Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

Josh says he remembers that he wore blue clothes when he was born. He says "even without seeing the pictures I know that"

He's too cute!

I'm always amazed at the detail Conner remembers about our trip to AZ to see Mikey. He was just 2 when we went. If he overhears anyone talk about an airplane, he'll speak right up and gesture to show how the plane went up and down during the turbulence on the way home. He talks specifically about things he did with Mikey and a lot about what he saw in Tombstone. Apparently the Grand Canyon didn't impress him much because he doesn't seem to remember that. But he remembers the train car we slept in in Williams, AZ.

[demigraf]

Thanks for the link, Chrissy.

Jen, you're bringing back memories from our puppy training days! Oh boy. You're getting into the thick of it now.

L, congrats to J! Can you share any more about his invention?

My first memory is of me at age 2, jumping on a bed and singing while my great-aunt sat at the sewing table telling me how great I was.

Speaking of... this is the great-aunt who looked after me from infancy to age 5. Mostly, she was my supplemental childcare while my parents were working. But I was also left alone with her in the old country for 9 months as an infant while my immigration papers were being prepared, after my parents had been forced to already move to the U.S. She has dementia and is in a home now in So Cal. I have been making a big push to move her up here closer to me and family in Northern CA. It would mean a lot to me if I could do it, but it's so difficult to find resources for elder care. I've been talking to various ombudsman assigned by the state asking for help, but their specialty is in preventing elder abuse, not in placement. There is A LOT of drama surrounding my great-aunt. She had a pretty checkered past - did a number of questionable things, and consequently, no one in my parents' generation will speak to her. Even I didn't speak to her for nearly a year for something hurtful she did to my mom. But I owe her a lot for all the love she gave and sacrifices she made for me while growing up. If I can come on this thread one day and announce that we're moving her up here, it'll be a major cause for celebration.

[missychrissy]

I hope it happens Myles. I assume you've talked to the CA Dept Office of Aging?

[daylilies]

Good luck Myles! That would be wonderful.

[Cosmosmom]

Have you checked with local hospitals....I know I have some resources in the library for eldercare locally and I believe that the social work department does also. Maybe try these too http://www.aoa.gov/

http://www.nia.nih.gov/

[AmeriBrit]

Aw, I hope you can get her close to you, Myles. It really is important to me to look after our close family.

L, that is amazing about your DH; if you can share more about his invention, that would be really neat to hear about!

I went to see Travis sing at his class's Christmas sing-a-long type thingy today; he sat in the back and didn't sing (as usual!) but it was really cute to watch. I'm going to upload the video on to facebook in a little bit.

[AmeriBrit]

DP

[Bridget]

Myles, I hope you can get her close to you.

Josh is so clever.

Here's a funny conversation that happened today between Kai and another four year old I take care of.
Kai: I dropped my cereal
V: You can't eat it. It has germs.
Kai: I can't see germs!
V: They are invisible!
Kai: I already know that. I know everything.
V: If you know everything then what is one plus one?
Kai: What??? V, Come ON. You know I can't do that without a magnifying glass.
V: Oh, yeah. Sorry Kai.
(Hugs)


I'm taking Savana to the dr today for hopefully a referral for the ocd. Wish us luck!

Has Molly had her appt yet???

[daylilies]

LOL Kai and V, I love hearing about conversations between little ones. Too cute. Good luck with the referral.

[AbbeysMom]

Myles, I hope you can get her close to you.

Josh is so clever.

Here's a funny conversation that happened today between Kai and another four year old I take care of.
Kai: I dropped my cereal
V: You can't eat it. It has germs.
Kai: I can't see germs!
V: They are invisible!
Kai: I already know that. I know everything.
V: If you know everything then what is one plus one?
Kai: What??? V, Come ON. You know I can't do that without a magnifying glass.
V: Oh, yeah. Sorry Kai.
(Hugs)


I'm taking Savana to the dr today for hopefully a referral for the ocd. Wish us luck!

Has Molly had her appt yet???

I have one next Thursday, but not until then. I asked for a week break because honestly I was getting tired of going in every week and it wasn't assuaging my fears anyway. Hoping this next time I don't have to drop my pants for the ultrasound too.


And at that conversation between Kai and his friend!

