Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

about the screaming. I love cinnamon rolls, too. L, why haven't you made me any?

Yeah L! Where are ours, hmmm?

I don't know anything about anti d's but man how inconvenient to have suicide thoughts as a side effect. I just can't wrap my head around that. Chrissy, are you and Rich getting along better? Not to be nosy, but he still responds to all of your fb posts like everything is hunky dory. What's up with that?

Apparently my misery makes other moms feel good. Today I stopped into our local kid's consignment to collect a check and pick up some clothes for Sawyer. The woman who owns it is sort of a friend. I've watched her kids a couple of times and I am in there so much that we are quite friendly. She just had her 5th child so she's obviously going through some ups and downs. She asked how the daycare was going and I said it's been a long week that I've had a child really testing my nerves. She was telling me that it makes her feel so great to hear me say I lose my patience because her and her friend (whose kids I care for regularly) think I am some sort of freak of nature that never gets mad at my kids. Oh LOL. That made me laugh. I was like, seriously??? She said yes and please tell me you yell at your kids and you will really make my day. We were laughing so hard and I told her I try so hard not to because my mom was a yeller and I hated it but yes I do raise my voice on occasion. She was honestly like REALLY happy about that. I asked her if it would help her if I told her I drink a lot and fight with my husband. It was all in jest but really gives me a chuckle that hearing about my imperfections gave her such a lift. She sure had a bigger smile on her face when I left than when I got there.

It's been a lot better since Sunday, but I'm limiting how much I converse with him and I'm not seeing him unless I absolutely have to. That's how Rich is...he's an ass when he's drinking and then he's sweet and the man I fell in love with when he's not. He's apologized for his behavior Sunday, but I'm done. I've told him he's made me not even like him as a person any more. He's acting out in his buzz-induced anger more now than he has in nearly 2 decades and I think it's because he's lost me and he knows it. But yeah, he still comments and likes everything like normal because he hasn't been drinking since.

Chrissy, thinking about you and Bobbie. Where is she now?

I have been thinking I need to take something lately. Then I feel guilty about needing to take something. No offense to anyone who is taking anti-depressants. I have family members and friends on them, I know they help. The last few months I haven't felt myself. I feel tired, drained, cranky, irritable, zero motivation. Most days I count down the minutes until bedtime because Gilly can be so irritating at bedtime. Then I feel like the worst mother in the world. He's such a sweetheart. Except when he's not. Then the idea of job hunting scares the sh!t out of me. I have been out of work for so long, the idea of an interview makes me so nervous. I have everything I have ever wanted-why do I feel this way?!! I told my dh all this the other night, and he said well you need a change. Basically telling me I will feel better when I find a job. sigh.

Bobbie is at work right now. I expect her home tonight, but I'm not sure what time. Sometimes she goes to her friend's house right after work.

I had to take something for a few months prior to leaving Rich. Within a month after moving out I was able to stop them (Wellbutrin) and I've been totally fine. It DID help, but I went through that phase where I thought I needed something and I really wasn't doing well, but I still hesitated to do it. I'm not sure why we do this to ourselves, but I can relate. I like to think I wouldn't wait so long if I ever got to that point again. But I probably will.

[raspberry]

I also love cinnamon rolls. My grandmother used to make the most delicious sticky buns with raisins. They were heavenly. Now when I see them in the bakery I want them. But I know they are too sweet and I will be disappointed.

Does Bobbie like her new job?

[missychrissy]

Bobbie hasn't started her new job yet. She goes Tuesday to fill out the HR paperwork and they say it takes 48 hours to get in the system.

Bridget, I forgot to respond to the 2nd part of your post. I understand where she's coming from. I know people irl that seem.to have.the.parenting thing together more than.I do and it's always a relief.to me when I see them act human ;-)

Sorry for all the periods I'm responding from my phone. What a pita!

[demigraf]

Shelley, I'm sorry you've been feeling the need for a lift of some sort. Life can be so up and down! If you're nervous about taking a prescription med, would you try an herb or supplement first? I can vouch for the effects of St John's Wort, Rhodiola, Dong Quai and a B supplement. Not all at once, of course, but they have all worked to elevate my mood.

