Secular Confessions

[Ky'sMom]

L so happy your camping trip turned out better than the previous one, other than the fatality, which would have freaked me out.

I will live vicariously through you ladies and your tales of camping for now. DH has been trying to get me to camp for a while and I did tell him we could go to a state park if we have the money this fall (I won't camp in summer - it is WAY too freaking hot down here for that mess) and I plan on renting a 2bd cabin. It has cable (which I don't even have at home) and AC/heat so I would be okay. Plus they allow dogs so we can take Bruno and not have to board him. That will be as close to camping that I will ever get for now, I did tell DH that in the future I wouldn't mind doing the RV thing, but they cost way too much to rent IMO as we considered RVing cross country to Las Vegas next year for our family reunion. I want to go to the Grand Canyon while we are there as I have never been out west and have always wanted to be a typical tourist and see the Grand Canyon. So I definitely am going to see it via a side trip away from Vegas, which I am not all that interested in anyway since I am not a big gambler. I do want to see Celine Dionne though and one of my favorite comedians George Wallace. I am worried I will be anti-family at the family reunion. It is DH's family and I usually don't have a good time at the reunions since I have to be resident babysitter for everyone's children since they think since I don't drink that I want to babysit all their kids for some reason. This year the old people can baby sit I am going to go do my own thing. This is why I like traveling by myself BTW, I would never do anything I wanted to do traveling with family, either mine or DHs because they have weird assumptions about what I enjoy and their assumptions are incorrect.

I have been too busy watching the Olympics to post much lol! I was so happy that Michael Phelps lost. I have always thought he was pretty vain and I hope Ryan Lochte will beat him in all their events if they go head to head.

Michael Phelps has won 14 gold medals BTW. I feel that is enough. He is going for a record number of medals this year to be the most decorated Olympic competitor in history and I am a bad one because I like "underdogs" so to speak and I would rather someone else win since he has enough medals.

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

Forgot to add.... I was so happy that 2 of my favorite 3 British hotties from the list I posted in Random were involved in the opening ceremonies - Bond and David Beckham. DH left the room when they showed Beckham and I got all excited lol!

Erin

[missychrissy]

I would rather someone else win since he has enough medals.

Erin

You crack me up Erin!!!!

Forgot to add.... I was so happy that 2 of my favorite 3 British hotties from the list I posted in Random were involved in the opening ceremonies - Bond and David Beckham. DH left the room when they showed Beckham and I got all excited lol!

Erin

I'm glad you missed my post about Beckham looking like a douche.

As for renting campers-yikes yeah! I looked into it once and honestly, you can BUY a camper for what it costs to rent one for a week. Just look on Craigslist. I mean, think about it. Most of the nicer ones are owned my retirees. That die. And their children often don't want them and sell them just to get rid of 'em. Even at a local camper dealership, you can get a really nice one for 2-3,000. Why would anyone rent one? In NY you don't have to have them licensed either, unless, of course, you're going to be traveling with it. And even then, it's only $100/year or so. Much cheaper to buy. I have seen them for less than 2,000...usually they're the older models but still haven't been used as much, so why not?

[Ky'sMom]

LOL about him looking like a douche!! No one anyone says will make me see him in any less light so you can douche him away.

Maybe shouldn't say that though because it has done of a bad connotation....

Erin

[Gwenn]

I have been too busy watching the Olympics to post much lol! I was so happy that Michael Phelps lost. I have always thought he was pretty vain and I hope Ryan Lochte will beat him in all their events if they go head to head.

I agree, and DH and I were both rooting for Lochte. It was so exciting to see him win! DH and I also watched the little "human interest" clip they did with Lochte showing him training and DH liked the way he was training so that made DH want him to win even more. And I agree about Michael Phelps having enough medals. Time for someone else to win.

And I thought of you, Erin, when I watched the Bond clip! I thought that was hilarious, by the way.

[missychrissy]

LOL about him looking like a douche!! No one anyone says will make me see him in any less light so you can douche him away.

Maybe shouldn't say that though because it has done of a bad connotation....

Erin

Whatever floats your boat! lol

[Bridget]

I just told dbf last week we should buy an rv and sell the house

[missychrissy]

I just told dbf last week we should buy an rv and sell the house

That was me & Rich's retirement plan. For real.

[Bridget]

Did I tell y'all that dbf got the job?? I'm so glad. We find out the schedule early next week.