[missychrissy]

I have one next Thursday, but not until then. I asked for a week break because honestly I was getting tired of going in every week and it wasn't assuaging my fears anyway. Hoping this next time I don't have to drop my pants for the ultrasound too.

So far so good, right?

[AbbeysMom]

So far so good, right?

I don't know. As of yesterday I feel really... normal. Morning sickness that was hitting me several times a day is just gone. I did exercise quite a bit in the past two days too.

[Smplyme89]

Myles, I hope you can get her close to you.

Josh is so clever.

Here's a funny conversation that happened today between Kai and another four year old I take care of.
Kai: I dropped my cereal
V: You can't eat it. It has germs.
Kai: I can't see germs!
V: They are invisible!
Kai: I already know that. I know everything.
V: If you know everything then what is one plus one?
Kai: What??? V, Come ON. You know I can't do that without a magnifying glass.
V: Oh, yeah. Sorry Kai.
(Hugs)


I'm taking Savana to the dr today for hopefully a referral for the ocd. Wish us luck!

Has Molly had her appt yet???

That is just too cute Bridget

[missychrissy]

Lack of morning sickness doesn't necessarily mean anything, as I'm sure you know. I can understand how it would be reassuring to have though. I never thought I'd wish it on anyone, but I do wish you'd have a mild case of it.

[AmeriBrit]

Molly, sending you good vibes for your next appointment!

Bridget, that is a classic conversation.

That reminds me of a conversation between two 9 year olds the other day at school. They got to talking about how old I was and then they were comparing how old their mothers are and one said to the other, "It's better to have younger parents because as they get older, they get really grumpy." And the other said, "Yeah, I have an older mum and I so know what you mean."

I hope the doctor can help with S's OCD. (hugs)

[Gwenn]

That reminds me of a conversation between two 9 year olds the other day at school. They got to talking about how old I was and then they were comparing how old their mothers are and one said to the other, "It's better to have younger parents because as they get older, they get really grumpy." And the other said, "Yeah, I have an older mum and I so know what you mean."

Bwahahaha! I came home from work today tired and grumpy, and was just thinking that maybe I was too grumpy to be a good mom should I ever get pg. Apparently I was right!

Hugs to all of you with your doctors appointments. Hoping they all go well.

Myles, some day I would love to hear the story of your family's move to the US if you are ever comfortable sharing. If not, that's fine, too. I do hope you can bring your great aunt to live close to you.

Jennifer, I am going to read that book you linked to. It sounds interesting. And I'm sure I'll think of L the whole time I'm reading it.

Bridget, LOL about Kai and V! Too adorable.

My particular moment of grumpiness today is because I had another run-in with our admin. I was reviewing a file for an eval. Suffice it to say that the child is a drug baby, mom is in jail with no contact with the family, and dad was illiterate and could only sign his name on the X. He had to get a neighbor to fill out the forms we send home. The child's history leads me to believe he may be physically violent, he screams constantly, and will not tolerate unknown people. They didn't screen him because of his behavior. While I'm reviewing this, I get an email stating that we are having a woman who is coming to observe us for a class she is taking for her master's degree. She was supposed to observe another team on Monday but - get this - Monday she gave birth so had to reschedule for Thursday. She'll be observing the violent child who screams constantly. So I responded by saying that she could come, but there are significant concerns and the child doesn't tolerate strange people. Would it be possible for her to observe another team or possible to observe our 1st session (this was the 2nd session). The reply was that we were the only 2nd session and she needed to come later because she had a baby to deal with. So I responded again, asking if she intended to bring the baby because if she did, I would not be able to guarantee the safety of a 3 day old around a violent preschooler with no safety awareness. Admin replied that she hoped the baby wasn't coming, but it was "the mother's choice" whether to bring her baby or not and if it became a distraction, I could ask her to leave....am I the only one who sees a problem with that? Why can't admin tell her we can't allow her infant into the evaluation? If she brings the baby, I'm telling her to take the baby out. I really don't think she will, but we can't ask her in advance not to bring the baby because it's her choice? So either the baby will scream and set the child off, or the child will scream and set the baby off ... one of the two, and possibly both, is practically guaranteed.

[missychrissy]

It would appear to be that could be a liability with the baby. If the new mother isn't warned that the client could be dangerous and 'something' happens, she might blame your administrators for not informing her.

