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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #34081
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I have family in Jacksonville, and the plan is that when Mira gets old enough to want to go to Disney, we'll go visit my cousin, and DH can take her, while I stay back. The thought of a bazillion people crammed into an overpriced amusement park to gawk at grown ups dressed as cartoon characters - that just makes my teeth itch. Mind you, I love, love, love, LOVE New York, and am so glad we live so close to all the Smithsonian museums, The Kennedy Center, Library of Congress, etc. Given the choice between some place with lots of people and some place with none, I'd always opt for the latter, though.

    ).
    When we went to disney, we actually didn't see that many characters. Or maybe we just weren't looking as it was an all adult group. We were more interested in the rides...and found that epcot was our favorite followed by mgm grand....we also planned it so we went in April, right after easter and most places spring break so it wasn't all that crowded. I cannot wait to go back but DH wants to wait until little dude is like 9 or 10 and will remember it. I want to go at age 2-2.5 and again later on. We will see who wins that one.
    DC/Williamsburg is high up on our list of places to visit.

    Funny enough I don't really like crowds either...but willing to deal on vacation. Daily living though, I much prefer burbs to city life.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #34082

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    I honestly didn't enjoy Disney much either. It was pretty boring IMO. Ky even thought it was pretty boring and he was the one who wanted to go. Luckily I thought of going to Universal Studios too and he REALLY liked Universal and if I get the itch for an amusement park that is not Cedar Point in Ohio, then I may consider driving the 5-6 hours to Orlando and going to Universal again. Even Elle liked it. But I highly doubt I will want to go to any amusement park other than Cedar Point. I hope to go in 2014 as Ky has never been.

    Suja if you do go to Disney just do like we did and go during late winter or in Sept/Oct as those are "low" periods and hardly anyone is there so at least you won't have huge crowds around you trying to gawk at cartoon characters lol!

    And Bridget I think the beating me down comment is pretty funny too. I am going to use in on DH! I am also an exaggerator at times and it is one of DHs pet peeves. Plus my DH is crazy aggressive in heated discussions, like if I were a random woman who doesn't know him and didn't grow up with a lot of aggressive boys/men, then I would be afraid of him and he could be seen as some sort of abuser. He will go on and on during conversations and I do liken these exchanges to "beat downs" but I call them "verbal tongue lashings." And so I can use another phrase to describe his overt oral aggression during heated discussions. He is also overly physically expressive in anger, his eyebrows move a lot, even the one up/one down, which I also think is pretty sexy lol!

    DH hates a joke me and my dad have where I will tell my dad some idiotic thing that someone said to me and DH and dad will ask "did he make that face?!?" Because DH has an angry/surprised face that basically exudes the feeling "you are a f*cking idiot" and it is pretty hilarious and will stop people in their tracks. Everyone in my family noticed "that face" when they first met him because he likes to start arguments about various controversial topics that most people don't care about in day to day life, mostly politics but sometimes religion, his main topics though are racial things - something I attribute to his being a native of Chicago, he doesn't say racist things against others but just can see racism in any media commercial or television show or radio program, his favorites to racially critique are commercials. You'd be amazed at what racially sensitive people like my DH find offensive on commercials, and after his explanations, you too would see the racism lol! And to make it clear it is not just racism perpetuated against black people that he sees, it is all sorts of racism - we have discussions about how people like him are the reason why "racist" and "racism" are losing their strength since he calls any and every form of discrimination, including gender discrimination at times - racist. If you don't agree with him regarding the racism shown in various commercials - especially commercials with black people dancing to hip hop music, like in many McDonald's commercials (he also doesn't like those commercials because he doesn't think too many black people who eat McDonald's all the time would be fit enough to dance lol!) then he will think that you feel that all black people do is eat McDonald's and dance! He also doesn't like those taco shell (I think Ortega) commercials with the hispanic people on them because he feels they characterize all hispanic people as eating tacos all the time and the fact that they speak Spanish in the commercial reinforces the stereotype that all hispanic Americans are illegal, non-English speaking "others" not assimilating in American society. He sees many forms of gender discrimination, especially against men (insert eyeroll) but I do kind of get his point in that many commercials men are portrayed as bumbling bufoons and after we talked about it, I now notice this in commercials as well so he has rubbed off on me in a way.