[demigraf]

Oh yes, and seed cycling! How could I forget? The first 2 wks after your period, you take 1-2 tbsp of ground flax/pumpkin mix a day. The next weeks, you take 1-2 tbsp of ground sunflower/sesame seeds until menstruation. I grind them myself in a coffee grinder. Not only has that regulated my period, but it balances out my hormones and thus my mood.

I confess, I deliberately messed with my seed rotation plan so I don't have my period during the half marathon.

[raspberry]

Chrissy I thought the periods were for emphasis

Mylah, you know I have St Johns Wort, B complex, fish oil. I just have to be more consistent and actually take them every day. And the St Johns says you need to take them 3x daily. I know I would feel so much better if I exercised. G starts pre-k 3x week, so I will have no excuse. Thanks M.

[AmeriBrit]

Now I want cinnamon rolls, too, dammit! I can make them by using the cinnabun recipe, but it takes so much time and effort!

Myles, those dresses are gorgeous. You can just send them to me instead of putting them on e-bay. Speaking of e-bay, it's free listing this weekend, so I need to snap some pictures of quite a few things that I'd like to be rid of!

[Bridget]

I have been making gluten free cinnamon rolls (from a box). Not the same folks. Not the same.

Kai came into our room in the middle of the night and said that there was dead rat on his pillow. Turned out to be a tiny little mole but still. The cat brought it too him. *shudder*

[Cosmosmom]

I have never made cinnamon rolls but love cinnamon. Whenever I make cookies, it's almost always snickerdoodles because we love the cinnamon.

Dh had never seen Aladdin before all the way through so put it on the DVR one day and we watched it last night. It must have been 15 years or maybe even more since I saw it and holy cow if I didn't remember all the words to the songs.

And it was so exciting to sleep with the windows open last night. Pretty much have had to have air on since May.

B that is so gross!!!! Glad to have dogs, mine are not hunters....even Molly being part beagle will just sniff the ground but never tries to get the gopher in the yard. And Cosmo is way too much a princess to do anything other than bark at stuff. She has a personality that is just like Lady in Lady and the Tramp.

[missychrissy]

I saw your post on FB Bridget & was horrified! It gave me the willies! I think it's cute he's so proud the cat brought it to him though.

Conner fell asleep on the couch. I went to my room to read and left him watching some Disney cartoons. This is big because he hasn't slept in a separate room away from us ever. His mannerisms and speech is also getting very mature. It's breaking my heart!! lol

[Cosmosmom]

Uggg just saw who Romney picked for VP.....ugh it's Paul Ryan from WI. He's so pukey.

[missychrissy]

I don't think Romney would have picked anyone we'd approve of anyway. The more I read up on Romney's past, the more I'm shocked that anyone thinks he's a good choice. Why is it socially acceptable for large, billion dollar profit corporations to not pay taxes, or pay a minimal amount, yet we're actually discussion cutting medicare, social security, and other services to the poor? I honestly don't get it.

[Cosmosmom]

Well yeah there is that. I just have particular distaste for Ryan having heard from him too long. He is too much like our Gov Weasel Walker. I would have been happier seeing Tim Pawlenty get on the ticket. He seemed to be a pretty decent gov in Minnesota.

[Cosmosmom]

Or how about why anyone would praise someone for making money by outsourcing american jobs????? I'm all for making money but at the expense of american jobs....feels like blood money or dirty money to me.

[missychrissy]

I don't know much about him, but I'm sure I'm about to learn. Another liberal friend of mine posted that he was quoted as saying he worships the ground **** Cheney walks on or something like that. Ick. God help us if that's the kind of man Ryan admires.

[missychrissy]

Or how about why anyone would praise someone for making money by outsourcing american jobs????? I'm all for making money but at the expense of american jobs....feels like blood money or dirty money to me.

That too.