[Gwenn]

It would appear to be that could be a liability with the baby. If the new mother isn't warned that the client could be dangerous and 'something' happens, she might blame your administrators for not informing her.

Very much so, and we could all get sued. And as my colleagues and I have said more than once, we are the ones who stand to have our professional licenses in jeopardy should something go wrong. I really don't think they get that when they put us in ethically questionable situations.

[Smplyme89]

Wow. I don't know that I'd want to be observing anything but my NB and maye some munchies 3 days after giving birth

I hope she doesn't bring the LO, what an awkward position to put you in.

[demigraf]

Aaaargh! Lost a ton of paragraphs just by hitting my left arrow. Grrrr. So, to recap in a nutshell...

Mandy, I'm tearing my hair out for you. I'm hearing nothing but a bunch of disregard for the interests of those children, just to fit them into this woman's schedule. And to answer your question about my immigration story, it's not that interesting, really. My parents put themselves (and later my sister) on the waiting list for 7 years before their names came up. My dad waffled - unsure of whether he wanted to emigrate - until my mom had gotten pregnant and had me and the INS was threatening to revoke their invitation to the U.S. if they didn't move right away. So, their hands forced, they came here with my sis, while I was left behind for them to process my immigration papers. Only took 9 months of separation from my parents as an infant. My mother says it was terrible for her to leave me behind.

Chrissy, I love the new avatar. Sex-ay!

Bridget, what an adorable little conversation. Definitely one to remember forever.

Aaaand I'm paranoid of losing what I've typed, so I'm hitting Post now.

[Gwenn]

How heartbreaking for your mother. I'm so glad it all worked out.

[demigraf]

Molly, I hope you're feeling fine, mama.

Thank you all, btw, for the recommendations for my great-aunt. The dizzying, frustrating thing about my search for help is that the many agencies all share mostly the same list of resources. I have to compare each list closely in the hopes of finding one I haven't seen before. She's on a fixed income too. I was told flat out by one ombudswoman that we could talk placement only after I was able to come up with more than $x per month for her care. If money were no object, I wouldn't be asking them for help. Jeesh.

On another note, silly story for you. I had one of those afternoons where my life looked like it came out of a freakin' catalog. It was sunny, and I went for a run along the beach path. I was in one of those ridiculous matching workout suits with B in his fancy stroller that my parents gave us. We stopped at the farmers' market on our way back to the car. B was very good - didn't ask for a sweet this time, only wanted a butternut squash and a bunch of these miniature multicolored carrots. On our jog back to the car, the wind picked up and B started shouting, "My carrots! My carrots are cold!" So I told him to wrap his carrots in his hat to "keep them warm". I thought to myself how cute he was, totally focused on keeping his little knit beanie fastened around his carrots the last half mile back. When we got back and I was taking him out of his stroller, he said "See? Feel. My carrots are still cold." Ha! So I thought he was treating his carrots like pets who could physically feel the cold. When all along he just complaining that his hands were chilled from holding the carrots. Duh!

Bridget (or anyone else who might have advice here) how do you come up with things to say in the puppet shows you do for the kids? I ended up getting B a puppet theater for his Christmas present, but have to admit I've got a little stage fright when it comes to putting on a show for him. I am hoping I can at least start off with scripts. It's funny how a little 3 year old can give me performance anxiety.

Finally, does anyone know how to roast beets? I used to hate them, but only recently got into them. I almost bought some at the farmer's market today (far-mar?) but realized I didn't know how to prepare them.

[demigraf]

How heartbreaking for your mother. I'm so glad it all worked out.

Thanks, M! I'm so glad they made them move to the U.S. too. I can't imagine what my life would be today if they'd stayed put.

[3andMe]

I have never roasted beets; only boiled them.

[Bridget]

I totally know what you mean Myles! I felt really nervous and tongue tied when I first started trying to do puppet shows and also I started "storytelling" instead of reading books. As far as I can tell it just takes practice. Sometimes while I'm reading a book to the kids I will realize that it would make a great puppet show so I do it that way. Mostly I use it to address behavior issues so in those cases I have to make it up as I go along. One thing all the kids love is when I just have the puppet talk to them so I will choose a child and ask them to "please go find me 3 green things because I'm decorating my new bedroom and I need GREEN." and then I change colors, or ask for shapes or sizes....