    Erin

  3. #34083

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    I have learned to be more specific and precise when he raises his eyebrow at me. He is very good at raising one eyebrow at me, and if he is really trying to make a point, he can lower that one and then raise the other one. I find it very sexy and amusing at the same time. Man, I love a good singular eyebrow raise.
    I remember as a child being mystified at the single-eyebrow raise - I could NOT do it to save my life! My parents told me that it was a gift to moms and dads and that I'd be able to do it when I was ready to be a parent. Lol, they backpedaled when I finally learned to do it at around 13.

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I'm back to not sleeping again. I remember vividly going through this last year. I don't know what my problem is but it's getting so frustrating. I'm terrified of getting exhausted again and missing work. I took a sleeping pill but it hasn't helped. I don't dare take another one.
    What do you take for sleep? I had tried many OTC sleep aids and herbal things, but the only thing that worked for me was the rx meds - Ambien or Lunesta, specifically. I always get sleepless when work gets really busy. It is just hard to shut down my brain once it really gets going.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    He sees many forms of gender discrimination, especially against men (insert eyeroll) but I do kind of get his point in that many commercials men are portrayed as bumbling bufoons and after we talked about it, I now notice this in commercials as well so he has rubbed off on me in a way.
    For some reason, my mom was always ranting about how men are portrayed as inept idiots in sitcoms and commercials. And yes, if you watch for it, you start to see it a lot. But if you start to watch for women portrayed as manipulative, controlling b!tches, or frivolous airheads, you see it just as often if not more often. Two effects at work - one, you see what you look for and two, that's what's funny. Lots of comedy centers on picking out certain traits and exaggerating them to the point of humor.

    Speaking of exaggeration, I do it a lot, but I try to make it clear that I'm doing so. So, for example, If there were 10-15 wasps all swarming around and it upset me, I wouldn't say there were hundreds, I would say there were a bazillion.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  4. #34084
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    Erin, you think it's a Chicago thing? My MIL noticed that moving to Chicago from Milwaukee. She worked in health care related offices that were diverse in both places....except in Chicago she said everything was about race to some of the women.

    I have never been to Cedar Point either but used to go often to Six Flags in IL. The thing I like much better about the disney parks is the detail on the rides...the decor, the robotics, the educational aspect of some of them....it's just so much more an experience. The older I get, the less I care about the mega coasters. And I strongly dislike waiting 2 hours for a ride...common at six flags....but disney kept us moving and even the lines were often interesting. Maybe next time we go down, we can hit up universal....just didn't have time for it last time.

    Haha, I tend to use bazillion a lot and DH is like, really? LOL He's a lot more literal than I am.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #34085
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    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    For some reason, my mom was always ranting about how men are portrayed as inept idiots in sitcoms and commercials. And yes, if you watch for it, you start to see it a lot. But if you start to watch for women portrayed as manipulative, controlling b!tches, or frivolous airheads, you see it just as often if not more often. Two effects at work - one, you see what you look for and two, that's what's funny. Lots of comedy centers on picking out certain traits and exaggerating them to the point of humor.
    I noticed that too and it bothers me because if women today were portrayed as idiots, there's be massive protests about it. I couldn't watch Everybody Loves Raymond (a show my husband loves) because of it. I like Seinfeld because at least all the characters could be equally idiotic from time to time. Even Elaine.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #34086
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    Oh, and Erin, as you know we went to Cedar Point (what, 2 years ago now?) and I LOVED it! I'd definitely go again. If you want, I'd be willing to tentatively plan a trip there at the same time you're going to be there so we could meet up.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #34087

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Erin, you think it's a Chicago thing? My MIL noticed that moving to Chicago from Milwaukee. She worked in health care related offices that were diverse in both places....except in Chicago she said everything was about race to some of the women.

    I have never been to Cedar Point either but used to go often to Six Flags in IL. The thing I like much better about the disney parks is the detail on the rides...the decor, the robotics, the educational aspect of some of them....it's just so much more an experience. The older I get, the less I care about the mega coasters. And I strongly dislike waiting 2 hours for a ride...common at six flags....but disney kept us moving and even the lines were often interesting. Maybe next time we go down, we can hit up universal....just didn't have time for it last time.