I've said before how Bain just did an assessment of Cornell (ironically, their recommendations were identical to what they'd given a university in NC as well as Berkeley) and their biggest recommendation was cut IT. My neighbor works in another dept at Cornell and her IT was severely cut (as was mine at Alum Affairs & Dev, and they found it didn't work and had the $ to get me & Scott in there). Hers hasn't been so lucky. She works for Gannet, which is the medical group for Cornell. It's a 'real' dr's office in that anyone can go there, but they primarily treat the students. They're working with old, outdated computers that have to be rebooted as much as 4x a day and they can't get IT support when they need it. If one goes down, it takes 2-3 days for someone to come look at it. How is that productive?

I know Romney isn't a part of Bain any more and hasn't been for a number of years, but this is the type of company he advocates. It doesn't do anything to recommend him to me. Or anyone at Cornell for that matter. Everyone b1tches about the Bain 'reimagining Cornell' campaign.

[missychrissy]

Conner is having one of his mad meltdowns. I spent 30 minutes trying to calm him but his rage just escalated. He hit me, kicked me, and wouldn't stop shrieking. He tore my bed apart and flung everything on the floor. I had to walk out. I don't know what he's wrecking but I can't sooth him andiI don't know what to do.

[missychrissy]

In the time it took me to post that, it was over. Whew!

[3andMe]

Looks like we've all had a high shriek ratio lately. I'm glad it subsided for you, Chrissy.

DH slept so late today we couldn't do an all-day event. We had been planning on going to the beach because of the warm weather and because it was our last un-booked weekend before school starts. The kids and I woke up at 5:30 AM. We finally ate breakfast at 7:30 AM. By about 8:30 I was starting to realize that DH was sleeping in to the point where it was going to take him a long time to get ready and eat and get out the door if we were going to do something. At 9 AM I suddenly panicked and thought what if he had a stroke or something and was lying there helpless in bed while we were all trying to be quiet for him? He has early heart disease in his family, and that's how his dad died, but that had never crossed my mind before. On the other hand, he'd never slept quite so late before without a good reason.

So I went in and he was groggily waking up. But even after a couple of cups of coffee, he was still bleary. I guess he'd had a hard time falling asleep last night. He finished showering and getting dressed an hour later, but then couldn't figure out what he wanted to do with the day. He had to keep sending the kids into another room so he could finish a thought or a sentence, but that didn't help. He was unhappy that they were running around so much while he was trying to make decisions, but I reminded him that they'd been up and inside the house and basically in limbo for six hours while we were waiting for him. He ended up taking the twins out while I'm at home with S. during his naptime, and I need to get back to work on making an educational brochure for a conference and filling out the 10-page preschool application. I hope they're having a good time.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I have been thinking about how some moms have mentioned that their partners tend to just sympathize or agree when they're having a hard time with the kids, or even add fuel to the fire. This was out in the general forums, and I can't remember the specific post or posts, but some of the moms mentioned specifically that it was unhelpful when they had a partner that agreed too readily when they were losing patience with the kids. That the "I don't blame you--they can be really difficult!" attitude was hard to hear and what they needed was someone to swoop in and take over for a little bit and have the extra patience that they didn't have right then. I think DH and I do this balancing pretty well, and for all that DH can be impatient by nature, he is remarkably patient when I am not, and when he is impatient I suddenly develop an extra level of patience that I don't normally have and will run interference and make sure the kids are occupied and content and staying more out of his way and I make sure that he is understanding why they are being the way they are. Yesterday, when DS was crying over the cinnamon rolls, DH came and gave him a hug, and then spoke to me about it in passing and told me softly that he was sure that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but that probably in his mind, he actually is really wondering why I am not doing everything to make him happy every single minute, and if a cinnamon roll right now will make him happy, why can I not do it? DH said he thought that a reasonable explanation of why I couldn't do it might help. I was annoyed enough by my morning that I couldn't just smile and be happy about the whole thing, but I do realize in general that this helps.

[Bridget]

It's good that you realize that, L, even in retrospect. I think it's hard to see much clearly when you are focusing all of your energy on remaining calm in the face of shrieking. I know it is for me. Dbf very rarely steps in calmly and takes over but when he does I am always thankful in retrospect and in the moment I say nothing about my very quick pang of "oh so he thinks he can handle it??". He usually comes in guns blazing and then I figure I might as well just handled it myself.

