able to give you the credit back. They should have given it to you at the branch and helped you fill it out. They will ask you about all your recent purchases and make sure you recognize them and just dispute whichever ones you did not do. Also it is standard to close an account with ACH fraud because it can happen again. Also make sure they don't link your new account to the old one as sometimes they will link the two together and pull money from the new account for other fraudulent charges. It is such a mess dealing with these things. I wish I had some extra funds laying around, I'd fly up there and b!tch to them about what they should be doing. I can't believe they didn't give you the form to fill out.

    Stuff like that, unfortunately, used to happen to a lot of my customers. They would be upset and in tears sometimes by the time they got to me because of other workers being so inept, which is totally not cool in these sorts of circumstances as most people don't have extra money lying around somewhere for their day to day expenses.

    Erin

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    Thanks for the reassurance, m'ladies. This afternoon was like the complete opposite of this morning. He was kind to Cash and gave me loads of hugs. I tried to make sure to praise him a lot and tell him how good he was doing controlling his emotions. He seemed to like that. I took him to the optician this afternoon and the dr commented on how mature he seemed to be for his age and let him read the letters instead of doing pictures. I thought to myself, "well, if you had seen him this morning..."

    Erin, don't give up on your routine. I think you'll start seeing results soon. My Sil goes on a diet and exercise regime every now and then and it takes her a month to start seeing results.

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    Thanks for the reassurance, m'ladies. This afternoon was like the complete opposite of this morning. He was kind to Cash and gave me loads of hugs. I tried to make sure to praise him a lot and tell him how good he was doing controlling his emotions. He seemed to like that. I took him to the optician this afternoon and the dr commented on how mature he seemed to be for his age and let him read the letters instead of doing pictures. I thought to myself, "well, if you had seen him this morning..."

    Erin, don't give up on your routine. I think you'll start seeing results soon. My Sil goes on a diet and exercise regime every now and then and it takes her a month to start seeing results.

  17. #34487

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    I was just about to ask if G was ready for military boot camp!! It sounds like we have other contenders. Sheesh this age is so hard. It's been months of bad behavior that has myself and dh ready to ship him off. He won't listen, when he wants something he yells or screams or screeches. He has started hitting, which he never did before, not even during the difficult toddler stage. I can't even blame it on his peers as he has not started school yet-ha! I feel a little better knowing that this is normal behavior, but man. I really commend you mommas that have more than one child. Honestly, when he acts this way, I think I could not do this again. I used to think I was pretty patient person but G has tested that patience a lot in the last 13 months or so. When I would babysit my nieces and nephews they were pretty well behaved and they minded me and we had a great time together. But once it's your kid, they save the worst behavior for YOU. Of course my dh doesn't help any. He tends to over react. Last night G decided it was a good idea to lock and shut all the bedroom and bathroom doors. Ack! Just because he felt like it. Then dh had to find a small enough screwdriver to fit our doors. So far today he's been fine. He did really well at swimming lessons-finally put his face in the water. Afterward we stay and he plays in the big kiddie pool. There is another little boy who is 5 that G plays with every week. When G showed the boy he had brought dive sticks for them to play with, the boy sneered and said "yellow and pink are girls colors" the boy's father said oh that is not true. I hate dealing with that kind of thing. I felt like talking to G about it, but then I didn't since time had passed. I already feel like when I am talking to him all he hears is Charlie Brown's teacher in his ear wah wah woh wah wah

    Anyway, when we are not ready to ship G off to boot camp he can be the most funny and delightful child. I just wish we would see more of that side. Welcome to parenthood, right?
    Last edited by raspberry; 08-18-2012 at 11:15 AM.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    We're currently redecorating the playroom and our bedroom. I just bought these curtains for my bedroom:
    http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/3307721674...84.m1439.l2648

    Our bedroom walls right now are just plain white, so I'm thinking of doing one wall in a hot pink color and maybe leaving the rest white.
    Ooh, I hope you share pictures when it is all done.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Ash, I do no want to diminish your concern over his behavior and you should for sure follow your instincts but I will say that children have very little control over their emotions at this age. i have been left totally speechless at the amount of anger my children have expressed over various situations.
    ITA. Little kids are definitely on a huge emotional roller coaster. Still, you know him best and if you are truly worried, best to follow your instincts. But sounds like this is pretty normal!