    Haha, I tend to use bazillion a lot and DH is like, really? LOL He's a lot more literal than I am.
    I do think the talking about racial thing is something related to Chicago. DH and I also discuss this as everyone I have ever met who are from Chicago are really hung up on race. If you all remember when DH was going for a firefighter job in Chicago (predicated on a racial thing even) and the main reason I didn't and don't ever want to move there is because of their racial hang ups. It is a weird phenomenon to me and it is also funny because people from Chicago, DH's relatives and the like think that Atlanta is racist but really if you live in the city, Atlanta is a very diverse place and you don't hear people talk about race all the time like my DH does. Also there are a lot of integrated areas of the city and even in bad neighborhoods like the one I live in we have all kinds of people who live over here and it is always strange to me that Chicago is still one of the most segregated cities in the country (last I checked it was #1, checked to prove a point to DH during one of our discussions about him talking too much about racial issues).

    And Jen if you like movies and shows/plays, you'd love Universal. They had a lot of parades when we were there as it was Mardi Gras season. They also had a Barney show that Elle liked. They have a Dr. Suess area for little kids at Islands of Adventures where the little kids can ride on cute Suess-themed rides. That was my favorite part and Elle still says "Mommy, remember when we rode on that ride through The Cat in the Hat" and will procede to tell me everything about that trip. She talks about it more than Disney. They also have some great design and the Harry Potter portion was unbelievable in how it reminds you of the book - really cool area there and if anyone is a Harry Potter fan they should check it out. Ride lines weren't that long either. Ky and B, DH's little cousin who's 12, got on every ride 10 times because wait times were 5 minutes or less. Waits were longer at Disney than Universal. The longest we waited was 10 minutes for a ride based on The Sneetches, an easy roller coaster which was also one of Elle's favorites.

    Cedar Point is a pretty huge park too and it has some of the best coaster in the world, but they also have a lot of shows. I don't think it is as artistic as either Disney or Universal but it is a ton of fun and is chock full of activities. It is also on the beach at Lake Erie and they have a water park and many resorts near it so it can be just as fun and exciting as Disney or Universal IMO. I like coasters and no place has coasters like Cedar Point. I went to Six Flags here in Atlanta when I first moved here and never went back because they were crap compared to Cedar Point even though they are nearly the same cost.

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Oh, and Erin, as you know we went to Cedar Point (what, 2 years ago now?) and I LOVED it! I'd definitely go again. If you want, I'd be willing to tentatively plan a trip there at the same time you're going to be there so we could meet up.
    That would be a lot of fun!! It will probably be in the late summer/early fall of 2014, August or September when crowds start to die down. I'd make sure DH invited a friend so I can leave him and hang out with you instead.

    Erin

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    Chrissy, I hope you got some sleep eventually. I have used Melatonin or GABA to help me sleep at times. I could send you some GABA to try out if you're interested. The melatonin is liquid, so I don't think that would ship very well. Just let me know.

    My DH is a mac daddy exaggerator. If he catches a fish, it gets bigger and bigger every time he tells the story. I, personally, have a tough time with him taking liberties with the truth because I worship at the altar of specifics (a reflex from my job), plus I take things so literally. But I've come to accept hyperbole as a lovable part of his personality. The only time his exaggeration REALLY bothers me is when we're arguing, and his version of events include distortions of the way things really happened to support his point of view. It's really maddening, and I've told him that it erodes my trust in him when he can't stick to the facts. Call it an "open issue" in our marriage, and we're working on it. Or at least I'm working on it. LOL.

    ETA: I had to edit the paragraph that was here earlier. Erin, on the topic of your hubby's hyper-awareness of racism, I'd posted the article about the racist tweet from the Greek athlete. I'd earlier said I could see both sides, but after reading this latest translation of her tweet (earlier translations I'd read did not include the phrase "at least"), I feel like it was undoubtedly racist now. I guess I didn't fully get the context of the tweet. For some reason, I thought she'd been talking about African atheletes visiting London for the Olympics and thought it was just a stupid joke, not about the existing African population in Greece. Moreover, it appears racist given her history of sympathizing with what was described as the extreme right-wing party in Greece, which I also didn't know about.
    Last edited by demigraf; 08-01-2012 at 12:36 PM.