We went to the farm store today to get our milk and they had a whole shelf of free organic produce. Dbf asked if there was a limit and they said no please take it all since no one is taking it. He made a big spectacle and got lots of attention by announcing how he wasn't afraid to sort through some rotton cherries and then some women were asking him how he'll ever use them all and in true fashion he told them how HE sorts them, pits them, washes them, freezes them and uses them for milkshakes. And apples?? Oh all the things he can do with bruised up apples. I let him have his moment and I can't begrudge free produce so here I sit typing with purplish stained hands from sorting, pitting, washing, freezing 5 bags of cherries. Now to the apples

[Bridget]

Chrissy! That free kindle book with gluten free desserts is SO excellent. Well, I shouldn't speak so soon but I haven't made anything yet but I paged through it and I'm really excited to start trying some of the recipes. She uses no refined sugars!

[missychrissy]

Chrissy! That free kindle book with gluten free desserts is SO excellent. Well, I shouldn't speak so soon but I haven't made anything yet but I paged through it and I'm really excited to start trying some of the recipes. She uses no refined sugars!

That makes me so happy!!

L, I know I would have loved it if Rich could have stepped in when I was getting frazzled. I suppose he did sometimes, but the majority of the time he'd get cantankerous himself and bark at the kids (or me) instead. He always made things worse. It didn't even have to be about the kids. If I was stressed about bills and just venting about how we were going to manage to pay x,y,z, he'd start barking at the kids every time. It put a lot of pressure on me to always be perfect and never, ever crack. We had some of our worst arguments in the weeks after someone close to us died. Because, ya know, I'd start to actually grieve and he couldn't have that.

My mother's family notoriously leaves her out of all the family events. Because she has a mental illness and acted psychotic. Not in the last 25 years, but still, they won't let her forget it. I happened to notice my cousin posted something on FB about a family reunion today. I couldn't help but ask if my mom had known about it. Nope. My cousin told me I should come up. Yeah, right. Today she texted me the address and I responded with, "No offense but I'm not going to go someplace where they didn't think enough of me or mom to tell us about it." She said I should get the bug out of my ass and just get up there. No mention of bringing my mom. And it's not her family reunion. It's her family, but she isn't hosting it and wasn't involved in planning it. I've received a voicemail from someone I don't recognize (probably another cousin) and a text from a number I don't recognize asking me to come up. I won't do it. I'm getting pissed, actually. I really don't like those people (my cousin that I talked to aside. Even though she told me to get the bug out of my ass, I still like her).

Instead, Conner & I spent the afternoon at the park. He LOVES hunting crayfish. Today someone shared a cup for him to catch them in (der-why didn't I think of that?) I sat on the bank and read my book. I think we had a fabulous day, even though Conner snuck up behind me and dumped an entire cup of water on top of my head...and it's not hot out today! That water was cold!! Little stinker

[Ky'sMom]

I went and bought some stuff from Costco's today for the first time. I had been once before with my former boss, but didn't buy anything for myself. My former boss is the one who took me today too as she loves Costco and never misses an opportunity to go lol! I got some good stuff, but now am REALLY tired. I also had to go to the insurance adjuster today and they were located in Decatur, a really neat, yet outrageously expensive (in buying a home that is) suburb of Atlanta. It was on a street with a particular name and this name is a part of about 4 other streets, a regular street, East street, West street, and South street. I was supposed to go on East and stayed on the regular one and got so mixed up I was 30 minutes late and was about to give up and go home but went ahead and kept trying to find it. The guys were really nice and they even printed me a check out right there. I feel bad about the amount of money that the insurance company has given me lately, especially since my van runs pretty good and honestly I don't care too much about the body damage. It really isn't that bad. But it was more money for shopping on the "tax free holiday" this weekend. All clothes and computers (including tablets and laptops/notebooks) $1K or less are tax free as well as up to $20 of school supplies. I got Elle a lot of cute outfits at Costco and some rainboots that came with an umbrella, which she is in love with - having her own umbrella! You'd think she won the lottery or something.

