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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #31411
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    Bridget yeah!!!!!!!!

    never had japanese food before. or avocado. I do not do seafood or fish except maybe once in a great while I can tolerate a beer battered fish fry. Well at least i eat veggies now.

    Welcome back Ashley!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #31412
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    Chrissy depression has always presented itself to me in a form of 'nothingness' it is an awful way to feel
    If your therapist Erin is even half as talented as our Erin, you are in good hands!
    I agree with you about Jesi, for some it takes hitting 'rock bottom'. My brother is one of those and I've seen him spiral and hit bottom SO many times. Someone always picks him up though (not any of us obviously) and eventually I know he will run out of people who are willing to do that..... What can you do....

    Ash can't wait to hear about!! Color me jeaous

    I hate when new recipes do not come out as good as I thought. It always takes some investigating to see if it was me or the recipe I've been trying alot of new ones since I've been on WW, most have been hits, but we've had a few duds too!

    Bridget congrats on Charter

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  3. #31413
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    Oh and totally random yay me post....

    I got a 90 on one Final and a 100 on the other Final! Giving me A's in both classes

    OK. I'm done now

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  4. #31414

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    Yah for the charter school!!! And yay for A's in your classes!!

    I grew up on mostly homemade food with some boxed/packaged stuff thrown in. We didn't have a lot of money and my dad hunted, so my mom had to come up with 1001 ways to cook venison! We never really had ethnic food though, except chinese. Mostly because there weren't any ethnic restaurants nearby. Now my favorite foods are sushi, vietnamese, thai, etc. We eat very little pre packaged food in our house now. Mostly things like organic jarred spaghetti sauce or organic boxed risotto as a side. I do have to take some short cuts because we both work full time and I don't want to spend my weekends cooking food for the week. But we eat very healthy. I love me some wasabi, but a whole chunk, wowza!!
    AKA Lisa724

  5. #31415
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Oh and totally random yay me post....

    I got a 90 on one Final and a 100 on the other Final! Giving me A's in both classes

    OK. I'm done now
    That's wonderful!! Congratulations!!

    I am feeling kinda bad about one thing. Last night when I went to my therapy appointment (at the office I used to work at) one of my former coworkers spontaneously told me how proud she was of me, but that she was jealous too. She had always been jealous of how smart I was with the computer and when I went to school how ambitious I was. I was totally surprised and didn't know what to say. I certainly don't feel particularly smart or ambitious and I'd think I'm one of the last people anyone should ever feel jealous over. It's making me sad because she's such a dear sweetheart and I hate to think of her comparing herself to me and coming up short in her self-assessment. I'm trying to think of something nice I can say to her about it but I'm drawing a blank...mostly because I'm still so surprised.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #31416

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    I understand your feelings about your former co-worker Chrissy. I had a conversation with my mom recently regarding my brother. She said he is jealous of me. And I was like WHY!!! I told her I should call him and tell him to come pick up some kids and clean and move non-stop for one of my days and then see if he was still jealous. Mom said it was basically because I did and do things that I want to do - like going back to school. Moving here to Atlanta. Getting ready for grad school (I am looking to go get my Master's if not this upcoming spring semester then fall of 13) buying a house, getting along decently with my SO (my brother has a horrible track record with women). And other things that I didn't think were all that big of a deal. But to someone else, it is, especially when you achieve something that you set out to do. I have realized that a lot of people, unfortunately, never even attempt their dreams or even just a minor goal that may change their lives for the better because they feel stuck or just don't think they are good enough.

    I can see how your co-worker saw you as someone to look up to just by the things you share here in regards to being a teen mom and doing everything you could to salvage your marriage and look out for your kids and through all those years you even took the time to go back to school and land a job in what is actually a career that you wanted and worked toward accomplishing. That is something. Many people don't do what you have done so her view of you isn't surprising.

    Bridget congrats on the charter school!!! I hope you all have a wonderful experience like we have had with ours. I am really excited for both you and Savana!

    Welcome back Ash. I thought of you when I was on my cruise.

    Erin

  7. #31417

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    I'm sorry, Chrissy.

    Bridget- yay!

    Food- yum! I am not terribly adventurous. I won't eat fried grasshoppers or sweetbreads, peppers or zucchini or squash. Blech.

  8. #31418

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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    sorry you are depressed or numb, just not your self Chrissy. I hope Jesi calls you today.

    Hope little Sawyer feels better. yay for getting into the charter school, that is great news!