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    Yeah, Mylah the exaggerations become a huge issue in our relationship to because he will say things like, "You ALWAYS beat me down. You NEVER let me discipline the children" and other such broad statements that lose all crediblity with me when the reality is that I say something to him about once a week for something he is totally out of line for in regards to the children and yeah, we all now know his idea of a "beat down". I also take issue with him telling the kids they NEVER clean up their toys or they ALWAYS back talk when the reality is they usually are awesome and he is just upset at one particular moment that they are being difficult. And to a child, that is straight up line as they don't have the blurry lines between truth and fiction the way adults do.

    I will be totally happy if I never go Disney world or the like. Rather be at the ocean and so far kids seem to feel the same. None of us like crowds or loud atmospheres. We have actually left a few library activities before they even started because it starts to get too crowded and both Savana and Kai will say they just want to check out books and leave. I am more than happy to oblige!

    It drives me insane the way the media portrays men as idiots on almost every sitcom. They also portray the wife as a total biatch. I used to like that show Kind of Queens
    and that show along with Everybody loves Raymond are the worst for that. Some children's books do the same. Berenstain Bears, for one.

  10. #34090
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    Erin that does sound fun! I would love to be able to take two weeks in FL next time and get to see and do much more.

    Bridget, when we did drive to disney, we meant to go to the ocean as DH has never seen one before but ended up running out of time....and on the way home we were going to detour a bit but the hwy was closed we needed to take due to grass fires so we just drove home. Wish we had gotten around to doing it but next time. DH did want to see the ocean and check it out but other than that, we aren't really sit on a beach soaking up sun people.

    I have to admit that I love Berenstain Bears. I was going to be a children's librarian until my prof for that class gave me a bad grade on a paper.....a paper about our favorite childhood book and mine was a Berenstain Bears. My paper was well written but the bad grade was for loving a "bad" book. No way could I have taken more classes with her.

    I don't really watch any sitcoms...haven't in a while other than like Showtime. Mostly I like hour dramas. or sitcoms from the 80's/90's.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    That would be a lot of fun!! It will probably be in the late summer/early fall of 2014, August or September when crowds start to die down. I'd make sure DH invited a friend so I can leave him and hang out with you instead.

    Erin
    :celebrate: WOO HOO!!! It's far enough away that there's a chance I'll actually be able to save enough to go!

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Chrissy, I hope you got some sleep eventually. I have used Melatonin or GABA to help me sleep at times. I could send you some GABA to try out if you're interested. The melatonin is liquid, so I don't think that would ship very well. Just let me know.
    Aw, you're so sweet. What are they?

    I didn't mean to ignore the PP about taking an RX (sorry, I forget who posted it. Work is a mess, as always). I'm terrified I'll be one of those people that sleep/drives or does something equally crazy. As it is, when I'm under tremendous stress I have a tendency to sleep walk. I do not dare take a drug that has that as a possible side effect. I have no clue if the two are even remotely related (have a natural inclination to sleep walk, and the actual experience of it while on those medications), but I don't want to risk it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #34092
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    chrissy I feel the same way about those drugs. I will try some nyquil or benedryl but nothing stronger. I have been known to sleep walk....within the past two years I have woken up in the wrong room twice...and once I took a sort of semi shower in my sleep (woke up naked with a towel and sort of wet). OMG, no way would I take ambien. Plus the reports of sleep eating...I am trying to lose weight as it is.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #34093
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    chrissy I feel the same way about those drugs. I will try some nyquil or benedryl but nothing stronger. I have been known to sleep walk....within the past two years I have woken up in the wrong room twice...and once I took a sort of semi shower in my sleep (woke up naked with a towel and sort of wet). OMG, no way would I take ambien. Plus the reports of sleep eating...I am trying to lose weight as it is.
    I saw that about the sleep-eating too. Yeah, no thanks.

    Did you see Nyquil has a new drug that's just for sleep? I'm curious about the taste. I always buy the gel caps and the commercial only showed the liquid form.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #34094
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    I actually like the taste of cherry nyquil. I just don't want to take it too much because of the pain reliever part in it.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Erin, that Ortega taco commercial is just ridiculous! I remember the first time I saw it thinking, "Is this what these people think Hispanics are like?" And to make my own sweeping ethnic generalization, most people I know who are enough in touch with their Hispanic roots to speak Spanish in their homes don't buy those nasty pre-made taco shells, anyway. I'm not the type of person who goes looking for racism everywhere, but that one hit me upside the head.

