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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #30991
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    Oooh I like that Red Bug, cute!!!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  2. #30992

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    I can't really join in the car admiration...I think those VW bugs are ridiculous looking. Sorry

  3. #30993
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    Booooooooooo, Kate! lol.....Cars are very individual to taste, aren't they?

  4. #30994
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    I like them. But like Bridget, I always wanted a Vw Van. Those are suhweeeeeeeeeeeeet! Now that is ONE vehicle if they put a new one out I'd find a way to get. (Maybe a couple years after the release though, too expensive to buy new)

    **Lizzo**

  5. #30995

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    I guess so. I honestly don't really like any of the cars people think are hot. Plus, I'm a short, overweight, frumpy mother and wife. A hot car isn't going to do anything for me.

  6. #30996

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    LOL, Suja. That is so cute! It took Travis a few months between weeing and pooing in the potty. It seems like forever ago now, though. All those animals should help her push that poo out before too long.

    Ah, Bridget. You are a saint for not making your MIL cry. She is being an a-s-s. I'd be inclined to take her aside and just say something like, "Can you stop with all the judgmental comments; they are upsetting me." Because what she's doing is upsetting. I know she's only there for a few days but each time she comes for a visit, she's going to keep at it unless you say something. (I think?)
    I agree with the above regarding your MIL Bridget. You don't have to be mean about it. I did have to have this discussion with my MIL about 3 times before it sunk in. I always started off with "Dearest Mother in Law, you know I love you but I need you to stop....." fill in the blanks. I call my MIL Dearest Mother in Law to this day because I just love her so much (which I do, not kidding there, she is a wonderful woman, just very critical and semi-controlling if you let her but other than that she is great and I adore her and want to be like her when I grow up:-)

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I'm in the camp too of get what you want. I know many people think Dodge/Chrysler suck but I have one of each and really like both of them. OTH, I wouldn't touch a Toyota with a 10 ft pole (I don't think I would get get one as a rental) but know that they have their fans too.

    This is what I plan on buying in the next year or so. http://www.dodge.com/hostc/bmo/CUD20.../2DD/colors.do
    Wanted to comment on this as well, since I have a Dodge Caravan and people do hate Dodge/Chrysler vehicles and the Honda Oddysey or the Toyota Sienna are always touted as being the best minivan. My family has always had Dodge Caravans or the Grand Caravan. They are known to have brake problems but since brakes are easy to fix, other than that, we really haven't had any issues with it other than a mechanic breaking my transmission, and why I understand your fear Liz as the tranny cost me $2K to fix. I still need to go and sue that mechanic for breaking my van to see if I can get my money back.

    But I love my van. My mom had a Caravan for over 10 years and never had any issues with it. We always get the better models though with the highly rated engines. I have a 3.3L, there is another version of the engine that has bad reviews but mine is really good and even my new mechanic has told me that since I got my tranny re-built (I NEVER buy a used tranny since you don't know if they have issues and new ones costs too much IMO so I just get them re-built) my van should last for another 100K miles. It has about 178K on it right now and runs great and is a smooth ride.

    Erin

  7. #30997
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    My grandpa worked for and retired from Chrysler so they hold a spot in my heart, lol. But generally speaking, I prefer Hondas and Toyotas. VW too, though I've never driven one.

    **Lizzo**

  8. #30998
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    Erin, your mileage made me smile. Dh has had his car for 13 years and it has 45,000 miles on it. Lol. That's an American vs British thing. I kind of laugh inside when people talk about distance here. Like, they'll say, I had to drive 10 miles to get to so and so like it's 100 miles away.

  9. #30999
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    So did my dad Liz....the plant in Kenosha most of my life. Probably why I have always pretty much had them.

    And wow to the miles Erin! I have never had a car go that high. But we don't drive that much. Our 2002 Cruiser has under 50K and my Caliber has under 43K...he's a 2007. The Caliber is the one we will trade in for the minivan. We were planning on keeping Caliber until he fell apart but we will need the space of a minivan once we have the baby. As it is, it's going to be hard to get both dogs...Poogie rides in a kennel still, the litter box, our luggage, laptop, dogs food and all their supplies....plus us in the car when we go down to visit family next time.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #31000

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    SCUBJIA!

