Secular Confessions

[demigraf]

Yeah, Shelley, I woke up and the first news I read this morning was about the shooting in Colorado. It's so horrific it's almost unimaginable. And the fact that a 4 month old baby was one of injured and a 6 year old was among the deceased.

Bridget, I was fist pumping there in "Helll, yeah!" fashion when I read that your brother fired that teacher. That woman needs some common sense mainlined into her veins.

Ash, that other mom's reaction was definitely over the top. Perspective, y'know? They're just very little kids.

Erin, that whole incident was hard to read about. I hope one day we'll get to meet so you can give Bodhi your talk about how there are idiots in the world and you just have to let it go. You are the master of letting idiotic comments just roll off you, so it must be even harder to see your son struggling with the same thing. But the fact that he has you as a great example and *still* struggles with just letting stuff roll off him is testament to the fact that he's still young and has big feelings and can't be expected to be in command of them 100% of the time. It's touching that he seemed to be most upset that someone was disssing his momma. Hooray for a new preschool for Elle. I have a feeling Bodhi would get along so well with her.

When B got dropped off at school today, it was just boys for some reason, and they were all playing "Monster!". B walked in the door and one of the little boys went up to him with an invisible cup in hand and said, "C'mon Bodhi, you have to drink the potion too so you can be a monster like us." It took Bodhi only a half second of looking puzzled before he smiled and yelled an enthusiastic "OK!". He went through the motions of drinking the potion, let out a mighty "Raaaawwwwr", and we said goodbye to a scary little monster instead of our son.

[Cosmosmom]

Bridget your brother did the right thing!

And I agree Dana, that sh!t stays with you. I had almost all great teachers. Except in 3rd grade when I had my very first asthma attack in gym class. I was so scared as I couldn't breathe and was gasping for air and the bleeping jerk gym teacher stood there and MOCKED me. Thank god I was smart enough to walk my little 9 yr old self out the door to the water fountain and once I could breathe, walked myself down to the principals office and told the secretary that I needed to call my mom. My mom was livid...as was the principal but they couldn't do anything because he had tenure. Second grade I liked gym class (different teacher)....after this I did just enough to sort of half-azzed try and scrape by getting c's when rest of my grades were a's. It's been 24-25 years.....and I still HATE exercise....it really is a such a chore to me. And after that was when I started to get heavier and gain weight.

[Suja]

Not that I'm justifying what happened in Colorado at all, but who in their right mind takes a baby (or a 6 year old) to a midnight movie screening? Something like Batman would be noise intensive, and I would think, not good for a little baby's ears.

Myles, B-Monster brought a smile to my face. Mira has been pretending to be a baby shark (it HAS to be a baby, not a big shark) lately.

Growing up in India has its benefits. There is no bullying. Pretty much everyone is equally miserable and focused on their studies to the exclusion of pretty much everything else. My brother was bullied when we first came here. He was 12, small and awkward, newly off the boat and going to a middle school in The Bronx. Got pushed around and had his lunch money stolen daily. He never told us, until years later, and it was one of his incentives for getting into Brooklyn Tech (which he also never told us he was taking the entrance).

[Smplyme89]

When B got dropped off at school today, it was just boys for some reason, and they were all playing "Monster!". B walked in the door and one of the little boys went up to him with an invisible cup in hand and said, "C'mon Bodhi, you have to drink the potion too so you can be a monster like us." It took Bodhi only a half second of looking puzzled before he smiled and yelled an enthusiastic "OK!". He went through the motions of drinking the potion, let out a mighty "Raaaawwwwr", and we said goodbye to a scary little monster instead of our son.

That has to be THE cutest thing ever

[Smplyme89]

Not that I'm justifying what happened in Colorado at all, but who in their right mind takes a baby (or a 6 year old) to a midnight movie screening? Something like Batman would be noise intensive, and I would think, not good for a little baby's ears.

I only heard about it briefly as I was pulling in this morning. I didn't know there was a baby (kids) hurt

[Cosmosmom]

Suja, I had the same thought about those taking infants to the movies. Or small kids to THAT movie. So many reasons, time of night, the noise....and the fact that the last Batman was NOT a kids moving. It was very dark and disturbing and scary.

But yeah the whole thing is awful.

[Ky'sMom]

I actually was taken to see the Star Wars Return of the Jedi movie when I was a kid at night. My dad popped a big bag of popcorn and it was REALLY exciting. I asked him for weeks to take me. I was probably about 4 or 5 at the time. A lot of kids love Batman and many parents will indulge their kids and take them to the movie to see it exactly when it comes out. Ky went to see the Amazing Spiderman when it came out at midnight when he was in Ohio. My youngest brother took him and 4 of my other nephews who are 7, 9, 11, and 14 years old.

