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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #33061
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    Tell me if you think this is strange. Today is the 10th anniversary of my cousin's death. Mom posted a message about it on her Facebook wall, which was perfectly nice. What bothers me is that my cousin's immediate family is all Facebook friends with my mom and could see the message, and they haven't posted anything about it themselves. I kind of feel it's their place to post about it or not, and if they don't want to I don't want to rub their noses in a post about it. What do you all think?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #33062

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    L, what about the Chabot Science Center (I don't know if I got that name right?) It sounds like something that's up their alley. Some other ideas:

    -Have a cowboy theme at a park; get Cowboy Jared to entertain.
    -Book something at Children's Fairyland
    -That farm in Tilden Park where we met up and fed the animals celery (name of which I can't remember)
    -Dress up like an animal at the Oakland Zoo
    -A "beach luau" party at Lake Temescal
    -A "swimming" party at Frog Park in Oakland - the little splash pond is only about 10" deep
    -A "wheel party" where kids bring their bikes/helmets and rides around a flat area. (Crown Memorial Beach in Alameda is good for that, and it has a nearby playground)

    Whatever you do, it save you loads of time if you order some pizzas and get a cake. I think that would keep just about everyone happy and the twins will be stoked.

    Ash - Oh my goodness. That is the stuff of nightmares! I'm SO SO SO SO relieved that he's ok. Of course, you shouldn't let grandad watch them alone. It's been a long time for them and they've lost their paranoid instincts that parents need.

    So guess what? I was going to work in the downstairs apartment during a 2pm meeting while some cleaners are here. (Having the house spit-shined as a surprise for DH). Took the dogs downstairs with me. Took my cell phone and work laptop with me. Forgot to get my little token generator on my keychain to get into the work network. With 2 minutes to spare before my meeting starts, I run upstairs for it... and promptly LOCK myself out of the room where the dogs, laptop and cellphone are. I had to take my meeting without any of my work notes in front of me, and all the while stressing about having to call a locksmith who'll come in time for me to leave in a couple hours. The dogs are ok. At least the apartment has a deck and they can come in and out of the ... omg, the deck! I'm gonna go run and get a ladder.

  3. #33063
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    Good luck, Myles! I hope you find a way to get in.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 06-29-2012 at 04:08 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #33064

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    Ash I was frightened just reading your post!!! So glad that Travis knew to get someone's attention, he is a great big brother!

    Erin

  5. #33065

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    I'm back in the apartment. Yay for ladders! The locksmith is no longer on the way. My dogs were completely unphased to see me appear over the deck railing. Now for the tough decision of whether or not to share this ditzy little mishap with my DH. I swear he keeps a list the stupid things I do in his back pocket at all times.

    Mandy, I think what your mom did was perfectly sincere, and a reflection of her feelings for your cousin, not necessarily for them. So I hope your cousin's family doesn't see it as having their noses rubbed in anything.

  6. #33066

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    OK, this just in from Facebook. (Am I really the one posting about the fact that TomKat is splitting up?)

  7. #33067

  8. #33068

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    I have breaking news. I finally bought soy sauce. And Myles, it's San J tamari NOT kikkomon. Sorry!

    Your story reminded me of the time I locked myself out of the apt when Savana was a baby. She was sleeping in her little moses basket and i ran down to take the garbage out, grabbing the wrong key ring. So I was on top of the truck trying to climb up on the lanaii when my elderly neighbor came out. He didn't speak english but he really wanted to help me. But I had really loose fitting shorts on and no underwear so i was trying to wave him away and tell him I had it under control. He didn't take my gestures to heart though and ended up giving me a boost. I was a little mortified but happy to be back in the apt with my babygirl.

    I have been thinking a lot about all the diets we've been discussing and realize I feel better, stronger, and more energized than i have in a really long time since I went gluten free. I wonder if eating it made me crave it because I used to have like 2-3 bowls of bran cereal almost every night. Either that or 2-3 pieces of toast. Now I feel like I eat SO MUCH but I am still somehow maintaining my weight. Like, this morning for breakfast I had 3 Nori ricecakes heaped with almond butter. That's a lot.

  9. #33069

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    I am such a nerd. I always feel sad when I read about celebrity divorces even though i don't even follow celebrity news and they pretty much ALWAYS divorce. They just look so darn happy in those red carpet pictures and I like to imagine what a charmed life they lead. The Johnny Depp break-up really got to me. If he wasn't going to be with me, I wanted it to be her.