    Hi, guys. I just wanted to drop in and say . I am buried in work again, and feeling a little downtrodden because I am doing something really hard and time-consuming - aka "this is going to take 150 dedicated hours... as in that's how long it'll take me if I had nothing else to do... which isn't the case because I'm actually working concurrently on at least 2 other projects of the same size. From the beginning, I told my lead that it was going to be this hard and take this long. And since it's ultimately his project and it's making him look behind schedule, he's stressed out. So today he tried the tactic of telling me that "others" are unhappy with me that it's taking so long. Typical BS from him, where he thinks he's motivating me by expressing - not his own criticism because he's too much of a wuss to speak for himself - but how nameless others have criticized me. He forgets that just last Friday he told me how he was the one silently panicking about the timelines HE committed us to. If people are unhappy with me because it's taking too long, it's because he ignored all my warnings about how long it was going to take and made unrealistic promises to people. So anyway, I'm just annoyed that I see him trying to "whip me" into finishing sooner by attempting to make me feel self-conscious about what other people might be saying about me. It really doesn't make the actual task any less complex, nor does it motivate me to try any harder. It just makes me think the guy is a weasel and a weenie.

    OK. Thank you for letting me pop in and just vent for a second. I'll let you return back to your regularly scheduled programming.
    Last edited by demigraf; 04-18-2012 at 11:32 PM.

  11. #31001

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    My car has about that much, Erin. DH's car, which was my first car, has over 200K miles on it, but we really only use it if I'm going to be out and DH wants to go somewhere.

    Sorry Myles, I don't think that tactic would be very effective on me, either.

  12. #31002
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    The new VW bug is cute! It reminds me more of the original bug than the one they made a few years ago.

    My brother had a VW bus. I remember he took about 7 people to Mexico in it when he was 20 or so. Ah, memories - and in that case they weren't even my memories!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #31003

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    Miss you 'round here, Myles! Hope the workload eases up soon.

  14. #31004
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    But I love my van. My mom had a Caravan for over 10 years and never had any issues with it. We always get the better models though with the highly rated engines. I have a 3.3L, there is another version of the engine that has bad reviews but mine is really good and even my new mechanic has told me that since I got my tranny re-built (I NEVER buy a used tranny since you don't know if they have issues and new ones costs too much IMO so I just get them re-built) my van should last for another 100K miles. It has about 178K on it right now and runs great and is a smooth ride.

    Erin
    That's exactly what my caravan had on it when I sold it, and the only reason I sold it was because I wanted the drop-top VW that I'm now selling. All our vehicles have gotten well over 100,000, sometimes even 200,000 miles on them. Rich's last Ford F-150 had 350,000 miles on it. It had over 300,000 miles on it and we were still using it to haul a camper to VA or OH. imo, mileage is not a reason to get rid of a vehicle. Boredom, yes. Mileage? No.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Erin, your mileage made me smile. Dh has had his car for 13 years and it has 45,000 miles on it. Lol. That's an American vs British thing. I kind of laugh inside when people talk about distance here. Like, they'll say, I had to drive 10 miles to get to so and so like it's 100 miles away.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #31005
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    Yeah we have never gotten higher than miles so not a factor in a new car. Usually it's been because it's starting to need repairs that are more than it's worth....and we cannot do the work ourselves. My buick was low miles but old (a granny had it before me). I wanted a new car and the repairs were more than we wanted to pay. Sold it to a guy who knew how to fix cars and he was giving it to his 16 yr old daughter....perfect teenager car...very solid and drove well in the snow.

    Love both our cars....just wish one was bigger.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #31006

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    We drive our van to Ohio and Chicago usually at least 3-4 times per year and also go on trips in the state. We also drove to Disney when we went. Ironically, we have very short commutes so most of the miles came from road trips. We live only 1.5 miles from our jobs and the longest drive of my day is taking Ky to school and that is around a 6 mile ride round trip.

    We bought it used though and it already had around 50K miles on it when we bought it. I also don't usually consider mileage though when buying a vehicle and I especially wouldn't worry about high mileage on a Honda. My dad had a Honda with 400K miles on it almost, I think it was in the 380K range and the only reason he got rid of it was because someone crashed into it and totaled it. He wasn't attached like your husband Ash and let them take it and got a "Heavy Chevy." He still has that car, it is a 1989 Chevy Caprice.

    Erin

  17. #31007
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    I think we're a lot alike Erin.

  18. #31008

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    The little VW bug was my dream car, I never did get one. I saw one the other day with huge long eye lashes on the headlights. Not something I would do, but I laughed when I saw it.

    Lisa, I remember when we went through the sleepless stage, it's so hard!

    Bridget, your MIL needs to meet my MIL, when she is here this summer she *will* drive me crazy. My dad and step mom have been visiting for a week, and there have been times when my dad's patience is tested. The thing is, he is 80 and set in his ways, so any little thing can set him off. But most the time I can make him laugh to get over it. My mil, on the other hand, I just want to poke her in the eye. But she is my son's grandma and he loves her, so I just pinch myself. I literally have done that, pinched myself to keep my mouth shut. And I am the most non confrontational person, she just pushes my buttons, I know she actually thrives on pushes people's buttons.