    All the shaving talk reminds me how much I would love to have lazer hair removal LOL. Little scared of the pain, but it would be nice not have to shave.

    I used to be a picky eater, food not touching, rarely tried anything new. But since meeting dh I have tried so many different foods. When I had my eye surgery complications, my dh and I ate our way through South Africa. Not much to do when you can't see, but eat eat eat!
    I didn't realize laser hair removal was painful! Makes me rethinking getting it done, although it would be nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Hi Ash! I can't wait to hear all about it!!


    Jesi wrote me briefly on FB. She's asking for $10 for food. Already. I'll do it this time, but it's not going to be a habit. If she asks again, I'll tell her there's plenty of food at home. I want her to fully fail though so that's why I'm doing it this time. Well, not fail but you know what I mean. I want her to see the merit, of her own accord, of sticking it out at home at least till she graduates high school.
    I understand that. She probably takes a lot of it for granted right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Hey, y'all! I'm back from the cruise; will try to catch up with ya's tonight when the kids are in bed. I'm currently cooking supper and have started on the mountain of laundry! I'll speak to y'all soon and hope everyone is well! xoxo
    Welcome back! Hope you had a nice time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    We got into the charter school! I am so thrilled.
    Congrats!

    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Oh and totally random yay me post....

    I got a 90 on one Final and a 100 on the other Final! Giving me A's in both classes

    OK. I'm done now
    Congrats!
    Don't be shy about sharing achievements here...it doesn't all have to be heavy stuff!

  9. #31419
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    I think that often it's easy to be jealous of others and probably most people. it's easy to look at others and see what they have that you don't. I'm jealous of my bff...she's got two beautiful daughters. But than I know she looks at me and sees the nice house and the career that I love and is a good fit for me and wishes she had those things.


    Umm Katy....that one time you posted that fancy dinner and i didn't even know what most of the stuff was.....I would say you are fairly food adventurous!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #31420
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    Chrissy I think you are someone to admire, you've accomplished alot in your life, and through many hurdles.

    Erin my brother is the same way. He's expressed it to me a number of times. I always tell him that I am not doing anything that he isn't capable of doing if he puts his mind too it. He of course doesn't beieve me and continues his self destructive path

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  11. #31421

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    Forgot to do a boogie woogie about your A's Christina!! Congratulations!!!

    And Jen I can't believe you didn't have tacos for so long. I thought I grew up with bland food but the more I talk to my DH about his food growing up, the more I learn that we had a pretty decent variety. My older brother worked at Taco Bell as his first job and he told us about the "fake meat" that they use and would even bring home bags of it and cheese. We ate a lot of tacos when I was a kid because it was an easy meal. We also ate pizza from Little Ceasars every Friday and pork chops every Thursday and hamburgers every Monday. The other days we usually at chicken, mostly chicken leg quarters and my mom was stereotypical and fried our chicken pretty much all the time except when she barbequed it in the summer. She did love fish though and my step-grandfather was an avid fisherman so we got a lot of bass and walleye to eat. She also would go to the State Line Liquor Store and get fish, they had a fish counter in the liquor store maybe once every few months, she usually broiled the fish and it was delicious. I still love fish and will be making baked breaded fish and chips for dinner today.

    When I got older mom got really into saving money when my brothers were growin (hungry boys will eat you out of house and home). She would go to a farm in Elmore Ohio and buy a whole pig and sausage. She also would order salmon from some place where they basically would ship you frozen or smoked salmon for not too much money. She also loved chinese food, especially almond chicken and there was a really good restaurant that she'd get some from maybe twice a year when I was older, between 10 and 14, when she started making decent money.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 05-02-2012 at 01:50 PM.

  12. #31422

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    Erin, so is it really fake meat at Taco Bell? I know they denied it up and down, of course.

  13. #31423
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    Yup my dad is super super picky and therefore my sister and grew up that way. Mom tried but we were not good and she gave up making many different meals every night. And we were often lacking in funds as dad got laid off a lot.
    So basically every week was mac and cheese, buttered noodles, cheeseburgers, hotdogs, pizza, spaghetti (or same thing....tomato/meat sauce with different shaped noodles). A few canned noodle soups, some fruit, corn, tomatoes were main veggies. Really we had burgers, pizza and spaghetti....usually 2x a week each.
    Any surprise I could eat that way now? DH likes more variety though so we do that and spaghetti is only once a week usually!