  10. #33070

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Tell me if you think this is strange. Today is the 10th anniversary of my cousin's death. Mom posted a message about it on her Facebook wall, which was perfectly nice. What bothers me is that my cousin's immediate family is all Facebook friends with my mom and could see the message, and they haven't posted anything about it themselves. I kind of feel it's their place to post about it or not, and if they don't want to I don't want to rub their noses in a post about it. What do you all think?
    I don't know what to think about that. Do they get on fb frequently enough that they'd see it for sure?

  11. #33071

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    The TomKat divorce is a big topic with a lot of my FB friends. Katie is from my hometown and I know a lot of people who knew her. One of my FB friends used to date her in high school so he is joking about trying to get back with her LOL!

    I usually feel bad for celebrities in general because everyone knows all of their business. I don't like people I don't know knowing anything about my life, even some people I do know I don't want them knowing anything (especially the details of my relationship) about my life.

    And Mandy, I also think your mom was probably being sincere. I hope she was as well and that your cousin's immediate family won't be upset by it if it was done in thoughtfulness and good taste.

    Erin

  12. #33072
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    Mandy, sorry I don't know what to make of that either. Are you sure they saw her post?

    I tend to feel sad about celebrity divorces too, but I don't about Tom & Katy. He's such a jerk. I still haven't forgiven him for dumping Nicole the way he did (as if he owes me anything ) This is the first I've heard of it though...my fb friends must not be fans, or I'm not on as much as I thought I was.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #33073
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    The only reason I worry about it is because they don't get along well with my parents and seem to interpret everything they do the wrong way. It's a long story and has recently gotten even more drama filled. But my aunt did post something about her daughter a little while ago, so I know she was on and likely saw what my mom posted.

    I'm just rolling my eyes abouth the whole Tom and Katie thing. I pretty much agree with that gawker article, Myles.

    And Bridget, I'm just picturing you in your loose shorts climbing up to your apartment with the neighbor helping. Thanks for the visual!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #33074
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    I'm really sorry I wasn't your neighbor

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #33075

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    Tee hee! Sorry for that! I could never look him in the face again lol.

    So. The a/c is working. If the kids weren't so excited to see dbf, I'd still leave and go to my dads right now because i'm so upset with him. That was the plan anyway, that we'd stay there through the weekend since he has a/c and our was "broke". I talked to dbf about it at least 6 times and every time he said, "Totally up to you, baby. Whatever you decide is fine." So I called him today as he's on his way home and I asked him if we should go early and he could meet us or did he want us to wait. Suddenly he's all pissy about it saying that he really doesn't think it's fair for me to ask him to drive again after he gets home from such a long drive. In all fairness, he's been driving all day but I asked him several times if he wanted to do this! He's grouchy because him and his friend had drinks at the casino last night so he's hungover. Not my problem. Anyway, finally after he paints me to be a two headed monster for even suggesting he drive to my dad's when he gets home...he tells me to turn on our a/c and it will probably work fine as long as I turn it off at night for few hours and it doens't run 24/7. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME???!!!! He fails to mention this to me over the past few days as I tell him we are eating/sleeping/living in the daycare?? I can't even wrap my head around the ridiculousness of the whole thing. I was so upset with him. Then he told me his battery was going to die and hung up on me! So I called back and he picked up the phone screaming, "My battery is going to die!! Did you not hear me??" I was like so what you weirdo. Is it going to self detonate? At which point he hung up on me again. Boy oh boy I can't WAIT to welcome home this ray of sunshine.

  16. #33076
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    I could almost cry for you. The way he's acting is beyond selfish Bridget. How do you not hit him?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #33077
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    Ugh. So sorry.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  18. #33078
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    I told my dh about the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes thing and he said, "Oh, this is so delicious!"

    I almost choked. You might have to know him.

    I said "Did you really just say what I thought you said?"

    He nodded and said he was just getting into it for my sake, but hoped that maybe Katie would write a tell-all book now. That would be awesome. We both agreed she probably had to sign a non-disclosure agreement, though. I read him the Gawker headline and we both agreed with it.

