Secular Confessions

[demigraf]

Gwenn, big squeezy hug and good luck on your IUI today. I hope for the best outcome here.

And thanks for sharing your thoughts on white lies. I do like a good scruples discussion and hearing how people handle these things. Honestly, I don't like having to put any sort of spin on things. I think the substance of my original question was if there'd be any way to offer my exact reasoning in a nice way such that she might learn about herself ...at least as far as how we felt she behaved badly as a guest last year. Doesn't sound like anyone here is in favor of that.

Sooo...last Sunday after my race, while B was napping and I should have been napping but couldn't sleep, I decided to whip up yoga shorts out of old t-shirts. The top one was the prototype I'd made awhile back. Sharing here because I wanted to share, but didn't feel like showing my "short shorts" on FB (some ex- might think I'm flirting with him ;)):



Happy Tuesday, all.

[demigraf]

BTW, I'm picturing myself using the phrase "I'm not able to host" (which differs semanticallly from the original excuse of "I can't have house guests" that we were discussing and yes is a little closer to the truth) and it sounds so old-worldy that I feel I'd need to be wearing a Jane Austen period costume for full effect.

[Smplyme89]

And thanks for sharing your thoughts on white lies. I do like a good scruples discussion and hearing how people handle these things. Honestly, I don't like having to put any sort of spin on things. I think the substance of my original question was if there'd be any way to offer my exact reasoning in a nice way such that she might learn about herself ...at least as far as how we felt she behaved badly as a guest last year. Doesn't sound like anyone here is in favor of that.

I am I just don't have a nice way to put it so I didn't contribute to the conversation. I would just tell her that she wasn't a very hospitable guest last year and that it is too draining for your family to have a repeat. I am a to the point kind of person, not so good with the sugar coating and fluffy stuff

[demigraf]

I am I just don't have a nice way to put it so I didn't contribute to the conversation. I would just tell her that she wasn't a very hospitable guest last year and that it is too draining for your family to have a repeat. I am a to the point kind of person, not so good with the sugar coating and fluffy stuff

Got it. Placing you in the "in favor of blunt, but not nice" column. I totally appreciate bluntness when it's directed at me because I can handle it, but somehow I don't see that accomplishing my overall goal of being able to have a helpful conversation about her daughter without letting her into my home with an overnight bag. We'd end up spending hours talking about why I don't want her to stay over and never get to the custody case.

[demigraf]

On your friend Myles, that is tough, especially for me because I would just probably be honest and say that it wasn't a great time last year but that maybe she and you can go somewhere special to hang out. Is she out of town? If so and she needs a place to crash maybe she can find a cheap hotel or something. I am getting to be horrible with making up excuses so most of the time just try to be honest in a not so mean sort of way.

Erin

Oh wait. Erin is in favor of it. Teach me, oh, wise mama...

[Ky'sMom]

Chrissy, poor Syd!!! As a mom now I understand my own mom's outrage and rage period over people bugging her kids. She did (and still does) get mini-rampages over people being mean or disrespectful to us and I would hold back a lot when I was a kid because I was so afraid of her going to school and embarrassing me. Luckily, no one ever told me to die or made me feel worthless. I think I am turning into my mom because just you describing in small detail what happened to Syd makes me want to go over those girl's houses. Mom's biggest threat to a kid was to go over their house! She only did it once when a girl threw my brand new, non-welfare glasses down the street that cost $200 and broke them and I don't know how she did it but she got the mother of the girl to give her money to get my glasses fixed and that lady was a big mean looking ghetto mama!!


L that playdate sounds wonderful! I hope you get to go to the majority of them sans Toddler S so that you can enjoy yourself. I bet the twins had a great time and it is a good way to familiarize all the kids with each other. I think I'll suggest this to our school for the kindergarteners.


Tons of babydust to you Mandy!!! Instead of triplets, think of twins! Lots of finger crossing and stalking will be coming your way!