    I didn't do pork either until DH...just a certain kind of ham.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #31424

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Erin, so is it really fake meat at Taco Bell? I know they denied it up and down, of course.
    It is not real hamburger IMO. You have to add water to it to make it look like meat, so I guess it could be dehydrated beef or something. My brother called it "fake meat." And not to gross anyone out but he said to never eat it from his restaurant because they had maggots and they were right next to the meat. He would only eat "taco bell" if he brought home the stuff and made it at home. He said right before an inspection that a guy came in with a blow torch and cauterized some metal together to trap the maggots inside (there was a small gap next to where they kept the meat where the maggots were) so that they would pass. Ever since then I don't eat taco bell, but I do love homemade tacos or tostadas, which Elle calls "mmmmm Mostados" even though she knows how to say tostada.

    Erin

  15. #31425

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    Mostados! That's hilarious!

    Hmm, yeah. I guess there was a reason I used to call it Taco Hell in middle school.

  16. #31426
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    That's disgusting Erin. Was torching that thing really easier than cleaning up and getting rid of the maggots?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #31427
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    So I did read as much as I could. But I don't have a lot to say. But I do want to give to Chrissy. Also to Christina. And :puke: to Taco Bell. We call it Toxic Hell.

    Now I need to vent (again) I'm good at venting huh? Sorry.

    Somewhat OT, but I guess I need to vent.

    Just got some depressing news about the child care assistance program in IL being out of money for this fiscal year. One of my daycare families, with twins, is on the program. They are here 4 days per week, and were dropping down to 2 days a week for summer. So I'm being screwed out of a lot of money over the next 2 months until they are able to back pay me for (possibly April- if they run out before I get paid)May and June when the fiscal year starts over in July. I'm pretty sure I'll still watch the kids and have the parents pay as much as they possibly can, and when I get reimbursed, I'll reimburse them. Just so sucky when I'm already broke because of buying that dang van and getting caught up on bills. Luckily I'll be getting my grant reimbursement money which I'll have to hold onto and pay rent out of... and I think we'll squeeze by but it will be tough. I just really hope I get my April payment (in mid May) and hope I don't have to wait for that until July too. I'd be screwed, I think. /endvent The silver lining is that I have an interview Friday to watch a 6 or 8 week old baby (I forgot which they said) part time. It will in no means replace the money from the twins, but it will definitely help. I'm just worried to watch 2 babies at the same time, one being a newborn, the other being my breastfed baby who sleeps on my lap. Oy!
    Last edited by Inca; 05-02-2012 at 05:29 PM.

    **Lizzo**

  18. #31428
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    Oh what a mess! It makes me so mad that when states run low on funds they take it from programs like that. How about taking it from the legislatures that can't pass a realistic budget? I know in NY they're almost never on time.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #31429
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    Ashley, glad you're back! I hope you had a great time.

    I am never eating Taco Bell again. I think.

    Congrats on the charter school and on good grades!

    And I agree with Erin, Chrissy, there is a lot to be jealous of in what you have accomplished. I know my sister is jealous of me, which is odd because she was such an overachiever and I looked up to her so much as a child (she's 7.5 years older). She and I used to talk constantly and when I started doing things for grad school, such as taking the GRE and applying to schools, she started to get really condescending to me. She left school after getting her Bachelor's after my dad, according to my parents, begged her to go on to grad school, telling her they would pay for it, and she refused to go. Now she wants to go to grad school and doesn't know how to pay for it, and it's really affected my friendship with her (my parents did not pay for my grad school, either - I took out student loans that I am still paying back). The difference is that I made a goal and stuck to it. I'm actually far less of an achiever than she is in life. So she can go ahead and be jealous of me, as far as I'm concerned. Sorry it makes her feel bad that I did what I wanted with my life. The irony is that if I'd been a young mom, I think I would have been perfectly happy to stay home and never finish my bachelors. You never do plan on infertility.

    Changing the subject completely, I had the most ridiculous argument with DH last night - in his sleep! He went to bed and I came to bed and was reading. I had my reading light on, but all the other lights in the house were off. DH got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and left the bathroom light on (the connecting door to the bedroom was open so it was shining right into the bedroom). I asked him why he left the light on and he asked me what I was talking about. So when I was done reading I had to get up and turn the light out, then get back in bed, and the dog was on my side of the bed and started barking at me when I made him move. So DH started screaming at me that I was acting crazy and hurled nasty insults at me - really bad ones. It was clear to me that he was asleep through this, though, and talking back to him did not wake him up. I was so furious I considered sleeping on the couch, but I needed rest for work and didn't think I'd sleep well out there. So this morning DH came in the bedroom as I was waking up, all smiling, to say "Good morning" and kiss me. I told him I was angry at him for the insults he yelled at me last night. He was totally shocked and apologized. He had absolutely no memory of the whole thing.

