Christmas makes me miss my mom too. I am just not feeling it this year. Of course I am excited to give my kids their gifts, and dbf too. I got him a home beer brewing kit which will benefit both of us since I like beer too! But I decided last night I'm not even sending out christmas cards this year. Do I suck or what? I just keep stressing about it. I still have not taken a picture. We're so broke. Once I told myself I wasn't going to do it, I felt immediately relieved. But I do feel bad.
I think I have to stop caring for the 3 homeschool boys I've had. Mom just got a new job at a gym that offers childcare for her at a monthly rate and since she has to pay the monthly rate to get them in for her evening hours, she doesn't want to also pay me the few extra dollars that the state does not cover for her. I understand that. I actually offered to do it for the state's rate just because I really, really love these boys and so do my kids. It was almost a dollar per hour less than my rate but I was willing to eat it just for the continuity or harmony down here. Except today I got a letter from the state saying they were covering even less, bringing it to almost $2 lower than my rate. I just can't do it. I'd probably end up losing money after feeding them all day. Blah. I know these things work themselves out but I was loving our little group.