Secular Confessions

[AmeriBrit]

The natural consequences made me laugh and reminded me of that episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon keeps giving Penny chocolate every time she does something that he thinks is good.

We went to see Spider Man last night in 3D; it was strange because it was pretty much like the original Spider Man that Toby Maguire was in and they'd just put new actors in place. We'd gone with the drummer from Rich's band and his wife on a double date. It's the first double date we've ever been on and it was fun. Like Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother, we may have found our double date partners. LOL.

[Suja]

Remember the hippy-dippy folks who were discussing whether to go to the cops about allegations of child sex abuse, and I called that one in? I got a call back from a sheriff's office in Indiana! I am shocked that they took it seriously, and called back.

BTW, hippy-dippys decided that a) what happened wasn't *that* bad (groping), b) the "child" isn't that young (14), and c) the perpetrator is too important that they don't need to report it to the authorities. The creep is on "probation", during which time he still has access to the property (and probably, all the kids).

[demigraf]

That's crazy, Suja. So... is the guy now on probation because the police followed up on your call? Are you still in touch with the hippy dippies through a forum of some sort? They sound like a textbook cult to me. Their poor kids.

That's so awesome that you phoned it in!

[missychrissy]

Oh wow. I'm glad the police got back with you. Hopefully he's on their radar..and perhaps he's learned a lesson?

[Suja]

Myles, the guy's on probation (whatever that means) because they realize that he shouldn't have done that. But because he's an important person within the group and what he did wasn't "that bad", they decided to not report to the police. As far as I know, they have no idea about my phone call.

[demigraf]

Ah, I get it. The group imposed the probation themselves. I read it at first as the court imposing a probation on him after an arrest and hearing. Well, I hope they keep a close eye on this "important" man. Ugh.

[Bridget]

I will never understand how so many can turn a blind eye. Like the horrible things that coach at Penn State did. How do so many keep quiet? How does not ONE person within the group speak up for a child? It baffles me that the universe somehow brings all these people together.

[dana_renay]

Suja - That' s sick. I feel like every act of abuse he perpetrates from here on out is on those people's hands as well. Because they knew and they didn't stop him. The worst part is, somebody did speak up, because the group was discussing what to do about it, so somebody did say "hey, something isn't ok here", but they got quashed by the rest of the group.

[Gwenn]

Suja - That' s sick. I feel like every act of abuse he perpetrates from here on out is on those people's hands as well. Because they knew and they didn't stop him. The worst part is, somebody did speak up, because the group was discussing what to do about it, so somebody did say "hey, something isn't ok here", but they got quashed by the rest of the group.

Yes, this. Suja, I'm so glad you called about it.

[missychrissy]

Bobbie got that job!

[Bridget]

I think I am starting to get burnt out on doing daycare. I always promised myself that I would stop doing it as soon as I felt that because I don't want to be a grumpy daycare provider. I've worked with plenty of them and they are no good for anyone. This week i am caring for some girls that i don't know as a favor to my neighbor for an emergency situation and the older one has some behavior problems. I am holding my patience on the outside but I can feel it inside. I don't know. I think I got spoiled with taking care of the same kids for so long and they are all such great kids. I'm feeling a little lost and wondering if i have other options at this point.

[Bridget]

oh yay Bobbie!!!

[Gwenn]

Bobbie got that job!

I think I am starting to get burnt out on doing daycare. I always promised myself that I would stop doing it as soon as I felt that because I don't want to be a grumpy daycare provider. I've worked with plenty of them and they are no good for anyone. This week i am caring for some girls that i don't know as a favor to my neighbor for an emergency situation and the older one has some behavior problems. I am holding my patience on the outside but I can feel it inside. I don't know. I think I got spoiled with taking care of the same kids for so long and they are all such great kids. I'm feeling a little lost and wondering if i have other options at this point.

Bridget, I have been there with therapy and I know what you are talking about. I have done that, just holding my patience together. Really, don't give up too quickly. It sounds to me as though it's the challenge of dealing with this child and her behavior problem than the daycare itself to me. Don't give up what you love based on that, especially as it sounds like this girl is a short-term problem.