    I just don't know how to react. I am really not okay with being spoken to that way - but he was asleep and has no memory of it? I can't imagine telling him not to do it again would make any difference. He doesn't talk to me that way when he is awake.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #31430

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    And I forgot earlier: Yay!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Oh and totally random yay me post....

    I got a 90 on one Final and a 100 on the other Final! Giving me A's in both classes

    OK. I'm done now

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  21. #31431

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    That's a tough one, Mandy. I'd try to just let it go - he can't fix it now and was not in his right mind at the time. If it happens again then I might rethink it, but I wouldn't know where to start.

    I had the worst day with J yesterday and had no patience at all and was not a very good mom. She just won't listen or follow directions unless she feels like it. It didn't help that she woke me out of a dead sleep at 6:00 (we normally get up around 7:30) by screaming MOMMMMMYYYYYY and when I go in to see what is the matter she perkily says "I'm not tired anymore!" So I started off the day really ticked off and sleep deprived. The cat has been peeing all over the house secretly, and yesterday morning she peed on my newish $70 sandals. We went to kindergarten round-up to get J signed up for pre-k as that is what the school told me to do and then they told me after the whole thing that the pre-k sign-up isn't until sometime in August, so it was a complete and total waste of time and it got J all excited about going to kindergarten, which I am trying gently to redirect. The day was so long and J was also sleep deprived, so at about 5 she just started crying and whining non-stop about everything and did that for two entire hours. It about drove me around the bend. I had to ask my husband to deal with her when he got home because I was done. That only upset her more so she cried even more and wouldn't stop hanging all over me. It was just awful. I hate the trapped and drowning feeling I get sometimes when she is being like that.

    But good news came at the end of the day: I have some friends who have an interesting company just starting that does tourist oriented mobile sites for cities and regions, as well as similarly structured designs for entities with lots of vendors/partners and they have asked me to help them with the coding and graphic design work! It isn't much money for that kind of work, but considering I don't actually have any experience in either coding or design, it's pretty good money for me. I can do it from home and it is project based - just perfect for me. I'm pretty excited and hope that it works out okay.
    Last edited by girlwonder; 05-02-2012 at 07:18 PM.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  22. #31432
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    Sorry you had such a rough day, Katy. That is exciting news about the job for you, though!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  23. #31433

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    Mandy, I'd let it go-DH talks in his sleep and doesn't remember either and I really can't fault him for it (although he's never been the way your DH was)

    Katy, sorry you had such a rough day. Good news about the job though!

  24. #31434
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    Mandy please don't hold him responsible. I once in a while walk in my sleep and much more often talk in it. I (so I have heard) have been pretty nasty and b*tched out my poor DH on numerous occasions. It would be more often I'm sure except we only sleep together usually once a week because of the different shifts thing. I seriously do NOT remember it, I do NOT have control of it. And I certainly do NOT mean it.
    I do believe if he says I did it, I did it. He's never lied to me in 14 years and doesn't really have it in him. Plus I have experience with my sister and my mom both sleep walking/talking and knowing they said things which they have no recall over.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #31435

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Umm Katy....that one time you posted that fancy dinner and i didn't even know what most of the stuff was.....I would say you are fairly food adventurous!
    I guess I am comparing myself to my dh and some of his friends, who will eat almost anything that someone in the world might consider food

    Liz - I hope all the money stuff gets worked out. That would tie my gut up in knots. How's home life? Any change in the situation/attitude?
    Last edited by girlwonder; 05-02-2012 at 08:13 PM.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  26. #31436
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    Ah, Katy, I completely relate. 2/3 of my children suddenly went through a crazy middle-of-the-night "I'm not sleepy" thing, too. S. was up from 12-2 AM yelling in his crib about wanting to go into the living room because he wanted to play. I kept telling him we were all trying to sleep and he needed to sleep, too. It was awful. I tried to tell dh about it at one point, and I was halfway through a sentence and started telling him that I gave S. a credit card to play with and realized I was half awake, half dreaming. I had to correct myself and tell him I was talking nonsense but S. really was awake and yelling but not because he was in distress.