    Interesting about the Chicago/racism connection. I don't know (or know well, at least) very many people from Chicago but the one I know the best is one of the whitest people I know and in my experience I've never heard her discuss race. I do know she is fairly fluent in Spanish as a second language and has done internships in Mexico working with disadvantaged kids, so it just doesn't fit the picture in my head for her to be racist. But I wonder if, it being such a segregated city as you say, that maybe it's a black/white thing? I can imagine that in her case her upbringing was probably fairly privileged so she just didn't think much about race, but that probably isn't the same from someone on the other end of things.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I have started potty-training S. for real, now that I don't have any upcoming travel to deal with. He has been going when I ask him to for a long time, but he doesn't go when he needs to. So now I'm doing the extensive every 10 minute sit on the potty, cloth training pants, remove all the rugs from the floor, lots of laundry thing. He pees every 10 minutes when I put him on the potty. If I wait more than 10 or 15 minutes, he pees in his pants. This part of the process, and the next few months (heck, the next six months) of potty emergency-gotta-go-right-NOW! are going to be such a pain in the behind.

    DH is out of town on business. I'm staying up late as per usual. I'm still not caught up on all the stuff I have been meaning to catch up on, but I did balance my checkbook and pay some bills already.


  17. #34097

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    SCUBJIA to say that this room is the exception to everything I posted in the "is it coming to an end" thread in Random.
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  18. #34098

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Erin, that Ortega taco commercial is just ridiculous! I remember the first time I saw it thinking, "Is this what these people think Hispanics are like?" And to make my own sweeping ethnic generalization, most people I know who are enough in touch with their Hispanic roots to speak Spanish in their homes don't buy those nasty pre-made taco shells, anyway. I'm not the type of person who goes looking for racism everywhere, but that one hit me upside the head.

    Interesting about the Chicago/racism connection. I don't know (or know well, at least) very many people from Chicago but the one I know the best is one of the whitest people I know and in my experience I've never heard her discuss race. I do know she is fairly fluent in Spanish as a second language and has done internships in Mexico working with disadvantaged kids, so it just doesn't fit the picture in my head for her to be racist. But I wonder if, it being such a segregated city as you say, that maybe it's a black/white thing? I can imagine that in her case her upbringing was probably fairly privileged so she just didn't think much about race, but that probably isn't the same from someone on the other end of things.
    I agree with you on the bold. That was actually a commercial I noticed was pretty ridiculous as well. DH though goes on and on about such commercials and acts like no one else gets it. I even get his McDonald's dancing, hip-hop anger as well. Ky thinks I'm hilarious due to my commentary on commercials which with McDonald's dancing, hip-hop goes something like this as the commercial is playing:

    Here I am dancing and playing pool. I'm so beautiful. So are my friends. We are beautiful and happy and dancing because we are eating.....McDonald's.

    You too can be beautiful and a great dancer but only if you eat McDonalds....Ohhhh it is sooooo good, look at me eat this sandwich.

    Go to McDonald's. Be a beautiful, cool, hip-hop dancer...just like me.


    Ky cracks up laughing and any other of his friends/cousins when they are over and I do this. I do it with car commercials too. There was one that played during the Olympic ceremonies that featured a black guy with a split screen and some hip-hop music playing, on one side he was in the office and the other he was in the club and I basically stated all the above like McDonald's but also said "see, you need to get (insert car) so you can be a professional, proficient worker AND cool and get all the ladies at the club like me. Get a (insert car) oh yeah (in my Barry White voice)." B, our little cousin was cracking up and was like "Hey, that is kind of what they're saying." I have always done this because I think most commercials are pretty stupid and I like to point out how they are trying to encourage people to buy things making them think they will be a certain way, only if they buy that particular object in the advertisement. Due to my silliness surrounding commercials, Ky now is always telling me about how ridiculous a show or advertisement is and how they are trying to sell him something he doesn't need. I've always loved commercials though, but I just want to act silly when they're on, not get into deep political discussions about racial politics or gender politics (DH and I have good discussions though about gender politics especially because since he points out so many male discrimination features of various TV programs, I now do the same for him. Yesterday we were discussing how the men's gymnastics guys, most of them wear pants, yet female gymnastics athletes don't, and how that can be seen as sexualizing teenage girls and food for pedophiles).