So I have been keeping a time sheet, so to speak, of time spent with the children. I want to have a nice, non confrontational chat with dbf and have that to show him. He is always very irrational and inconsistent in his expectations of the children and then acts like I don't discipline them enough when he comes storming in here after a day of being away from them are starts barking demands. For the past 2 days while I have been with them for 13 hours (I am only couting time they are awake), he has averaged 2-4. So I think it's simple logic that he is going to have to understand that as far as the children's rules and expectations, he has to follow my lead. I know them better, we have our routines, my expectations are clear and unwaivering. We can go all day without tantrums and then he comes home and it all goes downhill. Last night he came home and I warned him right away that they were very tired so please tread lightly. But no, he starts lecturing Kai about something and Kai gets angry and tantrums and dbf acts like they are so awful. So I want to show him on paper how little he is with them and how it is not reasonable for him to expect that he is going to be able to have what he calls "equal say" and we are not changing up everything to meet his expectations for the very few hours a day he spends with them.

What do you all think of that?

[Gwenn]

I think it's a great idea, although the pessimist in me suspects it won't change much as far as dbf is concerned. But I hope he proves me wrong.

Congrats about the job! Does that mean he goes to Ohio?

[Bridget]

It means travel all over the U.S.

[Gwenn]

So he could base himself from your current home and travel? That's great.

[Bridget]

So he could base himself from your current home and travel? That's great.

Yes, totally. For now at least and I'm quite happy about that. I am not ready to move anywhere at the moment.

[Gwenn]

Yes, totally. For now at least and I'm quite happy about that. I am not ready to move anywhere at the moment.

That's perfect for you.

I start work tomorrow. I'm pretty much sitting here dwelling on the fact that my summer is over. I hate that I'm even doing that.

[Bridget]

Already??
I'm dreading school start. I like my kids home.

[Gwenn]

I know. It's ridiculously early. School here has always started mid-August, but they had a vote last year and everyone voted to add a 1-week fall break in October, and a full week Spring break in April (we used to get 3 days). So that meant moving the start of school back to keep the same number of school days, so the kids start Thursday and we start tomorrow. I don't like the idea of even being on school property in July! I am excited about fall break, though. Especially because there is no holiday or anything to do - just enjoy our time off. I love that idea.

[AmeriBrit]

I really like the school schedule here; every 6 weeks, the kids get a full week off. And then at Christmas and Easter, they get 2 weeks. Then, the summer break is 6 weeks. I am trying to cherish this summer break with the kids since I will be starting full time work once school starts back here on 3rd September. Travis will be going to school full time and Cash will be going to daycare 3 days a week and staying with his gran the other 2 days. I am so going to miss these days of being home with them, but when we have days like today where Travis was being a little monster of back talking and fighting with Cash, I feel bad for wanting to be anywhere but here!

Bridget, congrats on your DBF's new job! I think it's a clever idea that you've charted your time; let us know what he says about it! My SIL and I have both commented before about how it seems so unfair that our husbands are at work all day and then when they get home, they start telling the kids off for little things and we feel like it's not their place to do so since they've not been around through the day.

[Suja]

Bridget, congrats on BF's new job. I don't know about the time thing. It could get ugly if he sees it as keeping score.

We're watching wall to wall Olympics. I do want Phelps to win something so he sets the record. I like watching history being written, be it by Roger Federer or MJ or Bolt.

L, that sounds like a lovely vacation, the accident excepted. Wish we had places like hat here. I can't wait for my kid to be old enough that we can go hiking and camping. That's going to be a small window, where we're all able bodied enough to rough it. I definitely want her to be outdoorsy, not like a majority of the kids I know, who are absorbed in watching TV and playing video games, and do nothing outdoors outside of scheduled sports activities.

[Bridget]

Yes, Suja I do adore that about our life. We are outside pretty much sun up to sun down and I'm so thrilled that the charter school they are going to seems to have the same philosophy. All afternoons are spent in nature's classroom. Also, I do not want it to seem like keeping score because I'm not doing this to try and get him to spend more time with them. I'm beyond that. So I will clarify that in the beginning. I just want him to see that I am the majority of their lives so the natural course of things is that I will set the limits for the most part. I think seeing it on paper will make him understand that I'm not trying to control everything because I think he's a bad parent. I control everything out of necessity because they are my responsibility 24/7. He comes and goes based 100% on his wants and needs and our schedule is neither here nor there to him.

[missychrissy]

I think it's worth a try B, but I wouldn't be surprised if he finds some way to twist it around on you.

