Secular Confessions

[raspberry]

whew we just back from a trip to the beach and saying goodbye to my mil. The trip was okay, it was a very nice spot, so under better circumstances it would have been a blast. We have already decided we must return just the 3 of us! I picked up a terrible cough from somewhere, the kind that keeps me up all night hacking. ugh. The little beach rental was really nice, but small for the 4 of us. My mil was on edge because it was the 1 year anniversary of my fil's death. And of course G chose the worst moments to act up. Our first night we went out to dinner, and G was tired, hungry and cranky. I took him to the restroom, when we walked up to the table he said hi poopy face to my mil. Seriously?! He was in a mood all evening, he wouldn't eat the food, and he kept wanting to crawl under the table. And mil doesn't stand for that kind of behavior. Instead of engaging him or ignoring him, she gets all pissy and I can feel her judging me. We went to Anna Maria Island, it's really nice there, relaxed and a has a very old Florida feel to it. Our rental had all kinds of beach stuff. We set up the canopy and dh and ds worked on a sand castle. I tried to read, but my cough and headache were getting worse, I really did not feel well at all. Gilly had a blast at the beach, and daddy took him out wave jumping and boogie boarding. He absolutely loved it!! When the wave would hit them, G would put his head down and then his little head popped up drenched but with this huge smile on his face. The night before mil left we went to dinner on the beach and G met a little german boy to play with. It was pretty cute, these two little boys playing with monster trucks in the sand and neither of them understood the other.

The next day we said goodbye to mil, her trip wasn't as bad as I thought, but still I have never been so glad to say goodbye to someone. She is just exhausting, she talks non-stop, and she is very critical of dh. I feel completely drained and it doesn't help that I have this cold. I'd love to just stay home and clean up, finish up laundry but I know that won't fly with my energetic boy.

[dana_renay]

Dana, I really totally agree with your comment from Random, but my somewhat newly-made mod hat was getting a little worked up over it, honestly because I think since I've become a mod, there's been precious little drama for us to mod! Really only one thread I can think of and that wasn't of the proportions of other drama I've seen on here. But what I have noticed is that the forum members (myself included) have a tendency to self-mod, or point things out to others in a thread with potential to get touchy, to prevent drama before it starts. My mod hat appreciates it, but really we do need the ability to have high-level conversations among adults. I guess that is a skill not everyone has and it's sad. Let's circle that point back to Erin's teaching critical thinking to her kids. Start young, folks.

I just want to clarify that I do not think that there is heavy handed moderation AT ALL. There was a crackdown at one time, and a few threads making it VERY VERY clear that we only want to be huggy-kissy, and a bunch of bannings, and that pretty much sealed the deal. Now members do self-police. I guess it's nice that nobody ever gets their feelings hurt, and I've accepted that many people enjoy having a place where they are never challenged, or questioned and everybody supports everything they do. But it does make for a less thoughtful and interesting forum, IMO.

[QUOTE=Gwenn;1058666293]

I had to tell you guys this. I had mentioned previously a friend of mine whose son was born the day before Mira, who struggled over 5 years and through 3 miscarriages to have her son. She has been trying to get pregnant pretty much since he was born, and just posted that she's pregnant again, another February baby. She is 43, and both pregnancies are the result of IVF.

Aww. Congratulations to your friend. So exciting that she is finally getting to expand her family.

Jennifer - Congratulations on your weight loss! I admire your discipline!

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy I had noticed you were a mod but thought that it was a long ago change that I missed for a while, not a recent one!

Um, yeah I was one that got banned for a while a number of years ago and got my hands slapped at least one other time so I definitely self-police now. Everyone getting along and things being calm...well it is less interesting. Drama is definitely more fun and interesting. Like on a soap opera....couples don't stay all happy-happy for long because it's boring and drama and cliff-hangers are just more fun.
I would probably stop coming here too if it wasn't for this room and as long as I am here, I usually check out a few others.
If someone doesn't feel like they fit, they should try to find a place as there are places here if you want them. I mean after coming for five years, I still do not have a child and do not have plan on ever being pregnant at this point....and still find a few places to fit in.
If people are finding it slow and boring....start up some interesting conversations! I could go start some drama.......