And Myles, I am rethinking my reply to your friend who wants to visit. Maybe you can just tell her that her that an overnight visit will disrupt you and your family's schedule. That you have a lot of work to do (the truth I am guessing) and that you'd rather her not stay this time. Since she was so disruptive last time, maybe you could soften up those issues for her if she asks how she will disrupt your schedule.

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

Oh wait. Erin is in favor of it. Teach me, oh, wise mama...

Refresh me a bit with some of the issues and I can see what I'd come up with!!

Erin

[Smplyme89]

Got it. Placing you in the "in favor of blunt, but not nice" column. I totally appreciate bluntness when it's directed at me because I can handle it, but somehow I don't see that accomplishing my overall goal of being able to have a helpful conversation about her daughter without letting her into my home with an overnight bag. We'd end up spending hours talking about why I don't want her to stay over and never get to the custody case.

Yupp, I am almost always in that column!

One of my co-workers cousins died last night in a head on collision with a semi He was only 24. The pic of his truck is pretty heart wrenching
http://usf.wtsp.com/news/news/121863...-mcintosh-road

[Cosmosmom]

Christina...that is awful for your coworker.

Chrissy, glad that you and Rich are on top of this bullying with Syd. I am so sad for kids that have to go through all that. And for all of you that went through that. I'm seriously amazed that I didn't experience anything like that (I know DH did and that surprised me too). The worst that I got that I knew of was some stupid boy thinking he was so funny for calling me a whale in high school. Well I was fat so wasn't like it was a big shocker or secret or something. And I knew he was a stupid loser and would be one when we were done with school.

Myles, I wouldn't tell her that you can't stand having her stay with you. I think that would defeat the whole purpose of why you want to spend time with her.
Suggestion we haven't seen yet....but could you have her stay with you for 1 day or maybe 2 days tops....but send DH and B away together for a daddy/son bonding time.
Or you could get a hotel...even in your town since she likes it there...and just the two of you stay there. That way you guys can truly visit without having the distractions of your DH and B.

[Cosmosmom]

Does anyone know anything about whole wheat flour? I'm trying to get all the white stuff out of my life but have only ever cooked with white flour. I have a feeling that is a big chunk of my weight problems....keeping track I thought I was eating a lot of fruits and veggies but still carbs are always the most checks in the log. I could seriously eat pasta every day. And top it off my dads side of the family all pretty much end up with diabetes....and that is the side of the family my body tends to favor. So I'm working on trying to replace the whites with whole grains. I'm pretty good on bread but that is about it.

[dana_renay]

I don't oppose blunt honesty in any way! But with some high-drama people, it's just pointless. She doesn't sound like the kind of person who is able to easily learn about herself, no matter how nicely you offer your criticism. If I remember correctly, last time her behavior was pretty out there.

[Smplyme89]

Mmmmm carbs.....

I miss them... *sigh*

[Bridget]

ARGHHH! I am so annoyed. We have a family page for my mom's side of the family on facebook. It's for people to post events or share news. All friendly. My effing religious fanatic cousin (her dad is the one who did not come to my mom's funeral, his SISTER, after they attended the wake and had a conversation with the obviously homosexual man who ran the service...they suddenly had to leave) posted a you tube video called "Abortion. The Silent Scream." So totally inappropriate!
One of my other cousins posted that she thought this was not ok and I said agreed. So she then says she must have pricked "someone's" concience.

I am angry.

Jennifer what do you want to know exactly? I used whole wheat flour exclusively for years. I will say that since I've started using gluten free flours, I have lost 10lbs-without formal excersize.

[Ky'sMom]

Bridget, do you have a good bread machine gluten free bread recipe (lots of bread in that sentence LOL). DH read a book about eating for his blood type and now is all gung ho about eating only certain things, he cannot eat regular bread but his book says he can eat gluten free breads like Ezekiel bread and Ezekiel is pretty expensive in the stores (4-5 dollars). I got a bread machine to not have to buy bread so would like to make some but want to do it in the machine because I don't have time for kneading and will forget about dough in an oiled bowl.