Sadly, a lot of what you described in that previous post reminded me of how Rich could be. I've often said he's used a sledge hammer where a thumb tac would do (in a manner of speaking) with the kids. Just last night I was over there and yes, there was something with Bobbie that had to be addressed. But the way he went about it was horrible and it resulted in her sobbing so hard she was gasping for air and ran out of the house in hysterics. It's heartbreaking to watch and I really don't know how to get him to stop that. I fear it's going to be worse without me there to be intermediary and cool him off a bit. I don't want to play the kids against him, but I did offer my place so Bobbie could have a break and cool off a bit.

[missychrissy]

Bridget, I'm not sure if you have a Kindle, but you can download the Kindle App for free from Amazon & there's a Gluten-Free cookbook available (likely today only) for free from Amazon. I posted a link and tagged you on FB if you're interested. It's just deserts & treats though.

[missychrissy]

Conner spent most the day with me and out of the blue he said he was going to spend the night. I'm so excited! I could almost shed a tear in happiness, except I'm 1/2 afraid he's going to chicken out at bedtime and cry to go home to daddy. I'd tell him he doesn't have a choice at that point, except the downstairs kids are sick and my bedroom is right over the daughter's bedroom. If Conner is really pitching a fit, stomping around, throwing things or being loud in any way and won't calm down, I'm not going to make the sick kids suffer through that. Keep your fingers crossed that he's ready!

[3andMe]

I think it's a great idea, although the pessimist in me suspects it won't change much as far as dbf is concerned. But I hope he proves me wrong.

Congrats about the job! Does that mean he goes to Ohio?

I agree with both of these. It will establish you as an expert, at the least, but it could play on his insecurities and feel like he might have to reassert himself as more dominant just because he has been shown to be not around as much and not able to be as knowledgeable.

Has anyone else seen this list of 50 things to do in the outdoors before you're 11 3/4? It's from the UK in case some of the wording is confusing, but I'm happy that my kids have done a lot of them already.

Climb a tree Roll down a really big hill Camp out in the wild Build a den Skim a stone Run around in the rain Fly a kite Catch a fish with a net Eat an apple straight from a tree Play conkers Throw some snow Hunt for treasure on the beach Make a mud pie Dam a stream Go sledging Bury someone in the sand Set up a snail race Balance on a fallen tree Swing on a rope swing Make a mud slide Eat blackberries growing in the wild Take a look inside a tree Visit an island Feel like you’re flying in the wind Make a grass trumpet

Hunt for fossils and bones Watch the sun wake up Climb a huge hill Get behind a waterfall Feed a bird from your hand Hunt for bugs Find some frogspawn Catch a butterfly in a net Track wild animals Discover what’s in a pond Call an owl Check out the crazy creatures in a rock pool Bring up a butterfly Catch a crab Go on a nature walk at night Plant it, grow it, eat it Go wild swimming Go rafting Light a fire without matches Find your way with a map and compass Try bouldering Cook on a campfire Try abseiling Find a geocache Canoe down a river

I cannot believe school is starting already. Here, with budgetary constraints, if they wanted to add another week off in the school year they'd just do it, not starting earlier. Oh wait, they've already done that.

And now, for today's funny, brought to you by my five-year-old son, who likes to tell everyone everything. We were walking down a path and he was excitedly mentioning things about his day to everyone he saw. DH told him he'd make a terrible spy. DS said, "Why?" DH said, "Because you are telling everyone you see about your day! It's okay, but spies need to keep better secrets." DS said, "I think I would make a really GOOD spy, because nobody would suspect a kid, especially one who says so much stuff."

[missychrissy]

And now, for today's funny, brought to you by my five-year-old son, who likes to tell everyone everything. We were walking down a path and he was excitedly mentioning things about his day to everyone he saw. DH told him he'd make a terrible spy. DS said, "Why?" DH said, "Because you are telling everyone you see about your day! It's okay, but spies need to keep better secrets." DS said, "I think I would make a really GOOD spy, because nobody would suspect a kid, especially one who says so much stuff."

That's so cute

[dana_renay]

And now, for today's funny, brought to you by my five-year-old son, who likes to tell everyone everything. We were walking down a path and he was excitedly mentioning things about his day to everyone he saw. DH told him he'd make a terrible spy. DS said, "Why?" DH said, "Because you are telling everyone you see about your day! It's okay, but spies need to keep better secrets." DS said, "I think I would make a really GOOD spy, because nobody would suspect a kid, especially one who says so much stuff."

He makes an excellent point. Lol.

[demigraf]

L, that accident you came upon sounds awful. I'm sorry to hear about that.

Gwenn, I agree about the men in Speedos. I love watching their bodies cut through the water. Mmm hmmmm.