[missychrissy]

On our jog back to the car, the wind picked up and B started shouting, "My carrots! My carrots are cold!" So I told him to wrap his carrots in his hat to "keep them warm". I thought to myself how cute he was, totally focused on keeping his little knit beanie fastened around his carrots the last half mile back. When we got back and I was taking him out of his stroller, he said "See? Feel. My carrots are still cold." Ha! So I thought he was treating his carrots like pets who could physically feel the cold. When all along he just complaining that his hands were chilled from holding the carrots. Duh!

I've done similar things. Now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense that our kids think we're idiots when they become teenagers. By that point, they've had a lifetime of experiencing things just like this!

How would things work if your great-aunt already lived up there? Would those places still be expecting you to contribute? I hate how difficult it's become to treat our older generation. They should be the first set of the population that we (as a society) take care of. It shouldn't be so hard.

[daylilies]

Roast beets: preheat oven to 425 and place the beets on a foil-lined pan. Drizzle w/ oil and some salt and pepper and roast them-different sizes will take different times but check them around 25 minutes.
After you take them off I recommend using a towel or rag to rub the skins off. (obviously something you don't mind getting stained LOL) They should come off easily.
Oops! forgot to say you should fold up the foil around the beets, making a little packet.

[Ky'sMom]

Kai and his friend's conversation is so cute!!! I love listening to Elle talk with her friends and about the conversations she has with them. She is such a serious girl and will contort her little face and look like she can't believe it when her little friends don't agree with her. It is so hilarious to me!

That reminds me of a conversation between two 9 year olds the other day at school. They got to talking about how old I was and then they were comparing how old their mothers are and one said to the other, "It's better to have younger parents because as they get older, they get really grumpy." And the other said, "Yeah, I have an older mum and I so know what you mean."

That is hilarious as well!! I also love Ky's conversations. He is so secretive though IMO and doesn't tell me much about what goes on with him. He has always been like this (it is how DH is as well so I think it is genetic it is literally like pulling teeth to get things out of them) but one of his friends, the little kid on that video I posted who ran up and showed his face at the end of the video, he is always good for a funny conversation. He was telling me recently about seeing a huge crocodile on an internet website and how is was so amazing and magnificent that is made him scream in joy and cry and close his eyes at the same time! He had to turn the computer off. His mom was rolling her eyes and laughing and says he is always over reacting about giant things he reads about or sees. He cannot watch nature shows because of this, they are just too amazing and he cannot bear to watch them. He is such a funny little guy. A good mixture of goofy and intelligent!

That must have been heartbreaking leaving you for your mom Myles. I cannot imagine leaving my kids for more than a week at a time. I actually do go on mini vacations away from them but I miss them after 2 days. I hope you can get som help for your aunt. Is she totally in the grips of dementia or can she live by herself? I work for the housing authority here with the elderly population and even though our residents are suppose to be able to live independently, most eventually develop some sort of illness that makes it impossible for them to live alone. Usually they can get a relative or live in aid. We are also required to assist them with home healthcare. If I were you I'd check with your local housing authority for senior communities. They are usually cheaper than regular elderly apartment communities and they offer a lot of services. I know we do all we can to keep our residents in their apartments for as long as possible. We only get vacancies usually if one of them passes away or they are just too far gone and we have to recommend a transfer to a nursing facility. Because we are governed by HUD we have to do all we can to assist the residents and this is true nationwide. Unfortunately though there is always a waiting list for applicants. Currently most of our properties have a waiting list of over 2 years.

Erin

[raspberry]

L, that is incredible news. Love to hear more about it.

M, Bodhi is so cute.

B, I am sorry about your brother's comment. Yesterday I was at my sister's house, we've been getting together and doing xmas baking. G was being his normal 3 1/2 year old self, active and talkative, and my 20 year old niece, said he was birth control. He was crawling up on her lap, trying to get her to play with him. My sister said, well you are not ready to be a mom.

I love Christmas, but it really makes me miss my mom terribly. She died in 2004, I cannot believe she's been gone that long. My mom loved Christmas so much, she went all out every year. I am the youngest of 4 kids, one of my brothers would try and sneak peeks at his presents. He would go under the tree and shake his presents. So my mom started swapping presents, she would put the wrong names on ALL the presents. On Christmas morning, when we would start opening presents, mom would suddenly swap our gifts. How she kept track of all that I will never know haha! She was also a big fan of the theme presents, that we all had open at the same moment. sigh I miss her. She really was the heart and soul of our family. It's just so different now, not necessarily bad, just different.

