04-12-2012, 09:19 AM
04-12-2012, 10:03 AM
We're already on assistance. Doubt we'd qualify for anything additional than we already receive.
04-12-2012, 10:23 AM
Hugs Liz I wish I could help more. Just know that you're strong enough to do whatever you want to do.
04-12-2012, 10:25 AM
04-12-2012, 10:30 AM
04-12-2012, 11:07 AM
Liz, you've gotten some great advice from the ladies here; I can't offer anymore advice. I have never been in a situation like yours but just wanted to say that I'm sending hugs your way and I know that eventually you'll work things out for yourself and you'll do what's best for you and the kids.
04-12-2012, 11:12 AM
04-12-2012, 11:27 AM
Thanks. A lot of the stuff suggested is stuff I've already been doing. I've got a bit of savings to get a new vehicle. I actually have an old POS van I'm trying to sell or scrap but I want to get rid of it in a way I will get the most money for it. I'm hoping for $500 off it. I just am not good with vehicles so Bryan was supposed to be trying to sell it but he hasn't put it on CL yet. He knows more about what's "wrong" with it than I do, which is why I personally would rather scrap it. LOL
Uhhhh. I guess I could try to get a credit card, and pay it off each month.
I was also thinking about talking to my landlady this week when she comes to set some ant bait out and see if she had any other rentals that might fit my needs. Good thing with sticking with her is that she could apply the security deposit from here to the new place. Though, only 475 of it is mine, if it was any extra then I'd have to pay the rest. (Like we did when we moved from an apartment owned by her to this house owned by her)
And no I am not normally one to rehome animals either. I try to do everything in my power to make sure they are cared for, and don't have to house-hop. Chinchillas live a LONG time like 10-15 years or more, and they are all somewhere around 7 years old. Except one that is probably closer to 9. I've had them all since they were a few months old so I'm having a hard time admitting that rehoming them is a possibility. The main issues is that they need their own space, either a basement or a spare room. Because they are messy, and I can't have the kids around that. Pine shavings and poo pellets, you know. Not to mention how furry they are, and they bathe in dust. So yeah, that is that.
I also am going to go to the library this weekend to meet up with his mom, sister and her two kids so we might be able to chat *a bit* I did just tell her when I talked to her a bit ago that I am "nearing the end of my rope with him." I know that he would be a nightmare to live with if he found out I was taking any steps to leave. He already says I'm "using" him. Right, uh huh. Makes no sense there.
04-12-2012, 11:37 AM
Nolan is going to be a Big Brother My Blog
04-12-2012, 11:48 AM
04-12-2012, 11:50 AM
04-12-2012, 11:59 AM
04-12-2012, 12:01 PM
Yeah I know what you mean. It's like an addict, they have to wait until they are ready though, right.
04-12-2012, 12:02 PM
04-12-2012, 12:05 PM
Hugs to you, Liz. Feeling trapped sucks. I have been there. I think you've gotten great advice here and I hope you can look inside yourself for the right answer.
04-12-2012, 12:16 PM
04-12-2012, 12:39 PM
You are right though, Chrissy. Doing what's right is not always easy. I don't think anyone ever feels ready to put their whole lives into an upheaval, especially when kids are involved. I think in these cases things are really tough for a spell when you leave but then a year later when one looks back, they are so glad they did it.
Last edited by Bridget; 04-12-2012 at 12:41 PM.
04-12-2012, 12:43 PM
LOL! That was very funny.
Originally Posted by Smplyme89
Oh, Liz, I just hope that the answer for what to do becomes clear to you. I can totally relate to your desire to make it clear that he has his lovable qualities too. I don't question it. I don't doubt any single one of us would have chosen a dud; the women in this room are far too awesome and any guy who sees your awesomeness has got to be more than ok. The critical quality you want him to have, though - for lack of a better word - is a sense of self-ownership, that is the desire to self-improve and the realization that lasting change has to come from inside himself.
For your part, it sounds like he kind of needs help to get to a place where he can recognize he needs to help himself. If there were a simple formula I could give you to make that happen, I would have used it myself by now. It's never easy to be in your position.
There are some herbs that can help with stress, depression, anxiety, and I can attest to the fact that they work at least for me. I'm never one to make a prescriptive type of suggestion without telling you to talk to someone like an herbalist or naturopathic doctor, but since cost is a concern to you, I can point you to a questionnaire that can help you determine what herbs might help him. They are a fairly low-cost alternative (and arguably lower risk) to medical intervention. And if you can help him get to a calmer, happier place mentally, perhaps he can address the more trouble aspects of his situation that seem to be causing stress for your whole family. Just let me know and I'll PM you more about it.
Suja, I just had a meeting with another woman named Suja. I'd never met one before you. Rest assured, you'll always be my first Suja, though. You never forget your first.
04-12-2012, 12:50 PM
I am very interested Myles.
And I forgot to answer the question above. The bills are in my name. Internet and electricity. Water is attached to the house though, and not me. Internet is often late but electricity has not been for a long while.
Anywho, thanks everyone for the advice. Like I said before I just try to take it one day at a time. And the past week has been a doozy.
04-12-2012, 12:53 PM
Nolan is going to be a Big Brother My Blog
04-12-2012, 12:57 PM
btw, I've weighed the ethical pros and cons of "doping" my DH with herbs without his knowledge. (Of course, that would be very, very bad!) But it's giggle-worthy to think that's the form mischief would take in my new-agey, crunchy self.
04-12-2012, 12:58 PM
Ok, Liz. I ducked out of the office for a bit but I'll send you a link I bookmarked once I'm back at my desk.
04-12-2012, 01:00 PM
04-12-2012, 01:04 PM
Last edited by Inca; 12-27-2012 at 03:24 PM.
04-12-2012, 01:20 PM
04-12-2012, 01:24 PM
OMG! Why did I never consider drugging DH? I make all his food. He'd never know.
04-12-2012, 01:28 PM
04-12-2012, 01:36 PM
04-12-2012, 01:39 PM
04-12-2012, 01:45 PM