Secular Confessions

[AmeriBrit]

Mandy, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you here!

L, that's great you've been getting out more. Of course your dh should be all right with them. You're probably doing the best thing by going out in short bursts like that. My BIL made me laugh when we were on the cruise a few months ago. He is a business manager type person who is hardly ever home, so he doesn't interact much with his kids. Any how, we were all sitting in one of the coffee shop places and the kids were all being their usual nutty selves and he turned and said, "if they are always like this, then they probably need to be in therapy." We all looked at each other as if to say "this man has no idea."

Katy, I so wish I could come to your party!

Today is a rainy gloomy looking day. I think we'll go out in a bit to get Travis some new pants. I need to get these kids out of the house for awhile. They go stir crazy too easily.

Hey, I have a question for all the working mommas with kids in full time school. I'm probably going to be going back to work in September when Travis will be in school full time. For those of you who are in a similar situation, could you share how you handle the logistics of school drop off and pick up time. Cash will also be in nursery at the time. I'm wondering if you do the school runs or do grandparents or baby sitters help out?

[AmeriBrit]

Mandy, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you here!

L, that's great you've been getting out more. Of course your dh should be all right with them. You're probably doing the best thing by going out in short bursts like that. My BIL made me laugh when we were on the cruise a few months ago. He is a business manager type person who is hardly ever home, so he doesn't interact much with his kids. Any how, we were all sitting in one of the coffee shop places and the kids were all being their usual nutty selves and he turned and said, "if they are always like this, then they probably need to be in therapy." We all looked at each other as if to say "this man has no idea."

Katy, I so wish I could come to your party!

Today is a rainy gloomy looking day. I think we'll go out in a bit to get Travis some new pants. I need to get these kids out of the house for awhile. They go stir crazy too easily.

Hey, I have a question for all the working mommas with kids in full time school. I'm probably going to be going back to work in September when Travis will be in school full time. For those of you who are in a similar situation, could you share how you handle the logistics of school drop off and pick up time. Cash will also be in nursery at the time. I'm wondering if you do the school runs or do grandparents or baby sitters help out?

[missychrissy]

Mandy

I am having a birthday party in a couple of weeks and was wishing I could invite you all! Wouldn't it be fun?

Um, yeah!!!

Actually, one of my dreams is that some day we'll all get together somehow.

Mandy! FMU for you. Please!

Katy, you totally made me want to hop on a plane and come to your party. And then I remembered what a huge production it is just to go across the bay, and how I would have to take all the kids along, and how I wouldn't have any fun because I'd have to be minding my children the whole time.

Have I mentioned I have been going out for little bits and pieces a few times and leaving DH to take care of all three kids for a couple of hours at a time? I've done it like two or three times now. I took my mom out to brunch for her birthday, and I went grocery shopping one day without children, and I took my car to the shop and they didn't have a shuttle available right away so I was gone for two hours. He called me that day and asked how much longer I'd be. I try to make sure everyone is fed before I leave, and tell him what needs to be done, like if S. needs to start napping while I'm gone. One time he fed S. and didn't feed the twins, because "they didn't tell me they were hungry." They usually watch tv while I'm gone. He's been good about watching the twins for a while, but has not had to wrangle all 3 at one time for any length of time. I'm trying to get him more used to it. He should be capable, right?

Um, yeah. Rich & I were just having this discussion. Even he thinks men should be at least as equally responsible for their kids. That conversation started because someone at his work said he was going to 'babysit' his kids. Rich actually argued with the guy. If they're your kids, you're not babysitting.

[Smplyme89]

Um, yeah. Rich & I were just having this discussion. Even he thinks men should be at least as equally responsible for their kids. That conversation started because someone at his work said he was going to 'babysit' his kids. Rich actually argued with the guy. If they're your kids, you're not babysitting.

For sure!

I still have a hard time letting DH watch Nolan or take Nolan somewhere without me. While I know it's ridiculous I always have this little voice in my head that says "How dare you take time for yourself?!?!"

Not that it matters, Nolan would rather spend time with DH than me anyways.