    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    SCUBJIA to say that this room is the exception to everything I posted in the "is it coming to an end" thread in Random.
    I agree with everything you said there. I also like this room especially because we can discuss "controversial" topics without everyone getting all bent out of shape even if we have differences of opinions. Basically we can be adults and I like communicating with adults who actually behave like adults.

    Erin

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    LOL Dana.
    Seems like here is one of the more active places where conversation happens. I have seen a lot of slow down too....and really a lot of rooms are boring. And nobody seems to want to start much in terms of new and interesting threads. The lid is kept tight on drama...which is nice that nobody gets feelings hurt BUT it is a lot less interesting.

    Yeah my MIL has been living in Chicago area for almost 10 years and found that race was a huge deal there. That nobody could criticize (and these were always ladies in her office) the black women at all. For any reason or it would become all about race. Not that they were coming in an hour late or taking an extra 45 min or more at lunch....it was always racial even if others got talked to about the same exact things. And this was two different places she has worked down there. Very different from the women she worked with in Milwaukee.

    L, maybe S will surprise you and potty train quickly? He sounds fairly advanced and has the twins as a big kid example.

    On my happy note of the day...yesterday was weigh-in at work (after the class ended a small group of us is continuing to meet for a half hour every week). I was down another .9 so my total is 12.4 lbs. I am doing pretty good keeping track on WW this time around. I think that I'm starting to be able to feel a difference. I have never stayed on something this long or lost this much without using medication or surgery.

    Plus we have classifieds at work which is really nice. I have sold and bought a few things before. Someone was selling some cricut cartridges and I picked up two retired ones for only $15 each and they look like I could use them quite a bit. So I'm happy about that.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Cool, Jennifer. Scrap away!!!

    Dana, now I guess I'm off to stalk your thread in Random. I almost never leave this room. On top of my time constraints to post anywhere else, it's just soooo cozy in here.

    Erin, similar to your DH, my girlfriend teaches Women's Studies with an emphasis on the portrayal of women in the media, media literacy, facilitating the healing of distorted body images and promoting healthy body relationship. She blogs a lot on Ms., Elephant Journal and Jezebel.com. She sees misogynist subtext SO quickly. I feel like she'd be capable of finding something negative about any portrayal, whether it's of a strong female ("she is showing that women aren't comfortable in roles of power") or a weak one ("how stereotypical and helpless!"). Sometimes - particularly if the woman being depicted is a fictional character - I tell her to ease up, to let the characters be themselves, warts and all, just as we are in reality. But she is so focused at all times on the underlying statement about women as a whole. I guess it's good to have people out there to act as media police and raise awareness of the sociological impacts of the way groups are portrayed, but I personally wouldn't want to consume my media with her "glasses" on at all times. It would take much of the joy out of it for me. Plus, I still haven't figured out what - to her - represents the ideal female protagonist. She finds something wrong with every one.
    Last edited by demigraf; 08-02-2012 at 10:55 AM.

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    Chrissy, I'll PM you some links about GABA after I take the train into the office.

  22. #34102

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I agree with you on the bold. That was actually a commercial I noticed was pretty ridiculous as well. DH though goes on and on about such commercials and acts like no one else gets it. I even get his McDonald's dancing, hip-hop anger as well. Ky thinks I'm hilarious due to my commentary on commercials which with McDonald's dancing, hip-hop goes something like this as the commercial is playing:

    Here I am dancing and playing pool. I'm so beautiful. So are my friends. We are beautiful and happy and dancing because we are eating.....McDonald's.

    You too can be beautiful and a great dancer but only if you eat McDonalds....Ohhhh it is sooooo good, look at me eat this sandwich.

    Go to McDonald's. Be a beautiful, cool, hip-hop dancer...just like me.