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    And Mandy, I'm sorry, I can't remember if you had made sure to show hidden files? I know you need to do that before you'll see the system fonts.
    I know how to access specific hidden files by clicking "show package contents." Is there another way to show hidden files system-wide?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #34489
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    Yes Chrissy you have to fill out a dispute form any time there is fraud. Without that, the investigation will not start and they will not be able to give you the credit back. They should have given it to you at the branch and helped you fill it out. They will ask you about all your recent purchases and make sure you recognize them and just dispute whichever ones you did not do. Also it is standard to close an account with ACH fraud because it can happen again. Also make sure they don't link your new account to the old one as sometimes they will link the two together and pull money from the new account for other fraudulent charges. It is such a mess dealing with these things. I wish I had some extra funds laying around, I'd fly up there and b!tch to them about what they should be doing. I can't believe they didn't give you the form to fill out.

    Stuff like that, unfortunately, used to happen to a lot of my customers. They would be upset and in tears sometimes by the time they got to me because of other workers being so inept, which is totally not cool in these sorts of circumstances as most people don't have extra money lying around somewhere for their day to day expenses.

    Erin
    I'm so numb from the other stuff that's been going on in my life, I can't feel upset about this. I mean, it's frustrating and a pain to deal with, but it hasn't made me want to cry...and for me, that's really unusual. I remember crying over 2 bounced check fees when my car insurance accidentally took 3 payments instead of 1. I had autopay set up back then. Won't ever do it again for anything!

    Thanks for your advice. I wouldn't have known about disputing it if you didn't tell me. I'm going to have to take an extended lunch because the closest branch is on campus. And it's the first day of classes so it's probably going to be a zoo up there. Ugh.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Thanks for the reassurance, m'ladies. This afternoon was like the complete opposite of this morning. He was kind to Cash and gave me loads of hugs. I tried to make sure to praise him a lot and tell him how good he was doing controlling his emotions. He seemed to like that. I took him to the optician this afternoon and the dr commented on how mature he seemed to be for his age and let him read the letters instead of doing pictures. I thought to myself, "well, if you had seen him this morning..."

    Erin, don't give up on your routine. I think you'll start seeing results soon. My Sil goes on a diet and exercise regime every now and then and it takes her a month to start seeing results.
    Conner's done that sort of thing before. It's frustrating and heartbreaking, but then he'll be the sweetest little guy This morning he offered to help me do the dishes, and he ended up doing them all. I watched him carefully and did the rinsing. He really did a great job. I only had to give him back one item because he missed something in it. Those are the moments that make all the rough ones worth it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I know how to access specific hidden files by clicking "show package contents." Is there another way to show hidden files system-wide?
    Here's a link describing how to view your hidden folders in Finder: http://www.mikesel.info/show-hidden-...s-x-10-7-lion/

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #34490

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    Well I am currently listening Kai (and have been for about 10 minutes now) scream about how unfair life is and how this is the baddest day of his entire life (because I asked him to leave Savana alone after she came to me and told me she'd really like to play alone for awhile). I have tried everything to comfort him but the last thing that he screamed in my face is that he will NEVER be happy again EVER. Until I let him do everything he wants to do.

    We have solidarity if nothing else, ladies.

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    I'm not going to say a word about how well behaved and mellow Conner has been. I don't want to jinx it. I've had my turn with the opposite, so y'all have my empathy, for sure.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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  22. #34492
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    Have our kids all been skyping each other or something? After a mostly well behaved afternoon where she played herself to exhaustion, Mira started screaming in the car about how she wanted her friend to go with us, then fell asleep, then woke up when being transferred to her bed, then screamed long and hard enough to puke all over the place, and near as I know, she's upstairs talking to daddy while I'm cooling off.