    When I was little my mom called the liquor store the "candy store", we lived in a tiny town of 1,100 people and she would walk into the store and leave me in the car. I never understood when she came back, I never got any "candy". I still remember when I was about nine years old, and I was finally allowed inside the store with her, I looked at those bottles of booze, thinking "huh? where is the candy?!" talk about a disappointment!
    Shelley-mom to DS, 5

  19. #31009

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    I actually normally buy my wine at the grocery store too. In my town it's separate, but connected so you can pay for it in the liquor store and take it with you in the grocery part. Once in Hawaii we had friends coming for dinner so I went to buy a 12 pack of their favorite beer at the grocery store. I walked everywhere then and Savana had just learned to walk so she would often want out of her stroller to walk. So when we left the grocery store I had the 12 pack in her stroller seat and she was walking. Two guys passed me on the sidewalk and were laughing so hard at that scene. Up until then I'd hadn't thought about how it could look as if I made my baby get up so I had somewhere to put my beer.

    Today was good. No major damage. The only thing that happened was that I was supposed to return some movies that her and dbf had rented for us a few days ago when i took the kids out and I totally forgot. I saw them on the seat of my van this morning and actually meant to hide them, return them on my own and pay the fine so i wouldn't have to hear dbf moan about the late fines. He gets really bent about stuff like that. But they took the van to the store today and when they got home I asked dbf if they returned them and said I was sorry about that. So a few hours later mil says to me, "You didn't return those movies like you said you would so I had to pay $8!"
    I said, "I am so sorry about that. I wish M would have paid the fine." And she said, "He offered lots of times but I didn't let him. I wanted to take care of it."

    "Oh, so that you could come home and let me know about it?" I said. I was laughing when I said it but come on. If you want to take care of it out of kindness then you don't come home and ***** about it.

    And then of course there was the ridiculous convo right before she went to bed where she referred to "stupid Americans" and "stupid mexicans". She acts like Canadians are so enlightened compared to us doofus americans. Her and I probably share a lot of political views but any group generalizations, especially demeaning ones, really bug me and make me not want to listen to people anymore.

  20. #31010

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    In this region a lot of people call the liquor store the package store. I was walking around downtown when I was a teenager and someone asked me where the package store was (an adult, I don't know why he'd ask a teenager). I thought he meant the UPS pickup place and I pointed him in the totally wrong direction

  21. #31011

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    Bridget, I swear my mil would say the same thing regarding the late fee! And she has made comments about Americans too. Once she said Gilly wasn't American, I was standing right there, and I laughed and yes he is. She acted all flustered, and said oh yes I guess you're right. Um yes, he was born in this country, so he is in fact, American. One time when she heard dh say "living room" she wrinkled up her nose, "Oh Tim don't say living room, it's SO American" I was standing right there, wtf? she actually expected dh to call it a drawing room or sitting room. I am sorry, but we don't use those terms here. So of course, I made a point to use the words "living room" a lot that day. snark.

    my eye has been bugging me all night, I just went to wash my face, and I have a sty in my eye. I have never had one. anyone know how to get rid of it?
    Shelley-mom to DS, 5

  22. #31012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I actually normally buy my wine at the grocery store too. In my town it's separate, but connected so you can pay for it in the liquor store and take it with you in the grocery part. Once in Hawaii we had friends coming for dinner so I went to buy a 12 pack of their favorite beer at the grocery store. I walked everywhere then and Savana had just learned to walk so she would often want out of her stroller to walk. So when we left the grocery store I had the 12 pack in her stroller seat and she was walking. Two guys passed me on the sidewalk and were laughing so hard at that scene. Up until then I'd hadn't thought about how it could look as if I made my baby get up so I had somewhere to put my beer.

    Today was good. No major damage. The only thing that happened was that I was supposed to return some movies that her and dbf had rented for us a few days ago when i took the kids out and I totally forgot. I saw them on the seat of my van this morning and actually meant to hide them, return them on my own and pay the fine so i wouldn't have to hear dbf moan about the late fines. He gets really bent about stuff like that. But they took the van to the store today and when they got home I asked dbf if they returned them and said I was sorry about that. So a few hours later mil says to me, "You didn't return those movies like you said you would so I had to pay $8!"
    I said, "I am so sorry about that. I wish M would have paid the fine." And she said, "He offered lots of times but I didn't let him. I wanted to take care of it."

    "Oh, so that you could come home and let me know about it?" I said. I was laughing when I said it but come on. If you want to take care of it out of kindness then you don't come home and ***** about it.