    Ky cracks up laughing and any other of his friends/cousins when they are over and I do this. I do it with car commercials too. There was one that played during the Olympic ceremonies that featured a black guy with a split screen and some hip-hop music playing, on one side he was in the office and the other he was in the club and I basically stated all the above like McDonald's but also said "see, you need to get (insert car) so you can be a professional, proficient worker AND cool and get all the ladies at the club like me. Get a (insert car) oh yeah (in my Barry White voice)." B, our little cousin was cracking up and was like "Hey, that is kind of what they're saying." I have always done this because I think most commercials are pretty stupid and I like to point out how they are trying to encourage people to buy things making them think they will be a certain way, only if they buy that particular object in the advertisement. Due to my silliness surrounding commercials, Ky now is always telling me about how ridiculous a show or advertisement is and how they are trying to sell him something he doesn't need. I've always loved commercials though, but I just want to act silly when they're on, not get into deep political discussions about racial politics or gender politics (DH and I have good discussions though about gender politics especially because since he points out so many male discrimination features of various TV programs, I now do the same for him. Yesterday we were discussing how the men's gymnastics guys, most of them wear pants, yet female gymnastics athletes don't, and how that can be seen as sexualizing teenage girls and food for pedophiles).
    Erin - I think that it is so important that you do this with your kids. Advertisement is just insidious and, especially for kids, it is hard to pick out the underlying implications. Just getting them thinking and talking about what a commercial is really trying to tell them is, in my opinion, a critical foundation that will help them be smarter consumers (and just smarter in general).
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


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    Oh yeah, and WTG on 12.4 lbs Jennifer!! Whoo!!

  24. #34104

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    Gwenn, I went to poke around in Random and noticed for the first time that you were made a mod. They made a good choice in you! How did I not know that, and when did that happen?

    I never really had the time to spend outside of my own birth room (which has ported itself over to FB too) and this thread, so I can't really comment on things slowing down outside of here. I will selfishly just say that I hope enough activity remains out there to sustain these forums altogether, so I can continue to enjoy my time in here. Maybe I'll make the time to participate out there once in awhile to help the cause. Ooh, or perhaps there should be a concerted "forum revival" effort by the regulars to lure newcomers to Random from the most common APA entry points - i.e. Pregnancy and New Moms. "Operation Bring Back the Mama Drama"

  25. #34105
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    I pretty much never watch commercials. I DVR so much that I just ff though most of them. Or watch things on demand. Or if watching live, I often pause the show and will do something else for 10-30 minutes....the dishes, take the dogs out, use the bathroom, clean up after the dogs, talk on the phone....that by the time I get back to the show, I can FF though all the commercials until I catch up.

    That would really take a lot of joy out of reading or watching tv/movies if I picked apart all the characters so much. I cannot imagine what a perfect woman example would be. Whole conversation and I started playing that Meredith Brooks song B*tch in my head....love the line, I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one.

    I love love love reading....fiction almost always. But I found myself going crazy in lit classes trying to look for symbolism in everything. It just took a lot of the joy out of it.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  26. #34106

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Ooh, or perhaps there should be a concerted "forum revival" effort by the regulars to lure newcomers to Random from the most common APA entry points - i.e. Pregnancy and New Moms. "Operation Bring Back the Mama Drama"
    Lol, I love it!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    That would really take a lot of joy out of reading or watching tv/movies if I picked apart all the characters so much. I cannot imagine what a perfect woman example would be. Whole conversation and I started playing that Meredith Brooks song B*tch in my head....love the line, I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one.

    I love love love reading....fiction almost always. But I found myself going crazy in lit classes trying to look for symbolism in everything. It just took a lot of the joy out of it.
    I totally agree. After all, there is no perfect paradigm of a woman, why should we expect our television/book/movie/whatever characters to be perfectly well-rounded and not at all feeding into any stereotypes? And if they were, we would hate them because they were completely unrealistic and we couldn't identify with them!!
    D-Mama (37) D-Dada (43) and D-Baby (11/02/2011)


  27. #34107
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    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    Erin - I think that it is so important that you do this with your kids. Advertisement is just insidious and, especially for kids, it is hard to pick out the underlying implications. Just getting them thinking and talking about what a commercial is really trying to tell them is, in my opinion, a critical foundation that will help them be smarter consumers (and just smarter in general).
    Yes, when I was reading Erin's thread I was making a mental note to myself to make sure I do this with any future children. You can't start teaching critical thinking skills too early, and advertising is probably both the easiest and most important place to make sure that skill is there. Good job, Erin!