    --------------

    Mylah, your birthday party ideas were so incredibly awesome. I was hoping you'd chime in. I fear I was just completely struck with party planning paralysis, having woken up this morning with the idea that I needed to do this RIGHT NOW and I couldn't even finish a sentence or a thought and my other idea of doing it ahead of time, like the weekend of the 14th, was shot down by my sister who has decided she might do a Bastille Day party. Now I just need to discuss with DH, narrow some ideas down, and fashion a guest list! Thank you! And thanks to the rest of you all for your ideas and encouragement. I'm feeling a lot better about this.

    ---------------

    Bridget, I would either be drinking some wine to fortify myself, or just head out anyway. Criminy.

    --------------

    Ash, scary scary scary! I'm so glad everything is okay.

    Last week I pulled up outside my house and was finishing up a phone call to my cell phone company (I need to get a replacement phone because the bluetooth isn't working properly) and the twins had been playing outside and came running up to my car. I rolled down my window and told them I was on the phone and would be in soon, and to back away from the street. They did. Soon after that, I saw Baby S. come down the steps. I was on the phone, so I assumed my mom was with him and was watching him. Then he dashed out into the street. I jumped out of my car and grabbed him, ended my call and brought everyone inside. My mom was inside, in the kitchen, and was upset that apparently he'd run outside when DS had come back in and left the door open. I didn't know they'd been out there on their own at all, or that she ever leaves them outside, unsupervised. She doesn't really, I guess, but had just run back to refill a water and was horrified about the series of events that led to a baby in the street.

    -------------

    Mandy, here's hoping your mom's post was taken in the spirit it was intended.


  19. #33079
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    Ladies,
    I am sorry if my post caused offense. I was not aware that I had strayed into a private area and I will not post or check this area again.

  20. #33080
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    3andMe is online now Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Janben,

    You have been a member here for many years, and I would send this by PM (I may still, in case you actually don't check back), but I think it's important that others see this as well. People are welcome to join in and post here, but we ask that you read the Sticky in the Secular Room ("Before you post in this room") before posting. I will copy it here:

    I have noticed lately that there have been a few new people posting in this room. Generally speaking I am very pleased to see that there are people who want to join our little community, but I have also noticed that there have been a few who have jumped into conversations with questionable motives. Now that the political room is closing I fear that we will once again see more people coming in here who feel the need to express their own opposing opinions and debate ours.

    So, I would like to humbly request that before joining in an existing conversation, could all those who are new to this room please take a minute to post an introductory message (either in this thread or in a new one of your own), to let us know who you are and a little about your basic belief system.

    This room was set up so that those of us who intend to raise our children without the influence of any supernatural beings, "God(s)", or organized religion could have a place to gather to discuss issues we face as Secular parents and find support. As a minority group in this country we may occasionally feel a need to vent our frustrations about things such as separation of church and state, or the intrusion of other people's religion into our personal lives, but those topics should not be viewed as invitations to those who disagree with us to debate our views.

    We do welcome all those who feel that they belong in this room based on their world views. There are ladies (and a gentleman or two) whose beliefs range from "strong" atheism to those who are not sure what they believe, to those who do believe in a God, but don't feel that traditional organized religion is right for them and feel more "at home" here. All we really ask of those who want to join us is that you please remember that this room was meant as a "safe haven", free from argument, debate and judgement from those who don't share our views.

    Thanks.
    You are welcome to come back, if you feel like you might fit in here, and all that we ask is that you let us know a little bit about yourself and your views. And I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I know if you just followed a link from new posts, you probably would not have seen the Sticky and may not have even realized what room you were in.


  21. #33081
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    I feel like crap now. Sorry janben.



    Conner stayed over. I think he asked to go home less than before. My childless cousin came over with her new boyfriend and I could see them exchanging 'looks' over some of the ways I handled Conner. She's always been very supportive of me and has often remarked on how great my kids are...so I'm a little miffed/hurt that because some new guy comes along she's acting like I'm not doing anything right. The stuff he was doing wasn't even a big deal to me...the 'worst' offense was he found a piece of my concrete porch and wanted to smash it against the sidewalk to bust it into pieces. Some flew over toward where we were sitting and I told him he couldn't do that any more because someone was going to get hurt. He whined a little and grabbed the big piece to do it again. I made him come upstairs. I didn't yell at him or spank him or send him to bed, and I think that's what the bf was thinking I should have done. They actually left right after that, and generally Melly stays till the wee hours of the morning when she's here.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #33082
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    Sorry about your cousin acting like that, Chrissy. I'd probably ignore that kind of behavior from her in hopes that she didn't keep doing that kind of thing when she's around with him.