Well I don't know how disciplined I really am. I am happy about the loss even though it took almost 3 months to get there. Better than not losing or gaining of course. But really so far I'm just trying to make small changes and be more aware. Like last night I had spaghetti for dinner. Decent amount and pasta is a problem area for me. So I know that it used a lot of points and I skipped the nightly popcorn. And ditching the alcohol. We had tried just having it weekends and I'm NOT good at just one or two. If it's in the house I will drink it so last Sunday I actually poured the rest of the wine down the drain. And than when I have some drinks, I want to snack and give into that. I'm just much better off NOT having it in the house.
So really so far it's been limiting pasta to usually only twice a week (and stopping having buttered noodles as a side dish....like I said pasta is a big problem area for me), starting to realize that no only do I need to cut back the alcohol, I need to ditch it and only have it as a once in a while thing in limited amounts (like if we were eating out a nice place, having one glass of wine). And really making and effort to keep track of what I'm eating in writing....and pushing fruits and veggies as much as possible.
But I still have pizza, or a desert once in a while....not depriving myself of favorites because I know I will not keep up with that long term.

I am just annoyed that I lost 160 lbs....I knew that some gaining back was going to almost certainly happen but I did not mean to gain back half of that.

Uggg they just called a team for a level one pediatric trauma on the overhead. I hate hearing any traumas called but especially hate hearing pediatric ones.

[Bridget]

Just home from camping. It was great outside of some minor mishaps, like Kai getting stung by a bee and Savana having major mood swings. Nothing we can't handle!

I agree the drama is less around here and it makes less people post. People love that! That's why these ridiculous, pointless reality shows are so successful!
I try to start posts here and there but don't get much response and when I do, it's you guys anyway lol. Might as well just stay in here.

Lots to do, just go home. Will catch up more later.

[Suja]

BTW, I posted about my friend in a 'Hope springs eternal' way, not to be hurtful at all. She's a tough Joisey gal, but is reduced to a puddle of tears by the mere thought that she has a child.

Have a big client dinner coming up. Of course, will probably have a 1000+ calorie dinner. I've been saving up for it, and will do some Tabata in a while. That should hopefully be enough.

Went to Kohl's to look for a matching handbag for my dress for tonight, and since a whole bunch of clothing was on clearance, I figured, why not? I now fit into Juniors Size 3 skinny jeans. Except of course, I'm too short and these things are like 6 inches too long. The regular Misses and Petites size 4s were too big, so I didn't get those either. I was feeling good about my body, and then went and tried bathing suits, a bikini even (never worn one, never even tried on one before, apparently for a good reason). UGH! Not gonna do that again, probably ever. This stupid jello stomach is just refusing to budge. I did cheer up though when I found out that the $39 handbag that matches my dress was on clearance for $3.90. I'm pretty sure that was a mistake.

[Ky'sMom]

Today Elle is going to have a "graduation" from daycare lol! I hope it will be cute. Today is her last day and even though she's excited, I can tell she is a bit apprehensive especially this morning because or daycare provider was looking all sad about her not coming back next week, teary eyed. She really does love Elle, which is why I don't have a problem tolerating the irritating things she has said and done over the years, especially recently as they have been occurring more often in teh past few months. She was going on and on today about how Elle is such a helper at daycare. Elle loves little babies and since 2 other of her daycare kids are also leaving and one has already left, she now has two younger kids - a 2 year old and a 1 year old. The 2 year old LOVES Elle and follows her around all the time and I know she is going to be sad about Elle leaving. Elle wants her to go to preschool with her as she loves the little girl too. It was too cute yesterday morning we got to daycare a little later than usual and the 2 year old said "Yay!! My Ella came!" and started dancing a jig. Ms. B the daycare provider said that Elle reads to the 2 year old and helps her wash her hands and the 2 year old always wants Elle to be her company when she goes to the bathroom. Elle is helping PT her since she wants to be like Elle and Elle likes to encourage "little" girsl to be "big" girls.

I am looking forward to her moving on though and besides our daycare is 4 blocks away and we will still drop in every once in a while to catch up with everyone.

Erin

[demigraf]

Shelley, your vacation sounds lover-ly. And your MIL... uh... doesn't. I hope you do go back there without her.

Happy graduation day, little Elle!!

So... I'm curious... can anyone read this story without dying from laughter? I just read it out loud to my DH (because we have such highbrow conversation over lunch) and I was literally hyperventilating from laughing and trying to get the words out.

[raspberry]

Mylah that is hilarious!! I have such a 12 year old boy sense of humor ;) I kept reading the blog and there is an entry where she realizes someone stole her post. She had to call the website host and explain, when she had to keep repeating the name of the post entry LOL!!!