    And then of course there was the ridiculous convo right before she went to bed where she referred to "stupid Americans" and "stupid mexicans". She acts like Canadians are so enlightened compared to us doofus americans. Her and I probably share a lot of political views but any group generalizations, especially demeaning ones, really bug me and make me not want to listen to people anymore.
    Oh Bridget. I can only shake my head. I get upset about generalizations like that too. How unfortunate.

    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    Bridget, I swear my mil would say the same thing regarding the late fee! And she has made comments about Americans too. Once she said Gilly wasn't American, I was standing right there, and I laughed and yes he is. She acted all flustered, and said oh yes I guess you're right. Um yes, he was born in this country, so he is in fact, American. One time when she heard dh say "living room" she wrinkled up her nose, "Oh Tim don't say living room, it's SO American" I was standing right there, wtf? she actually expected dh to call it a drawing room or sitting room. I am sorry, but we don't use those terms here. So of course, I made a point to use the words "living room" a lot that day. snark.

    my eye has been bugging me all night, I just went to wash my face, and I have a sty in my eye. I have never had one. anyone know how to get rid of it?
    I would hold a warm (as hot as you can stand) wash cloth over it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #31013

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    Dangit. I just got an email from my dad that they found 3 more skin cancer spots on his face and neck. One is melanoma. I just hope that because he gets checked so regularly that it hasn't had time to grow deeper than the skin. He also said he's having an mri because he's been "having headaches". Can't help but wonder if there is more going on. He at least has had to be having these headaches for quite some time now because they wouldn't just jump to an mri would they? I am not anywhere near a place where I can accept that my dad could ever be sick. I have been crying off and on all morning now and I need to just relax until we know what's going on. It's so easy to assume the worst isn't it? Especially after you've seen the worst.

    I'm going to attempt a trip to a place called Cave of the Mounds on friday with the kids and mil. I don't think dbf is going to come with us because of course he's hemming and hawing. I just hope it goes smoothly. Every time one of the kids acts out she has a comment. I just don't understand because, sure, she'd probably not have let her kids "get away with" throwing tantrum, or leave the table without eating, or get 3 outfits muddy in one day. But she has tearfully told me before that she wished she'd been a more patient mother and that she actually doled out some pretty harsh wuppins (just to dbf, not his sister because she didn't know how to handle a boy) and regrets it very much. So why not embrace my style? I know my kids act nuts sometimes but they are supposed to act nuts. They are kids! And as a whole, they are awesome, thoughtful, self motivated, creative, well behaved children. Every time they "screw up" it is not a direct result of my parenting. Why am I telling all of this to you guys? lol. I'm pretending you are her.

  24. #31014
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    It's perfectly normal to be frantic with worry about your dad Bridget. Oh goodness...none of you need this scare. I do think they might just to an mri just based on the one melonoma positive result. Kinda of a 'better safe than sorry' approach and it likely doesn't mean anything. I really hope everything goes well for him.

    And you mil...ugh. You're absolutely right. Your kids are perfectly normal and likely better behaved than most. She has regrets-so she should be grateful you aren't like her in parenting. Even if she didn't have regrets, they're your kids! I always said it with humor, but I sorta meant it when I'd tell our family members, "You messed up your kids your way, I'm going to mess up mine my way." Of course I didn't believe I would mess mine up. I was gonna be perfect. But I digress....

    My 16 year old cat isn't doing well. We've decided to just let her die peacefully but I don't know if that's going to work. She was just skin and bones for months now and suddenly really started losing a lot of weight (I didn't think it was possible!). This morning she looks like she has a bad cold. If she is acting like it's hard to breath tonight, I'm taking her to the vet. She had pooped a bit and puked on the living room floor in the night. That's only the 2nd time she's ever done that. The first time was when she'd been hit by a car and it only happened one time. I bent down to kiss the top of her head this morning and the dear was purring. Even as sick as she is, she's a happy kitty. And now I have tears in my eyes again. Bobbie and Jessie were just 3 and 2 years old when we got her.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  25. #31015
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    (Hugs), Bridget. In the end, with your MIL, I think you do best by just letting the comments roll of you and keep doing what you're doing becase you know your kids best and what works for them. I'm sorry to hear that about your dad. It's made me all teary-eyed for you. What will happen with the cancer spots on his face? Do they surgically remove those?

    Shelley, your MIL sounds like a real piece of work with those kinds of comments. And you can tell her that Northern English folk do indeed say living room! Drawing/sitting room is so archaic!