    L, I love that your DH said that line about the gossip being delicious. I can just picture it in my head and your reaction to him. I mentioned TomKat's divorce to DH today and he was just like, "Oh, OK." I'm looking forward to reading all the gossip that comes out of it all. I am sad that they are getting divorced. I hate when anyone gets divorced, but I'm really curious about their whole situation with scientology and everything.

    We had a good day today that could have been disastrous, but we made it through. DH had heard that in a town not too far away that they were having a big summer fair with all sorts of things for kids to do, so he wanted us to go. When we left the house, the sun was shining and it was warm (well, about 65 degrees but that feels pretty warm to me right now!), so I didn't bother grabbing a jacket or cardigan. When we got there, literally like 2 minutes after we got there and were walking along looking at all of the attractions and stalls and stuff, it turned black and the rain just poured down. We ran in to a little arts/crafts area that was being run by some oldies who seemed very peeved that we were taking cover in their area instead of buying a painting. The rain lightened up after about 15 minutes, but it was sooooo cold after that and I felt miserable walking around with no jacket. DH eventually gave me his hoodie and my mood brightened a bit. Then Travis and Cash had a really good time kicking rugby balls and playing cricket, so my misery slowly melted away as I watched how happy they were from running around. They were both covered in mud in the end. And then we realized Cash had done a #2 in his diaper and he's back on to this phase now where his stools are very, very loose, so it was everywhere. We had to clean him up over by some trees. I am going to have to take him in to the doctors on Monday because he needs checking out, I think. He's always had these phases of having diarrhea like poo for a week and then normal and it's off and on like that since he was very young. Do y'all think that could be a food intolerance or something? Starting tomorrow, I am going to do a food diary for him because I know the doctor will want us to keep track of what he's eating in correlation to how he's pooing. I'm concerned about but it's never affected his appetite or weight, so I didn't figure it was a big deal, but he's starting nursery soon, so they'll probably raise it as an issue, so it really does need checking out.

  23. #33083

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    I used to be the biggest Tom Cruise fan. I loved most of this movies, and really thought he was great. Then the whole Oprah/Scientology thing really turned me off. I saw some of those youtube vids of him during that time frame and I am so done with him. Divorce is sad when kids are involved. But I wasn't shocked at all when I heard the news. Very few celebrity divorces surprise me. I guess at this point, if Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they were divorcing that WOULD shock me.

    Today was Gilly's birthday party. He had a blast playing in the pool. All around it was a good party. We have way too much food, like always. He went to sleep tonight holding his new Sheriff Woody doll and wearing his Superman shirt I cannot believe he will be four tomorrow.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  24. #33084
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    I'm right there with you about Tom Cruise and about celebrity marriages.

    I'm glad Gilly had a good party! What a sweet thought of him going to sleep with his new toy.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  25. #33085

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    Dbf has just been sleeping, sleeping, sleeping since he came home. I honestly don't know whether to be pissed off or worried.

  26. #33086

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    Janben, you make some valid points. I have a Canadian acquaintance who thinks that healthcare there's terrible and wishes they had American style healthcare there. He said the same thing about horrendously long waits for things that aren't life-threatening. I don't think there is an easy answer in eithere sustem, but at least in Canada a poor person has a chance to get seen by a doctor. Alternately, my dh broke a tooth off when he was in Austria and had it glued back on by a dentist before his friends had finished the round of beer! There's bad and good on both sides, and maybe one day we can get it right.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  27. #33087

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    Bridget - is he just really hung over? Or hung over and trying to avoid you as long as possible because he knows he was a jerk and hopes you will forget?

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  28. #33088

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    I don't know! They were drinking for sure but to bed early (his buddy is a retired old man and doesn't stay up late, just starts drinking early.) And it's 2 days later. I tried to speak to him about the way he was acting and he said I should let it go because he thinks I was the one being a jerk for "getting mad at him" and he let that go. Mmmhmm, he did. I didn't press further because that convo was going nowhere fast.

  29. #33089

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    Is your Dad's house still open?
    You could always take the kiddos there, but dismantle the air conditioner before you leave. Turnabout is fair play, right?



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  30. #33090

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    I am really kicking myself for not going friday night like originally planned. But now it's sunday and dad will be home this afternoon and likely need down time after a weekend with my brother's family. I let dbf convince me to stay by playing the "I've been gone and miss my family" card but he's been sleeping the whole time so what is the difference?

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