I did hear about the baby who was injured and felt really bad. I have known people take babies to movies when they are really young as they feel they are less disruptive than toddlers and won't bother any one. I personally wouldn't take an infant to the movies due to the loud noise but 3 and up I may take to see a late movie. I took Elle to see Brave a couple weeks ago and it was a 9pm show. She LOVED it, as did I. We don't go to the movies often and when we do it is usually around 8 or 9pm show.

Erin

[missychrissy]

When B got dropped off at school today, it was just boys for some reason, and they were all playing "Monster!". B walked in the door and one of the little boys went up to him with an invisible cup in hand and said, "C'mon Bodhi, you have to drink the potion too so you can be a monster like us." It took Bodhi only a half second of looking puzzled before he smiled and yelled an enthusiastic "OK!". He went through the motions of drinking the potion, let out a mighty "Raaaawwwwr", and we said goodbye to a scary little monster instead of our son.

That is so cute It reminds me of when my brother took Conner to the park and he went right up to another little boy and growled and said, "I'm a t-rex!!" and the little boy instantly responded with, "I'm a pirate!" and they played the whole afternoon. The pirate and t-rex.

As for kids in the movies, I would have taken my kids at 6 to see Batman if they were into it. The time wouldn't have mattered either. Mine were never the kind that had to be bed at a certain time or they'd melt down. Well, my girls weren't. Conner is a differently story.

And the infant...I know I saw infants at the races before and they have ear muffs for them just for cases like that. We had some for Bobbie and took her to the 4th of July fireworks when she was just 3 months old. She slept through the whole thing.

[missychrissy]

I actually was taken to see the Star Wars Return of the Jedi movie when I was a kid at night. My dad popped a big bag of popcorn and it was REALLY exciting. I asked him for weeks to take me. I was probably about 4 or 5 at the time. A lot of kids love Batman and many parents will indulge their kids and take them to the movie to see it exactly when it comes out. Ky went to see the Amazing Spiderman when it came out at midnight when he was in Ohio. My youngest brother took him and 4 of my other nephews who are 7, 9, 11, and 14 years old.

Erin

That's how we grew up too...we'd get to stay up really, REALLY late and watch special-occasion movies. They are some of my most favorite memories.

[demigraf]

Not that I'm justifying what happened in Colorado at all, but who in their right mind takes a baby (or a 6 year old) to a midnight movie screening? Something like Batman would be noise intensive, and I would think, not good for a little baby's ears.

Oh, ITA! There was some amount of tsk-tsking from both me & DH on that account too.

I want to hug all your young bullied selves. It is so, so hurtful! I was on receiving end myself in 7th grade, so I unfortunately learned to dish it out in kind. It's a vicious cycle. I was in a Catholic K-8 and had been with the same 30 classmates for 8 years, so I think by that time, we were all practicing our aggression on each other. Thankfully, the bullying was short-lived, and I went on to high school where I became a "freak/geek", which suited me just fine. Following my tiny, sheltered, "provincial" little grade school, everyone seemed so much more mature to me at my high school. I don't believe anyone would have stood for outright bullying, but there was a bit of mean-girl attitude coming from a handful of girls enacted as a sort of a contest to see who could have the b tchiest attitude - unsmiling, withering, talking in commands rather than requests, that kinda stuff. I still encounter women like that today and they just strike me as rude and unhappy. For the most part, the popular girls at my high school were very nice. As an aside, I don't know if it was my particular high school or if this is just the teenage girl's experience of the world... but my high school was stocked with perhaps the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my whole life. I thought some of them were downright mesmerizing. There was some cheesy movie I saw long ago with Drew Barrymore that said something similar, like girls will never look so beautiful to you as when you go to high school with them. I don't know what made me think of that, but it was true in my case. I remember some other guy I met in a bar who was a little drunk, going on about how young girls' flames can burn so bright. Hmmm... perhaps I'm feeling old today.

[Cosmosmom]

Starwars or Spiderman are ones I would take a younger kid to see. But after The Dark Knight (which I thought was great....but I also could only watch it once)....it was just so very dark that I would not take a child younger than 10 to go see.
A late show is one thing but last night the shows didn't even start until after midnight. Which at 164 minutes long, you aren't getting them home until probably around 3am if not a later.


Wow just before lunch someone had issues down the hall from me and they called a code. It was actually just like greys where the person was on a gurney, no shirt on and they were rushing down the hall with someone kneeling on the gurney doing cpr. There was some yelling (not in a chaotic way but controlled and practiced way) and the person on the gurney jumped off, they yelled clear and zapped the person. I have spent 9 years working in two hospitals and have never seen anything like that....obviously know it goes on but not in front of me. I felt so bad for that person and keep wondering if the person made it. And just wow, to think about having someone's life like that in your hands like those on the response teams. I know what I do does affect care...but it's in a once removed way most of the time.