    Erin, don't worry about the weight gain. It's water weight, especially since you're lifting.
    Last edited by Suja; 08-18-2012 at 09:07 PM.

  23. #34493

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    Dbf just took all three kids to the store with him. His first time with all three of them out. The silence in the house is deafening

  24. #34494

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    ...and now he called me because he is at the store and forgot to bring money and "he really has his hands full" so could I please drive over there and bring him the checkbook.

    That was an awesome 10 minute break.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    ...and now he called me because he is at the store and forgot to bring money and "he really has his hands full" so could I please drive over there and bring him the checkbook.

    That was an awesome 10 minute break.
    I was just going to post that everything would go perfectly because it's such a novelty for the kids that they'll be little angels, and then from now on he'd always wonder what your 'problem' was taking them out yourself.

    I'm kinda glad he had his hands full. teehee

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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  26. #34496

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    Lol he also called to tell me when I was halfway there that Sawyer needed his diaper changed. I just hung up. Of course I brought diapers since I noticed he did not. Duh.

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    O.M.G., Bridget. I don't know what to say.
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    Uh...did he expect you to come and change Sawyer? I think the next time he gets an idea to take the kids out on his own, he should at least record the event for your (our) amusement.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #34499
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    Conner isn't quite unhappy with his life, but he's definitely in a miserable mood and has been for most the day. It's not over-the-top but he's definitely cranky and says so. We went to a park where someone was having a birthday party. And omg-what can I say about these people? They did nothing but scream at each other. The one I assumed was the grandmother was insisting that the time on the FB invite was 2 (apparently it was supposed to be 12) and I bet they spent at least 30 minutes screaming at the top of their lungs at each other about this. After that stopped there was some shouting between two groups of the same party that they weren't nothing to them and 'f-that' that they were married, it didn't mean crap we're still not related. On and on and ON it went. Nice bday party for a kid huh?

    Conner played nicely with 2 boys that were about his age. There was another group of 10-ish kids, some also not with the party. One child dared ask a party-attendee (obviously a child), "Hey, how old are you?" and the mother snapped, "None of your business!" The boy looked so embarrassed and was like, "Um, I'm about to be 10." He looked at the ground and shuffled his feet, and of course the potential playmate opted not to play with him because his mother was too scary. It made me feel horrible for him.

    Anyway, a whole bunch of boys went to the field to play catch with a little football and Conner wanted to go so bad. He kept begging me and I wouldn't let him. We had to leave and he's been upset with me every since. I just don't know how to tell him it was ok to play by himself with the younger boys of that group, but the older ones were best avoided at all costs.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 08-19-2012 at 01:07 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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  30. #34500
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    I think part of the crankiness at our house is due to the fact that none of us are morning people. It's not until lunchtime that any of the four of us become sociable. LOL. Chrissy, that's really sad about the whole park/party situation. It's hard to explain to kids why people are like that. I think all we can do in those situations is know that we know that we're doing the right things for our kids and even when they think that we've wronged them, we know that we haven't.

    Travis had a pretty good day today. We spent most of it out with his cousins, though, and that's when he's in his element. He loves his younger cousin R who is 8 months younger than he is. Their favorite game to play is 'babies' where one of them is the baby and the other is the mummy/daddy and takes care of the baby. LOL. But when we got home and it was supper time, he spent close to an hour eating his supper (whereas Cash ate his within 5 minutes). I hate having to sit there and listen to him whine about how he doesn't like it or he's not hungry, etc. when I know that he does like what we've made and that if he didn't eat it, he'd be saying he's hungry before bed. At bedtime, he asked me to make up a story for him, so I told him a story about a hippo who cried at supper time about not liking the food his parents had made for him....at the end of the story, he said, "Mummy, I was that hippo, wasn't I?" LOL. I smiled and said, "What do you think?" He said, "Yeah, that hippo acted just like I did."

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