I'm in Palm Springs airport again. DH, B & I spent the weekend with my parents in the Palm Desert. The place is growing on me. We had a pleasant time, although I've not managed to sleep more than 4 hours a night since Thursday, and last night I only got 2 hours of sleep. I'm feeling so rough right now. My flight was delayed, so I'm going to end up calling into a meeting from the cab ride home. I am tempted to take a sick day after that meeting (the effects of insomnia count as sick in my book). Even though I'm a consultant, since I work in San Francisco, my employer (which is in Texas) is required by city ordinance to pay me sick leave . I haven't taken a sick day yet. I desperately want to sleep.

Alright, boarding flight now. Hope this goes smoothly. Bodhi's been up since before 5am, so it's going to be touch and go.

[AmeriBrit]

Myles, get some sleep, friend!

L, I love the spy story. What a clever lad!

Chrissy, did Conner end up staying the whole time?

We went to play group today and there was a very, very poor family there. They had 6 kids and the 2 that were outside playing with all the smaller kids were absolutely filthy. It made me really sad for the kids and angry at the parents. I grew up pretty poor but we never looked filthy out in public. I mean, these kids had dirt all over them, snot covered noses, unwashed hair, and the little girl even had shoes on that were way too big for her. The mother never watched the little girl who was about 2 as she had the baby with her who looked about 6 months old until the little girl started pulling other kids' hair. I do have to wonder about people who have so many kids who don't even seem to enjoy having kids or even know how to care for them.

[missychrissy]

How sad Ash.

No, Conner didn't stay with me. At midnight he started crying for his daddy. But, it was close. We'll try again. And I tell myself, at least he suggested it. That indicate to me that he does want to stay over with me. For some reason, though, he's anxious about it.

[demigraf]

Oh, Chrissy. I can see how badly you want Conner to stay over. I'd want that too. I hope it happens soon, like TONIGHT for you.

Thanks for the sleep wishes, Ash. Bodhi is asleep, at least. He fell asleep literally when we were turning the corner towards our house. He was pretty good on the flight home, except for one outburst when he wanted to lie across me in the center seat and kick the window, and I insisted he switch seats with me.

While we were waiting on the runway, Bodhi was talking loudly and excitedly about things he saw out the window. "That's a fuel tanker! Those are some really interesting windmills!". We were conscious of the fact that he was loud, so had asked him a few times to lower his voice. "We can hear you, Bodhi. You don't have to shout." There was an older couple behind us. We'd seen them giving the gate agent a hard time because they'd requested an aisle seat a month ago, but hadn't bothered to check their seat assignments until yesterday, so they couldn't get their preferred seat. They were still complaining about it to the guy in their row aisle who'd gotten the seat they wanted. Before the plane took off, the older man started talking in a loud sing-songy voice, mimicking Bodhi's tone: "Why do little kids have to talk so loud? Why can't they just talk like normal people?"

I turned around and glared at him through the space between my seat & Bodhi's. I said, "Excuse me. My son is three. He's not trying to disturb you, and we've been asking him to quiet down." The man asked me sarcasticallly, "Oh? How old is he?" So I repeated "He's three". Then the man went back to the sing-songy voice, "Oh, I'm 3. I can be as loud as I want."

I whirled around to him again and said "YOU... are NOT three. YOUR behavior is absolutely unnecessary."

The guy started in with "Oh, don't tell me how I should behave..." but his voice was already starting to get a little sheepish. Then my husband turns to him and says, "Well maybe we should. You're trying to pick on a 3 year old, so who's behaving like a child here?"

The wife tried to give me a steely look through the gap between seats, but I just stared her down. They didn't bother us after that point.

[Ky'sMom]

Okay Myles, that old man was pretty ridiculous. I wouldn't have known whether to lecture him or laugh at his lunacy! Very crazy old man. Maybe he had some sort of mental problem or something.

I'm glad the airline didn't give you a problem though. That reminded me of a woman I used to work with who got kicked off a plane (after being stuck on it for 11 hours on the tarmac) because her son was pointing and laughing and talking loudly on a flight. It was national news. She was on Dr. Phil recently when they did a show about this topic. I remember when she was pregnant with her son and was shocked when I saw her on the news when that first happened.

Some people are pretty strange when it comes to kids. Honestly, I can understand when people don't want kids crying and running around a restaurant or other public venue but public transit or trains and especially airplanes are different since the parents don't have an option to take their kid out for a breath of fresh air or to the car or just to get a change of scenery and flights especially with loud kids don't bother me. Especially not loud children who aren't crying or screaming.

Erin