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Gwenn, I went to poke around in Random and noticed for the first time that you were made a mod. They made a good choice in you! How did I not know that, and when did that happen?

    I never really had the time to spend outside of my own birth room (which has ported itself over to FB too) and this thread, so I can't really comment on things slowing down outside of here. I will selfishly just say that I hope enough activity remains out there to sustain these forums altogether, so I can continue to enjoy my time in here. Maybe I'll make the time to participate out there once in awhile to help the cause. Ooh, or perhaps there should be a concerted "forum revival" effort by the regulars to lure newcomers to Random from the most common APA entry points - i.e. Pregnancy and New Moms. "Operation Bring Back the Mama Drama"
    LOL!!! I've been a mod since March. It was a month before anyone noticed (other than the other mods). I think you're the third or fourth person to ask me how long I've been a mod - in four months! I doubt anyone else has noticed.

    Oh, and PLEASE start a bring-back-the-mama-drama campaign!

    Dana, I really totally agree with your comment from Random, but my somewhat newly-made mod hat was getting a little worked up over it, honestly because I think since I've become a mod, there's been precious little drama for us to mod! Really only one thread I can think of and that wasn't of the proportions of other drama I've seen on here. But what I have noticed is that the forum members (myself included) have a tendency to self-mod, or point things out to others in a thread with potential to get touchy, to prevent drama before it starts. My mod hat appreciates it, but really we do need the ability to have high-level conversations among adults. I guess that is a skill not everyone has and it's sad. Let's circle that point back to Erin's teaching critical thinking to her kids. Start young, folks.

    Quote Originally Posted by dana_renay View Post
    I totally agree. After all, there is no perfect paradigm of a woman, why should we expect our television/book/movie/whatever characters to be perfectly well-rounded and not at all feeding into any stereotypes? And if they were, we would hate them because they were completely unrealistic and we couldn't identify with them!!
    I was thinking something similar. I don't know any perfect men, either, and the fiction I enjoy most portrays people (men and women) who are seriously flawed. Mad Men is a great example. The guys on there are jerks, and the women are various manifestations of pre-feminist women's personalities. No one on the show is an example of what we should strive to be in real life in every area (though I do adore Peggy). But it's a terrific show and I love watching it. I find moralistic stories preachy and boring. So why isn't it okay to write about flawed women?

    I can see her point with certain things that are just blatantly misogynist, though. That stuff is out there and I'm not defending it.

    Jennifer, congrats on losing that much weight!
    Last edited by Gwenn; 08-02-2012 at 06:46 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #34108
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    I had to tell you guys this. I had mentioned previously a friend of mine whose son was born the day before Mira, who struggled over 5 years and through 3 miscarriages to have her son. She has been trying to get pregnant pretty much since he was born, and just posted that she's pregnant again, another February baby. She is 43, and both pregnancies are the result of IVF.

  29. #34109
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    That's brilliant for your friend, Suja! My two kids have been sleeping brilliantly lately and I have thought to myself, 'I am glad we are getting through all the babyness phase of life because getting at least 6 straight hours of sleep at night is amaaazing!' My SIL, on the other hand, gets all sad and romanticizes having a baby. She's got 3 (her youngest is 18 months old) and she says she'd have more if she could convince her DH.

    Speaking of the SIL, we all went out yesterday with some other mums from school and one of them said something that annoyed me. We have a regular group of mums we see every other week or so socially, so they know us pretty well. Well, any how, we were at an event yesterday that was geared for kids Travis' age and up, so I had quite the time keeping Cash entertained and eventually had to put him in the stroller because he was so tired that he was starting to scream and cry when anyone tried to stop him for doing something dangerous. And this mum who has 2 of those kinds of kids that listen to her every word and never do anything naughty when anyone else is around said, "Oh, is he ever happy? Every time I see him, he is so moody." I just looked at her and gave her a look and said, "Really?" I'm proud of myself for not saying something like, "Oh, we can't all be lucky enough to have boring robot children, can we?" Cash is not moody. He's just a little boy who likes to try to push the boundaries and expecting him to be all right with being tied down to the stroller for so long is not realistic.

  30. #34110
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    Aw Ash. That was a very mean spirited thing for her to say! I dislike her already.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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