[Ky'sMom]

I am glad that I never have felt bad about leaving my kids with their dad. He is very much capable just is not an into the kids as I am. I will leave in a hot second and tell him I'm leaving and not taking the kids and will go to a movie or something by myself. DH also doesn't think it is babysitting when a guy is watching their own kids, he had an argument with a friend of his about that, he told him that he's not babysitting, he's parenting.

Mandy, my fingers are also crossed for you this cycle. I know ever month when I wasTTC Elle my cycle was wonky and I usually have a very regular 30 day cycle. I know it is hard but I'm not going to jump on the POAS bandwagon. I'd just wait until you are sure AF is missed. Once, I waited until cycle day 34 to test though only to get a negative when like I said, I usually get AF on the exact 30th day.

Ash, I don't know if my situation with me working full time and kids in school will give any pertinent advice since Ky goes to the Boys and Girls club after school, they pick him up in a van and I get him from there. They have an after school program at his school but it was $55 a week and the B&G club is $35 for a whole year so I went with the B&G club. Next year the after school program is going to try and see if everyone can get a scholarship so that all our kids can stay in the same building, which would be nice. Ky likes their program better than the B&G club since the kids at B&G are "annoying idiots" to him except one boy who may not come back to the club next year.

Erin

[AmeriBrit]

Erin, that does help actually. I've put T's name down for a breakfast club and after-school club run by the local nursery that is connected with the elementary school. He knows all the people from when he went there as a baby. I'm hoping he won't have to go every day, but until I get a job, I won't have anything sorted! (I'm thinking I'll be working 3 to 5 days around the same school hours that he does, though.)

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy...hoping that it was just a little too early still.

I agree, not babysitting when it's your own kid. I will HAVE to be ok leaving little dude with DH. Nearest family is 5 hours drive away. I HAVE to work....I carry our benefits, I make almost double what DH does, and we moved to our city to follow my career. Could not afford full-time daycare either unless we made major changes (stop putting into retirement, nix the new van when baby comes idea, no more shopping....and no more saving)...that isn't happening either. So he's is going to have to learn to take care of baby and I am going to have to learn to trust him and not micromange his parenting. Once baby is a bit older, like toddler stage, I'm thinking we could probably swing part-time daycare so DH can get some sleep during the day and little dude can socialize.

[Gwenn]

Well, the test was right.

[girlwonder]

[AmeriBrit]

Ah, I'm so sorry, Mandy. (hugs)

[Bridget]

SCUBJIA!
Dammit Mandy. Dammitdammitdammit.

We left our house and are on a roadtrip. It was spur of the moment. Dbf might have his 2nd interview in ohio on sat. We have no idea where we're going or what we're doing but headed in that general direction. Long story short is that these scabies are making me insane and if we can stay out of our house for at least 3 days they won't survive.

On the subject of dads and kids, it was one of the big points of contention in the huge fight we had. He's angry that he feels he doesn't have equal say with the kids. I say if you want equal say with the kids then step up and be an equal parent.

[Smplyme89]

I am so sorry Mandy

[raspberry]

Mandy

[AbbeysMom]

Mandy.
Do you have any plan for this month's cycle with your RE?

Bridget, awesome idea to get out of the house as a way to kill the bugs! Hope your family has a fun adventure too.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh Mandy, big hugs.


Bridget that is a good idea. And hopefully you all have some family fun!

Yeah I can see it being an issue for me letting DH have an equal say. I can be bossy and micromanage so will have to be careful with that.
We had some fights over Poogie and training her but eventually found a balance between his strictness and higher expectations and my being more laidback and lower expectations. Worked because we got a lot of comments on vacation about what a nice girl she is and how she listens and how great we are. I used to think we just got lucky and Cosmo was just that awesome but now that we have done this twice, thinking that we are just really pretty good at raising puppies. Hopefully that translates at least some to raising our child!

[dana_renay]

It really ticks me off when DH ignores a problem and leaves me to do all the problem solving, right up until the moment that some bit of it becomes interesting or has some other impact on him. Then suddenly he wants a say, and wants to question all my choices. You can't leave all the tedium to me and only jump in when you feel like it.