[Ky'sMom]

I agree with Mandy regarding the daycare Bridget. Especially it these thought did not come about until this girl started coming to you for care. She may just be a difficult case. I don't know if I shared with you all but last year my mom had a little boy who was in foster care in her class. She teaches at Head Start daycare, not actually Head Start but for 3 year olds in daycare who will go to Head Start next year. This boy was sexually abused and even though my mom felt bad for him, he really taxed her last year and she considered quitting the childcare business as well. He was a behavior problem every day, trying to perform sexual acts and tongue kissing on other children, and have wild outbursts to where she was in tears thinking not only about him and how horrible it was whatever happened to him happened, but also for the other kids in her class who she felt were cheated out of a good P3 experience due to her always having to deal with him and his behavior. She had 3 other kids who also had some sort of behavior issues, one had been abandoned by his mother and she had just gotten custody back of him after she got off of drugs last year and another had diagnosed behavioral disorders (she said he was the easiest!) that she had to work with him under the guidance of his chid psychologist and other professionals. It was a really difficult year for her. Oddly enough, she considered fostering D, the child who had been abused and who acted out on his abuse but his foster family gave him up and he went with someone else before she could get everything finalized. She figured it was not meant to be but felt so bad for him not having anyone to care about him and the horrible things he went through.

The job market being like it is, she could not find a new job for the next school year but luckily she said she got the easiest class this year and it has been a joyful year for her. Her class is moving up to Head Start Pre-K and she feels they all could go straight to kindergarten. She is very braggy about her "kids" lol!

On another note, I have been having some horrible breathing issues. I had laid off a lot on my working out and wanted to focus more on what I ate as that has more to do with maintaining and losing weight versus exercise so I have been really concentrating on my eating. I also have been having some swelling ankles recently, I don't know if I mentioned it here, I may have. But this, idiopathic edema, runs in my family, my mom and grandma called it "the poison water" and I was hoping I wouldn't get it but I have. My doctor ran a bunch of test on me since I had gained weight since the last time I had a physical and I wanted to get cleared for started a good workout program. They gave me the all clear, no heart or kidney issues, which is what usually causes edema, or diabetes, I don't have anything like that or high blood pressure or anything, so that was a relief but he prescribed me a "water pill." I have been bad and didn't start taking it until this week. I got the prescription the day before my van got stolen but I honestly forgot about it until two Fridays ago. I started having a tightness in my chest that I attributed to asthma since it mostly occurred when I was working out. Which is actually odd because I usually only have asthma issues when I am sick or during extremely cold weather or extremely hot weather. So I blamed it on the weather as humidity has been high. I also notice a small dot on my upper lip that kind of freaked me out. This morning my lip was swollen when I woke up, so I took a generic claritin and after a few hours, I could barely breathe. I had to pick up a co-worker from the hospital today (he had outpatient surgery and didn't have anyone to pick him up as his wife is out of town) and I soooooo wanted to ask them to check me out while I was there as it was so scary. I honestly thought I would pass out so I started doing "triangle" breathing, a technique I learned from playing trumpet that really helped my lung strength as a teenager and I have been doing okay.

So I decided to google, even though google is an enemy and all of the symptoms I'm experiencing "rare" side effects of this drug they gave me and it even warned on mayo that people with asthma should be closely monitored on it as it can cause breathing problems. They didn't freaking tell me this and I am so pissed off about it!!! I have literally been thinking I'm having a heart attack all day or a panic attack as it is similar but I've not been under any stress or anxious about anything so I was thinking that underneath maybe I'm going crazy and I don't know it!!

I stopped taking the medicine and the 24hour nurseline told me to take some claritin or benadryl to see if it will go away and I do feel better. It was alarming because I even dug out my inhaler, which I only use maybe twice a year and it did nothing for my breathing when it usually makes me feel much better within a 10 minutes. So I am hoping I wake up and can breathe fine.

I hate that I ALWAYS have the freaking "rare" side effect, every freaking time I take something, which is why I am so anti-med. It also made me think of Ky as he is allergic to Ibruprofen of all things, who the heck is allergic to that. And I am thinking of what DH says a lot that he inherited my "bad genes." And I hope that he doesn't endure these rare side effects like I usually do from practically every medicine I take.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Oh Erin, it must be a horrible thing to feel like you can't breath. How awful. You're feeling better since stopping the medication?