[missychrissy]

That was pretty funny Myles!

[Gwenn]

So next week I start testing kiddos again, and we have a brand new test that's the most recent version of the old test I could give in my sleep. Apparently 25% of the items are the same, 25% are brand new, and 50% are modified from what they used to be. The scoring and administration is all different. I have to learn the darn thing before Monday. Ugh. I wish I could borrow one of your kids to test. My co-worker, G, keeps offering to lend me her grandson and I'm considering taking her up on it - but since I'm learning the test and he's a smart little guy I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up with him as I check the manual after each question. Ugh, change.

[missychrissy]

I could set up an appointment for Conner to Skype with you I'm sure that would add yet another dynamic though.

[Gwenn]

LOL, Chrissy, I actually considered asking if anyone wanted to skype and have their kid (informally) tested. But I'm not sure it would work. Some of the items have materials, like asking the kid to open a box or put a block on top of something, and sometimes I have to do something with a prop and see how they respond, so I don't know that I could do the physical stuff I need to do.

[missychrissy]

Cramer would add his two cents and repeat Conner. That could be fun.

[Gwenn]

OMG, Chrissy, I want to test your parrot!!! LOL!!!

[missychrissy]

He'd probably climb up on my macbook pro screen and poop down the lcd...right over the camera. He doesn't do what we want. Ever.

[Gwenn]

Lol!

[Suja]

I think you could make some money off Mandy testing Cramer. I'd pay to watch that.

[raspberry]

LOL I wanna see that!!

I am a little behind on my Olympic watching but I am so happy for Gabby Douglas!! Love her 1000 watt smile. Is it just me or is the woman interviewer for the swimming portion a total moron? She asks the most obvious questions on the planet. I don't know who she is, but I ffwd through her. I don't know how I ever watched live tv in the olden days. When we were on vacay we watched it live and it was excruciating sitting through all the commercials and fluff.

[3andMe]

Shelley, your MIL stories just made me cringe. How awful. You and I and countless others could probably share a lot of horror stories about vacations with family. I don't go into all the details because I'm no sure I want to have it all on the web for legal and searchable reasons (that's another reason I think it's all slowed down, btw, since it became more public). Regardless, I never consider a vacation with family to be an actual vacation, no matter how pleasant the actual destination is. I hope you feel better soon.

Suja, I know you just wanted to share your joy with your friend's good news, and to try to spread the hope that if it could happen to her, it could happen to others.

Mandy, if you want to try to do an evaluation of someone, I could try to arrange it with any degree of cooperativeness that you want, from more to less. I can try to do props as well, if you let me know what you want. We have blocks and boxes. I bet it's not quite the same by Skype, though.

Mylah, that blog was hilarious and I also read some of the other ones. I don't think I could bring myself to read it to DH out loud, though.

We never see commercials. We got rid of cable a while ago, and only have Netflix now. The kids only see commercials in magazines and on billboards and on the computer if they see pop-ups. I hate commercials. I cannot stand watching tv at hotels just because of the commercials. We discuss them, and talk about how they try to make that product look desirable.

Yay! DH just got home. We have a weekend of parties ahead of us, too.

[Gwenn]

L, there's a lot of stuff that goes with this test. In this link it describes the materials needed toward the bottom of the page. I never know specifically which items I will need when testing any given kid, because I don't give any kid the whole test. If you have the energy to hunt down most of that stuff, we could try it if you're willing to humor me.

Suja, I am happy for your friend. I hope you don't take my not commenting before personally - I understood your intentions. At this point for me it's a bit of a defense mechanism to tune those stories out. I have seen STCers on here get pregnant that I honestly thought never would. When it happens it's amazing and special, but so far things that happen to someone else, not me. I hope that makes sense. You are right, it is necessary to know that good outcomes do happen.

[3andMe]

I think I have all of that except a rattle (although I have some maracas), a squeaky duck (although I have some plastic bath ducks), and a washable plastic bear (although I have plenty of regular teddy bears. What age and level of cooperation do you want?