And than I have been thinking about those hospitals in Denver that received all those patients from the theater. How scary it must be to put those drills into practice. I know we have drills for mass casualities. Even though I'm not direct patient care, I could potentially be called from home to come in and put to work as a runner or recorder.

[Gwenn]

So much sadness in here today. For some reason, this time around the Clomid is really getting to me emotionally (I haven't noticed much of it before) and I've been having a very, very difficult time. I had my appointment with the RE today and some woman came with a friend and her 18month old child, who was running around the room, banging his head on the furniture, and hitting random adults in the lobby for no reason. Neither of the women did anything other then tell him "be nice" after he smacked some nice old lady in the leg - didn't even look at the woman or apologize to her - while the other one shrieked at the first in a loud voice about her kid keeping her up all night. The combination of super-crazed hormones and it being a fertility clinic and them not at least having enough respect to keep their voices reasonably quiet while complaining about their children just about drove me over the edge. When we got to the exam room, DH just sighed and told me I did "very well."

I updated about my appointment here.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh and I finally hit the 10 lbs lost mark this week. Goal for next 10 is by Oct 1st. Feels like a ways off but took me a bit over two months to lose the first 10....I'm a very slow loser.

[missychrissy]

Yikes Jennifer-that must have been frightful to see.

Yay on the 10 lbs though-that's great!

Mandy.

[dana_renay]

I once read somewhere that it is just slightly quiter in the womb than if you had a lawnmower running right next to your face. IDK how accurate that is, but I have also read other places that it is quite noisy in there and that little babies can take loud noises. I have seen babies sleep through fireworks and loud choir concerts (being held by a mama in the choir!). Maybe it wasn't so bad.

When I was 5 or so, my cousin came to visit and my mom and dad woke us up "in the middle of the night" (probably around 10pm, lol) and took us to the drive-in. I still remember the movie we saw was Willie Nelson's "On The Road Again". They only played one movie at a time, you know. But we really enjoyed the experience and the adventure anyway!

[missychrissy]

I once read somewhere that it is just slightly quiter in the womb than if you had a lawnmower running right next to your face. IDK how accurate that is, but I have also read other places that it is quite noisy in there and that little babies can take loud noises. I have seen babies sleep through fireworks and loud choir concerts (being held by a mama in the choir!). Maybe it wasn't so bad.

When I was 5 or so, my cousin came to visit and my mom and dad woke us up "in the middle of the night" (probably around 10pm, lol) and took us to the drive-in. I still remember the movie we saw was Willie Nelson's "On The Road Again". They only played one movie at a time, you know. But we really enjoyed the experience and the adventure anyway!

I believe that. Well, maybe not as loud as a lawn mower, but I've heard it's quite loud and the best non-solicited advice I got from an elderly lady in a grocery store when I was pregnant with Bobbie was to never, EVER change anything about your life (noise wise) because of a baby. Need to vacuum and it's nap time? Do it. If you do it from day one, they'll sleep right through it. That was true for ALL my kids. We talked in normal voices, allowed our doorbell to be rang, played the radio in the car at normal volume and everything. And yes, I even vacuumed. I don't remember any of them ever getting woken up by noise. But i did that right from day one.

[dana_renay]

I think you're kind of right Chrissy. If Dae is wound up, I find quiet helps, but any other time she can go to sleep and stay asleep through TV, vacuum cleaner, music, etc. Funny, the only thing she can't or won't sleep through is if DH and I start talking to each other. I guess she doesn't want to miss out on any important family conversations, lol!

[dana_renay]

Mandy - Sorry you were called on to excercise such patience, but I do admire your restraint. The hormones can really do a number, I know. Hang in there - your happy day is getting closer and closer. I just know it.

[missychrissy]

I think you're kind of right Chrissy. If Dae is wound up, I find quiet helps, but any other time she can go to sleep and stay asleep through TV, vacuum cleaner, music, etc. Funny, the only thing she can't or won't sleep through is if DH and I start talking to each other. I guess she doesn't want to miss out on any important family conversations, lol!

For sure! Don't get comfortable or try to have any important phone conversations. Those will be SURE to wake a baby up! Or 10 year old for that matter.

[raspberry]

Good luck with this cycle Mandy!!

I agree with keeping the house noisy with a baby, to this day G sleeps with white noise. Loud white noise.

I feel so blah today. Like I just want to nap for hours. Despite the heat, the heat index is about 105-gag-I think I should get out the house and run some errands.