Sunday, when Rich & I had our big fight, my brother's good friend was in a horrible accident. His gf has been seeing someone else (I've heard it is my brother but I don't know for sure). The buddy got drunk & high on bath salts and wrecked his car really bad. He's still in the hospital with a broken neck, leg, shattered elbow, and he's blind. They don't know yet if the blindness is permanent. My brother is a mess of worry...and perhaps guilt? I don't ask. It's not my business. But if that's the case, yikes. My heart goes out to all of them regardless.

[Bridget]

Oh, no Erin! I hope you are better in the morning. That is actually really scary.

Hearing you talk about your mom's students makes me feel bad for even complaining. This child is not so bad as all that. I just felt really, really annoyed by her all day today and yesterday and I usually am not easily annoyed by children. She sat down on the side of the street and refused to walk while we were on our daily jaunt. She has no manners, complains constantly, fake gags about my food, very snotty to my sweet Kai. She's five. I am not going to be do anything drastic like quit tomorrow or anything. I honestly do feel I've been spoiled by the great group of kids I've had for so long. Really it's been 2 families with 3 children each and we have a great rhythm amongst ourselves. It doesn't help that I actually told this family no but the elderly grandpa showed up with them anyway at 8am yesterday morning begging me to take them, the 2 year old not even wearing a diaper and soaked in pee. How could I say no? But it's not the childrens' fault so I don't like myself very much for being as annoyed as I have felt.

Erin, please keep us posted on how you are feeling.

[Bridget]

Chrissy, are we forever going to post at the same time?
I hope your brother's friend can at least partially recover. That is very traumatic.

[missychrissy]

Yikes Bridget! I cannot believe she just showed up like that! Wow!

I'd say just ride this out and see how you feel once she's gone.

[Gwenn]

Oh, Erin, how terrifying for you! I hope the Benadryl is working. It makes me so angry when doctors mess up on prescription drugs.

Wanted to share a cute kid story today from work. I was testing this adorable little guy this morning who is just starting to talk, but still doesn't talk a whole lot (he's 3). We always do a "language sample" where I try to get them talking naturally and see what they say. He really wasn't saying anything at all but he started saying zzzzzz. He said zzzzz a couple of times, so I was trying to engage him so I said I heard a bee and asked where the bee was. We have a little toy kitchen set, and he pointed in the oven. Then a few minutes later, he said what was practically the first words I had heard out of him - "dat bug." "Dat bug" again, while he pointed in the toy oven. So I told him there wasn't really a bee in there, we were just pretending. Again, he tells me "dat bug" and points in the oven. I looked where he was pointing, and there was a dead moth!!! We haven't used that set all summer, and I hadn't realized there was a bug in there! Apparently all that zzzzzzz was him trying to tell me about the bug! LOL - cracked me up. Just goes to show you never to underestimate them.

[missychrissy]

Chrissy, are we forever going to post at the same time?
I hope your brother's friend can at least partially recover. That is very traumatic.

Great minds?

Thanks. I know these friends of my brother's better than most his other buddies and for the most part they're good people. They have a little boy about a year younger than Conner that Conner considers his best friend. My heart breaks for their son too.

[missychrissy]

Oh, Erin, how terrifying for you! I hope the Benadryl is working. It makes me so angry when doctors mess up on prescription drugs.

Wanted to share a cute kid story today from work. I was testing this adorable little guy this morning who is just starting to talk, but still doesn't talk a whole lot (he's 3). We always do a "language sample" where I try to get them talking naturally and see what they say. He really wasn't saying anything at all but he started saying zzzzzz. He said zzzzz a couple of times, so I was trying to engage him so I said I heard a bee and asked where the bee was. We have a little toy kitchen set, and he pointed in the oven. Then a few minutes later, he said what was practically the first words I had heard out of him - "dat bug." "Dat bug" again, while he pointed in the toy oven. So I told him there wasn't really a bee in there, we were just pretending. Again, he tells me "dat bug" and points in the oven. I looked where he was pointing, and there was a dead moth!!! We haven't used that set all summer, and I hadn't realized there was a bug in there! Apparently all that zzzzzzz was him trying to tell me about the bug! LOL - cracked me up. Just goes to show you never to underestimate them.