    Man, we are having a rough day here. It's been raining since Monday afternoon and hasn't stopped. It's not been too bad entertaining just Cash since Travis was at school M-W but today with both of them, it's been nuts. And I had to go out in the pouring down rain in to town with them both to get Travis' glasses bent back in to shape at the opticians before we go on our cruise (We leave for the hotel tomorrow afternoon). I parked up and ran to the machine to pay the meter and the one closest to us was out of order, so I had to then go to the other one. Then, I pust Cash in his stroller and tried to put the plastic rain cover over him and he went mental like he was having a claustrophobic attack from being enclosed, so I took it off. Then Travis was insisting on carrying his teddy bear and a toy from the car, so I just shouted at him to hurry up. We got sorted with his glasses and did some other tasks since we were out and then got back to the car and Travis sat there with his window rolled down in the heavy rain while I put the stroller down and buckled Cash in to his seat, so I shouted at him again. We got home and I was just drenched with rain! Ugh. I hate this weather. It makes my mood so horrible! And now I feel horrible for shouting at Travis and for swearing under my breath so much (I am not much of a swearer usually).

  26. #31016
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    Oh, Chrissy, I am so sorry about your kitty. That same thing happened with our chihuahua. She was 17 when she died. She just shrivelled away and could barely move, so my parents had her put down; they couldn't stand to see her like that. And now I'm crying for you, too. (Big, big hugs).

  27. #31017
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    Having pets comes at such a high price. My heart is really breaking. On one hand she's just a cat, but she's been a part of our life for so long.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #31018

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    Chrissy, I am so sorry about your kitty. It's very sad when pets are suffering. I hope she can go peacefully.
    Ash, I hope your day gets better. Forgive yourself and move on is the best thing you can do. We've all been there.

    My dad has had several spots removed over the years. More than I can count. All three types of skin cancer but it never makes it less scary to hear the dreaded melanoma.
    He says the mri has nothing to do with the skin cancer.

  29. #31019
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    Ash-the pouring down rain makes me crabby too. Especially when it goes on and on and on. I hope it clears up soon.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #31020

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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    When I was little my mom called the liquor store the "candy store", we lived in a tiny town of 1,100 people and she would walk into the store and leave me in the car. I never understood when she came back, I never got any "candy". I still remember when I was about nine years old, and I was finally allowed inside the store with her, I looked at those bottles of booze, thinking "huh? where is the candy?!" talk about a disappointment!
    Shelley this made me literally LOL!!

    I actually have fond memories of "the liquor sto." We went with my dad to a store called "State Line Liquor." I could read really early and I found it fascinating that the store was called "state line." I would always try to find the line on the ground and my brother and I would debate about which line in the parking lot was the state line LOL. Mostly we went to State Line Liquor on Sunday because in Ohio there was no Sunday liquor sales but there was in MI and since MI was only a 15 minute ride away, we would go to State Line. There was a fire works store across the parking lot and right next to the liquor store was a seafood place, actually they were in the same building and you could walk into the seafood store (fresh fish, not a restaurant) and buy some fish, which my mom did quite often. My dad was an alcoholic and drank a lot of liquor so we went to State Line probably ever Sunday. We only were allowed in when he was buying fish too. I remember him buying E&J and cat fish, we would go home and he'd fry us up some cat fish and he drink E&J with Coke after we ate.

    I have never even thought about taking my kids into a liquor store. I have only gone to one maybe 3 times in my adult life. I just know I am happy that they got rid of the Sunday alcohol sales here in GA last year and now I can buy cooking wine to make chicken marsala on Sunday if I want to. I kept forgetting about it and then running to the store for Marsala wine or a good red wine to make a dish and they wouldn't sale it to me and it would really piss me off and I'd think about how I wish there was a State Line Liquor store I could go to.

    Bridget I also got teary thinking of your dad. I hope all is well for him as I so don't want him to be ill just out of selfishness since I don't want you to be worried or concerned about him in that way. I'm happy he is proactive about his checkups. There is a new documentary coming out on Facebook about Bob Marley and a radio station I was listening to yesterday were talking about him and how he died of skin cancer due to him not wanting to follow a treatment plan (they wanted to cut off his toe as he had a melanoma on his toe and he wouldn't let them). The DJs were all talking about how it is so smart to be proactive in treating moles and getting regular checkups for skin cancer. Even though it is rare black people get it too but are less likely to have regular checkups and die at a higher rate because of it.


    And your MIL....makes me want to come visit you when she visits next time so I can counter all of her snide remarks. I remember you saying how helpful she was last time she came to visit so I hope at least she is helping like before, but man...those comments would really bother me too and I would use my sugary, syrupy sweet voice to counter her remarks with some common sense.

    Erin

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