[Gwenn]

Well, I can't imagine any of your kids would test low enough to hit the items requiring the rattle or duck, and if we did we could likely substitute any noise making toy with similar effect. I do test some 5 year olds but mostly at the end of a school year, and generally I give the five year olds a different test that has better norms in that age range. S is a little younger than the kids I usually see, but I've tested plenty of kids with a lower skill set than he has so he's probably closest to my target victim - er, client. But if you think he would be super uncooperative (which I'm used to) we could always try an older kid if they don't mind suffering through earlier test items. It would be a less valid assessment for the twins, though, if you are actually curious about the outcome, because I'd be starting with the younger items.

ETA: Oh, and the bear. I hate the new bear. Any toy will do that has the ability to sit or stand, I think.

[Bridget]

Myles, I was laughing so hard while reading that, and nursing Sawyer that he started laughing too. Then he popped up to look at my computer screen like, "Wth is so funny?"

We don't watch commercials here either. Just movies or series off roku. I tell my kids similar to you, L, that they just make it look that way so people will buy things and that we have to by very, very careful not to fall for their tricks. Same at the grocery store with all the characters on the cereal and such. I tell them we are way too smart to fall for their tricks trying to get us to by junk food by making it look like a toy.

Kai's bee sting was fine yesterday, barely swollen at all and now it is so big he can't walk on it. I'm worried. Is that normal? He was stung thursday night.

[Suja]

Mandy, I didn't offer up Mira because I figured you didn't need to see me follow her around while she said 'NO!' to everything and pitched a fit, or pretended you didn't exist. Cooperation and Mira are strangers. I'd be willing to give it a go if S turns out to be uncooperative, but my gut feeling is that you'd do better with him than with her.

[3andMe]

Bridget, this is from Mayo:

Large local reaction
About 10 percent of people who get stung by a bee or other insect have a bit stronger reaction (large local reaction), with signs and symptoms such as:

• Extreme redness
• Swelling at the site of the sting that gradually enlarges over the next day or two

Large local reactions tend to resolve over five to 10 days. Having a large local reaction doesn't mean you'll have a severe allergic reaction the next time you're stung. But some people develop similar large local reactions each time they're stung. If this happens to you, talk to your doctor about treatment and prevention.

Mandy, S. might be just as uncooperative as Mira sounds, (his latest trick is saying "Go away! I don't like you!" whenever I do something he doesn't like, which is frequently, an he occasionally says it to the twins and causes DD to burst into tears), but we can give it a shot. He generally does pretty well at the UC Berkeley children's lab studies, although those are short. I think you sleep later than we do here, but we have afternoon plans the next few days, so it will need to be before 12 today or before 10 tomorrow.

I don't know if any of you have read this article before, about teaching children to argue, but I think it's interesting.

[Bridget]

I like that article!

And thanks for the bee sting info.

[Cosmosmom]

Suja, your story about your friend wasn't hurtful to me....I like success stories of those who have struggled. I'm on such a different path now anyway. Even when 3 of the six couples in our adoption class/home study group ended up pg, i had a pang at first that it wasn't me but than was like well now they have to drop out so less competition for me! I'm very much an optimist so I wallow a bit about bad stuff (though I haven't had to go through anything truly awful before...hardest was DH losing his job and than the unexplained infertility) but than move on and start to figure out what steps I need to take to make what I want to happen, happen.
At this point,I would be thrilled to suddenly end up pg....would be nice to not wait to be picked by someone else or have to deal with an open adoption. But at this point adoption might be cheaper than giving birth since we have already paid a decent amount......and well it would mean giving birth which is one thing I don't mind missing out on.

[Gwenn]

L, I'm up. Let me know if you're around and want to try.

That article is great! Love it.

[Bridget]

Erin, how was the graduation? I have a little girl in my daycare who sounds a lot like Elle. We call her the little mama. She has a doll that she treats exactly how I treat Sawyer. She nurses, plays, talks and even steal Sawyer's clothes to put on her baby. Every time I get Sawyer a new pair of socks or shoes she sighs longingly and says, "My baby really needs new shoes too." lol

Shelley, your mil reminds me of dbf's mom. She has a very low tolerance for tantrums and misbehavior too. Although she comments to me all the time how she wishes she'd had my patience when she was a young mother trying to raise dbf. She resorted to hitting him a lot and I believe she carries a lot of guilt for that. I actually don't really plan to do anything big while she is here because I could see our normal outings being stressful for her.

[3andMe]

I am going to the grocery store and will be back and have the house to myself with S. in probably an hour and a half, Mandy. I have been dealing with potty training issues and poop on the floor and showers since I last wrote to you.