You guys almost make me wish I worked with little kids. Almost. I'll re-read Erin's post about what her mom had to put up with and that'll cure me. I couldn't cope with knowing such horrifying details about a child and the abuse they suffered. I'd be crying every single day. My hats off to anyone that is strong enough to do it.

[Gwenn]

Oh, no Erin! I hope you are better in the morning. That is actually really scary.

Hearing you talk about your mom's students makes me feel bad for even complaining. This child is not so bad as all that. I just felt really, really annoyed by her all day today and yesterday and I usually am not easily annoyed by children. She sat down on the side of the street and refused to walk while we were on our daily jaunt. She has no manners, complains constantly, fake gags about my food, very snotty to my sweet Kai. She's five. I am not going to be do anything drastic like quit tomorrow or anything. I honestly do feel I've been spoiled by the great group of kids I've had for so long. Really it's been 2 families with 3 children each and we have a great rhythm amongst ourselves. It doesn't help that I actually told this family no but the elderly grandpa showed up with them anyway at 8am yesterday morning begging me to take them, the 2 year old not even wearing a diaper and soaked in pee. How could I say no? But it's not the childrens' fault so I don't like myself very much for being as annoyed as I have felt.

Erin, please keep us posted on how you are feeling.

Bridget, after working with literally hundreds of children over the last several years I can say with certainty that no matter how much you like children, there is going to be a child or children who annoy you. It's unfortunate, but just the way it is. Hopefully those kids are few and far between but they are out there and you just have to get through it. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way once in a while.

And how sad that poor little one was covered in pee. I'm glad you were there for her.

Chrissy, I hope your brother's friend can make a good recovery. How tragic.

[Gwenn]

You guys almost make me wish I worked with little kids. Almost. I'll re-read Erin's post about what her mom had to put up with and that'll cure me. I couldn't cope with knowing such horrifying details about a child and the abuse they suffered. I'd be crying every single day. My hats off to anyone that is strong enough to do it.

It's *really* hard. Especially when you're STC. But just knowing you were there to make the difference for that kiddo makes it worth it to me, hard or no.

[Suja]

Erin, that's so scary! I can't believe you didn't go to the ER.

Bridget, I'm sorry the 5 year old is getting on your nerves. It doesn't sound like they have the best environment, though, so you're likely the best thing to have happened to them. Hopefully, the kid's attitude will improve over time, and she will come to appreciate you.

That's such great news about Bobbie! Hope it has helped lift her spirits.

[AmeriBrit]

Do y'all remember I mentioned that really poor family who goes to the play group that I take my 2 boys to once a week? I saw them again this week and those poor kids were even filthier than they were last week. It looked as though they hadn't been washed since the last week. The little girl had pink overalls on but you could barely see the pink for the black dirt that covered them. It's as if at home, they must just let her roam around the yard with no supervision and then don't bother to clean her up to go out. I think that the people at the centre are working with the family to try to help get them educated and trying to help them out, which I'm glad about. They sure need it.

I don't think I told you guys that I met up with the teacher whom I'll be working with this year. He's very new to teaching (only 24 years old!), so he's still very enthusiastic about everything. He told me that we'll have one student in the class who does have documented behavioural issues but that he has one to one support. I'm excited to get started at school but also so anxious because I want to do a good job.

Bridget, try not to be so hard on yourself about that girl. Some kids just make it really difficult to like them.

Erin, that's such a horrible story about the abused boy your mom worked with. I hope he's with a good family now. That reminds me of a documentary that I watched last night. It was about a 15 year old boy who had been with 25 different foster families since he was 5 years old. He had all sorts of behavioural and emotional problems. He'd been with his latest foster mom for quite some time but in the end, she sent him back to the system because he started stealing all her stuff for drugs and would get violent with her. It made me wonder if there is anything at all to help people like him.