Erin

[Smplyme89]

That's just odd Bridget. Why would that be appropriate to post there at all??....

[Cosmosmom]

Uggg that is so annoying of the family. I couldn't imagine being that stuck in my religion as be that offensive. Especially on a page that is meant for just keeping up, not posting agenda's.

Well I normally just use all purpose flour for cookies....which I'm not making right now....and pizza dough. Am thinking that I could get the pizza dough to be more whole grain but not sure if I should go half and half with it or just all the way whole grain. It's a pretty simple recipe...water, yeast, a bit of sugar and oil and flour.

[Bridget]

Erin, I have not been successful making a gluten free bread that we like. The consistency is just all wrong. We have not been eating much bread for that reason because the store bought gluten free bread it, like you said, crazy expensive. I splurged a bought a loaf yesterday to make hot pork sandwiches and the kids ate the whole loaf but for 3 pieces. That was an expensive meal!

[Bridget]

Oh, and I am lol'ing right now because my very liberal cousin's husband just responded to that post in the family room. I do not have a lot of love for him even though I agree with most of his views on religion and politics but I think he is a snob. He's always throwing his masters degree in people's faces. Gag. But he responded with:

‎" I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet." 1 Timothy 2:12

[Cosmosmom]

That is funny! I love it when the bible can be used against religious conservatives.
But that is annoying that he throws his education in people's faces. As someone who has a masters degree....it doesn't mean all that much and they aren't that hard to get (especially depending on subject area...most of the people I know IRL with masters, the degrees weren't that hard to get).

[dana_renay]

Bridget - How rude of her. Is there a group owner that can delete inappropriate posts?

Jennifer - I think with whole wheat flour, more water/liquid is needed. You'll probably have to experiment a little bit to get the texture of the dough right.

[girlwonder]

Erin - please post some recipes for the gluten free bread! We use Ezekiel bread, but I would like to try to make some too.

Mandy - today

Chrissy - any news today about those awful kids or that awful woman?

L - glad you had a fun playdate!

nm

[Smplyme89]

I honestly have no idea what going gluten free entails or the benefits behind it. I've heard it talked about a bit here, but that's the only time I have even heard of it. Guess I should do some research

My manager is one who likes to rub his degree in. It annoys me. He speaks in an overly educated manner to people who are not accustomed to it. DH refuses to sit with him anymore (we can only have loans and what not approved through him since I work here) because he said that he spoke to him like he was stupid.

I am saving that verse for future use though. I can think of a few instances where it would have stunted some of my more religious friends

[Bridget]

I didn't know anything about gluten free either and actually sort of felt like it was just a diet fad until I suspected that Kai had some sort of food intolerance. I started googling and reading about it and he matched several symptoms. It's all very interesting if you are inclined to read about it. I measured Kai against the pencil mark on his wall last night and he has grown about a 1/4 inch since we last measured. I've lost all my baby weight and then some, and oddly enough I have noticed a vast improvement in my mood. I don't even know when I'm pms-ing anymore. I was a carb junkie too. I could eat 3-4 bowls of cereal in a sitting after the kids went to bed, love love love peanut butter toast. Now I don't eat cereal at all and no toast for my peanut butter so I put it on a banana instead. We make corn tortillas, pancakes with almond flour, lots of muffins, scones, etc just with different flours. It's been a learning experience. Mostly I am just so happy that Kai is growing and flourishing. I just knew something wasn't right with him and no one would listen to me. I've read stories from men who didn't figure out they were gluten intolerant until it was too late and their growth had been stunted.

[Smplyme89]

I didn't know that it stunts growth?!?! I am eating very little carbs these days with being on Weight Watchers.... About 75% of my diet has been veggies and honestly I feel better. I have alot more energy too which is nice!