    Then Claire woke up at 4 AM (two hours after S. fell asleep again), having wet her pajamas. I changed her, and then she said she wanted to go out to the living room and watch tv. I told her it wasn't morning yet, that she needed to try to go back to sleep and if she woke up this early she would be tired and cranky tonight and since dh was out of town and I was doing bedtime by myself tonight, I needed everyone to be as happy as possible. I then got ready for work, since my alarm was set to go off 5 anyway, and left at 4:45. Apparently Claire snuck out to the living room and watched tv on her own after I left. And she was tired and cranky this evening. And everyone cried at bedtime, since S. didn't nap today again and just lost it after dinner because he was so tired.

    I yelled at DS because everyone else was crying and he refused to go wash his hands after I asked him six times in a row after dinner. Then he cried, too. I felt like a bad mom, too. He told me I made him cry and I made him sad. Everyone else fell asleep while we were still getting ready for bed, so I was able to read to DS alone, and we cuddled on the couch so as to not disturb the other kids, and I read Spider Secrets to him, and I apologized for yelling.

    Anyway, Mandy, although I didn't say anything offensive to dh, I did say nonsense to him while I was half-asleep last night. It does happen.

    And Katy, bad days happen. I think about the day I had and I feel awful about it. I had so little sleep, several of my children had so little sleep, we were all on edge and miserable and I wish I could say I learned from it and would not yell again, but I can't say it won't happen. I used to be so patient. I don't know where it went. Your signature quote is much more meaningful to me all of a sudden.


  27. #31437

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    Katy and Lydia, I'm so empathetic to you both right now I could cry! I told dbf at one point tonight that if I made it to bedtime without shedding any tears it would be a miracle. Savana and Kai were just loud and squabbling with each other and Sawyer is sick so SO clingy to me. Oh, and Savana over tired and crying about the craziest things. I was so unreasonable with Kai tonight just from sheer exhaustion. Him and Savana got really muddy outside and stripped down on the front porch and then Savana said she was going to take a shower. I told Kai to get in with her and just wash up quick so we could have dinner. He hates showers. I know that. So he was like, "Mom, I'll just sit on this towel and wait until she is done and won't get anything dirty and then I will take a bath." I kept insisting he jump in the shower and then told him if he didn't jump in the shower that I wasn't going to let him play with the garden hose and get muddy anymore. Playing with the hose is his most favorite thing to do. His little face just fell and I'm like wtf am I even talking about? Why? So I spun right around and told him I was sorry and he was right and he could wait and that was good thinking to stay on the towel. I felt like such a jerk. And then dinner I was just a huge nag. They were just bugging me with their silliness and wildness.
    Finally everything was winding down and I was reading bedtime stories when Sawyer came up to us with a matchbox car in his hand and just threw it at Savana's face. It his her right in the forehead and HO.LY SH!T. She was SO angry and SO hurt and just about shaking with emotion. I don't know what to do about Sawyer. He is very aggressive to Savana always hitting her and throwing things at her because he gets a great reaction. I feel so sorry for her. Tonight I picked up Sawyer when he did that and walked him out of the room, handed him to dbf and walked away to comfort Savana. Sawyer was screaming and crying for me and it was crazy. So I had to nurse him to calme him after I'd calmed Savana and I had Kai practically sitting on my shoulder trying to see the picture in the book and Savana trying to sit as close to me as possible without actually being on top of me. I felt so claustrophobic.
    And now Sawyer's been up twice before 10:30.

    Whew, that was long. Gwenn, I really hope that never happens again with dh but I would also try to let it go.

    to everyone having a rough time.

  28. #31438

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Oh and totally random yay me post....

    I got a 90 on one Final and a 100 on the other Final! Giving me A's in both classes

    OK. I'm done now
    congrats!


    And Katy, there is nothing worse than the smell of cat pee.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  29. #31439

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    And I'm so sorry to those of you that have had bad nights... The only problem sleeper in my house is me. I now have a cold and the dumb restless leg syndrome and just general pregnancy insomnia/uncomfortableness. Reading your stories I feel much less sorry for myself. I'm going to take a bath in a bit to see if it helps anything.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  30. #31440

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    Oh Lydia and Bridget- your days sound tougher than mine. I only had one tiny crazy person to deal with.

    And yes, I was doing the same sort of blanket NO to anything at all without really listening or pondering over it and of course that only makes the crying and whining worse. It is hard to pull myself up and out of my own feelings to make rational responsible Mom decisions.

    I saw both the dermatologist and the podiatrist today. Good news is I have no worrying spots anywhere at the moment. Bad news is that I do have plantar fasciitis. Sigh. But he seems to think that recovery will take about 3 weeks if I am good about stretching, icing and not doing anything to aggravate the condition. I hope so.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


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