Chrissy, I'm sorry to hear about your brother's friend. I hope he recovers from all his injuries. It must be so rough on his poor little boy.

Mandy, that is really cute about the little boy and the bug. I've had that same kind of experience with Cash before when he's tried to tell me something and I don't get it until a few minutes later and then it's like, "oh, that's what you were trying to say!"

Today we will definitely be getting out of the house no matter the weather. We had such a nightmare afternoon yesterday all because Travis got bored and started acting up. I had times like that. I need to let him run off some energy today.

I typed all this from my phone. I think it's the longest post I've ever done from my phone!

[AmeriBrit]

Do y'all remember I mentioned that really poor family who goes to the play group that I take my 2 boys to once a week? I saw them again this week and those poor kids were even filthier than they were last week. It looked as though they hadn't been washed since the last week. The little girl had pink overalls on but you could barely see the pink for the black dirt that covered them. It's as if at home, they must just let her roam around the yard with no supervision and then don't bother to clean her up to go out. I think that the people at the centre are working with the family to try to help get them educated and trying to help them out, which I'm glad about. They sure need it.

I don't think I told you guys that I met up with the teacher whom I'll be working with this year. He's very new to teaching (only 24 years old!), so he's still very enthusiastic about everything. He told me that we'll have one student in the class who does have documented behavioural issues but that he has one to one support. I'm excited to get started at school but also so anxious because I want to do a good job.

Bridget, try not to be so hard on yourself about that girl. Some kids just make it really difficult to like them.

Erin, that's such a horrible story about the abused boy your mom worked with. I hope he's with a good family now. That reminds me of a documentary that I watched last night. It was about a 15 year old boy who had been with 25 different foster families since he was 5 years old. He had all sorts of behavioural and emotional problems. He'd been with his latest foster mom for quite some time but in the end, she sent him back to the system because he started stealing all her stuff for drugs and would get violent with her. It made me wonder if there is anything at all to help people like him.

Chrissy, I'm sorry to hear about your brother's friend. I hope he recovers from all his injuries. It must be so rough on his poor little boy.

Mandy, that is really cute about the little boy and the bug. I've had that same kind of experience with Cash before when he's tried to tell me something and I don't get it until a few minutes later and then it's like, "oh, that's what you were trying to say!"

Today we will definitely be getting out of the house no matter the weather. We had such a nightmare afternoon yesterday all because Travis got bored and started acting up. I had times like that. I need to let him run off some energy today.

I typed all this from my phone. I think it's the longest post I've ever done from my phone!

[missychrissy]

Ugh-how you can not bath your children? Those poor kids. I'm sure they'll be teased in school too. It makes me sad.

When do you actually start Ash? It must be very exciting...and nerve-wracking at the same time.

That whole thing with my brother's friend is a big mess. He'd been drinking/driving because his gf was seeing someone else, so as far as I know she can't even take their little boy to visit him. The family is like that...they're going to blame her. They may even try to find her to beat her up. They're that type. It breaks my heart. I think I'm going to write her on FB and ask if she's ok. I don't know her all that well, but I'm assuming she's probably needing a friend.

Typing from a phone is a PITA. Cass posted on FB asking if her iPhone was really worth what it costs every month and wondering if she could be satisfied with a phone that just calls and texts. I've been thinking about that myself. I keep looking at my phone asking...is it worth it?

[Bridget]

I think that would be so nice if you reached out to her, Chrissy. What a horrible situation.

[Bridget]

I got an email from dbf's mom last night that our nephew (Dbf's sister's boy) who is 13 is depressed and has admitted to his mom that he has thought of suicide. I immediately went to tell dbf and I was crying and he said, "Well that's normal at that age". I am pretty shaken by thought of this sweet boy having these feelings and equally shaken by the response from dbf.

[missychrissy]

That's awful! And what an awful attitude to have about it. Normal? wtf-the rate of teen suicides is on the increase so perhaps it is becoming normal...but that doesn't mean we, as a society, shouldn't be concerned and doing all we can to help them when they admit to having those thoughts! Jeeze, sometimes I really wonder about your dbf Bridget.

Are they getting counseling for your nephew?