Reading the symptoms, if I didn't know better I would say that both Nolan and I have a gluten intolerance. We both exhibit a good majority of the symptoms listed. Although they are fairly broad so they could have nothing to do with anything. It is interesting and I think I will keep reading up on it more.

[Bridget]

You are right that it could have nothing to do with anything and they are broad. That is why I just decided to go for it and see if it made a difference and if it didn't then at least it was ruled out, you know? I went on a forum of mamas with children who have celiac and across the board they were all concerned that their child was not growing and dr's just kept telling them the child was fine. They went on the diet and the symptoms they were concerned about disappeared almost right away. I once had a pedi tell me to feed Kai more junk food when I brought a list of what he typically eats to the appt with me after he's been at 20 lbs for almost 2 yrs. It's not like I had him on a diet! We eat full fat everything around here so as soon as he said that I knew it was time to find a new dr.
The next pedi drew blood and tested for Celiac telling me it came back negative but come to find out you cannot get an accurate test done until a child is at least five years old. Next! lol we've had a lot of pediatricians.
And Mylah! I would love to use your monkey backpack if you are finished with it. I wish I could trade you something. Need anything?

[raspberry]

Good luck Mandy!!!

Bridget, have you found a good pasta alternative? I have looked into the GF diet, because I suspect Gilly and I may be intolerant. It seemed like so much work though(bad lazy mom!) and G is such a picky eater, I honestly don't know what he would eat if he didn't eat carbs. What are some of your meals??

[Bridget]

We eat almost all the same stuff we did before, just use different grains and pasta. Right now I am eating a peanut butter teff cookie. Teff is a very healthy flour from Ethiopia. We have brown rice hot cereal, rice and/or corn pasta and they also make quinoa pasta. You have to get used to the different texture but it's fine with us so far. I use tons of almond flour, oat flour, rice flour.
Bread is our biggest struggle, like I said. We have just not perfected that yet. So instead of hamburgers we eat a lot of tacos! lol. Corn flour is great for make tortillas and enchiladas.

[Smplyme89]

It's a good thing you did and I am glad it is working!! Better safe than sorry, for sure.

Celiacs is at least one thing I don't have to worry about Nolan having. He had all his nutrient levels and fecal matter tested when we were going through the Cystic Fibrosis testing. It seems the testing for both is pretty similar. The only thing that was even close to a concern was his Iron levels. They were borderline, but I have always had low Iron so maybe a family trait They've actually told me to never stop taking Prenatals, or to take a multi plus an Iron pill. I would rather just take one pill, so I just keep taking the oh so yummy pernatal

[missychrissy]

Mandy.

That's appalling about the family board abortion post Bridget.

I stayed home today. The school has pissed me off and I can't even talk about it. They deny deny deny and brought up some facebook posts and texts that have been exchanged between the girls...you know, blame the victim. Oh-the best part is the vp tried to insinuate that it was in part 'due to living conditions at home' I guess meaning that I recently moved out? wtf does THAT have to do with what the girls said to Syd? And I'm sure there were words said back and forth but my guess is whatever Syd said wasn't that bad because she didn't quote them to me. Besides that, what did she think was going on? These girls would needle her and Syd would sit there like a deaf mute and take it? Because that's the impression I get. They 'discussed with Sydney' the appropriate ways of handling stuff and gave her the toll free number to the suicide help line if it happened again after 3:30. No clearer way to tell a 13-year-old, "We don't give a **** about you. If it's after hours, don't call us."

I hate them on a level that is scaring me.

I stayed home today because my cold sore is so huge and ***** and ugly. It's swelled so much I can actually look down and see my lip. If it's still this bad tomorrow, I'm staying home then too.

[Bridget]

Christine, just so you know, in all my research i have learned that Celiac is a disease that cannot be detected until at least aged 5.

Chrissy, I am enraged and shocked with the way the school is handling this.