Good luck on your road trip, Bridget. It sounds like a pretty good plan for bug irradication.

Mandy - :-( That sucks.

[Ky'sMom]

So sorry Mandy :-(

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

WARNING....nerd part of me coming out here:

I was watching PBS yesterday and they were talking about the cyber attack that our country made on Iran and I was pretty impressed!! It was the PBS news and they were talking about how republicans felt that the administration purposely leaked in the information to gain suppor during the election. I'm not sure about that but man it is som BAD A$$ stuff!

Massive Cyber Attack on Iran

I talked to Ky about it on the phone and it has revamped his efforts to be a hacker lol! He has asked me before do I know how to hack computers and could I teach him.

[missychrissy]

Mandy, I'm so sorry.

Bridget, I hope you have a good getaway.

I'm on my 2-10 shift for Reunion and last night I was sick. I had the fever/body ache thing that doesn't really do anything except make you feel miserable. Today I'm popping Dayquil every 4 hours to keep it at bay. I'm really hoping I can make it 'cause if I can't, someone is going to get stuck doing a 8-10. I also have 2-8 tomorrow.

We did Conner's K orientation this morning. He was so upset and didn't want to go, but of course once he was there he had a lot of fun and excitedly told us all about the songs they sang and the story the teacher read to them.

[Gwenn]

Mandy.
Do you have any plan for this month's cycle with your RE?

Bridget, awesome idea to get out of the house as a way to kill the bugs! Hope your family has a fun adventure too.

Bridget, I'm so glad you're getting out of the house. Take as long as you need to feel better.

Molly, my RE is taking two weeks off this month and said they will only work with you if your cycle starts before June 4. I'm okay with that, as I've been taking a cycle off in between anyway. Frustrated because I'm off work now, though, and it seems like this is time I could be making use of. Oh, well, maybe that will help tone down some of my clomid side effects.

[Cosmosmom]

Chrissy sending you stay healthy enough vibes!

Mandy, think he might want to try something other than clomid? Like maybe femerra? Or taking progesterone after the IUI? Have you thought about trying acupuncture? There is some stuff out there, mostly towards IVF but still....that it does seem to help things be successful. I did it a few weeks and was seeing some improvement I think but the having the lie still sent me into panic attacks so it kind of defeated the purpose.

[missychrissy]

We have some big speaker (Michelle Rhee '92) coming in to speak at Bailey Hall. She was supposed to be on at 3:00 but her flight from Newark was cancelled. Her driver took the wrong route here and it looks like the soonest we can expect her is 3:40. Watching the behind the scenes action going on, including the guy with the map up on his computer cursing the driver for not answering his phone, is pretty fun.

eta: two fascinating Cornell alums are Bill Nye the Science Guy (he's speaking this year too) and Bill Maher. Pretty cool. Bill isn't speaking this year but if/when he does, you can bet I'll be there.

[Gwenn]

Chrissy sending you stay healthy enough vibes!

Mandy, think he might want to try something other than clomid? Like maybe femerra? Or taking progesterone after the IUI? Have you thought about trying acupuncture? There is some stuff out there, mostly towards IVF but still....that it does seem to help things be successful. I did it a few weeks and was seeing some improvement I think but the having the lie still sent me into panic attacks so it kind of defeated the purpose.

Actually most cycles I've responded really well to the Clomid - 3 follies the first cycle, 4 the next, and 2 this last time. So as long as it's working I'm good with that. I'm wondering about progesterone, too, but he seemed to think my m/c last time around was just a normal m/c. I don't know why he feels so sure as he didn't look at my progesterone. I may have to get DH to ask about it.

DH actually goes to a lady who is a doctor of oriental medicine. She's a full doctor in China, but here she only has the DOM certification. She does acupuncture and herbs and stuff and has really helped his feet a lot. She told him I should come in and she would work on me. I know there's research out there on acupuncture, but I have such a needle phobia. We'll have to see.