I didn't wake up until 10am this morning, which is my usual wake up time on Saturday, sometimes I even sleep later than that. I can't imagine getting up at 5am on a Saturday! I envy those who are early risers though as I don't get up that early during the workweek, usually I get up around 6:30 but I don't really make it out of the bed until 6:55 or 7am, it is one of the benefits I feel of living in da hood close to school and jobs - I don't have to force my non-morning self to get out of bed earlier than absolutely necessary.

You would probably think my DH has died with how long he can sleep in L! He regularly sleeps until 1pm or later on weekends. I usually don't depend on him to come with us anywhere on a weekend outing most of the time and I don't even plan on him coming. When he does it is a nice surprise for all of us. On Saturday though he will get up with Elle (who wakes around 8am on weekends) and make her breakfast and have a conversation with her for about 30 minutes then send her to "clean her room" which really consists of her going into her room and becoming enamored with toys and playing for an hour and a half until I get out of bed lol! She usually will go ahead and clean it though once I get up and ask her about it. Today she got to go with me to the adjusters and to Costco and she enjoyed the trip so we had a good day.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

I bought a van today. Wasn't really planning on it but the 2013's are coming in soon and the rebates on the 2012's were way too good. We will be picking it up Tuesday. it's a dodge grand caravan. Between rebates and my dad's employee discount, we saved over 5K.

[3andMe]

Pre-kids (and real job, which happened kind of at the same time), my dh used to sleep in regularly to 2 or 3 pm on weekends. He would wake up by noon on weekdays. I was also a night person, but I have had an early morning shift and some night-time anxiety and such regular night wakings and no free time for so long (starting in the 90s!) that I have now gotten used to it. I usually wake up around the time my alarm goes off and can't go back to sleep. Most days my alarm goes off at 4:30 AM.

Congrats on your new van!

Speaking of vans, Erin...?

[Suja]

Whipped cream flavored vodka is da bomb. That's all.

[missychrissy]

Congrats on the new van Jennifer! And Erin, don't feel bad about the $. That's why we have insurance and in the end, insurance companies do not lose. It's not like you've done anything wrong.

I thought I was super lazy 'cause I slept in till almost 10:30 today. Now I'm not feeling so bad. lol

[3andMe]

Oh, Erin, I got lost in the first paragraph and didn't realize you started talking about Costco and ended up getting money for your van. I was just checking in and wondering what was happening with it. I didn't realize I was posting with a question right after you already answered it. That's what I get for checking APA while working (I was supposed to be making a brochure, and I did most of it tonight). Body damage does cost a lot to repair. Just because you are fine living with it doesn't mean that it doesn't and wouldn't cost money to fix, and wouldn't depreciate your vehicle if you were trying to sell it. Having had to repair body damage on more than one vehicle myself (from break-ins, etc.), I can attest to the high price of the repairs. Enjoy the money.

[3andMe]

I am going to share a funny and slightly gross story, so skip ahead, those of you who are squeamish or easily offended.

DH took the twins to a local amusement park from 11 to 4 yesterday. He bribed a magician to let DD be a volunteer in the magic show after DS had a turn on stage and she wasn't picked (I was alternately happy and dismayed with his helicoptering).

Anyway, I have not bought DD a Barbie, despite her asking for them. Yesterday she found a Barbie head on the path and picked it up. She fell asleep with it clutched in her hand. She says she loves it and it's going in her treasure box.

At one point they were walking around the amusement park and DD was grabbing at her crotch like she needed to pee. DH asked her point-blank. She denied it. So he asked her again, and then asked her why she was grabbing herself. In full view of everyone, she reached down the front of her miniskirt and pulled out this tangled mass of yellow hair, attached to a Barbie head. DH was horrified. I guess that's what happens when you don't have pockets.

I almost fell off my chair laughing when DH told me this story.

Oh, and when DH didn't stop and buy them ice cream on the way out of the amusement park, DS told him, after five hours in the amusement park (that DH can't stand), "Daddy, you never do anything to make me happy. Why don't you want to make me happy?"

[Bridget]

Dbf and I have tears in our eyes about the Barbie story, L. Our kids think anything they find at the park is a treasure so could totally see that happening here.