[Ky'sMom]

Starwars or Spiderman are ones I would take a younger kid to see. But after The Dark Knight (which I thought was great....but I also could only watch it once)....it was just so very dark that I would not take a child younger than 10 to go see.

I heard that the new Batman (The Dark Knight Rises) is rated PG-13 same as the Spiderman movies. Ky has seen The Dark Knight (the one with Heath Ledger) even though I thought when it came out he would be afraid of it. He was 7 when it came out. He didn't see it until last year (he was 9)and he didn't think it was scary, but he has come a long way since he was 7. I will probably take him to see The Dark Knight Rises as Batman is his favorite DC Superhero.

So sorry Mandy about the commotion during your doctor's appointments, hoping for a BFP for you this cycle though!

Jen congrats on your 10lb loss!! That is great!!

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

Oh yeah a 6 yr or a 9 or 10 yr old are pretty different for movies. But I still think that the last Batman movie should have been rated R for the darkness and violence in it. I just thought that it was way disturbing compared to the older batmans. Or any of the other comics related ones.

I almost bought a crib yesterday. Waiting for amazon to drop the price back down a little bit more.

[Gwenn]

I agree that the last Batman movie was too dark for a 6-year-old. I know lots of 9-year-olds that could handle it just fine, although I probably couldn't have at that age. But if I had a boy who was into it, I'd let him watch it at 9. Not at 6, though.

I need some clothing help: http://americanpregnancy.org/forums/...post1058661434

Erin, my professional organization is having their annual conference in Atlanta this year (late fall) and I'm trying to convince DH I want to go. If I manage to afford it, we could meet up!

[Bridget]

All of this talk of ages for movies is hitting a sore spot with me because dbf and I had decided a long time ago that we weren't going to have video games in the house until the kids were around 7-8 years old. We said this after visiting our nephew who is 13 and doesn't want to do anything but play video games all the time. Also, I mean, we don't watch tv so I think it falls right in line with our values. For some reason dbf went ahead and got a wii to set up in his boathouse (read:mancave) and I didn't say anything since I assumed that he'd be doing that with the fellahs. Until Savana came home all excited that he got her some games. I gave him a funny look but let it go. Her and Kai played the other day for longer that I'd have preferred but I didn't say anything until after they were in bed when I just said that i was confused because I thought we'd agreed to wait on introducing them to video games. He said it was just going to be a rare occassion. Well then yesterday afternoon the kids went down to the boathouse and after about an hr I ventured on down to see what they were up to. Mind you it's a gorgeous day, finally not sweltering heat, and there they sit in the boathouse in the dark WATCHING dbf play a shooting video game. I was so annoyed. I told them both to come on out and we need some beading projects. They were both whining that they wanted to watch daddy play video games so I just told them I was very sorry and not trying to ruin the fun but their brains are growing muscles right now and they do not need to be sitting around watching someone else play video games. They are too smart and too creative to waste time doing that. That seemed to bode well with both of them. And as far as dbf is concerned, all I had to say to him is that he's a fake. He's always boasting to other people about how our kids don't watch tv and our kids don't play video games (which I never do, btw. I never talk about it outside of here because I think it's just ridiculous to boast about things like that) and then he turns around and pulls this crap. I swear, I don't even know who he really is. I know it sounds dramatic but really we discussed this and we agreed video games had no place in their lives until they are older. He is just not very genuine and it's so bothersome to me.

[dana_renay]

He doesn't share your values, it seems, Bridget. In theory, he agrees that it's a good idea, but he doesn't value it, kwim? He's doing what is convenient for him, which seems to be a pattern.

[Gwenn]

He doesn't share your values, it seems, Bridget. In theory, he agrees that it's a good idea, but he doesn't value it, kwim? He's doing what is convenient for him, which seems to be a pattern.

Yes, this exactly. He goes along with what you say because you are right (and you are!) but in his heart he doesn't feel it. So he takes the path of least resistance.

[missychrissy]

He doesn't share your values, it seems, Bridget. In theory, he agrees that it's a good idea, but he doesn't value it, kwim? He's doing what is convenient for him, which seems to be a pattern.

You said it perfectly.

Yes, this exactly. He goes along with what you say because you are right (and you are!) but in his heart he doesn't feel it. So he takes the path of least resistance.

Or takes the path that most suits himself.

I'm sorry Bridget. I wish I could help.

[Bridget]

Yes, this exactly. He goes along with what you say because you are right (and you are!) but in his heart he doesn't feel it. So he takes the path of least resistance.

Yes. That's perfectly said.
Is it crazy for me to say that sometimes I feel like he tricked me?

[Gwenn]

Not crazy at all. He certainly misrepresented himself.

[missychrissy]

tricked/manipulated. Kinda the same thing. And yes, he did. And does.