[Cosmosmom]

I know I heard him mention cornell a number of times on his show. I heart him big time and am so glad we got to go see him live what was that two years ago now? I don't think it was last summer.


Mandy, I was wondering about the lining and the clomid...seems like I remember you saying it was a little thinner than they liked? Definitely make DH as about the progesterone. I mean I don't see why it not use it. Or at the very least check your numbers.
Give the acupuncture a try. I don't like needles at all either but seriously they are NOT at all like normal ones. Most of them I barely even felt and the ones I did, did not hurt. My only issue was I didn't like lying on my back....I'm NOT a back sleep and than I would start thinking about not being able to move for 15 minutes and than I would have to go to the bathroom and I was left alone in the room and I would almost go into a full blown panic attack. The days I got to lie on my stomach, I was fine. I am weird though, for years I struggled with IBS and the very idea of not having access to a bathroom will send me into a panic attack sometimes.
I would not mix any of the chinese herbs though with clomid.

[Gwenn]

My first month it was 5mm and they want it over 6. I've been at least 6.5 every month since, though. I think alternating has really helped.

I'll think about the acupuncture. We'll see.

[missychrissy]

Mandy, I have a huge needle phobia too-where I have actually passed out just being in the room when my cousin had her blood drawn. But you don't even feel the acupuncture needles at all. I only had it done once, but I didn't feel it. Just don't watch and I'm sure you'll be fine. You won't even know what she's doing.

For me, sometimes I don't want the dr's telling me, "Now you'll feel a little pinch..." It makes it worse. If she's one that usually vocalizes when she's doing the acupuncture, maybe you could ask her not to. You won't be none the wiser.

[raspberry]

Feel better Chrissy. I remember watching Bill the science guy with my nephews and nieces. I will need to get the reruns for G when he's old enough. Love Bill Maher, I always watched his show Politically Incorrect. He always had the best guests and topics.

Ash, I just noticed your in a van down by the river LOL!! Oh man I miss Chris Farley. That line from Matt Foley is a favorite of my family, and now I have gotten dh to use it too.

Last night dh and I finished watching the Hatfields & McCoys. I really enjoyed it, despite the violence. Sheesh those people and their shootin'. My point of reference for the H&M was from watching The Flintstones and the Hatrocks lol, so I knew they loved their guns. It's crazy how they let their pride totally consume them for decades!!

[AmeriBrit]

Feel better Chrissy. I remember watching Bill the science guy with my nephews and nieces. I will need to get the reruns for G when he's old enough. Love Bill Maher, I always watched his show Politically Incorrect. He always had the best guests and topics.

Ash, I just noticed your in a van down by the river LOL!! Oh man I miss Chris Farley. That line from Matt Foley is a favorite of my family, and now I have gotten dh to use it too.

Last night dh and I finished watching the Hatfields & McCoys. I really enjoyed it, despite the violence. Sheesh those people and their shootin'. My point of reference for the H&M was from watching The Flintstones and the Hatrocks lol, so I knew they loved their guns. It's crazy how they let their pride totally consume them for decades!!

I grew up in smalltown, AR with a few Hatfields and McCoy kids at school and their names always made me think of that whole history thing.

I miss Chris Farley, too; he and David Spade were one of my favorite duos on SNL. That line is a family fave as well as the 'lay off me I'm starving' line. LOL. Actually, most of my conversations with my dad are always riddled with a few movie or tv quotes; a lot of them are Star Trek ones, though.

[Inca]

Sorry I've been scarce lately. Actually non-existent would be more accurate. My mom had a heart attack on the day before my birthday, May 26th, and I didn't find out until halfway through the day on my birthday May 27 (Happy 25th birthday to me!). She then passed away May 30th, last Wednesday. She was only 49. We had a small memorial on Sunday where we rededicated a tree in her honor. It was originally dedicated to my uncle about 5 years ago when he passed.. Official cause of death was "cardiac arrest due to accidental drug overdose." :-\

[missychrissy]

Oh Liz! I'm so very, very sorry. She was so young!