[demigraf]

I love Christmas, but it really makes me miss my mom terribly. She died in 2004, I cannot believe she's been gone that long. My mom loved Christmas so much, she went all out every year. I am the youngest of 4 kids, one of my brothers would try and sneak peeks at his presents. He would go under the tree and shake his presents. So my mom started swapping presents, she would put the wrong names on ALL the presents. On Christmas morning, when we would start opening presents, mom would suddenly swap our gifts. How she kept track of all that I will never know haha! She was also a big fan of the theme presents, that we all had open at the same moment. sigh I miss her. She really was the heart and soul of our family. It's just so different now, not necessarily bad, just different.

Clever mama! I'm so sorry she's particularly missed this time of year.

That must have been heartbreaking leaving you for your mom Myles. I cannot imagine leaving my kids for more than a week at a time. I actually do go on mini vacations away from them but I miss them after 2 days. I hope you can get som help for your aunt. Is she totally in the grips of dementia or can she live by herself? I work for the housing authority here with the elderly population and even though our residents are suppose to be able to live independently, most eventually develop some sort of illness that makes it impossible for them to live alone. Usually they can get a relative or live in aid. We are also required to assist them with home healthcare. If I were you I'd check with your local housing authority for senior communities. They are usually cheaper than regular elderly apartment communities and they offer a lot of services. I know we do all we can to keep our residents in their apartments for as long as possible. We only get vacancies usually if one of them passes away or they are just too far gone and we have to recommend a transfer to a nursing facility. Because we are governed by HUD we have to do all we can to assist the residents and this is true nationwide. Unfortunately though there is always a waiting list for applicants. Currently most of our properties have a waiting list of over 2 years.

Great-aunt (we always called her Gramma) was previously in senior housing. It was really great for her because she was so independent and perfectly affordable on her income. Then the dementia started to set in, and her behavior went from seemingly normal to extremely bizarre and "crazy" in just 2 weeks, although I understand the disease sets in slowly over the course of a decade. My cousins and I had a couple of scary nights in the ER trying to get her help, trying to get her to agree she needed help. It was heartbreaking the day we entered her into her first dementia/alzheimers facility, which she also had to agree to. There was a standoff in the parking lot for more than an hour. People who worked in the facility took turns pleading with her to come in and get help, as she sat in a lawn chair someone brought out for her, refusing to budge and with hatred on her face at us for bringing her there. Finally, we called in a teacher whose class she volunteered for for almost 10 years. The teacher came and was finally able to convince her to admit herself into the facility. She's been under supervised care ever since, although she's now in a group residential home which isn't quite as hospital-like. I still feel the conditions can sometimes be deplorable there, and if not that, then at least very lonely and sad. She's so far gone that she mostly lies in bed blankly all day. She could barely whisper my name when I last visited her in August. Ugh, she's too far from us! If we could just get her up here near me and my cousins who actually give a hoot about her - this is going to sound really morbid - I think she could still have a dignified exit. I only wish I'd started this process earlier, when we first moved up here. I was just so frazzled from first-time motherhood. In Bodhi's first 6 months, I only visited her twice, and that was when she lived 15 minutes from me.

Did anyone ever see the movie The Savages? It's about a brother and sister who admit their father into an elderly home. By the time the credits rolled, I was stuck to my seat crying my eyes out, thinking of my great-aunt. It's one of those devastating movies.

Katy, I wanted to comment earlier about your term, "scar movie", because that is a perfect term. I definitely have my list of movies that I can't ever watch again because they'd take me to some emotional brink.

Roast beets: preheat oven to 425 and place the beets on a foil-lined pan. Drizzle w/ oil and some salt and pepper and roast them-different sizes will take different times but check them around 25 minutes.
After you take them off I recommend using a towel or rag to rub the skins off. (obviously something you don't mind getting stained LOL) They should come off easily.
Oops! forgot to say you should fold up the foil around the beets, making a little packet.

Yum, thanks so much. I was wondering how to take the skins off. Thanks for the trick with the towel.